MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED THIRTEEN:

HOUSE RULES

Written by Rick Archer 

1982

MAKING RULES AND STICKING TO THEM

 

Someone once said the secret to good writing is Re-writing.  I agree with that.  I can say the same thing about SSQQ.  I spent the first four years building the place.  It was a good start.  Now, thanks to a muscle-bound dancer named Scott, in 1982 I decided to "re-write" my dance program.  1982 became the year I polished what was working, eliminated what wasn't working, and found ways to innovate.  This led to the creation of the Circle, my decision to switch partners throughout class.  The Circle technique was proved to be a dramatic upgrade in the way I taught leads to men.  In addition I made the controversial decision to teach the Twostep starting on the 'Quick Quick' as opposed to the traditional 'Slow Slow'.  Did these changes pay off?  Absolutely!  But not necessarily in the short run.  As we all know, change is never easy.  A lot of feathers were ruffled along the way.  This tension forced me to learn tough lessons on yet another untested skill: the Fine Art of Diplomacy. 

During the first four years of my dance career, all I did was bounce from one crisis to another.  However here in 1982 those days were over.  Once V-Ann came on board, the studio was running so smoothly that I was given the luxury of relaxing a bit.  During this lull I began to look back at lessons learned during my first four years.  One of the most important lessons was to remember to thank my students for keeping me in business.  For a change, I did not have to learn this lesson hard way, but rather by observing the mistakes of others.

Starting in 1978, I paid a king's ransom each year to belong to a private Disco known as élan.  This was an elegant club, more beautiful than any club I would ever visit in my life.  However, the staff consisted of the absolute rudest people I ever encountered in the club business.  I became convinced that whenever there was a staff opening, they deliberately hired the snootiest, nastiest person who applied. 

A favorite trick was to turn unsuitable people away.  I had the right to bring guests with me to élan.  On six different occasions they turned away student friends I had invited to come dancing with me.  They claimed these people were 'not dressed properly'.  Nonsense.  The real reason was that their skin color did not match élan's preference for prosperous Aryans.  Blacks, Asians and Hispanics were regularly turned away.  I was convinced this snobbery was no accident.  Their business model was based on exclusivity, but in the end all they accomplished was putting themselves out of business. 

When I received the notice that élan was closing, I sniffed with contempt.  I pulled out a permanent marker and wrote a note:  "It pays to be nice to people.  Let élan's Fate be a lesson." 

I pinned that note to my wall and looked at it every morning when I entered my office as a reminder. 

The same thing happened to the Winchester Club.  My Black students knew better than go anywhere near this redneck haven.  On two occasions I had Asian students turned away.  In addition the management and customers alike subjected my students to intense and quite unnecessary hostility. 

Another example of how NOT to stay in business was provided by Lance Stevens, my former boss.  He was a gifted teacher who possessed the knowledge necessary to train someone to win a Ballroom dance contest.  But his attitude towards less talented students was horrible.  He had no patience for beginners and his constant sarcastic remarks made his students cringe. 

I am sarcastic too, but I use it to make people laugh.  Stevens used his sarcasm to sting.  If someone was not paying attention or made a stupid mistake, he would bite their head off.  Rather than encourage his dance students, he preferred to constantly put them down with snide comments.  Stevens' business was reduced to a shell of its former self due to his constant negativity.  Same thing for élan and Winchester.  Their demise was the direct result of rudeness and meanness. 

That said, it is not easy to remain constantly upbeat.  SSQQ suffered growing pains in 1982 and so did I.  Due to the changes I made that year, I received more criticism in 1982 than I had in the previous four years combined.  Throughout my career I did my best to remain true to my vow to show respect and gratitude.  However, in 1982 there were times when my patience grew thin.  Due to my inability to handle criticism well, I was far from perfect in customer relations.  That became the next frontier for me to master.

