The March
2009 SSQQ Newsletter Issue Four
Written by Rick Archer
THE INCREDIBLE SAINT
PATRICK’S WESTERN DANCE PARTY!
Saturday, March 14, 9 - 11:30 pm
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party05.htm
7-9 pm Crash Courses
(Register at the door; it goes very fast)
BEG C&W: TEXAS TWOSTEP - Robert
INT TWOSTEP: CIRCLE TURNS - Linda
SLOW DANCING - Marla (cpls only)
BEG SYNCHRONIZED POLKA - Scott
ADV IRISH WESTERN WALTZ PTRNS- Rick
BEG WEST COAST SWING - Patty & Joe
JOHN PAUL JONES
ALERT: THE IRISH JIG DANCE
That Synchronized
Polka is a fun class. It will be a perfect preparation for the Big
Irish Jig Dance later in the evening… 10 minutes long! Irish Jigs
are polka-rhythm Irish songs that are really fun to dance to. Some
of the songs like the “Rocky Road to Dublin” are pretty fast, but I
have found some slower tempos to use for the Big Dance.
A lot of Irish music
is the same speed as our Western Polkas. However I will be the
first to admit these Irish Jigs have a bounce to them. So if you
feel like putting a hop in your Polka, go right ahead! But the
music is energetic and fun. Even the grumpiest human usually is
grinning head to toe after ten minutes of Irish Jigs!
Someone in class asked
me what a "John Paul Jones" is. This oddly-name tradition is a
Party Dance Mixer. A John Paul Jones (JPJ) is a group dance where
the men and women form two concentric circles. The men are on the
outside facing the ladies on the inside.
While the music plays,
the men circle the ladies in a counter-clockwise direction while the
ladies move in a clockwise direction. During this rotation, the
person in front of you is constantly changing.
When the whistle
blows, both circles stop. Each male is supposed to dance with the
lady in front of him. However, unless the numbers are perfectly
balanced, there is always an odd man out so to speak. However
experienced dancers don't give up that easy. They know that there
is often a potential partner lingering on the other side of the
room. They will move to the center of both circles where it is
easiest to spot a single man or lady to dance with.
Partners will dance
for a minute or so, then comes the next whistle. This second
whistle indicates the two circles need to reform and start a new
cycle.
This system allows 50
men and 50 women the chance to dance with a up to 10 different
partners during a ten-minute John Paul Jones. It is a wonderful
"Mixer" activity, i.e. a chance for everybody to dance with
everybody.
One neat thing about a
John Paul Jones is that even guys with a limited number of moves can
have fun – you may only have a minute’s worth of moves, but that’s
all you need! And even though the Irish Jigs are energetic,
rotating in the circle gives you a chance to catch your breath.
Veteran JPJ dancers
are well aware of the other benefits - the chance to dance with
someone new and break the ice, the chance to dance with some of the
best dancers even if you are a beginner, the chance to ditch a jerk
after the longest minute in your life, as well as the chance to
flirt with dozens of people as the faces fly by in the rotating
circles.
An Irish Jig John Paul
Jones adds a special air of suspense to the evening - you never know
when you might get Lucky!
IRISH WALTZ ALERT!
You Waltz experts will
love this party. I promise this will be the biggest WALTZ PARTY of
the year! For some reason, there is a great abundance of very
pretty Waltz music to be found in these various Celtic music
collections. Every album I buy seems to have at least one marvelous
Waltz. Not only are the songs recorded at a danceable speed, the
lyrics and the melodies are very beautiful. Two warnings – some of
the Waltzes are a little faster than you are used to. And some of
songs are so sad, you might begin to cry right in the middle of your
Triple Twinkle.
By the way, I will be
teaching an advanced Western Waltz Crash Course this same night.
The patterns I will challenge you with Easy the first hour and Hard
the second hour. So there is something for everyone. However if
you are a total Waltz beginner, let’s not try to fake it.
