October 2006
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The SSQQ Newsletter
Written and Edited by Rick Archer
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This is the October 2006 issue of the SSQQ Newsletter.  



On Sunday, August 27, 136 wild and crazy SSQQ dancers climbed aboard the Rhapsody down in Galveston. As I predicted, more than few individuals completely lost control for a week.

I will not know the extent of the damage until the official pictures are posted.  I do know that some of the evidence is so disastrous that one person has already begged for (and received) a special removal of damaging footage from our upcoming Cruise Picture CD. As I write, Gary Richardson is editing over 1,000 pictures from the trip. He reports record numbers of inquiries from people wondering what it would cost them to "edit out" certain other pictures as well.

Let's just put it this way - the hot tub was way out of control. I am not going to write one more thing about it until I see the pictures. And why do I have to wait for the pictures? Because I was too afraid to go anywhere near that whirling, sizzling radioactive center of sin while aboard the ship. Marla dropped by one day only to be so shocked she didn't have the courage to return.

Yes, this was definitely a wild trip.

And did we have fun? Oh my, we all had a wonderful time. I cannot begin to tell you all the nice things our guests said to Marla and me about what a great time they had. Some people have paid the ultimate compliment to Marla by asking her to arrange cruises for their own family. One man even inquired about taking his church singles group out to sea. One suggestion - keep them away from the hot tub.

Here is a date for you: Friday, October 6, 9 pm. That is when we will have our Post-Trip Wrap-up Party at the studio. Gary will unveil all the pictures from the trip and present them as a slide show for the whole world to see. Everyone is welcome to come sit and watch the pictures whether you were on the trip or not. After all, it is Friday Night Western Dancing. You can dance a while, then watch pictures for a while, then go dance some more.

Please note if you were on this year's trip, the party is "on the house". Last year's party went way past midnight and was quite an affair. The main reason for our cruise passengers to attend is to find out as soon as possible what pictures might be out there for them to worry about.  In other words, they need to be there in self-defense. 

Let me add that last year's Post-Trip Party involved amazing fun just listening to what
each person had to say as they tried to defend themselves when certain pictures raised eyebrows.  


On Saturday, September 16, we had over 100 people attend our Kool Kat Ballroom Party. It was a phenomenal turnout

seemed to have a great time dancing Tango, Swing, Cha Cha, Rumba, Foxtrot, and Waltz. Even as we approached closing time, there were still dozens of people dancing.

For those of you who have read my suggestions that the time to learn more about Ballroom Dancing is "NOW" and turned out last Saturday to see things for yourselves, I want to personally thank you. I cannot remember having more fun dancing at a party than that one.

For the record, the next Ballroom Party will be in early November. I will remind you in the next Newsletter.



After the sudden simultaneous resignation of three of our Swing teachers in July (Patty O, Krista, Gloria), I was left in shock. Nothing awful happened to cause the move. One of them decided it was time to move on and the other two decided it wouldn't be as much fun without their buddy, so it was time to follow her out the door.

This unexpected blow left me scrambling. Losing three-quarters of your Swing Staff has a way of knocking the wind out of you. I immediately turned to the only person who could bail me out of this fix - Maureen Brunetti.  Maureen graciously agreed to come back to the Swing Program and teach two nights a week.

Thank goodness Maureen's friend Steve Gabino stuck around as well. Not only has he continued to teach his Monday class, but he has subbed on Sundays several times and given invaluable help in building new Swing syllabi.

And thank goodness Jack Benard has returned. Jack has given us a wonderful shot in the arm just when we needed it. Like Maureen, Jack took up the slack left by the departure of the Three Dancing Caballeros by teaching Swing two nights a week.

And Marla Archer said she would pitch in and help too.

That left us one teacher short.  It was time for me to teach East Coast Swing again. Although I was reluctant to give up teaching Tango on Sundays, I didn't have much choice.

That said, to my surprise I have found out how much fun it is to teach Swing again.

Very few people have been around long enough to know that I was actually the studio's lead Swing teacher for the first seventeen years of the studio's history. Seventeen years is a long time, but on the other hand I haven't taught any Swing since around 1994 which was twelve years ago. To most people, I am a "brand new Swing teacher".

My former wife Judy Archer became such an expert at Swing back in the 90s that I decided to hand the entire program over to her and let her run with it. She did a great job. However her legacy has run its course and now I am glad to be involved again.

Since my return, I have been giving the Swing program some thought. My first move was to add a brand new Swing class on Sundays at 430 pm. I did this as part of the upgrade in our Ballroom Program. If someone was taking Ballroom at 7 pm, this new class would allow them to come early on Sundays and learn Swing dancing at 430 pm as well as Ballroom at 7.  One trip for two dance classes would save time and gas.

After two months of observation, I have concluded this extra Swing class was a good idea… it allows for symmetry in the Swing program again with parallel classes being offered on both nights. It also allowed us to offer Advanced Swing Jitterbug on two nights again, a move that has been widely praised.

But you know me. I wasn't going to stop there.


By coincidence, Bryan Spivey's decision to return to college at night paid off with unexpected dividends. Bryan was forced to move his popular Martian Whip class to Mondays. I never would have guessed, but moving Martian Whip from Thursdays to Mondays has been a real blessing. The WCS energy on Monday has been phenomenal. His class had been successful on Thursdays, but on Mondays it became even more successful. Attendance nearly doubled overnight!

Furthermore, there has been a marvelous bounce from this move. Previously the East Coast Swing crowd rejected the Ballroom classes on Monday. And the Salsa people on Thursday have treated the Whip people as if they were from another planet (they are right by the way, we are all from Mars).

But now on Mondays, the East Coasters and the West Coasters love each other. Every Monday I see many of my Whip class students scoot down to Room One for some east coast swing dancing at Break and at Practice Night and I see the East Coast crowd drooling when they come down to check out the Whip dancing.

Finally we have some great synergy on Monday nights. I could not be more pleased!

However, the newfound popularity of Monday Martian Whip presents a looming problem.

As I said, moving Bryan and Lisa Palmer's Martian class to Monday Night has given that class a real shot in the arm. In September Martian had 30 "paid" people plus five or six staff members as well. We also have a strong crop of up and coming new dancers. If the Martian Whip class continues to grow as I expect, realistically they will outgrow their room and we will have nowhere to put them unless Room 1 becomes available.

Therefore, starting in November, we are going back to six rooms on Monday. We will move Martian Whip to Room One and every class will have its own room. I don't think anyone will miss using that curtain we used to divide Room One into two sections.

And losing the curtain will have an important symbolic effect: Moving back to six rooms on Mondays will be the "final curtain call" making the end of the former Swing era.


