I adore Sharon Crawford (Shaw).  

For one thing, Sharon is one of the kindest, most decent human beings I have ever met. I trust her completely. Whenever she is at the studio, I feel much more at ease because she knows just as much as I do about running the studio. In fact, she pretty much did run the studio for several years.  Sharon Saves the Studio

Back in the early 90s, Sharon tried to combine building a law career with managing the studio.  Sharon opened up her own law practice. Any lawyer will tell you it is difficult being in business for yourself.  Despite working hard at her law practice by day and teaching dance by night, she still had trouble making ends meet, especially since ambulance-chasing and defending DWIs wasn't exactly her cup of tea.

Sharon gave it her best shot, but it wasn't enough. She gave her law career a try for about four years, but in 1993 Sharon finally threw in the towel and got a full-time job managing a law firm. As of 2003, she has been there for ten years. 

I accepted her decision of course, but it was one of my saddest days ever. I depended on Sharon so much!  I found that I could always count on her. Whenever she made a promise to do something, she did it and she did it well. I heard a saying once, "Beware the Boss who praises Liberated Women; he's preparing to let them do all the work." Unfortunately the arrow doesn't fall far from the target where Sharon and I are concerned. I just handed her the ball and watched her make the studio wonderful.

Sharon has been teaching at SSQQ longer than any other instructor besides me. She started taking lessons in 1987 and began to teach in April of 1988. Back in those days there were no volunteers, no assistants, no training programs, no nothing. One day someone quit. Sharon was easily the best dancer in the studio so I asked her to teach.  She made the mistake of saying 'yes', then asking when she started. In two days. I threw her to the wolves. I figured what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I doubt Sharon appreciates the beauty of my philosophy. 

Her first night, Sharon was so nervous that she could not speak above a whisper.  Her students literally formed a huddle around her so they hear what she was saying.  Looking back, it was pretty brutal.  However it was obvious right from the start that Sharon was a born teacher. Her dancing ability was obvious to everyone, she had the gift of explaining what she did in terms that were easy to understand, and her patience was greatly appreciated. Even more than that, Sharon has a natural warmth that puts people at ease.  Sharon was - and still is - very easy to like. She quickly became the studio's most popular instructor. 

For the past 15 years at SSQQ,  Sharon has consistently drawn the toughest teaching assignments. Lucky Sharon - she gets to teach the hardest courses: Martian Whip, Death Valley, Advanced Western Waltz, Advanced Western Cha Cha.  This is due to her lengthy teaching experience and her tremendous dancing ability.  It is easy for even gifted dancers to respect her because she moves so gracefully. 

To say Sharon is important to SSQQ is a vast understatement.  Over the years Sharon Crawford has been incredibly instrumental to the studio's success.

Sharon is extremely creative. Our students may not realize that Sharon developed the syllabus for these Advanced programs herself.  Like her fellow SSQQ staff members Judy Archer (Salsa, Lindy, Swing) and Susie Merrill (Heartbeat, Night Club Twostep), Sharon has shown the ability to create entire dance programs.  

Back in the 90s, Sharon Crawford and the Death Valley advanced Western Swing program were synonymous. At that time Sharon and her friend Patrick Steerman were involved in western competition dancing.  While training for competition dancing, Sharon learned many intricate patterns and incorporated them into 12 different Death Valley levels.

At the same time for much of the 90s, Sharon taught our most difficult course - the Martian Whip series.  I imagine it was pretty tough on her to teach these two demanding courses week after week. She joked that she wasn't sure she could still teach Beginning Twostep, but I promised it wasn't a problem since she was never going to get the chance anyway.  No one could replace her at the top.

Most people at SSQQ in the 2000s know Sharon through her popular Western Waltz and Western Cha Cha series. Both courses contain many highly sophisticated patterns. The Waltz course has 5 levels and the Cha Cha course has 4 levels. Although she will quickly point out she received help from her friends Patrick Steerman and John Jones, Sharon deserves a lot of credit for creating these difficult and sophisticated courses.  

Sharon has received a lot of acclaim over the years for her excellence in teaching.  If you see a couple dancing a lovely Waltz at a Western night club, don't be surprised if you find that Sharon was their teacher.  I would surmise that Sharon Crawford has trained more people to Western Waltz than any other teacher in Houston by a wide margin. One night I was watching several of her students practice after class.  They were in their fifth month of Western Waltz. My jaw dropped in awe at the beauty and excellence of their dancing.  They looked as good as many professionals in my opinion.  Sharon deserves a teaching medal for her work in this area. 

