MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER NINETY SIX:

WALTZ KINGS

Written by Rick Archer 

limbo month twenty three
MAY 1981

SEND ME DOWN TO TUCSON
 

May was not a good month for me.  Jane did not return to dance class following the wild Graduation Night at the Winchester.  Heartbroken, I spent the entire month in mourning for my lost love.   Despite her absence, Jane was not forgotten at the studio.  The story of her sensational 'SLOW SLOW QUICK QUICK' escapade lit up my studio like a torrid forest fire.  People could not stop talking about her.  In a way, her mysterious disappearance helped intensify her fame.  Her absence allowed people to embellish the details.  As if they needed embellishment, right?  The men were the worst.  Every man made sure to claim that he danced with her that night.  I estimate there were at least 50 men from the studio present that night.  Given that the average song is 4 minutes long, during the two hours she was there, her limit was 30 songs at most.  But why let the truth spoil a good story? 

Crazy Jane was fast becoming studio legend.  Personally I wished people would stop talking about her.  I did not need any reminding.  Throughout May, every time a door opened, I looked for my lost love.  No such luck.  As the weeks passed, hope was fading fast.  I went through May suffering from an inescapable depression.  In addition to Jane and Ammonia, I had turned my back on Taylor, Lynette and Julie.  Nor did it stop there.  New smiles emerged to replaced discarded ones.  But what difference did it make?  I didn't want any of these smiling women.  I wanted Jane. 

For some odd reason, every time I went dancing at Texas, I heard a Waltz song that reminded me of Jane.  'Send Me Down to Tucson' told the story of a married man who is sent to work in another city for a brief time.  There he meets a woman who takes his breath away.  He soon finds himself engaged in a sultry romance.  The singer wishes his 'Lady', i.e. his wife, could satisfy his passion the same way his mistress did. 

Send Me Down to Tucson, Mel Tillis,

No one wants to go down to Tucson in the summer
So this time the boss chose me
I’ve been sort of restless
yes he thought it might help if
I got away from my wife and family

There’s been no other woman since the mother of my children
And in each and every way she’s a Lady
Now there’s one that I’ll remember
a sultry night we spent together
And she satisfied the love inside of me

I know my Lady's not to blame cause they raised her prime and proper
While another takes her pleasures where she can
The one in Tucson she don't hide it and when she gets excited
She makes you feel you're every inch a man

But if I could have a wish that I knew would be granted
Don't you know that one wish would be
Just to lay beside my Lady and she'd be the kind of lady
To satisfy the love inside of me

Send me down to Tucson and I'll get the job done
And call up the one whose love is free
She may be easy and I love my Lady
But the Lady don't satisfy the love inside of me.
 

The Tucson song came to symbolize my Night to Remember, the night I passed up Jane's offer of love.  With her pleas for love vividly etched in memory, I often wondered what might have been.  Trying to make myself feel better, I whispered the Tucson lyrics to myself every idle moment.  While humming the lyrics, I recalled every detail of my time with Jane like it was yesterday.  That included the memory of holding her in my arms before parting.  How could I forget?  That was the most intense shiver I had ever felt.  As my mind continued to debate the correct course of action, I kicked myself for what I had missed every single day.  As the song suggested, Jane made me feel every inch a man.  Assuming the connection we had was just the tip of the iceberg, I constantly toyed with the idea of calling her.  Do Affairs always have to turn out poorly?  What if Jane was telling the truth about her understanding with Harold?  My heart begged me to contact her, but my self-discipline said no.  Every time I went to lift the phone, my instincts warned me calling her was a very bad idea.  Learn from the past.  Learn from your mistakes.  Do not chase a married woman!! 

I suppose the one thing that saved me was the belief I had made the right decision.  What was the most important thing in my life?  The studio.  Thanks to the Western Swing Synchronicity, the studio was firing on all cylinders.  Classes were filled to the brim and people were falling in love left and right.  Convinced that God trusted me to conduct the studio on spiritual principles, I felt obligated to honor my promise to Victoria.  Strangely enough, the story of Camelot was prominent in my thoughts.  No, not the Camelot at the Pistachio Club, but rather the Camelot of Arthurian legend.  This was a kingdom that had flourished due to enlightened leadership.  Based on principles of altruism and chivalry, Camelot collapsed due to a terrible violation of the spirit that had marked its heyday.  The last thing I wanted was to see my amazing studio disrupted by my poor judgment.  I felt a duty to serve the people my studio was meant to uplift.

For that reason, I was glad that I had obeyed the dictates of the lesson I had learned with Victoria.  However, it broke my heart in the process.  These many months of constant self-denial threw me into a serious funk.  When would that darn Victoria ever decide what she wanted to do with her life?  I prayed for Limbo Captivity to reach a conclusion before I lost my sanity.