Once upon a time, we had a super-advanced Swing program known as Zoot Suit Riot. I doubt there will be any more Zoot Suit classes. Those days are over. Taking its place, I would like to have six Advanced Jitterbug levels with a parallel class on Sunday and Monday. Each level will be offered twice a year. It shouldn't be that hard. After all, we once had 7 Zoot Suit levels!

For starters, we will offer Advanced Jitterbug IV in October. We will then create Adv Jitt V for November and Adv Jitt VI for December.

The recent increase of interest in Swing Dancing owes much of its resurgence to the new interest in Ballroom Dancing in general.


As I reported last month, starting in January 2007, Dakota Wilhelm will begin teaching an Advanced Ballroom class known as "ACCELERATED BALLROOM". This class will be open to anyone who demonstrates proficiency in the six major Ballroom dances (Swing, Foxtrot, Waltz, Rumba, Tango, Cha Cha).

In preparation for the start of this program, in September and throughout the Fall, we will begin teaching Intermediate and Advanced Ballroom classes. Slowly but surely, the old system of offering Beginning, Intermediate, and Advanced sections of one dance at a time will be phased out.

I proposed that everyone take a good look at Ballroom Dancing. After all, Ballroom Dance is where it all began. Western, Salsa, and Swing are all offshoots of Ballroom Dancing.

What is unique about Ballroom Dancing is the emphasis on Romance. The music is sometimes haunting, sometimes sexy, and sometimes beautiful. The appeal of Ballroom Dancing is that there is always a man and woman wrapped in each other's arms expressing that music in extraordinarily graceful ways through the individual dances.

Many SSQQ students are reaching the same stage of life as me - a time when words like "Romance", "Sophistication", "Style", and "Beauty" begin to acquire an increased appreciation. I have already discovered that Ballroom Dancing embraces each of these words and allows people to express them through dance.

I would be deeply grateful if all of you would read my article on Ballroom Dancing here at SSQQ. I think it is time to take Ballroom Dancing to the next level here at SSQQ. By the way, this article includes an unusual story about my first-ever Ballroom Dance class. You may be curious to read how the future owner of the largest dance studio in the country was totally humiliated in his very night of Real World Ballroom Dancing. Good story.




And now for the bad news - Yes, tuition is rising in January. Due to increased costs in our Common Area Maintenance fees, our rent has risen over a thousand dollars a month in just two years! I protested the most recent surcharge and received a letter from their attorney telling me to pay up or else.

I suppose I could contest the costs in court, but based on previous experience, I find the only ones who win are the lawyers. So I threw in the towel and paid the increases.

I wrote a story about the CAM dispute to explain the reasons behind the rent increase.

I included the incident where a Doberman almost bit Bryan Spivey. All in all, this story will explain why I often come to the studio with a frown on my face.




Doors open at 9 pm. Cover charge is $15.

Of all the many things we do at SSQQ, the studio is probably more famous for its Halloween Party than anything else. As they say, our Halloween Party is a "Tradition". This year's party is our 29th in the series. That, folks, is a lot of Halloween Parties.

So why is our party so much fun?

For starters, many of the costumes that our guests wear are phenomenal. We take a picture of each guest and add it to our web site. Who wants to be seen in a crummy outfit? As a result, people actually put some thought and effort into their costumes and it pays off. The costumes are always fabulous.

Second, we have an excellent Haunted House. It may be an "amateur production", but our Haunted House is definitely creepy. What makes it so scary is that we keep the room pitch dark. Then we pump up eerie music from movies like "The Exorcist" and "Halloween" to make sure your nerves get on edge. And you never know just who or whom you might meet in the Haunted House. By the way, no fair cheating by turning on a flashlight. No one's going to get hurt so be brave and grope your way through just like everyone else. What's Halloween without a thrill?



Third, we have the Monster Mash Line Dance, plus Thriller and many other favorite line dances to entertain both the dancers and the spectators.

Nothing makes people laugh harder than the goofy Monster Mash at our party.  If you would to read the story about where it came from, click MONSTER MASH

By the way, if you would like to learn these dances in advance, we are teaching them for free at the studio. Here is the schedule: We will teach the Halloween Party Line Dances starting Friday, Oct 20, 6-7 pm. We skip Saturday the 21st. Sunday the 22nd will be 6:30-7 pm. Then we will have them every day from Monday thru Friday, Oct 23-Oct 27, always from 6-7 pm. These dances are impossible to learn on the spot, so please join us in advance!! The lessons are free. Just show up. Everyone is welcome whether you are signed up for an October class or not. By the way, don't worry about looking bad. These are the only set of line dances on earth where if you look bad, everyone thinks you are terrific.

Fourth, we have a marvelous light show provided by our friend George Grega and his GJG Productions Company. The eerie strobes fill up Room 1 throughout the evening to enhance the pleasure of your dancing.

Fifth, we decorate the studio lavishly. There are monsters everywhere just watching your every move. And not all of them are paper cutouts either…

Best of all there are so many people to dance with and have fun with! Attendance is always over 200 people and two years ago we almost reached 300. This party is always a guaranteed hit.

As always the music will include a mixture of Western and Swing music in Room One plus a Tango and Waltz or two, Whip music in Room Four, and Salsa music in Room Five. With great dance music and the infectious energy of the night, the dancing is fast and furious all night long.

This is a great party. Don't miss it!

PS - If you would like to see pictures of last year's party and read about the history of previous SSQQ Halloween Parties, visit

By the way, Good News - Bellaire Assistant Police Chief Byron Holloway has agreed to patrol our parking lot again this year. Chief Holloway has been on the SSQQ Halloween Beat for half a dozen years now. No matter how crazy our party gets, it is wonderful to know we will always be safe with him around. Thanks to his careful eye, we have never had an incident in the parking lot. Your cars are safe, our doors are safe, he makes sure patrol cars come through the parking lot on a regular basis, and literally keeps the place peaceful. Chief Holloway is the reason we can have fun because he keeps an eye out for us. He is also nice enough to give us permission to use the "Forbidden Side" of First Street for extra parking. We are very fortunate to have Chief Holloway as our friend. Be sure to thank him every chance you get before and after the party. His continued presence is a big reason our party is so successful.


Each year the decorations get more elaborate. As a result, we have to start decorating a day early. Whatever we don't finish on Friday, we can do the rest on Saturday. Including the Haunted House, we decorate four different rooms.

Anyone who is free during the day on that Friday is invited to join us at the studio for the big project. This is strictly a volunteer labor of love, but if you promise to stick around for four hours, we will treat you to lunch and make sure you come to the Halloween Party as our guest. To participate, just show up!



