SUBCHAPTER 997 - WHAT WENT WRONG?

August 2001, Day Three, Monday, Midnight to Dawn, Return to Cabin after Theater Show

My whirlwind romance with Marla took place over a jam-packed 30 hour stretch.  First came the Fairy Tale Romance which stretched from Midnight to Dawn on the first night of the trip.  Then came the Sunday of Confusion, a series of misunderstandings stretching from dawn till my Dark Night of the Soul that same evening.  Marla's apparent flirtation with Darren at dinner was more than I could take.  Unable to deal with Marla's mysterious rejection, I returned to my cabin and suffered through an hour gut-wrenching pain and indecision.  Finally I rallied enough courage to leave my cabin in search of answers.  To my surprise, the moment I opened my door, I saw Marla just a few stops away in the hallway.  By coincidence, she had left her nearby cabin just an instant before me.  When Marla smiled at me, it was like the sun coming out from the clouds.  Joining Marla for an the evening show in the theater, we held hands the entire time.  However, the ordeal was far from over.  The moment we entered my cabin, we began to hash out our problems.

With a frown on my face, I said, "Okay, Marla, before anything else, where do you stand with Chris?"

"Your behavior from earlier today has left me with a few questions myself.  Before I am able to discuss Chris, I need to know what the heck is going on."

"That makes two of us.  It seems like every time I looked for you, you managed to disappear.  What were you so upset about?"

"The first thing that upset me was when you nervously kept a keen eye out for someone you might know when we returned to your cabin this morning.  You looked every which way.  It looked to me like you really wanted to make sure that no one saw us together."

"Why would that make you mad?  I did that for your sake."

"Really?  It felt like you did it because you didn't want one of your other possibilities to see us together."

"You can believe what you want, Marla, but that is not why I did that.  If someone saw us together in the hallway in the early morning, they would conclude we had spent the night together.  For your sake and mine, I didn't see the point in starting any rumors until you decided what direction to take with Chris."

"That's sure not the impression I got.  It felt like you didn't want to tip off any of your other girlfriends."

"Nonsense.  I had developed such strong feelings for you that the fear of you returning to Chris was already on my mind when we returned to the cabin.  I felt insecure because you have a strange habit of returning to Chris no matter how badly he treats you.  Then you did two things which upset me further.  First you surprised me by saying you preferred to return to your own room, then you gave me a really dirty look after I scanned the hallway.  I had no idea what you were frowning about, so now I was even more paranoid you might pick Chris over me."

"It wasn’t a dirty look; it was a questioning look.  My red flags were on high alert.  Speak for yourself, I didn’t care who saw us together!  After all, I knew practically no one on the ship and they sure didn’t know me!  You're just trying to cover for that suspicious look on your face."

"No, that's not true.  If you went back to Chris, I would do my best to accept you had decided he was the better man for you.  But if you got linked to me first and then you returned to Chris, I would be humiliated as well as forlorn.  People would gossip endlessly about us for the rest of the trip.  'Oh, poor Rick, he had his chances with Marla, but she decided to return to her boyfriend.'"

"That’s sure not the way it felt to me.  You had a really weird look on your face as you canvassed the hallway.  It was obvious you didn't want anyone to see us together.  How do think that made me feel?"

"You know what?  You are right about the strange look on my face, but not for the reasons you think.  What you saw was a look of insecurity.  I felt like you were pulling away from me.  I was afraid because your actions suggested Chris had the inside track.  Until you made up your mind, the last thing I needed was more complications."

“I never told you I was going to make any decisions regarding Chris today."

"Oh, come on, Marla, why else would you pull away from me?  Why go to your room and wake up your roommate at 8 am when I had a perfectly good bed for you to use?"

"Geez, I needed to take a shower, brush my teeth, get a few minutes of sleep!  We had just happily spent the last eight hours together.  Our time was wonderful."

"Yes, but when you frowned at me for no obvious reason, I had a premonition you were having second thoughts about me.  Your frown seriously ratcheted up my fear."

"My frown had everything to do with your suspicious behavior in the hallway. Why are you bringing up Chris?  Is this a way to evade my question?"

"Here is what you don't understand.  Chris was not the only person I was worried about.  Things were still up in the air early this morning.  Even if you tossed Chris away, I had no guarantee you would pick me to replace him.  You might very well have some other guys on the ship you were curious about.  And there would be others at home you had your eyes on for some time.  How was I supposed to know what was going on in your mind?  Returning to your room suggested you were backing off from me while you weighed your options.  Until you reassured me that Chris was out of the picture and you cared about me the way I felt about you, I preferred to keep things a secret." 

"I had no idea.  You should have said something.  I could have cared less if anyone saw us together.”

"I would have said something, but I have learned the hard way that desperation isn't sexy.  Better to keep my fears to myself."

"So you say that searching up and down the hall had nothing to do with hidden girlfriends and I say my frown had nothing to do with choosing other men over you.  It sounds to me like we both started the day jumping to the wrong conclusion.  All I know is that I was really hurt that you didn't want people to see me at your side."

"Marla, that's crazy.  Have you forgotten I slow danced with you in front of 100 people tonight?  I am proud to have you next to me.  That frown on my face had nothing to do with other women."

"So help me understand why you were trying to hide me this morning, but you didn’t have a problem dancing with me at the cocktail party.  But then again, I was just one of many at your party, so you still could have been hiding me in plain sight.”

"There's a big difference between someone seeing us standing together outside my cabin door at 8 am and dancing with you on stage at 6 pm."

"So you say.  The second thing that left me wondering was when you failed to say hello at the morning dance class."  

"I am sorry about that, but you didn't help matters by showing up late.  I had expected to see you before class and see what kind of mood you were in.  However, you tied my hands by arriving late to class.  What did you want me to do, stop the class and announce that we were a major item without talking to you first?  You have no idea the amount of gossip and distraction that would generate.  Whispers would fly and no one would pay a bit of attention to what I was teaching from that point on.  Given that I was in the dark where you stood on Chris and other potential rivals, it was easier just to play it safe."

"Well, I did not appreciate being deliberately ignored.  Your indifference validated my belief you were hiding something.  I was already on guard after the hallway incident and now you hurt my feelings by failing to acknowledge me.  You could have come over and said hello."

"Not in front of the whole class, Marla, not until I knew where you stood.  The memory of your dirty look was still on my mind and now you were late.  How was I supposed to know what you intended to do about Chris?  Operating in the dark, I definitely wanted to avoid any chance of awkwardness.  The last thing I wanted was have my morning dance class turned into a soap opera."

"The way I saw it, you ignored me the entire class."

"Marla, you are correct.  I did ignore you.  I prefer to keep the early stages of my love life a secret.  I don't reveal my feelings to the world until I am pretty sure the girl cares about me the same way I care about her.  In your case, you had a decision to make and your feelings were extremely volatile.  Why risk a public display of affection when there was a good chance you would ditch me?  That said, I was more than willing to take you to lunch with me.  People would see us leave together and that would have solved your worries.  But no, you disappeared the instant class ended.  I'm sorry, but seeing you wordlessly slip away really upset me.  I had no idea what was going through your mind.  As far as I'm concerned, that was the moment the day fell to pieces.  Why did you leave?"

When Marla got very quiet, a sudden alarm went off in my mind.  It was the look on her face that alerted me.  Something was wrong.  Earlier tonight during my 'Dark Night of the Soul', my brain had been unable to explain why Marla had behaved so strangely all day long.  Now I was about to get my answer. 

