party at Casa Mark had given me other things to think about.
There were many people there, maybe 50 or 60 after adding up all the
people who had dropped by.
And yes, there had been many women at the party just as Mark had promised. Most of them were obvious lesbians, but
were three or four women I wasn't so sure about.
example, what about Mariah? The book was out on her. And
what about that shy girl I had asked to dance at the end of
the party? She had blushed just like a girl would react to an
offer from a
man whose request pleased her. The girl had smiled appreciatively,
then offered me her hand to help her out of her seat. She seemed
genuinely happy to be asked to dance. If I didn't know better,
that girl seemed 'straight'. What was the story
Second Casa Mark party, I looked for the shy girl without luck. Oh well.
I didn't let that stop me. I was on a mission. This time I wasted no time
looking for someone else to dance with. Where's Donna?
walked around the house looking for potential dance partners, I
older women named Jill and Lucy at the buffet table.
Pretending to show interest in the food, I listened to
their conversation and decided they were probably straight.
They seemed harmless enough, so maybe I could ask them to dance.
Jill and Lucy noticed me
paying attention to their conversation and asked who I was.
One thing led to another and pretty soon I was dancing with both of
them at the same time. The nice thing about Freestyle is that
three is not a crowd.
Jill and Lucy were not exactly my type.
They were both quite plump and quite plain. They both wore unflattering
oversized dresses to disguise their roundness. I didn't care
about their appearance. I liked them because they were
funny and friendly in a non-threatening way. They were both very sarcastic and knew how to make me
laugh. I could not believe some of the things that came out of
Pretty soon I was making
the wisecracks too.
Even some of the men who overheard our conversation laughed.
The swimming pool conversations had prepared me well for gay-speak.
I was starting to feel right at home here at Casa Mark.
I fell silent for a moment. This was the first time I had
laughed since Rachel left. These two women
were bringing me out of my shell and I loved them for it.
The three of us danced all night long. At the end, noting our
15 year age difference, Jill said
she was thinking about adopting me so I could take care of her in
her old age.
about to quip that incest was best and I could start taking care of Jill
right now, but then I bit my tongue. Bad
idea. Wearing some sort of outfit likely designed by Omar the
Tentmaker, there was a strong possibility the ample-breasted
Jill outweighed me considerably. For my own safety, I wisely decided to stick to Gloria for
those sort of needs.
next Monday, I asked Mark about Jill and Lucy. He said they were Mariah's friends.
They worked in a different branch of the Welfare Department.
Curious about their 'orientation', Mark confirmed my
suspicion that they were straight.
Mark explained that some
women were just as
terrified of men as I was terrified of women.
That surprised me. I could not imagine anyone
being more scared of the opposite sex than me.
"Rick, you will find there are lots of women
like Jill and Lucy who enjoy
socializing with gay men.
First and foremost, gay men do
not threaten them.
These kind of women aren't sexually interested in the men and
the men aren't interested in the women. They can all have a good time without any sexual tension in the
air. In particular, the girls love the catty sarcasm that
gay men are famous for. They all seem to think alike.
No surprise there. After all, some of the more effeminate gay
men are practically girls themselves. When the gay boys and
the shy ladies get
together, it's Cindy Lauper time... Girls just want to have fun.
addition to Jill and Lucy, I had
noticed two other women at Mark's party who
did not seem to be lesbians either. Mark confirmed I was
right about them too. Like Jill and Lucy, these women were
overweight and didn't seem to care about their appearance. They
wore dresses so big they would have fit over my shoulders as well.
None of them wore any makeup. I guessed these women had lost interest in fixing themselves up,
Dating Game was out of the question given their size. However, they still wanted companionship,
in which case the
Gay Community was perfect. The women appreciated having a fun
social outlet where they would not feel threatened.
"Lucy and Jill are a couple of misfits. They let their figures go,
so now their boobs hang down to their knees and they are too embarrassed to hang out in the Straight World.