Suffering from heartbreak, I taught my classes in May, but did not feel remotely sociable.  My loneliness forced me to show up for the nightly dance events.  However, I frequently retreated to the shadows and just watched.  Sorry to say, I regressed in the development of my public personality.  I was reluctant to approach strangers, I was lousy at small talk, and I avoided getting to know the students beyond a superficial level.  Although I was surrounded by a swirling hurricane of positive energy, I gave at best a tepid effort.  I put on a mask and smiled blankly.  When people pestered me too much, I would ask some girl to dance and go out on the dance floor as a face-saving way to avoid an unwelcome conversation.  Once in a while, I would see students hug and kiss after a dance.  It would put me in such a bad mood that I didn't want to be there anymore.  When no one was looking, I would sneak out and go home.

Deep in depression, I was able to teach, but not much else.  I moped around and spent a lot of time in a reflective mood.  At the moment, the studio was on fire with both guns blazing.  Although I was mad at myself for not manning the helm with my usual fervor, I imagine I would have snapped out of it if I had been needed.  One afternoon it crossed my mind there wasn't anything I had to worry about.  For the very first time, I realized the dance program had reached a place where its continued success was guaranteed.  If I wanted to goof off for a while, go right ahead.  I earned it. 

Fortunately, I was not needed at the moment.  As it turned out, I had a safety net.  With perfect timing Jann Fonteno stepped up and took the reins of our developing social program.  During my mourning stage, my one comfort was watching Jann as she spread her warmth far and wide.  I felt a real admiration for Jann.  She was far and away the studio's most effective hostess since Victoria in her 1978 Pistachio Club/Camelot heyday.  Still a loner at heart, I could never accomplish what Jann was doing.  Jann was a seamstress.  Every night she found ways to weave a legion of unconnected people into a tight network of friends.  I marveled as Jann poured her heart and soul into the studio. 

Earlier I spoke of Jann's Hotline idea.  Every night Jann's phone rang off the hook as students called in to see where The Gang was headed.  Once they arrived at their destination, Jann was sure to greet them.  Jann did not stop there.  She learned the names of all the new faces, then made sure to introduce them to someone she could count on to extend the welcome.  Her leadership was effective because people could sense her sincerity.  As Jann circulated through the crowd, people gravitated towards her to ask questions.  This is how Jann became the studio spokesperson.  Probably due to my ever-present frown and terse responses, people decided it was safer to leave me alone and go ask Jann instead.  Jann never seemed to tire of dispensing suggestions and information.  No matter how many people peppered her with questions, she was happy to oblige.  Jann was nothing short of wonderful in her Hostess role. 

Given that I was temporarily useless, thank goodness for Jann's timely effort.  Although we never discussed what motivated her to dedicate so much time and energy, I made sure to tell Jann how grateful I was.  Meanwhile I continued going through the motions.  It was embarrassing to see the studio doing just fine without me, but at least it gave me time to heal.  Despite my personal trauma, I could tell the combination of Jann and the memory of Crazy Jane had elevated the dance program to another level.  Was this 'Perfect Storm' of events a case serendipitous luck?  Or was the connection between Jane and Jann part of God's plan for the studio?  If this was indeed Destiny in action, thank goodness I had the sense not to screw it up.  I got out of the way and let Jann lead us to the Promised Land.  That said, I was on Supernatural Alert the entire time.  It seemed to me I was witnessing Fate take place before my very eyes.  It was oh so very convenient that Jann stepped up at the exact moment to take advantage of the impetus provided by Crazy Jane. 

MAY 1981

TRIUMPH OF THE DISCO DANCERS
 

Credit for the explosive growth of my dance program was due to Jann, Jane, the Winchester Club, the move to Dance Arts, and the two-hour format.  However, the most important change of all was the development of 'Western Swing'.  

Once upon a time I worried that Western dancing was a fad that would fade away.  That worry was long gone.  Now that the dancing had become more complex thanks to the Western Swing Double Turns, the Texas Twostep had become a lot of fun.  Some people would say 'Western Swing' and 'Twostep' are the same thing.  While that is true, I prefer to see 'Western Swing' as the Action side of the 'Twostep'.   Let me explain. 

The popularity of the Twostep was the Peaceful Easy Feeling.  Anytime a man puts his arm around a lady's back, good things are sure to happen.  The popularity of Disco was the Fast and Furious pace created by the Double Turns.  To my undying amazement, now that Disco Double Turns were added to the Twostep, it felt like the spirit of Disco partner dancing had been reborn into Western dancing.  To my surprise, I enjoyed Western dancing as much as I once enjoyed Disco dancing.  Maybe even more.  Why? 

Bob's description of Western Swing as 'Disco on the Run' was accurate.  The ability to integrate Disco patterns into the traveling nature of Western was pure joy because it added the missing 'Action' element.  By combining the excitement of Disco turns with the romantic feature of dancing close, Western Swing was the synthesis of two styles.  It was the best of both worlds.  Twostep allowed a man to put a woman in his arms and chat with her.  When the conversation lagged, the man could swing his partner out to Open Position and double turn her.  In other words, Western dancing now had two styles: Peaceful Easy Feeling plus Fast and Furious.  Given how easy it was to alternate between the two styles, the very nature of Western dancing had been transformed.  By combining the best of Disco and Western, the advent of Western Swing signaled that Western dancing was here to stay. 