One more thing: Wear
Green or don’t make the Scene. Erin Go Braugh! (Ireland Forever)
Our Saint Patrick's Swing
Dance Party is one of my favorite parties of the year. You can
expect lots and lots of beautiful Irish Waltzes so consider taking
the Irish Waltz crash course!
In addition, a fun part
of the night is an Irish Jig John-Paul-Jones. A lot of Irish music
is the same speed as our Western Polkas. If you feel like putting a
hop in your Polka, go right ahead. Even the grumpiest human usually
is grinning head to toe after ten minutes of Irish Jigs! This is a
fun party so we hope you will join us!
………..
JOY’S BIRTHDAY PARTY
In last week’s issue, I
reported that Joy Al-Jazrawi was having a birthday party at Wild
West on a Saturday night. I added that the whole world was
invited.
Joy’s wonderful sister
Gina immediately got worried. She hadn’t counted on me posting the
information in the Newsletter. After all, it was Gina who had
promised everybody some birthday cake. I mean, Gina is gifted, but
she doesn’t know how to turn empty beer cans into birthday cakes and
feed the masses if you follow my biblical allusion.
So Gina panicked and went
out to buy three more birthday cakes to make five in all. Sure
enough, the whole world did show up. 80 people dropped by to wish
Joy a Happy Birthday, waltz her around the dance floor and consume
the promised cake.
This created some
unexpected benefits for me. The next day when I showed up for my
Sunday Waltz class, Lo and behold, there were three wonderful
scrumptious Birthday Cakes sitting on a table in my room. Oh, the
Joys of Joy’s Excess Birthday Cake!!
I was so pleased to see
my good deed of announcing Joy’s BD Party had been rewarded! So
often all the wonderful things I write go completely ignored, but
this time I reaped what I sowed! Despite the masses of people to
attend Joy’s Party, there was all this cake laying left over.
Sure enough, my Waltz
friends and I happily consumed Joy’s Birthday Cakes for the rest of
the day. And these cakes were BIG cakes. You have no idea how far
these cakes go! In fact, I think there is some still sitting there
if any of you want some.
I am thinking of
announcing another birthday party for Joy soon. I will make sure
Gina knows about it.
…………
THE AUGUST
CONQUEST DANCE CRUISE
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/conquest2009.htm
Since I last mentioned
this year’s Dance Cruise two Newsletters ago, we have added 24 more
passengers!
29. James Culotta
30. Elizabeth
Northcutt
31. Jim Duncan
32. Denise Duncan
33. Gordon Grant
34. Janis Peccia
35. Linda Fleischer
36. Jo Ann McCracken
37. Gareld McEathron
38. Virginia
McEathron
39. Karl RoraBacher
40. Velma Roppolo
41. Lisa Mallett
42. Jon Monteith
43. Linda Wade
44. Richard Greason
45. Toni Maciel
46. Rebecca
Westmoreland
47. Leah Maciel
48. Deborah Jenkins
49. Sharon
Allen
50. Sam Lathrum
51. Vivian Gustafson
52. Steve Gabino
You may have noticed
the last name on that list – Steve Gabino. Steve has agreed to be
our official Cruise photographer and late night DJ.
As most of you know,
Gary Richardson has done a remarkable job filling this role since
2003. But Gary has a problem – he has no one to watch his computer
store while he takes this week-long trip. Last year, Gary actually
had to close his store for a week to go on our trip. In his mind,
that was simply too big a sacrifice to try again.
When Gary read my
recent Newsletter story about The Great Gabino and the wonderful job
he has been doing as our Halloween Party photographer, he felt like
Steve could fill his shoes. I agree!
http://www.ssqq.com/halloween/stevegabino.htm
Quick reminder that
the deadline for Cruise Registration is coming up next week. After
this deadline, there is a chance that Conquest will remove our group
discount and begin to charge the prevailing rate.
I realize in this
uncertain economy, everyone prefers to wait till the last moment on
everything, but there is also something to be said for making your
move now if you really want to go.
