MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED SEVENTEEN:

THE EPIC LOSING STREAK

Written by Rick Archer 

1981-1982

THE REIGN OF THE WALTZ KINGS

 

For 100 years Country-Western dancing had changed little in Texas.  Back in the long-ago prairie days, it was common practice for girls to dance backwards all night long.  Even after Country-Western dancing migrated to the big city, nothing changed.  Over at Gilley's and the Winchester Club, throughout the Seventies a night of country-western meant a night of dancing backwards for the ladies. 

Then Urban Cowboy came along to upset the apple cart.  Thanks to the media wizardry of Clay Felker, in 1979 practically every Disco in Houston closed to prepare for the much-heralded coming Western Era.  When these clubs reopened, the decor had changed, but not the dancing.  Throughout the latter half of 1979, Western dancing retained its primitive state. 

However, changes were a-coming.  A legion of displaced Disco dancers were disgusted with how boring and simple the dancing was.  Throughout 1980 the Disco refugees used their knowledge of a far more sophisticated style of partner dancing to implement improvements.  Disco partner dancing was stationary, but Western dancing traveled.  Using great ingenuity, the Disco dancers figured out ways to make Disco patterns 'travel'. 

The key moment was the introduction of Double Turns into Twostep and Polka late in 1980.  'Western Swing' was part-Disco, part-Country.  The synthesis of Double Turns and complicated Disco patterns with the constant movement of Twostep and Polka created an entire new style of Western dancing.  Now that Western dancing was more challenging, it was also a lot more fun.  Country-Western dancing was here to stay in Houston.

Oddly enough, during this transition period (1980-1981) Waltz was completely ignored.  Which was kind of odd.  Virtually every C&W album contained at least one Waltz song, some had several.  As an example, the Waylon and Willie album Joanne used to teach me Western dancing had five Waltzes.  One of them was the infamous outlaw country song 'Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys'. 

With Waltz so much a part of Country music tradition, it was a mystery to me why the dancing angle was ignored. 

Here at the start of 1982 Western Waltz was still the same today as it was prior to Urban Cowboy.  With one exception of course... the legendary Waltz Kings.  In 1981 Jann Fonteno became the favorite dance partner of Waltz Kings Jim Garrison and Bill Stumph.  Jann and her friend Debbie Oswald spent many a night helping Jim and Bill perfect an entire new series of Waltz patterns.  Their efforts paid off.  Bill and Jim's patterns far transcended the usual Waltzes seen on the dance floor. 

After Jann moved to Los Angeles in 1982, Jim and Bill moped around for a while.  Fortunately, the persistent pleas of Waltz from other women alleviated their pain.  Jim and Bill found willing partners eager to take Jann's place.

Due to their reputation, Jim and Bill had women begging to Waltz with them.  When I say 'begging', I do not exaggerate.  These were grown women, but they acted like pitiful, forlorn teenagers.  Pleading.  Beseeching.  Imploring.  Cajoling.  Hinting at favors beyond the dance floor.  I was incredulous at the sway these former nerds held over lovely women.

One night at Texas I witnessed an unruly mob of five women arguing with each other over who was next in line to dance the upcoming Waltz with Jim or Bill.  These women wanted to Waltz so badly that they had begun to fight amongst themselves for the privilege.  I kid you not.

"I'm next!" "No you aren't!"  "Yes I am!"  "I was here before you!" "Bill asked me first!"  "No, he didn't, he asked me first!"  "That's what you think!"  "That is what I know."  "Wrong, just ask Bill!" "You're in for disappointment, the next Waltz is mine! 

This went on and on.  I thought these women were ladies, but maybe not.  This catfight was unbecoming to their dignity.  At the same time, I was impressed.  My gosh, these guys have women fighting over them!  How was this possible?  When Bill and Jim were not on the dance floor, they were just two normal guys.  Put them on the dance floor and the ladies lined up.  What kind of pixie dust did Bill and Jim sprinkle to turn grown women into whining, pleading groupies?  Women would literally flock to their side whenever a Waltz came on.  Amazed at the popularity of the Waltz, the mystery to me was why more men did not realize a better knowledge of Waltz would be just as effective for them as it was for Jim and Bill. 

One night I saw John Cowen dancing the Waltz with Debbie Oswald.  John looked good out there.  He was matching Jim and Bill's moves stride for stride.  John was cut from the same mold as Jim and Bill.  Put John on a beach and no woman would notice.  But put him on the dance floor and watch Debbie, a reigning SSQQ princess, swoon over him. 

