MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER NINETY SEVEN:

IMMORTALITY

Written by Rick Archer 

LIMBO MONTH TWENTY THREE
MAY 1981

LIMBO LIVES ON
 

No, we have not forgotten Victoria.  How can we ever forget Victoria?

At the conclusion of my bizarre Night to Remember involving Jane, I participated in a sensational night of sex with Victoria.  For a moment there, I did not know what to think.  I was so shocked, in the days following I actually felt a genuine spark towards my tormentor.  Was this was a breakthrough or an aberration?  It was an aberration.  No renewal of romance ever developed.  In fact, Victoria never said a word about it.  To be honest, I was hurt.  The warmest moment I ever shared with Victoria had not made much of an impression on her.  That was it.  That slammed the door shut.  Due to her disregard, I did not feel particularly fond towards Victoria during my post-Jane blues.

Limbo was really getting to me.  My List of the girls who got away was adding up.  Joanne, Patricia, Jennifer, Lynette, Taylor, Ammonia, and now Jane.  If I did not have Victoria hanging around my neck, I could easily have asked Jane to meet me for coffee and approached things in a conventional way.  As a vast array of 'what ifs' passed passed before my eyes, it always came back to Victoria's temperamental mood swings.  Victoria had a history of public temper tantrums, some at the studio, some at the dance clubs.  For the first time, I had something to lose: my studio.

I did not think in terms of Brightest Day/Darkest Day at this stage of my life.  What I did know was that so far in 1981 everything... and I mean EVERYTHING... kept breaking my way.  Except where women were concerned.  However even that problem had its advantages.  Limbo forced me to concentrate on my job with laser-like intensity.  I was well aware that my Magic Carpet Ride had reached its zenith specifically because I was the luckiest guy on earth. 

Dance Arts-Winchester Club-Leisure Learning-TGIS-Western Swing-Two hour dance class format.  Jann Fonteno, Big Bubba, Crazy Jane, Waltz Kings, Hotline.  Standing alone, any one of these positive developments could be dismissed as a lucky break and easily forgotten.  But at some point, I had to say Enough is Enough.  I had received so many lucky breaks in such a concentrated stretch of time, this could not be an accident.  I was convinced the studio was my mission in life, I was sure of it.  God had helped me create the finest dance studio imaginable.  Filled with gratitude, I felt it was my responsibility to be the best caretaker I was capable of.

I was good at running the studio.  And why was I so good?  Because Victoria had shown me how to do it back in the Disco Era.  I never lost sight of that.  I had been a social cripple when Victoria came along.  Victoria had taken me under her wing and turned me into a star.  I never lost sight of that either.  However, I did not need Victoria anymore.  I was emotionally healthy for the first time in my life, I was making smart decisions, I was staying out of trouble, and the studio was doing great.  Why not dump Victoria and have some fun?  Trust me, that crossed my mind.  But I hesitated.  I owed my career to Victoria.  That obligated me to keep her around.

I did not know why Victoria turned her back on me in May.  As I would learn later, there was a major development in her life that we will get to shortly.  All I knew was that Victoria's disdain rubbed me raw.  I would continue to be her friend, but I saw no reason to be faithful to Victoria anymore.  I did not know if Victoria was having sex with Vincent or any of the other men she dated, but what difference did it make?  This entire "I can date, but you can't" nonsense was so patently unfair, if the circumstance was right, I might leave my halo at the door and indulge myself.  Nonetheless, I behaved myself.  Why?  Because I knew that Victoria would find out.  And if she found out, she would go Vesuvius and the entire studio would hear about it.  As we approached the three year mark, I knew Victoria so well that I was not taking anymore risks.  There was a good chance a sexual foray would backfire so badly that my beautiful Carpet Ride would come crashing to earth.  No matter how much I was tempted to stray, I could not live with myself if the studio was hurt in any way. 