Remember - if you miss the first week of class, you can always start in the second week. The Second Week Review will catch you up.

Special classes for October include:

1. INTERMEDIATE SWING/JITTERBUG returns to Sundays at 4:30 pm with Jack Benard. As we announced last month, we are upgrading our Ballroom Dance program. Of the six major Ballroom Dances we concentrate on, Swing is by far the most popular and practical dance of them all. Consequently we teach Swing separate from the other 5 Ballroom Dances but at the same time - Sundays at 7 pm. At the request of several Ballroom students, Jack has begun a three-month Swing program on Sundays at 4:30. This way a student can take Swing on Sundays at 4:30, then stay for their Ballroom class at 7 pm.

2. SUPER GHOST TOWN 5. Scott and Cher will be teaching Ghost Town 5 this month on Sundays at 4:30 pm. Then Scott will teach the exact same Ghost Town on Fridays as well. In other words, for the first time in the history of the studio, we will have a parallel Ghost Town.

I made this move because our students requested it. They said the material was tough to hang onto since the class moved so fast. Now if you miss one day, you can make it up on the other. Clever patterns in this Ghost Town: Octopus, Rattlesnake, Rodeo Romeo, and Windstorm.

In addition Scott is likely to throw in a bonus pattern as well!.

3. At 7 pm on Sundays, Dakota continues his FOUR-MONTH TANGO class with INTERMEDIATE TANGO. This class will advance one level each month through December. This class was incredibly popular in September with 70 people sign up for it! The energy is phenomenal.

4. BEGINNING BALLROOM on Sundays at 7 will cover TANGO, CHA CHA, AND SWING this month. Jill Banta will be the teacher.

5. INTERMEDIATE BALLROOM on Sundays at 7 will cover FOXTROT, WALTZ, AND RUMBA. Marla Archer will be the teacher.

6. Our first ADVANCED BALLROOM class makes it debut on Sundays at 7 in October. Taught by Jack Benard, it will cover ADVANCED TANGO AND CHA CHA patterns. As we have previously reported, we are using the Fall classes at SSQQ to prepare for Dakota's ACCELERATED BALLROOM program which makes its debut in January 2007. You can read more about this at

7. Quick reminder that we will no longer be teaching SLOW DANCE as a regular four-week group class. That said, there are special occasions like the First Dance at a wedding, a fancy New Years Eve party, a romantic standard at the Captain's Reception on a cruise, or a sultry torch song at a nightclub where the ability to Slow Dance would sure come in handy. If you are getting married or would simply like to learn to Slow Dance, Marla Archer can teach you SLOW DANCE, WALTZ, or FOXTROT in a private lesson. Contact her at marla@ssqq.com

Marla teaches an average of 5 private lessons a week to couples who need to learn how to Slow Dance, Foxtrot, or Waltz at their Wedding Reception. If you know someone who needs to prepare for this important moment, read Marla's story about her Wedding Dance experiences, please visit: http://ssqq.com/information/weddings.htm

8. Rick Archer debuts the first-ever ADVANCED SWING JITTERBUG LEVEL 4 on Sundays at 7 pm. This class will also be offered with Jack Benard on Mondays at 7 pm.

9. On Mondays in October, Maureen Brunetti brings back one of the favorite Swing classes in studio history with SWING CHARLESTON II. Please note this is an Advanced class, so if you are a beginner, steer clear. However if you are an experienced Swing dancer, but missed her previous class last month, you can still join this month's LEVEL II.

10. As we reported last month, Bryan and Lisa's MARTIAN WHIP has moved to Mondays. This turned out to be a very popular move as 40 people signed up in August and September. Not only did they love the class, Monday Night Whip Practice became a serious rocking event. The class is growing so fast that we will be moving it to Room One in November. If you are an advanced Whip and West Coast Swing dancer, this is the place to be on Mondays!

11. Tuesday Salsa is phenomenal. Each Tuesday, there is a Beginning, Intermediate, and Advanced Salsa class that average 80 to 100 people in each class. In particular, Steve & Danielle conduct their elite Advanced Salsa class each Tuesday. The Tuesday Salsa Practice Night hosted by Linda Cook is smokin'.

12. Sharon Crawford-Shaw continues her three-month Western Cha Cha class with INTERMEDIATE WESTERN CHA CHA on Wednesdays at 7 pm.

13. Rick teaches Ghost Town One in October. Call it "Ghost Town Lite" or "Training Wheels Ghost Town" since this class is only slightly harder than our Advanced Western Swing classes.

14. Martian Technique resurfaced on Thursdays in September, and now we continue this class in October. Martian Technique is an advanced program for the graduates of our Basic Beginner thru Lunar program. It moves faster than Lunar Whip, but nowhere near as fast as Martian Whip. It is a place where the classes are small and we can concentrate on polishing your skills while adding new material. This month Rick teaches more of his beloved ROCK AND GO/ALTERNATING TRIPLES class on Thursdays!

15. Rick and Cher will teach BEGINNING WESTERN WALTZ on Friday. Western Waltz is considered the "Romantic" Western dance. The stakes being what they are, no sensible man should ignore this important dance! The moves are quite graceful and the music is very pretty.

16. Willie Bushnell has Rhythm and Blues Twostep, also known as Swing Out, starting on Saturday at 430. A partner dance that is popular in African-American nightclubs, R&B Twosteppin' is a partner dance similar to Zydeco. The man and woman first dance in closed position, then the man "swings her out".

17. At the request of many Salsa students, Bjorn and Rebeca Bangstein have moved their Saturday Salsa Explosion on Saturdays to 2:00 pm. This has turned out to be a great move. Not only did they have 40 students in their class, they all had plenty of room to dance! This move allowed students to take both the Explosion class and the 4:30 Advanced Salsa class back to back.

Saturday, October 14, Noon to 1:30 pm $12   (to register, just show up!)

At the request of her students who love her, Salsa Dancer Extraordinaire Rebeca Bangstein has agreed to teach a Salsa Styling Workshop. Sorry, guys, but this one is Ladies Only. You can't even pay to watch.

Spinning, spotting, hip motions that would make Shakira blush, arm movements, and maybe even some pouty expressions will turn each lady from a meek, unnoticed body taking up space on the floor into the hottest, most dangerous woman on the floor.  Ladies, be ready to accept the consequences - take this class at your own risk!

Incidentally, Rebeca would like to announce her new Salsa Cardio Exercise Class, which will start in November. It will be held every Saturday from noon to 1 pm. We will have more information about the class in our next Newsletter, but now you know to keep your eyes posted for more news!


