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MYSTERY OF THE
TEXAS TWOSTEP
CHAPTER FORTY TWO:
THANKSGIVING
Written by Rick
Archer
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LIMBO
MONTH
five
THURSDAY morning, NOVEMBER 22,
thanksgiving
SINGING THE BLUES
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When I
awoke on Thanksgiving morning, I instinctively
reached for Jennifer. Imagine my sadness when
I realized I was
alone in my own bed. This wasn't how the
fantasy was supposed to work. Jennifer
was supposed to be by my side today.
Instead I
had two dogs staring at me ready for a walk. I loved
Emily and Sissy, but I preferred Jennifer. The emptiness I
felt was almost unbearable. Seven weeks of hard work
to win Jennifer back had
gone down the drain last night. During this
time, I had apologized,
shown restraint, and told the truth at every turn.
And it had worked. Jennifer was ready to
forgive me.
However, at the exact moment I got tantalizingly close,
all Hell broke loose. Now I was
back to Square One.
Full of
despair, I hoped against hope that Jennifer would
give me another chance. So I called
Jennifer to see if she had a change of heart.
What I really wanted to do was to come see her again
today and
patch things up from last night. However I was too gun-shy to come right out and say it. I decided
to feel things out first. To my relief, when Jennifer
answered, it sounded like she
was happy to hear from me. However, it didn't take long
for her skepticism to kick in.
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"Rick, I'm
glad you called. I
feel terrible about last night. You deserve points for telling me the
truth. I also admit that I believe you
when you say that your relationship with
Victoria is over in your mind. However, no matter how many times
you tell me it
is hopeless between Victoria and you, it doesn't look to me like Victoria is rational enough
for us to predict what she will do next. A
woman in her right mind does not resort to
blackmail to keep a reluctant lover in her
grips. A woman in her right mind has
empathy and can see her selfishness hurts
the man she cares about. A woman in her
right mind does the correct thing and willingly
sets her captive free. Victoria does just the
opposite. She is completely blind to the
cruelty she inflicts. Therefore I conclude
you are dealing with a sick woman. So what
if Victoria isn't paying any attention to you at
the moment? Victoria has you under her
thumb."
"If I am under Victoria's thumb,
then what was I doing in your apartment
last night?"
"Don't give me that. You know damn well you
were sneaking behind the woman's back while she sorts
it out with Michael. She knows where to find
you when she is ready. I am little better than a
mistress and I refuse to sneak around. I deserve better.
Life is long; I can wait till the smoke clears."
Jennifer
paused to choose her words carefully.
"Rick, I know you care about me. But you
are nowhere near as free as you claim to be.
You can promise me the moon, but when Victoria
snaps her fingers, I am almost certain you will
betray me again just like you did the last time.
I trust that you tell me the truth, but I do not
trust your nature. Admit it, you are
Victoria's pawn!! That bitch snaps her
fingers and you jump. I don't trust you because
I expect you will cave in at the next
threat. That woman has way too
much power over you."
I
disagreed, but it did no good. No matter what
I said, Jennifer stuck to her
belief that I was deluded to think I was my
own master.
"I want to
start over again, but everything seems so risky.
I hate the fact that I have no way to confirm any of
the information you are giving me. I believe
what you say to some extent, but something tells
me there is some horrible secret that you are
guarding. I can't get past that
feeling. I am certain that you will burn
me again if I let you get close."
"I won't
let that happen again, I promise!"
"You
don't understand. A woman cannot
turn her heart on and off. I was in love
with you so much that the pain of your betrayal
still haunts me two months later. In my
weakest moments, I think of you in bed with
Victoria and I just want to scream with anguish. I cannot
get past how much pain you caused me even though
some of it was my own fault. I am wounded
and I am scared to try again.
Maybe you are telling me the whole truth.
But maybe you don't know the whole truth. What
bothers me is that I don't know how much
Victoria is lying to you. I am also
concerned you are not capable of seeing through
her lies. All I have to go on is the
information I receive from you. If I
were to watch her in action and meet her in
person, maybe I would change my opinion of her.
But that is not going to happen. I am not
going anywhere near that woman. That
forces me to rely on what you tell me. I
worry that you are unable to decipher
the lies and half-truths
from the silver-tongued she-devil. As it
stands, I am afraid there is a good chance
I will get
two-timed again. Well, I won't let that
happen.
Rick, I'm sorry, but we will have to talk about
this later. I am afraid I have some
bad news for you."
I knew instantly what she
was going to say. Unfortunately, I was right.
"Things were tough last night. It is
Thanksgiving and I
don't want to be alone, so I have
decided to see my family. I called my
mother this morning to confirm I will be driving
to Dallas today."
The pain
hit immediately. I knew
this was going to happen! I was so angry I wanted to scream. I
was certain Jennifer had originally planned to spend
the day with me. Now she was running to Daddy
and Jeffie Poo instead. I did not deserve
this. I was so upset I wanted to pull my hair out
and hit the wall with my fist. However I kept it together
on the phone despite my temper.
"Is this
something you had planned?"
"No.
I had planned to be with you. But it is Thanksgiving and I should be with my
family. They said they would wait for me.
I am leaving the moment I get off the phone with
you. It's a four hour drive, so I have to
go now."
"Are you
going to see Jeff?"
