MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER EIGHTY FIVE:

STRIKE THREE

Written by Rick Archer 

limbo month seventeen
Monday, NOVEMBER 3, 1980

DOWN TO MY LAST DESPERATE CHANCE

 

Monday, November 3, was the start of my much-anticipated Western Double Turns class.  As promised, Judy Price was waiting for me at 6 pm, one hour before class.  I prayed I might pull something out of the hat at the last minute.  However I doubted this last-ditch meeting with Judy would save me.  I berated myself unmercifully for going so far out a limb.  Why do I always promise something before I am sure I can deliver? 

The answer was simple.  I was paranoid that a teacher from another studio knew the secret.  They would offer a Double Turn course before I did and take all my precious students.  I understood I held a loyalty with my students, but this involved bragging rights.  My students were dying to join the select few who knew the secret.  Indeed, Double Turns were such a hot item with the women that any man who gained access to the Secret would instantly become the most popular man in the club.  Chuck knew this and so did a lot of other men.  Considering the man who learned the Double Turns first would rule the Rain Forest, 'Loyalty' to my dance program never stood a chance. 

Fearing my students would be gone in a flash, I promised to teach the Double Turns before I knew what I was doing.  I took this gamble as a way to keep people from looking elsewhere.  If I could solve the mystery, these Double Turns would light up my Western program like wildfire.  Unfortunately right now it looked like my gamble was more likely to backfire than wildfire.  I had little faith that the missing Insight would appear in time to save me. 

This was the first night of a new month.  While Miss Moneypenny collected tuition for the new Double Turn class from the mob out in the hallway, I reviewed my clumsy Traveling Swing moves with Judy behind closed doors.  My invention did not work very well.  Judy knew it and so did I.  Judy spoke up.  "Rick, whatever you do, please don't teach what we just worked on.  I am certain it is wrong."

I nodded.  Like Pamela, Judy knew me too well.  She feared I might try to bluff my way through the next hour, so she cautioned me that this was the wrong path to take.  And with that, the Sands of Time expired.  It was time to begin my class and I had come up empty.  I was dumbfounded.  This was the most complete and utter failure of any project I had ever attempted in my life.  Despite two frenzied weeks of searching, class was about to begin and I did not have the answer to save my soul. 

Pale as a ghost, I walked into class.  I was greeted by 50 students who had just paid a considerable amount of money expecting me to deliver on my promise.  I was a nervous wreck.  Why did I fib to these people that I knew the answer?  This had to be the dumbest thing I had ever done in my life.  Right now it felt like a stadium full of people were staring at me.  Should I try to fake my way through like I had in the past?

No.  Judy's warning rang true.  I decided the days of Fake It Till You Make It were over.  For once I told the truth... well, sort of.  I told them I wasn't prepared to teach the turns tonight [true].  I said I was putting the finishing touches on my system [fib].  All I needed was one more week [a dubious promise].  In other words, I told a fib to escape a fib.  I gambled that one more week of trial and error would extricate me from this jam.

I said that anyone who wanted their money back tonight could do so, but I would prefer if they would give me one more week to fine-tune my 'System of Turns'.  In other words, I asked them to give me the benefit of the doubt.  I based my entire reputation on getting one more week.  Did I mention I had enjoyed a good reputation up till now?  I had just risked everything in return for one more week.

"Hey, guys, please forgive me.  I tried really hard, but there is something tricky about these turns that I am having trouble figuring out.  The footwork to the Double Turns is not the problem, it is the issue of the rhythm where I am stuck."

I double-turned Judy several times to demonstrate that I really did know how to turn girls.

"What I can't figure out is how the rhythm of the Twostep fits the Slow-Slow-Quick-Quick correctly.  If you stick by me, I am positive I will have the answer by next Monday.  In the meantime, let's forget about the rhythm problem and spend the night practicing the footwork to the Double Turn."

This was a smart move because it was at least some progress.  The men learned how to lead the Double Turn and the ladies learned the footwork.  In a sense I delivered some of what they wanted.  However, without knowledge of how the rhythm and footwork fit the music, they were not ready to use Double Turns on a dance floor.  Disappointed, my 50 students left class wordlessly.  Thank goodness they didn't fuss at me.  I felt sick enough as it was.  I had let these people down.  After class, Judy came up to me.

