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Ted
Jones
1951-2018
Written by Rick Archer
March 2018
Ted Jones was my friend for 30 years. Sad to say, Ted
died recently in a tragic car accident. Ted's car was
struck by a drunk driver who was speeding and out of
control. It is my understanding that Ted died
instantly.
So how to do I explain my affection for Ted?
Well, for one thing, Ted was extremely easy to like.
He was a very warm person. Ted's sister Linda
McCormick said it the best:
"I
imagine many of you always enjoyed having Ted nearby
because he was filled with such good humor and he let it
flow often with a joke or story or perhaps recalling a
fun memory. Maybe he even taught you to dance. We all
loved this very warm side of Ted.
But did you know that Ted ran with this same positive
vitality around "strangers"? He might be in an
elevator, checking out at the grocery store, or standing
in the nurse's station. Wherever Ted was, he would
let his engaging personality bring a ray of sunshine
into someone else's life.
With his big smile, Ted would say one or two kind
comments and suddenly a total stranger would be
wearing a big friendly smile as well."
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Ted was a very funny guy. For example, at Ted's
farewell reception, a boyhood friend named Bob Bolling told
us a great story.
Apparently when Ted growing up, he had a tendency to
complain. Bob added that Ted complained pretty much 'all the time'. One day
Bob and Ted walked side by side with their Boy Scout troop.
During the long hike,
Ted maintained a running commentary on every single
thing that bothered him.
Bugs. Too
hot. How much longer do we have to go?
Sweating. Feet hurt. Sunburn. Tired.
Hungry. Backpack too heavy. Cramp in the
leg. Time for another rest. Ache in the
shoulder. When is this hike ever going to end?
I want to go home!
And so it went.
Unable to develop that certain toughness inherent to most
Eagle Scouts, any time Ted ran out of new things to complain
about, he would simply repeat the greatest hits on an
endless loop. Ted always had something to say about
whatever he was currently unhappy about. At some
point, Burt Flischman, the scout leader, grew sick of Ted's
bellyaching. The scout leader told Ted in rather harsh
terms to stuff it or else.
Ted was quiet for a while, but about five minutes later, Ted
started muttering something incoherent about 'that stupid
Trub Namshilf!'
Ted's friend Bob raised an eyebrow. "What on earth are
you talking about?"
With a grin, Ted replied, "Hey, that's Burt Flischman
spelled backwards! I can't take a chance of getting in
any more trouble!"
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I first met Ted
at SSQQ in 1986.
Noting that Ted had a real passion for dance, I took an
instant liking to the guy. Ted turned out to be a
pretty good dancer. He caught on quickly to the Whip,
the SSQQ dance fad of the day.
The Whip was so difficult that many people got frustrated
and quit. Not Ted, he stuck with it. Ted had one
special trait... he didn't mind if a girl laughed at him
whenever he made a mistake. Unlike a lot of other
guys, Ted was so easy-going that it didn't bother him
whenever the dance threw him for a loop. He would just
try again.
Ted's warmth, good looks, and gentle nature proved to be a
real plus. The girls could not wait to get Ted out on
the dance floor. Once that happened, his progress
really took off. Pretty soon, even the experienced
dancers took note. Ted's promise at the Whip became his ticket to ride. Suddenly, the rookie found
himself part of the SSQQ in-crowd. The next thing he
knew, Ted was dancing Whip virtually every night of the
week.
Margie Saibara was an important member of a special
group that went dancing together.
Somewhere around the end of 1986 or the start of 1987, Ted
and Margie began dating.
I
am not sure of the exact time, but somewhere around the end
of 1987
the SSQQ Whip Crowd hit a wall of sorts. After I
explained that I had more or less run out of new moves to
teach them, there was a restlessness in the group to find a
new place to take lessons. Since the Southwest Whip Club
specialized in teaching the Whip, it was the logical next
step to see what they had to offer.
I
was deeply saddened to see them go, but I understood.
