MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED FOURTEEN:

SWITCHING PARTNERS

Written by Rick Archer 

SUMMER OF 1982

SWITCHING PARTNERS

 

Due to the Growing Pains I have alluded to, 1982 was nowhere near as much fun as 1981.  In particular, the issue of Switching Partners was a source of endless headaches.  In the long run, my decision to use the Circle and the frequent rotation of partners would lead to remarkable developments.  However in the short term I had a difficult uphill climb ahead of me.  I introduced the use of the Circle in my group classes in the summer of 1982.  It did not take long to see the incredible potential of the Circle as a teaching tool.  There were three immediate benefits.  First, the introduction of a female assistant helped the men improve their leads.  Second, by dancing with many different partners, women learned to follow better.  Most important, in time the Circle would lead to a dramatic uptick in the group spirit of every class. 

Using my previous system, the single men picked the single women and the couples picked each other.  The two groups rarely intersected.  The Circle changed that.  Switching partners gave everyone an effortless way to interact.  Let's say a class had 40 people.  The Circle allowed 20 men to meet all 20 women and vice versa.  Each time a man switched to the next woman, the two of them exchanged a polite smile.  The next time they met perhaps they would chat.  Over time, the 20 men got to know the 20 women in a relaxed way, allowing friendships to develop gradually.  Sometimes people would click romantically.  More often, warm friendships would develop.  Thanks to the Circle, the lines between singles and couples began to blur.  My group classes had long been incubators for love and friendship, but the Circle worked three times as well.  The use of name tags and frequent rotations marked the start of many new friendships, some of which led to close ties.  When these students went dancing at a club together, they already knew each other so much better than in the old days.  Previously the couples would stick to each other all night long.  Not any more.  With the 'stranger' barrier removed, the Circle experience helped couples became much more comfortable dancing with their new friends. 

As for the singles, Dance classes were not just about the birds and the bees anymore.  Now the classes were just as much about forming friendships.  But the best part for the singles was the built-in excuse to get to know each other over a prolonged length of time.  No longer forced to overcome the natural mistrust of dealing with strangers in nightclubs and the fear of rejection, my students could take their sweet time getting to know each other.  This would lead to a very powerful development... marriages!

All because a body builder nearly killed me in dance class.  Very curious how that worked out.

One of the innovations Scott inspired was the use of female assistants in my Circle technique.  Scott had shown me that no matter how well I demonstrated and explained a pattern, there is a 'feel' to these moves that transcends the traditional way patterns are taught.  The only way to see if the man truly understood a pattern was to dance with him.  That is why a woman with prior dance experience was needed to double-check the leads and footwork of each male student. 

The addition of Assistants made an instant impact in the quality of my group classes.  Here is how it worked.  I still used 'boys on one side, girls on the other'.  The separation made it easy to observe while I demonstrated with my assistant.  Then I would say find a partner and form the Circle.  The men would start with their favorite partner and do the pattern.  On my command the men would move forward and switch to the next lady in the Circle.  Before class was over, the man would have danced with every woman in the class several times.  I knew I was on the right track when one woman quipped that her husband was 'much improved' when he finally rotated back to her.  By forcing her husband to learn to lead women he did not know, he began to pay better attention to the fine points.  The same lady added something very curious.  She was glad he learned his lessons with women who were more forgiving about his mistakes than she was.  This is how I began to suspect an odd phenomenon:  some women are much more patient with strangers than they are with their own spouse. 

This message was reinforced in a humorous way one night during dance class.  A man named Juan spoke up in class.  "Hey, Rick, now I know why you switch partners."

"Why is that?" I replied.

"Last week three different men stepped on my wife's foot.  Each time the men apologized, I overheard Sally say, 'Oh, it's okay, it didn't hurt much, don't worry about it'.  Then I stepped on Sally's foot.  Big mistake.  Oh my God, Sally complained all the way back to the Woodlands!

'Oh, my foot hurts so bad!  The pain won't stop.  My foot is throbbing.  I don't know if I'll be able to walk tomorrow.'"

What a thing to say!  Everyone laughed including me.  Sally was giving Juan the evil eye, but he didn't seem to mind.  Realizing Juan was onto something, I asked, "Can I assume you have a message to share?"

