Longhorn Jackass
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The Legend of the Longhorn Jackass   

There is a bizarre man known as the "Longhorn Jackass".  He first got his reputation in 2000 by accosting SSQQ women at the Longhorn on Tuesday nights.  After somehow talking a lady into joining him on the dance floor, he would then proceed to make it the longest night of her life.  Unfortunately, women talk and the legend of his adventures has become SSQQ folklore. 

The experience has been described as "worse than child birth".  Even though the Longhorn has closed, this man is still around.  There have been 34 sightings at Wild West in 2003. 

Over the years this guy has drawn a lot of attention. Since my initial warnings, over 25 people have contributed stories.  We have even discovered a Swing guy and a Salsa guy who may be Mr. LJ's cousins!!  All women should heed these warnings!  One woman even went to the trouble of snapping his picture - she had her husband stand next to him in a club and pretended to take the husband's picture.  So devious!!

By the way, there are two very good articles on the SSQQ Web Site that contain chapters inspired by Mr. LJ.   

Advice to Men
discusses the colossal stupidity of roughing women up by dancing over their skill level or leading unwanted "sleazy bar moves".  
The Secrets of Following
discusses dance self-defense techniques including the most obvious piece of advice:  If you feel a man does things that you are not comfortable with, then just walk off the dance floor.


Kathleen Alexander - June, 1999

As you know, Tuesday at the Longhorn is "SSQQ" night. Well, last night seemed like a typical night. Many of us were there, dancing and having a good time. Then came the whip music. Normally that’s no big deal. There’s always a little two-step, a little polka, a little waltz, a little swing, and then a whip set. That’s when I always sit down to take a breather, since I have had absolutely no whip lessons. None. So I was just sitting, enjoying the rest, when a guy came up and asked me to dance. "No, thank you," I replied, "I don’t know how to whip." To which came many "Aw, come ons," and "It’s really easy". All the time I continued to say "No, thank you." He then said, "Well why don’t you just let me show you a few steps." So taking him at his word (what an idiot), I walked to the dance floor. BIG MISTAKE! First of all, those whip sets are long, and secondly, he proceeded to throw me around like a sack of potatoes. I mean, he jerked me up, down, over, and under, and I lost count of how many times my feet came up off the ground! I realize that I’m no spring chicken anymore, but he would have destroyed the joints of a 20-year old with these moves! Not to mention all the nasty, sleazy moves he tried. Every time I would try to pull away from him or tell him to stop he would just laugh and not let go of my arm. When that song was over I just stormed over to my chair and the jackass had the nerve to tell me to save him a two-step. If I’d had my wits about me, I would have ground my boot into his instep!

A fellow from ssqq told me he has seen that guy before at other places and he does the same thing to other women.

Well, all I can say is I felt like whip got it’s name from "whiplash"! I couldn’t even turn my head last night it was so sore. And that’s coming from a woman who went through childbirth 3 times with no drugs - and one of those was a 37- hour labor.! So I am no wuss. (I’m not really sure how to spell that, but I’m still not one!) He just really ran me through through the mill.

Now you know why I just had to thank SSQQ. It is an incredible place for many reasons. But it’s the respect for other people that’s taught along with dancing that, and I think I can speak for many women, that is really appreciated.

 


David Schroeder - November 1999

One Thursday evening we were at City Streets dancing. There was a guy there that usually shows up at Longhorn or wherever SSQQ dancers dance. Someone had submitted an article about him earlier this year. His usual tactics are slithering through a crowd, sizing up victims, and striking quickly. Then he drags his victims out to the dance floor and then proceeds to dance several levels above theirs.

It is a pitiful sight to see! He will do Twilight Zone Whip steps with someone who barely knows Two-Step. He never does the footwork of a dance, just the arm work. His footwork is a simple Step-Step-Step-Step, so he can drape himself around the girl, and touch as much of her as possible.

If a woman were to say, "I’m just a beginner, could you dance at my level?" it would not be heard. He would just continue mauling and touching her.

On this particular Thursday he was slinking and slithering himself through the dance floor. It was like watching a vicious animal positioning himself on unsuspecting prey and then pouncing on them. The attack is quick and clean, but the death is slow.