HOUSE RULES

 

Thanks to Scott, during the summer of 1982 I made a firm decision to teach all my classes using the Circle technique.  To make this work, I began to insist that everyone switch partners throughout the class.   'Switching partners' led to more complaints than any studio decision I ever made.  There were a lot of people who came with a partner and wanted to keep it that way. 

As the studio grew, so did the complaints and so did my headaches.  Not fun.  On the other hand, problems led to solutions.  Each improvement helped the studio grow.  However, I did not enjoy being put in the position of constantly enforcing the new status quo.  The irony was not lost on me.  I was always the rebel as a boy.  I despised rules that had no apparent wisdom behind them.  For example, throughout high school I engaged in a running battle with the Dean over the length of my hair.  He wanted it short, I wanted it long.  I fought the law and the law won.  I set a record in my Senior Year for trips to Saturday morning Detention Hall. 

Given my tempestuous past, I found it highly ironic that a non-conformist like me found himself in an authority position.  The larger my studio became, the tougher it was to keep all the wild ponies headed in the same direction.  V-Ann was not the type to say no, so that left it to me to be the bad guy.  On any given night there were three or four complaints regarding one or another of my rules.  Increasingly forced to start class late while I dealt with issues, thank goodness I had assistants to play music and interact with the class while I put out fires.

I found myself being worn down and losing my patience.  I called it 'death by a thousand paper cuts'.  Unskilled at the art of diplomacy, I began to get into arguments which led to heated (and time-consuming) discussions.  One night, an older gentleman named Rudy told me I was being too sensitive to criticism.  Immediately I caught myself bellowing, "Whaddya mean I'm too sensitive to criticism!?!"  His reply surprised me. 

"Rick, criticism is a compliment.  Criticism means that people care.  If a student makes a mistake and you do not correct it, then the student realizes you do not care enough to see them improve.  From what I gather, most of the complaints you have told me about are made by people who care about the studio and want to see it become even better than it is already.  My suggestion is you listen to what they have to say.  Don't argue.  Simply ask permission for time to think about it and leave it at that.  Then be sure to think about it because they are bound to come back and ask about your decision."

I nodded.  Rudy was correct.  I needed to quit arguing so much.  This led to a new approach.  One day I took the time to write the House Rules down on paper.  Under each rule, I briefly explained the thinking behind the rule so each student could evaluate it.  I posted the Rules on the walls and left plenty of brochures laying around. 

Common courtesy explains why we ask you to stay in your classroom until Break Time.
If you leave class early to walk through any room, you interrupt their class.

SSQQ is a Playground for ADULTS.
Kids have no place being here nor is there any free space to put them.

We understand that no one can know all of our Policies ahead of time.
To ease tension, we have created the Exception Policy.  Ask Rick Archer

We DO Allow Guests.  However we DO NOT Allow Guests who show up at the studio without any warning.  A phone call to Rick Archer  IN ADVANCE solves the problem.

A movie requires a ticket and a ticket taker. SSQQ is no different. 
If you lose your receipt, we will verify your class by computer on the premises.

This is the most obscure rule we have, but twice a year someone asks anyway.
Ask Rick Archer to explain the reasoning.

You have till the end of the first hour on the FIRST NIGHT of class to ask for your Refund. You must ask for it at the studio.

In Week Three, you have arrived at the movie when it is half-over.
It is not fair to the class to have the teacher waste valuable time catching you up.

Group Dance Classes teach you to lead or follow EVERYONE. Plus the Instructors rotate partners just like you do.  Don't want to switch?  Take Private Lessons

SSQQ is a School.  We are not a Zoo. 
It is unfair to our students to have strangers watching them during class. 

Registrars and Instructors are expected to enforce the Rules. They don't make the Rules and cannot change them.  Abusing them for doing their job is the stuff of bullies.

