2002 Quarter 4
Home Up


OCTOBER 2002 - (Please note there was no Newsletter for October)

NOVEMBER 2002


The SSQQ Halloween Party is this Saturday, October 26, starting at 9 pm. We have an awesome 7-foot Frankenstein waiting for you in the Haunted House. We haven't fed him yet…
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party20.htm

Good news I: Assistant Bellaire Police Chief Byron Holloway will return again this year to patrol our parking lot and keep things safe for us. In these troubled times, we are indeed fortunate to have him.

Good news II: Chief Holloway has given us permission to park our cars on the side of First Street where there are "No Parking" signs. I want each and every person attending the party to personally thank Chief Holloway for helping us again this year. Bring him some cookies, shake his hand, give him a hug, whatever it takes to let him know how grateful we are to have his presence!
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NO STANDING IN LINE - SIGN UP ON-LINE 
https://ssl10.crystaltech.com/ssqq/index.cfm
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NOVEMBER SCHEDULE OF SSQQ DANCE CLASSES. 
Classes begin the week of Sunday, October 27. 
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/schedule.htm


HIGHLIGHTS OF THE NOVEMBER SCHEDULE

Sunday afternoons in November (starts October 27th, 4:30 pm) marks the return of a favorite course: SLOW DANCING FOR HOLIDAY PARTIES. Christmas and New Year is the only time of year many people dance at all. This special course covers 'the Lost Art of Formal Dancing'. The ability to Slow Dance gracefully is very important. Rick Archer will cover Foxtrot, Waltz, and 2 forms of Slow Dancing. You will easily be the best dancer at your Holiday Party! (Partner not necessary).

JUMP JIVE AND BOOGIE WOOGIE is a new class taught on Sundays by Judy Archer. In a sense, it is a 'Swing Buffet' class as it covers 4 different Swing dances. One week you will learn the Latin Hustle, the next week you will learn the Carolina Shag, the following week comes Balboa and the final week will be Boogie Woogie. All four dances are close relatives of East and West Coast Swing and can be used to a wide variety of Swing music.

Sharon Crawford presents INTERMEDIATE WESTERN CHA CHA in November. Western Cha Cha has become a big part of Western dance competitions. Used to romantic slow Polka music with a Latin feel to it ("Neon Moon", "Tequila Town"), Western Cha Cha is a pleasant alternative to Polka. Cha Cha is easy to learn, fun to watch, & joy to dance.

The BEGINNING WHIP/WEST COAST SWING SUPERCLASS is back!! These two fascinating dances are taught side by side on Monday and Thursday. Whip and West Coast Swing are danced to Disco, Blues, & Rock music. They feature fancy footwork, sexy hip motion, and flashy spins. We will have you dancing West Coast in time for your Christmas Party!

Rachel Seff, also known as the Midnight Zephyr, will teach a lady's only BELLY DANCE Crash Course on November 9. This ancient dance discipline needs little description, but we might add it improves your hip motion in Whip. Hmm! Interest in this class has been phenomenal so far among our ladies. Sorry, guys, beat it. Ladies only.
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THIS MONTH'S THEME: HALLOWEEN

As you may know, here at SSQQ we take Halloween very seriously. Our 24th Annual SSQQ Halloween Party will be this Saturday, October 26th, 9 pm till 1 am. Last year we had 250 people join us. It was a fabulous party and it will be even better this year. 

If you don't believe it, go see the pictures for yourself and start counting!

Good news I: Assistant Bellaire Police Chief Byron Holloway will return again this year to patrol our parking lot and keep things safe. In these troubled times, we are indeed fortunate to have him. (Yes, I know I repeating myself. I just want to be double sure you know.)

Good news II: Chief Holloway has given us permission to park our cars on the side of First Street where there are "No Parking" signs. I want each and every person attending the party to personally thank Chief Holloway for helping us again this year. Bring him some cookies, shake his hand, give him a hug, whatever it takes to let him know how grateful we are to have his presence!

Good news III: We have a professional photographer to take pictures this year. Tim Knight, Gary Richardson's talented assistant at TFW Computers, will be on hand all night to snap your photo. Here's a suggestion: Make sure he gets your picture!!

Here are the items on the SSQQ Web Site related to this year's party: 

HALLOWEEN PARTY DESCRIPTION:
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party20.htm

HALLOWEEN PICTURES FROM LAST YEAR'S PARTY: 
http://ssqq.com/information/halloween.htm

HALLOWEEN MOVIE TRIVIA CONTEST: 
http://ssqq.com/information/halloweencontest.htm

9 BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES OF 2001:
http://ssqq.com/information/halloweenbest2001.htm

TALES OF THE SSQQ HALLOWEEN PARTY:
http://ssqq.com/information/advent26.htm
(Includes these 4 stories -
1. Tales of the Crypt 
2. The SSQQ Haunted House 
3. The Longest Night of My Life 
4. The Story of the Monster Mash 

GREATEST COSTUMES IN THE HISTORY OF THE SSQQ HALLOWEEN PARTY
http://ssqq.com/information/hallocostume01.htm

(Editor's Note: this article is my project for Thursday, October 24. Look for the complete article soon)

We answer these intriguing questions: 
1. Who is the lady who has hands down the Best Figure in the history of the party?
2. What famous Star Wars character mysteriously shows up each year?
3. Why doesn't Rick wear a costume any more?
4. Which are the most creative costumes over the years?
5. Which is the Best Halloween Costume ever?
6. Two SSQQ Staff people have won the Best Costume Contest. Who are they? How did they win?
7. Which are the most famous coincidences of people wearing costumes that match someone they have never met before? 
8. What are the favorite costumes of women and why?
9. What was the most outrageous dance costume ever?
And more!
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SSQQ DANCE PARTIES IN NOVEMBER

On SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9, we will have our annual BLACK AND WHITE PARTY. At the party we will have Swing dancing in Room 1, Latin and Tango in Room 4, and Belly Dancing in Room 5. Obviously the theme colors for the party are Black and White. Negative people love this party.
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party21.htm