He found his latest victim and dragged her to the dance floor and began his "dance of love". He had her in Sweethearts and Cuddles and all sorts of neck wraps. She was totally confused and started the hysterical laugh women use when they are overpowered. At one point I thought her arms were going to pop out of her sockets.

The dance set was a long 15-20 minute set of Whip music. The songs went on and on. Her hair was a mess and her blouse was un-tucked. How long could she endure this punishment?

Then out of nowhere a Knight-In-Shining-Armor appeared. A man walked up to him, tapped him in the shoulder and said, "May I cut in?" He took the woman away from him, pretended to dance with her, and then walked her back to her table.

The entire crowd cheered!

Yea for the Good Guys!


Melissa Hogan - May, 2000

Someone emailed me a warning that a student named Melissa Hogan had been tackled by the Longhorn Jackass in May 2000. I asked Melissa to write a report on the event. Rick Archer

Rickó

Gee!  Iím not sure if the guy I danced with is the same one or not!  He seemed a little more -ahem- geriatric than the guy who seemingly tossed Kathleen around.  But now Iím almost curious enough to go back and check it out....  Although, Iím not sure Iím dedicated enough a field reporter as to subject myself to that kind of abuse again!

Thanks for sending the story to me!

Melissa


Ann Bush - June, 2000

I'm sorry to say that Candi Angulo was the latest victim of the Long Horn creep you have written about and I have experienced.  MG and I both saw him approaching our area and as we turned to each other to comment he swooped in for the kill.  I knew she was in trouble when he began whipping to a swing song.  At the Long Horn the one swing song and next few whip songs are run together so tightly that it is difficult to know when one song ends and another begins.  This makes it difficult to stop dancing with the person you are with.  We all watched in agony as she was forced from one sleazy move to another.  Maybe you could reprint your article for those new-comers.


Candi Angulo - June, 2000

As Ann so appropriately referred to the guy ďThe MolesterĒ and I did have a run-in.  He initially came up and asked me to jitterbug.  I told him no several times but he didnít want to take it for an answer.  I was not really in the mood to dance, but I finally said yes which is really unlike me to back down.  Anyhow, the song lasted about 45 seconds and then whip started.  He asked me if I knew how to whip and I told him I had taken basic but that was it.  Well, he did pretty much the same things that were mentioned in the letters shown below.  When he attempted to pull me in close to him, I shifted my body so that he had a difficult time getting me to cooperate.  Had I had my entire wits about me that night (I was really tired and kinda out of it), I would have left him on the dance floor the second he started doing some of his sleazy moves.  I did tell him during the course of the dance that I did not know the moves that he was doing and he proceeded to start calling out the parts I was supposed to be doing.  As was mentioned, the whip segments are fairly long, and I finally just walked off the dance floor without saying anything to him.  It was at that point MG and Ann came up and said something to me about him.  They apologized for not seeing they guy and telling me about him beforehand. 

I know that doesnít give you much more than what you have.  It doesnít look like he has changed his modus operandi any. Thanks for asking. Candi


Angela Dolezal - July, 2000

We spotted him for the first time about a year ago, slinking around Wild West on a Thursday night, praying on innocent victims.  I try my best not to judge others on appearance but he looked creepy from get go with his unbuttoned shirt, polyester pants, and slithering walk.  A thick gold chain would complete his ensemble nicely and would probably get him a bit part on some cheesy 70ís remake.  One night at the Longhorn, he was able to work his Ďcharmí and get one of my friends out on the dance floor.  You would think that a 2-step would be harmless enough.  Guess again.  He was all over her.  She protested, just like Iíve seen many other girls do, but he ignored her.  She finally got fed up and ran off the dance floor.  We all cheered as she walked back to our table.  Iíve done by best at dodging him but he finally snared me one Tuesday night at the Longhorn.  I was standing alone watching the other dancers when he snuck up on me - just like a shark snaring its prey.  Luckily, I knew his history so my guard went up immediately.  Even though I told him no, he tried to convince me to dance with him.  The only way I could shake him was to make up a story.  I told him that I was waiting for my very muscular boyfriend who doesnít appreciate it when strange men ask me to dance.  He eventually went away and left me alone.