Anytime someone wanted to argue, I handed them the House Rules brochure.  Did this work?  I won't say my brochure solved the complaints entirely, but over time the students did adjust to the House Rules.  Mostly it was the newcomers who gave me trouble.  They always wanted to stand there and discuss it, but I did not have time to discuss it.  It was time to start class.  After more delays than I was willing to tolerate, I developed secondary brochures in addition to the House Rules complaint.  Let's say a married couple wanted to stay with their spouse during class.  In addition to the House Rules brochure, I would hand them a more detailed paper such as "The Reasons for Switching".  I also developed specific brochures regarding Refunds, No Children, No Watching, and so on.  I would say class was about to start and I did not have time to discuss it, but read this over and I would talk to them about it at Break or after class.

What was the point of the secondary brochures that dealt with a specific problem?  A major reason people ignore rules is that they do not understand the reasoning behind the rule.  By writing out my reasons for making the rule, I hoped my students would see my point.  Did my brochures work?  Kind of.  It is not that easy to stick to your guns in certain situations.  There were stories that tugged at my heart.  For example, someone's sweet grandmother from Seattle was in town and was just dying to watch her beloved granddaughter in action.  It would do very little harm to let granny watch.  Furthermore, it was a loyal student doing the asking.  Or someone's babysitter failed to show, so a mother brought her three children along and threw herself on my mercy.  

What should I do?  Bend the rules?  Stick to the rules?

THE RIGHTS OF THE INDIVIDUAL VERSUS
THE RIGHTS OF THE GROUP

 

What this boiled down to was a yearlong meditation on the rights of the individual versus the rights of the group. 

Some rules are more important than others.  My rules were not terribly important.  For my dance studio to operate properly, I constantly found myself in the awkward position of defending rules that in reality were not very important. 

If you speed, you could kill someone.  However, if you bring a friend along to watch your dance class, no one is likely to be hurt.

If you drink alcohol and drive, you could kill someone.  If you forgot to bring your receipt to dance class, so what? 

If you drive on the wrong side of the road, you could kill someone.  If you decide not to switch partners, who cares? 

If you forget to put your seat belt on, you are at the complete mercy of the idiot who sideswipes your car.  If you bring your child along with you to class, why should that matter?  People are used to disruptions.

If you run a red light, someone could get killed, maybe even you.  But if you leave your cell phone on (a 21st century problem) and it goes "ring ring ring" in the middle of class, big deal.  It might be an important call.

Since SSQQ House Rules were cosmically inconsequential, some of our students disobeyed them when it was convenient for them to do so.  The excuses were all the same.

What difference does it make?
Who cares?
What if I promise not to do this again?  Just this once.
I saw someone else do this exact thing last week.
One of the other teachers said it would be okay not to switch partners.
Can't you make an exception?

SSQQ House Rules by the very nature of our business were just begging to be broken by someone with a will to do so.  For one thing, the harmful consequences of breaking our rules was very small. For example, I openly agreed it would not hurt much to let someone's kid sit there and watch for one night, especially if he was quiet.  In addition, I was in the position of trying to please my customers.  I depended on my customers to help me stay in business.  So why should I insist on sticking to our guns??

Take for example the legend of the little Dutch boy who stuck his finger in the hole of the dike.  Without his timely intervention, the mighty North Sea would erode the hole, thereby risking the entire structure to collapse from erosion.  By sticking his finger at the source of the leak, he stopped the flow of sea water from tearing down the dike until help arrived to patch it.  Of course the first little 'drip, drip, drip' of water would not matter.  But if left unchecked, slowly the hole would widen until it becomes a difficult problem to stop, thereby magnifying the danger.

In our case, ignoring each small indiscretion risked tempting other students to do the same thing.  Each time I made an exception or looked the other way, I risked allowing the hole in the dike to widen.

  If there is a guest sitting there watching the class, don't you suppose some students will be uncomfortable?
  If there is a couple who refuses to switch, there are other students in the room who also would prefer not to switch.
  If there are children in the room, don't you suppose other parents would like to bring their kids along?
  If someone is smoking, need I say more? 
  If a person starts in the third week of class and doesn't have a clue what is going on, don't you suppose every student will resent how their presence slows the class down?

