MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED SIXTEEN:

SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE

Written by Rick Archer 

GREG AND SUSAN

There are countless marriages with an SSQQ pedigree that I will never know about.  Fortunately, every now and then someone from the past would email me or visit the studio to share the good news.  A good example is the story of Greg and Susan Broer.  One night in 2006 an attractive couple approached me at the dance studio.  I had no idea who they were. 

Greg stuck out his hand to greet me while his pretty wife Susan beamed.  Greg said, "You probably don't remember us, but you paired us up in a Disco dance class back in 1979.  It was love at first sight.  We went on to get married the next year."

Now it was Susan's turn.  "I came in late to class.  You said you paired me up with Greg because we were both tall and did not have partners.  Which was a silly thing to say since Greg's a head taller.  Later on, I asked you the real reason.  You said you paired us up because you thought we looked like we belonged together.  What a wonderful thing to say!  All these years, we have given you total credit for bringing us together.  Thank you!  We call you the Matchmaker at our house!"

I smiled.  They still looked good together!  Very classy, very alert.  There was a definite warmth that spoke to their closeness.  Curious, I asked, "Where have you been for 27 years?"

Greg laughed.  "My job took me away from Houston shortly after our marriage.  We were in town this week to see my mother.  On a whim we looked on the Internet to see if you were still in business.  Since your studio is near my mother's house, we thought we would drop by.  We are glad to see you are doing so well.  You look great and your classes are huge!" 

What a sweet couple.  I thanked them for taking the time to share such a neat story with me, then added how flattered I was to know I had played such an important part in their lives.

BOB AND ANA

Most of my dance class assistants were unusually good-looking women.  However I did make the occasional exception.  Although Ana was what some people would refer to as a monster, I was able to see her inner beauty. 

Of course I am teasing.  Ana was actually very attractive.  She was also a very sweet lady.  When Ana offered to help me teach a Western class, I quickly accepted.  Like many of my previous assistants, Ana quickly caught the eye of a handsome, outgoing man.   Bob and Ana were soon inseparable.  I was very pleased.  They were two of my favorite people. 

As one can gather, Ana was following in the grand tradition of the many lovely assistants before her who had met their future husbands in dance class.  Meeting Bob demonstrated yet again how becoming an Assistant in one of my classes carried some pretty spectacular advantages.  I cannot imagine a better way for a lovely woman like Ana to get noticed. 

What I liked best about Ana was her sense of humor.  She had so much fun giving me a hard time.  Here is a good example.  Once upon a time there was a couple who had an odd habit of coming to class wearing matching outfits.  One night I decided to tease them.  I told the class that the winners of every dance contest always wore color-coordinated outfits.  If it was a close contest, the couple with the matching outfit always seemed to win.

Then I added that someone from this very class might enter a contest someday.  So maybe this would be a good time to develop a heightened sense of fashion.  As part of the standing joke, each week I would name one couple as winners of tonight's color-coordinated award.

Well aware of my dumb joke, one night Ana persuaded Bob to come to class wearing an identical outfit, thereby winning that night's award.  After this happened three weeks in a row, I finally caught on this was no accident.  Of course I teased Ana unmercifully about her 'desperate plea for attention'.  So Ana decided to pay me back.  Ana secretly persuaded the entire class to wear matching white and black outfits as a way to tease me.

Her payback worked like a charm.  See for yourself. 

Since Bob and Ana had met in dance class, they made the studio a big part of their courtship.  As one can guess from their pictures, they were definitely headed to the altar. 

Ana loved our Halloween Party.  However, she had the strangest habit of coming as truly repulsive monsters.  She would wear these ugly masks for an hour or so, then remove it when it was time to dance.  Of course I was always impressed by how hideous her masks were.  Ana loved to ask if I had known it was her.  Of course I did not have the slightest idea it was her, but did I tell her that?  No!  Why give her the satisfaction?  I would simply say I looked for the worst costume at the party and assumed it was her.

Ana knew I was fibbing, so at the next party she decided to get even.  Ana was a very clever lady.  Not only did she persuade Bob to don a hideous mask, she persuaded her sister Sylvia to come as well.  The addition of Sylvia was brilliant.  Her presence created serious doubt in my mind.  If it was two people, of course it was Bob and Ana.  But three people?  Not once that night did any of the three remove their masks.  They just sat on the couch and watched.  I thought one of them might be Ana, but when I went over to confront the trio, all three wordlessly shook their head no.  Since they refused to take their masks off, I spent the entire night trying to guess who these characters were.  Even more maddening, they left the party when I wasn't looking.  They did this just to irritate me and it worked.  Who were those guys?  I was floored when Ana confessed the following week.  Do you have any idea how hot she was under that mask?  Ana was one tough lady.

I was very sad when Bob and Ana disappeared soon after.  I missed her.  Ana was always such a delightful woman.  Fortunately they did not forget me.  In April 2010 Bob sent me an email complete with photographs to report their recent marriage.  I was very pleased.  What a wonderful couple.

1999: DAWN OF THE INTERNET

Perhaps the Reader is curious why I have shared the stories of Greg and Susan, Bob and Ana.  I wanted to show how the Internet helped me learn about two marriages I had previously been unaware of.  Both couples met at the studio.  Both couples married out of sight.  Both couples reported the good news after the fact.  In addition, both couples used the Internet to inform me, but in different ways. 

For example, Greg and Susan had no idea how to find me.  I no longer worked at the studio where they met 27 years ago.  Nor did they know the name of my new studio.  So they googled 'Rick Archer' on the Internet.  They found my website and my address.