Ann  Bush - July, 2000

Dear Rick,

The Longhorn Jackass is about 5í9Ē, medium build, drastically receding hairline, what hair he does have is light brown, pasty white skin and polyester pants with a button down 70ís polyester shirt.  Ann


Shirley Brown wants a Picture!!  - July, 2000

Thanks for the warning, however none of the write ups gave a physical description of the guy. Sleazy and creepy donít count. How about approximate height, build and hair color?   Shirley E. Brown 


Rodrigo Aranda - July, 2000

Wow !! I'm impressed !!

After reading about this guy from the Longhorn, I would like to tell you a story that I've seen in this Latin place named "Elvia's Cantina", there's also a "Molester" there. This monster is an Asian guy that always is trying to invite ladies to dance but the way he dances is very nasty. When he sees his new victim he tries and tries until he convinces her, then poor victim, she has to support him for the next 20 minutes.

He's a tall guy and always trying to speak Spanish, and as I said he's asian and wears glasses.

So please tell the SSQQ community about this guy what I call "La plaga latina". Regards, Rodrigo 


Gary Richardson - July, 2000

I think I know who they are talking about.   Many women have asked me to ask them to dance if I see him coming towards them.   I have watched him on swing dances.   The poor women look like they are being pulled and turned every which way and have no idea of what he is trying to do and he obviously doesnít care...he just keeps going.   I have pointed him out at times to nearby dancers with comments like ďlook at him would you...can you believe what he is putting her through...?   I donít know his name.   But he is balding, gray haired, middle aged and around 6í tall, slim maybe 180 lbs.

I canít say for sure this is the one they are talking about, but I suspect he is.   I will ask Ann if he is.   Maybe you can have these ladies point him out to me to confirm my suspicion.  I have seen him at SSQQ as well.  I can probably get you a name.  

Oh my goodness, the Longhorn Jackass has been seen at SSQQ!!!  Surely Gary is wrong... 


Candi Angulo - July, 2000

Rick,† As best as I can currently remember, he is an older guy, on the thin side, a little over 6 feet. I donít remember if he is partially bald or not but I do know that his hair is thin. The funny thing about this is that the last time I saw him at the Longhorn he was with one woman in particular the whole night. I did not see him dancing with anyone else but her. Of course, maybe they were on a date and she dumped him after having to dance with him all night........Hope this helps. 

The next time I see him at the Longhorn, I will attempt to send you a better description. You know, there are just some things you donít want to keep in your memory bank.  Candi  


Maureen Brunetti - July, 2000

Rick, there is also a Swing Creep to watch out for. The guy owns a trailer park outside of town somewhere. Believe me you can't miss him!

His outfits are outrageous by intent. Large brimmed hats, red duster, red leather shoes with embroidery on them, suspenders, vests, bow ties. He has an endless supply of costumes. 

He's the guy I asked politely to stop crushing my hand and to let go of my kidney. He replied that he was only trying, "to give me a strong lead".( This after watching me dance with a bunch of SSQQ students at Sullivan's Ringside) So, I asked him, "do I look like I need a strong lead????" When he wouldn't relinquish his death grip on me I told him, "we have to stop dancing now because you are hurting me" and I went back to our table. I kept the rose. I earned it.  Maureen 

Rick, there is also a Swing Creep to watch out for. The guy owns a trailer park outside of town somewhere. Believe me you can't miss him!

His outfits are outrageous by intent. Large brimmed hats, red duster, red leather shoes with embroidery on them, suspenders, vests, bow ties. He has an endless supply of costumes. 

He's the guy I asked politely to stop crushing my hand and to let go of my kidney. He replied that he was only trying, "to give me a strong lead".( This after watching me dance with a bunch of SSQQ students at Sullivan's Ringside) So, I asked him, "do I look like I need a strong lead????" When he wouldn't relinquish his death grip on me I told him, "we have to stop dancing now because you are hurting me" and I went back to our table. I kept the rose. I earned it.  Maureen 


Dana Pattison - July, 2000

I don't have recent personal experience with this guy, but I'd bet hard earned money that I know exactly who it is. I knew him when I lived in Dallas. In fact, right after I started whip classes with you he showed up to a Thursday practice night. Couldn't believe my luck. He, too, now lived in Houston. I almost didn't come back. Instead I practiced saying no. That's hard when you want to be polite. Thanks for posting the notice. You've done a service to women.