'I was Country before Country was Cool' was an accurate slogan for the day.  Since I was a member of the Disco expatriates, I know for a fact that our presence irritated countless kickers who still thought making their women dance backwards was the cat's meow.  As the Big Bubba/Cotton Eyed Joe story made clear, the old-timers made their resentment of the Disco crowd abundantly clear in oh so many ways. 

In the beginning of the transformation, the ex-Disco dancers benefitted from the Ballroom concept known as 'Frame'.  The use of 'Frame' made it easier for a man to lead intricate patterns that the women appreciated.  It was a huge upgrade from 'Girls Dance Backwards'.

Unfortunately the old-timers still insisted on wrapping their sweaty right arm around the woman's neck.  That worked fine if the woman didn't mind going backwards all night.  However that neck hold made it difficult for a man to maneuver the lady through anything beyond the boring basic patterns.

On a crowded floor, the Old Guard could not steer properly.  Meanwhile the use of 'Frame' allowed men to guide their women in any direction where there was an opening. 

Then came the Double Turns to change the face of Western dancing.  In practically no time at all, Fake Cowboys were dancing circles around old-timers who refused to adapt.  Sorry to say, the kickers didn't put up much of a fight out on the dance floor.  Due to the advent of Western Swing, the ex-Disco dancers with their superior dance skills left the veteran dancers in the dust.  The Old Guard could complain all they wished, but once their women decided they liked the new style much better, the game was over.   

And so the Disco crowd got the last laugh.

MAY 1981

MY PAST RETURNS TO HAUNT ME
 

May was the month Jann became my new best friend.  Now that Ms. Hotline had wrapped her world around the dance studio, she went dancing practically every night.  Same for me.  Preferring to postpone the loneliness demons waiting for me at home, I continued my habit of going dancing after class.  As a result, night after night Jann and I ended up in the same place.  Since Jann did not have a job, she was in no hurry to leave.  Who knows, maybe she had some loneliness demons of her own.  Jann and I were often the last two people from our group in the dance club.  We would chat for a while, then I would walk her to her car.  It was all very platonic.  I liked Jann a lot, but I had far too much scar tissue at the moment to feel much of anything.  Besides, I was still doing my best to behave until Victoria came to her senses. 

I could tell that Jann knew something was wrong with me.  However, she refused to pry.  All I cared about was driving to Tucson and looking for Jane.  However, I kept that secret to myself.  Jann knew the current energy surge had been created by Crazy Jane's audacious behavior, but she had no idea there was a story behind it that involved me.  As it turned out, Jann and her dance buddy Jim Garrison were the main reason Crazy Jane became immortal.  In the process, they were also the reason I became interested in the Waltz. 

After class one night in May, I drove over to Texas.  The Winchester Club was still in the picture, but mostly as the destination for our giant end of month Graduation Night.  For normal nights, places like Texas and Dallas were preferable because the music was tailored for our Yuppie crowd.  Even better, no one at Texas threatened to beat us up for being Fake Cowboys or Disco Perverts.  I was sitting at a table with Jann when 'Send Me Down to Tucson' came on. 

"Send me down to Tucson.  I'll get the job done and call up the one whose love is free."

I immediately frowned.  Odd coincidence.  I had just been thinking of Jane.  Was it my imagination or did they play this song every night at Texas?  Although I really liked the song, some nights I would rather not be reminded of my lost love.  Feeling irritable, I muttered, "I don't know, Jann, it seems like every time I visit Texas, I hear this song.  I guess the DJ must really like it."

Jann laughed.  "No, silly, the DJ plays Tucson because I ask him to."

"Is that your favorite song?"

"No, Send Me Down to Tucson is Jim Garrison's favorite song.  Since Jim is my favorite Waltz partner, I make sure to ask the DJ to play this song whenever Jim is here.  I always make sure to buy the DJ a drink and bring it to him early in the evening.  In addition to the drink, the DJ likes it when I flirt with him and tell him how much I like his music taste.  In return, he plays our song and I get to Waltz with Jim.  That makes Jim happy, that makes me happy, that makes the DJ happy.  Happiness is a good Waltz."

To my surprise, Jann got out of her chair and raced to the dance floor.  Jim Garrison was waiting for her by prior agreement.  The moment they began to Waltz, Jann's face lit up with joy. 

Her expression triggered something in my mind, but I could not quite put my finger on it.  So I watched Jann and Jim glide across the floor instead.  I was impressed with Jim's Waltz.  He was leading some pretty fancy moves out there. 

As Jann and Jim circled to the other side of the floor, Bill Stumph and Debbie Oswald passed by.  Their Waltz was equally impressive.  In fact, it was so superior that they reminded me of Lance Stevens, the best Waltz dancer I had ever seen. 

Curious to know how Bill and Jim had become so good at the Waltz, I made a mental note to ask Jann what the story was behind their excellence.  However, it would have to wait.  I just realized why Jann's elation upset me so much.  The memory of an incredibly painful moment in my past sent me hurtling to a very dark place. 