As a teacher, I had no business holding these people back
from their next stage of development. Fortunately, the
group made sure to return whenever we had a big party at the
studio. I didn't see my friends as often as I wished,
but we definitely kept in touch.
Ted and Margie were part of the group that moved over to
Southwest Whip Club. At that point, they wrapped their
entire lives around the mastery of this difficult dance.
In the process, it was my observation that they wrapped
their entire lives around each other as well. Although
they would never marry, Ted and Margie were always a
loving couple in the eyes of their closest friends.
Constant companions right up to the tragic end, Ted and Margie shared a deep and abiding affection for one another.
Margie spent 32 years of her life with Ted. In his
memory, Margie wrote a very tender story about him.
Margie was kind enough to give me permission to share it
with you.
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Memories of Ted
Written by Margie Saibara
March 2018
SSQQ
Dance Studio
SSQQ
is where I met Ted. I
am not too sure of the dates as dancing seems to have been a
major part of our lives for so long. It was in
the mid Eighties that Ted and many of our friends in the
Houston Dance Community were lucky enough to find their way
to SSQQ Dance Studio located on Bissonnet Street in
Bellaire.
I
count myself among the lucky ones. It was at SSQQ that
I met Ted.
Rick Archer, the owner of the studio, had a unique way of
introducing dance to novice dancers. He made sure we
had as much fun as possible on our journey to become good
social dancers.
In addition to the dance lessons, there were endless
labeling parties, fun nights of charades, Surfside beach
parties, and monthly studio dance parties.
Every studio dance party had a theme and the Halloween Party
was by far the most anticipated of all.
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I
started taking country-western classes in 1981. I
assumed I was only going to take one month of classes, but I
soon changed my mind. Rick had a knack for creating a
spirit at his studio that made it easy for me to make friends. Since
I was pretty shy in those days, this place was beyond
wonderful.
In just a matter of months, the studio began to
feel more like a social club than a business. I became
so close to the people in my classes, I could not wait to
sign up for the next month and then the next month after that.
I
also found myself wanting to meet together more often than just
during the scheduled dance classes. Yes, classes
were great, but more important, I wanted to see my friends.
The camaraderie we had was priceless, worth far more than the price of
admission. I did not want to miss out on a moment of
fun.
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The people I met at the studio developed a 'Calling Tree'.
Folks would leave messages as to when and where they would
be going to dance and invite the gang to come join in the
fun. Soon we were joining one another for dinner and
movies or a long night of dancing at the various clubs
around Houston.
My first month in 1981 turned into a full year. Then one
year turned into two years, two years turned into three. As I slowly came out of my
shell, I wrapped my entire life around SSQQ. I spent
so much time there that the days began to blur together. 1981
became 1982. 1982 became 1983. 1983 became 1984
which became 1985. Those years were a time of endless
fun and friendship.
I
met Ted in 1986. There were some pretty strange guys
in our group (yes, I am talking about you, Tom Easley), but
Ted fit right in. Ted was such a character with his
smile and quick wit, he immediately
became a card-carrying member of this tight-knit core group
at SSQQ. Pretty soon, he was just as weird as everyone
else.
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Along the way, our group of friends became inseparable.
In 1988, 60 of us took a summer trip to the Bahamas.
The same 60 took a winter ski trip to Banff.
I
did not know it at the time, but the people I met during
this period would become lifelong friends.
Over the next 30 years, many people in this group have
continued to take yearly ski trips together in addition to
occasional get-togethers here in Houston.
I
have the world of dance to thank for this wonderful family I
have joined.
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Southwest Whip Club
In
1984, Rick began teaching the members of our group an
unusual swing dance known as the Texas Whip. Some of
you who read my story may have no idea what the Whip is.
The Whip was like West Coast Swing, except the emphasis was
more on the woman's hip motion and not so much on footwork. In the Nineties, the Whip was replaced here in Houston by a
dance known as West Coast Swing. I loved the Whip, but
due the difficulty it takes to learn, I doubt we will see it
again after my particular generation moves on.