(Editor's Note - I don't take any credit. I have no idea who this guy is. I am simply passing on the reports).


Terry Hale - July, 2000

Hi Rick-
Maureen first told us about this guy, and since then we've seen him everywhere. There is no mistaking this creep. His trademark is to give each victim a red rose. He may be the "geriatric" one someone referred to , as he's definitely over 65, with a penchant for outrageous outfits such as red velvet duster coats and big hats. He seems to favor swing dancing, but at the rate he goes through partners, maybe he has to hit the C/W circuit too. This one hounds women into dancing with him and then alternately mauls, molests and manhandles them in ways I can only describe as vulgar at best until the tune is over or they escape.

Reporting from the trenches, Terry 

Hi Rick-
Maureen first told us about this guy, and since then we've seen him everywhere. There is no mistaking this creep. His trademark is to give each victim a red rose. He may be the "geriatric" one someone referred to , as he's definitely over 65, with a penchant for outrageous outfits such as red velvet duster coats and big hats. He seems to favor swing dancing, but at the rate he goes through partners, maybe he has to hit the C/W circuit too. This one hounds women into dancing with him and then alternately mauls, molests and manhandles them in ways I can only describe as vulgar at best until the tune is over or they escape.

Reporting from the trenches, Terry 


Kathleen Alexander - July, 2000

Hi Rick,
Terry's swing guy is NOT the Longhorn Jackass, although he really sounds like a creep. The real Longhorn Jackass is probably in his mid 50's, about 6' tall, about 180, is pretty bald on top with gray hair around the sides, and wears glasses. He's usually there on Tuesday nights, but I have occasionly seen him on Saturdays also. He really likes to whip, or should I say whip ass, but he also throws women around in western swing. You very rarely see him dance with the same woman more than once. We learn quickly!! Kenneth told me that a long time ago he even went to SSQQ. I wish I could get a warning picture for you to publish. Kathleen
P.S. Hope this helps

Hi Rick,
Terry's swing guy is NOT the Longhorn Jackass, although he really sounds like a creep. The real Longhorn Jackass is probably in his mid 50's, about 6' tall, about 180, is pretty bald on top with gray hair around the sides, and wears glasses. He's usually there on Tuesday nights, but I have occasionly seen him on Saturdays also. He really likes to whip, or should I say whip ass, but he also throws women around in western swing. You very rarely see him dance with the same woman more than once. We learn quickly!! Kenneth told me that a long time ago he even went to SSQQ. I wish I could get a warning picture for you to publish. Kathleen
P.S. Hope this helps


Maureen Brunetti - August, 2000

Spotted at Sullivan's Ringside last Thursday during Ezra Charles' show. He came and asked Cornelius' friend to dance while he and I were on the floor. I'm glad I warned her (and all ther other new girls at the table) not to accept. Maureen 

(PS - Even though this was a Swing event, Maureen confirmed it was the same man as Mr. Cool LJ.)


Gary Richardson - August, 2000

By the way, he was at the Longhorn last night (Tuesday, August 1). Mitch rescued one of our ladies. She had a horrible experience. After the first song a whip was played and despite the fact she told him that she didn't know how to whip, he insisted he could teach her. She was refusing when Mitch went to her rescue. We watched him go from lady to lady for the next hour or so. He was being turned by all the SSQQ crowd who all know him now. But, he was finding victims from the other side of the club. It was sad watching what he was putting some of those ladies through....

He is the one I thought he was as was confirmed by all the ladies who have discussed him with you. He has been coming to the Longhorn for a long time (maybe years). I have seen him in the past at SSQQ, but not for a long time. If I ever do see him you can be sure I will point him out...along with many ladies, too, I am sure. 

By the way, he was at the Longhorn last night (Tuesday, August 1). Mitch rescued one of our ladies. She had a horrible experience. After the first song a whip was played and despite the fact she told him that she didn't know how to whip, he insisted he could teach her. She was refusing when Mitch went to her rescue. We watched him go from lady to lady for the next hour or so. He was being turned by all the SSQQ crowd who all know him now. But, he was finding victims from the other side of the club. It was sad watching what he was putting some of those ladies through....