From: Marla
Sent: Thursday, March 12, 2009 7:10 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Conquest info
Hello Everybody,
Well, our 2009
Conquest first deposit deadline is just around the corner. Yes,
hard to believe but the registration forms need to be in by next
Wednesday, March 18th. We recently added 23 people to our group
since the last posting.
We are currently up to
53 people who will be enjoying the beautiful Western Caribbean on
Carnival's fabulous Conquest from August 23rd through August 30th.
Our annual cruise event is a week-long party that is surely not to
be missed!
Be sure to schedule your vacation time accordingly, and then either
email or fax me your registration form so you can join us for
another fun-filled week of adventures as we dance our way across the
Caribbean Sea.
Don't miss out on all
the fun!
Marla Archer
marla@ssqq.com
…………………………………
POT CAVE
A couple years ago, I
wrote a story about a Pot Cave in Tennessee. To my surprise, my
story became a huge Internet favorite. I ended paying a couple
hundred dollars in Web Site surcharges because the whole world
clicked in to read my story.
The story involved these
crooks who converted a cave into a massive underground marijuana
farm. Now for those of you who are not A&M graduates, one major
component for growing dope is LIGHT. And there ain’t much of that
in caves.
Well, the pot farmers
installed grow lights. BIG GROW LIGHTS! Suddenly they were paying
a small fortune in electrical bills which cut down on their illegal
profits. Then they had a bright idea. Why not tap into the power
lines illegally and get some free juice? Brilliant!
Except that the power
company noticed it was losing a lot of power somewhere. Plus there
were bizarre fluctuations in the power grid. So they got nosy.
You guessed it… the
criminals got caught because they were too cheap to pay for the
electricity!
Here is a recent letter
on the story:
From: E
Sent: Sunday, March 08, 2009 12:00 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: pot cave
I love this story!!!
The thing that gets me no one thought of getting their own
generator??
Heck, I have 2 generators and I'm just a carpenter.
I think it is
hysterical to see a smaller crime lead to the big crime being
busted. LOL!
Thanks for your great
writeup!
RICK ARCHER’S NOTE:
Can any of you explain why the generator idea wasn’t any good? I am
guessing the gas to run these generators would have cost more than
the electricity, but maybe some of you can explain it better. After
all, I may be weird, but I don’t have a criminal mind.
Go read
POT CAVE
………………
FIFTH GRADE MATH QUIZ
REVISITED
You all had a lot of fun
trying to solve last week’s math puzzle about the cats on the bus.
Out of the 20 people who
responded, 9 got it right on the first try. That’s a lot better
than I did… I solved it on my fourth try a year ago and on my second
try last week.
We have some very smart people around here.
It is kind of upsetting
to realize how much smarter all of my dance students are than I am,
but on the bright side I now have a wonderful pool of people to
consider hiring as Registrars.
…………
SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND
ROMANCE: OLGA BOCHAREVA AND LUIS CASTILLO GET MARRIED!
Olga and Luis are both
SSQQ Salsa Instructors. Luis Castillo has been at the studio since
2001. He caught the rise of Salsa here in America all the way back
to the “Living La Vida Loca” days. Luis began teaching Cumbia and
Merengue for us in 2003.
Olga Bochareva came to the US from Russia. She began taking Swing
classes here at the studio in the summer of 2005 and soon moved over
to Salsa. I believe Olga became an Assistant Instructor here in
late 2006. I am really happy that the studio was able to help these
two special people find each other!
As I have pointed out many times, one of the fastest ways to get
married in the entire Universe is to become an SSQQ dance
instructor. The recent wedding of Leo Skiba plus the upcoming
wedding of Gerry Frances plus the recent engagement of Loni Lewellyn
underscores this point dramatically. So when you have not one, but
two instructors who are single, you are definitely daring Cupid to
make a move. Luis and Olga’s wedding is simply the latest story in
a long line of SSQQ instructors to find love on the dance floor.