"Good for you, Rick.  I am proud of you for telling them the truth.  That was the right thing to do."

I nodded.  Things had not been as horrible as I had imagined.  There was some grumbling, but my candor worked.  However, I had just killed my Last Cat.  The Nine Lives were gone; no more excuses would be tolerated.  I had given these people MY SOLEMN WORD that the Double Turns would be ready next week.  My pledge was good enough for these people, but truthfully I still had no answer.  All I had done was make another rash, totally bullshit promise that was sure to get me deeper into hot water. 

The next time I failed, I doubted my students would be quite so polite about it.  It would be Refund time and time to hit the Exit Door. 

"Rick Archer, the man who promised Double Turns and Failed."

Would this be my epitaph?

NO JOY IN MUDVILLE

Might Casey had struck out. 

When I got home that night, I slumped into my chair.  This was the most defeated I had ever felt in my life.  I had made a firm promise I could not keep.  I morbidly noted that November was the one year anniversary of the Ides of Waltz Disaster and Fright Night.  I had escaped by the skin of my teeth, but not this time.  After three years of one successful gamble after another, this time I had met my match.

My mind raced back to the bogus Waltz move I taught to Devin and Mona a year ago.  Back then I had received a last-second 'Inspiration' which had saved me.  I had prayed for a similar inspiration tonight, but none was forthcoming.  Thank goodness I had a year's worth of credibility to rely on.  That was my saving grace.  My students  were willing to forgive me on one condition... I had to produce next Monday.  Would that be enough time?  I was terrified I could not produce an answer. 

So far the secret of the Riddle had eluded me in August, in September and in October.  What made me think I could solve the problem between now and next Monday?  I fully expected to fail.  I was facing a challenge for which I had no answer. 

Monday's failure weighed heavily on my mind.  Although I had missed my deadline, I had risked what was left of my damaged reputation on a one-week extension.  The way I felt, this was at best a stay of execution.  Next Monday, I was almost certain to turn up empty-handed again.  I expected to pay a serious price.  As it stood, I fully expected to draw blanks for the next week because I did not know what else to try.  This was not a situation I could fake my way out of nor did I have anyone to turn to.  For the umpteenth time, I asked myself if I could solve this problem "if my life depended on it".  I would have to say the answer was 'probably not.'   That was a very scary thought.  I hung my head in shame.  

It is important to understand that my natural state is Curiosity.  I am drawn to puzzles like others are drawn to ice cream.  I question and analyze everything.  If ever there was a person qualified to solve this strange problem, it was me.

I was well aware of the 'Don't give up' maxims.  Thomas Edison had a famous quote.

'Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration'.

I could honestly say I had put in the 99% perspiration and perseverance.  However the 'Genius' part was elusive.  Okay, so maybe I am not as smart as I thought I was.  But what about Bob?  Bob, a genuine genius if there ever was one, had also failed.  Why?  What were we doing wrong?

All my hard work was getting me nowhere.  Not one day passed when my mind did not return to this issue.  However, I was exhausted.  I had reached the point when I was out of new ideas to try.  Ordinarily, will power, persistence and hard work will solve a lot of problems.  But so far 'Will Power' had not come close to solving the Riddle.  It would take 'Insight' to solve this problem.  I had no control over insight.  It either comes or it doesn't.   If I had not managed to have the correct insight after three months of working on the problem, what made me think I could find that insight in the next couple of days?  Feeling utterly and totally defeated, I hit a complete Dead End.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1980

HERB FRIED
 

Coming up empty on Monday, I had been given a one week reprieve.  On Tuesday morning, I tried explaining the problem to Glen again.  It did no good.  Glen had no idea what I was talking about.  It was like speaking Greek to the Chinese.  Throughout the lesson I felt overwhelming anxiety.  Realizing I had no new ideas left to try, I fell deeper into my state of hopeless resignation. 

I had given up hanging out in clubs.  It was time consuming, I never got a good look at the few men who led the Double Turns, and if Ammonia didn't ambush me, some other woman would.  It was easier just to ask a lady student to stay after class and let her help me experiment.  On Tuesday night I practiced after class, but no answer.  Six days left.

I skipped Cowboy on Wednesday evening to practice with a different female volunteer after class.  No answer.  Five days left.

