JUNE SCHEDULE OF SSQQ DANCE CLASSES.
Classes begin the week of Sunday, June 2.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE JUNE SCHEDULE
LATIN CARNIVAL comes to Sundays in June at 4:30 pm. Taught by Judy Archer, this is a class that covers 4 well-known non-Salsa Latin dances including Cha Cha, Rumba, Samba, & Bossa Nova. This course is an introduction to Ballroom-style Latin dancing.
Gloria Sanchez throws away her crutches to offer BEGINNING LINDY HOP on Sundays at 4:30 pm. Lindy Hop of course is America's first Swing dance that was resurrected from the dance graveyard during the Swing revival in the 90s and remains ever-popular with SSQQ's Swing Kids. You will enjoy learning this remarkable dance!
On Sundays at 7 pm Judy will teach an unusual course known as ADVANCED
TWOSTEP/POKA. Her patterns are very complex and are drawn from Advanced Ballroom patterns. In other words, knowledge of Western Swing isn't necessary because the patterns don't involve so many turns but rather clever patterns from closed dance position.
BEGINNING HIP HOP JAZZ comes to SSQQ for the first time in June. The teacher is Michele
Franzwa, a Junior at Texas Tech who just happens to be a dance major. This is a terrific class for teenagers as well as adults who want to learn the latest and greatest in urban dance.
June is the official SSQQ SOCK HOP MONTH!! Because so many of the great hits from the 50s & 60s have slower tempos, we will spend more time in the June Swing classes covering the tricky JITTERBUG footwork to prepare for our big dance on June 22!
On Tuesdays in June, Judy Archer offers ADVANCED SALSA MAMBO LEVEL 8 for the very first time. This is your chance to learn some new patterns from the woman who has trained more Salsa dancers than any other teacher in all of Houston!
On Tuesdays in June, Paula da Silva offers our first-ever INTERMEDIATE BALLROOM class. Her course will focus primarily on Intermediate and Advanced steps to Foxtrot and Waltz, two of the most famous dances in Ballroom Dance!
The most-talked about Western class of 2000 & 2001 was the 4-month Western Waltz cycle taught by Sharon Crawford. The magic has been repeated in 2002 - Sharon's Beg Western Waltz in May had 100 people sign up! In June, Sharon will offer INTERMEDIATE WESTERN WALTZ to be followed by Adv in July and Super Advanced in August. If you stay for the entire 4 month program, you can expect to join the ranks of the finest Western Waltz dancers in the entire city. Don't miss it!!
ADVANCED NIGHT CLUB TWOSTEP continues on Fridays with the woman who got the entire studio dancing Night Club in the first place, Susie Merrill. Every C&W album has two or three romantic slow songs on it. Night Club Twostep is the dance that fits these ballads perfectly. Susie has taken the time to become the studio specialist in Night Club. Susie even went to the trouble of hiring Dave
Getty, the national UCWDC director, to teach her dance team Heartbeat the latest developments in Night Club. You might be surprised at what she learned! The reaction here at SSQQ has been very favorable to this new dance. After class on Fridays, stay for our Western Practice night afterwards where we will Room 5 dedicated to this music exclusively!
SSQQ DANCE PARTIES IN JUNE
The MUY CALIENTE SALSA PARTY
Saturday, June 8
Room 1 for this party is devoted strictly to Salsa Dancing. Room 4 will feature Tango and requests.
CRASH COURSES AT MUY CALIENTE FROM 7-9 PM:
SALSA DIPS/LUNGES II - Judy/ Martin (cpls)
LAMBADA: SALSA DIRTY DANCE! - Linda
BEG LATIN CHA CHA - Paula
BEG SALSA MERENGUE - Jim
BEG AMERICAN TANGO - YJ
ZYDECO - Ronnie
In particular, you might find your eyes are drawn to the Lambada course. The legendary Forbidden Dance was an early precursor of today's Salsa Craze. You will enjoy learning this infamous dance.
In addition, Judy and Martin have a sequel to the wildly popular Crash Course known as "Salsa Dips and Lunges".
THE FABULOUS SSQQ SOCK HOP SWING DANCE!
