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Pictures
Drawn by Kids
Story contributed by an anonymous ssqq dance instructor whose
name is NOT Rick.
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So you are a parent. Isn't it about
time you figured out an average moron can probably draw a better
picture than your kid?
If you work in an office with lots of people
like I do, chances are that you work with a person who
hangs up pictures that their kids have
drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree
with wheels or worst of all some dog with three
legs and a bunny rabbit tail.
The bottom line:
These pictures are terrible!!
I work in a law office. Recently some
misguided fool sent a memo inviting people to hang their kid's
pictures on a bulletin board here at the office.
Ohmigod. I almost died when I saw the results!!
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What kind of moron parent would be stupid enough to put
these pictures on a wall for everyone to see? If
my kid drew a picture this bad, I would do society a favor and
burn it instantly.
These pictures have to be the most pathetic collective display
of misguided and misplaced pride imaginable in the history of
the human race.
As I viewed each picture carefully, I assigned a grade
for each effort. Make up your own mind.
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Warning. You are
about to view some of the Worst
Drawings in the History of Mankind.
Some of them may frighten or appall you. Proceed at your own risk. |
Francie, age 4
First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to
be a dog, then it's the worst dog I've ever seen.
Hey Francie, See the dog. See
Fido run. See Fido use his legs to run. Now count all the legs on
the dog. Four, Francie. Not two. Four. Stick
out your fingers, put one down, and start counting. Four.
F
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Karim, age 8.
Gee Karim, you
spelled America wrong, you moron.
Also, America's
colors are red, white and blue.
Guess what, there's no yellow in the
American flag. Or was the idea to draw it from memory? Try
using "blue" next time.
Are you from another country? Have you
ever actually looked at the flag? Stevie Wonder could paint a
better flag.
Go tell Daddy you need glasses, but I doubt it
will help much.
And don't get me started again on how to spell "America", Karim. You must be
from another country. Here in America we use a
language called "English".
F
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Davy, age 4
Varoom Zoom Varoom!
Go Truck Go!!
Geez, I think my dog could draw a better
truck than this using an etch a sketch.
Hey Davy, next time try using your hands
instead of your feet.
F
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Liza, age 6
Holy Guacamole, I almost had a
stroke when I saw this one.
Eggs don't have
ears and Bunny rabbits don't have whiskers, you
fool.
And what are those blue things, clouds or flying worms?
That is the worst sun I have ever seen.
The damn thing is coming unraveled, probably because it looks like
it is plummeting to earth.
Stick to drawing bugs. That seems to be your
strongpoint, kid. Nice use of color too. Don't say I am
completely negative.
F
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Cameron, age 4
Terrible. I am
scared to guess what it's supposed to be.
I have seen "connect a dot" scribbles at Denny's
that look better than this.
And what the hell is that face supposed to be, Schmeagle the Golum from Lord of
the Rings with a booger in his nose?
Try using color next time. Ask
Liza above. She's the color expert.
F
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Bruce, age 10
This one looks like the
self-portrait of a psychotic. I like the bolts in the side of his face.
Frankenstein? Or more likely some kid expressing his inner torment over getting braces.
This kid might actually make money in the art
world. People buy shit like this all the time and call it
'genius'.
You don't believe me? See the next caption below.
Oh, I forgot. Bruce wants his grade.
D -
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Salvador Dali, Deceased.
The guy made millions drawing stuff like this. Now that I think
of it, maybe these kids have a chance after all. |
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Jonny, age 8
Ding Ding Ding! Oh,
boy, here it comes, the
crap-mobile!
I've never seen a fire truck before that needed to be shaved.
I would
rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit.
F
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Rachel, age 7
That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the
rainbow is white. Gee, Rachel, did you know that
rainbows often have many colors?
Or did Daddy only give you one crayon?
Or are you simply too stupid to try more than one color?
You could use some imagination.
F
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Jason, age 6
This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to
squirt as much marxalot on paper in the least
amount of time.
What the hell is this picture, anyway?
I've seen better designs in my cat's litter box.
F
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Kevin, age 4
I thought the dog in the first picture was bad,
but this is the worst drawing of a dog since cavemen
started doodling.
Even worse, this kid is probably perverted.
His picture looks like two gay guys walking a giant breast. Why in
the hell would anyone be stupid enough to put this on a wall where
other people might see it??
F
Suggestion - Please get this kid into therapy.
Bring the picture with you.
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Kelly, age 9
I saved the absolute worst for last. This
was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents.
NINE years old and the kid can't draw any better
than this? That has to be the WORST
Christmas tree I have ever seen in my life. It looks like a
giant carrot with fungus taking a shit.
Or maybe it's a big Christmas Rocket preparing to launch. Rorschach
would have a field day with this one.
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Can you believe a kid gave this garbage to her
parents? A nine year old kid cannot even draw a STAR on top of a
Christmas tree for crying out loud. What a pathetic excuse for a
Christmas present. My kids hand me shit like this and they can
start looking for a
foster home.
The kid can't
draw a lick, can't even get the tree to stand up
straight, is probably still in day care at age 9 and has a parent with
shit for brains who puts it on a wall. What upsets me the most is to think someone I depend on
to make a living here at work is so challenged for common sense that he
actually hung this picture up for the whole world to see!!
At least the kid has a future. I bet she follows her father into law.
He owns the place.
F
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