That explains why I voluntarily behaved myself even though my conscience was no longer an issue.  In a sense, Victoria held the studio hostage.  Any use of force on my part to extricate myself from this ridiculous Limbo situation risked upsetting the woman.  I suppose if the right woman came along, I would reconsider.  But Jane was not that woman, not with that ring on her finger and her outrageous personality.  Not hardly.  Jane was not the hide in the shadows type.  I regretted losing Jane, but it was the smart choice.  With a deep sigh, I returned to the eternal shackles of Limbo.

Other than our exceptional night together in late April, Victoria had barely given me the time of day since her divorce in February.  If there was one constant in my long history with Victoria, the grass was always greener on the other side.  Since I was yesterday's news, Victoria took me for granted.  Vincent was the only guy I knew about for sure, but there were hints of other men.  I suppose I could have kept better tabs on her, but why bother?  She had no right to date other men and keep me hanging like this.  Consequently my contempt had risen to unprecedented new heights. 

Since I was old hat, that gave me an idea.  Why not make it easier for Victoria to find a new hat?  I needed someone, Vincent for example, to take my place.  Maybe I could get rid of Victoria that way.  Thanks to the perfect storm of energies, business in 1981 was sensational.  Maybe even too sensational.  Lately over-crowding at Dance Arts had become a huge problem.  I saw a solution that was win-win.  To create more space at the studio as well as put more distance between Victoria and me, I negotiated with TGIS to send Victoria to teach at their church one evening a week starting in May.  Now Victoria was down to one night a week at the studio. 

Victoria never knew the true motive behind this move.  From what I gathered, she was very popular over at TGIS.  As well she should be.  I was so fed up with her that I tended to forget just how knock-out good looking she was.  I might add that her original Sunshine personality was starting to radiate again, especially over at TGIS where she was free of bad memories related to me.  Rumor had it that Victoria was surrounded by a flock of men dying to go out with her.  Perfect.  Hopefully Victoria would find a new boyfriend and set me free.  This helps explain why I saw very little of Victoria throughout May. 

As it turned out, there were several evenings when Victoria was evasive as to her whereabouts.  This explains why I had reason to believe Victoria participated in exploratory dates.  Or maybe it was Vincent she was seeing.  All I knew for sure is that Victoria wasn't paying much attention to me.  Was I jealous?  No.  Not really.  Once I realized that whatever romantic spark I had briefly felt was not shared by Victoria, I was so angry that I made sure to hermetically seal that door for eternity.  Now all I wanted was my freedom.  Whenever I went dancing, women were smiling at me from every direction.  As the pain of losing Jane receded into the background towards the end of May, it was harder than ever before to keep my hands to myself.  The temptation to act was so overwhelming, it was a race to see if I could get someone to take this fruit case off my hands before I lost my mind.

MAY 1981

JANN'S HOTLINE HEATS UP
 

Starting in May 1981 Jann hitchhiked a ride on my Magic Carpet Ride.  I did not mind a bit.  Due to Jann's telephone Hotline ingenuity and willingness to help any way she could with activities, Jann could hop on my Magic Carpet anytime she wanted.  That is how grateful I was for the kindness she spread throughout the studio.  In retrospect, I have always found it fascinating to note how Jann appeared at the perfect time.  At the exact moment when my spirit short-circuited due to disappointment over Jane and frustration with Victoria, Jann instinctively picked up the ball and ran with it. 

Jann occupied a lofty status.  She had made herself point-woman for the precious love lives of several hundred singles.  Throughout May countless people called Jann's answering machine on a regular basis.  Jann reported her phone rang constantly as dancers called to find out where this group or that group was heading every night of the week.  I rolled my eyes one night when Jann told me the story of how some lady had asked her to get a second Hotline because her phone line was always busy.  The nerve of some people.  As if Jann's good will and pocket book existed for this woman's convenience.  But I was used to this.  I cannot tell you how many people asked me to open a second studio near their home.

Jann no longer confined her activities to dancing.  On her Hotline, she suggested times for her friends and followers to view movies together, meet for afternoon brunch, a walk in the park, whatever suited her fancy.  Once she posted an activity, Jann would show up and enjoy the company of whomever appeared.  Anyone was welcome to join her, a gracious touch indeed.  There was no trace of snob in Jann whatsoever.  She had a huge heart. 

