MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED EIGHT:

PARTING

Written by Rick Archer 

LIMBO MONTH THIRTY ONE
JANUARY 1982

THE REUNION TOUR
 

Despite sharing New Year's Eve and the Christmas Season together, things did not completely heal between Michael and Victoria at the start of 1982.  That was because Victoria was up to her old tricks.  The moment Michael moved home in January, Victoria reneged on her promise to stop teaching at the studio.  Considering this was the time to rebuild trust, a very unwise move.  Michael was understandably outraged.  This was like Lucy jerking the football away from Charlie Brown once again.  Arrrgh! 

So what was her excuse?  Victoria explained the divorce lawyer had cost a lot of money and she had bills to pay.  She reassured Michael that any romance between us was long dead.  Her ex-husband was deeply skeptical, but typical Michael, he let Victoria have her way.  As I have said repeatedly, Michael was a far better man than I could ever dream of being.

One night in late January Victoria came to the studio fuming.  She announced she had made the wrong decision by letting Michael move home.  Victoria would not tell me what the fight was about.  All she said was there had been a bitter argument.  Since she wouldn't explain, I assumed they were either fighting about Victoria's decision to continue teaching dance or her decision to remain near me. 

Whatever the cause of the argument, Victoria was fit to be tied.  First she said she was just one step from telling Michael to move out again.  Then she gave me the warmest hug in some time.  Uh oh.  Just in case I didn't get the message, she batted her goo-goo eyes for good measure.  Oh, good grief, let's not do this again.  Full of disgust, I quickly disengaged. 

"Victoria, listen to me.  Rough patches are inevitable considering all the animosity that has passed between the two of you.  Trust is a fragile thing, especially since you insist on being around me.  Michael has to be worried that you will pull the rug out from under him and return to me.  He has no way of knowing for certain we are just friends now.  Give the guy some credit.  I think Michael is being pretty brave to take your word for it on the status of our relationship.  In addition, surely Michael still harbors a great deal of bitterness.  Until those wounds heal, there will be times when he says some ugly things.  Hey, the guy is human, so cut him some slack.  I say calm down, teach your class, then go home and reassure Michael there is nothing for him to worry about."

That is exactly what Victoria did.  Miraculously, the Reunion Tour was back on track.  I did not tell Jann about this incident, but it was the perfect example of why I refused to sneak behind Victoria's back.  Her relationship with Michael was so fragile, I did not dare upset the apple cart.  If anything, this close call reaffirmed my decision to remain a trusted friend during Victoria's reconciliation period.

One week passed.  At the end of January, I had an accidental phone conversation with Michael.  I was trying to reach Victoria at home, but Michael picked up instead.  He and Victoria were in the middle of a heated argument, but he took time to briefly speak to me.  I tried to apologize.  I said I was very sorry for the trouble I had caused.  His reply was that I should leave Victoria now and I should have left her three years ago.  Then he hung up.  Or at least he thought he did.  Michael was so upset he failed to sever the connection when he slammed the phone down.  This gave me the opportunity to listen in.  As one might guess, the argument was very unpleasant. 

Based on what I overheard, I decided to write a letter to Michael.  For fear that Victoria would intercept it, I mailed it to his business.

Unfortunately, I never received a reply, so I have no idea if Michael actually received the letter or what his reaction was.  However I did notice their relationship improved shortly after.  Perhaps my four-page letter helped.  I certainly hope so. 

JANUARY 1982

THE CONFRONTATION
 

Sorry to say, Jann cooled off noticeably following our long talk in November.  One night in January, she cornered me at the studio and pointed to the couch.  Based on the exasperated look on her face, Jann's patience had expired. 

"I heard a rumor that Michael moved back home with Victoria.  Is that true?"

"Yes."

"And you decided not to bother telling me?"

"The situation is volatile.  The moment Michael moved home, Victoria broke an important promise.  She had promised to quit the studio, then changed her mind.  The whole thing could fall apart in an instant.  In the words of Yogi Berra, it ain't over till it's over."