On Thursday morning I got a phone call from a man named Herb Fried.  Herb said he worked with Bob Job in the lab at Shell Oil.  Herb said Bob considered me a good teacher and recommended me highly.  Herb said he wanted to learn the Latin Hustle, my favorite Disco partner dance.  Filled with dejection, I glumly thanked Herb for sharing Bob's nice words.  We agreed to meet on Saturday afternoon at Dance Arts for a private lesson. 

Thursday night passed with another volunteer.  No answer.  Four days left.

Friday passed.  Another woman, another failure.  Three days left.

As the date of my execution drew closer, I was filled with a horrible dread.  I was not exactly on 'Death Row', but that's how I felt.  I was going down, I was sure of it.  Nevertheless, I continued to search.  On Saturday morning, November 8, I met with my committee for the third Saturday in a row. 

Bob, Bill and Judy were just as upset as me.  And just as bewildered.  The four of us spent another two hours searching for a solution.  Yet again we still got nowhere.  I was devastated.  Nor was I alone.  My friends felt terrible for letting me down.  It made no sense that we could not make these Double Turns fit the rhythm of Twostep.  Judy and Bill couldn't take the frustration anymore, so they left.

Bob stayed behind.  He was just as discouraged as I was. 

"Rick, you have my word that I have never failed to solve a problem in my life that I put my mind to.  But for the life of me, I do not know what we are doing wrong." 

Bob paused for a moment, then added, "I will continue to give it some serious thought.  I will call if I come up with something."

I replied, "That's assuming I survive Monday night's firing squad."

"Oh, don't be so morbid.  They are more likely to tar and feather you.  Besides, they know you will suffer more if they let you live."

I laughed in spite of myself.  "No kidding!  I have never been so miserable in my life.  Incidentally, who is this Herb Fried guy who called me on Thursday?"

"Herb's my buddy at work.  Herb is new here in Houston and doesn't have a girlfriend.  I told him that Dancing is the fastest way in Houston to get a love life and he believes me.  Herb is taking private lessons right and left trying to catch up.  I am always curious to know what he has learned, so we compare dance steps anytime no one's looking."

My ears perked up.  "Does Herb know anything about our Double Turn problem?"

"Yes and no.  He is aware of the problem since I asked him about it, but Herb couldn't figure out the solution either.  To be honest, I have never been so baffled in my life."

I nodded glumly.  "That makes two of us.  I feel so damn stupid."

After Bob left, the studio was deserted.  I stuck around for an hour waiting for Herb Fried's arrival at 1 pm.   As I sat there, I was despondent.  What was I going to tell my Monday class?  The truth.  What good would it do to fib some more?  I saw no other choice but to tell the truth and admit I still had not found the answer.  This was getting ridiculous.  I shrugged my shoulders.  I was resigned to failure at this point.  To heck with Thomas Edison.  To heck with Try, Try Again.  I would simply hand everyone back their money and tell them I had failed.  What else could I do?  Smoke and mirrors would not save me this time.

Hearing the sound of someone walking down the studio's long hallway, I looked up and saw Herb arrive for our afternoon lesson.  Herb was a short Jewish guy.  He had dark curly hair and a thick beard.  Herb spoke with an East Coast accent, so I asked if he was from New Jersey.

"Yeah, actually I am.  How did you know?"

"I went to college in Baltimore.  I had some college roommates from Jersey."  Noticing that Herb had come alone, I said, "By the way, when will your partner be here?"

Herb looked surprised.  "I'm sorry, I came by myself.  To be honest, I'm so new in Houston I don't even know a woman to ask.  Is that okay?"

Oh great, as if my day couldn't get worse.  To begin with, I was a head taller than Herb.  Nor was I petite by any stretch of the imagination.  I had danced the woman's part to the Latin Hustle a few times with Glen, but usually quit after one song because I was so bad at it.  For a moment, I thought perhaps I could bluff my way through the lesson, then thought the better of it.  Herb would surely realize I didn't know what I was doing.  Why not just tell him the truth?  Back in the beginning of my career, I was faking it pretty much any time my lips were moving.  However, now that I was established in my career, I did not have the heart to deceive people any more.  Those days were over. 

"Herb, I have a confession to make.  I am not very good at dancing the girl's part to the Hustle.  However, if you are willing to go slow, I think I can figure out the lady's footwork well enough to make it worth your time to be here.  I can definitely teach you the patterns and the leads, but we may need to skip dancing to music."