Ah, fair Katie, the wonderful girl who got away.  For lack of courage, six years ago I had walked away from the classiest woman I had ever met.  In the years since, I had never come to grips with losing Katie.  If I had known how to dance then like I did now, Katie and I might still be together.  So what went wrong?   

It was 1975.  I met Katie in a Beginner-level Ballroom class at a time when my dance skills were mediocre.  Over a period of several weeks I developed a crush on Katie a mile wide.  However, due to my Rejection Phobia, I was paralyzed with fear about asking her out.  In retrospect, it is clear that Katie was interested in me.  How much I will never know, but I have a hunch she would have smiled if I found the courage to tell her how I felt.

My downfall took place at a 'Graduation Night' event similar to what we had at the Winchester.  At our final class, our instructor Jack suggested to the class that we meet him this coming Friday at a Ballroom club known as Melody Lane.  This way we could practice what we had learned in his class.  Katie turned to me and asked if I wanted to go.  Of course!  Keep in mind that Katie asked me first.  This was the perfect opportunity for me to suggest we should go together.  However that thought never crossed my mind.  Why I failed to take advantage of such an obvious opening has troubled me ever since, but that's another story.  Due to my oversight, we came separately to Melody Lane that night.

Fearing rejection, over the past six weeks I had not found the courage to ask Katie out.  However, that was supposed to change at Melody Lane.  My plan was to enjoy a night of dancing, then ask her out when the mood was right.  Katie had told me I was the best male dancer in the class.  If we clicked on the dance floor, surely Katie would be receptive to my offer.  However, something went wrong.  As it turned out, our instructor also had eyes for Katie.  What happened next was a disaster so painful I would have nightmares for life. 

It was not a fair fight.  I was a complete beginner and Jack was a master.  Throughout the night Jack used his Ballroom skills to monopolize Katie.  Watching them dance one song after another, I could feel my star fading fast.  The worst part was seeing Katie's eyes light up.  Due to Jack's experience, his lead was so good that Katie was able to perform patterns she had never seen before.  Since Katie was also a beginner, how was this possible?  Katie had a dance background from childhood ballet.  Despite her lack of knowledge, her natural ability allowed her to follow Jack's lead.  Katie was so excited, she was practically glowing out there on the floor.  Meanwhile when I danced with her I was so flustered I couldn't do anything right.  As the night wore on, I became paralyzed with frustration over my inadequacy. 

The final straw came towards the end of the night.  The Last Waltz was a beautiful song sung by Engelbert Humperdinck.  When Jack asked Katie to Waltz, she practically flew into his arms.  I watched in dismay as Jack led Katie through a lovely array of complicated Waltz patterns.  Surprised by her ability to handle everything Jack led, the look on Katie's face was sheer joy.  I will never forget that look because it drove a dagger through my heart. 

Right before my eyes I watched in horror as Jack used the Waltz to steal Katie from me.  On a night when I needed all the courage I could muster to ask Katie to go out with me, I felt completely vanquished.  Given that I was hopelessly outclassed, I could not imagine why Katie would show much interest after this.  Desperation is not sexy.  Even if she did say yes, it would be out of pity, not pleasure.    Well aware that women respond much better to confidence, my chance was gone.  Which is why I left the building without a word. 

However, there was one good thing that came from the evening.  Katie had told me that dancing the Waltz was by far her favorite.  She said dancing a Waltz made her feel graceful and light-hearted.  In the years since, Katie's look of extreme joy became an indelible final image.  Katie had taught me the importance of Waltz to women.

MAY 1981

BEHOLD THE POWER OF WALTZ
 

The smile on Jann's face as she waltzed with Jim was identical to Katie's all those years ago.  Despite the sadness I still felt for Katie, I had enjoyed watching the couples Waltz the night away.  When the song was, Jim, Bill, Jann and Debbie walked off the floor and returned to their table.  After finishing off whatever remained of their drinks, they glanced at their watches.  It was late, approaching 11 pm.  Unlike Jann, Jim, Bill and Debbie had jobs in the morning.  Time to go.

As usual, Jim and Bill offered to walk Debbie and Jann out with them.  Debbie said yes, but Jann declined.  "No thanks, not tonight.  I think I'm gonna stay and buy Rick a beer.  He looks like he could use a friend."

Sitting at a nearby table, I overheard Jann's remark and looked up.  Bill, Jim and Debbie bade farewell to Jann, exchanged nods with me, then took off.  Jann came over and sat down.  "You're looking a bit down tonight.  What's the matter?"

I shrugged.  "Watching how happy you are when you Waltz with Jim reminds me of the girl who got away."

"Are you talking about your friend Katie?"

I nodded, so Jann continued.  "Were you and she close?"

"Heavens no.  We met in a dance class, but I never found the courage to ask her to go out with me.  Instead I nursed a secret crush.  Then came my big chance, a graduation night like what we have at Winchester.  When our instructor told the class to meet him at Melody Lane, Katie asked if I wanted to go.  Of course I wanted to go, so I said I would meet her there."

"Why didn't you ask Katie if she would like a ride?  Seems like the obvious thing to do."

"I have asked myself that same question a thousand times.  Sad to say, the idea never crossed my mind.  I wish it had."