I
took three years of non-stop Whip classes at SSQQ and Ted
took for two years. Together we took all the Whip
lessons offered at SSQQ more than once. I guess the
easiest way to put this is that Ted and I needed a new
challenge. In 1987, Ted and I discovered a Houston
dance organization known as the Southwest Whip Club. Eager to
expand our skill and learn more patterns, a group of us moved from SSQQ to SW Whip.
The initial group included Ted, myself, Tom and Margaret
Easley, Carol Gafford, and Mike Fagan.
In a manner similar to SSQQ, after class, the Whip Club
featured open dancing where all the members would come to
dance and socialize. Once we realized Southwest
Whip taught this Whip dance exclusively, we were amazed at
all the good dancers. To be honest, we were very intimidated. For the first month, we
avoided the dance floor. Preferring to huddle together
for security off in the shadows, we wondered if we would
ever be brave enough to join in the dancing. One night
our teacher saw us hiding in the corner and dragged us out
there kicking and screaming. I guess I did most of the
screaming. Much to our
surprise, everyone was so welcoming and willing to dance
with the newbies. Once we finally found the courage to
accept their offers, the concentrated practice helped us learn the
techniques of this complicated dance.
Southwest Whip was originally formed to teach people how to dance
the Whip. However,
the organization also sought to compete against other Whip
dance programs here in Houston in 'City Championships'.
Then there were competitions against other cities,
primarily Dallas, 'State Championships'. Then
Oklahoma decided to join the fun, so now it was 'Regional
Championships'.
Our club sponsored a Novice
Invitational each spring. I was still a bit on the shy
side, but not Ted. A born extrovert, no one was a
stranger to Ted for long. Ted was always ready to
volunteer for anything. Before I knew it, Ted had
volunteered to help with the music, purchase the trophies,
greet people at the door, and maybe even dust the floor if
someone asked him to. Ted loved the place.
Somehow... don't ask me how... but I had been elected
President of the Club that year. My guess is that
everyone else had the sense to say no, so they picked on the
innocent. It wasn't enough that I was overwhelmed with
my responsibilities. As we began preparing for the
spring competition, someone pointed out it is only right
that 'The President' set a good example and compete
as well. My heart stood still. I had not
previously noticed this particular requirement in the job
description. The thought of having to dance in the
spotlight of a crowded ballroom was totally against my
nature. Now I was beyond terrified to say the least.
Ted came to my rescue. Always ready to volunteer for
anything, Ted said he would like to be my partner. That is how
we began 10-plus years of competition dancing.
Neither Ted nor I had a clue where to start or what was
needed to make a decent showing in a dance competition. One evening
at the dance club, a skinny teenage boy nicknamed 'Junior'
walked in. Everyone made such a fuss over him, I was
immediately curious. I said, "Who is this kid?"
Ted already knew the answer. Apparently Junior was the
son of Mario Senior, a leader here at Southwest Whip.
His son, Mario Junior, was said to be a dance prodigy.
Junior had been away at Dallas for the past year learning
more about Whip from a talented teacher named Gary Long.
Ted whispered that even at his young age, this Junior kid
had already won some dance competitions.
It crossed my mind that if Junior was new back in town,
maybe he had some free time to help a pair of struggling dancers.
I immediately assigned Ted the duty to talk to Junior and
enlist his help. To my undying relief, Junior said
sure, sounds like fun.
Mario Junior turned out to be just as talented as
advertised. Or maybe even better than advertised. Over the years, Junior would
go on to become famous
on national and world stages for his excellence. If
you could see him dance, you would understand how Junior
became known as the King of the Swing Dance.
Fortunately, Junior's days of world conquest were still in
the future. The Junior we met was just getting started,
so we were able to form a terrific, long-lasting relationship right at
the launch of his career. To Ted and I, Houston's most
famous dancer would always remain 'Junior'.