CRASH COURSES 7 - 9 pm

BALBOA SWING - Gloria
BEG LINDY HOP - Patty O
BRYAN'S FAV SWING PATTERNS! - Bryan
ADV MERENGUE - Linda
BEG LATIN CHA CHA - Judy
BEG SALSA MAMBO - Anastasia
BELLY DANCING- Rachel the Midnite Zephyr (ladies only)

9:15 - Midnight
BLACK AND WHITE 
SWING/LATIN PARTY!!
(SWING, LATIN, REQUESTS)

Wear Black & White or Sit Down all Night

Rachel Seff, also known as the Midnight Zephyr, will teach a lady's only BELLY DANCE Crash Course on November 9. This ancient dance discipline needs little description, but we might add it improves your hip motion in Whip. Hmm! Interest in this class has been phenomenal so far among our ladies. Sorry, guys, beat it. Ladies only.
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On SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23, we will have our annual HEARTBEAT TURKEY TROT WESTERN PARTY AND LIP SYNC SHOW. We will have Western dancing in Room 1 with Whip/West Coast Swing in Room 4. 

http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party22.htm

CRASH COURSES 7 - 9 pm

BEG TWOSTEP - Leo
BEG WESTERN SWING - MG
BEG WESTERN WALTZ - Susie
JITTERBUG ACROBATICS - Paul (cpls only)
DIRTY DANCING - Rachel/Wil
WESTERN LINE DANCES - Mae
ANITA'S FAVORITE HIJACKS - Anita & Rick

9:15 - Midnight
HEARTBEATS TURKEY TROT WESTERN PARTY
(MUSIC WESTERN, WHIP)

Dress Hot to Trot or get Ignored a Lot

The Heartbeat Turkey Trot November 23 Party is a favorite here at the studio. It is called the 'Heartbeat Party' because the members of the Heartbeat Dance Team serve as your hosts and hostesses throughout the night. 

The Heartbeat Dance Team is preparing feverishly to participate in the World Championships sometime around New Year. They have some wonderful dance routines to perform for you that will knock your socks off. 

Then later in the evening the various Heartbeat members perform with other SSQQ Staffers and students in our Annual Lip Sync Show. In the Lip Sync Show we do our best to parody famous performers with offbeat skits. Some of these acts are so funny you think your sides might burst!! 
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SO WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OCTOBER NEWSLETTER??

There was no October Newsletter this year. When it came time to put the October issue together, I came up with a huge case of 'Writer's Block'. There were two things that were bothering me quite a bit and what little creativity I have just shriveled up and went to hide. 

Issue Number One was my discovery of nearly 2,000 useless email addresses on our Newsletter Email list. At the time it seemed to me like the entire studio would rather not read the Newsletter. Just like it is tough to act for an empty audience, it is tough to hit the keyboard if no one is reading. This realization locked me up tighter than a drum. 

I began to lighten up when I discovered the real reason for all the useless email addresses. It turned out many students kept opening new accounts every time they used Walk-in Registration. Since they knew we already had their email address, they told the Registrar not to bother. The discovery of several thousand duplicate records wasn't pleasant, but at least I didn't feel quite as bad about the email address problem. 

Issue Number Two was a mild depression I experienced related to our recent Caribbean Cruise. For some reason, it bothered me tremendously to see how poorly the social dancing was handled aboard the Rhapsody. It was a strange depression - the year before, the Carnival Celebration had barely lifted a finger to promote dancing on the ship, but it didn't bother me as much. This year the Rhapsody had far better dance facilities including the 'Shall We Dance Lounge' and the Robert J Band in the Atrium area. Plus they had day time dance lessons and even special nights dedicated to dancing such as Caribbean Night, Western Night, and Sock Hop Night. 

In other words, they were trying to promote social dance. Nevertheless nearly event was a disaster. The best I can do to explain my glum feelings is to give an example. Say that you are an excellent surgeon in a specialty field and you watch a colleague with all the ability in the world botch an operation you could have handled with ease. That's how I felt about Rhapsody's treatment of their dance program. 

This month I feel better and I am writing again. The SSQQ Newsletter isn't done yet, but it will be in a day or two. The Newsletter and the Email Newsletter used to be identical, but when the Newsletter grew too big, I realized I now had two entities - a shorter Email Newsletter to keep our customers informed about the upcoming dance semester and a much longer Newsletter that lives on the website. Be sure to check the web site for the completed Newsletter in the next couple days as I have lots to add.
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SSQQ ACCOUNT IDs.

As I mentioned previously, we have discovered literally thousands of duplicate records. After doing some research I found that students like Cathy Bryant and Art Williams have 4 and 5 different accounts. This causes a problem for SSQQ, but it also means I can't issue any frequent dancer bonus points because I can't get an adequate class history for most of our student body. 

Therefore we have cooked up a scheme called "Account IDs". I will copy the text from our On-Line Registration page that I wrote to explain the problem and the solution and let you read it now…. 

WHAT IS AN ACCOUNT ID?

It is an ID made up of your first initial, full last name, and the month and date of your birthday. So if your name is Richard Brenner and you were born on September 4th, 1960, then your Account ID is RBrenner0904. We don't need the year. 

We will create an ID for you. All we need is your birthday. Once we create your Account ID you can use it for all of your future online and walk-in registrations. For now just enter your E-mail address to continue with registration.

Next time you register, enter your Account ID and E-mail address to access your account.

If you forgot your Account ID just remember to enter your first initial, last name and month and day of your birthday. You can always use your E-mail address to access your account.

WHY SSQQ NEEDS ACCOUNT IDS

We must find a better way keep our records organized. 

After two recent identity-confusion snafus, we did a data-base audit. We discovered we had multiple accounts for nearly 33% of our repeat-business students due to misspellings, changed email addresses, and the use of formal names one month and nicknames the next (e.g. 'William' and 'Bill'). 