Saturday, September 23rd
9:15 pm - 11:30 pm
Cover charge $7

$14 Person, $22 Couple



Party at a Glance:

Dress: Dress Hoedown or Expect a Showdown


Saturday, October 14th
9:15 pm - Midnight
Cover charge $7

$14 Person, $22 Couple

ZYDECO - Ronnie


Party at a Glance:
Music: Salsa in Room 1
Dress White and Dance all Night!


Story submitted by Rick Archer

Editor's Note: Every day I am greeted by anywhere from one to two hundred spam emails. Once in a while, the title is so absurd that I can't resist taking a peek. I am always amazed at how ridiculous the pitches are. Not even the STUPIDEST MORON on the planet would fall for these traps. Or would they?

After shaking my head in disgust, the next thought that rolls into my head is "why do they even bother?" I mean, how on earth can anyone convert this nonsense into any real money? So I hit the 'delete' key in smug satisfaction at the total futility of their efforts and go about my day.

Given my mindset, you can imagine that I read the following story with total incredulity. At one point, the Spam King was said to be making over half a million dollars a month sending out Spam. Half a mil a month! Are you out of your mind!!? You gotta be kidding, right? Well, maybe they weren't kidding. This story left me dumbfounded. Read it for yourself.

Aug. 16, 2006, 12:57PM
Associated Press

WASHINGTON - Dig this: AOL believes a renegade Internet spammer buried gold and platinum on his family's property in Massachusetts and wants to bring in bulldozers to search for the treasure and satisfy a $12.8 million judgment it won in federal court.

The family says it knows nothing about any buried treasure and will fight AOL's gold-digging plans.

The Internet company said it intends to search for bars of gold and platinum that AOL believes are hidden near the home of Davis Wolfgang Hawke's parents on two acres in Medfield, Mass., and near his grandparents' home in nearby Westwood.

Hawke's ex-girlfriend, Patricia Lingenfelter, told investigators he confided to her that he had once buried cash in his mother's garden. She called Hawke "fundamentally lazy" and said she believes he likely buried gold on the property owned by his parents and grandparents, according to court records unsealed today in the case.

AOL won a $12.8 million judgment against Hawke last year in U.S. District Court in Virginia but has been unable to contact him to collect any of the money he was ordered to pay. AOL accused Hawke of violating U.S. and Virginia anti-spam laws by sending massive amounts of unwanted e-mails to its subscribers. It won its case in a default judgment against Hawke, who didn't show up in court.

"I don't care if they dig up the entire yard. They're just going to make fools of themselves," said Peggy Greenbaum, Hawke's mother. "There's absolutely no reason for them to think that Davis Hawke would be stupid enough to bury gold on our property. My son is long gone." Lingenfelter, the ex-girlfriend, said Hawke buried cash but worried it would be damaged by water. She said he regularly left alone on overnight hiking trips carrying a fireproof safe and shovel, but he never confided where he buried his loot.

"I would ask him and then he would give me the same thing. 'It's none of your business. It's mine,'" she said.

At the height of Hawke's Internet activities, experts believe, Hawke and his partners earned more than $600,000 each month - much of it cash - by sending unwanted sales pitches over the Internet for loans, pornography, jewelry and prescription drugs.

The head of J.J. Teaparty Inc. of Boston, Miles Coggan, told AOL's lawyers that Hawke bought $350,879.50 worth of gold from the company between August 2003 and March 2004, court papers said. Hawke told Coggan he earned the money "selling pills on the Internet," Coggan told lawyers. "They were millionaires, if only briefly," said Brian McWilliams, a journalist who interviewed Hawke and wrote extensively about him in "Spam Kings," a 2004 book about e-mail spammers. McWilliams said Hawke lived a nomadic life as an adult, eschewed luxuries and described burying his valuables.

"Hawke lived like a pauper really," McWilliams said. "He drove a beater of a used car, an old cop car. He never owned a house or anything." Greenbaum said her husband and father intend to challenge AOL's plans to dig on their property and search their two-story, 3,000-square-foot home in a wooded residential area of Medfield, a small town about 20 miles southwest of Boston. She said AOL's lawyer notified the family that the company intends to use bulldozers and geological teams to hunt for gold and platinum on their property.

In court papers, Hawke's grandfather told AOL's lawyers, "I have no interest in helping people find him." But Robert J. Davis said he knew nothing about any gold buried on his land. He described his grandson as highly intelligent but allowed he was "maybe not great on common sense." Greenbaum said she has not talked with her son in more than a year and complained about the embarrassment and humiliation he brought to the family. Greenbaum said the family believes Hawke buried gold in the White Mountains 130 miles north of Boston.
She said he once confided to her that he used proceeds from sending Internet spam to buy gold - rather than expensive homes or cars - because it would be more difficult to seize in lawsuits. She told AOL's lawyers that Hawke once quipped that people will need to dig up five states to find his money. "We don't know where is he," she said. "We certainly wouldn't allow him to put any gold on our property."

AOL said it will try to accommodate Hawke's parents by not being too obtrusive.

"The dig isn't something out of "Treasure Island," AOL spokesman Nicholas Graham said. "This is a court-directed, judge-approved legal process that is simply aimed at responsibly recovering hidden assets." To win a judge's permission for the search, AOL submitted receipts reflecting large purchases by Hawke of gold and platinum bars, Graham said. The company indicated it believes Hawke buried the loot on his parents' property using a shovel.

Contributed by Phyllis Porter

(3/28/06 - NEW DELHI, India) - Village elders ordered a Muslim man in eastern India to leave his wife after he accidentally divorced her in his sleep, a news report said Tuesday.

Aftab Ansari uttered the Urdu word for divorce, "talaq," three times in his sleep, prompting his worried wife to discuss the matter with her friends, according to the Press Trust of India news agency.

Under Islamic law, a husband need only say "I divorce you" three times to secure a permanent end to his marriage.

Muslim leaders in the couple's village in West Bengal state found out and decreed that Ansari's unconscious utterances constituted a divorce, PTI reported.

But 30-year-old Ansari said he had no intention of leaving his wife of 11 years.

"I have not given talaq. When I uttered talaq three times I had taken medicines to help me sleep," he was quoted as saying in the report.

The religious leaders said that before remarrying, the couple would have to be apart for at least 100 days and that the wife, Sohela, would also have to spend a night with another man and then be divorced by him.

PTI reported that the couple has been ostracized because of their refusal to abide by the decision of the village leaders.

(Editor's Note: Normally I would add something clever about what I think of the Islamic Law cited in this instance were I not terrified I would be burned by Muslims or poisoned by my American wife.)