SUBCHAPTER 998 - THE ASHLEY RUMOR

August 2001, Day Three, Monday, wee hours of the morning, long talk in Rick's Cabin continued

After a moment's hesitation, Marla resumed. 

"At the end of class, I saw no reason to linger because I was convinced you were hiding your interest in me from some other woman in the class."

Frustrated, I replied, "There are no other women, Marla.  I told you that last night."

"Well, my friend Jane at the studio says otherwise.  Thanks to her, I know you have an old flame named Ashley on this trip.  Not only that, I saw Ashley in class this morning.  You definitely had no trouble paying attention to her."

A look of concern crossed my face.  "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Ashley.  Did you ever date her?"

Uh oh, Marla had no way of knowing this, but she just put me on the spot.  When I flinched, Marla frowned.  Damn it, my hesitation had given me away!  I tried to cover, but it was useless.  "Uh no, Ashley and I are not dating."

"That's not what I asked.  I asked if you have ever dated Ashley and you didn't answer my question.  This is a deliberate evasion, so I will take that as a yes."

"All right, Marla, I admit I saw Ashley for a while last spring.  But how did you know this?  That was supposed to be kept a secret."

"You seem to forget all the things that you did to trigger my behavior.  I was hurt that you kept trying to hide me and refused to acknowledge me.  Let me remind you that you started this.  First you searched the hallway making sure no one saw us and then you completely ignored me in class all the while seemingly flirting with one of your old girlfriends."

"I get that now, but since I didn't have any little girlfriends, that never crossed my mind.  As if I didn't have enough to worry about with Chris, now I had Darren to worry about."

"I am definitely not interested in Darren.  It was all an act because I didn’t want you to see how hurt I was.  I just want to know why if you were so concerned you didn't come find me after class?  Our cabins are only twenty feet away, Rick.  You could have knocked on my door and invited me to lunch.  I spent the day thinking you were hiding me from someone in that class, if not Ashley, then someone else."

"You don't know me very well.  When a woman brushes me off, I let time pass before my next move.  I wasn't coming near you.  I didn't know why you were mad at me, but I was mad at you.  If you're going to turn your back on me, I'm not going anywhere near till you raise the all-clear flag.  For example, I spotted you up on the deck this afternoon and I refused to say a word."

"I had no idea you were there.  Why didn't you come over?"

"I figured you were busy thinking about Chris."

"I was."

"Okay, then maybe this would be a good time to talk about Chris.  What did you decide?"

"I decided to throw Chris overboard.  I figured no matter how things worked out with you and me, it was definitely over with Chris.  I wasn’t going to give him any more chances.  It is almost like I was obsessed with Chris.  I know that makes absolutely no sense." 

"What was the deciding factor?"

"I finally realized that I deserved more than what Chris was offering.  I was ready to find a healthy relationship built on mutual honesty and trust.   It wasn't really that hard letting him go.  No tears, guilt, or regret.  I actually sighed a huge breath of relief."

Marla paused for a moment to reflect.  Then with a sigh, she turned to me.

"Your own behavior sure didn't make my decision easy.  I need you to help me understand a few things.”

"Oh, great.  You mean there's more?  Now what?"

"I wasn't happy watching you dance up on stage with every woman in our group at the Captain's Reception.  You moved from woman to woman far too easily and your behavior bordered on smug.  Once I got my duty dance, you walked away without a second glance to track down the next woman.  After you did the same thing in dance class, I was very unsure of your feelings towards me.  I felt like I was just one of many.  Watching you dash from one woman to the next sure didn't make me feel special.  I kept asking myself how many of those women you were chasing in addition to me.  Or how many were chasing you."

"That's my job, Marla.  Those women are my students, they keep me in business.  Asking them to dance is how I show gratitude for their support.  Besides, I saved the last dance, the most important dance, for you."

"Yes, you did.  When we slow danced, it felt right between us.  However, then you pissed me off again.  Just when I felt things were going to work out, you had to race back up on that stage with Jill.  You left me standing there alone.  I felt insulted.  Here we go again, you just had to have one more dance with a member of your flock.  It was more important to show off than be a gentleman and escort me to dinner."

"But, Marla, this is what I do for a living.  By displaying my skill at dance, I am discretely demonstrating my competence.  There were a lot of people watching Jill and I perform.  The attention my dance with Jill received suggests that four or five students who were watching might be impressed enough to sign up for my next Whip class.  You understand how that works." 

"Yes, I understand business, however, I thought I was special to you.  Your behavior at the Captain's Reception did not make any sense.  Your dancing with every possible woman in the room looked like you were playing the field.  You flit from woman to woman to woman.  One moment it's me, then you can't wait to show off with Jill.  You practically hauled her up on the stage.  Considering we were headed to dinner together, that was extremely disrespectful.  Not only that, Rick, who really got the Last Dance?  Was it me or Jill?  As far I'm concerned, Jill got the last dance.  You did not make me feel important tonight."

"Just because I enjoy dancing with my female students does not mean I am chasing them.  Once I enter a committed relationship, I never stray."

"Unfortunately a lot of men say the same thing.  I know that for a fact.  Your behavior tonight was hard on me.  Based on what I saw tonight, dating you would be difficult."

"You are not the first woman to say that.  My first wife divorced me for exactly that reason.  However, once you learn to trust me, things will get better.  I can understand why dancing with Jill upset you.  But what about Doug and Jamie?  All they did was ask a question about their wedding dance.  Why did you leave me behind while I was speaking to them?"

"I did not appreciate being left standing alone to watch your dance with Jill.  However, when you caught up with me in line as I waited for dinner, I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt.  As we stood there, I was still hurt and confused over your insistence on dancing with Jill.  I was already feeling insecure when that couple came over to speak to you.  Without even bothering to excuse yourself, you turned your back on me for five minutes.  Not only did you lack the courtesy to ask me to dinner, you were so oblivious you didn't even notice when I left with Darren and Sherry.  Everyone gets Rick's attention but Marla. That’s why I raced into the dining room.  From my point of view, I wasn’t special to you.  Get this straight, I refuse to be one of many.  I am NOT your groupie.  I was very hurt, but determined not to let you know how much you hurt me.  That is why I decided to put on an act with Darren."

"Your flirtation with Darren was a bitter lesson indeed."

"I was not flirting with Darren!  I refused to let you know how much you had hurt me."

"Well, I got the message loud and clear.  There are those who say every man is a giant training experiment run by women.  Apparently your training program began today.  Although I think your Darren punishment exceeded the crime, at least your actions are finally making some sense.  Now that I know your sensitive areas, in the future I will be more careful."

Marla nodded.  "I'm sorry you misinterpreted the act I was putting on at dinner. 

"Things should be okay from here on out.  I am glad we both put our cards on the table.  In particular, I am glad you told me about Ashley and Jane.  Now that I know Jane had talked to you behind my back, I finally have the missing piece of the puzzle.  You know, I don't think our problems are as rare as we think.  Every Shakespearean tragedy revolves around misunderstandings similar to ours." 

"Today has definitely been one misunderstanding after another."

I snickered at the irony of it all.  Better to laugh than cry.  "So basically no matter what I did today, it pissed you off."

"Yep!"

"Am I still in your doghouse?"

"I'm considering letting you out.  You won some serious points by talking about these problems with me."

"What do I need to do to extricate myself permanently?"