We were fortunate that Junior had time to take an awkward
couple and elevate us sufficiently to enter the Novice
arena. After many private lessons and hours of
practice, Ted and I were able to win most of the ranked
novice competitions. However, to my dismay, each time
we won something, they made us move up to a tougher
category. Fortunately, the Whip had entered our blood
stream. Over the next four years, Ted and I danced
constantly and entered more competitions. Finally the
day came when Ted and I entered the 1992 Regional, a
competition that involved dance clubs from all over Texas
and Oklahoma as well.
This was the toughest thing we had ever done.
Ted and I
had never competed at this level before. We knew some
of these people and they were very good dancers. We
were in way over our heads, but the only way to get better is to
keep putting yourself out there.
At this point, we
had enough bumps to our bodies and bruises to our egos to
know this much. Sometimes you don't always win
your first Super Bowl, but the secret is to keep trying.
When Ted and I entered the Regionals, we had the sense to
keep our expectations low. Basically we entered the
Regionals as a way to measure our progress as dancers.
After the
elimination round, to our surprise, we made the Finals.
I recall that we were delirious just to have done this well.
If memory is correct, ten couples competed in the Finals,
but only the top six received an award. We thought we
had danced well and hoped to at least get Sixth Place.
Nope, we didn't make it. Someone else got Sixth.
When someone else got the trophy for Fifth, Ted and I gave
up any remaining hope.
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So I relaxed and
tried to guess who got Fourth Place.
Third Place.
Second Place. As they were about to announce First Place, I
heard someone exclaim, "I don't get it. Who's left?"
Good question.
I immediately looked around and noticed Ted had started
doing the same thing. We scanned all the faces in the
large ballroom and tried to remember who had attended the
Dancer's Meeting prior to the competition.
Neither of us
could figure it out, so we shrugged and laughed. It
never once crossed my mind that it might be us, so I stopped
breathing when I heard the words,
"Ted
Jones and Margie Saibara, Southwest Whip Club, 1992
Regional Champions. Ted and Margie, come up here
and get your trophy! Congratulations!"
Ted and I were
ecstatic. Normally, I am very reserved, but not on
this day. We jumped up and down and hugged each other
silly. This was a wonderful moment indeed. So
naturally someone had to rain on our parade. While we
were still in the process of celebrating, some spoil
sport pointed out that we had been promoted to the difficult 'Open
Level' of dance competition.
In other words,
our Novice days were over. If we wanted to continue to
compete, our next opponents would be past champions.
Considering the caliber of our future competition, it might
be a while to our next trophy. I
decided to savor today's victory as long as I could.
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During the four
years that Ted and I spent working our way through the
various levels of Whip competitions, Junior wanted to form a
performing dance team. Ted and I were thrilled to be
invited. Besides us, Tom, Margaret, Mike, Debbie Anglin and Carol
Gafford were invited. Plus there were several other friends from our days
at SSQQ. Joining Junior's 'Standing Still Only
Faster and Slower' dance team was more fun than any of
us could have imagined. Not only did we continually
improve as dancers under the guidance of this gifted
teacher, I became closer to these people than I ever thought
possible. Oh, my gosh, did we laugh! Junior was a
huge smartass, but then so were Ted, Tom, and Mike. My
sides hurt all the time because these guys kept us in
stitches with their wisecracks.
Our
dance team went all over the place. We performed in
Dallas, Fort Worth, Austin, and of course here in Houston.
Among some of my favorite events were the Tenneco Marathon
and the Houston Freedom Festival. Constantly together,
my teammates became my family.
As Junior's
career arc moved into another stratosphere, more and more
national events took him out of town. The point came
when Mario was gone 2, 3, sometimes 4
weeks per month. So many places to be, so little time. At this point, Junior retired from the
dance team. However, we weren't ready to quit.
Gary Henson, a talented dancer who was part of our team,
asked Ted to help him start a new team. Ted, Mr.
Volunteer, was happy to help, so the team lived on. We
danced at several City competitions and Christmas dance
shows. My most memorable adventure was dancing at the
Houston Rodeo.
The Rodeo
adventure began when our team was asked to fill a 30-minute spot at the
International Rodeo Committee Dinner. Our original
connection was the husband of my sister's best friend.