Aug. 16, 2006, 12:57PM
By Quame Mbuto
Reuters news service

Nairobi, Kenya - In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large thorn deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For several tense moments Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged son Tapu. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Mbembe was overtaken with an unusual combination of fear and love. He hesitated, then summoned up his courage and climbed over the railing to the gasps of the other onlookers. Jumping down, Mbembe made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared at the giant animal in wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

(Gotcha. Thanks to Patty Jones for sharing that touching story with us.)


As you will read in future Newsletters, Gary Richardson was the co-MVP of our recent Rhapsody Reloaded Cruise Trip. Not only did he make a lot of people happy by conducting late-night dancing aboard the Rhapsody attended by as many as 70 people at 1 am in the morning, he took a phenomenal number of pictures that will soon be published on the SSQQ web site. His contributions went way past anything we had the right to expect of him. He did it for one reason - Gary loves to make people happy.

Gary and I have had a special friendship for years. He has been a huge part of the studio's success in so many ways, but most of all he has been my computer guru for the past eight years.

Back in August, Gary emailed me to say he had sold another SSQQ computer to our Wonderful Western dance instructor Rachel Koenig. Gary likes to keep track of who he sells his computers to, especially if they are from SSQQ. Rachel's computer was the 110th computer he has sold to someone from SSQQ. This remarkable total means that over the years he has averaged selling over one a month to someone from SSQQ!

I emailed Rachel the following letter:

"Rachel, I own 20 TFW computers. Btw you and me, I could save a couple dollars buying one over the counter somehow.

That said, I would have no way of knowing the quality of my computer because I am sure the transaction would be made with some anonymous person who will be gone in two months.

Even more important, what I could never buy in a million years would be the kindness and unfailing help he and his staff have given me over the past eight years. If you ever run into a computer problem - he will have your back.

That is why I keep going back to him.

Gary is my friend and I thank you for trusting him."

Rachel emailed back:

-----Original Message-----
From: Rachel Seff Koenig, Ed.D.
Sent: Monday, August 21, 2006 12:21 PM
To: Rick Archer
Subject: Re: your new Gary computer

"Yep - I agree that Gary is great.

We lost power at our house with a bad storm a couple of weeks ago and ever since then, our 5-year old Gateway computer has been on the fritz.

Dave brought it in to Gary over the weekend and it turns out the motherboard was fried... Dave said Gary was really, really helpful.

But more importantly, Gary is going to be able to save all of our data and files, including all of the pics of baby Zach! Thanks! Rachel"


Here is the list of people from SSQQ who have bought computers from Gary:
Gary Richardson's TFW Computers


Sept. 13, 2006, 6:19PM

By PAT GRAHAM AP Sports Writer
© 2006 The Associated Press

GREELEY, Colo. - In a scenario reminiscent of Tonya Harding vs. Nancy Kerrigan, the backup punter at Northern Colorado has been accused of stabbing his rival in the leg, that is, his kicking leg.

Mitch Cozad, a sophomore from Wheatland, Wyo., allegedly attacked Rafael Mendoza in a parking lot this week. Arrested on a charge of second-degree assault, Cozad was freed Wednesday on a $30,000 bond.

Mendoza, who was treated and released at a Greeley hospital, will miss at least Saturday's game at Texas State.

"Rafael is a competitor and wants to get back as soon as he can," said head coach Scott Downing. "When that occurs, I don't know."

The incident conjured up images of the rivalry between figure skaters Harding and Kerrigan. Harding was banned from the sport for life after her former husband hired a hit man to smack Kerrigan on the knee with a crowbar.

"I guess the only identified motive (in the attack on Mendoza) at this point in time is the competition for that position," Evans police Lt. Gary Kessler said.

But Downing wasn't so sure.

Cozad and Mendoza, a junior from the Denver suburb of Thornton, were competitive, he said, but no more than players at other positions.

"No different than starting quarterback or starting right tackle," he said. "Everyone was held accountable to the same level."

Asked if there was any jealousy between the two players, he said, "I have no idea. That would all be conjecture."

Cozad was suspended from the university and the team and was evicted from his dorm room, said director of athletics Jay Hinrichs. Cozad had no listed phone number in Greeley, and a phone message left at his Wyoming address was not immediately returned.

The stabbing took place Monday in Evans, a small town adjacent to Greeley and about 50 miles north of Denver. The Greeley Tribune first reported the story in Wednesday's editions.

Kessler said Mendoza, averaging 37.6 yards per punt on nine punts in the two games, was attacked from behind and stabbed in his right thigh after parking his car outside his Evans apartment about 9:30 p.m.

The assailant fled in a black Dodge Charger, Kessler said. About 10 minutes after the attack, a liquor store clerk told police that two men in a car matching that description stopped outside the store, stripped tape off the license plate and drove away.

The clerk gave police the license number, and the car was traced to Cozad, who was arrested Tuesday, Kessler said.


In September my friends Roger Lee and Wendy Zhang announced their engagement. Congratulations!


We had nine winners who were able to solve the Zodiac Nudist Colony Logic Puzzle. I was so impressed!!

2006 September: The Zodiac Couples

1. Randy Piniola (7 months in a row!)
2. Cherie Maddox (First Time Winner)
3. Jonathan Bish (First Time Winner)
4. Kim Rynearson (First Time Winner)
5. Mara Rivas (3 months in a row!)
6. Ann Faget (33 months in a row!)
7. Anita Leung (15 months in a row!)
8. Susan Arevalo (32 months in a row!)
9. Ritesh Laud (25 months in a row!)


The four siblings of the Brown family - two brothers and two sisters - liked to do different activities together.

One month they decided to take dance lessons at SSQQ. All four people loved their lessons and decided to stick with it. Amazingly, over the course of the next year, each of the 4 siblings met their future spouse while taking lessons here at the studio.

Not surprisingly, the four 'outsiders' blended in beautifully with the Brown siblings. As a result, all four couples grew very close and enjoyed every opportunity to get together.

On one occasion, three of the couples got together at the dance studio to celebrate the anniversary of the fourth couple.

The three couples that were not having an anniversary each brought a different gift certificate for the special couple (one gift was a Tango lesson).

From the following clues can you find the full names of all 4 couples (one husband is Rick, and two last names are Black and White), identify the couple having the anniversary, and determine which present each of the other couples brought?

Think you can solve it? If you want to give it a try, here's the link:



Carol Gafford sent in the most amazing photos of computers of the future that you can carry in your pocket. You have to see it to believe it!


PS - No, it is not a joke. Promise.  This is on the level



Gary Richardson sent in some of the most beautiful pictures of China I have ever seen.