(see pictures from
Luis and
Olga’s Wedding)
As you all know, Salsa
has been the top program at SSQQ for most of the 2000s. Linda Cook
has done an admirable job of keeping the energy high for all these
years. Linda took over guiding the Salsa program from my ex-wife
Judy in late 2004. Since Judy had built our Salsa program from
scratch, at the time we all wondered if the bonfire was about to go
out. To our delight, Linda made the program even bigger.
People often ask me, “Rick, Salsa is your biggest program. Why
don’t you teach Salsa?”
Linda is much more easygoing than I am. Her laid-back approach is
probably the right touch for the Salsa crowd. When I look at all
that energy, I figure Linda must be doing a pretty good job. Since
I am such a control-freak, I have little doubt I would stick my nose
in there and mess things up. So I step aside to let Linda work her
wonders. As I watch things from a distance, I can’t help but be so
proud of what Linda has accomplished! All the credit goes to Linda
plus help from the great instructors like Steve, Jim, Jill, Maureen,
Martin, Dakota and the many others who make it all happen.
The downside of this hand’s-off arrangement is that I don’t get any
gossip about the SSQQ Salsa community. They have a lot of fun and
they don’t talk about it to me. I hear stories of wild Salsa
parties that go on to the early hours of the morning… maybe it is
better that I don’t know.
When I find out that Luis
and Olga are getting married, I am practically the LAST PERSON at
the studio to know. This explains why I have no juicy details to
share other than Luis and Olga are off somewhere on a honeymoon
cruise.
The one thing I know for
sure is that all this Salsa dancing will inevitably lead to
something called “Romance”. You simply cannot have all these
beautiful women moving their bodies to the fast, pulsating Salsa
beat and not get the blood boiling in the men. These guys become
easy prey for Cupid’s darts.
March 2009 marks the
third Anniversary of the SSQQ Matchmaker Story. SSQQ has quite a
reputation for creating marriages. The Matchmaker Story is the
article I wrote that actually explained the reasons behind the
studio’s legendary success. At the time, I was worried that talking
about this phenomenon might actually damage the subtle magic behind
it. I shouldn’t have been so fearful. I am proud to announce that
counting Luis and Olga’s wedding, we have had 46 SSQQ marriages
since I first wrote the story three years ago.
Obviously the Magic lives on!
In the "Matchmaker" story, I explained the recipe for how Dance
leads to Romance.
For those of you who
have been too busy to read the entire article, I will give you a
brief synopsis.
Dancing turns out to
be a simple, graceful way to get to know people with their guard
down. in a relaxed setting. For a variety of reasons, SSQQ has
always seemed to attract a high number of intelligent, educated,
down-to-earth people. With such a large group of talented people, it
is easy to find any number of people who have a lot of things in
common with you besides dancing.
At SSQQ, you can take
a class with someone, dance with him or her at Practice Night, and
strike up a conversation at Break or after class. Talking to
strangers is always difficult, but it is much easier when you have a
common reference point like dancing and the studio to start with.
It is important to
note that if you were to meet the same person in a club, it would be
much more difficult to start a conversation. As I said, SSQQ has a
way of putting people at ease. It is a natural setting as opposed
to an artificial, forced environment like a club where the pressure
is on to 'make a move' or 'come up with a good line'.
The next step is the
art of dance itself. After a simple invitation to dance is
accepted, once you put a man and woman in each other's arms, you
allow chemistry to begin. You have eye contact. You have a smile.
You have touch. Your senses and instincts go to work immediately.
Who you see is who you
get. You have a person right in front of you who will not airbrush
their picture, doctor their profile or lie about their age and
weight. You don't have to respond to 15 Internet ads. Nor do you
have to e-mail back and forth to negotiate the complicated first
meeting.
This is a living,
thinking human being who has signaled interest in you by agreeing to
share a dance.
Cupid's magic starts
to work immediately.
Not my magic, but
Cupid's magic.
……………..
More about
the Matchmaker Article:
In Chapter One titled
"Discovery", I talk about how absolutely stunned I was the day
before the start of the new Millennium. This was the moment when I
first grasped how effective the dance studio was at creating
marriages and engagements. Up till now I had a hunch the studio was
good at connecting people, but I had never looked at the complete
picture before. This moment literally took my breath away.