Gays have nicknames for these kind of women...
Fag Hags, Fruit Flies, Floor Whores."
winced. Mark was being particularly blunt for some reason.
a Floor Whore?"
Floor Whore is short for 'dance
floor whore'. The women can't wait to get out on the dance floor
along with the men. Just because
they aren't dating anyone doesn't mean they want to stop
dancing. The Gay World gives them an option to party and
ignore the straight world where they don't fit in."
they don't fit in...' There was something about that
expression that bothered me.
Mark was right about Lucy and Jill. As hostile as those nicknames
sounded, there could be no
denying that Lucy and Jill and various
in Mark's group enjoyed hanging out with Mark and his gay
friends. Mark was mother hen to a wide circle indeed. Of the
40, 50, 60 or so people who had floated in and out of his parties over the
past two weeks, I would guess as many as 8 of them were non-gay women.
some of them were bisexual.
Heck, I didn't know. I never asked. What I did know was
that these women seemed to be just as lonely as me. Ever since
Rachel, I felt like the ugly duckling again. Ugly ducklings of a feather,
we flocked together.
Saturday night parties continued every Saturday in December. I was a regular
now and looked forward to each party. Saturdays at Casa Mark
was the only event on my weekly social card other than basketball
and volleyball. Now that I had met
Lucy and Jill, I was having fun.
I felt very much at ease dancing with these
women. I noticed my Rejection Phobia was non-existent when we
danced. Not only was my dancing improving, I was
making progress with my fears of women laughing at me. I blessed Mark again for the
At first I
danced exclusively with Lucy and Jill, but then I
branched out and danced with some of the lesbian ladies such as Donna, my chief of
dance police benefactor. The
lesbian women in Mark's group
me with suspicion. However, once they realized I was a friend of Mark's
and saw me dancing with Donna,
they didn't mind dancing with me at all. They just needed to
know I was safe.
I was so
grateful to Mark for his Casa Mark parties. Mark had
singlehandedly solved my Dilemma.
Prior to Casa Mark, I was upset that I had no courage
to go out and ask some strange girl to dance at a club.
Consequently, since I never practiced my dancing in public, I never
Now the fruit flies and the lesbians
were perfect for my
needs. They didn't want me and I
didn't want them, so let's dance.
My Dilemma was solved! I was finally getting
a much-needed chance to practice dancing
in the Real World.
maybe not the 'Real World', but Mark's dance parties were definitely a step
up from the Magic Mirror on the Wall. Maybe if I kept
practicing in Mark's Gay World long enough, my Magic Mirror fantasies
of beautiful women asking me to dance might come true
and Jill always had a way of making me laugh. One night Lucy and Jill
said the adoption papers had come through. For the entire party, they
announced to anyone dumb enough to listen that I was their long lost son. It was some sort of joke that made
them happy, so I played along. I probably shouldn't have
encouraged them because things got crazier every week. For example,
the following week they
told me after careful deliberation they had decided not to rob the cradle.
They told anyone dumb enough to listen that they were too old for
When I heard that announcement, I raised an eyebrow. Gloria
was older than they were, but that didn't seem to stop her.
I decided I would keep that secret to myself for my own safety.
took the lead.
Lucy and I are positive we could teach you considerable lessons in Art
of Love Making, you are
much too young for us to entertain incestuous thoughts. We
prefer to treat you as our precious child."
I grinned and told them how disappointed I was,
then begged them to
Mommy Dearests, your long-suffering child needs
your guidance in every possible way. I am completely inexperienced with
women. Surely it is okay for adopted mothers to
pass on carnal knowledge."
That cracked them up.
Now Lucy chimed in.
"Oh no, tough luck for
you, Rick, we don't dare cross that line. You are too young to understand
the reasons for our noble unselfishness. We are doing you a
favor by not allowing you to fall in love with us. Once you
enter our love nest, you would never be able to fly away. You would
be unable to break free of our bonds and find a girl your own age.