This guy was
a vice president of the Rodeo and wrangled us an invitation. Ted and I accepted
without really knowing what I had gotten us into.
My first warning came when I discovered my sister and
brother in law were not attending. My sister doesn't
want to see us perform? Hey, something's wrong here,
so I asked why not.
Because the tickets were way too expensive. Oh
great, we would be performing in front of society people,
not the easiest audience to charm. I immediately had
one of those sinking feelings.
Making matters worse, the dance team did not have 30 minutes
of performing material. To complete the show, Ted and
I would be forced to perform individually. Not only
that, we were the opening act, traditionally the kiss of
death.
So how do I
explain how awkward this was? These people have just
shelled out hundreds of dollars to attend a swanky black tie
event. Now a couple of nobodies have just interrupted their
nice dinner. Furthermore, since this was an 'International'
event, there would be many Asians. Oh no, half the people in there don't even speak English. What a nightmare!
First the emcee
tinkles his glass politely. "Ladies and gentlemen,
could I have your attention, please? I would like to
welcome Ted and Margie to the dance floor to perform the
Whip. Give them a warm welcome, please."
Ted and Margie
who? Do we really have to interrupt our dinner
conversation to watch this? Ted and Margie are going to give a Whip
exhibition? Whip? What is Whip? Will
chains be involved? Will there be pain? If there is bloodshed, we
will lose our appetite.
Imagine my
horror. As always, Ted was my hero. I was
panicking from the get-go, but Ted just smiled and calmly
led me through one move after another. I was on
automatic pilot with my eyes rolling up, but Ted guided me
every step of the way.
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Eventually Gary
Henson's team disbanded as well. Sharon Crawford
(Sharon Shaw as of 2005) was our close
friend from SSQQ who taught western classes. One night
Sharon told us about
another dance team that was forming under David and Tracey Appel. We were fortunate to be accepted onto their new
team. We loved the team and met several new talented
dancers in the process. In addition, we renewed our
friendship with Thurman and Melinda Wilhelm from our
days at SSQQ.
Unfortunately,
this team did not last as long as we had hoped.
However, after the team disbanded, Thurman invited me to dance in several Pro-Am
competitions. Thurman was the 'Amateur'
and I was the 'Pro'. No one will ever convince
me I am a Pro, but I was willing to give it a try
nonetheless. The deciding factor came when Ted
volunteered to coach Thurman. What a difference Ted
made! Thurman and I danced in City and State Female
Pro-Am competitions. I am proud to say we were
undefeated thanks in large part to Ted's behind the
scenes help.
Ted's success at
helping Thurman and me was no accident. He was so good
at this that Ted
realized just how much he loved to teach. A special
moment came when Rick Archer caught us on the dance floor
one night. After Ted and I won the 1992 Regionals,
Rick wanted to congratulate us and say how proud he was.
Then to our surprise,
Rick made us an offer. How would we like to come back
to SSQQ and teach an upper-level Whip class? We did
not hesitate. This was like having your alma mater ask
you for a favor. Ted in particular was thrilled.
He poured his heart into teaching. In fact, maybe he cared
a little too much. Ted was always so eager to show
others what he had learned. Quite often, Ted and I
would watch inexperienced dancers make a mistake.
Ted
would see them flub something, then invariably exclaim, "Gosh, I can fix that!"
Ted would not
even know these people, but he was ready to run out on the
floor and show them what their mistake was. I would
grab his arm and beg him not to go.
"Ted, get
back here and sit down. They don't even know
you! It is okay when you are in class and it is
okay when someone asks for your help. But when
people are out there social dancing, they are trying to
have fun. They might be falling in love for all
you know! Cupid's about to shoot an arrow, but
suddenly here you are trotting out to save the
day. Do you really think this is the time and
place?"
Poor Ted, he
would have the saddest look after I fussed at him. I
would see his long face and feel a little
guilty. All Ted ever wanted to do was help.