Saturday, June 22
Room 1 for this party is reserved for Swing and Jitterbug Dancing plus all the crazy 50s Line Dances we perform at this party. Room 4 is reserved Whip/WCS dancing to the great Whip music of the 60s and 70s.
CRASH COURSES AT THE SOCK HOP FROM 7-9 PM:
BEG SWING - Mona
DIFFICULT JITT. ACROBATICS - Paul (cpls)
SOCK HOP PARTY LINE DANCES - Rick
ADVANCED LINDY HOP PTNS - Bryan
SHAGGIE JITTERBUG - Rachel
BEG WEST COAST SWING - Ann
TED & MARGIE'S FAV ADV WHIP PTNS- Ted and Margie
The Sock Hop is one of the three best SSQQ parties of the year. Everyone makes a real effort to wear great costumes and we take pictures to post on the web site. We even manage to find some Western music to dance to, believe it or not! The Line Dances are great fun too - if you don't know them, make an effort to take the Sock Hop Party Line Dances Crash Course as we will videotape you dancing them later on!
Please note Acrobatic Instructor Extraordinaire Paul Foltyn is offering a "DIFFICULT ACROBATICS" Crash Course. This means exactly what it says - these are difficult moves that involving lifting and aerials. Definitely take it if you have had acrobatics before, but DO NOT take it if you are new to Acrobatics. This course is specifically for people who have had our 4-week courses in the past.
The party does a great job of recapturing the Sock Hop Happy Days feel of the 50s. Circle June 22 on your Calendar!
ANOTHER TESTIMONY TO THE POWER OF SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE
Most men understand the effect dancing has on women. It warms their hearts. This is not folklore, it is fact. Every man should learn how to dance. This gives you a tremendous advantage over the men who don't when it comes to meeting women. It is common knowledge that the most effective way on earth to break the ice at a party with an attractive woman is to go straight up to her and ask her to dance.
It turns out that former President George Bush met his future bride-to-be in exactly this fashion. In the May issue of the Continental Airlines Magazine, Mrs. Barbara Bush wrote:
"I first knew George was the most articulate man I had ever met way back in 1941. I was sixteen, he was seventeen, and although we did not know each other, we were attending the same Christmas party. When he walked across the room and asked me if I'd like to dance, they were without a doubt the most brilliant words I had ever heard
BRAIN TEASER I: WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?
Contributed by Jane Downs
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.
Here is the question:
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.
What would you do?
The unique solution posed by the candidate is listed further below. It is very clever.
THE SSQQ CARIBBEAN CRUISE
August 25 - September 1
Developments at a glance:
1. WE ADDED 20 PEOPLE LAST MONTH.
2. WE NOW HAVE OVER 50 PEOPLE.
3. OUR LADIES WANT MORE MEN TO JOIN!!
4. THERE ARE A FEW CABINS LEFT
SSQQ has scheduled a 7-night Caribbean Cruise on Royal Caribbean's 'Rhapsody of the Sea'. This year's trip will set sail the last week in August 2002. We will depart from Galveston for adventures to Key West, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel.
We currently have 54 people who have committed to go on the trip. I think we have enough people right now, but it would be nice if we could get some more men to join us!! There are currently 14 more women signed up for this cruise than men. I imagine these ladies would enjoy some company out on the dance floor.
We will be doing a lot of dancing. For starters, there is an elaborate Disco that towers above the ship! Known as the 'Viking Crown', it is a 250-seat air-conditioned lounge with picture perched high atop the ship, allowing panoramic views during the day and serving as the disco at night.
Then there is a 575-seat Lounge known as 'Shall We Dance' (yes, that is correct- 575 seats!!) that has a Ballroom Dance Floor dedicated strictly to Swing dancing, Ballroom music, and plenty of Slow Dance and Romance. And how hard do you think it will be to persuade them to play any kind of music we want after we show them what we can do??
Alright, guys, it is time for me to have a serious GUY TALK with all of you single men.
If there is some way you can get yourself on this trip, then you should do just that in the flick of an eye. Cruise Trips are unbelievable opportunities to find romance. I happen to know exactly what I am talking about.