Due to our unselfish nature, we allow you to remain free to mate one day.
Your children will be in debt
to us as will your wife, so we expect you to name any
girls you might have after us. And maybe your boys too."
replied gracefully. "Well,
I confess I will always pine for both of you. By denying me your
affection, I am understandably heartbroken.
But deep down, I see the wisdom. You are correct, I
find you both irresistible. If we were to touch, I could never
leave your side. I just have one wish... will you remember
girls answered as one. "Absolutely, we
stay heavily involved in the upbringing of your children."
will you continue to
dance with me
here at Casa Mark?"
"I don't if that's a good idea. That is taking a real chance, my son. You must
promise to never touch. Men historically have trouble
keeping their hands off my enticing breasts when I start to turn it on.
Maybe you should just dance with Lucy from now on. She is
easier to resist."
crack earned Jill a well-deserved thump on the side of her head from
girls, act like ladies or I will spank both of you."
said, "I didn't start it. But you can go and whack Juicy
if you want to. She's been asking for it all night."
grinned sheepishly. "That's how Lucy insults me whenever my
mouth gets carried away."
chimed in, "Yeah, plus it rhymes with Lucy. That's better than
admired Jill's generous bosom with a smile.
"Hmm, Bosom Buddies is pretty descriptive, but I do like Lucy
and Juicy better. I don't know, Juicy, I don't know if I can
quit you. You are the definition of temptation.
When you dance, your breasts have a way of moving like an ocean
swell. Knowing how my hands tremble with desire, maybe you're
right. Maybe I should stay away. But I cannot bear not to dance with you. If things get too tough, I will
let you tie my hands."
bondage! I love bondage! Maybe I will forgo my vows
of chastity and let you molest me a little. That will give
me an excuse to tie your hands and then we will really have fun!"
it went, back and forth. When we weren't exchanging taunts, we
Lucy or Jill would grab me and haul me out
there whenever a song came on that they liked. I didn't mind a bit.
Most of the time, we all
danced at the same time.
before Christmas, it seemed like the three of us danced non-stop.
After all that dancing, Lucy, Jill and I were spent. No
more dancing for a while. We went outside to sit on the patio
to enjoy the Christmas lights and chat in
the crisp air. Soon the jokes were flying.
quipped, "Good grief, Rick, if you keep making us dance with you, I
may up end up getting skinny again. I've dropped two
sizes since I met you. If I get any skinnier, I am real danger some guy will ask me out. Thanks to you, I may have to
start dating again. Perish the thought."
kidding, Lucy, you look great. Forget about dating.
Just let me know when you're ready and I will
claim you for myself. I know Juicy is off limits, but I might just sweep you off your feet."
so, make sure you land on top or it will be your funeral."
While we were laughing, I was reminded what a mismatch we were.
For one thing, I was 25 and the ladies were somewhere in their 40s. While I
was tall and thin, Lucy was short and plump and Juicy was shorter
and plumper. I noticed Jill and
Lucy had never met
a potato chip they could resist.
Jill made a visit to the buffet table, Lucy
returned to the earlier theme, "You are so lucky Jill and I have taken a
vow of chastity in your regard. One night of hotdog sex and we would smother you
may I ask is hotdog sex?"
are the hotdog and we are the buns."
I grinned at the
Caught between the Plumpettes was at best a remote
possibility given my lack of interest, but it was still amusing to
towered over them, we were an odd threesome to be
sure. So what? We liked each other and
that was all that mattered.
funny thing is that we never met beyond Mark's parties. I
didn't know a thing about their private lives. Heck, I didn't even have their phone
number. All I knew was that we had a standing Saturday night
date so we could dance and talk about sex.
Christmas approached, I had known these ladies for a month. I
decided that tonight I would pry a little. When Jill
returned, I asked, "Ladies, I am curious about something. Can
I ask a nosy question?"
ladies looked at each and shrugged. "Sure. What do you
want to know?"
some chance, are you
two girls an item?"