"So you and Katie met at the club."

"Yes.  And now I was in for a nasty surprise.  I was just a beginner.  Since there had not been much of a review, I forgot 75% of what our instructor had taught us over the past six weeks.  I wasn't very good and Katie was frustrated.  Then things got worse.  Once our teacher figured out we had not come together, he began asking Katie to dance every chance he got.  The more they danced, the more Katie warmed up to him.  The worst part came late in the evening when a Waltz came on.  Katie was so thrilled to dance with Jack, I couldn't take it anymore.  Frustrated out of my mind, I just got up and left."

"What a shame.  But if you had come together, you would not have left, would you?"

"No, of course not.  And that would have given me a second chance to redeem myself.  As I drove home, I asked myself over and over why I had not offered to drive her in the first place.  I drove myself mad with self-criticism."

Jann frowned.  "Did you have her phone number?"

"No.  I did not know where Katie lived, I did not know her last name, I did not know where she worked, and the Ballroom class was over.  I was out of luck."

Sympathetic, Jann asked, "Has there been anyone since?"

"I had a girlfriend named Jennifer about a year ago, but Victoria chased her off." 

"What's with you and Victoria?"

I winced.  "Another time, Jann.  I'm already too depressed as it is."

"I'm sorry, Rick, I should not have asked."

"It's okay, I'm just touchier tonight than usual.  So I have a question.  Do you know how Jim and Bill became such good Waltz dancers?"

Jann's eyes lit up.  "Actually, yes I do.  In fact, I helped them."

"Really?  Tell me what happened."

"It started at the Winchester Club party in March.  That's the night I first met you, Bubba and the collapsing Cotton Eyed Joe."

"How can I forget?  You came over to cheer me up."

"Yes.  You looked pretty dejected, so I decided to check on you.  As it turned out, you weren't the only one who got hassled that night.  Something unusual happened earlier in the evening before the Cotton Eyed Joe fiasco.  When Isaac Peyton and his band played a Waltz, Jim's ears perked up.  It seems that Jim had taken a Ballroom dance course back in college.  Jim stood up and said, "Do any of you ladies know how to Waltz?"

Jim and I did not know each other, but we were sitting at adjoining tables.  I was dying to dance, so I raised my hand and fibbed about knowing how to Waltz.  I was the only girl to respond, so Jim grabbed my hand and we raced out on the floor.  That is when I confessed the only Waltz move I knew was the Box Step.  Jim was sweet about it, so he showed me the basic step.  Wouldn't you know it, some idiot ran into us and did not apologize.  Then another guy deliberately shoved me in the back as he and his partner passed by.  When it happened a second time, I realized this was no accident.  I asked Jim to stop before one of us got hurt.  I was really mad and so was Jim.  We went back to our table and we told everyone what had happened."

"Funny you should say that.  I had some dance students who got run over at the Winchester Club two years ago.  I made the mistake of teaching them the Box Step and they were deliberately jostled by several couples who were passing by.  Apparently the Box Step is a major no-no at the Winchester."

"Exactly!  Which is why Jim and I prefer to practice our Waltz here at Texas.  No one knocks us down."

"What happened after that?"

"As we told our story, Bill Stumph walked by to say hello to a girl at the table.  He overheard me, so Bill asked if he could sit down and hear the rest of the story.   When I finished, Bill said the same thing happened to him a month ago at the first Graduation Night.  The moment Bill said he got run over when he did the Twinkle Step, Jim said, 'Yeah, I know the Twinkle.  That's one of my favorite steps.'  The next you know, Bill turns out to be Jim's separated at birth brother.  They couldn't stop comparing notes.  I was mad because Jim forgot all about me.  Meanwhile Debbie was sitting beside me thinking the same thing.  She suddenly burst into laughter."

"What did she laugh about?"

"Debbie said, 'I never thought the day would come when two men would rather talk about a Twinkle than speak to you and me.'"

I grinned.  "That's pretty funny." 

"I thought so too.  I roared with laughter.  In fact, Debbie and I laughed so hard that Jim and Bill finally noticed us.  They assumed we were laughing at them and demanded to know what was so funny.  Just then the waitress brought up another pitcher of beer, so I poured a glass for each guy as a peace gesture.  When Debbie told them about Jim's Twinkle remark, Jim turned purple.  But Bill took it the right way.  Bill agreed he and Jim knew just enough Ballroom Waltz to get us all killed by the rednecks.  For the next half hour, we talked about dancing in general.  Finally it was time to go, but that is when Debbie made a request.  'Hey, guys, before we leave, will you show Jann and me what a Twinkle looks like?'

Once they were sure Debbie wasn't putting them on, the boys agreed.  It was late and people had to get to work, so the floor was pretty empty.  Jim was nice enough to act as look-out while Bill showed Debbie and I how to do the Twinkle. "

"That's an interesting story.  Did you dance the Waltz again that night?"

"No, but Debbie and I got an informal date out of it.  Jim suggested the four of us meet at Texas the following night to continue our Waltz lesson.  That's when things really took off."

"What happened at Texas?"