If you don't believe me, just to get in the mood go rent 'An Affair to Remember' with Deborah Kerr and Cary Grant, the classic love story of a wonderful romance that began aboard a cruise ship. You will see that a trip at sea renders women wild with spirit.
Then think about the 70s TV hit 'The Love Boat'. This show lasted 9 years!! Yes, 9 years! I never watched it. You never watched it. Someone had to watch it
yes, women watched it. Now you are catching on. Women watched it. They loved this show! Women are all about romance and for some reason cruise ships capture their fancy.
Assuming you have a little more going for you than the average dork, all you have to do is be in the right place at the right time and it wouldn't hurt to smile a little
well, you aren't going to be in the right place if you don't get on this cruise!
A cruise is probably the easiest way to find an adventure of the heart there is. You are with your friends for 7 days and 7 nights. During the day you get to know some of the ladies on the trip. You talk to them at the pool or at lunch or during dance class. Eventually you find the lady that you feel the most rapport with and you ask if she will join you for the dancing later on. The moment you are waiting for is the slow song.
During the evening, you talk, you dance, and you flirt. Eventually the beautiful love ballad you have been waiting for will get played. Now is your chance to hold your lady friend close in your arms and move real slow. As she looks out over your shoulder there is the ocean outside glistening under the moonlight. The music, the ocean, the moonlight, and the dancing will all thrill her. She will be mesmerized! As we all know, Slow Dance leads to Romance.
After the dance, now is your chance to invite this lady out onto the deck. The two of you sip Margaritas under the Moonlight and talk. And talk some more. As
I have already suggested, cruises make women shall we say more
receptive than usual to the chemistry that brews between a man and a
woman. Do not be surprised when this legendary magic potion
works for you as well...
Guys, if you have any sense at all, you will join this trip as fast as you possibly can.
Cruises are about Romance. Don't be cynical - it's true. But someone has to make the first move
The ladies made their move - 34 women are already on board. Now it's YOUR TURN.
Answer the siren call to romance - These women want you to join them.
Don't disappoint them - now is the time to make your move!
Note: If you have a general question about the trip, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org Roommates should not be a problem. We paired off very nicely last year and this year is no exception.
For money questions, room descriptions, rates, and detailed stuff like that, you would be better off contacting Anne Adams.
Phone: 713 957 1705
Pictures of the Rhapsody. This ship is incredible. It looks like a floating palace!
An article from the Houston Chronicle archives by Harry Shattuck that was very complimentary of the Rhapsody. You should read it.
For more information about this year's cruise:
Story of Last Year's Cruise:
Pictures from Last Year's Cruise:
A TOAST TO ME WIFE
Contributed by Anita Williams
A good Irish man, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they
were hitting the Guinness Stout and having a contest at who could make the best toast.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between
the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh that is very nice indeed, John!", Mary said.
The next day Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man
chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night with a toast about you Mary."
She said, "Aye and I was a bit surprised meself! You know, he's only been there twice!
Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!"
ITEMS IN THE NEWS: CLINTON TEES OFF IN STYLE (a true story)
from the May 27 Houston Chronicle
Bill Clinton made a brief stop in Brunei on Sunday, spending the day playing golf at the plush Empire Hotel and Country Club in the capital city of this tiny oil-rich sultanate. He was to attend a dinner hosted by Brunei's ruler, Sultan Hassanal
Bolkiah, before departing for New Zealand late Sunday. In Singapore on Friday, Clinton warned that "terrorists find fertile ground" in poor nations in sub-Saharan Africa and Asia, and that rich states should help lift these countries out of poverty.
He was paid $250,000 for the one-hour speech.
(Editor's Note: Does this story disgust anyone else as much as it does me? And am I the only person who thinks he is getting a kickback for something sleazy he did?
ADULT JAZZ RETURNS TO SSQQ ON WEDNESDAYS AND THURSDAYS AT 6 PM
Wednesday 6:00-6:45 Beginning Adult Jazz Level 1 June 5th-26th
Thursday 6:00-6:45 Basic Adult Jazz Level 1.5 June 6th-27th
The 4-week classes will cost $45
Crista Reuss began her first Adult Jazz Class here at SSQQ on April 10th. She had 12 people the first week and a couple more the next. Since then we have received many inquiries to know if she would continue her program so now you know!