Not surprisingly, we have begun to have problems. One problem is identifying which account to use. For example, by accessing an incorrect account we had one 'Smith' whose credit card paid for another 'Smith'. We caught the mistake and corrected it, but with better Account IDs we would have avoided the mistake entirely. Then there was a certain Ms. Brown with more personalities than Sybil. One day her credit card was rejected because we used an older account. This was when we found out all 4 Browns were the same person - Cathy, Kathy, Katherine, and Katy. She had two different credit card numbers and three different email addresses. I'm sure it was only a matter of time before 'Catherine' joined the group. 

The time has definitely come to bring more order to the records. Account IDs should solve the problem. 


WHY SSQQ STUDENTS BENEFIT FROM ACCOUNT IDS - COURSE HISTORY

It is common practice for organizations to reward their customers for repeat business. Here at SSQQ, the original thought was to build everyone's history for a year, then play games like 'Take 5 Ghost Towns, get one free' and similar promotions for Zoot Suit Riot, Martian Whip, and Advanced Salsa. Since our business is very healthy, we thought it might be a nice gesture.

If we kept these kind of records by hand, it would be an administrative nightmare. We generated 8,000 accounts in 2002 alone. However the use of a computerized Registration system means one simple look at the computer screen will allow the Registrar to issue a much-deserved free class. 

Furthermore we hoped to resume our use of the 'Repeat' feature for On-Line Registration in January, 2003. Using a student's class History, the computer would be able to determine whether he or she had previously taken the course. If there was a match, the student would be allowed to register On-Line for the same class at half-price. 

Unfortunately as it stands many of our students currently have their 'Histories' spread out over 2, 3, and even 4 different accounts. And finding these different accounts is not easy. Putting Humpty-Dumpty back together for 1,000 multiple different accounts is for all practical purposes impossible.

Once we begin to establish unique Account IDs, we grow closer to the moment when we can utilize the Registration system in many sophisticated different ways to benefit our customers and reduce our headaches at the same time.


UNIQUE RECORDS

We originally hoped to have one unique record for every student with a simple means of identifying that record. If we did we could:

1. Have a central place for a student to maintain his or hers information; like e-mail address, partner information, credit card information, etc. 

2. Build a history of classes for student to allow us to:

3. Offer the aforementioned Ghost Town/etc repeat-business specials.

4. Offer the half-price discount to students repeating classes who wish to register On-line. 

Easier said than done. 

We ran into all sorts of problems trying to create these unique student records.

We tried using a student's e-mail address to create a unique record for each student, but quickly found out this did not work. To our surprise, many SSQQ students do not have an e-mail address. 

And email addresses change constantly. 

And some students with multiple e-mail addresses have managed to create multiple student records with one from work and one from home and one from their new job and so on. 

Next we tried using a student's name, but quickly found out how unreliable that was. For example, Arthur Smith can register as Art Smith, A Smith, Arthur Smith, and Arthur Smith Jr which creates a new student record each time (this example actually occurred).

So we began to brainstorm. Phone numbers are like e-mail addresses, they change too. Assigning a student an ID number that is hard to remember would end in disaster. Using even a part of a student's SSN would invade his privacy.

Finally we decided that every student has a first name, last name, and a birth date he or she can remember, so why not make an Account ID out of that.

So the Account ID of Arthur Smith born on December 9th becomes ASmith1209. Then when Arthur Smith comes in and says he is Artie Smith, we simply ask for his Account ID and quickly find his student record. Plus now he or she gets a Free Practice Night any night on the week of their birthday as long as he is willing to hear the SSQQ Happy Birthday Cha Cha song. Nothing is free…

Once the man with multiple names, multiple credit cards, and multiple e-mail addresses has a unique student account, then we can maintain his information and build an accurate class history.

ABOUT E-MAIL ADDRESSES

SSQQ needs your email address for several reasons. 

For starters, SSQQ is the most complicated dance studio that has ever existed. It is a living, breathing, 3-ring circus. There are over 1,000 people a week who come through the studio. The only way to keep a group this large and diverse informed of the details and things that happen at the studio is through our Newsletter. Plus if there was a fire, flood damage, or any of a wide variety of unanticipated problems - knock on wood - email is the way we would spread the word quickly to a group this size. Having your email address could save you an unnecessary trip or possibly prevent a headache like the time the Door Warehouse started towing cars without warning.

Group communication is not the only reason we need your email address. As a business, we must have a way to contact our customers on an individual basis. We don't ask for your phone number. We don't ask where you live. So that leaves email. Email is the only system that makes sense in our type of business. 

When we ask people to teach for us, we contact them by email. 

When we need someone to volunteer for a class, we contact them by email.

We use your email address to send you Registration information.

We connect people who are trying to put together an event like the Honky Tonk Tours. However even if we though you were interested, we would not give out your address. We forward everything and let you handle it from there.

There are many things that crop up that cannot be anticipated. For example, sometimes we have a problem with a student. On several occasions when we have received a complaint that a student is too rough in class or has done something inappropriate, we have explained the problem to them by email. 

However due the ridiculous proliferation of Spam email, viruses, weirdos, and Big Brother on your back about receiving email at work, many of our students are justifiably concerned about giving us their email address. 

You have our firm word of honor that no one is given your email address without your permission. We have never sold our list to anyone and never will. Plus we guard your address carefully. For example, if someone asks us for your email address, we simply forward the request on to you and let you make up your own mind. 

There are active minds at work at this studio. No one is asleep at the wheel. Like any large organization we do make mistakes, but we do everything in our power to clean them up when we make them and to make changes to avoid making them again. In order to accomplish this goal, you can help us a lot by sharing your email address and your birthday with us. 

Thanks, Rick Archer and David Schroeder (SSQQ Information Tech)

(Editor's Note: Assuming you read the article about Account IDs, I welcome any feedback. dance@ssqq.com )
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THE STORY OF LAST AUGUST'S SSQQ CARIBBEAN CRUISE IS FINALLY READY
http://ssqq.com/information/rhapsody2002.htm

We have 10 pages of pictures, a find-the-missing-person contest, and three pages of story complete with new pictures ready for you to read!
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THE NOVEMBER JOKE PICTURE OF THE MONTH

This month's picture is a dog who definitely has his nose in the wrong place. 
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/jokepicture.htm
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HALLOWEEN MONSTER TRIVIA CONTEST 

On the SSQQ web site we have 40 pictures from famous and not-so famous Halloween movies. This month we had 4 winners:
Krista Johnson
Anita Bath
Chris Holmes
Misty Carson

Thanks for playing!!