"Switching partners in dance class is the only way married people can take dance lessons.  It limits the damage a wife can make to a husband's pride."

When Sally sheepishly admitted the story was true, the students could not stop grinning.  I saw things at a deeper level.  When a man only dances with one woman, she memorizes what he will do next.  This allows the man to get away with lousy, haphazard leads.  By switching partners, each man is forced to learn to lead better.  Why?  Because he is dancing with women who are unable to read his mind. 

Dancing in a Circle dramatically improved the quality of the group dance experience at SSQQ.  Why?  Because it made it easy for me to dance with every woman and make suggestions.  Even more important, my lady assistant was able to monitor the quality of the men's leads.  Either she would make a direct suggestion to the man or she would report areas of confusion to me.  The use of assistants allowed me to identify leads that needed further explanation. 

As I fine-tuned my system, I proved that group dance lessons can be almost as effective as private lessons.  And far less expensive as well.  Thanks to the invention of the Circle, we were no longer the McDonalds of dance studios.  In fact, let me take this line of thought one step further.  The old adage is that Practice makes Perfect.  I will concede that private lessons with a good instructor can teach lead and follow technique more effectively (and faster) than group lessons.  However, private lessons have their drawbacks.  For example, a single woman learns to follow a man who possesses exceptional leads.  What happens when she dances with normal men whose leads are inferior?  She gets frustrated.  In group class a woman learns to follow the entire spectrum of leads from abysmal to superior.

When the private lesson is over, who is the single woman going to dance with?  The absence of a committed partner makes many women wary of going to a club on her own.  Not so with group lessons at my studio.  Now the same woman has an army of men asking her to dance.  Same for a man.  Who is he going to practice with?  And even if his leads are good, there is no guarantee the women he asks to dance are anywhere near his level.  What happens when a woman with limited training fails to recognize his more complicated patterns?  

I can debate the trade-offs between private and group lessons all night long, but there was one huge advantage my Group classes had over Private lessons... Friendship. 

I marveled at how people who were already excellent dancers continued to take more lessons for months and months, even years, after they achieved their original goal.  They continued to take lessons specifically as a way to see their friends.

And what happened next?  One of two things.  All that practice made them just as good at dancing as anyone who took private lessons and usually BETTER.  Or they met the love of their life and moved on to the next stage.

All I can say is thank goodness Scott opened my eyes.  What a great idea!  I called it my 'Isaac Newton moment'.  Once the invention of the Circle gave me a face-saving way to rotate partners, it led to a profound development of group spirit.  Good will had always been present, but the Circle created a heightened sense of 'Community'.

I considered this discovery to be a remarkable stroke of good fortune.   Would I have thought of the Circle idea on my own?  Maybe, maybe not.  As I keep saying, I may not be smart, but I am definitely lucky.   

A BUMP IN THE ROAD

 

Unfortunately, these improvements did not take place overnight.  Of course there was protest.  Change always brings problems.  The singles were all for it, but the couples were skeptical.  In particular, a surprising number of husbands and wives as well as committed but unmarried partners insisted on staying together.  They asked why switching was necessary.  I explained my reasons, but a good 20% of my current students chose to disagree.  Many of these protesters were students I had known for some time, people I considered friends.  In fact, some of them told me how hurt they felt that they were suddenly no longer permitted to dance exclusively with each other.  The naysayers were in the minority, but they had a strong voice. 

Naturally I felt compelled to appease them.  So for the first month I broke the class into two groups:  The Circle on one side of the room and a smaller group of married couples who danced strictly with each other.  Very soon a funny thing happened.  During Break two wives came over to complain the men in the Circle appeared to be learning faster than their husbands.  Why was that?  I explained that Mary Collins, my new assistant, was doing a great job of showing the men what they were doing wrong.

Both women nodded.  That's what they thought too.  One of the women had a suggestion.  "For the second hour of class, why not let Mary work with our husbands instead?"

I was skeptical, but decided to give it a try.  And yes, Miracle Mary worked her magic on the husbands as well.  But now everyone in the Circle complained that they wanted Mary back.  So, taking a page from Solomon, I said we could either saw Mary in half or next week we would share her again, Circle first hour, Husbands second hour.  No one liked this arrangement, so I told everyone to bring a saw and cut her in half.  Then we could have a Bloody Mary.  I thought I was hysterical, but no one laughed.  Reluctantly everyone agreed to share her instead.