Crista wants to remind everyone to wear warmup pants, tee-shirts, and tennis shoes.
You can email Crista with further questions at Pointe9958@aol.com
NAME THAT DANCE TEACHER
Back in January I was sitting with several SSQQ instructors. One of them said this:
"You know, Rick, I made two New Years resolutions for 2002. I decided I won't say the F word anymore and I won't be late for work. And then I told myself I was serious this time. The next day on January 2nd I overslept. The moment I woke up I looked at the clock and said, "Oh F, I'm late for work!"
MAY NEWSLETTER REVISITED: WHY THE WHOLE WORLD HATES LAWYERS
Written by Rick Archer
Question: At lawyer funerals, why do they bury the body 14 ft deep in the ground?
Answer: Because down deep, they're really good people
I wrote a long article last month about my views on the legal profession.
Andrew Wupper and Rick Lybarger both wrote me very nice letters in defense of the legal profession. They thought I was blaming all lawyers for the sins of the few. Hmm.
For the record, I do not hate all lawyers. In fact I only dislike two at the moment - one is a woman named Golda Jacob who keeps subpoenaing me for a divorce case even though I have nothing incriminating to say about anyone. She never bothers to speak to me. All I do is show up for three hours, sit in court doing nothing, and go home when it appears again nothing is going to happen. Why Ms. Jacob and the jerk she serves continue to subject me to this treatment I do not know, but I will let you know when I find out. The other lawyer is a guy named Rick Butler. You will read more about him in a minute.
If anyone was offended by my lawyer jokes last month, I apologize. I received about 10 letters. Two didn't like what I said about lawyers and the other 8 liked the jokes. In fact our readers sent me three more. The one above was from Ted Jones. Society's animosity towards lawyers is pervasive. Typical of the negative attitude is this email from Bett Sundermeyer:
"A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a month of having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires".
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the intended fashion. The lawyer sued . . . and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire", and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal, the insurance Company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of rare cigars lost in the "fires".
NOW FOR THE BEST PART . . . .
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
(This is a true story and was 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest)"
Bett went on to say:
"FYI: I found this story on Snopes.com. They say it is NOT true after all. I swear you can't believe ANYTHING you read online anymore! Still, it was a fun story especially after reading the Stella Awards. :-)"
"Hi Bett, I have heard this story before too. Isn't it sad the best stories always turn out to be urban legends?"
"Yeah, for ONCE I'd like to hear a revenge on lawyers story that was true!"
So if you are the most unpopular kid at school, do you lash out at everyone for being unfair or do you take a look inward to wonder why the Law is so disliked in our country? It should be a profession that commands respect, but most of us who are not in the biz are disgusted at what seems to be one story of legal abuse after another.
The majority of my wrath towards the legal profession was provoked by Houston's out-of-control Homeowners Associations and the lawyers who feed like parasites off the misery these organizations create. It seems like an enormous legalized shake-down racket to use the law to intimidate people who get on the wrong side of these H/O Associations.
The headline story of course is about Wenonah Blevins, age 83. Ms Blevins is the woman who was forcibly evicted from her $150,000 home here in northwest Houston last year over an $814 delinquency bill to the local homeowner's association which turned around and sold her home for $3,000 to pay her debt to them!!! Now that's our legal system at work distributing justice for you.
Homeowner's associations seem to be the ten-ton bully on everyone's backs these days with their lawyers gleefully pushing people around with the threat of law suits and enforcement.
A legal abuse closer to home was the pathetic story brought to my attention by SSQQ students Bruce and Shirely Kyckelhahn. Bruce and Shirley were attempting to satisfy the intent of their community by installing a mandatory gas light in front of their home. There was no guideline at the time to specify exactly where to put it so Bruce put his light on the corner of his corner lot. This way both the front and the side of his house received light. It was a common sense move that would help prevent crime and give light to anyone parking on the side of his home at nighttime.
The head of his local homeowners association took one look and ordered him to move it about 10 feet so it would be in the center of his lawn. Bruce said no. He liked it where it was and there was no rule that specified where it had to go in the first place. In his words, it was the principle of the thing.