People trusted Jann and loved to call for gossip.  This was one place where Jann and I differed.  The less I knew, the better.  I preferred to mind my own business, but not Jann.  She thrived on gossip.  As master of the Hotline, Jann learned the intimate secrets of countless men and women.  There were times when she would spend her entire day on the phone keeping up with details of her friends' chaotic love lives. 

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK
 

At least three nights a week, Jann and I would close down a bar together.  After all the students left to rest up for work tomorrow, Jann and I would sit and chat for a while.  What did we talk about?  Studio gossip.  I am pleased to say that Jann trusted me.  My guess is that Jann held so many secrets, she did not dare talk behind someone's back.  But at the same time, Jann needed at least one person she could confide in.  Jann chose me.  Since I refused to participate in the gossip game, anything Jann told me went no further.  One night over a beer she told me about a womanizer named Robert.  Jann had a nickname for Robert.  She called him 'Eight Days a Week'.  Robert met girls in classes at the studio or at a club after class.  Once he got their phone number, Robert invited them on dates to dance clubs in remote corners of Houston where no one from the studio would see them together. 

What Robert did not know is that Jann's friends enjoyed telling her about their love life.  Practically in no time at all, Jann collected reports from three different women.  Alarmed, Jann went on the offensive.  Rather than wait for more reports, she passed the word to all her girlfriends to report any contact with Robert to her.  Jann was amazed by the response.  Robert would take Monday's girl to Desperado, Tuesday's girl to Fool's Gold, Saturday's girl to Gilley's, afternoon lunch on Sunday, a Sunday evening movie with someone else.  By keeping his women separate by night and location, 'Eight Days a Week' avoided having these various women catch on to his scheme.  Only one problem.  'Dear Jann' was paying attention.

This was the best story I had heard in ages.  "How do you know all this, Jann?  Did Robert tell you himself?"

"Oh, hell no!" Jann giggled.  "Robert steers clear of me.  I know four girls who claim to be dating him.  I know two other girls who have a girlfriend who have dated him.  This guy is something else.  There could be more.  So far, none of these girls have the slightest idea what Robert is up to.  Can you believe this moron is dating four different girls from the studio at the same time?  I haven't decided whether to bust him or not.  The problem is, if I busted him, then I wouldn't hear any more good stories!  I would rather let one of the girls catch him, then I will have an even better story."

I smiled.  Jann was such a pro at this gossip stuff, I was curious.  How was it possible for someone to gossip constantly yet simultaneously be discrete?  What exactly was Jann's story?  How was it possible for a girl who talked all the time to never reveal her own secrets?  With her popularity off the charts, we teased Jann that she was the 'It Girl'.  Indeed, after me, Jann was the best known person at the studio.  On second thought, Jann was better known.  Jann dominated the social landscape.

I was glad that Jann had hitched a ride on my studio's meteoric rise to the heavens.  Still licking my wounds from Jane, I was perfectly content to remain in the shadows and let Jann take the lead.  In fact, I was grateful.  Jann was doing the studio a real service.  Plus she was having fun.  If she got some dates out of it, more power to her. 

Thanks to Jann's Hotline, May was incredible.  The romantic possibilities of 300 singles revolved around the nightly destinations listed on Jann's answering machine.  Where would these people be without Jann?

Not long after Crazy Jane's night of infamy, Jann handed me a phone number.

"What is this for?" I asked.

"This is my personal number, the one I give only to my friends.  My Hotline phone rings off the hook at all hours, so I have to leave it unplugged or it will drive me crazy.  Can you believe people call at 3 am?  How am I supposed to sleep?   So I unplug my Hotline and keep a second unlisted phone line for personal calls.  Now that you've got my personal number, why don't you come up and see me sometime?" 