They both laughed
and said no. Jill said, "We met at work and have been
like each other's company, but
we haven't crossed any lines. Jill's okay, but I prefer
men. However, I
am taking a break for a while."
chimed in and agreed. "I've
sort of given up on men, but
I figure if the right guy came
along, I would be willing to try again. But for now, I am taking a siesta."
Their story wasn't any different from mine. I was in the same boat as
they were. I hadn't exactly
given up on women, but I was definitely taking a siesta
of my own. I saw my friend Gloria Robinson whenever the call
of the wild got too strong, but as far as girls my own age, Rachel had taken the wind out of my sails. For now, I was
content to dance with my roly-poly girlfriends.
whose name shall remain anonymous once said that women who hang out
with gay men are misfits. What do you think about that?"
nerve!" replied Jill. "That damn Mark."
you know it was Mark?"
"Because he calls us Misfits all the time. Mark
loves to insult us."
you have a name for Mark?"
Jill answered in tandem. "Of course we do. We call him 'Mark Malicious'.
Once upon a time Mark was Delicious, but then he turned Vicious.'"
does Mark react to that?"
heck, Mark loves it. He loves to be insulted. But
usually we just call him 'Asshole'. He answers to that
grief. What do you call me
behind my back?"
Lucy and Jill answered in tandem. "You are the Boy Toy."
got to be kidding!"
answered, "No, we're serious. You are still just a baby
plus you're pretty damn cute. Besides, now that you've started to let your hair down a little,
you are a lot of fun."
nodded. I had heard the same comment before. Sometimes
it was hard for me to let down my guard. I silently blessed
the two women. By drawing me out of my shell, they were very good for my Rachel-ravaged ego.
said, "Now it's my turn. Since you
opened the door,
what's your story? I've been dying to ask."
As I explained my situation, Lucy
and Jill were incredulous.
They gasped. "You mean you're not gay?!?! What
about Mark? Aren't you guys secretly together?"
taken aback by the strength of their reaction. Gee whiz, Lucy
almost had a heart attack! I could have said I was
an Alien from Planet Mars and they would not have been less shocked.
Mark and I are just friends. I am not interested. I just
come here to flirt with you guys."
stop it. No fooling now, tell us again that you and Mark are not
that Mark and I are just friends. We have
not had sex. Nor do I intend to do so. I am straight.
How can I think of Mark when you
are the ones I want?"
"Have I ever told you that you're full of shit? If it's not Mark, is there another man in the
listen to me. I
shook her head in disbelief.
knock it off. Tell me the truth and no fibbing allowed. Look me in the eye and tell
me you are not bisexual."
forward till our noses nearly touched. "Lucy,
I am straight. I am just like you. I am taking a siesta from women
just like you are taking a siesta from men."
was Jill's turn. "Are
you nuts? Look at you. You are a total stud. If I
was 5 years younger and 50 pounds lighter, I'd be crawling over you
like horny ants on honey ham. Man, what
in the hell are
you doing here?"
"Don't give us that shit. You're going to tell us the
whole story or we will sit on top of you till you cooperate.
Comply or die."
spent a while covering my ups and downs... Vanessa, Yolanda, Rachel. Lucy
and Jill shook their heads in wonderment.
Now that we had laid our cards on the table, the three of us talked
till the party ended. Lucy decided to take matters into her
"Rick, it is plain to see that you need our help. We will
woman. Jill and I will be your agents.
agreed. "Absolutely. We are
in Mating'. We're going to get you a woman."
laughed. "I'm not so
sure about that. It would do
a lot more for my self-esteem if I could find one myself."
Nevertheless I was amused. The
cracked me up. We had a lot of fun together. Starting
with Mark and now Lucy and Jill, I was becoming friends with everyone in Mark's
group, be they gay, lesbian, fruit fly, misfit, bisexual, or just plain
mixed up like me.
people were nice to me. That was all