Soon after he received a letter from a homeowners association hatchet man named Rick Butler threatening legal action. The 'extortion letter' as Bruce put it from the association attorney demanded that they move the gas light and pay Rick Butler $200 for his time and expertise in writing the letter.
Bruce stood his ground and defied them to sue. So they did - after many threats and posturing, finally the association sued, saying they had been harmed far in excess of $200 a day. In Bruce's words, this letter is a standard tactic of homeowners attorneys to try to scare homeowners with the threat of financial ruin. Bruce seemed to know what he was talking about - when I first mentioned his story last month, Bruce said he was looking at damages in the vicinity of $125,000 if he lost the law suit!! Already Bruce has paid out more than $4,000 just to fight this frivolous suit. Yes, this story is too weird to be true, but it is completely true.
High Noon was approaching - this case was to go to court on May 25th. Well, guess what? Just days before a judge could finally listen to the arguments, the bullies turned coward and dropped the law suit. After driving Bruce and Shirley nuts for several years, when it came time to put up or shut up, the lawyer - Rick Butler - turned tail and ran. It is one story like this after another that generates the animosity the public feels towards the legal profession.
Here is an excellent article written by the Houston Chronicle's Thom Marshall regarding the incident:
THE GAS LIGHT IS STILL ON THE CORNER
May 18, 2002
Houston homeowner Bruce Kyckelhahn, who was being sued over the location of his front yard light, said the Briargrove Park Property Owners association has dropped the lawsuit.
Kyckelhahn, as you may recall from our original discussion a few weeks ago about his light legal hassle, is a CPA with experience in serving on a homeowners association board before moving a couple of years ago to a home he and his wife had built in the Briar Court subdivision within Briargrove Park.
Kyckelhahn contends that his gas light complied "with the spirit and the letter" of the neighborhood association covenants that require homeowners to install the lights.
What irreparable damage?
As mentioned in that earlier report, I paid a visit to Kyckelhahn's yard for a look-see and found his light location choice to my liking. It is precisely where I would pick to put it if faced with a similar decision, but personally, I'm glad my neighborhood doesn't require gas lights in yards. I prefer electric.
However, the Briargrove Park association contended that Kyckelhahn's light is in the wrong spot and wanted it moved a few feet from the corner of his corner lot to a location more near the middle of his front yard, where it would be aligned with the gas lights in front of other homes on the street.
The association failed to convince Kyckelhahn that he was wrong about where he put his light, and eventually he began to get letters from the association's lawyer, Rick Butler. Legal wheels began to turn. The lawsuit was filed.
One court document claimed: "No amount of money can compensate the present and future owners of the lots within Briar Court Subdivision, for the harmful effect and irreparable damage caused by Defendant's conduct and actions."
Remember, all we are talking about here is the location of a gas light.
Damages sought by the association could have been as much as $200 for each day the light was not moved, plus attorneys' fees. Kyckelhahn estimated the total amount of the dispute was topping $140,000 by the time the two sides met to try to settle through mediation.
Kyckelhahn said he is prohibited from discussing what went on in that meeting, but mediation efforts were unsuccessful. Kyckelhahn and his attorney were expecting to proceed to trial when they learned a few days ago that the association had dropped the lawsuit.
Please keep in mind Kyckelhahn's past experience as board member of an association. He said he believes that associations can do much to preserve property values. However, the gas light dispute and aborted lawsuit have left him with some nagging questions.
"What does this say about the case's merits to begin with?" he asks.
He contends that the suit was flawed because a covenant had been misinterpreted and also because so many other homes in the neighborhood have lights that were not located by the same standards used in his case. Still other homes have no functioning lights, he said.
Kyckelhahn said he plans to try to recover his legal expenses and is reviewing his legal options.
And he is wishing someone could shed some light on the ordeal.
"Why did they sue us? What did they have against us?" he asks. "I would like someone on the board to explain it to me."
One more time I remind you these questions are nagging at a man who has served on the board of a homeowners association. A man who believes that associations can be good for a neighborhood and the people who live in them.
My efforts on Friday to speak with Butler about the dropped lawsuit were unsuccessful as of column-filing time.