With that, Jann gave me a wink.  Ah, Mae West again.  I had an instant flashback to Crazy Jane and sighed deeply.  Jann had no idea what had transpired between me and Jane.  In fact, no one did.  I had given Jane my word I would keep her secret.  But it struck me as odd that Jann had used a Mae West quote.  That made me curious.  Had Jann been talking to Jane?  Was Jann making a pass at me?  Or was she just kidding around?  I decided not to ask.  Besides, I already knew the answer.  Although Jann had countless men in hot pursuit, for some reason she had her eye on me, the one guy who was not available.  Funny how that works.

As usual when sparks fly, this was not a one-way street.  Jann was on fire, so naturally I was drawn to her just like all the other guys.  And why wouldn't I be attracted?  I enjoyed Jann's warmth and respected her ingenuity.  During May, I saw her at least three nights a week either in dance class or at the club of the night.  Given our parallel nocturnal lifestyle, it was natural that we became good friends.  Why not friends with benefits?  As my pain over losing Jane receded, that thought crossed my mind with increased frequency.  If there was one woman on earth I could trust to keep her mouth shut, that would be Jann.  Yet here again, the studio came first.  If things went sour, I risked losing the studio's most valuable asset.  That thought gave me pause.

One of the interesting aspects about my studio's precipitous rise is that I had grown right along with it.  My phobic fear of rejection, the constant domination by women... those issues were pretty much in the past.  Victoria's domination did not count.  I willingly allowed her to push me around to protect the studio.  My ongoing charade regarding Victoria spoke volumes to my skill at masking my feelings.   Even my acne scars did not bother me any more.  With women smiling at me wherever I turned, I decided that if they didn't care, then I would learn to live with the scars as best I could. 

So what am I getting at?  It had taken me many years, but I had finally caught up to my age group in maturity.  The emotional problems were gone, the chip on my shoulder was a thing of the past.  I was no longer the shy boy, no longer the loner, no longer prone to depression, no longer dependent on Victoria to show me how to do it.  I was at full strength and ready to take on whatever challenges awaited me.  Along with my new-found maturity was the development of a deep sense of caution.  Crazy Jane was the perfect example.  Although I missed her, I was certain I had made the right decision.  Now Jann presented my next challenge.  What should I do?

One night in May I nearly fell off my stool when Jann claimed she spent her nights alone.  What did this mean?  Was she celibate?  Or was this her way of saying she sent her lovers home afterwards?  Who knows, maybe she preferred afternoon sex.  Since I was fighting my attraction to her, I decided it was better not to pry.  More important, I asked myself why did she tell me this? 

My conclusion was that Jann might be hinting that she was available.  I seriously doubted Jann was sex-starved like me.  To begin with, Jann had more men at her disposal than she could count.  Furthermore, unlike me, she had no one to answer to.  I doubted there was a man she was serious about.  I never saw her leave with anyone other than her Waltz buddies Bill and Jim.  On the nights when we were the last ones to leave, that left it to me to walk Jann to her car.  Those were awkward moments.  Fearing some impulse might overtake me, I would open her car door in a way that allowed the door to stay between us as a barrier.

I suppose Jann thought I was weird.  There she was standing alone in a dark parking lot and not once did I make a move.  Ultimately, I decided the success of the studio was more important than my sex drive.  As much as I hated my captivity, there was no denying that Limbo had played a huge role in my Magic Carpet Ride.  For that reason, I refused to jeopardize the incredible momentum in any way.  Jann was my friend.  Better to keep it that way.

MAY 1981

JIM GARRISON

When I said that Jann was a gentle person, she also tended to be rather passive.  I suppose she was raised to wait for the boy to make the first move.  I imagine that approach can get very frustrating.  I know Jann was angry at Jim Garrison for reducing her importance as his Waltz partner.  I suspected he did that because he was looking for someone to date.  As for me, I guessed that Jann was angry because I had chosen to ignore her signals.  Since Jann was not one to be direct, she expressed herself in different ways.  Fed up with my reluctance, one night at Texas she pointedly asked Bill Stumph to walk her out, thereby ditching both Jim and me in the process.  I looked at Jim, Jim looked at me.  We were both taken aback by Jann's abrupt exit.  There was something about it that felt like a snub. 