Herb laughed. "Sure, Rick, I don't mind.  Bob warned me you were tall, but I thought he was just jerking my chain as usual.  But I really want to learn the Hustle, so I'm game if you are."  Herb paused, then added, "Just because you are a head taller and 50 pounds heavier shouldn't matter.  I'm sure you have the makings of a fine woman."

With that, I grinned a little.  I liked his sarcasm.  Herb and I would get along just fine.  This turned out to be an odd lesson.  Herb helped make me a better woman while I taught him how to dance the man's part.  To my surprise, I was able to guess the lady's footwork well enough to serve as an adequate partner.  If we had danced to fast music, I would have been lost, but by taking it slow I did okay.  I even learned some useful ideas about 'Following' in the process.  I was impressed at how quickly Herb picked up the Hustle material.  He was a smart guy, well above the usual learning curve. 

Curious, I asked Herb why he was such a good dancer.  "Bob told me you are a beginner, but you are very good at this.  In just one hour, you covered the same amount of material I teach in an eight hour group class."

Herb smiled at the compliment. 

"Oh, I go Western dancing all the time.  In fact, Bob and I are always trading moves at work.  Not a day goes by when we don't argue over who knows more moves than the other guy.  Don't tell Bob, but I have started taking lessons over at Arthur Murray.  There's a woman named Betsy who teaches western.  She shows me all sorts of things.  Lately I've gotten the edge on Bob a couple times and he can't stand it.  But do me a favor.  Please don't tell Bob where I get my moves.  I enjoy watching him get bent out of shape when he loses." 

My eyes grew wide.  Hmm.  Herb took private Western lessons.   Did Herb know something about the Double Turns??  Bob said Herb didn't have the answer, but why not ask anyway?  Hoping against hope, I steered our conversation to the subject of the Riddle. 

"Herb, do you know anything about how the Western Double Turns work?"

Herb frowned.  "Bob told me about your struggle.  He compares it to the Riddle of the Sphinx.  Bob and I have been arguing about that move for the past two weeks.  We have a lot invested in seeing who can solve the problem first."

What kind of a non-answer answer was that?  It sounded like Herb was trying to politely dodge the question.  Well, tough, I had too much riding on the subject to be polite.  Trying not to appear too anxious, I asked Herb again.

"Do you know anything the Double Turns?"

Herb shook his head ruefully.  "No, but I wish I did.  It would drive Bob nuts if I solved the mystery before he did."  

I frowned.  Damn it, another dead end.  Just then I noticed Herb was hesitating.  I stopped breathing.  Something was up.  About 10 seconds of silence passed by, the longest 10 seconds of my life since Linda Shuler.  Herb seemed to be making a decision.  When his expression changed, it looked like he was going to say something.  I nearly died with anticipation.  

"You want to know something funny?  Like I said, Bob would die if I figured it out before he did.  So, just to irritate him, at my Arthur Murray lesson this morning, I asked Betsy if she knew the answer."

I said a silent prayer.  "Please, God."

"Betsy told me she has no idea how the Double Turns work.  But recently she heard a rumor.  An Aggie friend of hers said the turns start on the Quick-Quick.  That took me by surprise.  However, I haven't had the chance to check it out yet."

I almost choked to death.  Start on the Quick-Quick??  Absurd!!  Twostep begins on the Slow-Slow, everyone knows that.  No one... repeat... no one in the past three months had suggested starting Twostep on the Quick-Quick.  This was a completely new idea.  Trying to stay calm, I took a long, deep breath.  With my heart racing, I replied, "I have never heard that before.  Did Betsy really say the turns start on the Quick?  That doesn't make any sense."

"I'm with you, Rick.  I've never heard of that idea either.  I always thought Twostep started on the Slow just like you do.  "

We stared at each other in silence as we contemplated the unthinkable.  Herb's suggestion left me so stunned that I didn't know what to make of it.  Over the past year, I had started anywhere from three to five thousand Twosteps on the Slow-Slow.  I was so certain this was the 'Right Way', it was inconceivable that anyone could start a Twostep move on the Quick step.  Herb's idea was tantamount to Heresy and Blasphemy.  But what if he was right?

THINKING THE UNTHINKABLE

Copernicus was the Polish astronomer who suggested the Sun was the center of the solar system, not the Earth.  Copernicus was not only smart, he was wise.  Copernicus had the sense to die soon after publishing his theory.