He is the one I thought he was as was confirmed by all the ladies who have discussed him with you. He has been coming to the Longhorn for a long time (maybe years). I have seen him in the past at SSQQ, but not for a long time. If I ever do see him you can be sure I will point him out...along with many ladies, too, I am sure. 


Bett Sundermeyer  - August, 2000

I think I've danced with one of the guys you all are calling the Longhorn Jackass. This guy was mid to late 50's, bald on top and graying on the sides. Probably about 6 ft tall. Not the flashy dresser. I think he usually wears a polo type shirt. He didn't do the rose thing or anything sleazy to me. "The Mangler" will however, rip your arms out your sockets and give you whiplash from being snapped around. You will look and feel like you've been on a Tilt-A-Whirl in a tornado when he's done with you. Ever had someone try to FORCE you thru "the tunnel". Gads! You should have seen everyone's face when I came off the floor after "dancing" a Swing song with him! A few months later, another guy pointed him out and laughed saying The Mangler was at it again. He was doing the same thing to some other poor woman. I have since seen him do it over and over to women during Whip and C&W dances too. Oh yea, and apparently he is deaf, because I have NEVER seen him dance to the beat of the music. He is evidently and Equal Opportunity Offender and has quite the reputation as The Mangler in my circle at the Longhorn. I saw him "dancing" with a co-worker one Sat night and he had her arm bent up and behind her back in some weird contortion. When I asked her about it later, she said he asked her to Whip. When she said she didn't know how, he said he would teach her and THAT was the lesson. I've never seen a dance move that puts a woman's arm in THAT position before.

I wish I could give him some SSQQ passes so you guys could straighten him out!!! It would save a lot of poor women out there from being mangled. The problem is, you can tell he thinks he is a great dancer. 

(Editor's Note: NoNoNo...bad idea!  Don't bring him over here!  I want to stay in business.)


Anonymous - August, 2000

Thought I would pass on a little note about our "friend". This guy might be ready to fight next time someone goes to rescue a woman from him. The other night, I was at City Streets with a group of people celebrating Judy Haley's birthday when I saw him literally mauling a woman from the next table. I heard her scream and then saw her run away from him, but he chased her. She was running towards her friends when I stepped between them telling him the dance was now over. Right after the song, he came over to me and we had a very heated exchange of words. He told me that he was a right to assembly to which I told him I did not give a fuck. I told him that he has no right to be hurting the women around here which he is and I am not going to let it slide. He told me to go to hell to which I told him that he will hear from me if he tries to ask any of the women around me. He did not ask any women again in my section, but he still found victims on the other side. We also exchanged hard glares for the rest of the night.

The reason I write this is because I will not be at LH tonight and I would like for you and other guys to be ready. I would have told you this at LH. As I said, if anyone barges in on his party, he may get very irate. I have decided that as long as he leaves "our" women alone, he can do what he wants although I will not like it. When Ann rescued that woman last week, she was not very grateful. 

Thought I would pass on a little note about our "friend". This guy might be ready to fight next time someone goes to rescue a woman from him. The other night, I was at City Streets with a group of people celebrating Judy Haley's birthday when I saw him literally mauling a woman from the next table. I heard her scream and then saw her run away from him, but he chased her. She was running towards her friends when I stepped between them telling him the dance was now over. Right after the song, he came over to me and we had a very heated exchange of words. He told me that he was a right to assembly to which I told him I did not give a fuck. I told him that he has no right to be hurting the women around here which he is and I am not going to let it slide. He told me to go to hell to which I told him that he will hear from me if he tries to ask any of the women around me. He did not ask any women again in my section, but he still found victims on the other side. We also exchanged hard glares for the rest of the night.

The reason I write this is because I will not be at LH tonight and I would like for you and other guys to be ready. I would have told you this at LH. As I said, if anyone barges in on his party, he may get very irate. I have decided that as long as he leaves "our" women alone, he can do what he wants although I will not like it. When Ann rescued that woman last week, she was not very grateful. 