After the song was over, I pulled John aside.  "Where did you learn to Waltz like that?"

"Oh, Debbie taught me.  She's kind of irritated that Jim and Bill don't ask her to Waltz anymore.  Now that the Waltz Kings are busy seducing every girl in sight, Debbie asked if I would like to improve my Waltz skills."

"That's interesting.  Is she a good teacher?"

"Debbie is a very good teacher.  Don't forget she and Jann were the ones who helped Jim and Bill make up their moves back in the days of the Winchester."

That was true.  Jann had been effusive in her praise of Debbie.  According to Jann, Debbie had been the one to constantly prod Jim and Bill to come up with new ideas. 

"I have a question, John.  What do you think about the Waltz?"

"I love it.  And I bet a lot of other guys would like it too.  Why don't you teach a course in Waltz?  Maybe it's time to branch out a bit."

I nodded.  I liked John's idea to teach a Waltz course, but it was impractical.  My arrangement with Glen, owner of Dance Arts, was to rent Rooms 2 and 3 every night of the week from 7-9.  During this time, Glen was teaching his jazz classes in Room 1.  Now that SSQQ had become the most popular country-western program in the city, I did not have a square inch of extra space. 

"I agree with you, but to add a Waltz class would mean removing a current class.  Ever since V-Ann came along to take Jann's place, her promotional ability has my western classes jam-packed.  I don't have space for all the people who want to take a class from us.  V-Ann fills every room to the max."

Now it was John's turn to nod.  "Yeah, I forgot about that."

"Besides," I continued, "Twostep and Polka pay the bills.  Since I don't have a single class that is underperforming, it would be a huge risk to trade a class that gets the job done for one that carries a question mark.  Waltz is an unknown quantity.  The women are all for it, but the men seem totally uninterested."

"I see your point.  Just keep it in mind.  Maybe you will see an opening in your schedule one of these days."

The upshot is that any thought of offering a Waltz class in 1982 was out of the question. 

1982

THE MONTHLY STUDIO DANCE PARTIES

The demise of the Winchester at the start of 1982 upset all of us.  Dallas and Texas, our new hangouts, were large enough to handle our weeknight crowd, but not our 100-plus crowd at the Winchester Graduation Night.  What should we do? 

Right before she left, Jann Fonteno suggested replacing Winchester Graduation Night with a dance party held on the last Saturday of each month here at Dance Arts.   One night she dragged me into Room One when it was empty.

"Look around.  The dance floor in the Big Room is the same size as the dance floor at the Winchester.  You can hold your Graduation Night here instead."

"But we don't have tables and chairs like they do at the Winchester Club."

"No one seemed to care at the last Halloween Party."

"How would you know?  You weren't even there."

"Maybe not, but I saw Fogo's pictures.  No one seemed to mind standing.  Why not ask Glen for permission to throw a monthly dance party?"

I recalled my former boss Lance Stevens held a monthly dance party at his studio complete with tables and chairs.  Maybe I could get by with folding chairs and skip the space-consuming tables.  I ran the idea past Glen and he said okay.  This was the start of our 'end of the month' party tradition here at the studio.  It served as the perfect replacement for the Winchester Club.

OCTOBER 1982

HISTORY OF THE EPIC LOSING STREAK

 

Without my scarred face, there never would have been an Epic Losing Streak.  Without the Epic Losing Streak, there never would have been an SSQQ Dance Studio.  Was the pain worth it?

My Epic Losing Streak began in October 1963, my Freshman year of high school.  I am not sure of the exact date, but it was sometime around my 14th birthday, October 24th.  Like many other red-blooded teenage boys, the onset of puberty brought with it a sudden interest in girls.  I had long been an underdog at St. John's, the rich kid's school.  Academically I belonged, but due to my broken home, socially I was the least savvy boy in my grade.  I had some serious catching-up to do.  Fortunately, I had a plan.  I was a very good basketball player, possibly the best in my class.  Practicing daily all summer long, I planned to try out for the junior varsity.  If I made the team and did well, I hoped to catch the eye of one of the girls in my Freshman class.  I might even make friends with some of my teammates.

Alas, it was not meant to be.  Due to an infected lymph gland, a terrible overnight attack of acne left me riddled with pimples covering every inch of my face.  By the time the acne disappeared a year later, it was replaced by permanent scars.  Quite frankly, I felt repulsive. 