"What was that all about?" Jim asked.

"I think Jann is mad at me because I prefer we remain friends."

Jim nodded.  "I think she is mad at me for the same reason."

With that, we both let out a sigh. 

After taking a drink from my beer, I asked Jim a question.  "Why do you suppose the DJ plays so few Waltzes?  I figure if anyone would know, it would be you."

Jim frowned. "Funny you should ask.  The four of us were talking about
that same question the other day.  Debbie suggested I go ask the DJ.
Jann said she already knew the guy, so she came with me."

"That's interesting.  What did he say?"

"His name is Jeff.  Nice guy.  Jeff said few people other than us show any interest in Waltz music.  His theory is that the lack of interest is based on some sort of negative loop.  Since very few men know how to Waltz, he gets
very few requests.  And since he gets few requests, he sees no point in
playing Waltz music more often.  Without more Waltz music, few men see
any reason to learn how."

"I get it.  A negative cycle.  That makes sense.  I understand the reasoning, but there were several couples out there for the final Waltz of the night."

"Yeah, but that's only because the gang is here.  Ever since Bill and I have been working on our Waltz moves, interest has picked up with the studio's In Crowd.  Jeff says when our friends aren't here, the floor is empty when he plays a Waltz."

"I did not know that."

"Neither did I. The total lack of interest came as a real surprise.
Ever since then Jann makes a habit of bugging Jeff to play more Waltzes the moment they arrive. So far the best she has gotten out of him is three Waltzes per night. There was a Waltz before you got here, so that makes two so far.  If Jeff plays one more, that will tie the record."

"Wow, three Waltzes in one night.  You started an avalanche.  Maybe someday you will get four."

Jim laughed.  "I'll believe it when it happens."

To me, Jim's emergence as a ladies men underlined my point that Dancing is a premier skill for meeting women.  For Jim, the dance floor was his Stage, the place where women could see him do what he does best.  Curious to see if Jim agreed with me, I wanted to hear the 'Origin of the Western Waltz' story from Jim's viewpoint.  

"Listen, Jim, I would like to know how you became such a good Waltz dancer.  The moves I saw you doing tonight are a lot fancier than what I remember from previous times I have watched.  You are fast becoming a legend."

Jim blushed at the compliment, then modestly replied.  "The only reason I stand out is the lack of any competition."

"Nonsense. You look good out there. Besides, I saw a couple other men giving it a try. The women prefer you because you lead them through all sorts of unique combinations. The girls really enjoy dancing with you."

"I appreciate the kind words, but it has become a real problem.  I am swamped with women. Why don't you get out there and join me, maybe relieve some of the pressure?"

Seeing the overwhelmed look in Jim's eyes, he was serious.  Hey, pal, welcome to my world.  I laughed.  No one ever feels sorry for me, so why should I feel sorry for Jim?

"Maybe I will one of these days, but I know very little Waltz [total fib].  Besides, I prefer to use Waltz music as a chance to take a little siesta from the dance floor.  So do you believe the DJ's excuse for so few Waltz songs?"

Jim paused to think about my question.

"I think the problem is that Waltz carries a Ballroom stigma.  Twostep and Polka are seen as 'manly dances', but the Waltz is too gay and too Lawrence Welk.  Waltz is considered dancing for cream-puffs and sissies.  Several times the rednecks at the Winchester have been really ugly to Bill and me.  They think any guy who dances a pretty Waltz is either a pervert, a pansy or a Twinkle-toe Twinkie. I think that is the real reason Waltz is widely ignored."

I nodded.  "That makes sense.  But that may change.  Thanks to you and Bill, you may have started a Waltz Revolution.  Women have immense power of persuasion.  Jann claims she is the reason Jeff has gone from two Waltzes per night to three."

Jim smiled.  "That's probably true.  I know for a fact that she is the reason Jeff always plays 'Send Me Down to Tucson'.  That's my favorite Waltz."