One of my
fondest memories took place one Saturday night at a dance
club. Heavy and Snowflake were two of Houston's most
decorated Whip dancers. Ted was in awe of their
talent. He bowed any time they came near him.
But tonight, things were a little different. Heavy and
Snowflake caught Ted's eye when we were sitting down and
beckoned to him. Like a puppy dog, Ted ran over to see what
they wanted.
Apparently Heavy
had seen a stranger perform an especially clever dance move on the dance floor.
When Heavy inquired what the flashy move was, the young man
turned and pointed straight at us.
"Gosh,
mister, my girlfriend and I learned that move at SSQQ,
but I can't possibly explain how to do it. Hey, our
teachers are sitting right over there. Why don't
you go ask them to show you the Ted and Margie move?"
So that explains
why Heavy summoned Ted over. On the spot, Ted spent
the next ten minutes explaining the complicated move to Heavy
and Snowflake. Meanwhile I watched with
amusement as Heavy smiled and nodded with approval. Whatever Ted was doing,
he had Heavy's complete attention.
When Ted came
back to the table, he was on Cloud Nine.
"Guess what,
Margie? We have a dance step named for us!"
"What is it
called?"
"Heavy called it
'The Ted and Margie Step'!"
Gee, how
original. But when I saw how happy Ted I was, I just
giggled. Ted was a such a sweetheart. It was Ted's love for dancing that fueled his desire to
share his knowledge with others.
Ted Jones was
the most giving person I have ever met. Everyone
loved Ted. And that includes me.
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In 1986, my
marriage to my first wife Pat disintegrated before my very
eyes. At the time, Pat was a popular teacher at SSQQ
and close friends with many members of the SSQQ In-Crowd.
After an
ugly incident took place at the studio, several members of
the In-Crowd chose to spread a highly slanted version of
the event that cast me pretty much as the villain.
I was horrified
when people I had known for years began to give me dirty
looks. These people knew me! Why would they
believe I was capable of these things being said about me?
Unfortunately,
quite a few people turned their backs on me. I was
absolutely crushed. Immediately I fell into a dark
hole of depression with demons chasing me day and
night. I could handle the demons by day, but the ones
at night were scary.
To avoid going
home alone to a dark house and face those demons, I found a
unique solution... I went dancing every single night after
my evening class ended. At 9 pm, I would ask who
wanted to join me at Cooter's on Tuesday night. Or
Safari Bar Club on Thursday night. Or Four Palms on
Sunday night. Every night of the week had a location.
There
were two people in particular who consistently raised their
hands. Ted and Margie.
It took about
two months for my depression to lift. To my surprise,
I did not want to stop dancing every night. Why? Because I was
having more fun than I could ever imagine. Going
dancing each night meant spending more time with my friends.
Take a wild
guess who else was having a good time? Ted and Margie
weren't going to stop unless I did. Only slightly less
fanatic than me, they joined me 5 nights out of 7. They were not
alone. There were lots of people who joined the fun.
Mike Fagan, Tom Easley, Jim Smith, Judy Price, Diane
Head, Diane Stotz, Michelle Collins, Carl Hruska, Jeri
Hartman, Bob Job, Lester Buck, Margaret Eicke, Linda
Harwell, Rose Brown, Alan Brown, Tom Edens, Jack Austin, Sondra Capraro,
Aimee Atkinson, Jeannie Haynes, Pat Wilkins, Jim Ponder,
John Cowen, Donna Ruth, Jim Felker, Don Scott, Hilary Mears,
Mark Matthews, Craig Mason, Bob Job, Louise Campodonico...
so many memories.
These people had
literally hopped on my bandwagon. Through thick and
thin, these were the ones who stayed with me. And do
you think I was grateful? Absolutely. These
people were right there every step of the way. Not
only did they nurse me back to health, I think they enjoyed
the ride just as much as I did.
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In case you are
curious, I went Whip dancing 201 nights in a row.
Never missed a night, Scout's Honor. The best
part was having my friends dancing right along beside
me. We became a Gang of sorts, best friends for life.