So what about that dating project?  Forget it.  I had already been miles behind in the 9th grade.  With my face in this condition, now I was light years behind.  Better to postpone any thought of dating till college when I could get a fresh start.  College was a disaster, so I fell further behind.  Graduate School was the worst of all thanks to an evil woman named Vanessa.  She did more to ruin my confidence than any woman I ever met.  Next came Patricia, a clone of Vanessa.  Then came four years with Victoria.  Need I say more?

It was now October 1982.  As things stood on the eve of my 33rd birthday, over the past 18 years I had yet to develop a single healthy relationship.  I had a few promising starts, Jennifer for example, but they all fizzled out.  This was my Epic Losing Streak. 

Do you ever play the 'What If' game? 

How would my life have turned out without those scars?  Age 14, I was a loner and socially awkward.  However I had a lot going for me.  I was smart, athletic and reasonably good-looking.  If you will excuse a lack of modesty, I had no trouble getting several girls my age to smile at me.  Plus I was a shoo-in for the junior varsity basketball team, my secret weapon.  Despite my underdog status, I had every reason to believe my athletic ability would have drawn a closer look from those smiling young ladies.  No doubt I would have experienced my share of teenage heartache just like everyone else.  However, if I had kept a clear face, I firmly believe I would avoided 18 years of neverending problems with women.  Instead, the attack of acne and the ensuing scars set me on a much more difficult life track. 

Without the scars, my life would have been (dare I say it?) kind of normal.  So, if I could do it all over again, would I have chosen a life without the scars?  That is a really tough question.  Through the gift of hindsight, I can report my 18 years of suffering led to a remarkable and quite satisfying life experience.  But I sure would hate to go through all that misery again. 

Would Helen Keller choose to be deaf and blind?  Would Malala Yousafzai choose to come within an inch of being shot to death?  Would Franklin Roosevelt choose to be paralyzed by polio?  Would Stephen Hawking choose to be crippled and disfigured by a rare disease?

Here is the problem.  No one ever tells us how things are going to turn out.  If someone had told Helen Keller she would become an inspiration to humanity, would that have made a difference?  If someone told Malala Yousafzai she would win the Nobel Peace Prize and become an international hero to girls everywhere, would she have said, "Oh sure, go ahead and shoot me!"  If someone had told Franklin Roosevelt that his suffering from polio would help him gain the empathy necessary to become an amazing President, would he have said, "Oh shucks, I don't mind being paralyzed if it will help me accomplish great things."  Would Stephen Hawking consent to live a life of bound to a wheel-chair and voice synthesizer in exchange for the chance to learn the secrets of the Universe? 

My guess is that all four would have said NO WAY!  No one in their right mind ever chooses to suffer.  I would have said no as well.  I suffered far too much to willingly agree to go through that torture again.  It was better that I was given no choice.  St. John's was the Land of the Beautiful, home to genetically-superior students who lacked for nothing when it came to perfection.  Unlike me, that included access to dermatologists. 

Lucky me, I suffered a fluke infection that spread like wildfire through my lymph gland system overnight.  I cannot begin to describe the horror of awakening to a face covered by a lava field of acne the next morning.  Handsome at 10 pm, a monster at 6 am.  Lucky me, I had a mother who was too stupid to recognize that a face swollen to the size of an inflated balloon signaled a serious infection.  It took her four days to get me to a doctor.  By then it was too late. 

Just my luck to be stuck at a men's college. No dates in high school, few dates in college.  .  By the time I reached graduate school, my lack of social acuity left me defenseless. Just my luck to fall for Vanessa, a woman who was lying any time lips were moving.  That sound you hear is the thud of me hitting Rock Bottom. 

So what happened next?  After getting thrown out of grad school, I stumbled across the Mistress Book.  Any man who learns to dance has a chance.  Given the shape I was in, that was exactly what I needed to hear.  What the book failed to say is that it helps to have some natural ability.  Oops.  Wish I had known that ahead of time.  It took three years to learn to dance well enough for dancing to be of any value.  During this time, no matter how hard I tried to find the right girl, something always went wrong.  Fortunately, although the dance advice had failed to deliver the long-hoped for girlfriend, the lessons led to a dance career. 