Giordano Bruno was not so lucky.  Bruno was an Italian scientist who studied Copernicus.  Bruno was convinced the Polish scientist was right.  Bruno's assertion that 'the Sun is the center of our solar system' caused a nasty uproar in the Catholic Church.  The Catholic Church was so incensed it demanded that Bruno recant.  Bruno refused, so they threw him in jail.  After eight years of imprisonment, the Church grew tired of his rebellion and sentenced him to death.  They expected Bruno would yield, but he resolutely stuck to his guns.  Bruno was burned at the stake for the sin of Heresy.

Herb Fried's suggestion that Twostep started on the Quick reminded me of Copernicus and Bruno.  The thought that Twostep might start on the Quick was INCONCEIVABLE.  If Herb wasn't careful, we might have to burn him too. 

Every dance that Glen had taught me started on the Slow.  But it was not just Glen who had me convinced.  Lance Stevens said the same thing.  For that matter, people who had learned Twostep from other instructors said their teachers started on the Slow.  Every person I had ever met started the Twostep on the Slow.  I was so locked in, I assumed that even God started Twostep on the Slow.  Who was I to disagree with God? 

•  East Coast Swing started on the Slow. 
•  Foxtrot started on the Slow. 
•  Rumba started on the Slow. 
•  Bolero started on the Slow.  
•  Tango started on the Slow. 
•  Waltz started with a long step that Glen called the Slow. 

I was so sure of myself, I knew Herb's idea could not possibly be the answer.  On the other hand, I was slightly more open-minded than 16th century Catholic priests.  I was already aware that something was wrong, very wrong about this Double Turn problem.  Little snippets of curiosity began to sneak in from all corners of my brain.  Was it possible I had been looking at this problem the wrong way?

Starting the Twostep on the Quick-Quick was impossible!!   But what else did I have to try?  I had eliminated everything else.  Just then, I recalled a Sherlock Holmes quote.

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." 
       -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle as stated by Sherlock Holmes

I shook my head in consternation.  "I don't know about this, Herb.  I mean, starting on the Slow is the way people have danced the Twostep here in Texas for the past hundred years.  For that matter, I have never heard of a single dance that started on the Quick."

"Me neither," Herb replied.  "Betsy's suggestion had never crossed my mind before.  Why do you think I was so reluctant to tell you about it?  I assumed you would laugh me out of the building."

I shook my head in wonder.  "Ordinarily I would do just that.  But I have been badly humbled by my inability to solve this problem.  For that reason I am no position to laugh." 

"I know exactly how you feel.  I didn't want to say anything until I experimented with it myself, but maybe you can help me figure it out.  Do you know of any rule that says it can't be done?  Will they put us in jail?"

I gave a half-hearted snicker in one of those laugh or cry sort of ways. 

"They might put us in jail if they catch us dancing together, but it is no crime to look for an answer to this mystery.  I don't know if there is any rule forbidding someone from starting Twostep on the Quick, but I doubt it.  You know what, maybe that is why none of us can solve this problem.  After dancing five thousand Twosteps night after night this past year, my mind is so rigidly convinced that Twostep is meant to start on the Slow that I never imagined there might be another possibility."

Herb nodded.  "Me too.  And probably Bob as well."

We stared at each other in dumbfounded silence.  After taking a deep breath, I let out a huge sigh.

"I have been through an ordeal.   My inability to solve this problem has stripped me of all pride."

"I don't think you should beat yourself up over this.  Starting on the Quick would have never have occurred to me either."

I gave Herb a rueful smile.  "All I know is that your suggestion goes completely against my mind-set.  However, at this point I am ready to try anything.  I don't see any reason why we can't try starting on the Quick." 

Herb nodded.  "It's worth a try, isn't it?"

"Nothing else has come close to working, so yes, it is definitely worth a try.  Where should we start?"

"I'll tell you what, Rick, since you're so much taller, I'll be the girl.  Why don't you double turn me using both rhythms?"

I slowly double-turned Herb using Slow-Slow-Quick-Quick.  As always, that didn't feel right.  Then I tried Quick-Quick-Slow-Slow.  To my surprise, I noticed Herb stopped without any difficulty on the fourth step, sometimes referred to as the 'Second Slow'.  Curious, I repeated the experiment again using Quick-Quick-Slow-Slow.  Herb maintained his balance throughout the double turn and came to an effortless stop at the end.  Best of all, his pose looked like the 'Open Position' I had seen on the dance floors. 