"You need to reassure me that you will be honest with me and I can trust you.  I have my own insecurities, just like you.  Every significant man in my life has cheated on me.  I am sick and tired of the pain.  I am sick and tired of the lies.  I can’t stand the anxiety of not knowing what is going on behind my back.  I am sick of having everyone else know the truth but me.  I don't cheat.  That is not who I am.  All I ask is that the man I love treat me with the same regard.  Are you willing to do this?"

My eyes grew wide.  As confrontations go, Marla was drawing her line in the sand.  This was as serious as it gets.

"Yes, Marla, I firmly believe in being faithful.  You and I share the same concern.  I have been cheated on more times than I care to admit.  I learned the hard way that cheating is the road to misery.  The worst point came when I had an affair with a married woman twenty years ago.  That was a big mistake.  It hurt so many people that I vowed never to let it happen again.  I've had opportunities to participate in affairs since, but I have kept my vow.  I have been married twice and I was faithful.  I will always keep my word to you."

"Is that the truth?"

"Yes. 

Marla smiled.  "I am glad you said that.  I feel the same way.  Okay, you are out of the doghouse."

"Thank goodness.  Look, Marla, I haven't completely healed yet from my divorce.  A lot of things went wrong and I am scared of repeating my mistakes.  Today's ordeal has reminded me how easy it is for the train to run off the rails.  My trust level towards women is pretty low right now.  I am terrified of commitment, but at the same time that is exactly what I want with you.  Unfortunately my fear of getting hurt again is holding me back.  I don't know how much I can trust you.  All day long I have been so fearful of seeing you return to Chris.  And then I completely flipped out over Darren.  I am a mess right now.  Can you help glue me back together?"

"You can ALWAYS trust me, Rick.  I am not perfect, but I am decent.  You can count on me to tell the truth at all times."

I nodded with relief.  This had been a hard day's night, so we both took a deep breath.  We were exhausted and frazzled.  And vulnerable too, no question about it.  All in all, it had taken us till the wee hours of the morning to work through our vast array of psychological demons.  Love is the ultimate Risky Business.  Over the past thirty hours, we had invested a lot of hope in a person we barely knew.  Our instincts told us we were dealing with a good person, but after all the crap we had faced in prior relationships, our hearts needed this late night display of good will before moving onto the next step.

Tonight I learned a valuable lesson about facing my fears.  I imagine there are a lot of people out there who choose to take the safe way out and avoid their fears.  I am the perfect example.  In particular, I retreated from the cabin door three times until I finally found the courage to go find Marla and discover the truth.  Marla was also afraid.  Four times today she had avoided me rather than confront me. 

In hindsight, I am please to report this conversation had a remarkable ending.  Once we finally had the guts to talk it over, we were amazed to discover how much we were able to trust the other person.  This difficult conversation became the foundation of a trust so deep that it would never be questioned again.  Freed of misunderstanding, our spirits began to merge.

SUBCHAPTER 999 - DONKEYS AND SPELLS

August 2001, Monday, Day Three, 9 am

After some much-needed sleep, the daylight part of Monday went very well.  Marla had been worried about me hiding her from notice yesterday.  Today that fear was long gone.  With our trust issues solved, Marla and I spent the entire day side by side. 

Although we were a bit subdued due to the intensity of the past two days, Marla and I walked around the ship holding hands.  This triggered the news of our ship-board love affair which raced through the group like wildfire.  Unfortunately, since no one had a clue who Marla was, people were oddly reticent to approach just yet.  However, as the day wore on, one by one my friends came by to meet Marla and express congratulations.  We thoroughly enjoyed our first day as an official couple. 

However, after dinner, Marla and I were exhausted.  I was supposed to emcee an evening dance party, but we both needed some rest.  I dropped off the sound equipment to my friend Iqbal who said he would handle the party for me.  After one dance and a few more introductions, Marla and I retired early. 

August 2001, Monday, 10 pm till Tuesday, Day Four, 3 am: Another long talk in Rick's Cabin

After returning to my cabin around 10 pm, we opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate our successful day.  Despite our good mood, there were a lot of loose ends to cover.  Consequently for the third night in a row we began a long talk deep into the wee hours.  Marla and I were in awe at how serious we had become in such a brief time.  The odd thing is we were not scared.  The discovery that we had overcome yesterday's severe misunderstanding was a powerful source of reassurance.  I was one of the least trusting men on earth and yet I felt no distrust.  I was fascinated to note how close I felt to Marla.

Although I was full of optimism, there was something troubling me.  Fairy Tales are supposed to be just that: Fairy Tales.  Let me put this another way.  I had met girls in the past and conducted a whirlwind romance or two.  But not like this!  As Romances go, this one had moved at the speed of light.  To be frank, I felt like we were already married.  Marla concurred.  Not that I minded, but at the same time it blew my mind.  How was it possible to feel like I had been married forever to a woman I had known for three days? 

Knowing me, I had been on Supernatural Alert from the moment I had seen Marla standing in the doorway at the Disco.  The coincidence of running into her serendipitously had all the earmarks of a Fated meeting.  There was also my unease over the Ashley Rumor.  I had trouble accepting yesterday's serious misunderstanding had been caused by something so utterly nonsensical.  Six months ago I enjoyed a brief, uncomplicated fling with a pretty girl.  No hurt feelings, no parting tears, nothing remotely salacious about it.  And yet what should have been a dead ember had somehow caused a forest fire.  If I had seen a similar plot twist on a soap opera, I would have turned the TV off.  No one would ever believe such a wildly contrived chain of events. 

At this point in time, I was 50 years old.  During this time I had created a List of 94 events that struck me as far out of the ordinary.  Convinced I had just experienced my 95th event, I was curious to know if Marla would agree with me.  Not once in all these years had I discussed my views on Fate with someone who had shared my unusual experience.  I wondered how Marla would react if I brought this eerie subject up.  Would she be awestruck like me or would she think I was crazy?  Sooner or later I would have to tell her about my unusual belief system.  However, I was leery about going down this road.  One time in the past, I had shared my ideas with a girlfriend whose spiritual outlook was firmly planted in Material World Reality.  She had reacted with bitter scorn over my theories.  As much as I hated to take a chance of Marla reacting the same way, it was better to get this open now rather than later.  I decided to start slowly.

"Marla, I have a question.  My heart tells me we are a perfect match, but what I don't understand is why we didn't connect long ago."

"What do you mean?"

"When I began to approach you at the studio back in March, you were polite but distinctly reserved.  After all those months I spent pining for you, how could you not realize I was interested in you?  Wait, before you answer, let me clarify.  Did you completely fail to detect my interest?  Or did you sense my interest, but chose not to encourage me?"

Marla pursed her lips.  "I had absolutely no idea you were interested in me.  I assumed any attention you gave me was a part of good relations for your business.  I thought you were showing appreciation to a loyal customer."

"And that entire time you were debating whether to stay with Chris or not."

"Yep."

"Whenever I talked to you, you never gave any indication things were not right between you and Chris.  All you ever did was return to the six years story line.  What I am getting at is that you talked double, but acted single.  You never struck me as being particularly attached to Chris.  Why didn't you let on that things were not going well between you?"

"I am a private person.  I don't like to share events in my personal life, and surely not with someone who is an acquaintance.  I had no idea you were interested in me as anything more than a student, so I had no reason to confide in you.  However there was definitely dissatisfaction with Chris the whole time.  Practically every time I saw Chris during that period, he did something or said something to piss me off.  Then I would go home and tell myself I was ready to end that relationship and move forward.  That must have been what you picked up on.  However, I do have a confession to make.  I was definitely looking."