"I like that song too.  I noticed you had your pick of ten women when tonight's last waltz came on.  Your Waltz project has really paid off for you.  Where did you learn all those moves?"

"I took a Ballroom dance course back in college, but the moves I learned were all danced in one spot.  Until I went to the Winchester, I did not know that the Waltz could also travel.  One night Bill showed me how to make a Ballroom pattern known as the Twinkle travel down the floor.  That was a real eye-opener.  I decided if one Ballroom Waltz move could be converted to traveling, why not try the same trick with other Ballroom patterns.  On my own, I figured out how to convert the Twinkle into a new pattern I call the Crossover.

The next thing I knew, women saw Jann and me out on the floor and began asking me if I would try those moves on them as well. Each girl agreed these new moves made dancing the Waltz much more interesting.  The next thing I knew, women were asking me to dance all the time.  I never bargained for this, but what can I say?  Anytime a Waltz comes on, I am besieged with offers.  This is most fun I have had in my life."

"Why do you suppose women like to Waltz so much?"

"Debbie likes it because the music is very pretty and the dance is the perfect speed.  She says the Waltz flows and glides.  It reminds her of ice skating.  Jann has a different explanation.  She told me every Waltz reminds her of Cinderella."

"Jann is not the first woman to tell me that.  From what I gather, Waltz was the dance when Prince Charming met Cinderella at the Ball.  For that reason, I bet countless girls grow up dreaming about meeting a Prince of their own when a Waltz is played."

Jim nodded.  "I agree with you.  Because Cinderella marries Prince Charming, I think any man who learns how to Waltz steps into the legendary shoes of Prince Charming.  When a Waltz is led properly, women are able to dream a little.  Beautiful music and the flowing movement of the dance has the power to transform a woman into Cinderella at the Ball.  On a level she might not even be conscious of, the man who is able to make her feel graceful becomes her Prince."

MAY 1981

CRAZY JANE'S PARTING GIFT

Jane was gone, but not forgotten.  Throughout May, the students could not stop talking about Jane's wild night at the Winchester Club.  Everyone seemed to have a Crazy Jane story of their very own.  To my relief, no one appeared to have spotted me talking to her in the corner.  As a result, the story of my huge crush would remain my secret. 

A major topic of conversation revolved around Jane's disappearance from the studio here in May.  Everyone said how much they missed her.  Naturally they all asked me where she had gone.  I would simply shrug and say I had no idea.  Meanwhile, word of Jane's exploits spread like wildfire.  With the phrase 'Slow Slow Quick Quick' appearing in every conversation, the students became obsessed with those four words.  In no time at all, a racier, more suggestive interpretation of 'Slow Slow Quick Quick' gave rise to a joke. 

A man sees a pretty girl.  "Hey, baby, you want to try some Slow Slow Quick Quick with me?"

To which the girl replies, "Is that offer for vertical or horizontal dancing?"

To which the man replies, "Your choice, honey, any way you want it."

Yes, the joke was sophomoric, but the double entendre never ceased to titillate and tantalize.  The students were endlessly amused by the dual call to date, mate or both.  In a very clever way, our secret code bonded us together.  Throughout May, 'Slow Slow Quick Quick' became part of our language.  We took great pride in keeping the naughty interpretation a studio secret. 

Jann was not one to hold a grudge.  After our misunderstanding, Jann and I resumed our friendship.  One night in May, Jann commented that she never met Jane, but wished she had. 

"What a shame," Jann said.  "I wanted to compliment her, but Jane was a little too busy spreading her unique slogan at Winchester to have time for girl talk.  I sat with Jim and Bill at a table.  We drank a lot of beer and watched the fun.  That woman is a riot!"

"Did Jim or Bill ask her to dance?"

"No, but they sure wanted to!  Seeing they couldn't get up the nerve, I had way too much fun daring them to ask her.  You should have seen them gulp.  I never knew a man could be so terrified!"

Realizing Jane had the same effect on me, I decided not to reply. 

"You know what, that Crazy Jane is one clever girl.  What an amazing imagination.  You know what, that gives me an idea."

"What's your idea?" I replied.