Contributed by Chris Holmes
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
When she returned, she told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and 5% are not. He thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion,"
So God called another angel and sent her to Earth for a time too.
When the angel returned she went to God and said, "Yes, the Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving and 5% are being good." God was not pleased.
So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good because He wanted to encourage them. .... give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what that E-mail said....... ?
Uh oh. You didn't get one either, huh?
(Editor's Note: I didn't get one either.)
BEGINNING HIP HOP IS COMING TO SSQQ!!
Michele Franzwa will begin SSQQ's first-ever Hip Hop dance class on Monday, June 3, from 6-7 pm. The cost will be $20 for 4 one-hour lessons.
Michele is a dance major in her Junior year at Texas Tech University. But some of you may know her better as SSQQ's very first Hall Monitor. Two summers ago Michele asked me for a summer job. She wanted to major in dance and wanted to establish a Swing Club up at Texas Tech. She wanted to soak up as much knowledge about social dance as she could before she left.
I had been toying with the idea of establishing the Hall Monitor position. Her request came at the exact perfect time - now I had a face to go with the position. Michele talked a friend of hers into becoming a Hall Monitor as well which is how I met Bryan Spivey. Two years later Bryan is easily the best male Swing dancer at the studio. Any idea who the third Hall Monitor was that summer? Kathleen LaBounty is now my assistant in my Wednesday night Western class. It is very rewarding to see the next generation of great dancers spawning right here at my own studio!
Hip Hop is a form of Jazz and Freestyle dance put together. It is challenging and tiring, but fascinating at the same time. I am just as curious about learning Hip Hop as the next guy. In fact, I intend to take the class. But don't let that stop you from taking it too!
Since this is such a late addition, you cannot sign up for Hip Hop online. We will do walk-in registration on Monday right before class. Dress in comfortable workout clothes.
DON'T PARK ON THE EAST SIDE OF FIRST STREET
Contributed by Dena Jackson
In your recent response to Pat Bradshaw regarding the 'no parking' signs on First Street, you said that to your knowledge although there are 'no parking signs' along First Street, they have NEVER been enforced.
My experience yesterday:
Running a little late to class, I was driving along First Street and remembered that it was "okay" to park on "the other side of the street." I also often wondered why the 'no parking signs' were there. There were several other cars parked there, so I pulled in behind them and went in to class. I returned to my car later that evening to find a parking ticket on my windshield. Looks like the signs are enforced after all.
(Editor's Note: I still have no idea when these 'no parking' signs appeared or why they were put there. I intend to look into this matter further. I am sorry Dena had to be the one to find out the hard way that the Bellaire Police take these signs seriously.)
SSQQ WINS SECOND PLACE IN THE MUD VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT
Written by Rick Archer
On Saturday, May 18, SSQQ took second place at the annual Mud Volleyball tournament out in Pasadena. To quickly put our accomplishment into perspective, there were 116 teams in this tournament. That's right, 116 teams
and SSQQ finished second.
And do not think it was easy either. We overcame extremely difficult weather conditions. We overcame a near-disastrous road construction surprise.
We barely avoided losing our very first match of the tournament. We came from behind twice against the arrogant super-team that was seeded to win our Court Play bracket.
We fell behind 8-0 in the Quarterfinals before making an incredible comeback to win the game. We were essentially told we had no chance in the Semi-Finals - the referee pulled me aside to warn against getting our hopes up because we were going against the best team in the tournament. We also overcame a referee who was so drunk he gave our points to the opponents on two different occasions.
We overcame all these obstacles
only to just barely miss winning in the Finals after an ominous change in the wind. We found we could beat mortals, but when the Gods get involved, maybe it's just not meant to be. I am proud of how well the team did. Our incredible run during the day was quite an accomplishment.
To read the full story, please visit:
|DOOR WAREHOUSE TOWS SSQQ CARS
In February, a half-dozen cars belonging to SSQQ students were towed from the front of the Door Warehouse. Fortunately since then there have been no further incidents.
There was never any warning given that this ruthless policy was to begin.