"That does not surprise me.  There was never even a hint of warmth in your voice when you spoke of your boyfriend.  However you definitely weren't looking in my direction."

"Yes, that is correct.  I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I wasn't interested in you.  I never felt any connection at all.  Our conversations were so superficial at the studio and we never had a single meaningful discussion.  Besides, although I knew you were separated, I thought you were still married until right before the trip.  I have a firm ground rule that married men are hands off.”

"I didn't have a ring on."

"A lot of men take their rings off.  Trust me, I know from my own experience.  I've been deceived by a couple of married guys."

"So you were looking.  Did you see anyone you liked?  If so, who was the lucky guy?"

"I had my eyes on Bob, one of the guys from my Swing class.  I was interested in him."

"Did you ever go out with Bob?"

"No, but I wanted to.  I really liked him, I thought he was a nice guy.  Unfortunately, he had Sue, his on-again, off-again girlfriend. The timing was never right."

"So here I am pining for you and you are pining for Bob.  Bob is pining for Sue and Chris is hanging around.  Meanwhile you had no idea I existed.  No wonder I never got anywhere.  That reminds me of Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream." 

"Help me out.  I don't know the story."

"Four young Athenian lovers have their minds manipulated by a fairy who inhabits the forest where the play is set.  The youths wander around the forest in a fog as they each pursue the wrong person.  This fog is created by a love potion given to them by a fairy named Puck.  At the end, the fairy lets each of them wake up and find the person they were meant to be with."

"I was definitely wandering around in a fog when it came to Chris.  I should have ended that relationship a long time ago.  At the same time I never noticed your interest in me.  That changed when we began our long talk in the Disco."

The memory of that talk made me smile.  "Was it my fascinating talk about Catherine the Great?"

"No.  What caught my attention was our discussion about Houston's overdependence on freeways and the need for rail.  Our previous conversations had been superficial, but this topic had real depth to it and revealed that you are knowledgeable.  I was surprised to see our ideas dovetail on such a controversial issue.  As we conversed, I wondered why I wasn’t interested in you before.  Now that I was seeing you in a new light, I realized my first impression was all wrong.  You were a totally different person.  You seemed genuine and I liked this side of you much better.  I felt a strong, unexpected connection to you and I wanted to get to know you better.  There was a whole lot more substance to you than I had earlier believed."

"In your defense, there's a business side to me and a friendly side to me."

"Maybe so, but you were definitely more interesting.  Intelligence and knowledge in current events are important to me.  After having this serious one-on-one talk, I was pleased to discover this new side to you.”

"Maybe the margaritas served as a love potion."

Marla smiled.  "No, I don't think so.  I wasn’t that drunk."

At this point I raised an eyebrow.  Marla had made it clear she had no interest in me during the past ten months.  Meanwhile during this same period, I was extremely interested in her.  During this Ice Age, I very much wanted to reveal my feelings, but her apathy had never offered much hope.  Recently divorced, I had lacked the guts to approach Marla absent any sort of encouragement.

Then came the important moment when Marla signed up to come alone on my cruise trip.  Recalling Cary Grant's success at luring Deborah Kerr from her fiancé on a cruise trip in Affair to Remember, I figured I would have a better chance of getting Marla's attention on the upcoming cruise than here at the studio.  Maybe Marla would drop her guard and talk to me.  Convinced Marla was hiding something about her boyfriend, I circled the August trip as my best chance to get to the bottom of this mystery. 

Imagine my shock when my long-shot gamble exceeded my wildest dream! 

Never in my life did I imagine Fate would place Marla standing alone at the Disco on the very first night.  It was just like Shakespeare's fairy had arranged the meeting for me.

"Hey, Rick, you wanted to see Marla, right?  Well, guess what, here she is!" 

In the blink of an eye, I suddenly had my dream girl all to myself on the dance floor.  Imagine that, here she is in the one place where I was at my most confident.  The dancing helped break the ice.  Later as we spoke, Marla seemed to develop an unusual interest in me.  Her eyes lit up and her expression changed.  It was like someone had just flipped a switch inside her mind.  The change in Marla's attitude was so dramatic, my suspicion grew that tonight's meeting was a Fated event. 

However, despite my thrill over Marla's sudden interest, her change of heart raised a disturbing question.  Recalling my November Thunderbolt, why was it love at first sight for me, but ten months passed before Marla took notice?  I was the same guy tonight I was ten months ago.  One would assume the chemistry we shared now should have been in effect during the time Marla was starting to look around.  In other words, why had I remained invisible?  If Marla could notice Bob, then why couldn't she notice me? 

I am not a vain person.  I understand that some women will find me interesting while others could care less.  That said, I had enough experience around women to know Marla should have at the very least checked me out.  I based this on our strong rapport in dance class.  We teased and bickered like old friends during class, but her warmth disappeared the moment class ended. 

No doubt there were a variety of explanations, but I had to wonder if Marla's eyes had been 'Cosmically Blinded' in my direction.  What if Fate decreed we needed to be kept apart until the time was right?   Cosmic Blindness was my theory which states there will be times when our minds are tampered with in service of our Fate.  The facts surrounding Marla's change of heart definitely supported my theory.  However, before I jumped to any conclusions, first I wanted to know what Marla thought. 

Here in the solitude of our cabin, I was just about to bring up the subject of 'Cosmic Blindness', but then I hesitated.  Hmm, maybe I should hold off on that.  I was dying to ask Marla's opinion, but this Twilight Zone topic was risky.  I was afraid of scaring her off.  Maybe if I continued to approach the subject indirectly, Marla would give me a hint about her own belief system.  So I decided to continue using my Shakespeare theme. 

"Well, Marla, if it wasn't the margaritas, then maybe someone released you from a spell. In Midsummer Night's Dream, Puck gives Queen Titania a love potion that makes her think she is kissing a handsome boy.  However, he played a trick on her.  In reality, Titania was deluded into kissing a donkey.  Maybe a pixie gave you a love potion to disguise my true identity."

"More likely you paid a witch to cast a spell over me two nights ago."

I smiled.  "What I am driving at is that back in Shakespeare's day, people believed there were Mystical reasons behind the comical and tragic misunderstandings suffered by all."

Marla became silent for a moment.  Finally she replied.  "I agree it is odd I hadn’t noticed you before.  You turned out to be a lot more interesting than I previously realized."

"Can you explain why it was so easy for you to miss me back at the studio when I was in front of you the whole time?  We spoke at least once a week for half a year, but you never caught on."

"You have a point.  During our midnight conversation at the bar, as I listened to you, I wondered why it had taken so long for me to notice you.  At the studio we used to tease each other back and forth in class and we chatted from time to time, but I never once felt a connection to you.  Suddenly here in the Disco I didn’t want to share you with anyone.  It makes little sense.  When Sherry came up at the bar to ask you to dance, my instinct was me-first for a change.  I wanted to keep you to myself.  What do you think?  You talk like you believe someone cast a spell on me."

Marla had just opened the door.  Do I dare?  Of course.  With that, I brought up the subject of Fate.

"The thing to realize is back in the days of Shakespeare and the Brothers Grimm, religious persecution was rampant.  The Middle Ages was an era when people really did believe in witches, leprechauns, pixie dust, potions, and curses.  Suspected witches were often burned at the stake.  Due to the danger, the safest way to discuss these magical beings was to write about them in plays and and fairy tales.  However, as the age of science emerged, this Magic World was soundly denounced.  Today we scoff at such things as a Hidden World.  That said, maybe Shakespeare knew something when he wrote about fairies and love potions.  I once knew a woman who was so lost that I actually came to believe she was functioning under some sort of Cosmic Spell."