(Story submitted by Jacqueline Chang)

From the Wall Street Journal
Thursday, August 3, 2006

Pursuit of Ballroom Glory:
Banker Now Regards $15.4 Million Lessons As a Serious Misstep/  Ms. Wong Sues Dance Coach Who Called Her 'a Cow'

August 3, 2006; Page A1

HONG KONG -- As the top Asia private banker for HSBC Holdings PLC, Mimi Monica Wong knows how to make wealth last. But these days, she is better known for the millions she lost perfecting her rumba.

Two years ago, Ms. Wong agreed to pay $15.4 million for eight years of unlimited Latin-dance instruction. About half of that sum she paid up front, in cash. The 61-year-old widow recently said she was "looking for the last bit of glory in life."

But the arrangement soured even before it took effect.

Now Ms. Wong is suing her dance instructors in a Hong Kong court seeking the return of her $8 million pre-payment. The instructors, 15-time world Latin dance champion Gaynor Fairweather, of the U.K., and her Italian husband Mirko Saccani, are countersuing for the $7.4 million outstanding under the agreement.

Hong Kong has no shortage of big spenders. Home to some of Asia's great fortunes, the city of about seven million boasts the most Rolls-Royces per capita in the world. Yet even here, the equivalent of $5,000 a day for eight years is a lot to pay for dance lessons.

"It's just ridiculous," says Keith McNab, an Argentine tango instructor in Hong Kong who charges about $70 an hour. "No one could actually take enough lessons to make it worth it."

In a letter to a local newspaper, a Hong Kong civil servant said such sums could inspire a career change. "Ladies, I am now available to give dancing lessons," wrote John Shanahan, a senior officer at the city's anticorruption watchdog. "Payments are accepted in advance. Pole dancing costs extra."

But for many women in high-society Hong Kong, dancing is serious business. At glitzy charity balls, Chinese tycoons sometimes turn into wallflowers as their wives dip and twirl in the arms of a paid partner -- often a younger Western man. Among this crowd, it's not uncommon to fork over $500 for an afternoon social event called a "tea dance."

Hong Kong has "some of the craziest prices in the world," says Walter Wat, president of the Hong Kong Ballroom Dancing Council.

The sums approach the stratosphere when a dancer hits the international "pro-am" circuit, where aspiring amateur dancers, mostly female, take part in competitions with professional partners. Daily lessons are necessary to master the five dances that make up competitive Latin ballroom -- cha-cha, rumba, samba, jive and paso doble. There are also travel expenses, entry fees and the cost of costumes for two.

It was this kind of dancing that grabbed Ms. Wong. She rose to the top, just as she had in private banking, and she loved it. "It's like, you know, winning Wimbledon," she said in a recorded conversation with a friend that was referred to in court. Ms. Wong, Ms. Fairweather and Mr. Saccani all declined to comment for this article.

Off the dance floor, Ms. Wong has an impressive rιsumι. A graduate of Columbia University, she worked her way up HSBC, the world's biggest bank by assets, to become head of its private banking business in Asia. The daughter of a Hong Kong shipping magnate, Ms. Wong is known for her composure, elegance and perfectionism at any cost.

In 2000, Ms. Wong began taking lessons from Ms. Fairweather, who ruled the Latin dance world for 15 years with her then-partner Donnie Burns. The pair is credited with injecting a new flair to the form, and for slowing down the samba to allow for more swagger, according to Hong Kong dance teachers. For their service to dance, each was awarded an Order of the British Empire, a lesser honor than knighthood.

Under Ms. Fairweather's tutelage, Ms. Wong increasingly devoted herself to dancing. Often she would dash away from work at lunch for two hours of lessons, only to put in two more at the end of the day, according to statements made in court. Ms. Fairweather would labor over her student's dress designs, drawing floral patterns and hiring seamstresses to affix hundreds of Swarovski crystal beads, she testified in court. "To me, she was everything," the 49-year-old Ms. Fairweather told the court.

After two years of instruction with just Ms. Fairweather, Mr. Saccani became part of the package. According to court statements, Mr. Saccani instigated longer-term contracts with Ms. Wong for greater and greater sums, paid well in advance. After he began instructing Ms. Wong, according to court testimony, he bought a Ferrari.

In 2002, Ms. Wong paid $135,000 for a fixed number of lessons and competitions. Shortly afterward, she shelled out $1.3 million for a two-year package of unlimited lessons until 2004.

The work paid off. With Mr. Saccani as her partner at the 2003 Emerald Ball Dancesport Championships in Los Angeles, Ms. Wong won the title of "Top Gold Lady."

On top of what she had spent already, Ms. Wong then agreed to pay $15.4 million over eight years for exclusive access to Ms. Fairweather's and Mr. Saccani's services.

Ms. Wong swallowed the high prices because "she was desperate to continue and could not bear to throw away all her hard work," according to her closing statement to the court.

What upended the multimillion-dollar dance partnership was an incident on a Wednesday afternoon in August of 2004. At the Li Hua restaurant, a favorite afternoon dance venue, Ms. Wong and a group of other women were taking part in a mock competition.

That day, the banker was heavier in her step than usual, according to statements in court. In front of fellow dancers, Mr. Saccani shouted at her to "move your arse," and called Ms. Wong a "lazy cow," according to court documents.

Other dance teachers testified his verbal abuse contained threats of physical violence. Instructor Philip Redmond told the court he heard Mr. Saccani say, "If you do it again, Monica, I'll smash your head against the wall." Mr. Saccani denies having said anything beyond some "motivational" language, though he admits to shouting expletives at her.

Two days later, she cut short another practice session. That night, in the taped conversation submitted to the court, she told a friend that the money involved was "stupid," "crazy" and "completely out of hand." The two sides fell out further over the following days and Ms. Wong quickly won a court order to freeze the bank accounts of her instructors.

Ms. Fairweather and Mr. Saccani say they remain ready to fulfill the terms of the contract. "It's not fair to have such love and work put into a person and one day she's not there," Ms. Fairweather told the court.

The publicity around Ms. Wong's case hasn't been good for a private banker, a job that prizes discretion, other bankers say. However, HSBC stands behind its banker, and after a brief leave of absence to attend the two-week hearing, she is back at work helping Asia's wealthy plan their financial future. A judgment in the court case is expected later this summer.

At night, there is still the cha-cha. Ms. Wong has a new instructor, whom she is paying, according to statements in court, $21,000 a month.


(Editor's Note: As an interesting footnote, Jackie Chang, the lady who sent in the original story, "googled" around and located this extra picture of Ms. Wong.  Now you can see the "lazy cow" for yourself in action with Mr. Saccani.  She looks pretty light on her feet to me, but then you can't trust anything you see on the Internet, can you?)