I could not agree more that if something happened occasionally, no big deal.  But one day I learned my lesson the hard way (I will share the story shortly).  I discovered that making an exception for one person caused other people to disregard the rule, thereby causing the 'disobedience' to become more wide-spread.  I was dealing with the well-known problem of "if I let one person do it, then I have to let everyone do it."  The moment students who have cooperated see how little respect others have for our Rules, first they get angry at me for not having the guts to stick to my guns, then they are more willing to challenge the Rules when it suits them.

"I believe each individual is naturally entitled to do as he pleases with himself and the fruit of his labor, so far as it in no way interferes with another man’s rights." – Abraham Lincoln

Let's face it: Having kids run around the studio, having cell phone conversations everywhere, having guests in every room, and having couples who don't switch partners would definitely "interfere with the rights of our other customers".   Whenever I made one student happy, I risked making other students unhappy.  Furthermore, even if I did give in to a student, I risked losing his respect too.  A student would know from this point on that our Rules were meaningless.  Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Ultimately I learned how to explain that the rights of the group are more important than the rights of the individual.  If a student decided to punish me for sticking to my guns by leaving the studio, then that was a risk I would have to take. 

RULES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN: EXCEPTIONS

 

We understand that no one can know all of our Policies ahead of time.
To ease tension, we have created the Exception Policy.  Ask Rick Archer

One night Connie shows up with her new boyfriend who wants to watch her class.  Of course I frown.  I know for a fact that a lot of my students dislike having some stranger observe them making their inevitable mistakes.  So I point this out.  Does it work?  No.   Well aware that I am uncomfortable saying no, Connie proceeds to work me. 

"But, Rick, my boyfriend really wants to sign up.  Jack told me if he could just see how your classes work, he would start next month.  Can't you make an exception for him??"

Meanwhile Jack is standing there watching the transaction go down.  The moment Connie offers her punch line, he nods accordingly.  So I back down and tolerate the indiscretion.  Does Jack show up next month for class?  Maybe yes, maybe no.  But when this kind of situation kept repeating, the day came when I grew tired of giving in.  So I went back and added another Rule. 

"Exceptions will only be made if asked for in advance."

Did this work?  Yes.  People did actually phone me and explain what they needed.  But my Rule was sabotaged by an unwritten Rule that many of my students firmly believed in.  "Rules are made to be broken."

It is the start of class.  The Registrar says I am needed at the front desk.  This is the night Sylvia shows up with her three children.  Her babysitter has failed to appear and Sylvia does not want to miss her class.  I roll my eyes.  What are we, a daycare center?  I proceed to explain the 'No Children' rule.  I tell Sylvia that the presence of children forces adults to behave like adults when deep down they prefer to behave like frisky teenagers. 

The beleaguered mother nods and says she understands, but, gosh, her kids are already here.  "Surely you are not going to make me leave and take my children home.  Please?  Pretty Please?  Surely you can make an exception this one time." 

Now it is time for me to explain to Sylvia that Exceptions must be asked for in advance.

"But, Rick, that doesn't do me any good.  How was I supposed to know the babysitter would stand me up?  I need the exception now, not later!"

How many times did I hear that?  But Sylvia has given me an idea.  She said, "Surely you can make an exception this one time..." 

Hmm.  Maybe I can make an exception this one time.  So now I make a new rule.  "One Exception may be granted to each student per year."  I pull out a piece of paper, then write  "Exceptions List" at the top.  Then I add Sylvia's name, the date and make her initial it.

Sylvia smiles and catches on.  Believe it or not, this worked.  Sylvia got what she wanted and she never brought her kids to class again.  But that was not the end of the story.  As Sylvia brought her children into the room, I explained to the class that I was making an Exception this one time only because it was a small emergency of sorts.  No one complained.  Many of them were parents themselves, so they understood.  More important, they liked the fact that I explained WHY I HAD BROKEN MY OWN RULE.

I was nowhere near a master at politics, but I was getting better.  The important thing is that my students could see I was trying hard to be fair.  Realizing these rules were made for the good of the studio, the vast majority cooperated voluntarily.