Ron - August, 2000

My wife and I dance at the Longhorn every week...yes, Chester the Molester" has been spotted (but not lately). Perhaps he has found a new place for "fresh" victims. We actually call him "The Shark", as the slithers thru the crowd in a shuffle, never bending at the knees to walk, but glides through the waters like a shark seeking him prey. He has seen us there, as we are on the rail by the floor. He was so sleazy to even wait after 2 hours of my wife and I dancing, to wait for me to go to the restroom and then ask her to dance. She politely said no, and he wanted to know why he was refused. First of all, single or not, she would not dance with him. He gives all of us guys a bad rap with his cheesy, sleazy ways, dress (please ditch the poly slacks) and manners, and molesting (not dancing) with women on the floor. Does he really think that he is God's gift to Women? We watched him about 3 weeks ago with a poor, unknowing helpless victim of 20ish. Poor girl...she will be warped for life.

For you ladies reading this, and for you that know him, PLEASE help out your female friends and all those unsuspecting ladies who do NOT know him, and get their attention at the club and warn them. How about big bold letters on the mirror in the ladies room in red lipstick, "Warning, do NOT dance with this guy" !!

I do truly feel sorry for you ladies who have to put up with that crap. He is a disgrace to the male population!!!! I do hope he will give me an opportunity to "talk" with him or give me a chance to "save" a young lady from the clutches of the Shark's jaws.

So ladies, just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water......and if you hear the music.....Bom......Bom, Bom........BOM, BOM, BOM, BOM......(you know the music...then watch out. He is like Jason on Friday 13th...he never dies !!!!!

Ron


Patrick Steerman - August, 2000

With great amusement I read all of the letters on your website regarding the "Longhorn Jackass". These guys have been around as long as I have been dancing. I remember one, who I will call John (not his real name), who you probably know, who took lessons at every dance studio in town. He would come to the old Wild West and try to dance Whip and Two Step with anyone he could get out on the floor. All women lived in fear of being asked to dance with him. His problem of course was that he thought he was a great dancer. John had taken lessons for years and once told a group of us that Mario, Sr. told him that in three or four months he would be as good as Mario, Junior. So, under the belief that he was a great dancer, John would drag beginners out on the floor and try to teach them how to dance - most experienced dancers wouldn't dance with him at all (Sharon Crawford was one of these).

Since these types are always around, I believe the women writing the letters should stop talking and do something. They have to bear some responsibility for what happens. No one can make you dance and keep you on the dance floor - most of us do not wish to hurt someones feelings but if you dance with this guy a second time or do not walk off the floor the first time - it's your fault. Dance is supposed to be fun - if you are not having fun dancing with someone, just stop and walk off the floor. Better yet, don't agree to dance with the Longhorn Jackass a second time. Some of the letters say that once on the floor they tried to walk off but he would not let them - I have never seen anyone held against their will on the dance floor. They may not want to hurt his feelings but that is what it takes. That is what eventually happened to the guy I call John - few people would dance with him. Many told John that they wouldn't dance with him because he was too rough and didn't lead moves they could follow. This was a surprise to John but when enough people told him this he finally got the message. I know several women instructors who would dance with him but gave him a very frank warning before stepping onto the floor - "If you dance rough and sling me around, I will walk off the dance floor" - he got the message and eventually became a fair dancer.

This is an extreme measure but necessary if what the women say is true. Of course I have trouble following my own advice. There are many women around town who ask me to dance and I do so even though I would rather not. There is one woman who I use to see out at clubs and at C&W and Whip competitions. Since she was around when Sharon and I competed, she always comes straight to me and asks me to dance. She has trouble spinning and refuses to hold-up her own arm. To make things worst, she always waits until the fastest two step or polka. It's bad enough that I have to "drag" her around the floor and cheat my footwork because she takes extra beats to complete her spins, but she does not follow my lead most of the time. She looks at me and says "I like to do that turn - is that okay?" - which is opposite to what was lead and results in a "busted" pattern. I just look at her and say - "sure, that's fine with me". I am polite and dance with her once per night - two if I can't get out of it.

My rule is that I will dance with anyone once a night. I don't care how bad they are, I just can't say no...unless they are too drunk to walk (been there done that). On occasion, I have stopped in the middle of the dance and said something like "We must be hearing the beat differently" or "Sorry, you may not be recognizing some of my leads, let's try again later".

So you might advise the SSQQ women that this problem will always be there - it's up to you them do something about it. Also, since the women say the Longhorn guy was leading advanced Whip patterns from SSQQ, instructors should be on the lookout for him and other "rough" dancers, in class and at practice parties, and try to talk to them about their style and technique - maybe talk them into repeating some classes.