"Rick, I knew you were going to ask me
that. The answer is I don't know, but
probably yes. I don't want to see him, but
what can I say? I don't think Jeff would
appreciate it if he learned I was in Dallas over
Thanksgiving and didn't contact him. I
hope you understand the position I'm in."
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"Yes, I
understand," I said glumly. "Drive carefully
and we can talk some more when you get back to
Houston."
On
that less than cheerful note, Jennifer hung up the
phone. As I stared into space, I realized
the issue was trust. At some level,
Jennifer didn't trust me. Convinced Victoria would always dominate me, she expected me to
cave in
again when push came to shove. It
did no good to keep obsessing over it. This
was out of my control. Considering how candid
I had been, I had done the best I could. There
was nothing more I could say or do. I felt
totally helpless to rescue this situation. The next
move was up
to Jennifer and I could see where this was
headed.
Feeling like I had lost the love of my life, I was
enveloped by an indescribable sense of darkness.
Was there any hope for
Jennifer? It didn't seem that way. The
only thing I knew was that 1979 was the worst damn year of my life. And it wasn't over yet.
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THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 22
VICTORIA GETS DRUNK
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Today
might be Thanksgiving, but I didn't have much to
feel thankful for. Last year at this time,
I had experienced the worst Thanksgiving of my
life when Patricia took me to meet her parents.
Just when you think things can't possibly get
worse, this year's Thanksgiving set the new
record for despair. Never in my
wildest dreams did I expect my promising
return to Jennifer's arms would spiral so badly
out of control.
Knowing
that Jennifer was driving to Dallas to see Jeff,
I felt a terrible depression setting
in. Knowing there was no guarantee
our latest rift could ever be repaired, hope was
in short supply.
The phone rang and my heart
leapt for joy.
Did Jennifer change her mind and decide to stay
in Houston? I raced to the phone only to realize it was
Victoria. Oh great.
Victoria
was just as depressed
as me.
She was really upset
over Michael's decision to move out. The
emptiness of today's holiday was
unbearable and Victoria was at a loss how to proceed.
And now she was looking to me to cheer her up. Victoria
is calling me for sympathy? This
was pathetic. Here's a dime. Call
someone who cares. But there was no reason
to be ugly.
Summoning what little fake enthusiasm I was
capable of, I asked Victoria about Michael.
"I
thought you were going to invite Michael over
for a Thanksgiving meal."
"I don't think he wants to see me. We haven't spoken seriously since Monday.
I saw him Tuesday after he watched
Stephanie, but he left immediately. He
came by yesterday to pick up
Stephanie. She spent the night with
Michael at his apartment. I am here by myself. I don't know what I am going to
do about today. I hate holidays.
I hate Thanksgiving. I don't even have a
turkey to cook. I think I am going back to
bed until the world tells me it's sorry. Right now I just want
to heat up some chicken enchiladas, have a
couple
margaritas and blow off the
entire day. I hate everyone.
That includes you. That reminds me, I
can't remember why I called you. Why
did I call you?"
Good question. From the sound of her voice, Victoria
had already finished one of those margaritas and
had another in
her hand. Who could blame her?
She was in just as bad a place as me.
Maybe worse? Was it even possible to feel
worse than me? Despite my overwhelming depression, I actually
smiled. The irony
was inescapable. Victoria
was pining over Michael, but Michael didn't want
her. I was pining over Jennifer, but
Jennifer didn't want me. Victoria had
moved mountains to force me to be her boyfriend,
but she didn't want me. Here I was,
the guy no one wanted, and she was calling me
for comfort. I had a great idea. Why don't
Victoria and I invite everyone to Thanksgiving
dinner? We could solve
all our problems in one fell swoop. Michael.
Rick.
Jennifer.
Victoria.
Jeff too. Jackie,
Victoria's teenage friend,
could babysit Stephanie while the
rest of us played musical chairs.
Is anybody happy? Maybe Jeff, but I
doubted it. Surely
he could sense trouble in Jennifer's maddening reluctance to
completely commit. I could not imagine
five more miserable people if I tried. I
tried to speculate how this was going to
end, but I had to quit when it made my headache
worse.
Victoria and I talked a while longer, but it was
aimless drivel. Victoria was drunk getting
drunker. After the phone got quiet for
while, Victoria said, "I
guess I
better call Michael and see what he wants to do.
Have a lousy Thanksgiving. I'll talk to you later. Goodbye."
I
sat there thinking it over. Victoria had
spent the night alone. She was alone right
now. Did the thought of inviting me over
ever cross her mind? It didn't seem that
way. All I could do was shake my head in
wonder. Not that I wanted to see her.
In fact, the thought had not crossed my mind
when we were talking. It was obvious
Victoria didn't want me, so why wouldn't she
give me my freedom?
As
for Michael, I was
reminded of a famous quote.
"When a man steals your wife, the best
revenge is to let him keep her."
I
shuddered. Was Michael praying I would
permanently
take his nutcase off his hands?
That's what Jennifer thought. What if she was right?
What if Michael turned his back on Victoria and
she came after me again? That was exactly what Jennifer was trying to
point out. And yet Victoria could care
less. Why couldn't I get Jennifer to see
this and quit punishing me needlessly?
Right now I felt like the turkey and I had
something in common. We were both goners.
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