"We waited forever for a Waltz to be played, so we danced Western Swing to pass the time.  Finally I got up and asked the DJ to play a Waltz.  He played 'Send Me down to Tucson'.  I danced with Jim and Debbie danced with Bill.  Both guys refused to try the Box Step, so they made Debbie and me dance backwards like all the other women.  When we got back to the table, Jim said he really liked that song, but Debbie interrupted.  She said, 'I really hate going backwards for an entire song!  Don't you guys know any moves besides that?'  In response, Bill said he had an idea how he could improve the dance."

"What was that?" I asked. 

"Bill said, 'I learned to dance the Waltz in one place.  My instructor called it Stationary Waltz.  However, it is apparent that Waltz has to travel on Western dance floors.  If Rick can figure out a way to make the Double Turns travel, then we should be able to make Ballroom Waltz moves travel as well.' 

Bill led the four of us over to an abandoned corner, then insisted we try his Twinkle move again.  He tinkered with it and found a way to make the pattern travel rather than remain stationary.  Bill started with me as his partner.  When Bill advanced the long first step on a 45 degree angle, I had to give ground.  By continuing to angle his first step, now the Twinkle began to travel.  I was impressed.  Debbie was watching and now Bill tried it on her.  Debbie was all smiles.  She complimented Bill on being clever and so did I."

"What did Jim say about it?"

"Jim commented that as long as the Twinkle kept moving down the floor, no one would bother to knock us down.  He said, 'Why stop with the Twinkle?  We need to figure out how to make some of the other Ballroom Waltz moves travel as well.' 

When Bill heard that, he agreed.  Both men invited us to meet again next week same time same place."

"That reminds me of how I formed a committee to help me develop the Western Swing.  Is that how the Waltz Project started?"

Jann nodded.  "That's it.  The following week, Jim turned the Twinkle into a new move he called the Crossover.  The week after that Jim and Bill figured out how to rearrange the Box Step so it traveled down the floor in a way similar to a Polka Circle Turn.  Debbie was so excited she said the men had invented a new dance.  The two guys just beamed.  They loved it when Debbie made such a fuss over their ingenuity.  At this point they were hooked on the challenge.  Ever since then, every time we go dancing, at some point Jim and Bill will take me and Debbie over to the corner and experiment with new Traveling Waltz moves."

"It sounds like Debbie has played a big part in this project."

Jann agreed.  "Debbie is very influential.  Don't tell them I said so, but Debbie plays the boys like a fiddle.  She knows when to tease, when to complain, when to praise, when to coach, when to play dumb, you name it.  She's got these guys wrapped around her finger.  Her master stroke came the night she called Bill and Jim 'The Waltz Kings'.  They fell to pieces like it was the nicest thing someone had ever said about them.  Ever since, the two guys have been obsessed with creating new Waltz patterns that travel."

"What about you?  What's your contribution?"

"You know me.  It isn't my style to give anyone a hard time.  I don't like to criticize.  I am more the type to give compliments.  To be honest, I am impressed with the new moves.  They work so well that Debbie and I love to dance with these guys.  Our enthusiasm lets them know they are onto something special.  Ever since we pledged undying loyalty if Jim and Bill would make the Waltz more fun for us, they cannot do enough to please us.  Their grand experiment has been a lot of fun."

I suppressed a smile.  As I have said repeatedly, the desire to please women was the main motivation for the seismic changes in Western dancing. 

"Do you like to Waltz?"

"I love to Waltz.  The music is pretty and the dance is so graceful that sometimes I feel like I am floating.  Jim and Bill have perfect timing, so I can relax and listen to the music.  Best of all, their leads are so clear I don't even have to guess what they want me to do next.  I just close my eyes and pretend I am Cinderella."

Jann was the second woman to explain the link between Waltz and Cinderella.  Who was the first?  Katie.  And with that, my thoughts immediately raced back to my final image of Katie.  As I watched her dance the Waltz with Jack, I would never forget the look of sheer rapture on her face.  To my eternal regret, if I had known how to Waltz like Jim or Bill six years ago, Katie might still be part of my life.  With the memory of Katie haunting me, there were more demons than usual waiting for me at home that night.  

MAY 1981

THE WALTZ KINGS
 

Jann Fonteno occupied a life space almost as strange as my own. Since I worked nights, I could stay out as late as I wanted. So could Jann.  As the last two people in the bar, it was natural to hang together.  I assumed she was rich.  Jann did not have a job and showed no interest in getting one.  However, I had no idea what her story was.  I did not know where she lived or who she was dating.  One of the ways we kept our distance was an unspoken refusal to discuss our love lives.  So what did we talk about instead?  Everyone else in our dance group.  As sole proprietor of the infamous SSQQ Hotline, Jann had made herself the most popular woman at the studio.  Once Jann learned she could tell me anything and I would keep it a secret, I got a nightly dose of studio gossip.  Everyone told Jann their secrets, then Jann turned around and told them to me.  Oh, the tales I could tell!  But I had made a promise, so I kept it.