The following week was more of the same.  No one was happy.  Sick of all the complaining, I put my foot down.  We would finish the month sharing Mary, but next month we would stick to the Circle.   From now on, everyone was expected to switch partners or don't take the class.  If the married couples chose not to return, I would understand.  And what was the result?  In the following month, half the married couples continued and danced in the Circle.  The other half quit.  

The disruptions caused by all the bickering strengthened my resolve to stick to my guns.  Fortunately at the point the returning students had seen the benefits of the Circle, so they were more comfortable with the change.  However I was not out of the woods.  Now it was the Newcomers who objected.  I told anyone who refused to switch they were welcome to leave and get their money back.  It was a huge gamble, but it paid off.  Eight times out of ten the disgruntled Newcomers decided to stay.  It was the old "try it, you'll like it" technique.  By the end of class they were usually on board with the idea.   I was helped by the fact that the majority of the class not only switched willingly, but enjoyed the process.  Once peer pressure kicked in, I thought I was home free.  Wrong.

It seemed like every month there was a new headache.  Something always seemed to come up that I had never encountered before.  One night Captain Hook showed up.  True story.  This man had lost his left hand in an industrial accident.  Now he had a huge metal hook in its place.  He and his wife asked to be allowed to dance together in a Swing class and not switch.  Curious, I asked him to dance to see what it was like.  I danced the girl's part.  When my right hand got stuck in the hook, I realized a woman's hand could get badly twisted by accident.  It was out of the question to expect this gentleman to join the Circle.  It was not safe! 

But there wasn't any reason to send him home.  I had an idea.  The man had a perfectly good right hand.  Why not trade roles in Swing Dance?  The husband and wife were fairly close in height, so I suggested he learn to 'follow' and let his wife take the lead.  The man was confused, so I said, "You learn the girl's part and your wife will lead you."  Why not?  They smiled and thought it was worth a try.  Adapting as best they could to his handicap, his wife did the boy's part using her left hand and he did the girl's part using his good right hand.  Worked like a charm!!  I smiled to myself.  I had made the right decision to let them dance in the corner by themselves.  Plus my suggestion to switch roles had paid off.  However, my smile was short-lived.  I had made a mistake.  No one knew about the hook and I did not explain this unusual circumstance to the class.  In fact, as the man danced in the corner with his wife, most people didn't even realize he was handicapped.  Watching this couple dance to the side by themselves, ten minutes into the class I had three couples who refused to switch.  They said if that couple didn't have to switch, then why should they??  

Damned if you do, Damned if you don't.  At this point I had no choice but to explain the 'Hook' problem to the class.  You have heard the term 'throw them under the bus'.  I embarrassed the poor man, his wife and myself thoroughly in the process.  I said if any couple had a reason as compelling as the 'Hook' to justify not switching, I would listen to it.  The renegade couples backed down, but now they felt embarrassed for picking on this helpless couple.  They had no idea the man was crippled.  Feeling guilty, one couple left immediately and the other two frowned for the rest of the class.  They switched, but they were unhappy about it.  Their mood affected everyone else.  Attendance the following week was half of what it was on opening night.

That is how I learned that even if I win the argument, I lose the war.  The smart thing is to draw the line ahead of time.  In retrospect what I should have done was explain the exception to the class ahead of time so everyone was on the same page.  In my defense I did not anticipate the reaction of the three couples in the first place.  There really is something to be said for experience.  Over time I did learn a thing or two.  But this was Year Five and I still had a lot to learn.

I wished to be flexible, but where do I draw the line?  Another time I let two partially blind men take a class.  These men were worthless in the Circle.  They could not even see me as I demonstrated.  I was forced to assign my assistant to dance with them nearly full-time because they could not see well enough to follow the instructor.  Not only did they deprive the class of my invaluable assistant, the two men ultimately did not learn a thing.  Private lessons might have worked, but not group lessons.  Another time a schizophrenic man signed up for a class.  I cannot begin to tell you how creeped out the women were.  Fortunately he did not return the second week. 