Wow!  This was it!   I was filled with goose bumps.  This was the solution, I was sure of it. 

Herb knew it too.  He grinned and said, "Eureka!  I think we have found our answer!"

"Me too.  Riddle solved."

"Yeah, I think starting on the Quick-Quick is what we've been looking for.  What do you think comes next??"

"I don't know.  Probably I should go under my left arm.  You can cross behind me."

I tried going under my arm, but when it didn't work, I panicked.  Maybe this wasn't the answer after all.

"But, Rick, you started on the Slow-Slow.  Don't start on the Slow, start on the Quick."

I was perplexed.  "But I've never started a move on the Quick-Quick before!"

"Well, neither have I, but try it anyway.  If the Double Turn starts on the Quick, then it stands to reason the next move would start on the Quick as well.  Try your move starting on the Quick-Quick."

It took a while for this new concept to sink in, but eventually I figured out what Herb meant.  Once I began the next move starting on the Quick-Quick, this follow-up pattern worked as well.  I felt weird like the Earth had just flipped on its axis or something.  Everything in my mind was upside down.  Fortunately the more I got used to starting on Quick, things began to feel right.  As I crossed under my left arm, Herb got into position to Double Turn again.  We did not know it at the time, but on the spot Herb and I had cooked up the two basic patterns of the Double Turn.

Impressed with our discovery, I said, "Whoever figured out this Quick-Quick-Slow-Slow timing deserves a lot of credit."

"I agree.  I wish I had come up with the idea myself, but I didn't.  I can ask Betsy who her friend is, but she will probably just say her friend learned it from someone else.  All she said was the guy was some Aggie guy.  Betsy told me the Aggies are the keepers of the flame when it comes to Western dancing.  My guess is one Aggie passed it to the next.  I think is fascinating how the Aggies managed to keep that Quick-Quick secret to themselves for all these months."

"Good point.  I doubt seriously we will ever know where the idea came from."

At this point, Herb had to go.  He handed me some money for our lesson, but I refused to accept it.

"Herb, don't be ridiculous.  You just saved my life.  I should pay you instead and throw in my first-born for good measure."

Herb understood.  He kept the money and shook my hand instead.  "I was glad to help, Rick.  But don't forget your promise."

"What's that?"

"Don't tell Bob about the Arthur Murray lady.  Now that I've got the answer, on Monday at the office I am going to tell Bob I figured it out by myself.  Mr. Know-it-All will be so mad that I got it right before he did.  Just to see the look on his face will be priceless!!"

I smiled.  "Good idea, Herb!  Gosh, I wish I could be there to help you rub it in.  One more thing... thank you from the bottom of my heart!"

As Herb departed, I was filled with immense relief.  Considering what a jam I had been in, this last-second reprieve was a very curious moment indeed.  I had expected to enter class on Monday and be forced to admit my abject failure on the toughest problem of my life.  Herb's timely intervention would spare me the ignominy.  Thank goodness. 

THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX
 

Although I felt immense relief that the problem was solved, I was bitterly disappointed.  This was the most humiliating experience of my entire life, in some ways even more humiliating than being thrown out of graduate school.  I mean that.  Back at Colorado State, my personality problems were so profound, I never had a chance.  However, with the Riddle of the Double Turns, I had the answer at my fingertips and still couldn't see it.  It was maddening to see how utterly simple the answer turned out to be.  

All I had to do was reverse the rhythm!!  Why was this so difficult to figure out?  Indeed, considering my wide circle of college-educated friends, how was it possible that so many bright people remained in the dark?  The more I thought about it, the more depressed I became.  I had staked my reputation on my ability to solve this problem only to fail miserably. 

Fortunately, there was one person who was sure to be happy.  That would be the lovely Judy Price.  Poor Judy.  Between Bob, Bill, and myself, we must have double-turned Judy starting on the Slow a thousand times over the past three weeks.  She would be very relieved to know her ordeal was over.

I too was relieved, but mostly I remained tormented.  I could not understand my failure to think outside the box.  Not once did I ever imagine starting on the Quick.  Not once.  Strange, very strange.