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SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE - 
MARK YOUNG AND ANGELA HENNAN GET MARRIED IN SEPTEMBER!!

Proud Mom Kasandra Hennan spilled the beans the other day. She told me her vivacious daughter Angela Hennan had gotten married to her boyfriend Mark Young on Saturday, September 20. They took their honeymoon in Galveston. 

Mark and Angela met in my Beginning Twostep class all the way back in January. Angela was quite a character. She was always cutting up in my class and giving me a hard time, but I didn't mind because I liked her spirit. 

Mark was one of those guys to whom dancing doesn't come easy, but I admire him for his persistence. He got some much instruction from my Assistant Gillian Tilbury that Angela accused Mark of messing up just so he could dance with Gillian. 

Mark actually became a fairly good dancer after all the abuse he took about his two left feet. He wasn't doing too bad a job in West Coast Swing with Angela, but then he suddenly disappeared from the studio. And now we know why!!

My congratulations to both.
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THE SSQQ NOVEMBER JOKE PAGE IS READY! 
We have several classic jokes ready for you to read on our November Joke Page. 
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/jokes11.htm
Here is a great joke from the November Joke Page. I would think it was funnier if there wasn't a fairly good chance it is actually a true story. 

November 01 : The Ancient Scrolls 
contributed by Robin Wagner

In an ancient monastery in a faraway place, a new monk arrived to join his brothers in copying books and scrolls in the monastery's scriptorium. He was assigned as a rubricator on copies of books that had already been copied by hand. One day he asked Father Florian (the Armarius of the Scriptorium), "Does not the copying by hand of other copies allow for chances of error? How do we know we are not copying the mistakes of someone else? Are they ever checked against the original"?
Father Florian is set back a bit by the obvious logical observation of this youthful monk. "A very good point, my son. I will take one of the latest books down to the vault and compare it to the original." 
Father Florian went down to the secured vault and began his verification. After a day had passed, the monks began to worry and went down looking for the old priest. They were sure something must've happened to him.
As they approached the vault, they heard sobbing and crying. When they opened the door, they found Father Florian sobbing over the new copy and the original ancient book, both of which were opened before him on the table. It was obvious to all that the poor man had been crying his old heart out for a long time. 
"What is the problem, Reverend Father?" asked one of the monks. 
"Oh, my Lord," sobbed the priest, "The word is 'celebrate'!"……………………
NOVEMBER VOCABULARY WORD OF THE MONTH - SYNESTHESIA
Contributed by Jane Downs
SYNESTHESIA (SIN eh STEE zhuh) noun 1. A condition in which one type of stimulation evokes the sensation of another, as when the hearing of a sound produces the visualization of a color.. aka "joined sensation"
Example: An example of synesthesia is back in childhood when the smell of Mother's chocolate chip cookies would evoke the feeling of my brother grabbing the back of my blouse in a last-ditch effort to reach the top of the stairs first.
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PS: Answer to the ONE DOLLAR Brain Teaser:

The price of the room was switched from $30 to $25 so you can't use the $30 any more in the math. Use the $25 figure instead. The bell boy kept $2 for himself. The men paid $27. $27 - $2 = $25 which is the new price of the room. The men overpaid by $2 due to the bellboy's shady handling of the refund. 


DECEMBER 2002

THE ANNUAL HEARTBEAT TURKEY TROT WESTERN DANCE AND LIP SYNC SHOW will be held this Saturday, November 23. In addition to two performances by the fabulous Heartbeat Dance Team, there is a strong possibility of an exhibition by the reigning National Division I Showcase Champions Chad Guidry and Dawn Haight the same night. 

Throw in the marvelous singing talents of the Supremes, Beach Boys, and Frank Sinatra at the Lip Sync Show later on and you can see why this is one of our top parties of the year!

This is probably the only SSQQ party of the year where even if you can't dance a lick, you can still have a marvelous time. 
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NO STANDING IN LINE - SIGN UP ON-LINE 
https://ssl10.crystaltech.com/ssqq/index.cfm
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DECEMBER SCHEDULE OF SSQQ DANCE CLASSES. 
Classes begin the week of Sunday, November 24. 
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/schedule.htm


HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DECEMBER SCHEDULE

INTERMEDIATE SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE FOR HOLIDAY PARTIES. 
Sunday afternoons in December (starts November 24th) brings the return of this favorite course. Christmas and New Year is the only time of year many people dance at all. This special course covering the lost art of Formal Dancing is very useful! Rick Archer will cover new patterns for Slow Dancing, BoxFox Foxtrot patterns, Waltz, plus Dips and Lunges . Following this course, you will likely become the best Formal dancer at your Holiday Party! (Partner not necessary). 
(Please note on Mondays Jill Banta will teach a Beginning level of the same course!)

BALBOA SWING comes to SSQQ on Sundays taught by Gloria Sanchez. It is an 8-count shuffle danced very close together moving back and forth. Many Balboa dancers do Swing, switch to Balboa periodically, then move back to Swing. Very cool dance. 

ARGENTINE TANGO returns to SSQQ Sunday evenings in December. Offered for the first time in over year, the class will be taught by Judy Archer. American Tango is more structured & memorized, while Argentine Tango is more creative and improvisational. With an emphasis on intricate footwork including foot flicks, leg wraps, and swivels, Argentine Tango is a wonderful dance! It is also considered trickier than American Tango. Room 4 will be reserved for Argentine Tango practice each Sunday evening immediately after class. 

Sharon Crawford presents ADVANCED WESTERN CHA CHA on Wednesdays. Western Cha Cha has become a big part of Western dance competitions. Used to romantic slow Polka music with a Latin feel to it ("Neon Moon", "Tequila Town"), Western Cha Cha is a pleasant alternative to Polka. Cha Cha is easy to learn, fun to watch, & joy to dance. 