The social work side of me feels for each and every person.  However, experience has taught me that GROUP CLASSES do not lend themselves to EXCEPTIONS.  It seemed like every time I made exceptions, I got burned.  But you know me, I wanted everyone to be happy.  So that led to one of the worst mistakes I ever made.

SEPTEMBER 1982

THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK

 

One would think my life got easier when Victoria set me free in July.  Not so.  The studio had grown so much that now I was held captive by the studio.  I suppose it was my own fault.  By introducing so many changes, I had no choice but to put out fires at an alarming rate.

Earlier I explained my transformation into 'Leader of the Pack'.  In 1982, I was forced to wear another hat as well.  For the first four years I had been buddy-buddy with my students.  However, starting in 1982 my role changed to School Principal.  With so many people, I had to make rules or expect chaos.  And so I became the one who had to enforce the rules.  This was a major headache because 99% of the fires took place at the same time that I was trying to start my 7 pm class.  I was very uncomfortable in this role.  As I said earlier, I was a born Rule-Breaker who was now compelled to become a Rule-Enforcer.  Not just that, I was not wired properly to say 'No' on a steady basis.  My first instinct as a teacher was to please people whenever possible.  Another problem was my growing impatience from dealing with the same partner switch problem again and again. 

Invariably the people who wanted an Exception never seemed to take 'no' for an answer.  They always seemed to want to debate the Rule at length.  That requires time.  Here I am trying to get to my class.  Can't they see I don't have time to explain it to them!?!   This was all so very ironic.  After all, I spent my entire high school career debating the Rules.  I had so much fun arguing, it was actually a game to me.  Now, however, this ongoing headache seemed like Bad Karma coming back to haunt me. 

At the start, a significant number of my students strongly preferred to only dance with each other.  However, over the summer, the malcontents began to drift away.  Those who stayed no longer gave me any trouble.  However, the Newcomers were a different breed.  Several people strongly demanded to be allowed to dance with each other and no one else. 

This angered me because I had a large and quite prominent sign right behind the Registration Desk that said, "SSQQ expects all students to switch partners on a regular basis."  So why did they challenge my rule?  Because it is the nature of some people to demand they get their way.  As I said earlier, at first I looked for ways to compromise.  However, after a summer full of making Exceptions that backfired, I made up my mind. 

Follow the rule or leave.  No exceptions. 

Wouldn't you know it, the moment I made up my mind, I made another exception.  This incident took place in September and, of course, it backfired as well.  Daniel and Christina were getting married in November.  They wanted to learn how to Twostep in preparation for their First Dance at the wedding.  I should add that Dan and Chris were a darling couple. 

Daniel said, "If you say no, we will follow your rule.  But perhaps you can see why practicing together as much as possible in class is important to us."

Now it was Christina's turn.  On cue, the moment Daniel finished, Christina said, "I agree with Dan.  Rick, it would mean so much to us if you could just let us practice together for our wedding."

I was reluctant to disappoint them, but I had just made a decision never to make exceptions on this issue again.  However, I was dealing with a charmer of the highest magnitude.  Just when I was about to say 'no', Christina quickly interjected.

"Oh, Rick, please let us do this.  We will go over into the corner and not cause a bit of trouble.  Please??"

Oh no, not the word 'Please'!  No fair.  I am a real sucker for the world 'Please'.  Not only that, Dan and Chris had thrown themselves on my mercy.  I could resist defiant people, but not a precious young woman who was practically in tears and a decent young man who was about as polite as humanly possible.  How am I supposed to say no to that?  So I gave in, but I regretted my decision immediately.  Why?  I had a hunch this was going to backfire badly.  And so it did. 

Despite my misgivings, I walked Dan and Chris to class.  Before entering the room, I told them to instruct anyone from the Circle who tried to dance with them to skip them and return to the Circle.   Then I opened the door and pointed to the spot where I wanted them. 

As usual, whenever I had to fight the Exception battle, I had to start class ten minutes late.  Never a good thing to keep 38 people waiting.  Fortunately the first week went pretty well.  I was teaching a large Beginning Swing-Jitterbug class.  That first week, 38 people stayed in the Circle and switched partners while the wedding couple stayed isolated over in the corner. 