Pat Steerman


Al Bunch - October, 2000

Rick - I've seen this guy at Mo's in Katy, Wild West, The Longhorn and once at City Streets - he really makes his rounds. Then again - I guess I do too since I've seen him at all those places. I haven't seen him at Wild Bills, Red River (formerly Fanny's (formerly Virginia City)) or Dalton's in Conroe. 
He's about 6'1, bald on top with a ring of light strawberry blonde hair, light/medium build and he usually dresses from the 70's. I've been there when he's made his move on numerous occasions - it's not a pretty site. He's extremely persistant and will almost always get -one- sympathy dance.
Be warned though - if you take him up on it the first time, he'll be back. The easiest way is to say no the first few hundred times he asks and then ask the closest person to you to dance (while he's watching). That seemed to work for a couple of the ladies I was sitting with.
I know - it's certainly not in the interest of etiquette to do that but I've heard the stories: 
sore hands, crushed toes, advanced whip moves with someone who just started taking beginning two-step, gropes, grabs, rubs, bumps..the list goes on. 
I bet any of the guys from SSQQ would be more than happy step in and dance with any of the "targeted" women rather than sit there and watch them go through that. I know I would.
Al Bunch 

Rick - I've seen this guy at Mo's in Katy, Wild West, The Longhorn and once at City Streets - he really makes his rounds. Then again - I guess I do too since I've seen him at all those places. I haven't seen him at Wild Bills, Red River (formerly Fanny's (formerly Virginia City)) or Dalton's in Conroe. 
He's about 6'1, bald on top with a ring of light strawberry blonde hair, light/medium build and he usually dresses from the 70's. I've been there when he's made his move on numerous occasions - it's not a pretty site. He's extremely persistant and will almost always get -one- sympathy dance.
Be warned though - if you take him up on it the first time, he'll be back. The easiest way is to say no the first few hundred times he asks and then ask the closest person to you to dance (while he's watching). That seemed to work for a couple of the ladies I was sitting with.
I know - it's certainly not in the interest of etiquette to do that but I've heard the stories: 
sore hands, crushed toes, advanced whip moves with someone who just started taking beginning two-step, gropes, grabs, rubs, bumps..the list goes on. 
I bet any of the guys from SSQQ would be more than happy step in and dance with any of the "targeted" women rather than sit there and watch them go through that. I know I would.
Al Bunch 


Susan - April 2001

We still see the Longhorn Jackass fairly often. Sometimes he comes with a date -- usually ladies with really enormous boobs. The last time I saw him at City Streets, he had a unsuspecting young girl in a short skirt wrestled to the floor with one of his Whip moves. She was so embarrassed, she got up and walked off the dance floor! 

We still see the Longhorn Jackass fairly often. Sometimes he comes with a date -- usually ladies with really enormous boobs. The last time I saw him at City Streets, he had a unsuspecting young girl in a short skirt wrestled to the floor with one of his Whip moves. She was so embarrassed, she got up and walked off the dance floor! 


Bett - May 2001

The guy we call ďThe ManglerĒ was at the Longhorn this past Saturday night (April 21st).  I think some people may be calling him the Longhorn or City Streets Jackass or Molester but I think maybe there are several different guys being described that deserve that title now.  This is the 50ís guy, bald on top with a ring on strawberry blonde hair.  Usually wears leisure pants with a too thin polo type shirt.

He was in top form and obviously thinking himself quite studly that night.

The Mangler managed to get several unsuspecting victims out onto the floor.  Several times it appeared he was ďtryingĒ to do advanced Whip moves on these poor women, although Iíve never seen moves that looked quite like that.  I heard a victim very clearly tell him she didnít know how to Whip to which he replied that he would teach her.  BIG MISTAKE!  The poor woman will probably NEVER want to learn Whip after that lesson.  If he wasnít wrenching her into all sorts of weird positions at break neck speed, he was trying to slither, bump and grind her.  It was totally disgusting.  I believe she left the floor before the song was over.   Another victim was obviously a ďwhipperĒ but couldnít or didnít want to keep up with his bizarre, slimy moves and frenetic pace and not to mention the man could not find the beat with a stick! 