In Chapter Two titled
"Turf", I explain the connection between dance and romance in
greater detail. I begin to explain in general why dancing is so
effective at creating romances. Then I go into specific stories
about several former students and the lessons they taught me along
the way.
For example, I talk
about the concept of how "Marriage is the Death of Dance".
I explain how people
grow more confident through dancing and actually make themselves
more attractive to the opposite sex in the process.
I explain how the
dance studio can actually help people recover from a broken heart
through dancing.
And I discuss the
issue of whether SSQQ is a dance studio or a singles group.
In Chapter Three
titled "The Eighties, I start telling the background of the SSQQ
Social Program. I talk about how the movie "Urban Cowboy" got the
ball rolling even more effectively than "Saturday Night Fever".
Then I talk about how
my bizarre 1986 Streak where I went Whip Dancing 201 nights in a
row. This strange time in my life actually created so much energy
that several marriages and several Texas State Dance Championships
were the end result. You will just have to read it to believe it.
My story on the
Eighties at SSQQ includes the tale about the wackiest character in
the studio's long history, how the loss of two key leaders nearly
crippled the studio, about the woman who saved the studio, about the
time I lost an entire dance class to another dance studio, and how a
computer chess game saved me from a descent into madness.
In Chapter Four titled
"The Nineties", I talk about the Studebaker Days, how the
instructors replaced the students as the new studio "In Crowd",
about a long list of dance instructors who parlayed their dance
skills into marriages, and about the studio's slow but steady
erosion into a mere shell of its former self.
In Chapter Five titled
"The Comeback Kids", I write about a man with amazing charisma and
the people around him who spun the studio inside out, upside down,
and turned the whole place around. I talk about how three leaders
put the studio on their backs and turned the studio absolutely on
fire as the Millennium approached. And I mentioned a small
contribution that I made that would pay off in a big way further
down the road.
In Chapter Six titled
"Millennium Madness", I talk about the fever pitch at which people
started to get married at SSQQ. I write about an amazing moment in
studio history when three female instructors all got married on the
same day. Then I discuss the problem known as "Flying under the
Radar" which prevents me from knowing the true number of SSQQ
marriages.
In Chapter Seven
titled "Love Boat", I talk about two important individuals who made
contributions that transformed the studio and how the eight SSQQ
cruises have resulted in a phenomenal number of marriages and
relationships. I talk about why SSQQ Slow Dance and Romance Magic
becomes even more effective out on the high seas. I conclude the
chapter with advice on three very important subjects:
Participation, Community, and Contribution. You will enjoy this
chapter.
In Chapter Eight
titled "Bon Voyage" I discuss my theory that one reason Ballroom may
be making a comeback is due a growing desire to see more "Glamour"
in our lives. Nothing wrong with tee-shirts and blue jeans of
course, but once in a while wouldn't it be nice to dress up and go
to a beautiful dinner club and dance the night away to an
orchestra?
In this chapter, I
discuss the amazing effect that SSQQ cruises have had on our studio
and how the new studio "In Crowd" has grown to include not only the
instructors, but a long list of "Usual Suspects" and other
celebrities from our cruises.
I conclude the chapter
with speculation about where the studio is headed plus a fetching
vision of what might lie ahead for the cruise program.
I hope you all will
take the time to learn about the history of how SSQQ became the
Romance Center of Houston, Texas. It is a pretty neat story.
THE
MATCHMAKER
…………
FOLLOWUP ON THE
ALCOHOL RANT
Did you know that two
people accused me of actually writing that preposterous letter from
last week’s Newsletter? Did you know that one of those people was
my own wife?
My question is: I
realize you all think I am weird, but do you really think I am THAT
WEIRD? I mean, that woman was very disturbed. Now I am worried
what you must think of me.