In the second week, another couple asked for permission to switch, making sure to point to Chris and Dan.  What was I supposed to say?  Now two couples were out of the Circle.  It got worse.  After the Break which separated Hour One from Hour Two, two more couples joined them without bothering to ask.  Now there were four couples not switching.  I could see people in both groups whispering to each other about what was going on.

When we met for the Third Week lesson, four more couples left the Circle.  I was aghast to see the class separate into two groups.  24 students were unattached singles who rotated in the Circle.  They were one side of the room.  Meanwhile 8 couples were in the other corner.  As class proceeded, the two groups stared at each other with hostility for causing this mess.  They blamed me too.  Caught off guard, I did not have a clue how to deal with such a divisive issue.  Not only did I feel helpless to correct the problem, the morale was pathetic. 

The absolute nadir occurred when several ladies of the non-switching couples insisted at Break that I give special attention to their partners.  It seems their husbands' leads and footwork were not improving like the 'single men' were.  In their words, without adequate supervision on my part, their husbands were simply not getting it.  I came very close to losing my temper.  What did they expect?  If these couples had stayed in the Circle, we wouldn't have this problem.   Now they expected me to give them the lion's share of my attention.  In addition I was mad at how rude these women were.  They did not ask politely.  But my hands were tied.  Seeing my class on the verge of falling to pieces, I reluctantly sent Gabriela over to concentrate on the couples while I chose to dance with the single men and women for the rest of the night.  

With Gabriella gone, we had three more men than women.  Without thinking, I announced I would be dancing the girl's part for the rest of class.  Bad move.  Now the Singles were upset, especially the men.  They were not happy about dancing with me.  They much preferred the sexy assistant.  Why should those jerks who deserted the Circle get Gabriella? 

As one man after another griped, some of the men even refused to dance with me.  That is when I realized my mistake.  Up till now, I only danced the girl's part in classes where the students were used to me.  However this was a Beginning class.  These people were all new to the studio and it was too weird to suddenly see me switch to the girl's team without an adequate explanation.  At this point everyone in the room was hostile.  When I saw everyone leave with a huge frown on their face, I had a bad feeling about next week.

Sure enough, the fourth and final class was much worse, maybe even the worst class of all time.  Attendance dwindled from 40 in Week One to 12 in Week Four.  Boy, was I mad!  Making this exception had cost me 28 students.  Speaking of Dan and Chris, I could tell by their expression they knew my favor to them had turned into the road to ruin.  Embarrassed by the trouble they had caused, they left without a word after Break.  So did another couple. 

The mood in the final hour of Week Four was not fun.  However, with so few people left I was able to talk everyone into using the Circle again.  Then one couple changed their mind and insisted on staying apart again.  Just shoot me.  Quite frankly, no one finished that course in a very good frame of mind.  

The final humiliation came one week later.  It was the start of the new month.  Only 7 people from the original 40 showed up for the Intermediate level.  They were all single.  Not one couple had continued on.  Normally at least half the students will go on to the next level, so this small class was disappointing to say the least. 

I was furious.  My decision to accommodate people who did not wish to switch had not only ruined my Beginner class, it had crippled my Intermediate class as well.  As they say, no good deed goes unpunished.  This was a hard lesson to learn, but I realized I had no choice but to put my foot down.  In fact, the outcome of this incident upset me so much that it became the straw that broke the camel's back.  Feeling ice cold steel flowing into my veins, from now on rotating partners was the law of the land.  No more Mr. Nice Guy.  I would rather refund tuition than have people refuse to switch. 

Like I said, Growing Pains.  Most of the time running the studio gave me tremendous satisfaction, but some of the time my blood would boil.  Welcome to the Real World.  So what happened the next time this problem arose?  As usual, I was summoned to the Registration Desk.  A couple new to the studio did not want to switch.  Gee, what a surprise.  I told them they would have to switch, then added they could get their money back if they were not satisfied.  Just be sure to ask before the start of the Second Hour.

"Since you are already here, you might as well give a try.  If you don't like it, leave at Break and get a refund."

The husband and wife looked at each other.  Unsure, the wife turned to me and said, "Maybe we could just come in and watch."