I SO wish that he had shown up the night that Rick was at the Longhorn.

This guy needs some SERIOUS help.

Iím going to have to take a camera to the Longhorn so we can post a pic of this guy and all the women can BEWARE!  :-)


Mara - April 21, 2003

Hi Rick,

One Friday night I was at Wild West when a guy asked me to dance West coast with him. I explained to him that I was a beginner and he replied "me too".

From the start, I could tell that he was not new to this dance. This man tried to lead me into stuff that I have never seen people at SSQQ perform, he tried some sort of neck wrap pattern that I totally rejected because he was hurting my shoulders and he was displeased with my reaction. He said "if you want to stay a beginner, don't try new stuff". 

At this point, I was already upset with him, but I decided to finish the song, then he proceeded to do nasty sleazy moves, dancing way too close to me and whispering something(?). I thought "GROSS"...and I did not wait for the song to finish, but to walked off the dance floor. 

He said "come on let's dance", to which I replied, "hell no". 

I knew this guy was not a SSQQ person because: #1 I had never seen him before, and #2, most of the SSQQ guys are very respectful. After I walked off the dance floor one of the SSQQ dance instructors came to apologize to me for not warning me beforehand and she told me that he was the infamous "Longhorn Jackass. 

As you know I'm fairly new to the dance scene and have no idea of such elements. Normally, I dance with either my class mates or people I met at SSQQ, therefore I always felt "safe"- not anymore! 

I went to your web site and read the articles about this subject, and to be honest, even if I had read it beforehand, it would not have helped. The descriptions on your web site, although accurate, are very average. 

The only thing I can say to all the new lady dancers is that if you feel someone does things that you are not comfortable with, then just walk off the dance floor.


From the October 2003 SSQQ Newsletter:
SSQQ'S KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR: MACK THE KNIFE TAKES ON THE LONGHORN JACKASS!!

Sent: Mon 09/08/2003 10:35 AM

"Hey Rick, just in case you're still interested in Longhorn Jackass stories:

I had an interesting verbal exchange with the Longhorn Jackass last Sunday at the Wild West on Richmond. By coincidence, I was momentarily within approximately 5 feet of Mr. LJ in the Men's room. Mac Riley, on his way out of the room at the time, said hello to Mr. LJ in a manner that I thought was rather friendly. I figured they must know each other. 

After Mac had walked away, the Jackass looked over to me and even though I have never met this gentleman before, he proceeded to explain to me what a bad person Mac was, using the most vulgar terminology possible. 

After listening to his rant, I asked him what Mac had done to him that was so bad, and Mr. LJ said that Mac always "dances with my dates." I found this interesting that Mr. LJ considers a woman who has agreed to a dance to be his "date." 

But more importantly, Mac has a habit of rescuing women from these "dates" they didn't know they had agreed to. I spoke with Mac later that evening and told him that he was a very good man to do what he does. I also noticed that Mr. LJ didn't seem to hang around very long in the presence of Mac Riley."

Rick Archer's reply:

"Is this the same Mac who amuses himself by taking ssqq Halloween pictures to Wild West and showing them to various people?

Are you saying that Mac goes out of his way to dance w/ Cool LJ's victims afterwards as perhaps a way to warn them to avoid LJ?? Is he basically rescuing these women or simply explaining what the score is to the victims afterwards?

I will reprint the story in the newsletter, but I need to understand just what Mac is up to. I also prefer to avoid using your name. Gotta protect my sources!!

The most important point is to warn all women about this predator. And it is interesting to receive such revealing news about a strange man as LJ. He is beginning to sound like a very disturbed man."

Mon 09/08/2003 10:35 AM

"Hi Rick,

Sorry about the delay in writing back, I've been out of town.

You are right that the Mac I'm referring to is the one that has been known to bring his own Halloween pictures to parties. 

He rescues women from the LJ by actually "cutting-in" on the dance floor. This practice is what seems to have gotten the LJ so upset. Mac also apparently warns women both before and after they have been groped by the LJ on the dance floor.

It is rather comical that while Mac sees himself as a White Knight rescuing the princess, the LJ sees Mac as a competing predator. There is no telling what the women think, but I'm sure it's got to be pretty amusing to anyone watching."

 
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