By Clare Cheung

Sept. 6 (Bloomberg) -- HSBC Holdings Plc banker Mimi Monica Wong won a Hong Kong lawsuit seeking the return of HK$60 million ($7.7 million) in fees she paid for Latin dance lessons.

``They took her money, for services in the future which she would never take up,'' Deputy High Court Judge Gerard Muttrie said in a 59-page written judgment today.

Wong had sued her Latin dance teachers Mirko Saccani and his wife Gaynor Fairweather for the return of the fees, part of a HK$120 million advance payment. He humiliated Wong in front of others at a practice session in August 2004. Media reports of the case made the 61-year-old head of HSBC's private banking unit in Asia a household name in the city.

Saccani, 31, admitted swearing and screaming at Wong at the practice session in Hong Kong's Li Hua Restaurant, and calling her a ``lazy cow'' to motivate her, according to the judgment.

Russell Coleman, a lawyer for the dance teachers, had told the court that jealousy and an emotional breakdown had led Wong to plan for an ``exit strategy'' for the return of the money after she found the audience's attention and applause were focused on another dancing couple at the practice session.

``I accept that Ms. Wong was humiliated by Mr. Saccani's treatment of her,'' Muttrie ruled. ``The conduct went much further than the motivational language she had accepted in the past,'' he said, rejecting the defendants' case that the contract couldn't be terminated without their consent.

The Judge also dismissed a counterclaim by the teachers for outstanding payments of $7.6 million. ``To seek to be paid 4 million pounds for services which will never be taken up is'' a ``windfall,'' he ruled. Coleman couldn't immediately be reached for comment.

Wong, who took two weeks off work for the trial from HSBC, Europe's largest bank by market value, will meet reporters at 4 p.m. today local time, according to a faxed statement from her legal adviser Herbert Smith.

``Ms. Wong is pleased that the dispute has been resolved in her favor. She hopes that this matter can be brought to an end as quickly as possible,'' the statement said.

Gareth Hewett, HSBC's Hong Kong-based spokesman, declined to comment on the case.

Wong, who agreed to pay the HK$120 million to the couple for eight years of unlimited dance lessons and competitions from 2004, has said she continues to be passionate about Latin dance and has a new teacher.

Her dance achievements include first prize in the over-50 age group at the Los Angeles Embassy competition in September 2002 and the ``Top Gold Lady'' award at the May 2003 Emerald competition in the same U.S. city.

``Ballroom dancing is a pastime enjoyed, I am told, by some very wealthy people in Hong Kong's high society,'' Muttrie noted in his judgment.

In the Asia-Pacific region, the number of millionaires rose 7.3 percent to 2.4 million last year, according to a Capgemini SA and Merrill Lynch & Co. report in June. That compares with a 6.9 percent increase to 2.9 million in North America and a 4.5 percent rise to 2.8 million in Europe.

Citigroup Inc. and UBS AG were the region's leading managers of personal wealth with $61 billion of assets under management each in 2004, according to a 2005 Credit Suisse Group report. HSBC ranked third with $39 billion.

The case is No. HCA2061/2004 in the Court of First Instance of the High Court.

Last Updated: September 6, 2006 03:22 EDT


From: Donna G
To: dance@ssqq.com
Cc: Jim and Karen B
Sent: Wednesday, August 30, 2006 3:00 PM
Subject: dance class refund


Last July, Jim & Karen B and Bill and Donna G decided to take a dance class together. Bill and I sort of knew how to country dance, but Jim was just learning. So, we decided to refresh our dancing and learn something new, and spend four delightful Fridays with our friends.

We signed up for Western Swing 2015AX on Fridays, starting August 11 through Leisure Learning. Jim enrolled both the Bs and the Gs through Leisure Learning and received all the paper work. However, at the first session, Bill G had a business meeting and was out of town. No problem as we were the more experienced and felt we could catch up the next week. However, when we attending on Friday, August 18, we were not in the class 10 minutes, not even enough time to switch to new partners, than one of your people (Addie?) told us we weren't good enough for the class and needed to go to the beginning Two Step Class. We were most distressed as we KNEW the two step; we only needed a few minutes to adjust our differences to your style. But we weren't given the opportunity. The purpose of taking the class; learning with our novice friends had been defeated.

We left and were told we could be reimbursed (I think it was Debbie?).

Since Jim B paid with his credit card for both Bill and me, it is his card that need reimbursing. I have cc'd this to Jim so he can respond with the necessary information concerning his card.

Donna G

-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Tuesday, September 19, 2006 2:30 PM
To: donna g
Subject: dance class refund

Donna, I just recently read your email for the first time.

The four of you had a nice idea: take a dance class with your spouses and friends. It sounds like fun to me and I wish things had worked out better.

But from the studio's point of view, the instructor most likely did the right thing by asking you to move back to the less challenging Beginning Twostep class.

Beginning Western Swing is a technical dance that requires a thorough knowledge of Twostep. Although people get misled by the title "Beginning", veteran dancers at SSQQ know it is actually more of an intermediate class that is based on previous knowledge of Twostep footwork, leads, and timing. In a sense, taking Western Swing without a strong basis of Twostep is like trying to run before you learn to walk. It is not fair to the class to slow things down while

Quote from your letter: "We were most distressed as we KNEW the two step; we only needed a few minutes to adjust our differences to your style."

Since I was not there, I am in no position to attest to the caliber of your Twostep.

This is what I do know: You yourself said, "Bill and I sort of knew how to country dance". You added, "Jim was just learning". Then you said that both couples completely missed the first week of class!

Not only were you a month behind the students in the Beginning Western Swing class, you were a complete week behind the class as well. Beginning Western Swing is no a walk in the park even for people who just finished the Twostep class and it is a very difficult class to catch up to.

In order for Group Classes to work, the skill level needs to be fairly homogenous. In this case, I imagine our instructor did the right thing for the sake of her class.

I too have sent people back to an easier level at various times. I don't do it often and I always do it with regret, but there is no point in ruining a class while some individual struggles in the process.

Unfortunately this sounds like a very awkward situation. The instructor had a class to teach and no previous rapport with you four people to know how to broach such a sensitive request. I completely understand how this directive could have been taken the wrong way. My regret in this instance was that I was not there to negotiate a compromise. This should have been something we could have worked out. For this I feel sorry.

However, realistically, we all have students waiting for us to teach. The needs of the group usually demand our immediate attention. The dark side is this doesn't leave much time for discussion.

I would love to have you try again. I will be more than happy to donate an hour of my time to catch you up, then let you start Beginning Western Swing in October.