"Seriously?  So you do believe in that sort of thing!"

"At the risk of revealing my weird streak, yes, I firmly believe there very well could be a supernatural element to our lives."

A bemused smile crossed Marla's face.  "I do too."

Holy smokes!  I raised an eyebrow at that remark.  After taking a deep breath, I continued.  "Really?  I'll be darned.  So I have a question.  I know when I began to believe in Fate, but what about you?  Can you point to a time when you began to wonder about Fate?"

"Yes, it happened when my marriage was failing.  Even though I was going through some very difficult times, I believed that I was traveling a road to a better place.  I'm not sure why, but I had an instinct that these obstacles were placed in my way for a reason and that if I could persevere, these troubles would be for the best.  My favorite saying is that 'Time will tell.'"

"What does that expression mean to you?"

"It means that I might not have the answer to my questions during my troubles but in time I will discover the reason why I had to face these hardships."

"I feel pretty much the same way you do.  I refer to it as my 'Silver Lining' theory.  The worst time of my life was getting thrown out of graduate school.  And yet years later I discovered the hard lessons I learned were indispensable to my future success.  I guess in my case, Time did tell.  I believe certain benefits and certain hardships are going to happen to us at predetermined points in our life.  We cannot avoid our Fate; we can only control our attitude about the event and our decision on how to react."

"I believe we have Free Will.  However, I also agree there sure are a lot of weird things that still happen."

SUBCHAPTER 1000 - COSMIC BLINDNESS

"Marla, I also believe we have Free Will, but I do not know to what extent.  I believe there are limits to our Free Will, that there will be times when things happen to us such as accidents.  I doubt seriously there is any way to avoid Fated events.  I also believe there will be times when we are forced to behave in self-destructive ways because that is our Fate.  Maybe our judgment will be clouded because we are doomed to make a certain mistake."

"Are you implying that this is what happened to me regarding Chris?"

"Do you really want to know what I think?"

"Yes, of course.  I wouldn't have asked."

"Okay, let's take Chris as a way to demonstrate my theory of Cosmic Stupidity."

"Wait a second.  What is Cosmic Stupidity?"

"Cosmic Stupidity is a theory suggests there are times when we do dumb things because our mind has been manipulated beyond our awareness.  There may be times when we are drawn to the wrong person because a relationship to that person has been pre-determined.  One of the hallmarks of Cosmic Stupidity is when you can't see the danger that is obvious to the people around you."

"That is a pretty serious thought.  Will you explain a little further?"

"Sure.  Let me use my own life to demonstrate.  In my first marriage, Pat was a terrific woman.  She was everything a man could ask for.  But Pat had this fatal flaw known as jealousy, a tendency she developed when her first husband cheated on her repeatedly.  I won't say I was blind to Pat's problem when I married her, but I badly underestimated its danger.  I believed through communication and trust we could overcome this obstacle.  Boy, was I wrong.

Pat was so fearful I would stray that she maintained a constant vigilance.  She berated me anytime I showed the slightest warmth towards another woman.  I kept asking myself why Pat could not look into my heart and see I was a decent person.  Pat had nothing to worry about, but she was so crazed with fear that I began to wonder if she was under some sort of spell.  It got to the point where I could not smile at a female dance student without hearing about it. 

One night a woman fell in class and was very shaken.  As I helped her up, I said 'Honey, you're okay.  Let's just try again.'  I knew I was in trouble when Pat turned crimson.  When we got home, she chewed me out for 'inappropriate language'.  When I disagreed, a major argument ensued.  If Pat had made her point and dropped it, we could have agreed to disagree and moved on.  But no, Pat continued for the entire weekend.  The hostility reached the point where I could not do my job and please Pat at the same time.  One of them had to go."

Shortly after the divorce, an older woman named Gretchen consoled me.  She said, "I'm sorry, Rick, because I could tell you loved Pat when you married her.  But I always knew you never had a chance.  Pat had the curse of the green eyes.  I knew this the first time I spoke to her." 

I wondered why Gretchen could see we were doomed and I couldn't.  I also wondered whatever came over Pat in the first place.  She wasn't like this before we got married.  Somewhere along the line, she went nuts.  Pat had to know this constant nagging was a cancer to our marriage, but she couldn't stop.  This marriage should have worked, so why didn't it?  I asked myself if our relationship was doomed to fail.  We are always quick to look to Psychology for our explanations, but in my case, I wondered if a better explanation might simply be Destiny." 

"Why would God cause your marriage to fail?  What's the point of that?"

"That is the question for the ages.  Why does God let little children get cancer?  Why do the good die young?  Who can answer these mysteries in any sensible way?"

"Do you believe in Evil?"

"Yes, of course there is evil.  The question is why.  Why is there evil and what is its purpose?  Have you ever heard of the Great Lisbon earthquake?"

"No.  What happened?"

"Back in 1755, there was a terrible earthquake that took place on a holy day known as the Feast of All Saints.  The earthquake hit while half the city was attending church.  The tremblers were so powerful that many church roofs caved in, killing all these worshippers.  Then a huge tsunami hit.  The death toll was huge, somewhere between 30,000 and 60,000.  What bothered people the most was that the atheists survived while the believers perished.  For good reason, their faith in God was badly shaken.  Why would God let this happen?

Back when I was in college, I spent an entire year asking the same question.  After a great deal of reading, I came to believe in reincarnation.  We are reborn many times in order to reconcile past wrongs.  You've heard the expression known as Bad Karma.  In each lifetime people are Fated to off Karmic debts from previous lives.  To me, that is the only justification for the mysteries of God's Will that I can think of.  As we suffer, we learn hard but necessary lessons."

"You haven't answered my question.  Why would God cause your marriage to fail?"

"The concept of Reincarnation suggests we will reunite with certain souls to handle unsettled business.  Despite millions of people, I believe hidden spirits make sure to keep us in our separate corners until the time comes for us to meet.  There are several souls in particular I will be tied to, some of whom I may not get along with.  Some of these people are meant to help and some of these people are meant to hurt.  That's how I see it, but I have no way to prove it."

"How do you see your theory in relationship to Pat?"

"Wow, that's a tough question.  What did I learn from Pat?  More than anything else, I learned that I do not have the power to change another person.  I really loved that woman, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not get her to stop arguing with me.  I don't like to be told how to behave and Pat was unwilling to drop the issue unless I gave in.  Ultimately our good will disintegrated.  What a shame." 

"How do you see your theory in relationship to me?"

"Several ways.  To begin with, I believe we were deliberately kept apart prior to this trip.  Hidden spirits crisscrossed us back and forth, keeping us close but not too close until we finally met at the appointed time.  From what you have told me about Chris, your inability to leave him suggests you may have been under a spell.  It is almost like you believe the same thing.  I've heard you say repeatedly you don't know what you saw in that man."

"That's true.  I say that to myself all the time.  But I don't like the word 'Stupidity'.  I feel more like I was blinded somehow.  His deceit was right in front of me, but I could not seem to grasp it.  Can we call it 'Cosmic Blindness'?"