My unusual 1986
adventure resulted in two developments. One was very happy, one
was sad.
As it turned
out, the whole studio had been following the progress of my
goofy decision to go dancing night after night. But it
wasn't just me flying across the Atlantic solo. There
were at least 20 people at my side on a nightly basis,
usually more. Trust me, there were some really strange
stories that resulted from our nightly Carnival. As
the rumors spread, the stories of our crazy adventures
created a fever. Once the newer students saw how good
we had become, suddenly everyone wanted to learn the Whip. Business-wise, 1987 would go down as one of
the most prosperous years in SSQQ history. I could
never have imagined that the ugly incident with my wife
would lead to such an amazing outcome.
1986-1987 marked
the birth of the SSQQ Slow Dance and Romance legend.
This period would go down as a very romantic time for many
of our students. SSQQ was the largest studio in the
city with an endless number of people streaming in and out
of our doors. They took one look at the kind of fun we
were having and instantly hitched their coattails to our
momentum.
The studio was
hot beyond hot. With all these attractive people
dancing in each other's arms, it was inevitable that people
began falling in love left and right.
I can think of a dozen couples whose courtship took
place during this era.
01. Tom Easley
and Margaret.
02. Mike Fagan and Lisa.
03. Steve and Cheryl Racey.
04. Doug and Sharon Hollingsworth.
05. Charlie and Beverly Roberts.
06. Diane Head and Ken Paar.
07. Gary and Linda Kryzwicki.
08. Emily Watson and Glen.
09. Hal and Shelley.
10. Irving Carter and Sharon Winters.
11. Fred and DeeDee
12. Jim Smith and Pat Wilkins.
Let me add that
it was during 1987 that Ted and Margie became
more serious as well.
Sad to say, this
story did not have a happy ending, at least not for me.
I had no idea at the time, but the success of 1986 and 1987
would backfire in a truly bizarre way. I was about to
face the greatest heartache of my life, far more painful
than my 1986 divorce.
By going dancing
with me virtually every night for an entire year, the
members of 'The Gang' had elevated their own dancing
dramatically. Along the way, these
people had become dance superstars in their own right.
Indeed, many of the finest Whip dancers in Houston would
emerge from this group. However, in the meantime, SSQQ
had grown so big that I had no choice but to focus more energy on my
business. Unable to join my friends for a night of
dancing nearly as often as I once did, my dancing failed to
keep pace with theirs during 1987.
To put it
bluntly, the students began to pass the teacher. The
time had come to move on. In order to achieve
their Destiny, these talented dancers had no
choice but to leave SSQQ and move over to Southwest Whip
Club in late 1987. It was the right move for them, but
it was also a really tough break for me. I was the one
they left behind.
I am not going
to lie about it, that really hurt. Although the mass
migration did not hurt the studio economically, I felt
abandoned by my best friends in the world. Thank
goodness for Sharon Crawford (Sharon Shaw). Sharon
knew what I was going through and offered to help.
Mired in yet another deep depression, I hired Sharon as manager of the studio and
promptly retreated to the shadows. Although I
continued to teach, the joy was gone. During 1988, Sharon
basically ran the studio because I was
too full of self-pity to care. I might add that
my close friend Diane Head helped as well. Together, these two
women pulled me through a really tough time. It was due to their
support and kindness that I eventually bounced back.
I always understood
the reason for the migration. The Gang had done
nothing wrong and there was nothing to apologize for.
Unfortunately, that did not stop me from missing them
terribly. I had never been more attached to a group of
people in my life. But you what?
I got over it. Deep down, I knew these people still
loved me.
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The
Legacy of Ted and Margie
As Margie's
story made clear, during their years over
Southwest Whip Club, Ted and Margie made a real point to
remain a part of SSQQ. So did the others who left.
I cannot begin to say how important that was to me.
Even though I knew these people were gaining their fame and
fortune over at
Southwest Whip Club, I never once doubted they were True
Blue SSQQ at heart.