Like many creative people, Sharon can be a real out to sea flake sometimes. Unfortunately for Sharon, she does have a weakness. Sharon is easily teased. She is good-natured and never fights back. This plus the fact that she is a beautiful blonde makes her vulnerable to smart alecks like myself and others. And sad but true, Sharon can be very absent-minded. She does many, many things to make herself a perfect target. 

The following events are all true stories in the "Legend of Sharon Crawford".  Sharon claims they are embellished, but like tales from "Ripley's Believe it or Not" I witnessed each of them personally and can attest to their veracity.  

Every September SSQQ has a Dude Ranch Western Party.  The idea is to dress to the nines in Western wear. Most people do not realize Sharon was the inspiration for this party. 

Sharon is a very sharp Western dresser. Back in the 90s, Sharon and her friend Patrick Steerman competing in Western Dance Competitions on a regular basis. As a result, Sharon acquired several beautiful and very expensive Western costumes for to perform in.  The problem was that Sharon would wear the costume once, then 'retire' it so she wasn't seen in the same old costume at each competition.  

These gorgeous outfits just sat in her closet at home taking up space and collecting dust.  This bothered Sharon a lot.  One day she complained to me about all these beautiful outfits taking up room in her closet.  With complete seriousness she stated what a shame it was she never got any opportunities to wear them.  What a waste!

Well, this gave me the idea to have a Dude Ranch Party in honor of Sharon Crawford. The idea would be for everyone to "overdress" at the party.  Whoever wished to dress flashy and fashionable could do so without having to feel self-conscious. They shouldn't hesitate to take a fashion risk. Indeed anyone who showed up wearing simply blue jeans and a white shirt... the long-time standard for Western dancers...would be ignored as not worthy. I assumed this would make Sharon happy because now she would have the PERFECT opportunity to wear one of her elegant outfits. Wrong !  Sharon was miserable.  And she made me miserable as well. Sharon simply could not make up her mind which outfit to wear. 

Sharon went nuts with indecision. She had at least 7 outfits that were gorgeous!  What was she going to do?  Which one to wear?  Each day she changed her mind. She worried about it constantly. Finally she asked my advice. I recommended she wear all of them!  I said she could wear one for a while, go change, wear another for a while, go change, and so on. Sharon thought this was brilliant!  A party in her honor where she could wear all her different outfits. What more could a girl ask for?

I am sorry to say that despite my good intentions this idea backfired. Sharon indeed ended up wearing all her outfits, but what we didn't anticipate was all the time it took to take one off, hang it up properly, and put another one on.  Other than a wonderful Waltz performance with Patrick, Sharon spent practically the entire night changing clothes.  

Apparently Sharon's elaborate competition dresses took a lot of time to put on and take off.  She would come out of the bathroom just long enough for me to take her picture with Patrick, then run right back in and change again. 

People kept coming up to me asking where Sharon was. They had heard about her beautiful dresses.  Frustrated by standing outside the restroom practically all night with my camera, I flippantly said, "Sharon is changing; if you want to see the dresses, why not go in the restroom and check out her latest dress?" 

I had no idea this suggestion would backfire as badly as it did. Women kept going in and out of the restroom all night long. There was an endless parade of well-wishers visiting with Sharon in the restroom which of course slowed things down even more. There was a line at the door!   People would clap as she would make an entrance from the Ladies Room. Sharon would quickly pose with Patrick, I would snap her picture, and then she would race right back in. For this one night Sharon was the without a doubt the best dressed Western woman in SSQQ history, but it was really not as much fun as she thought it would be.  Due to her inability to choose her favorite outfits, she spent nearly the entire evening changing clothes.

Sharon is so versatile that she can even look good when she is poverty-stricken. A few years back we had a "Broke and Penniless" Party on Tax Day, April 15. From scratch Sharon made a form-fitting dress out of a potato sack. With her usual brilliance she even saved the receipt from the potato sack purchase for tax purposes. There was a nerdy sort of guy named David who had a big crush on Sharon. He would watch her make popcorn and just gush over her. "Oh, Sharon, you can sew (potato sacks), you can cook (popcorn), you are thrifty (saving potato sack receipts), now if you were only Jewish !"  I believe if Sharon had shown interest in converting, David would have flown her to Vegas on the spot.