I was in a hurry to get to class, so I said, "I'm sorry, but no watching!.  You will need to participate."

The wife replied, "Why can't we watch?  And why is switching so important?"

Given my exhaustion at dealing with this problem, I replied, "SSQQ is like a nudist colony.  You're either naked in the hot tub like everyone else or you have to leave.  In or out, can't have it both ways."

Mind you, I had never been naked in a hot tub and probably neither had they, but to my surprise they both laughed.  That broke the ice, so they decided to give it a try.  Encouraged, I began to use this phrase on a regular basis.  My flippant response did not always work, but I will say it worked more often than not.  The important thing is that the goofy phrase helped me bypass time-consuming debates.

There are those who say "The Customer is always right!"  Unfortunately, I do not agree.  If the customer refuses to respect the rules, why argue?  I learned this lesson the hard way.

APPRENTICESHIP

 

At the risk of repeating myself, nothing incensed me more than rumors of dance professionals who called SSQQ "The McDonalds of dance studios."  Since they were gifted dancers who taught gifted students, they assumed that made their studio superior to ours.  Why doesn't SSQQ hold in-house competitions?  Why don't their students enter dance contests at the clubs?  Why don't they train their students to give exhibitions?  Why don't they use contracts?  Why don't they sell more private lessons?  Why are so many of their students mediocre dancers? 

The criticism that our dancers were sloppy and poorly-trained irritated me no end.  It was true that I drilled my new students on the importance of practicing as soon as possible.  What do you expect from Beginners?  People have to start somewhere.  As always, people see what they want to see.  The critics would see our Beginners stumble and ignore the really good dancers on the floor.  In other words, if someone's dancing was atrocious, they must be from SSQQ, but if they were good, they must have learned someplace else.  In reality, SSQQ had a legion of students who had been dancing non-stop for one year, two years, and a few remaining ex-Disco dancers for three years.  Practice makes Perfect.  These people were good!  They would give any private lesson devotee a run for their money.  Nevertheless, the day Scott came along to expose serious flaws in my teaching curriculum, I was filled with chagrin.  There was no way I could have guessed that being tortured by Scott was actually the happiest of happy accidents.  Thanks to him, I adopted changes that ensured anyone taking Group Lessons at SSQQ would get a sound foundation in the fundamentals of social dance.

No one believed Group Lessons could teach the intricate skills necessary to become an elite dancer.  I agreed, but I also disagreed.  As of 1982, the studio was still a work in progress.  However the day would come when our Group Lessons were so perfectly organized that they matched Private Lessons for effectiveness.  The Circle was the first step, switching partners was the second step, Friendship was the third step, but what about the mysterious fourth step?  I never imagined just how important the fourth step would become.  Can you guess what it was?  I have dropped enough clues, so it should not be difficult.  Answer soon to come.

Nothing got under my skin faster than having my studio disrespected for conducting cheap, fast-food group lessons.  Oh great, my program is considered the Burger King of dance studios.  Take a quick lesson, hit the dance club afterwards and step on some poor girl's feet.  In defense of SSQQ, I don't think our critics understood what I was trying to do.  The studio primarily taught people who wanted to learn to dance for the fun of it.  Let's say you want to learn enough to dance at a wedding reception, a high school reunion or a cruise trip.  Or maybe you want to learn enough to go to a club and ask someone to dance.  SSQQ was perfect for that.  To my knowledge, no other dance studio in Houston had ever paid so much attention to inexpensive, non-contract Group Lessons before.  If someone wished to Dance with the Stars, then Private Lessons were the way to go.  However the majority of people do not harbor aspirations to perfection.  Their goal was to become a reasonably good dancer at a reasonably good price in a relatively short time.  In that case, SSQQ Group Lessons would work just fine.  That modest goal worked for the first four years of my dance career.  But now I wanted to do better.

There is an ancient adage:  "In partner dancing, whenever something goes wrong, it is always the man's fault."  Unfortunately, that is true most of the time.  And since many men are overly sensitive about having their mistakes pointed out, they claim that women complain too much.  Now, however, thanks to Scott the Barbarian, I realized the truth was just the opposite.  It was like an iceberg.  Yes, some women complained, but most women put up with far more pain and unnecessary roughness than men realized.