"Yes, of course.  For Blindness to take place, our better judgment is removed and we no longer see a person the same way unaffected people do.  For example, Queen Titania sees a handsome man while the audience sees a donkey.  I see a beautiful person in Pat while Gretchen sees a tormented woman.  It has crossed my mind that you operate under a cloud where Chris is concerned.  I can't imagine why a woman as attractive and intelligent as you would stick around a guy who puts her down and cheats on her.  I guess you see something in Chris that other people don't.  So I have a question.  Has anyone whose opinion you respect ever warned you about Chris?"

"Certainly.  My brother Larry can't stand the guy.  My daughter Marissa isn't too keen on him either.  As for my former husband Tom, my mother begged me over and over not to marry him.  If nothing else, live with Tom for a year and then decide.  But I wouldn't listen.  I married Tom after a short courtship.  But here's the weird part.  Moments before I married Tom, I had a sudden realization that I was making a horrible mistake.  Uh oh, too late now.  My parents have paid a fortune for the wedding and they are not wealthy people, so my guilt made me go through with it.  I guess I was a fool in love."

"Cosmic Blindness is a strange theory, but the more I think about it, the more plausible it seems.  There is universal acceptance in the rosy concept of loving soul mates, but no one ever imagines we might also have soul antagonists.  Why can't people accept that negative relationships may be preordained as well?"

"Why would anyone willingly enter into a negative relationship?"

"Maybe because our better judgment is clouded.  You willingly married Tom.  I willingly married Pat.  In my case, I chose to ignore obvious red flags where Pat was concerned.  What about you?  Were there red flags with Chris when you started dating him?"

"Yes."

"Were there red flags with Tom when you met him?"

"Yes, there were red flags with Tom, but I was in love."

"I believe that.  I was in love with Pat, so there you go.  They say we see what we want to see, but I have a different outlook.  Maybe we see what we are meant to see!  My mother used to say my father put on a good front during courtship, but changed his spots for the worse once they were married.  I say we should look at it the other way around.  Maybe it wasn't my father who fooled her, but rather my mother's own mind was manipulated into overlooking my father's obvious faults until it was too late."

"Now you're back to your Donkey Theory.  You believe we can be tricked into falling in love with the wrong person."

"I admit that's a tough pill to swallow, but yes, that is exactly what I am suggesting.  If a man and a woman who are not right for one another are meant to connect, the most effective way to make this happen is to temporarily delude a woman into believing a Donkey is an Adonis.

Do you ever wonder where our superstitions come from?  For example, the role of the Donkey in Midsummer Night's Dream was meant to be comical, but maybe Shakespeare was sending a hidden message.  Puck is a mischievous fairy who uses a potion to deceive a beautiful woman into falling in love with a donkey.  Everyone in the audience can see Queen Titania kiss a donkey because she is completely blind.  We laugh at the folly, but what if Shakespeare knows something about Reality he does not dare say out loud for fear of retribution?  So he hints at it instead.  What if all those Grimm Fairy Tales about witches and spells are based on the same superstition that drives me to wonder about Cosmic Blindness? 

Our language is filled with expressions of bewilderment.  'Marry in haste, repent in leisure', 'Fools rush in where wise men never dare', 'A woman in love cannot be reasonable, or she probably wouldn't be in love', 'Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.'"

"You are basically saying that Love is Blind.  That is a very cynical viewpoint, Rick."

"Maybe so, but witness the countless number of bad marriages.  You had one.  I had one.  Everyone I know speaks of some horrible love affair gone wrong.  God must really love stupid people because he made so many, me included.  Either that or God gave us all a brain, but He removes it when necessary in pursuit of our Destiny."

"Rick, I have a question.  Where in the world did you come up with these ideas?"

"My theories arose out of the great scandal of my life.  About 30 years ago, a married woman named Victoria left her husband and showed up on my doorstep.  Despite my strong objections, she insisted on moving in with me.  In addition, she insisted we have sex for the first time.  What a terrible mistake.  As we made love, Victoria clenched her teeth.  The moment we finished, Victoria screamed, 'What have I done, what have I done?'  I was shocked at her display.  Where were these misgivings before she insisted we do this?"

"Why would you cooperate if you thought this was a mistake?"

"There are two answers to that question.  I am sure you've heard of women who are forced to submit in order to keep their job.  That is more or less the position I was in.  Victoria had control of the dance studio and threatened to destroy it if I did not cooperate.  Unfortunately, she had both the power and the ruthlessness to make good on her threat.  In addition, there was a mysterious element of deceit.  At first I thought it was Victoria who had pulled the wool over my eyes, but after careful thought, I began to believe that both of us had been Cosmically Blinded into participation.  Not only was I extremely bitter over my mistake, I wondered where my defiance had disappeared to.  After spending an entire year telling Victoria that I was dead set against a sexual relationship, I gave in despite my previous objections.  I concluded the only way I could have allowed this to happen was if my judgment had been removed.  To me, it looked like we both temporarily lost our minds.  That is when I began to consider the existence of Cosmic Blindness."

"Did Victoria agree with your theory?"

"I never spoke to her about this.  You said it yourself, 'Time will Tell'.  I was so busy living the experience that I lacked the detachment necessary to express such a strange idea.  However, the more I thought about it, I became more convinced that a veil had been pulled back to allow Victoria to see she had just made the worst mistake of her life.  How could she do this to her husband?  Why didn't she realize ahead of time that she was about to throw away a good marriage for a situation that would never work?"

"What went wrong between the two of you?"

"At the risk of embarrassing myself, the moment we had sex, Victoria didn't want me anymore.  She moved back home immediately.  However, her husband was understandably furious at her, so he moved out and filed for divorce.  Can you imagine that?  Here is a woman who had just thrown away a marriage to a good man for someone she did not even want!"

"How do these details fit your Blindness theory?"

"The Donkey parallel is unmistakable.  Due to a bizarre set of circumstances, Victoria became infatuated with me.  One night she told her husband she could never rest not knowing if I was love of her life.  I am not making this up.  However, the moment we had sex, suddenly in her eyes I was no longer the love of her life, but rather a man who was inferior to her husband.   It was like she woke up and asked what she ever saw in me.  To tell the truth, I was thrilled when Victoria left.  I never wanted her there in the first place.  But now I was consumed with a fever to explain her irrational behavior.  I'm sure Freud would have plenty of explanations, but to me the idea that Victoria was spellbound made just as much sense.  The only way I could be superior to Victoria's husband was temporary blindness. "

"Pardon me if I offend, but why do you say Victoria came to see you as inferior to her husband?"

"Over the next two years, Victoria repeatedly explained how her husband Michael was superior to me in every way."

"She did this to your face?"

"Yes!  And you know what?  I agreed with her!  Although I resented her put-downs, Victoria's arguments made sense.  Michael was a solid guy.  He was a good father, had a great career, and was widely respected by his friends.  Nor did he do anything mean to his wife.  According to Victoria, the only thing Michael did wrong was work too much and not give her enough attention.  No woman in her right mind throws away a man like Michael!  This is why I spent hours upon hours analyzing Victoria's decision.  This situation made so little sense that I eventually tired of looking for psychological explanations to explain her behavior.  In the end, it was actually easier to believe an invisible pixie had cast a spell over Victoria than to accept realistic answers that did not add up." 

"Okay, it is clear that you firmly believe in your Blindness theory.  Tell me again why you think God would deliberately make Victoria crazy and ruin her marriage?"