Rachel Seff, also known as the Midnight Zephyr, will teach a lady's only BELLY DANCE Class on Fridays at 6 pm starting in January. She had over 60 people at her recent Belly Dance Crash Course on November 9. Interest in this class has been phenomenal. 
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SSQQ DANCE PARTIES IN DECEMBER

On SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23, we will have our Annual Heartbeat Turkey Trot Western Dance and Lip Sync Show Party. The music will be Western, Swing, Waltz, and Whip/WCS. 
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party22.htm

CRASH COURSES 7 - 9 pm

BEG TWOSTEP - Leo
BEG WESTERN SWING - MG
BEG WESTERN WALTZ - Susie
JITTERBUG ACROBATICS - Paul (cpls only)
DIRTY DANCING - Rachel/Wil
WESTERN LINE DANCES - Mae
ANITA'S FAVORITE HIJACKS - Anita & Rick

9:15 - Midnight
HEARTBEATS TURKEY TROT WESTERN PARTY
(MUSIC WESTERN, WHIP)


The Heartbeat Turkey Trot November 23 Party is a favorite here at the studio. It is called the 'Heartbeat Party' because the members of the Heartbeat Dance Team serve as your hosts and hostesses throughout the night. 

The Heartbeat Dance Team is preparing feverishly to participate in the World Championships sometime around New Year. They have some wonderful dance routines to perform for you that will knock your socks off. 

Then later in the evening the various Heartbeat members perform with other SSQQ Staffers and students in our Annual Lip Sync Show. In the Lip Sync Show we do our best to parody famous performers with offbeat skits. Some of these acts are so funny you think your sides might burst!! 
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS SWING/LATIN PARTY
Saturday, December 7
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party23.htm

CRASH COURSES 7 - 9 pm

FREESTYLE - Linda
BEG SWING - Lise
BEG C&W: TEXAS TWOSTEP - Kimberly
SLOW DANCING! - Victoria/Loni (cpls only)
NIGHT CLUB TWOSTEP - Jill
ADV WESTERN WALTZ - Judy
NEAL'S FAV SWING PTRNS - Neal

9:15 - Midnight
HAPPY HOLIDAYS 
SWING/LATIN PARTY!!
(SWING Room 1, LATIN Room 4, REQUESTS)
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THE SSQQ CHRISTMAS PARTY, Friday, December 20th (9:15 pm - 12:30 am)
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party24.htm

The SSQQ Christmas Party is unusual in that much of our music has a Christmas twist to it. Thanks to the many Western performers such as Garth Brooks and George Strait, there are many Christmas songs that are excellent Twosteps and Polkas. And there is a lot of Christmas Swing music as well. We play normal dance music as well, but the emphasis is on dancing to Christmas songs. 

There are many Waltzes played at the SSQQ Christmas Party. It turns out there are many Christmas Carols that turn out to be Waltz-tempo such as "What Child is This?", "The First Noel", "Silver Bells", "Away in a Manger", "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear", and several others. If you like to Waltz, you will love this party!

For a nice Dress suggestion, wear clothing with Red or Green or a Christmas Theme shirt/pullover. 
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THE 2002 SSQQ NEW YEAR'S PARTY, Tuesday, December 31st.
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party25.htm
(More about this in the next Newsletter)
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THE 2002 HALLOWEEN PARTY

It is difficult to believe, but our 24th Annual SSQQ Halloween Party turned out to be the best party we have ever had. I don't know how we do it, but every year seems to get better and better. 

I imagine we had over 300 people join us. If you don't believe this total, go check the pictures for yourself and start counting the faces! You might find the number even higher. 

Why was the party better this year? 

One. We had not one negative incident. My thanks as always to Assistant Bellaire Police Chief Byron Holloway for patrolling our parking lot and keeping things safe. 

Two. The Haunted House was even better this year. Thanks to Judy Archer, Frankenstein made a sensational debut this year. He just looked awesome!! 

Three. The Costumes were better than ever. Unlike the early years of the party, everyone now makes a real effort to come up with an attractive costume. The costumes were unique, colorful, and imaginative. 

Four. We hired a professional photographer to take pictures this year. Tim Knight, Gary Richardson's talented assistant at TFW Computers, was on hand all night to snap photos. As a result we had the finest pictures ever taken. It is incredibly difficult to capture dance on film, but as you survey the gallery of pictures, you will find one marvelous action shot after another. When my daughter Sam helped me add pictures to the web site, she exclaimed, "Gee, Dad, these are the best pictures I have ever seen at the party!" 

You can order a CD of all the wonderful Halloween pictures for $15. On the CD prepared by Tim are 400 photos plus a slide show that will put the pictures up on your computer screen one after another automatically. It may seem like a lot of money, but I can assure you Tim put the equivalent of a 40 hour week into the preparation of the CD. This will give you a chance to see your own picture in greater detail, but also have wonderful pictures of everyone who attended this year's party. 

Tim scanned in each photograph at such a high resolution that you can take any picture from the CD and have it reproduced at a print shop in perfect condition. It is quite a marvelous CD. 

You can obtain the SSQQ Halloween CD in one of three ways: 
1. Email Tim Knight at tkphotos@hotmail.com and order one. 
2. Phone Tim at TFW Computers, 713 461 8660, during each weekday.
3. Ask Gary Richardson for a copy if you see him at the studio. He plans to bring copies with him to the Saturday, November 23, Heartbeat Turkey Trot Party.
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2002 HALLOWEEN PARTY COSTUMES

Here are the items on the SSQQ Web Site related to this year's party: 

200 HALLOWEEN PICTURES FROM THIS YEAR'S PARTY: 
http://ssqq.com/information/hallo200200.htm

10 BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES OF 2002:
http://ssqq.com/information/halloweenbest2002.htm

So who won the Best Costume contest? Go see for yourself!!