As the height of hypocrisy, the Door Warehouse continues to park its truck in the SSQQ parking lot on nearly a daily basis. Plus obviously cars belonging to customers and employees can always be seen in our parking lot.
have no shame.
SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE I
Well, guess what, people who met at SSQQ are starting to get married again!!
I received this email from Gayle Luber:
"Steve Mink and Gayle Luber, the M&M's of Halloween '99, would like to announce our marriage on May 19 of this year. We met in Judy's Zoot Suit classes on Monday nights in the summer of '99. We've been together ever since. Thanks for all the dance and joy that brought us together. Still
swingin' after all those years!
Gayle and Steve"
"Well, that's great! Good for you two! I am very pleased for you.
Gayle, did you know I wrote about you in the Newsletter last year? You and Steve were involved in one of the silly events of the Halloween Party - the Haunted House - so I mentioned her in the story although I changed her name deliberately since I did not know how you would feel being identified. Here is the write-up if you are curious. I will be happy to correct it to your name, Gayle, if you don't mind. As you will see, I 'embellished' the story a bit. If you have any details to add or facts to correct, please do!
(this has a picture of Gayle and Steve)
Thanks for telling me about the engagement. I will publish the news in upcoming Newsletter."
"Hi, Rick! Loved the story. Yes, you have my full consent to publish my name as well as Steve's as the boyfriend.
If you decide to publish our news, note that we are getting married THIS SUNDAY, May 19.
Hope to see ya soon. We've been itchin' to put the dancin' shoes back on. Maybe we can make it out to the June swing party. I tell you, we are quite a bit rusty. Gayle"
Congratulations to both!!
SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE II
"Hi Rick. Sheila Gaulden & I (Mike Wheat) met in your beginning country western swing class last October and got married 4-27-02. We look forward to taking other classes at ssqq this coming fall.
I asked Sheila out for our first date one night when some of the ssqq people were meeting at Wild West. We still get together with the ssqq people to dance whenever we can. See you in the fall.
Congratulations to both!!
THE SSQQ JUNE JOKE PAGE IS READY!
We have 27 classic jokes ready for you to read on our June Joke Page.
Here is a wonderful Father's Day story from the June Joke Page that just happens to be true. It is about the legendary golfer Sam Snead who just recently passed away.
June CS 04: Father and Son
Submitted by Rick Archer
Sam Snead is a famous golf player. His heyday was in the 50s when he dominated the Professional Golf Tour much as Arnold Palmer, Jack
Nicklaus, and now Tiger Woods have done since. One of Sam's sons, Chip, was good enough to become a professional golfer in his own right later on. I have heard a rumor that Sam's other sons were named Putt and Drive, but find this a little hard to believe.
One day Sam and his son Chip were playing at the famous Masters Golf Course just for the fun of it. No tournament, no hoopla, no fans - just Father and Son playing a round of golf like millions of other ordinary human beings.
Apparently there is one particular hole on the Masters Course that makes almost a 90 degree turn. Although I am not a golfer, I have heard that a hole with this design is called a "Dogleg".
As Chip was preparing to drive off the tee, Sam asked him to stop for a moment. Pointing to an impressive wall of pine trees, Sam said, "You know, Chip, back when I played the Masters I used take a gamble and loft my drive over those trees. I always shaved one or two strokes off my score and not once did I get burned."
For those of you unfamiliar with golf, this meant despite the fact that Snead could barely see the hole through cracks in the trees, he shot the ball over the trees but directly at the green as the crow would fly rather than down the fairway, turn left, and then hit again.
This idea had not even occurred to Chip. He stopped and surveyed the pine trees. They were tall and majestic. They formed a barrier that in Chip's mind must have seemed just as daunting as the mighty Himalayas themselves. However Chip was not one to recoil from his father's challenge. He was too good a golfer in his own right to back down from a nudge like this.
So he turned his stance and aimed his drive right at the trees. Boom! The ball didn't even come close to clearing the trees. In fact it hit only about halfway up. Frowning, Chip tried again. No better luck. Chip drove for a third time, putting every ounce of strength into the swing. Although this was his best drive of the three, the golf ball hit only about 2/3rds of the way up, knocked a branch loose, then disappeared into a clump of bushes. To think a golfer would try a shot like this in a tournament would be akin to professional suicide.