"For the same reason that God made Pat crazy with jealousy.  Why do so many people make foolish mistakes?  We have an expression in our language, 'She must have been out of her mind to do that.'  There are those who claim there is more soul growth in one year of suffering than ten years of pleasant existence.  As I am fond of saying, good judgment comes from Experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.  I got thrown out of graduate school due to my big mouth.  That's bad judgment.  I carefully watch what I say ever since.  Good judgment.  I had an affair with Victoria.  Bad judgment.  I've never had an affair since.  Good judgment.  God wants us to make mistakes so we will learn lessons."

Marla stared at me for moment, then replied, "Yes, I suppose there's an odd logic to that.  I too have learned from past mistakes." 

I nodded.  "So now that you know my strange views on Reality, do you agree we were Fated to meet?"

The moment I said that, the strangest look came over Marla's face.  Marla grew quiet as she mulled something over. 

"Rick, there's something I need to tell you.  It is very important."

SUBCHAPTER 1001 - THE GYPSY PROPHECY

 For a moment there, I was alarmed.  "What's wrong, Marla?"

"I have something very strange to tell you.  All this talk about fairies and witches and spells has just reminded me of a very strange experience of my own.  But first promise me you won't laugh because this is a pretty weird story."

"As weird as my stories?"

Marla grinned weakly.

"Maybe weirder.  Back in March, I made friends with a group from my Swing class.  Our group got together occasionally outside of class to meet for Swing dancing.  One night we decided to go Swing dancing at a place called At the Hop in North Houston.  If you remember, I told you there was a man I was interested in.  Bob was part of that group and I knew he was coming.  I hoped by seeing him out socially, this might create an opportunity for Bob to ask me out."

"That makes sense.  So what happened?"

"After dancing and chatting over a few beers, I needed to use the restroom.  I noticed a gypsy shuffling Tarot cards at a table in front of the restroom.  A sign said she was a fortune teller.  I believe in that sort of thing, so I said what the hell and sat down and had my cards read.

The gypsy was a bit younger than me, maybe 35, dark hair, dark eyes, dark clothes.  This gypsy was different than others.  I don't know if you believe in auras, but there was something about this woman that set her apart.  For lack of a better description, she meant business.  The gypsy welcomed me and told me to take a seat.  First she handed me the Tarot cards and asked me to shuffle them.  She asked for the cards back and proceeded to lay five cards down on the table. Then she took the palm of my hand and studied it.  For good measure, she put my hand between both of hers and closed her eyes.  When she was ready, she opened her eyes and looked at me with a serious expression. 

"These cards do not tell what will happen, they tell what might happen.  You seem to have a choice between two paths.  You are in a long-term relationship that brings you sorrow.  However, there is a good chance this relationship will begin to work again if you nurture it.  I also see you are considering a certain journey.  If you take this journey, your life will be changed forever.  On this journey, you will meet the man you will spend the rest of your life with.'"

My eyes grew wide at this unbelievable story.  "Marla, that is fascinating!  What did you think?"

Marla replied, "I didn’t have a clue what to think.  When the gypsy said that, my jaw dropped open.  I was kind of in shock.  Did this woman really just say I would meet the man I would spend the rest of my life with?  After I probed further, the gypsy reminded me that my fortune was not predetermined, that I had a choice.  She assured me that both paths held promise."

"Did you ask the gypsy if the man you would meet would make you happy?"

"No, but I should have.  Oh, that reminds me, one more thing, very important.  The Gypsy said if I did take that journey, I already knew the person I would meet.  For the life of me, I could not figure that out.  I guess this was the point when I got skeptical.  Of course this prediction was probably nonsense.  "I see you taking a long trip.  On this trip you will meet a tall, dark stranger."  That's what they all say, right?  To be honest, I never gave it a second thought till now."

"When you say you never gave it a second thought, I don't understand what you mean by that."

"In retrospect, rather than take the woman seriously, I decided this was all just way too incredible.  My mind rebelled against the idea that this strange woman knew what she was talking about.  Maybe that's why what she said didn't really hit home like it should have.  I thanked her and left the table." 

"How long did the reading last?"

"Five minutes."

"Was the gypsy on the level or did one of your guy friends pay her to say that?"

"Ha ha, very funny.  Before I returned to our table, I stopped to re-evaluate the woman from a distance.  I felt the gypsy was sincere.  She struck me as on the level in a no-nonsense sort of way.  The more I think about it now, I had reasons to believe her if I wanted to.  First of all, the woman had no way to know I was in an unfulfilling long-term relationship.  But I suppose that could be a lucky guess since it is true for many women.  Second, the woman had no way to know I was already thinking of taking the cruise trip you had organized.  No one knew this but me.  But what really got me was when she said, 'You already know the person you will meet.'  That blew my mind.  If she was making stuff up, why would she add such a pertinent detail?"

"Let me make sure I have heard you correctly.  You were contemplating taking a cruise trip and you were supposed to know the person you would meet.  Did you assume your future would lie with someone in this dance group here at the club?"

"No, not really.  At the time I was more interested in seeing what my friends thought.  I could not keep this to myself, so I told my Swing friends about the Gypsy.  They all thought it was a great story.  I asked if anyone else was going to have the gypsy read their cards, but there were no takers.  Let me frank.  When I saw how easily everyone dismissed the story, I treated her suggestion lightly.  To think the gypsy could see my future was so incredibly weird.   And then I got distracted.  Now that the subject of my journey had come up, my friend Sherry reminded me how she had asked me to come on the trip and be her roommate.  When Sherry shifted my thoughts, I stopped thinking about the gypsy.  I like to cruise, your trip sounded like fun, I was already irritated at Chris, so this might be a nice way to step out on my own."

"Did you believe the gypsy had quite possibly laid out your future for you?"

"No.  I really didn't give it any thought.  People always talk about soul mates and meeting your one true love, but like I said, I kind of laughed it off.  Even though I believe in Fate, by the time I reached my car, I had already forgotten about the gypsy."

"That is very difficult for me to believe.  If someone predicts I will meet the person I will spend the rest of my life with on a trip, that's something that would stick in my mind.  Actually, in my case, I would mull it over every waking second for the next week, maybe longer."

"Of course that makes perfect sense now, but the Gypsy completely slipped my mind until tonight when you started talking about Fate and Fairy Tales.  It's odd how the person you are with affects your viewpoint.  With my friends, it was a silly joke.  With you, I am starting to wonder if the gypsy was on the level.  Could what the gypsy foretold be true?  Are you the guy I am destined to spend the rest of my life with?  How did this gypsy woman read my mind?  How could this woman know I was in an unhappy relationship?  How could this woman know I had already been thinking about taking a certain trip?  Now I have to wonder if the woman actually did have a gift of second sight.  Do you think such a thing really exists?"

"Yes, Marla.  Back when I was in college, I spent two years researching things like telepathy and predestination.  I found reasons to believe in both.  As for ESP, when I was in college I met a girl named Vicky who claimed she had psychic ability.  Due to an unusual event, I discovered Vicky knew things about me that proved beyond any doubt she could read my mind.  It was very spooky."

"What do you think about predestination and gypsy fortune tellers?  Like I said, I believe in Fate, but I am not quite sure why.  Tell me why you speak with such certainty." 

"I believe in Fate due mostly to my own experiences.  But there also stories in history that shout 'Fate'.  The most obvious is the Titanic tragedy."

"Did Nostradamus predict that one too?"

"Not to my knowledge, but other people did."

"Like who?"