So my attitude is this:
If you are going to openly speculate that I am really weird, then
that gives me permission to include some really weird stuff in the
Newsletter. I mean, if your opinion of me is THAT LOW, then maybe
I should do something really awful to justify it. So I have decided
to print something that is really awful.
READ THIS AT YOUR OWN
RISK (Warning: This joke is in very poor taste)
Contributed by anonymous
A man is waiting for wife
to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son
was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head!
What a tragedy! But the
dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion.
After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes
him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him for
facing his handicaps and making the best of them.
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With the
entire group of bar patrons looking on and the bartender shaking his
head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
The alcohol has a bizarre
effect on the poor boy. He struggles and twitches, then suddenly…
Swoooop! A torso pops
out! The boy had a body all along… it was just trapped inside!
The bar is dead silent;
then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son
to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The
bartender still shakes his head in dismay. He is sure nothing good
is going to come of this.
Swoooop! Two arms pop
out. Unbelievable.
The bar goes wild. The
father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons
chant "Take another drink"! The bartender goes to the back of the
bar and crosses his arms. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with
his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last
of it.
Swoooop! Two legs pop
out.
The bar is in chaos. The
father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands
up on his new legs and stumbles to the left....then to the right....
then lurches out of control through the front door, into the street,
where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief.
The bartender sighs and
frowns, "That boy should have quit while he was still a head."
………….
ANOTHER BIZARRE LETTER
RICK ARCHER’S NOTE: Now
that I realize you all secretly think I make this weird stuff up, I
think I will publish some of my poetry, but pretend it isn’t mine.
Yes, it is true I write sensitive poetry all the time. That’s what
I do with all my free time. But I am afraid you will laugh at me if
I tell you I wrote it. I am tender, so it would hurt me if you
laughed at my poetry.
So I think I will print some of my poetry, but pretend it is another
Bizarre Letter sent to me by a dance student. Now mind you, I
really wrote this myself.)
-----Original
Message-----
From: A
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2009 1:34 PM
To:
onlineregistration@ssqq.com
Subject: Re: SSQQ Online Registration Confirmation for A
I really hope that my
shoes are in the car
Maybe I picked them up
and then put them
Down somewhere else
but I am worried bc
I have really really
uncomfortable shoes on
And I just am not
going to be able to dance
In them
WTF is up with
switching partners?!?
I don't want to be
dancing with a bunch of
Strangers the whole
point is that we are supposed
To be doing this
together I don't think I should
Be required to dance
with just any guy
I am not so sure about
this now
What do think about
this?
Love
Me and baby
……………….
ANOTHER SICK JOKE: THE OCTOMOM!
From: Judy Walsh
Sent: Tuesday, March 03, 2009 3:32 PM
To:
Subject: Best Octomom Joke
I'm sure you all know
who the "Octomom" is. She is the brilliant lady who has twice
undergone in vitro because she likes having kids.
Most recently she had eight babies (hence the title "Octomom") and
prior to that she had six babies.
This woman has no job, no means of income whatsoever, and just is
creating lots of little welfare recipients. Anyway, I heard this on
the way to work this morning and it cracked me up. So, enjoy….
“Did you hear
that Denny's has put out a new breakfast item called the "Octomom
Special".
It comes with fourteen eggs, no sausage, and the guy at the next
table gets to pay the bill!”
SPEAKING OF OCTOMOM, THIS IS A MUST-SEE VIDEO
Contributed by Jim Dulaney
See
it this very minute before they take it off the air.
……….
11 MOST EXPENSIVE
DISASTERS IN HISTORY
Contributed by Chris Holmes
Okay, you have
definitely heard of most of these events. The Titanic is on the
list. Exxon Valdez makes the list. So what other disasters are
included? Think ahead of time. See if you can anticipate at least
five more of the disasters on the list ahead of time.
It shouldn’t be that
hard. I have heard of every one of them but two.
http://ssqq.com/archive/disasters.htm
……………..