This story is almost to weird for words. I can't help but smile again as I tell you what happened. 

Perhaps the classic Sharon Crawford story was the night she held her hand on another woman's breast for 3 solid minutes during Whip class.  Yes, this is a true story.  Sharon is so bizarre at times I don't have to make this stuff up.  

Sharon was learning the man's part by participating as a 'Lead' in my Beginning Whip class. This was long before she began to teach Martian Whip. 

On a move where the man's hand is on the lady's hip, I had everyone freeze in that position so I could explain what to do next. Sharon was watching me over her left shoulder with her head turned away from her lady partner.  

My eyes went from one man to the next to make sure they were positioned correctly.  This was a tricky move and I wanted to be sure they got it right.

Suddenly I froze.  Sharon's right hand had completely enveloped her partner's breast!!

I did a huge double-take and looked again.  No, I wasn't imagining it!   Sharon had completely covered the woman's left breast  with the open palm of her right hand!  Sharon's hand was all over her breast, but even stranger the lady allowed it continue!   Furthermore, although the woman had the weirdest perplexed look on her face, she never moved!  She just stood there patiently letting Sharon merrily squeeze away!  It was the strangest thing I had ever seen in a dance class.  

Dismayed, I told everyone to relax and asked the men to go to one side, ladies to the other.  It was the quickest way I could think of to get out of that position without raising eyebrows.  I apparently was the only person to see what was going on.  Thank goodness the situation had not gotten any worse. That could have been very embarrassing.

At Break I asked Sharon what on earth she had been doing.  

"What do you mean, Rick?" 

"Gee whiz, Sharon, you had your right hand all over that woman's breast!!  What were you thinking?"  

(Note to reader- don't ever ask Sharon what she is thinking because sometimes she will tell you something so weird you will wish you hadn't asked.  That was definitely the case here.)

Sharon's reply was, "My hand was on her breast?  Really?  No kidding!  Oh good, that explains it.  While you were talking, I was wondering why her hip felt so weird but I was afraid to look!" 

I looked at Sharon's face. She was completely serious. Unbelievable. I just shook my head and decided to let it be.

However there was still something that was really eating at me. I couldn't figure out why the lady didn't just move Sharon's hand away or reach down to adjust her shoe or do something/anything to solve the problem. The lady on whom Sharon had planted her hand was a short, quiet attractive middle-aged Oriental lady. Not one common sense answer came to me the entire second hour of class.  Finally I couldn't stand it any more.  After class I decided to ask her about it.  I thought I was ready for any explanation, but her answer still blew my mind. 

"Someone told me Whip is a very sexy dance.  I thought Sharon was supposed to have her hand there. Besides, I didn't mind!  I like dancing with Sharon!"  

I had to use every facial muscle I possessed to keep a straight face. I excused myself and went to the men's room where I exploded with laughter!   The more I thought about it, the harder I laughed.  Yes, Whip is indeed a very sexy dance!  Too bad more ladies aren't as open-minded as our cooperative lady was!

Was Sharon flattered when I told her the lady's nice words about her?  No. Sharon was appalled. Poor Sharon. I still remember her exact words, "Good grief. I think I should stick to being a girl."

Sharon has the wonderful ability to alternate between a practical super-sharp do-it-all Superwoman and a total space cadet. For example, Sharon can go to the trouble to save a canvas sack receipt for tax purposes one day, then turn around the next and blow $50 with a 29 cent mistake. Sharon can be quite absent-minded. As studio manager, Sharon was in charge of paying bills like the rent, the electricity, payroll, things like that. One time SSQQ had twenty bills return in the mail because she put on 3 cent stamps, but forgot to add the 29 cent stamps. We incurred about $50 in late charges as a result. Oh, Sharon.

Another time Sharon got spiked in the foot while dancing. Ouch!  This really hurt. Sharon fought to hold back tears as we all sat on the couch offering sympathy. A friend who was a nurse suggested Sharon put an ice-cold Coke can on the injury to reduce the swelling. Sharon thought that was a good idea, so she sent someone to fetch a can for her. When he brought it back, she took it, opened it, drank some Coke, then began to stare at the can with a troubled look. Despite our misgivings, for nearly 2 minutes the three us watched quietly while Sharon stared at the can. Then like a computer finally springing to life from a completed task, Sharon blinked, looked up, and asked, "How do you keep the coke from spilling out of the can?"