TALES OF THE SSQQ HALLOWEEN PARTY:
http://ssqq.com/information/halloweenstories.htm

Includes these 4 stories -
1. Tales of the Crypt 
2. The SSQQ Haunted House 
3. The Halloween Party from Hell 
4. The Story of the Monster Mash 

GREATEST COSTUMES IN THE HISTORY OF THE SSQQ HALLOWEEN PARTY
http://ssqq.com/information/hallocostume00.htm

This new article covers my favorite costumes from 25 years of SSQQ Halloween Parties. I answer these intriguing questions: 
1. Who is the lady with the great figure who set the original tone for great costumes in the early years?
2. What two ladies are her spiritual successors in recent years? 
3. What famous Star Wars character once mysteriously showed up each year?
4. Why doesn't Rick wear a costume any more?
5. Which are the most creative costumes over the years?
6. Which is the Best Halloween Costume ever?
7. Two SSQQ Staff people have won the Best Costume Contest. Who are they? How did they win?
8. Which are the most famous coincidences of people wearing costumes that match someone they have never met before? 
9. What are the favorite costumes of women and why?
10. What was the most outrageous dance costume ever? 
(Hint: SSQQ Staffers wore this one!) 

And many many more items to see!
http://ssqq.com/information/hallocostume00.htm
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THE 2002 HALLOWEEN COSTUME PICTURE CONTEST!!
http://ssqq.com/information/hallo2002puzzle.htm

3 Contests in One!
Puzzle 1: Find the Duplicate Picture - limit 20 winners
Somewhere in our 200 pictures, the same picture appears twice. 
Prize: Free Practice Night in December 2002
Puzzle 2: Find the Objects - limit 10 winners 
Somewhere in our 200 pictures, these objects appear. They are tricky, but not impossible.
Prize: Free Turkey Trot Party, Saturday, November 23rd. 

Puzzle 3: Needle in a Haystack - One Winner only 
There are 10 pictures which are pretty obscure. I would imagine it would take an hour or two to locate all ten. Therefore I will make the prize significant -
Prize: Free 4 week class in December.
When I have a winner, I will announce it immediately on this page so you don't have to waste your time.
http://ssqq.com/information/hallo2002puzzle.htm
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THE WONDERFUL SSQQ CHRISTMAS PICTURE PUZZLE CONTEST!
http://ssqq.com/archive/christmaspuzzle00.htm

If you have any interest in solving fun puzzles, this will be a real favorite. We have 50 pictures with clues to famous Christmas Carols and Songs such as "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree". It's your job to match the 50 Picture Puzzles to a Clue List of 100 famous Christmas Songs. 

You will have a blast solving the mystery of each picture, we promise!! And this is a great way to gently ease into this year's Christmas Spirit. 
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THE SSQQ CHRISTMAS TOY DRIVE
Sponsored by Judy Archer

"One of my most enjoyable Christmases ever was in 1998 when SSQQ collected toys to be donated to needy children in Houston. We had a tremendous response from students and staff and we all felt great about helping a child have a better, more hopeful, Christmas.

We would once again like to collect toys for donation. It's easy to do. Simply buy a toy for any age child and bring it to the studio. We'll set up a spot in Room #6 for collection. The best part? No wrapping! Either put the toy in an open gift bag or just leave as is. My absolute favorite part is buying the studio's share of toys for donation!

Please remember how lucky we are and how happy you can make a needy child this Christmas with a simple gift of caring."

Judy Archer
SSQQ Dance Studio
713 789 3026
judyarcher@houston.rr.com
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ATLAS SHRUGGED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T KNOW THE ANSWER EITHER.

Ken Hoffmann in the Houston Chronicle asked this interesting question - Thinking about that famous statue where Atlas is seen standing tall holding the Earth on his shoulders, just what is he supposed to be standing on?
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SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE - TIM BELL AND LAURA JEAN BRZOZOWSKI ARE ENGAGED!

Sat 10/26/2002 11:07 AM
Email to Rick Archer:

"p.s. guess what, Rick? Tim and I are engaged and getting married in January! thank you for creating the space where we could meet. I remember thinking, "what kind of a geek am I going to meet at dance class?" then, I realized, "I'm in that dance class - I'll meet a geek just like me, and we'll have a blissful blast being our geeky selves and doing our geeky thing together." thanks for making such a safe and wonderful place for these two geeky hearts to find each other, dancing!
Laura Jean Brzozowski
(Editor's Note: This announcement makes me happy for many reasons. First of all, Tim and Laura Jean have been going together for some time and right for each other. Each time I see them, they look so very happy to be together. Second of all, my Universe will be a better place if I don't have to spell 'Brzozowski" any more. It will give me a chance to type or pronounce Laura's name "Bell". That will save me a lot of trouble. As they say, 'Saved by the Bell'!) 
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SSQQ EMAIL COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH - WHERE'S THE STORY ON THE LONGHORN?

Tue 10/29/2002 1:46 PM
I am surprised and disappointed to see no mention of the closing of the Texas Longhorn Saloon on you web site (other than the mention that Wild West will be open tonight).
You have a great web site but I still can't believe that you didn't write up SOMETHING about the demise of one of the best places to dance in Houston.
Maybe you are still working on it but it has already been several days…."

Rick Archer's Reply:

"This past weekend I had a Halloween party to run. The decorations still have not been put away nor the pictures posted on the Internet. I suggest you write the story."

(Editor's Note: I never got a reply, so I guess I will say a few words about the passing of the Longhorn. Since the mid 90s, the Longhorn was a major part of the Houston social dance scene. With its excellent large circular floor and convenient location, the Longhorn was a popular place to go Western dancing for many years. There have been rumors that the Longhorn was in danger of closing, but these rumors have been around for over a year. After a while people began to ignore them. Unfortunately I guess they turned out to be true. 

Long-time SSQQ Instructor Ben Liles originally organized the popular SSQQ Tuesday Night Western Dancing program at the Longhorn back sometime around 1997 or 1998. Tuesday Night at the Longhorn has been a longstanding SSQQ institution. 