When I started my dance career in January 1978, I was suddenly surrounded by women who clamored for my attention.  Clearly I had made a lot of progress.  But here is the weird part... things continued to go wrong.  I was no longer a social cripple.  In fact, the chance to interact with women on a nightly basis improved my confidence dramatically.  But I still had one more handicap to deal with.  I lacked a backbone around beautiful women.  So the Universe sent me Patricia.  Learned some hard lessons from her.  But Patricia could not hold a candle to Victoria.  Victoria thrived on competition with other beautiful women.  You might even call it her fatal flaw.  Eliminating Patricia was child's play for the manipulative Victoria.  So was Jennifer, the girl who got away.  Then came Susan, the new flame of her divorced husband Michael.  How could Victoria resist?  In process of reducing Susan to rubble, Victoria magically regained her infatuation with Michael.  Now that was one plot twist I never saw coming.  It took Victoria a year, but she got Michael back.  As usual, what Victoria wants, Victoria gets.

It was a shame that Victoria added three years to my Epic Losing Streak, but my time was not wasted.  Three years of dealing with the most cunning woman I had ever met helped me develop that missing backbone.  My education was finally complete.  Following Victoria's departure, for the first time in my life I was ready to deal with beautiful, talented women on even footing.  Bring on the next challenge and let's put an end to this Epic Losing Streak. 

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1982

MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT

 

It was Tuesday, October 26.  With the Halloween Party four days away, I was in a pensive mood.  And for good reason.  I had just begun the 19th year of my Epic Losing Streak.  As Summer turned into Fall, I had not heard from Victoria in over three months.  Maybe the coast was clear.  It certainly seemed that way.  With the Halloween Party around the corner, naturally my thoughts drifted to last year's party.  Now that Phyllis was gone, Liz had returned to prominence in my dreams.  I had heard rumors Liz was dating someone, but maybe she would remember our near miss.  If so, would she be at this year's party?  I certainly hoped so. 

I was sitting in V-Ann's kitchen drinking coffee.  Earlier this morning she had called to wish me a Happy Birthday, albeit two days late.  V-Ann was calling to invite me over to get my birthday present.  She lived so close, I rode my bike.  At the moment V-Ann was on the phone with a prospective student.  I listened with amusement as she worked her well-honed sales pitch.

"What you need to do is swing by Texas tonight!  This is my night to greet newcomers.  Why don't you come by so we can talk about dance lessons?  Do you know the address?  Excellent!  Well, good, I will see you there!"

When V-Ann returned, I greeted her with a smile.  "I have never met anyone like you.  I bet you could talk the Pope into dance lessons."

V-Ann smiled.  She was pleased by my compliment. 

"You're right!  Maybe the Pope likes Country-Western music.  But I don't want to talk about dance lessons.  I have a birthday present for you."

"I don't see a box.  Is it too big to wrap?"

"No, my present is intangible.  I have some interesting information for you."

"Oh yeah?  What's that?"

"Last night Judy Price mentioned she broke up with her boyfriend.  You should grab her before it's too late."

I immediately gulped.  I liked Judy Price.  I had thought about her off and on many times.  But what if it didn't work out? 

"Judy has never given me the time of day.  What makes you think she'll go out with me?  Did she say something?"

"No, but I'm her best friend and I know these things."

Uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was headed, I tried to deflect.  "Wait a minute, V-Ann.  You said I was your best friend."

"Not anymore.  Now I like Judy better."

"You certainly have a lot of nerve.  I should fire you for disloyalty."

"Yeah, go ahead and let's see how many friends you have left.  Everyone likes me better than you."

That shut me up.  V-Ann was right.  Everyone adored her.  "So," I asked, "why did you switch to Judy instead of me?"

"Judy doesn't call me stupid names like V-Anna Banana."

"My, aren't we the fickle one?  That's nothing compared to the dumb names you call me.  So what's your Halloween costume this year?"

"Don't change the subject.  We are discussing Judy and I need an answer."

I suddenly became very nervous.  Although I believed I was ready for a challenge, dating her would be a challenge, Risky Business to be sure.  Let's say Liz became available.  If things did not work out with her, oh well, but I could handle it.  Judy was my best teacher.  If something went wrong, not only would I lose a good friend, I would also lose my best teacher.  In other words, the stakes were high. 

Judy Price had taught at the studio for nearly three years, so I knew her pretty well.  Judy was a formidable woman.  She had a bad habit of speaking her mind any time she did not agree with me.  Besides, I was dealing with some serious loneliness which made me vulnerable.  Did I dare risk my heart?  No.  With a sigh, I decided to play it safe.   

"V-Ann, I have a rule against dating women who work for me."

"That's a dumb rule.  Judy likes you."

"How do you know?  Has Judy said something?"