Until Jann shared her story, I had no idea Bill and Jim had cooked up these excellent 'Traveling Waltz' moves on their own.  Thanks to my private Ballroom lessons with Glen, I already knew the traveling feature was a major part of Ballroom Waltz.  However Jim and Bill did not know this.  They were completely in the dark.  Once I realized they had created these traveling patterns based strictly on their own ingenuity, I was very impressed.  Following my long talk with Jann about the Waltz, I began to pay more attention to Jim and Bill.  A couple weeks later I did a double-take when I saw Jim dancing the Waltz with a woman named Sandy.  Where's Jann?  To my surprise, she was sitting alone.  Half an hour later I saw Jim dance a Waltz with a woman named Martha.  Again Jann sat alone.  I could tell she was fuming.  Huh.  What's this all about?  Now it was my turn to cheer Jann up.  After Jim left early, I pulled Jann aside.

"Earlier tonight I saw Jim waltz with two other women while you sat by yourself.  What gives?  I thought you had exclusive rights to every Waltz due to your pledge of undying loyalty."

Jann frowned mightily.  "Yeah, right, so much for undying loyalty.  You obviously don't know much about men.  Since our last talk, Jim and Bill have become celebrities.  Now that they have honed their skills, they are using Waltz as a secret weapon to become indispensable to women.  Jim and Bill have no equal.  They are the only men who do something besides the Travel Step.  Ever since Jim and Bill let it be known that Debbie calls them the 'Waltz Kings', the nickname caught on.  I guess I should have seen it coming, but now they have a big head.  Over the past couple weeks, women have begun to line up for them.  Now that Jim and Bill are well aware of their star power, they have learned to milk their Waltz ability for every advantage it can give them."

I had a hunch what advantages Jann was referring to, but she obviously preferred a euphemism to spelling it out.  "What about you?  Surely Jim hasn't cast you aside."

"No, he still likes me.  I got Jim's first Waltz of the night before you arrived. However, after that Jim explained that he has responsibility to share his talents with the world.  So many women, so few Waltzes.  He makes it up to me by dancing an extra Twostep with me, but I only get one Waltz per night.  He needs the other Waltz songs for his groupies.  Debbie is being treated the same way.  She reports both men are seeing several women at the moment.  The guys are totally mum about it, but Debbie has psychic powers.  I think Debbie is right.  There is a smugness about them that can only mean one thing."

I laughed.  "Does that mean that Jim and Bill have become ladies men?"

Jann rolled her eyes.  "It seems that way.  Which is pretty amazing if you think about it.  Once you take the Waltz away, you are looking at two geeks.  Now that they are using Waltz like Popeye uses spinach, they think they are God's gift to women."

After pausing to sigh, Jann added, "I suppose my days of exclusive Waltzes with Jim is gone."

"What about Debbie?  Does Bill treat her the same way?"

"Don't worry about her.  She has already adjusted.  Debbie is teaching John Cowen some of Bill's Waltz moves."

The moment Jann mentioned John Cowen, she began to look at me in a funny way.  Uh oh, here it comes.  Sure enough...

"What about you, Rick?  Do you know any Waltz?"

"Sure.  If you don't mind going backwards all night, you can ask me to Waltz anytime."

Jann shook her head.  "C'mon, you can do better than that.  Aren't you willing to learn?"

"Nah.  Why bother?  My girlfriend Victoria has never asked me to waltz, so there's no incentive."

Jann stuck out her tongue.  "You're just as useless as all the rest of the guys.  Look at me, I'm a Waltz widow and you're not willing to help.  What kind of friend are you?" 

Realizing Jann was lining me up for Waltz lessons, I quickly asked her to Twostep.  Anything to change the subject.  Unbeknownst to Jann, I probably knew more Waltz than Jim or Bill.  However, by keeping it a secret, I had a face-saving reason to say no when women asked me to Waltz.  This gave me a chance to rest for a song or two, a much-needed break in the action.  As for Jann, I knew what her problem was.  Jann was fully equipped to fight fire with fire if she chose to.  At the moment Jann preferred to remain 'Just Friends' with Jim as opposed to 'Friends with Benefits'.  And that was her prerogative.  That said, the Garden of Eden was over.  Jim and Bill were the only game in town and right now they had more women chasing them than any other time in their lives.  Intent on exploiting their skill for all it was worth, Jann was out in the cold unless she changed her mind.  Did I feel sorry for her?  Not really.  Jann had lots of men chasing her.  She was just mad because the ones she liked did not want to learn how to Waltz.  Jann was a resourceful girl.  I'm sure she would figure it out.

The following week, when I showed up at Texas, Jann, Bill and Debbie were all missing.  However Jim was there.  Who knows, maybe Jann was still mad at Jim for cutting her off.  Jim did not seem concerned about Jann's absence.  I watched him dance the Waltz twice, a different woman each time.  I was impressed as he led these women through a couple patterns I had never seen before.  This guy really knew his stuff.  I made a mental note to run these moves past my dance teacher Glen.  Then I glanced over at the railing.  There was a row of women leaning against the rail who had Jim on a pedestal.  Struck by the hero worship, I was forced to grin.  Jim was a former nerd who had found his place in the sun.  There was a serious possibility Jim made it through high school and college with so few girlfriends he could count them on one hand.  Now the guy needed an abacus.  As for Bill, same thing.  Bill was a little smoother than Jim, so he needed the other hand as well to keep track of his past loves.  However, the way these guys were going, they needed both hands, both feet and maybe their teeth to keep count.  They must love having all these ladies hopelessly pine for them.  