This absent-mindedness has gotten Sharon in trouble a bunch of times. Our final story is vintage Sharon Crawford, but to tell it correctly requires a little detour. Every now and then in class new students are surprised when their instructor suddenly selects them for the Color-Coordinated Award. Most people do not have a clue where this nonsense began. We need this background information in order to understand Sharon's next adventure.

Back when Sharon first started at SSQQ, we used to have impromptu Color-Coordinated Awards in almost every class. Nowadays we just do it when we are in the mood, but there was a time when it was a regular feature every night. It got so silly that students would actually call each other on the phone ahead of time. They would line up their outfits in a pathetic attempt to win that night's contest by cheating. People are so competitive!!  

As some of the energy of the Urban Cowboy-era started to fade in the mid-80s, Western clubs looked for ways to maintain interest. They started promoting one Western dance contest after another. It always seemed to me that the couples that won wore matching outfits so as a joke I would make it a point in dance class to single out the man and woman whose outfits most closely matched each other. It didn't matter whether they knew each other or not; I was just having my own silly joke. For example, I would do stupid things like have two guys turn a lady upside down to demonstrate how well her gray pants and blue shirt matched a man's gray shirt and blue pants. I was younger then. Actually I was much younger then. I guess you had to be there, but it seemed funny at the time. I might add that my instructors thought I had lost my mind. In retrospect...

One day in my favorite Western class we were about halfway through when I noticed a couple almost perfectly matched. Before I could stop the class to deliver the Award, something bothered me so I hesitated. I realized that next to them there were two more people wearing the same outfit. My mind did not work swiftly, but I sensed I was on to something so I kept staring. People were grinning at me because they were all in on the joke.

Suddenly it dawned on me that EveryBody in the room was wearing the same outfit!!  It had taken me over 30 minutes to realize this. I guess I had been concentrating on teaching for a change. Imagine that.  Something had actually been bothering me all night.  Sadly I had been wondering to myself why everyone thought I was so funny that night!  I mean, they laughed at every joke I told and everything I said.  Now I grimaced as I realize the entire time my class had simply been giggling at the fog I was in. HaHa, joke's on you, Rick. Gotcha.

Margie Saibara and Diane Head had organized this little scheme behind my back. There were 20 people wearing blue jeans and white shirts. This of course was the combination that won about half the time anyway. White shirts just happen to look good with blue jeans. By chance I too was wearing blue jeans and a white shirt that night and so was Judy Price who was teaching in the other room. Chalk it up to Synchronicity. This fact had bothered my plotters, but once they saw how oblivious I was, they realized I hadn't been tipped off. So their little joke at my expense worked like a charm!

Now back to Sharon Crawford. 

Although I started this stupid color-coordination award tradition, Sharon thought it was funny and made a point to select winners in her classes as well.  In fact, I think she took it more seriously than I did, a fact I took note of because it worried me. Sometimes Sharon is too serious for her own good.  

Sharon cannot help herself. By nature, Sharon is an extremely "curious" person. Her mind is constantly racing. For example, one day she told me she had stayed awake all night wondering why there is a Pretzel included with the 6 other fruits in Ms. Pac-Man, her favorite video game. There is an Apple, a Cherry, a Strawberry, a Banana, a Pear, and a Grape, she pointed out, but why a Pretzel?   Sharon actually lost sleep one night because of a Pretzel.  I kid you not.

Another time she asked me if I knew why the light at the top of the Transco Tower is visible some nights, but not others. I didn't know, so she asked everyone at the studio the same question. They didn't know either, although explanations ranged from fog to clouds to Swamp Gas to Aliens. I am just glad the X-Files wasn't on during Sharon's questioning years or we might have lost her forever. That show defies any explanation, but of course Sharon would never have realized this until it was too late. I gave up trying to figure out the X-Files a couple seasons ago. I decided the show didn't make sense even when it tried to make sense. But I used to worry that Sharon might start watching. The SSQQ Staff was warned never to discuss the X-Files when Sharon was around... which brings us to our concluding episode of the Legend of Sharon Crawford.