The Longhorn closed the day before the SSQQ Halloween Party. On the following Monday, October 28, the manager of Wild West called me to ask if the SSQQ group would be interested in moving their activity to his place. Ordinarily Wild West is closed on Tuesdays, probably because they couldn't make any money with the whole world going to the Longhorn. I said I would be happy to post a message on the SSQQ Web Site. 

Apparently someone got the message. Emails swirled around Houston at a rapid pace. Just 24 hours after I posted the new information about Wild West, 200 people showed up on the following evening for Tuesday dancing. Information moves fast these days, doesn't it?)
………………….. 

THE DECEMBER JOKE PICTURE OF THE MONTH

This month's picture is yet another bizarre look at a rapidly self-destructing Michael Jackson. After the embarrassing photos whizzed around the Internet, Prince Michael refused to appear in court until the court photographer promised not to take any more pictures of him. 

Two days later the whole world was shaking their head at MJ again after he was seen holding his baby boy out over the railing of a balcony. The baby probably wasn't in much danger, but Dad still wasn't showing much common sense. 

And what in the world is wrong with his nose? 
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/jokepicture.htm
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THE SSQQ DECEMBER JOKE PAGE IS READY! 
We have several classic jokes ready for you to read on our December Joke Page. 
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/jokes12.htm
Here is one of my favorites:


December CS 24: Sold the Suit - Susan Schroeder

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him.

"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "You know that suit you offered a $20 bonus for selling? Well, while you were gone I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"

"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked.

"That's the one!"

"I hope you aren't kidding. That's great!" the manager cried as he handed over a twenty. "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me."
…………………………

THE SSQQ DECEMBER BLUE SIDE JOKES ARE READY! 

(Editor's Note: The Blue Side Jokes are one of the great undiscovered secrets of the SSQQ web site. Anyone who is on the SSQQ Registration List is welcome to have access. All you need to do to subscribe is email me from the email address you use to register for classes and request it. dance@ssqq.com
…………………………….

DECEMBER VOCABULARY WORD OF THE MONTH - REDARGUE
Contributed by Jane Downs

REDARGUE \Red*ar"gue\ v. t. (Latin redarguere, meaning to accuse, charge with) To disprove; to refute; to confute; to reprove; to convict. Archaic 

Ex: Sometimes we redargue our friends and family, so self-righteous are we, until we realize it s too late, that maybe we were wrong.
……………………………………

QUALITY OF LIFE 

The Mexican Fisherman

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, "Only a little while, Senor."

The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?"

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, Senor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You are obviously a very talented guy. You should spend more time fishing. With the proceeds, you could buy a bigger boat. Then with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats and eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But Senor, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then, Senor?"

The American laughed and said, "That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions, Senor? Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."


(EDITOR'S NOTE: This fascinating story appeared in last year's December Newsletter. I like the story so much I decided to share it again. It was contributed by Pat Roberts.)
……………………………

DANCE TEACHER NEEDED IN KATY, TEXAS

Would you like to teach Western dancing out in Katy? The Katy Independent School District has an opening for a Western teacher and other dance classes as well in their adult education department. 

Contact Lois Bell at lbell@admin.katy.isd.tenet.edu or call her 281-396-6365
……………………………….

FLOOD STUDIES

Buried deep in the pages of the Nov 14 Houston Chronicle, I discovered news of a $5 million Flood bill sponsored by erstwhile Representatives Sheila Jackson Lee and Kevin Brady. The purpose of this legislation is to study whether the frequency and severity of flooding is increasing in Harris County. 

5 million dollars of tax payers money. Here, let me save y'all some money - Hell yes it's increasing. Why not spend some of that money on drainage improvements or is that just too difficult to understand?? 
………………………..

AT&T IS RICK ARCHER'S CHOICE FOR THE WORLD'S WORST CORPORATION

You have my vote for AT&T as the worst corporation I have ever done business with. I am certain if I try hard enough, some other company can be found that is more poorly run than AT&T, but up to this point AT&T is the hand's down winner for "WORST COMPANY" in my book.

Here is a pathetic story. 

SSQQ does not use long distance phone service very often. Maybe once every couple years I find a reason to call someone, but I usually use my home phone and not my business number. This inexperience is the reason I was so easily ambushed. AT&T took me down faster than the Spaniards killed the Aztecs with the Plague.

Back in the spring of 2002, my assistant Jill Banta tried to renew our Norton Anti-Virus subscription on-line. Something went wrong. Frustrated, we couldn't leave the business computer exposed to viruses so we decided the next step was to call Norton on the phone. We could not find a 1-800 number listed on their web site, but we did finally locate a number where we could call them long distance. 

Figuring it would be a long wait, we decided to use the business phone since it had a speaker phone option. This way we could work until someone came on the line to speak to us. This trick worked just fine. 20 minutes later someone came on the phone and solved the problem. 

I don't pay the studio bills. I give them to Judy Archer. So without much thought I handed Judy the studio bills from AT&T for March, April, and May. It didn't dawn on me at the time that these were new bills. 

Then on June 25 I decided to review the bills before handing them to Judy. I noticed SSQQ was being billed $15.20 a month for long distance. Huh?? I hadn't made any long distance calls to anyone in ages. Why was I being billed? What was I being billed for? There wasn't even a number listed that I had called. 

I read the fine print. "AT&T applies a $11.95 minimum charge to accounts when long distance usage falls below $50. Based on your business needs, you may qualify for additional AT&T products and services that could result in avoiding this charge. For more information contact the Billing Inquiries number."

Without much hesitation I picked up the phone. I braced myself for a wait, but it turned out to be far worse than I ever imagined. First I was instructed to decide whether I spoke English or not. Then I was told my communications would be taped for my protection. Then I was instructed to punch in my number. Then I was instructed to punch in my account number. Then I was instructed at another level to punch in my phone number again. Finally I was given the privilege to quit punching in numbers and just sit there and wait. 