Oh, to be a Waltz King!  This was a surprising development.  So far in the age of Urban Cowboy-inspired dance popularity, Waltz was the neglected orphan shoved to the corner by Twostep and Polka.  Waltz music was rarely played in the clubs for lack of interest.  No one but Jim and Bill knew how to dance more than one or two patterns.   So why not offer lessons?  As they say, if you build it, they will come.  Nonsense.  There was zero demand for lessons.  Don't tell anyone, but deep down I was a businessman.  If no one is interested, why bother?  That is why I had never given the Waltz more than a passing glance.  Considering we might hear a Waltz played at most twice a night, I estimated one song in twenty was a Waltz.  Since Waltz music was so rare, most men had the same attitude as me... Why bother?  They figured if Twostep and Polka was good enough for 19 out of 20 songs, that was good enough for them.  That is why I admired Jim and Bill.  Behold the Power of the Waltz.  They had uncovered a giant void and exploited it to develop a harem of female admirers.

As I mentioned, no one knew that I was a fairly good Waltz dancer.  Twice a week I took morning Ballroom lessons from Glen.  At the time, I despised Ballroom music.  However I figured if something ever went wrong with Western dancing, I could extend my career by teaching Ballroom.  So far I had used Ballroom lessons strictly as an insurance policy.  However, the success of the Waltz Kings forced me to see Ballroom dancing in a new light.  Ever since I saw what Jim and Bill could do with the Waltz, I asked Glen about it.  He explained that Jim and Bill's patterns were not new, but rather well-known Ballroom Waltz patterns that travel.  However, since no self-respecting man wearing wranglers, hats and boots would dream of visiting a Ballroom studio, so far these advanced moves had remained hidden from the public.

Glen loved to pick on me for my dislike of Ballroom music.  Nevertheless, I swallowed my pride and asked Glen to help me learn some of Jim and Bill's patterns.  Here's another secret for you.  Glen insisted that we take turns leading and following.  By learning the lady's part, he claimed I would become a better teacher.  Don't tell anyone, but I got a kick out of dancing the lady's part.  The music is pretty and the various patterns flow together beautifully.  I was starting to see why the girls liked to Waltz so much.

I decided someday I would like to teach Waltz.  Only one problem.  At the moment I was limited to two classes per night.  If I ever acquired more studio space, I could add Ballroom dance classes to our lineup.  But for now that would have to wait.  As for the women I fibbed to, like Jann they were skeptical about my claim of ignorance.  However, since they didn't see me waltzing with anyone else, they eventually stopped asking.  So what did I do while I sat out each Waltz?  I watched the Waltz Kings strut their stuff.  Why was I so interested?  Envy?  No.  I watched because their success amused me.  The popularity of these two men confirmed my belief that Dancing was one of the supreme Babe Magnets of all time. 

There's an old joke.  What does a guy do if he doesn't have looks, money, or personality?  Take dance lessons.  ha ha ha, very funny.  The joke was meant as a put-down for weaklings.  Except that I knew better.  And so did Jim and Bill.  They were average-looking guys.  In a dance club, never in a million years would they be the men a pretty girl might notice.  Nor could they flash their wallet.  Although both men were very bright, neither of them had reached the stage in their career where they pulled in the big bucks.  Bill did something with physics research; Jim was a self-described computer geek.  Maybe they did have money, who knows, but they weren't showing it.  One look at their tattered blue jeans, unpolished boots, and drab shirts would fool anyone. 

Furthermore, based on a lack of observable muscle, neither guy would be mistaken for a macho man.  Jim and Bill were slender guys around 5' 9", 150 lbs, below-average physiques.  They both had the sense to keep their shirts on when we played coed volleyball.  One might ask if Jim or Bill was a smooth-talker.  Not that I was aware of.  Neither man was blessed with the glib phrases and swarthy looks typically associated with ladies men.  Nor did they have much experience with women.  My guess is they had been boringly studious their entire lives.  In fact, at the risk of insulting both guys, I would wager they both made it through high school without asking a girl to dance.  Hmm.  So did I.  Given that I saw myself in Jim, I was proud of him.  Don't tell Jann, but I was tickled to see Jim had more women than he knew what to do with. 

Just then a song called 'Last Cheater's Waltz' came on.  Instantly a group of women flocked to Jim's side to beg for a dance.  Me, me, me!  Marietta was chosen while the other 10 returned to the railing to nurse their disappointment.  I did not think for a moment this was any sort of accident.  Jim and Bill had no competition!  Give them credit, they had developed these complex Waltz patterns on their own and they were being royally rewarded for their effort.  Was it my imagination or had Jim's posture improved as he danced?  Jim used to slouch.  Amazing what confidence will do for a guy.