"You already asked that.  No.  But I can tell."

I frowned.  I hated to admit it, but V-Ann had aroused my interest.  I had known Judy for over two years, plenty of time to realize she was special.  Looking for reassurance, I asked question.  "If Judy hasn't said a word, what makes you so sure?"

"I see how she looks at you.  You're her Johnny Angel."

"Oh, shut up.  I hate that nickname."

V-Ann was pleased to see she had annoyed me.  "Don't change the subject.  If you paid better attention, you would know I'm right."

Time for another deep sigh.  "I have to admit Judy would be an excellent choice.  However, if something goes wrong, I would hate to lose my best dance teacher."

"So who do you know who is a better choice?"

"I don't really have one.  I had my eye on Phyllis Goldberg, but she got away.  And Liz has a boyfriend.  But I'm not ready to get serious about anyone.  I could not date Judy casually.  She's a keeper.  I need a woman who won't give me a hard time."

V-Ann shook her head.  "Don't be such a coward.  Judy would kill me if she knew I told you this, but she is between boyfriends at the moment.  Rumors move fast.  From what I gather, with the Halloween Party coming up on Saturday, you better hurry before someone beats you to the punch.  If Judy comes to the party by herself, she won't be lonely long.  You better grab her now before she gets away."

Hmm.  V-Ann had a good point.  Judy was far and away the most popular girl at the studio.  The list of her strong points was impressive.  Sexy, funny, pretty, outgoing, classy, well-liked, great dancer.  Plus I already liked her.  I would hard-pressed to find a better woman.  Judy was a leader.  The universal respect she commanded would make her a popular choice among my friends.  So I gave in.  If V-Ann said I had a shot, then I would be a fool not to check it out.

That night I pulled Judy aside in the hallway after class.  "So, Judy, I've been thinking, how would you like to go with me to the Halloween Party this Saturday?"

Judy looked me over coolly.  Clearly she was nowhere near as smitten as V-Ann had led me to believe.

"Are you asking me for a date?"

Taken aback, I stuttered, "Uh, yes, kind of."

Judy frowned.  "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Whoa!  V-Ann claimed Judy had been dreaming of me.  If so, Judy sure did a good job of hiding it. 

"Well, uh, I thought so, but you don't look too happy about it."

"You're my boss.  I like this job.  What if you turn out to be a creep and I have to quit?  Or maybe you'll fire me if I don't cooperate.  I'm not the notch on your bedpost type."

Holy Cow.  Who is this woman?  At first I thought Judy was teasing, but then I realized she was dead serious.  If this woman had been pining for me, she sure wasn't showing it.  Embarrassed by Judy's obvious reluctance, I made a mental note to murder V-Ann for getting me into this.

"Why are you giving me such a hard time, Judy?  You've known me for nearly three years.  I've never made a single pass at you.  Do I strike you as a womanizer?"

"No.  I just wanted to see if you were serious or not.  Sure, I'll go out with you.  But you better mean business because there will a lot of wagging tongues.  Are you ready for that?"

When Judy put it like that, I gulped.  She was right.  There was no room for error on this one, no way to ease into it.  On the other hand, Judy had been the unquestioned Queen Bee of the studio for two years.  Now that Jann, Phyllis and Victoria were gone, Judy had quietly stepped up as the female leader of the Nifty Fifty.  She was the best dancer, the favorite teacher, and well-liked by everyone.  If it worked out between us, we would be a perfect match.  Not only that, now that Phyllis was gone and Liz was at best a long-shot, I could not think of another woman I was interested in.  On the other hand, I was not encouraged by the lukewarm welcome.

"I'll tell you what, Judy.  Since you have some reservations, why don't we both think about it.  We can talk about it when I see you again on Thursday."

Judy nodded.  "I think that's a good idea."

On Wednesday I made another bike trip to V-Ann's house.  "Okay, love guru, explain to me why Judy gave me such a hard time."

"Oh, Rick, she was just testing you.  You're her boss, you hold all the cards.  Judy's not the casual type.  She has a wide choice of men, so why let you waste her time unless you really mean it.  Do you want to go out with her or don't you?"

"I don't know.  Judy plays for keeps.  I have not had a serious girlfriend since Jennifer three years ago.  This is a big step."

"Anyone you date will undergo tremendous scrutiny.  Judy is the only woman I know who will silence the critics.  That is because Judy is a lady in every positive sense of the word.  She is what is known as a woman's woman.  Judy commands immediate respect not just with men, but women who know her.  Better yet, she already loves the studio.  Don't be such a dork."