In the men's defense, their mistakes were not deliberate.  They were mortified every time I pointed out they were hurting the women they were trying to please.  The solution was obvious.  I needed to find a way to teach men how to lead better.  Since men did not like dancing with me, I decided to add female assistants to the Circle Formula in my Beginner classes.   These amazing women made such an impact, they became the missing ingredient.  As the men rotated through the Circle, eventually they would meet the Assistant.  These gracious, socially gifted young ladies would offer suggestions and encouragement.  Indeed, their appearance was met with universal applause.   The women liked it because overnight the men became more gentle.  The men liked it because their partners showered them with praise over the improvement.

Judy Price liked my idea too.  She asked, "Rick, can I add a male assistant?  That way he can tell me what the women are doing wrong." 

That made sense, so I said of course.  I had noticed that men seemed to catch on faster from Judy than they did from me.  I wondered if that was due to Judy's ability to dance with the men in class and offer instant feedback.  That made all the sense in the world.  On the spot I decided to make another change.  I added a lady volunteer to assist me in EVERY CLASS I taught, not just the Beginner classes.  Then I told Bob Job to do the same.  From here on out, every assistant would report back to the instructor what the men were doing wrong.  In addition, she would correct the men if they were willing to listen.  (Note to Reader: men don't always listen to women.  No doubt that does not come as a surprise.)  The men who respected the advice found they made faster progress.  Eventually even the hard heads started to listen. 

The caliber of my instruction took a Quantum Leap forward thanks to addition of women assistants.  Over time our assistants proved so effective this led to a profound change I referred to as the 'Apprentice System'.  Victoria was gone now, so we needed a replacement.  As the studio grew, Bob and Judy could not handle teaching seven nights a week.  Nor could I.  Whenever an opening for a teacher occurred, I would promote the most talented assistant to teacher rank.  In other words, volunteering to help with a class amounted to on-the-job training.  By listening to how Bob, Judy and I explained things, the Assistants were learning how to teach a dance class in addition to mastering the art of tutoring students. 

My lady assistants also gave me a face-saving way to insist on switching partners.  Most people do not mind sharing partners, but if even one couple refuses to switch, then the selfish side of human nature is tempted to appear.  "Why should I switch if they don't?"  From now on I wasn't going to give anyone a choice.  The Dan and Chris incident convinced me for our Group Classes to work, switching had to be mandatory.  So whenever there was hesitation, I would point to Mary or Gabriella and make a speech.

"In order for Gabriella to dance with all the men, we need to rotate constantly.  That way I can dance with all the women too."

This speech never failed to work, especially since the men could not wait to get their hands on this Latin beauty.  Fortunately, over time, my students realized these talented lady assistants made a big difference.  By correcting leads as the men went along, the assistants made friends in the process.  By practicing with the assistant plus the 10-15 female students he met in the Circle, a man's leads improved at a much faster rate than when he only danced with one woman.  By the time he finally made it back to his wife or girlfriend in the Circle, invariably she would marvel at the improvement.  Meanwhile the ladies were learning how decipher the signals from 15-20 different men.  In the process, her following skills improved.  The dramatic increase in progress convinced my students that switching partners was a good idea after all.

I was very careful in my choice of assistants.  I could not expect a woman to volunteer her time five nights a week, so I asked five women to volunteer one night a week.  In no time at all, I had a stable of volunteers.  There were so many good lady dancers at the studio, I had a wide range of choices.  So who were these assistants?  One would assume they were the best dancers, but not necessarily.  More important was their ability to relate to people.  I chose women with exquisite social skills, women who were kind.  Let's face it, some men do not handle criticism well.  That includes me.  I observed that certain women had the ability to point out a man's mistakes without hurting his feelings.  These were the women I asked to become my assistants. 

Men need dance lessons more than women.  It takes a lot of practice to coordinate leads and footwork.  As the studio expanded, two-thirds of my teaching staff was female.  That was because women are better at delivering suggestions to men without hurting feelings.   Whenever an opening came up, I would ask the best of my lady assistants to become the new teacher.  That is why women who wanted to become teachers would volunteer to become my assistant.  Oddly enough, even though everything was done on a voluntary basis, these were coveted positions.  Was there a casting couch?  Absolutely not.  These spots were granted strictly on merit.