-----Original Message-----
From: Donna G
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 12:14 AM
To: Rick Archer
Subject: complaint of the month dance class refund

Rick from SSQQ and Leisure Learning,

The two of you need to get the description of your classes straight. After my husband and I were dismissed from the Beginning Western Swing class after ten minutes in the class "because we did not have the skills" although my husband and I both have danced the two step together for years, I called Leisure Learning about a refund, and I was told by them that YOUR Class was to be a BEGINNING class and they had NEVER been told that the two-step was a pre-requisite, that SSQQ were to teach it as a beginning class. I have underlined the portion of this letter that states the opposite of what LL told me. How is a person suppose to know what class to take and still enjoy herself when both sides are telling two different stories?

So....I lost $14 for LL registration and then another $20 for dropping a class. I was out $34 because of this.

In RED, I have added my comments to some of your statements, Rick.

(This is what I do know: You yourself said, Bill and I sort of knew how to country dance . You added, Jim was just learning . Then you said that both couples completely missed the first week of class! No, only Bill and I missed the first class - not both couples. Jim and Karen were there.)

(Not only were you a month
(No, we were only a WEEK behind) behind the students in the Beginning Western Swing class, you were a complete week behind the class as well. Beginning Western Swing is no a walk in the park even for people who just finished the Twostep class and it is a very difficult class to catch up to.)

-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:52 AM
To: donna.g
Subject: RE: complaint of the month dance class refund

Ms. G wrote:

“Rick from SSQQ and Leisure Learning, The two of you need to get the description of your classes straight.”

My reply to your letter:

Ms. G,  I have absolutely no control over what other people say. What I do have control over is the written word. That said, I now beg to differ with your contention that Leisure Learning and SSQQ do not have our descriptions straight.

This quote below is taken directly from the LLU web site:

“Beginning Western Swing

Western Swing is also known as Two-Step with Turns. Men double turn the ladies as they Two-Step and Polka around the floor. The Western Swing is extremely popular because ladies love to spin and the men enjoy leading the intricate double patterns. Once you have learned to Two-Step, Western Swing is the next step up. Class size: 1-50.”

I invite you to go look for yourself: http://llu.com/2000.htm

I have already written to apologize to you for your inconvenience and I have also offered an hour of my personal time at no charge in a wasted attempt to be of service to you.

I thought you might appreciate my attempt to remedy the misunderstanding, but I guess not.

It appears instead you would rather debate points than accept my offer to give you what you signed up for: a chance to learn Western Swing.

Rick Archer


-----Original Message-----
From: chris
Sent: Saturday, September 16, 2006 3:17 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: website


I love taking classes with your school!! This is not the first time I have visited your website but your website seems to be getting worse. Having taken classes with your organization I can honestly say that your website does not capture the creativity, professionalism and experience that you offer.

I am part owner in a web design company. I humbly suggest that you look into their services or the services of any professional web development company to create the professional appearance you deserve.

Chris B

-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
Sent: Monday, September 18, 2006 9:33 AM
To: chris
Subject: website

I do the best I can. Considering I am a dance teacher, not a web designer, I suppose there is always room for improvement.

(Editor's Note: One thing that may cause a problem is screen settings. The SSQQ Web Site is set for a 1024 by 768 pixel screen resolution. Many people have their monitors set at 800 by 600. People with weakened vision prefer the 800 by 600 setting. If you are viewing the website in 800 by 600, I imagine the appearance of the web site could be garbled.)


Judy Walsh submitted the October Joke Picture. It is a picture of a bizarre boating accident where a cat is screaming bloody murder. You will just have to see it to understand.



I am taking another month off in the Jokes Department. But when I get around to it, I've got lots of great new jokes so stay tuned.

In the meantime, the Hall of Fame Jokes for October are ready (31 clean side, 22 blue side)!



If you are too lazy or too busy to visit the Jokes this month, here are two of my favorites from October:

October CS 14: Winter at the Indian Reservation - Marlane Kayfes

The young Indian man had just finished his graduate school training. He had studied hard for six long years in preparation for his future role as 'Tribal Leader' for his Indian tribe. Now it was autumn. Today he was conducting his very first tribal meeting on the remote reservation.

At the end of the meeting, one of the elders stood up and asked the new 'Chief' if the winter was going to be cold or mild. The young man was taken aback, but carefully hid his feelings as his leadership seminar had prepared him to do. Since he was an Indian Chief trained in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked up at the sky, he didn't have a clue what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, he knew he had to respond quickly to give the appearance of competence. To be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold. Several of the Indians smiled and nodded in agreement at his confident show of wisdom. This prediction indicated that the members of the village should begin to collect wood for the coming winter.

As he watched how diligently the villagers brought in the wood, the new Chief worried about his prediction. Being a practical sort, after several days the young man got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the local office of the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"At first it appeared it would be a mild winter, but our latest indications say it looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

Reassured, the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared. However a week later he noticed his latest order had prompted the tribe to gather what seemed to be a near mountain of wood.

Now he was sweating for two reasons: it wasn't even remotely cold and his people had gone to a lot of work based on his prediction. He nervously called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"

"Why, yes it is," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "we now think it's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

Flabbergasted, the young Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later the temperature had only dropped at most a degree or two, yet the stack of firewood was so tall it had become a local tourist attraction. The Chief frowned as he watched all the people dressed in shorts and Hawaiian shirts taking pictures of 'Firewood Mountain'. But when he saw a TV station truck arrive to take footage of the event, he completely panicked.

Frantically he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you ABSOLUTELY sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "The latest indications suggest that it's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"The word 'Suggest' isn't good enough. How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy!!!"

October BS 19: The Halloween Party
Submitted by Sharon Russell and Page Brunkhorst

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a fast and furious bang.

After it was over, she got out of there as quickly as she possibly could. She had never been so disgusted in her life. Her husband who she had trusted so much acted like Conan, grunting and pawing and screaming at climax.

After she got home, she put the costume away and got into bed, wondering exactly what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."

'Oh, sure', she thought to herself. Then she asked, "Did you dance much? And where's your costume?"

He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I am a little embarrassed to tell you I don't have that Zorro outfit you got for me... that idiot Steve, you know, the guy you hate so much, showed up without a costume. When he saw I wasn't going to need mine, he begged me to give it to him. He took off with some tramp in a French Maid outfit and I never saw him again."

(Note: you can find these two jokes and 50 others on our Joke Page. Enjoy!

And that's a wrap for October.

Thanks for reading this month's issue of the SSQQ Newsletter!

Rick Archer
dance@ssqq.com  (email)


Please direct questions, comments, and contributions to:
Rick Archer at 

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