To add to my ordeal, a repeating tape started to play stating that "a survey by JD Powers and Associates listed AT&T Number 1 in customer satisfaction!" Over and over and over again I listened to this stupid message!! I was ready to scream when suddenly the phone went dead for no reason. I stared blankly at the phone. I was sick with frustration. Ten minutes were gone down the drain. Now I would have to start all over again. 

Yes, I told the computer I wanted English.
Yes, I was told the call was being recorded again.
Yes, I punched in my phone number again.
Yes, I punched in my account number again.
Yes, I punched in my phone number again.
Yes, I got to listen to the JD Powers tape again. 

I wondered if this was a nightmare. It wasn't. Nightmares aren't this scary. 

Thirty minutes - YES, 30 !@#$%^! MINUTES - later a billing representative came on the line. And you will not believe the first thing he said to me. Guess. "Can I have your phone number and account number, please?" Unbelievable. 

So I told him my problem. I finally came to understand how I had gotten stuck with AT&T in the first place. It seems my business phone did not have a long distance service on it when I called Norton Anti-Virus. So I had been assigned to AT&T on a rotating basis. As I understood it AT&T had set up my account behind my back using existing phone records from somewhere. No warning had been given. No signatures were required. No permission on my part was necessary. And no contract had been sent. SSQQ was now an AT&T customer.

Furthermore I was going to be billed 15 bucks a month automatically for not using my long distance service. Over the past 3 months SSQQ had already paid $45 for this privilege before I even caught on to the problem.

I explained that SSQQ didn't need long-distance phone service. All of my long-distance work is done through toll-free phone numbers, the Internet, and email. My home phone could handle the other one or two calls I might make if necessary. I had only used the business phone because the speaker phone made waiting easier. "Please cancel my service," I said. 

The representative argued me. He said that wasn't a good idea. Huh? He said if I signed up for this option and that option, then my service would become free. You gotta be kidding. I said for the second time cancel my service. He argued with me again. Now I lost my temper. I said in a raised voice, "I WANT YOU TO CANCEL MY ACCOUNT!!! WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET YOU TO LISTEN TO ME!?!"

I swear on a stack of Bibles that I had to tell him three times to cancel the service before he finally agreed to do so. My blood pressure was so high that I thought I would pop a blood vessel. As I hung up the phone sweating and panting, the thought crossed my mind that Dracula could not be harder to kill than AT&T. 'Number One in Customer Satisfaction according to JD Powers and Associates'. Where do they get this stuff??

Finally I calmed down and called Sprint. The lady was very nice, but said I would have to have a minimum charge for long distance with Sprint too for long distance. The good news was that the charge would only be $5 a month. I said never mind, but could I change my home phone long distance service to Sprint instead without a minimum charge? That she could do. If I didn't call anyone long distance, then I wouldn't be charged. Good. Now I was happy. 

In July I got another bill from AT&T. I wrote in red ink on the bill that I had already canceled my long distance service. In August I got yet another bill from AT&T. Livid, I wrote in red ink on the bill that I had already canceled my long distance service and that I had written the same thing the month before. 

In September I got a third bill. Now I knew for sure that my ordeal on June 25th had done no good. AT&T was not going away. 

So on September 18 I wrote them a letter which basically asked them to cancel my service. Here is what I said: 

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

ATT Bill 
Acct xxx yyy zzzz aaa with SSQQ Inc/Richard Archer 

Gentlemen, 

Back in the Spring of 2002, my assistant made a long-distance call on my business phone (713 861 1906) to attempt to rectify a problem regarding our Norton Anti-Virus protection renewal. 

Unbeknownst to her or to me, this automatically created a long-distance service for my business with ATT. This service is unnecessary since my business is strictly local. I make almost no long-distance calls other than the odd problem which could just as easily been handled in another way. 

Shortly thereafter I began receiving bills such as the one I have enclosed. They were paid for several months by my staff as part of our monthly routine bill payment.

Then one day I noticed the ATT bill myself. I was curious since no one had made a long-distance call in several months. 

1. I was shocked to find that I had been assigned an ATT long-distance account that required NO Signature and no contract approval. 
2. Then I was shocked to find I am forced to pay 15 dollars a month minimum charge despite not making one call.

This means I have been paying for a service that I don't want, I don't need, didn't ask for and HAVEN'T even USED! Nice racket. 

I made a phone call to an ATT service representative in July 2002 canceling my service. It did not solve the problem. Since then I have continued to receive bills nevertheless. I am quite sure a record of this call can be retrieved if this problem continues to fester. This was a fascinating call. First I was disconnected after ten minutes. The second time I sat there for 30 minutes waiting for a representative. Imagine the absurdity of being on hold for 30 minutes listening endlessly to your tape touting the JD Powers and Associates survey listing ATT as #1 in customer satisfaction. I punched in my telephone number four different times for your computer. Little good this did - when your service rep finally did answer, he required me to list my phone number again! 

Since that call in July, I have written notes on each ATT monthly bill explaining that I canceled my service, but this has done no good since I continue to receive my bill like clockwork. Now I am trying a written letter to inform you my long-distance service is canceled. 

First you 'sign me up' behind my back without my permission. Then you bill me for a service I don't use. Third, you don't even remove me from your billing despite my excruciating 30-minute call to your offices in July. Now I am forced to spend nearly an hour writing this letter. 

What kind of business do you run?? 

Now, kindly remove my service. Please be professional and do the work your 'representative' was supposed to have done back in July and cancel it. Furthermore, please clear my account of all charges since July. Finally, a written notice to the effect that the service has indeed gone to its well-deserved extinction would greatly be appreciated. My address is on the bill and the envelope.

Sincerely, 

Rick Archer


On September 19, I sent the letter to the billing address by certified mail. I have the receipt. I dreaded making another phone call. Writing the letter seemed easier. 

But did the letter work? No, of course not. In October I received my usual bill. 

AT&T lives. Dracula has been hired as their public spokesman. I believe JD Powers and Associates recommended him as the perfect corporate symbol. 

Did I ever receive a reply to my letter? No. 

My next step?? Beats me. 

Does anyone have a suggestion? Email it to Rick Archer, dance@ssqq.com 
………………………………
 
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