JOKES OF THE WEEK
THE RESTROOM
Contributed by Tresa Frazier
Traveling down the
interstate and needing to use the restroom, I stop at a rest area
and head to the restroom.
I was barely sitting
down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to
start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into
me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"
And the other person
says:
"So what are you up
to?"
What kind of question
is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you,
just traveling through!"
At this point I am
just trying to get out of here as fast as I can when I hear another
question.
"Can I come over?"
Ok, this question is
just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end
the conversation. I tell them:
"No..I'm a little busy
right now!!!"
Then I hear the person
say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to
call you back on the cell. There's some
idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!"
………….
IRISH BOASTING
Contributed by Anita Williams
A good Irish man, John
O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening
they were hitting the Guinness Stout and having a contest at who
could make the best toast.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life Between the legs of me
wife!"
That won him the top
prize for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his
wife, Mary, "Guess what? I won the prize for the best toast of the
night."
She said, "Aye, and
what was your toast?"
John hesitated for a
moment, then said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life Sitting
in church beside me wife."
"Oh that is very nice
indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day Mary ran
into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. When he
saw Mary, the man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize
the other night with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye and I
was a bit surprised meself! You know, he's only been there twice!
Once he fell asleep
and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!"
St.
Patrick's Day Quiz ANSWERS
Erin Go Bragh!
You got 7/10 correct.
Good Score! Now go Challenge a
Friend!
(Rick Archer’s Note:
I admit I guessed on every single question. I did okay. I think it
is because Disney’s “Darby O’Gill and the Little People” was my
favorite movie as a kid.)
1 - You were Incorrect
The correct answer: D All
of the above
Your answer: C Driving
the snakes out of Ireland
St. Patrick's Day is a
holiday honoring Patrick (389?-461?), the patron saint of Ireland,
also called the Apostle of Ireland. It is celebrated annually on
March 17, his feast day and the anniversary of his death. St.
Patrick was a missionary who worked to convert the people of Ireland
to Christianity; he was appointed successor to St. Palladius, first
bishop of Ireland, sometime after 431. His use of the three-leafed
shamrock to explain the doctrine of the Trinity led to its being
regarded as the Irish national symbol. He is also credited with
having driven the snakes out of Ireland.
2 - Correct!
The correct answer: B
Ireland's lush landscape
Your answer: B Ireland's
lush landscape
Green, the national color
of Ireland, symbolizes the Emerald Isle's lush landscape. A popular
tradition of St. Patrick's Day is to wear green clothing -- and for
reasons unknown, those not sporting green get pinched by those who
are.
3 - Correct!
The correct answer: D
Boston
Your answer: D Boston
The first St. Patrick's
Day parade in the United States was held in 1737 in Boston --
organized by the Charitable Irish Society of Boston, the oldest
Irish society organization in the Americas (founded in 1737). More
than 100 U.S. cities now hold St. Patrick's Day parades and
festivals. New York City's parade, which began in 1762, is one of
the biggest. It marches up Fifth Avenue and traditionally stops at
St. Patrick's Cathedral.
4 - Correct!
The correct answer: B
Shoemaker
Your answer: B Shoemaker
In Irish folklore, a
leprechaun (from the Old Irish "lobaircin," or "small bodied
fellow") is a mischievous little male fairy with magical powers who
has a hidden pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. A leprechaun
usually works as a shoemaker or cobbler. Leprechauns actually had no
relation to St. Patrick's Day until sometime after 1959, when Walt
Disney Studios released "Darby O'Gill and the Little People." The
film introduced America to a happy and funny leprechaun, rather
unlike the crabby little fairy of Irish folklore. The cheerful
leprechaun soon became a symbol of both St. Patrick's Day and
Ireland in general to American audiences.