"There was a man named Morgan Robertson who wrote a short novel that contained startling similarities to the 1912 sinking of the Titanic.  Not only did Robertson name his doomed ship the 'Titan', his ship struck an iceberg and a critical shortage of lifeboats caused a huge loss of life.  Making things even stranger, his book was printed 14 years before the tragedy.  Then there was another guy who predicted a similar maritime tragedy as far back as 1886."

"What happened?"

"His name was W.T. Stead or William Stead if you prefer.  Stead was a Victorian era newspaper editor who had a side interest in spiritualism.  Stead was convinced he would drown to death someday.  In 1886, he published an article titled "How the Mail Steamer went down in Mid Atlantic".  Unlike Robertson's story which was a near-clone of the Titanic tragedy, Stead's steamer collides with another ship.  The parallel to the Titanic disaster began when Stead predicted a serious loss of life due to an insufficient ratio of lifeboats to passengers.  Stead added, "This is exactly what will take place if ocean liners are sent to sea short of boats." 

"Yes, Rick, but that isn't mysticism, that could be attributed to common sense."

"I agree.  And if Stead had stopped there, no big deal.  However, six years later, Stead published another story, "From the Old World to the New".  This time he wrote about a vessel which rescues the survivors of a ship that had collided with an iceberg.  But that's not all.  The next part is really crazy."

"Tell me."

"William Stead died on the Titanic!"

"Really?"

"Yes.  Here's what happened.  Stead was an important guy.  He boarded the Titanic for a visit to the United States.  He was scheduled to take part in a peace congress at Carnegie Hall at the request of President William Taft.  There was a widely held belief that Stead was due to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize that same year.  If Stead had not died on the Titanic, he might be famous today for his work."

"Does anyone know how he died?"

"Because Stead was well-known, several people recalled seeing him.  Stead had been in a good mood earlier in the evening.  During dinner that night, he spoke about his interest in the occult.  He told a tale about the cursed mummy at the British Museum.  After the Titanic struck the iceberg, Stead helped several women and children into the lifeboats.  He was also seen giving his life jacket to a passenger younger than himself.  Stead was last seen in the water clinging to a raft alongside John Jacob Astor.  Suffering in the freezing water, eventually Stead just gave up and let go.  Stead ended up drowning just like he always believed he would.  He seemed to have used the vision of his own death to indirectly predict the fate of the Titanic.  If you don't believe me, the whole story is on the Internet."

"That is a really strange story, Rick."

"I know lots of strange stories.  That's why I try to stay open-minded.  It is stories like the Titanic, the ship that even God couldn't sink, that make me believe certain events are predestined.  So tell me again why you came on this cruise.  Was it the gypsy's prediction that persuaded you to come?"

"No.  Sherry deserves the credit.  You're not going to believe this, but when I say I completely forgot about the Gypsy, I mean it.  After I told the gypsy story to my friends, I claimed I had a busy day the next day and split.  Thanks to Sherry reminding me of how much she wanted to go on the cruise, my mind shifted from the gypsy to giving Sherry's request more thought.  I had a copy of your cruise flyer laying on my desk, so when I got home, I took another look at it.  As I've told you, I love to travel and I especially enjoy taking cruises.  I had already taken seven cruises in my pre-SSQQ days, so your cruise was already on my mind.  The trip sounded like fun, so I opened my computer to check who was already booked for the trip.  On your web site I found the 'Who's Going' list.  I scanned the list of 50, but was disappointed because I didn’t know a soul."

"What about me?  I was number one on that list."

"Sorry.  I'm sure I saw your name, but it never registered."

"When you say you had a blind spot where I was concerned, you really mean that, don't you?"

"Yes, Rick.  Must have been that pixie dust, huh?  Unfortunately, the guy that I liked wasn’t on the list.  But maybe if I signed up first, Bob would notice and sign up too.  So the next day I called your travel agent and signed up for the cruise with Sherry as my roommate."

"Thank goodness.  When you signed up to come alone, that gave me a firm reason to hang in there."

"I’m glad you did!  So now that you have heard my story, do you believe the Gypsy's prediction was Fate?"

At that, I laughed out loud. 

"You promised not to laugh." 

"Don't worry, I am not laughing at you.  I don't doubt your story for a moment.  I am laughing because it is all so ironic.  The Gypsy said you already knew the person, but when you looked at the Internet list, my name was completely invisible to you.  I was the only person on that list that you knew by name, but my face never crossed your mind.  If you had any idea how much it bothered me that you never paid attention to me, you would understand."

"Why did that upset you so much?"

"I have never in my life drawn a bigger zero with a woman than I did with you.  It wasn't an ego thing, Marla, it was more of a mystery thing.  We hit it off so well in dance class, I could not figure out why that rapport did not extend any further.  When I show interest in a woman, I am accustomed to seeing some sort of reciprocity.  But I could not see a flicker of interest in your eyes and it really frustrated me.  As for believing the gypsy's prediction, why shouldn't I believe it?  So far everything has played out just like the fortune teller said it would.  It was like the woman wrote the story long before it happened.  I find that to be amazing as well as eerie.  I don't know what the future holds for us, but based on my feelings for you, I can easily see us going a long way together.  What do you think?"

"Yes, now that I know you, I believe we have a chance to be special."

"I am glad you share my interest in Fate.  I think you would be surprised how many people believe in Fate, not just me.   One of the reasons I believe in Fate is due to experiences like how we met on this cruise.  Your total lack of interest in me supports my theory of Cosmic Blindness.  Your six-year inability to free yourself from Chris, a man whose treatment borders on cruelty, supports a different facet of my theory of Cosmic Blindness.  Given the unusual coincidence surrounding our chance meeting in the Disco, I wonder if messages were telepathically placed in our minds to guide us there at the right time.  That supports my belief that ESP can create coincidences.  But your Gypsy story takes the cake because it supports the concept of Predestination. In fact, these events are so obviously out of the ordinary, it feels like God prepared a demonstration on the existence of Fate just for our sake."

"I can see why your theory appeals to you.  It was strange how I jumped to the wrong conclusion every step of the way yesterday.  I was definitely way more suspicious than necessary.  But I liked the way we talked it through afterwards."

"I believe the affinity we feel for one another points to a lifelong bond.  Has it crossed your mind we may be soul mates?"

"Yes, of course." 

"Here's what I think, Marla.  I think we should view the Gypsy as a sign, a good omen.  Given what has happened, I want to commit to you.  I say this because my instinct tells me this is the right thing to do.  I know we are supposed to take it slow, but I don't see the point after what we have been through these past three days.  I do not want to see other women.  I do not want to play any break up and make up games.  I not wish to do anything to make you suspicious of me again.  Let's commit to one another right now and see how far we can go."

Marla smiled. "That’s exactly what I am feeling.  I feel like I have known you forever.  I am ready to commit to you tonight."

In retrospect, our problems on the second day of the trip turned out to be a blessing in disguise.  Hearts are often broken when words are left unspoken.  Our ability to overcome yesterday's rough patch gave us the confidence we could handle anything the future might bring.  Convinced we saw eye to eye on important issues such as honesty and loyalty, these long talks deepened our trust in each other.  In my case, seeing how hard Marla had worked to solve our communication problem helped build my confidence in her.  She said the same thing about me.  It was gratifying to learn right from the start that the other person was willing to talk through problems till we found a solution. 

Marla and I agreed that we were married in spirit the moment we met at the Stroke of Midnight on the first night.  Once we slew our Distrust demons, it was clear sailing from that point on.  We boarded the cruise as two people, but left as one.  We have never been apart since.  Who says Fairy Tales don't come true?   Marla and I have been very blessed.