This was a part-time job, one night a week.  One might ask why these positions were coveted.  Teaching dance is fun.  Lots of laughter, the challenge of explaining how a difficult move works, the chance to interact with alert, friendly people.  I was always gratified at the high caliber of people who were happy to pitch in without pay.  These were highly-educated people who were paid huge salaries at their day jobs.  I was amazed that the best of the very best were willing to give up one night a week of their busy lives to whisper 'Slow Slow Quick Quick' to grateful Beginners.  What did I ever do to deserve these warm, caring people who donated their time to help? 

I came up with two reasons why so many talented men and women volunteered.  One was Enlightened Self-Interest, the other was a desire to contribute.  There was something about the studio I had long suspected, but in 1982 it became clear.  This was the year I got in touch with the intangible Spirit that ran through the studio.  The first four years of teaching had been so hectic, I did not have much time to reflect.  Fortunately, now that the studio was established, I had time to see the Big Picture.  Forgive me for being mushy, but I believed SSQQ had God's blessing.  After my bitter experience with Jann, I worried that people would laugh at me if I gave public voice to my belief.  However in the privacy of my thoughts I was convinced SSQQ was more than 'just a dance studio'.

Of course SSQQ was a great place to learn to dance, but it also had a special healing quality.  I noticed some students treated the studio as a sanctuary where they could be around friendly people while they recovered from a divorce or failed relationship.  The students were so clean cut that SSQQ was just as decent as a church and probably way more fun.  Naughty but nice.  So was I the only person who sensed this Spirit?  Of course not!  Lots of people 'got it'.  Well aware that SSQQ was a nurturing place, they were moved to contribute any way they could.  Like me, no one was willing to say it out loud, but we sensed the Christian Spirit of Giving was very much in effect. 

So what about that Enlightened Self-Interest?  Did you know I once lost eight lady assistants in a row?  Wednesday was always our busiest night of the week.  Since our Wednesday classes were large, I chose the best of the best to help me.  Although these ladies worked for free, they didn't seem to care.  They made plenty of money at their day jobs.  So why did they quit so often?  Did I criticize or embarrass them?  Far from it.  I worshipped these women.  See if you can guess why they quit.  The answer is bound to tickle you, so I will offer a hint.  How would I describe these women?  Pretty?  Always.  Intelligent?  Always.  Charming?  Definitely!  Warm?  Yes.  Socially-gifted?  So much more than me.  Funny?  Yes.  Plus they all had one other attribute.  Guess guess guess.  What could it be?? 

Keep guessing.

Keep guessing.

Keep guessing.

What was special about these women? 

Not only were they beautiful, warm, and intelligent...

They were single. 

And men they met in class were constantly asking them out.

So why did they all quit?  You can guess this.  It's an easy one.

The reason these women quit was always the same.  A man she had met in dance class asked her to marry him.  Look at it this way.  What is the best way to attract attention?  Find a Stage where people can see you do what you do best.  These were exceptional women who performed a high-profile service in front of a lot of single men.  Put a woman in a man's arms and her aura takes over.  He sees her laugh, sees her smile.  He realizes how sweet she is and likes how she teases him in a gentle way.  How can this guy resist the temptation to ask this lady out?  If she was interested, of course she would say yes.  One thing leads to another. 

When the time came for my latest assistant to resign, sometimes she would cry out of gratitude.  As if I had something to do with it, right??  I understood where their unusual gratitude was coming from.  These ladies deeply appreciated the supportive role I played in helping her meet her fiancé.  First I was an Archer, now I was their Cupid. 

As for me, I told each lady how grateful I was for her generous offer to help.  I hated losing them, but seeing their joy made it much easier to accept.  These women were in love.  That was all I needed to know. 

Do you want to know something funny?   Somewhere around the third or fourth Assistant in a row to get engaged, the other women at the studio figured out what was going on.  The next thing I knew, the moment the latest engagement rumor popped up, I would have seven women vying to take her place.  The women at my studio were no dummies.  Like I said, the Circle turned out to be the happiest of happy accidents.  Switching partners is what turned SSQQ into the finest Wedding Factory ever invented.