You the reader might think that we are being over-protective where Sharon is concerned. Wrong! 

Case in point. One time Sharon became so paralyzed with curiosity we feared for her sanity. The incident began innocently enough.  While Sharon was teaching in another room, one of my students showed up a little late for class with calamine lotion covering his hands. 

Steve Alf told me he had contracted a bad case of poison ivy. He said he didn't want to infect anyone and had only come to watch. We were short a couple guys and the girls all liked Steve. Poison Ivy or not, they wanted him to join the class. Fortunately I had some blue and white gloves at the studio. Offering them to him, I said if he wore those on his hands there was little chance of spreading anything. By coincidence the gloves just happen to match Steve's blue jeans and white shirt to a T.  This was of course back in the days when we had our standing joke about being color-coordinated.  

Gratefully Steve put them on and joined the class. At the time no one sensed the risk of our actions, but one hour later a blonde beauty suddenly appeared in our doorway. The Beauty stood frozen, statuesque in the image of the classic Greek Goddess Athena...the Goddess of Wisdom...the Goddess of Curiosity... but was this a goddess? ... or was it a mortal who resembled a goddess?   Who could it be?... no, not her....yes, you guessed it!...

sHaRoN cRaWfOrD!!!

Yes, it was Sharon...and she was peering intently at Steve. It was the same eerie gaze I had seen with the Coca Cola can; I could see her mind was sinking fast.  I sensed an emergency intervention was needed STAT!!

"Can I help you, Sharon?" I asked. 

No answer. Sharon's eyes were riveted in a deep hypnotic trance. Seconds passed. The clock ticked. Finally in a barely audible whisper Sharon asked, "Why is Steve wearing those gloves? " 

Mind you, during Break over 40 people had passed that door with barely a glance at Steve, but only Sharon had stopped to stare. Sharon was cursed with the dreaded mind-threatening Curiosity Gene which sometimes causes hair to turn yellow! !  

Sharon was mesmerized!   Steve's gloves wielded their hypnotic power. Sharon glared. Sharon stared. Her mind was on the verge of locking up. The Jaws of the Abyss were opening to swallow her curiosity-crazed brain forever!  My clinical background told me ego mass confusion and maladaptive catatonic brain lock were imminent!  I had only an instant to act!  

Sharon was staring so hard at Steve her eyeballs were practically bulging as she fixated on his blue and white gloves...  

I uttered the only words that could save Sharon from possibly a lifetime in a mental institution...

"Sharon, guess what!!!  Steve is trying to win tonight's color-coordinated award!  Isn't his outfit great?"

The reaction was instant!!  A huge smile crossed her face as consciousness flooded back in. Her eyes regained their sparkle. "I knew it; that's exactly what I thought!  What other reason would explain those gloves!!" she said in triumph. She had figured it out.  Now totally at peace with herself, Sharon walked away without another thought.

Thank God Steve hadn't worn a shirt with a Pretzel Logo. We might have lost her forever.

After this close call, I issued a Staff Memo. From then on the SSQQ Staff has been very careful with Sharon. They are on notice to come get me if "The Look" ever reappears. 

I might add if you the reader ever see a strange look cross Sharon's face in class, call for help immediately. But most important, no matter what else, if you see Sharon has that funny look, don't EVER tell her a blonde joke!  That could erase the hard drive. Permanently.

Sharon is too valuable for SSQQ to ever lose. Like the amazing John Nash in a "Beautiful Mind", Sharon is our fragile genius.  Please help us protect her.

2010 FOOTNOTE ABOUT SHARON

As I reviewed the original story about Sharon with 2010 eyes, I couldn't help but think this article about Sharon is very disjointed.

In fact, there are stories about Sharon and SSQQ all over my web site that aren't even mentioned here.  Her contributions to this dance studio have been profound indeed.  However I don't feel my original story about Sharon even begins to capture how much Sharon has meant to SSQQ. 

I suppose I did an adequate job in my first write-up about Sharon in 2002.  However I can do much better. One of these days, I intend to come back to this page and try to convey in a much deeper way the importance of Sharon Crawford Shaw to SSQQ and to my life. 

Sharon is a doll. I love her very much.  I will eternally be in her debt for the many ways she has helped this studio.

Rick Archer
February 2010