Victoria's increasing absence at the studio was causing me enormous headaches.  Any woman with eyes could see I was available.  With no ring on my finger and no girlfriend at my side, I became a popular target for several young ladies who waged aggressive Ammonia-style flirtations.  However I refused to give in.  Here at crunch time, I did not dare start dating for fear of ruining Victoria's precarious detente.  But how was I supposed to explain that to Jann??

"Rick, you are my best friend.  We have been virtually inseparable since the days of Big Bubba and Crazy Jane last summer.  We spoke of dating back September, but you asked me to wait until Victoria made up her mind.  Then we spoke again in November and you said the same thing again.  Well, damn it, Michael has moved home.  That sounds like Victoria has made up her mind to me!"

"I know you are frustrated, Jann, but you don't know Victoria like I do.  Victoria could change her mind at the drop of a hat.  If I did something to derail the Peace Process between these tortured souls, I would never forgive myself.  Michael wants me to leave her and I would love to do just that.  But I have tried to leave her before and both times she went bonkers.  I refuse to rock the boat."

"Personally, I think you are suffering from a guilty conscience.  I've taken enough Psychology courses to understand the concept of self-deception.  Your entire explanation feels to me like an elaborate justification to alleviate guilt for something you regret."

I stared at Jann for a long time.  She wasn't going to let this go.  That left me with two choices.  I could continue to debate psychological theory or I could simply admit that I believed I was bound to Victoria by Fate.  The last time we had a long talk, I had deliberately side-stepped the mystical element.  What should I do tonight?

"You may be right, Jann.  Psychology claims we have blind spots.  Clearly I lost my mind when I had sex with Victoria and I have been so ashamed that I have found it hard to forgive myself.  However, I have given my mistake considerable thought.  So here is the honest truth.  In my heart I attribute the reason for my mistake to Fate.  The circumstances around the start of our Affair have led me to believe I had no choice in the matter.  And that scares me because it makes me doubt the extent of my Free Will."

"Are you really suggesting someone outside yourself is responsible for your stupidity?  No one is going to believe that crap."

I gulped.  When Jann put it like that, I saw her point.  No one is ever going to believe this.  But I decided to try anyway.

"Why do people keep doing things that make no sense?  We do something self-destructive, then sit there afterwards and wonder how we could have ever been so stupid.  I realize Freud has all sorts of explanations such as self-deception, but I contend there could be an unusual explanation no one ever considers.  What about Fate?  Maybe there will be times in every person's life where they are hypnotized into doing something stupid because this is their Karmic payback from an action taken in another lifetime."

Jann gasped.  She looked ready to explode.

"Oh my God, now you're onto Karma and Reincarnation.  You are going to piss off the entire world with this nonsense.  Besides, even if there is such a thing as Karma, how do you know that your Karma forbids you from seeking a girlfriend?"

Given the harshness of her rebuke, I said nothing.  Nor did Jann.  Obviously skeptical, she thought it over.  Finally she replied.  "You really believe this stuff, don't you?"

"From the bottom of my heart.  The utter senselessness of my behavior leads me to believe 'Fate' could play a much larger role in our lives than any of us realize."

"I don't like it!  It sounds to me like you believe God puts bad ideas in our brain and forces us to make mistakes.  I don't agree with that at all.  There are better explanations than Fate.  I have girlfriends who regret having sex with a guy afterwards because they knew it wasn't going anywhere, but at the time they were lonely and horny.  Maybe it wasn't a great reason, but they had a reason.  Surely you had a reason as well.  A beautiful naked woman in your bed is asking you to perform.  That sounds like a reason to me.  Why do you make this so complicated?"