As for Bob and Ana, they sent an email to let me know what happened.  This was a common procedure.  During the final eleven years of the studio's history, I received countless similar emails announcing various weddings and engagements. 

The dawn of the Internet was very good to both me and the studio.  At the advice of several tech-savvy students, in 1999 my SSQQ website became one of the first dance studios to appear on the Internet.  The website led to profound changes.  I was able to save considerable time and money by emailing my schedule rather than snail-mail.  No more Labeling Parties.  However, now I had to find a way to get students to actually open their email and entice them to visit the website.  So I began to write stories about my dance career.  Yes, in case you are curious, this was how (and when) my writing career began.  In addition, I published heartwarming stories about each new wedding and engagement.  These were popular stories. 

So many people from the studio visited my website that the traffic inadvertently turned SSQQ into the country's most famous dance studio.  My website was so popular that it was listed first on the Internet after any search for 'dance studios'.  This was not hard to do... there were very few other dance studios on the Internet at the time.  Still, it was fun to have SSQQ at the top of the first page.   This lasted for several years until other studios began to pay to have their website listed before mine.  Oh well.

The convenience of email led to my discovery of the studio's marriage phenomenon.  Many couples did not bother to tell me about their wedding.  So how did I find out?  Their buddies informed me.  Invariably the wedding couple would invite friends from the studio to the ceremony.  One of their friends would turn around and drop me an email.

In 1999 I was inundated with notices of engagements and recent weddings.  Curious, at the end of the year I added them all up and posted the news on my website.  

16 weddings, 10 engagements. 

That was an amazing total.  I was utterly flabbergasted.  I had known for years that SSQQ played a role in many marriages.  However I never quite knew the extent till now.  26 weddings and engagements in one year.  Wow.  I knew the studio was good, but I no idea it was THAT GOOD!  This realization was a game changer.  Thanks to Internet, I now had statistical proof of the studio's effectiveness at creating marriages. 

For the next ten years I kept careful track of every new notice.  During this 11-year period, I collected 165 wedding notices, an average of 15 per year. 

FLYING UNDER THE RADAR

It was not until the Internet came along that I was able to keep track of the studio's amazing ability to create marriages.  Now that the dawn of Internet had alerted me to the full extent of SSQQ's powerful Slow Dance and Romance Magic, I became curious about all those unknown marriages that took place prior to 1999. 

There are two kinds of couples at SSQQ... those who stick around and those who stay briefly.  As a result, prior to year 1999, unless a couple made the studio a big part of their life, I had no way of knowing who got married and who didn't.  For example, Bob and Louise Job were friends of mine.  The same for Tom and Margaret Easley.  I knew about their marriages. 

But what about the pre-1999 SSQQ romances that took place out of sight?   The ones who left quickly far out-numbered the long-term couples.  Take Greg and Susan Broer for example.  They met in their first dance class and began to date.  They left at the end of their two-month class, but continued to date.  One year down the road they got married, but had no reason to tell me about it.  Since Greg and Susan were completely anonymous to me, I had no way to follow the romantic progress of this 'Under the Radar' couple. 

It is not much of a stretch to think there are countless SSQQ-related marriages out there that will permanently remain in the dark.  For every SSQQ-related marriage I know of, I imagine there is a matching marriage I will never know about.   In fact, I believe there are more marriages I don't know about than couple I do.  Why?  Because the studio was in operation for 22 years before I began to keep track. 

Just how many unknown married couples are out there where the studio played a part?  I will never know.  However, I do have a way of guessing.  It is time to play a game called 'Wedding Math'. 

SSQQ WEDDING MATH

As one can see, my friend Loni got married out of town.  Otherwise I would have probably been invited to her wedding.  Fortunately Loni took the time to drop me an email complete with photograph.  This is an example of how I kept track of weddings for 11 years.

Through the use of email notices such as Loni's, 1999 was the first year I tracked weddings and engagements.  You have no idea how excited my students were when I posted the results on my website at the end of the year.  Everyone knew about the 'Legend' of SSQQ Slow Dance and Romance.  But like me, the long-term students had no idea just how extensive the phenomenon was until they saw the 1999 names and numbers.  What a surprise!  It was like discovering the the Abominable Snowman really exists after all. 

Encouraged by the enthusiasm my statistics had produced, I continued to keep careful track of every SSQQ Wedding.  At the end of every year I listed the results to further fanfare.  Unfortunately in 2009 my landlord refused to renew the lease, so that became the final full year of SSQQ Wedding Magic. 

So let's do the math.  165 marriages divided by 11 years averages out to 15 weddings per year. 

The studio was open for 32 years, 1978-2010.  15 weddings per year times 32 years equals 480 marriages.  I doubt the studio was that prolific.  However, '400 weddings' is a real possibility.  Let's use 400 weddings as a rough estimate.

There are 12 months in a year.  12 months times 32 years is 384 months.

384 months and roughly 400 marriages, maybe a few more, more likely a few less.  Either way, the two numbers are close enough.  Dividing 384 months into 400 marriages, let's keep it simple and say 'One marriage per month'. 

I contend that over the 32 year span of my program, SSQQ was responsible for an average of one new marriage per month. 

Think about it.  One marriage per month for 32 years.  I consider this phenomenon to be utterly remarkable.  I bet even large churches cannot make a claim like this.  When it comes to creating romance, there may never be another place quite as amazing as SSQQ.