Ted and and
Margie share an unusual Legacy that perhaps only I have
enough inside knowledge to see with clarity.
As I said, due
to the controversy involving my ex-wife in 1986, this was a time when many people turned their
backs. I will never forget that Ted and Margie stuck by me the entire time.
I guess that's how you find out who your real friends are.
In the following
year,
Ted and Margie helped create one of the greatest growth
spurts in SSQQ history. They helped me in all sorts of
ways, but most of all, it was their leadership.
Together with
Tom Easley, Jim Smith and Mike Fagan, Ted and Margie took
the social side of the SSQQ dance program under their wing.
When I got too
busy to go dancing myself, it was my leaders who invited the
new students to join them for a night of dancing. I
can honestly say the prosperity of 1987 was due directly to
the enthusiasm generated by my friends. This was
the time when my studio truly blossomed.
For their
contributions during that special time, I came to see these
people as Founding Fathers of a sort. Where would George Washington have been without Thomas
Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton and Ben Franklin? I can say the same thing about Ted,
Margie and the rest of the Gang.
Once everyone
left in 1988, for a while there I pretended like they didn't
exist any more. However, once I got over my hurt
feelings, I listened to stories about Margie becoming
President and how Ted was host, music man, and jack of all
trades.
One day a mutual
friend pointed out that
Southwest Whip hit its heyday soon after
Ted and Margie arrived. In a flash, I realized this was
no coincidence.
Although Margie
is too modest to point this out herself,
Ted's willingness to volunteer for everything and her
organizational skills were just what the club needed.
That is when
I came to
realize that Ted and Margie had worked a similar magic over
at Southwest Whip. There was not a shred of doubt in
my mind that
Ted and Margie were just as much Founding Fathers at
Southwest Whip as they had been at SSQQ.
I have one final
point to make.
On a personal note,
I grew up as an
only child. After my parent's divorce, my mother fell
apart. Then my father compounded my problems by
forgetting I existed. I basically raised myself
starting at age 10.
Unfortunately, I
didn't do a very good job of it. Always the loner,
I never quite learned how to make friends. This
explains why Ted, Margie, Tom, Mike, Bob and the Gang were so
important. These people were the first real
friends I ever had.
Due in large
part to my array of character flaws, I was not
particularly good at politics with other dance studios
during the Eighties. Competitive to a fault, after
certain people bad-mouthed the Whip dancing of some of my
friends, I viewed Southwest
Whip as the evil empire. They became the enemy.
Due to my loner
nature, I rarely ventured beyond the walls of Fort SSQQ. I think my
tendency towards isolation caused outsiders to view SSQQ
with suspicion as well as hostility on the part of some. Fortunately, the moment Ted and Margie
began to move fluidly back and forth between the rivals,
members of both organizations became more accepting
towards one another.
By the time the Nineties rolled
around, the two organizations were on peaceful terms.
Very few people realize the credit for this should go to Ted and
Margie. I consider them to be unsung heroes
in the Houston Dance Community.
I am
grateful to Ted and Margie not just for their role in
teaching me the meaning of friendship, but for their role in knocking down
barriers. They were both so exceptional functioning as
Dance Ambassadors.
In April 2010, Ted and Margie
were kind enough to join me at The Last Waltz.
This was
the final party at SSQQ-Bissonnet. Ted
and Margie did not come alone... they brought their friends!
To my delight, the
Gang had reunited. Seeing Ted and
Margie, Tom and Margaret, Michelle and Judy was the
highlight of my night. And what did we talk about?
We talked about the time we went dancing 201 nights in a row back
in the crazy days of 1986. That was a very special
time not just in my life, but in the life of all these
people. We shared so many memories.
25 years had
passed since those glory days, but for this one special night we
were all kids again. Those were the days, my
friend, we thought they'd never end. Unfortunately,
now that Ted has left us, I
guess we are not immortal after all.
That said, the
memory of Ted
will remain firm in our hearts. Ted will always be our
best friend forever.
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