"When you put it that way, of course my argument is absurd.  The Hand of God is invisible.  But in my heart, that is the way I feel.  I had nothing to gain and much to lose but for some reason, I could not think of a single save-facing reasons to postpone this train wreck on Doorstep Night.  Now you see why this incident disturbs me so much.  I was insane to have sex with Victoria!!  Do you hear me?  I was INSANE!  That is an ugly word, but what if people really can be mystically rendered 'out of their mind' or 'non compos mentis'?

"What does 'non compos mentis' mean?"

"That is Latin for 'momentarily stupid', 'temporary insanity'.  Apparently the Romans had their stupid moments too.  In my case, I knew this action would likely cost me the hand of my girlfriend.  And it did."

Jann was getting angry.  "So why do it, Rick?  If your girlfriend was so damn important, then why go through with it?"

"Because Victoria forced me to choose between my girlfriend and the studio.  She previously said she would destroy the studio if I defied her.  I chose to protect the studio and hoped my girlfriend would forgive me.  Sitting there in the living room, I spent 30 minutes trying to think of some way to get out of this jam, but not one good idea crossed my mind UNTIL THE NEXT DAY!  I was so upset by my poor judgment that I began to obsess over the possibility that human beings can be deliberately placed 'out of their mind' at various times in their life."

"The law claims there is something called 'not guilty on grounds of insanity'.  Is that what you are referring to?"

"Serious errors like crime and murder could very well be part of this discussion.  However 'Uncharacteristic Behavior' is closer to what I am discussing here.  I am a cautious person by nature.  I do not go to bed with a woman casually.  I can name a half-dozen situations when I had the discretion to hold back due potential problems."

Jann raised her hand to stop me.  "Does that include me?"

Uh oh.  Jann was very upset.

"Look, Jann, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but in a way, yes.  I stay by Victoria's side to give her courage while she takes a huge risk with Michael.  But there is always the chance Victoria could turn ugly if I spurned her.  You don't know this woman!  Victoria can be very vindictive.  I would be crushed if Victoria did something to take our past public and damage the spirit of the studio in any way.  Nor am I willing to provoke her into ruining her chances to patch things up with Michael.  That is why I have a 'look but don't touch' rule that will stay in effect until Victoria sets me free.  I am determined to do everything in my power to help Victoria find her way back to Michael, even if that means postponing my own freedom, but I also do this to ensure the studio remains protected from her wrath."

By her expression, I could see Jann did not like my answer.  Raising her voice, she let her frustration show.

"Good grief, you are completely nuts to take this woman so seriously.  You are basing your entire life on the possibility that some invisible being tricked you into making a mistake.  Has it ever occurred to you that you may be taking this Fate stuff much too far?  Are you really suggesting something besides Victoria's silver tongue or your sex drive made you act against your will?  If so, that's a tough nut to swallow.  Who exactly was the culprit?  Some leprechaun behind a tree casting a spell?  A Jamaican voodoo queen?  Did the Devil make you do it?  Personally, I think the culprit was a devil in the flesh named Victoria."

"By the way, Victoria also blames it on Fate."

Jann frowned mightily.  "Why am I not surprised?  The two of you definitely belong together.  But I don't agree with the way you think.  You use your mystical ideas as a flimsy excuse for making a terrible bad choice.  This whole 'somebody erased your mind' stuff makes you sound like a whining victim.  However, what irritates me the most is that I still don't see why you feel obligated to stick around.  Stand up to the woman!  Tell her it's time.  Tell her you want your freedom back."

I shook my head.  "I'm sorry, Jann, I won't take the risk.  Take your pick of reasons, Jann.  Loyalty, friendship, gratitude, atonement, a protective instinct towards the studio, a sense of obligation to see her put her life back together.  Every one of those motives factor into the equation, but the ultimate reason is my belief in Fate.  In my mind, Victoria was sent to help me create the studio, then for reasons no one can figure out she fell to pieces.  Now after a long period of darkness, the fog seems to be lifting.  Victoria realizes the time has come for her to return to the man she really loves.  As for me, I feel it is my Fate to help her find the way back.  I pray her journey will come full circle and she can reunite with Michael.  Until that happens, I am determined to remain her so-called boyfriend ready to do whatever is necessary to facilitate that reunion."