"I can't tell you yet, but it's a great idea.  Let me think about it.  Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough."

They say it takes one to know one.  Jann saw a way to harness Jane's bold message for her own purposes.  Jann was inspired to take Crazy Jane's message one step further.  Her answering machine used to be called 'Jann's Hotline'.  Now it got a new name, the 'Slow Slow Quick Quick Hotline'.  In addition, Jann updated her message.

"Hi, this Jann Fonteno.  You have just reached the notorious Slow Slow Quick Quick Hotline.  We are naughty but nice.  If you want to have a real good time tonight, listen carefully and I will tell you where to find the cutest guys and the sexiest girls!"

I was impressed.  What a great idea!  As Jann put it, "Jane's message lives on."

Jann's updated Hotline made a huge impact.  The new message made the studio sound like a hotbed of hedonism.  Everyone was fired up.  With the Hotline fanning the flames on a nightly basis, Jann's social program moved from Boiling Water to Towering Inferno.  Overnight the ever-growing singles crowd took on a racy new edge.  Thanks first to Jane and now to Jann, our tight-knit crowd of randy singles ignited on the spot.  The Nifty Fifty were now the Naughty Fifty. 

One thing led to another.  It was only a matter of time. 

All credit goes to Jim Garrison, the Waltz King.  Jann's phone had gotten so busy lately she decided to add a second line.  She had one phone for the Hotline and one for personal friends like Jim, her favorite dance partner.  One afternoon in late May, Jim called Jann to ask where she wanted to go dancing that night.

Jim was getting tired of saying 'Slow Slow Quick Quick'.  When Jann answered, Jim said, "Hey, where do you want to go for some 'SSQQ' tonight?" 

Jann gasped.  'SSQQ'?  How very clever!  Jann loved it!  

"Jim Garrison, you are utterly brilliant!  Good for you!"

As one can gather, this was how my studio finally got its name.  SSQQ.  Jann was so excited, she could not wait to tell me.  After hanging up, Jann called me at home to share what Jim had said. 

"Jim is so cool!  SSQQ!  Darn it, why didn't I think of that?!"

Full of goosebumps, I agreed that Jim's abbreviation was perfect.  It was so clever, Jann wasted no time putting it to good use.  On the spot Jann changed the name of her Hotline again. 

"Hi, this Jann Fonteno.  You have reached the infamous SSQQ Hotline.  If you know what SSQQ means, then you possess a burning confidential love secret.  But if you don't know, you better find out fast.  Come join us tonight and seek enlightenment!"

Everyone agreed that Jann's latest message was hysterical.  The SSQQ Hotline became the talk of the town.  Due to all the commotion, Jann reached a level of fame just as intense as her counterpart Jane.  Both phones rang day and night. 

Last October when I left Stevens of Hollywood for Dance Arts, I was asked if I had a name for my dance program.  At the time, I had drawn a complete blank.  I did not want to use the 'Dance Arts' name.  Too confusing.  So for the interim, I settled on 'Rick Archer's Dance Program'.  Not particularly catchy.  We really could use a better name. 

For one thing, I was no longer a one-man band.  The influx of new students during the Winchester Era forced me to add several new teachers to handle the growth spurt.  The studio had grown so big there were many students who did not know who I was.  Consequently my dance program needed a better way to identify itself.  The popularity of Jann's SSQQ Hotline removed any doubt about what my dance program's permanent identity should be.  Therefore, on the night of our May Winchester event, I proudly posted a sign to mark our seating area for newcomers.  Here is what the sign said:

"Winchester Night.  Graduation Ceremonies for Dance Arts students.  Sponsored by Rick Archer and the SSQQ Dance Club."

Thanks to a story so weird that it belongs in Ripley's Believe or Not, my dance studio owes its unique identity to a woman with incredible ingenuity and a very large chest.  Further kudos to Jann and Jim.  Thanks to some ingenuity on their part, Jane's notoriety was transformed into dance studio immortality.  This was Jane's legacy, her parting gift to me.  I will never forget her.