"Okay, Matchmaker, one more question.  Why are you so insistent?"

"Because sometimes it is obvious when two people are right for each other."

"And you promise that this is your idea, not something you and Judy cooked up together."

"You have my word."

I nodded.  "All right, V-Ann, you win.  I will speak to her on Thursday."

 

On Thursday Judy walked up to me.  "So what did you decide?"

"I'm game if you are.  Let's go to the Halloween Party together.  We don't have to make any announcements or wear matching outfits.  We can hang out together, but still dance with whomever we please.  Afterwards we can talk some more on the way home."

"No, I disagree.  I think for this one, it would be better if I just meet you at the studio.  It's a little too public for a first date.  Knowing you, there will be women clamoring for your attention.  I prefer to feel special, so I'd rather take it slow.  Besides, what if you get drunk again like last year?"

Hmm.  Not my favorite memory.  Squirming mightily, I had forgotten Judy had been at last year's party.  She had come dressed as Carmen Miranda.  Apparently she had witnessed my demise. 

I was tempted to ask how much she knew, but changed my mind. 

"Bob promised to ease up on the punch, so there shouldn't be a problem."

Judy did not look convinced.  "How do you know Bob has learned his lesson?"

"Bob and I have spoken several times.  He promises to keep a closer eye on things."

"What about you?  Have you learned your lesson?  Any naked dancing girls scheduled to perform?"

Darn it!  I had not expected to be grilled like this.  "Uh, no.  I have a magician lined up.  He promises not to make anyone's clothes disappear."

Judy smiled for the first time.  "Too bad.  I might have liked that.  What about last year's orgy?  Any orgies planned for this year?"

I suddenly realized Judy was teasing me.  With that I laughed.  "You're not cutting me much slack.  Are you are always this tough on your gentlemen suitors?"

Judy smiled.  "No.  Only the ones I'm interested in."

OCTOBER 1982

HALLOWEEN 1982

 

If Judy was excited about our first date, she had a funny way of showing it.  She came dressed as a vampire.  A subliminal message?

"Uh, Judy, what's with the vampire outfit?  Are you cold-blooded?"

"Most little girls grow up wanting to be a ballet dancer.  I grew up wanting to be a vampire."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Maybe."

"Couldn't you have worn something more cheerful?"

"I figured if I got mad at you, I could just stay in character and draw blood."

That was my first clue that Judy was no ordinary woman.  Indeed, Judy remained aloof the entire evening.  I doubt a single person knew she was supposed to be my date.  I imagine that was by design on her part.  Judy and I danced a couple times, but she failed to smile.  Meanwhile Judy danced with a dozen guys and chatted happily with a dozen girlfriends.  However, around me she was nonchalant.  Not once did we have a conversation beyond one minute.  That said, I did catch her looking at me a couple times. 

Towards the end of the evening V-Ann came up.  "How is your first date with Judy going?"

"Awful.  But how did you know this was a date?"

"Judy told me."

"We're not doing so hot.  She is barely giving me the time of day."

"Oh, don't worry about that.  She's just testing you."

"What's the point of that?  I'm not testing her."

"Yeah, but she has more to lose if you get cold feet.  She really loves the studio.  Every one of her friends is here.  If something goes wrong, her whole world would be destroyed.  Besides that, she doesn't want to be embarrassed if you decide the thought of dating her is a mistake."

"Well, when you put it that way, I see your point.  But why does life always have to be so complicated?"

V-Ann replied, "Probably because people don't like to get their feelings hurt.  Judy is a very cautious woman.  I think she's gotten her heart broken a time or two."

"I guess we all have.  But Judy need not worry.  I have the utmost respect for her.  She has been the consummate professional for nearly three years and a constant source of support.  I have always liked her.  If she ever gets around to smiling at me, I think we can have fun together."

Just then Judy walked up.  "What are you two talking about?"

"I was telling V-Ann how much I like you."

Grabbing my hand, Judy replied, "Good answer.  Guess what?  I like you too.  Why don't you ask me out again?  Try feeding me next time.  You'll get further."

"Blood or ice cream?"

"Tough choice.  If you promise to be nice, ice cream."

As it turned out, I did ask Judy out again.  It did not take long for Judy to become the best girlfriend I ever had.  For the first time in my life, I would have a woman I loved beside me on New Year's Eve.  I was 33 years old.  It was about time.

The Epic Losing Streak was over.