Jann shook her head, then looked away.  I did not need to be a mind-reader to see she had just written me off as a lost cause.  Then she turned back.  After a big sigh of frustration, she said, "You have to be the weirdest man I have ever met."

I gave her a wry smile.  "I agree with you.  But am I pleasantly weird or clinically weird?"

Jann replied, "I would rather not say.  It's getting late.  Let's go."

As we walked to her car, I realized it had been a bad decision to bring up the topic of mysticism. 

When we stopped at her car, Jann scoffed. 

"Your claim that you had an Affair against your will is far-fetched.  When you speak of Fate, you make it sound like your actions were under the control of some invisible being.  Who made you do it, God?  The Devil?  Did some elf put evil thoughts in your mind?  Where do you come up with these ideas?"

FEBRUARY 1982

FAREWELL, MY FRIEND
 

I knew Jann was very upset after our latest talk.  Shortly thereafter came an odd development.  At the start of February, Jann suggested I begin duplicating her SSQQ Hotline message on my home phone as a backup.  That way, she said, if her phone was busy, they could call my phone number instead.  I was irritated because this move struck me as unnecessary.  Lately the dependence on the SSQQ Hotline had plummeted.  Due to the rapid growth of the studio, there was no longer a Nifty Fifty.  That is because the number of people who wrapped their social lives around the studio had grown too big to keep together.  As a result the Nifty Fifty had sub-divided into smaller pockets of friends who had no desire to depend on Jann to make their nightly decision.  They wanted to decide for themselves what to do and where to go. 

A new invention known as the 'Calling Tree' further undermined the importance of Jann's Hotline.  Someone would come up with an idea and immediately call two friends.  These two would call two more and so on.  I was amused at first.  However, once I saw how effective it was, I was impressed.  These sub-groups had a mind of their own.  One group might meet for dinner, another for a movie, a third for a night of Western dancing and a fourth might go to At the Hop for a night of Swing dancing.  Each group of friends had its own leader and its own preferences.

In other words, the studio had grown so big that the days of one answering machine speaking for the destination of all were over.  Big events such as the monthly studio dance party were planned a month or two in advance.  To keep people informed, I printed a Social Calendar one month at a time, then placed copies where people could pick them up at the studio.  Between the SSQQ Hotline, the various Calling Trees, and the readily available Social Calendar, I asked Jann why we needed two Hotlines.  When she insisted I do it without a good explanation, I became suspicious.  Due to her evasiveness, something didn't feel right. 

One day in February, a mutual friend named Linda informed me Jann had made a snap decision to move to Los Angeles.  Her excuse was something about an indisposed relative who needed her.  Linda said Jann had left a message for me... "Take good care of the Hotline."  

That sounded ominous, so I questioned Linda further.  Linda swore this was some sort of emergency and that Jann promised she would be back soon.  However, given my hunch that Jann had given up on me, I was not convinced.  I had to wonder if her disappearance was due to hurt feelings.  If so, she made the right decision.  I probably should not have spoken so candidly about my belief system.  Besides, there was no way to predict when Victoria would set me free.  I think Jann concluded that waiting for me was hopeless. 

I wish she had said goodbye, but Jann was always very private.  I am sorry to say I never saw Jann again. As a result, I have no idea what became of my friend.  All I know is another good woman got away thanks to Victoria's eternal and infernal indecision. 

Jann was a sweetheart.  I would miss her terribly.  In the process, I learned another lesson the hard way.  From now on, I made a note to keep my Mystical thoughts to myself with future girlfriends.  So far I had shared my belief system with three women... Patricia, Jennifer and Jann.  All three had left soon after.  In Jann's case, I guess I had my answer.  She decided I was clinically weird.