5 - You were Incorrect
The correct answer: C
Cabbage
Your answer: B Turnips
In Ireland, St. Patrick's
Day is an important religious holiday celebrating the conversion of
the Irish to Christianity. Many enjoy a traditional meal that
includes colcannon -- boiled potatoes and cabbage mashed together
with butter. The day is also seen as a reprieve from the sober weeks
of Lent, and adults may drink a pint of ale (called "drowning the
shamrock") and allow their children some candy. Businesses are
closed, except for some restaurants and pubs. People attend church
services honoring St. Patrick and learn about his life. Many Irish
people wear sprigs of real shamrock and greet each other by saying,
"Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig oraibh," or "May the blessings of St.
Patrick be with you."
6 - Correct!
The correct answer: B
Little clover
Your answer: B Little
clover
The shamrock is from the
Irish "seamrog," meaning "little clover." It is the common name for
any of several trifoliate clovers native to Ireland. The shamrock is
the national symbol of Ireland -- most shamrocks, especially the
rare four-leaf clover, have been considered by the Irish as good
luck symbols since earliest times. Shamrocks or various
representations of the plant are worn by celebrants on St. Patrick's
Day. The hop clover is widely accepted as the original shamrock
picked by St. Patrick.
7 - Correct!
The correct answer: B
Sláinte!
Your answer: B Sláinte!
On St. Patrick's Day, if
you are lucky enough to be having a tasty pint of stout or lager at
an Irish pub, the perfect toast would be "Sláinte!" (Irish for
"Cheers!" or "Toast!"). Otherwise you would be toasting with
"Sandwich!" ("Ceapaire!"), "Sweater!" ("Geansaí!") or "Computer!" ("Ríomhaire!").
Many Irish-themed pubs in the United States, just for the special
St. Patrick's Day holiday, go as far as serving green beer -- beer
with a few drops of green food coloring added.
8 - Correct!
The correct answer: A
Dyeing the Chicago River green for a day
Your answer: A Dyeing the
Chicago River green for a day
A popular St. Patrick's
tradition since 1962 has been dyeing the Chicago River green for a
day. The idea came to Stephen Bailey -- business manager of the
Chicago Journeymen Plumbers Local Union #110 -- when he was
approached by a plumber whose coveralls were covered with green dye.
This dye, a perfect "Irish green" to Bailey's eye, was originally
used to detect the illegal dumping of sewage into the river. After
some experimentation and trial and error, Chicago now uses 40 pounds
of a vegetable-based, non-polluting green dye to turn its river
green. The Sears Tower antennas have been illuminated with green
lights for St. Paddy's Day since 1997.
9 - Incorrect
The correct answer: D
2004
Your answer: B 1967
Baseball's Boston Red
Sox was the first team to play in green jerseys to mark St.
Patrick's Day in 2004 (their socks, however, stayed red). The "Luck
o' the Irish" must have been with them, for 2004 proved to be a
banner year for the Red Sox. Their 98 wins in the regular season
were followed by a history-making American League Championship
series, when they overcame a 3-0 deficit to the Yankees, beating
them in seven games. The Red Sox became the first team in Major
League Baseball history to recover from a 3-0 deficit. The pot of
gold was a Red Sox World Series championship -- their first in 86
years.
10 - Correct!
The correct answer: C
Montserrat
Your answer: C Montserrat
The Caribbean island of
Montserrat -- along with the Republic of Ireland and the Canadian
province of Newfoundland and Labrador -- is one of the three places
in the world where St. Patrick's Day is an official public holiday.
In Montserrat, March 17 also commemorates the martyrdom of those who
died in a failed slave uprising in 1768, when African-Montserratian
slaves revolted against the island's Irish plantation owners.
Montserrat, the "Emerald Isle of the Caribbean," hosts a week-long
celebration of the St. Paddy's Day holiday.
AND THAT’S A WRAP FOR
THIS ISSUE! This issue was only 20 pages long. Thank you for
reading to the bottom, although I realize that probably only Conor
O'Muirgheasa and Diane Murrell made it this far. They wanted to be
sure some stupid Texas Boy like me didn’t beat ‘em at their own
quiz.
And did Cher make it this
far? Very unlikely. She is still probably watching the Octomom
video.
See y’all at the Irish
Western Party on Saturday!
Rick Archer