Disgusted, Chip threw down his driver and turned to Sam Snead who had been watching in silence as his son tried to match his father's feat. "Dad, gee whiz, I know you are in the Hall of Fame, but how in hell did you ever get a drive over those damn trees!!!"
Sam stared at the trees for a while, permitted himself a small smile, then turned to face his son. "You know, Chip, now that I look at those trees, I bet they weren't quite as tall back when I was playing."
BRAIN TEASER II - WHICH IS THE SAFEST ROOM?
Contributed by Patty Jones
A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him? (Answer below)
JUNE VOCABULARY WORD OF THE MONTH - ADJUVANT
Contributed by Jane Downs
ADJUVANT Adjective: Helping; helpful; assisting.
Noun: 1. An assistant 2. An ingredient, in a prescription, which aids or modifies the action of the principal ingredient.
Example: I've found that the least likely people prove to be the most adjuvant in times of trouble. Some people ply me with wine and are then
(Editor's Note: I have never heard of this word before, but intend to use it in every one of my classes next month to try to improve my vocabulary. Thank you, Jane!
JUNE JOKE PICTURE OF THE MONTH
Contributed by Rick Archer
This month's picture is about a pregnant lady who found a very creative way to dress for the playoff basketball game!
GONE FISHIN' CAJUN STYLE
Contributed by Chris Holmes
Boudreaux been fishin' down by de bayou all de day and he done run outa night crawlers. He be bout redeye to leave when he seed a snake wit a toad frog in hits mouth. He knowed that dem big bass fish likes toad frogs so he dun decided to steal that
froggie. That snake, hit be a cottn mouthed water moccasin so'd he have to be real carefull like or he'd git bit.
He snuk up behind de snake and grabbed him roun de haid. That ole snake di'nt lik hit one bit. He commemced to squirm'n an wrapped itself around Boudreaux's arm try'n to get free, but Boudreaux, him had a real good grip on his
Well Boudreaux pried hit's mouth open and got de frog and put's it in his bait can. Now Boudreaux knows that he cain't let go of de snake or hit's
goin' ta bite him good, but he had a plan.
He reached into de back pocket of'n his bib over-hauls and pulls out a pint o' moonshine
likker. He pours a couple of draps inta de snakes mouth.
Well that snake's eyeballs roll back in hits head and hits body goes limp.
Wit dat Boudreaux toss's duh snake inta da crick then he goes back tuh
A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumptin tapp'n on his barefoot toe.
Well, he slowly look down and dare be dat water mocassin, and he gat two toad frogs in his mouth.
ITEMS IN THE NEWS - AIDS-INFECTED BASKETBALL PLAYER ARRESTED. NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO NEED TO BE TESTED WILL RUN INTO THE HUNDREDS.
Nikko Briteramos, an 18-year-old freshman at Si Tanka-Huron University, was arrested Tuesday and charged with five counts of knowingly exposing a woman to HIV.
Briteramos, who is from Chicago, remained in jail Friday on $10,000 bail. More than 50 people were tested Thursday, and none had any immediate sign of the virus, Governor Bill Janklow said. Additional testing will be required at three weeks, three months and six months, he said.
One of the people who was tested then gave the names of 70 others who were in contact with
Briteramos, and the CHAIN WILL UNDOUBTEDLY RUN INTO THE HUNDREDS before everyone is tested, Janklow said. For "anyone who has multiple sex partners, it's reasonable to assume that some of those sex partners have had multiple sex partners, and that's how the chain starts," he said.
State Health Department officials said three reports of HIV infection, including
Briteramos' case, had been confirmed in Huron, a middle-class town of 12,000 about 120 miles from Sioux Falls. Authorities allege that Briteramos had sex with the two other people. The AIDS rate in South Dakota is among the lowest in the nation, at 1.1 cases for every 100,000 residents.
Briteramos' infection was detected when he tried to donate blood last month, authorities said.
Fifty sexual partners have been identified from the three HIV-positive cases.
Briteramos, a 6-foot-7 center, could get up to 75 years in prison if convicted on all counts.
"This is no different than pointing a gun at somebody and pulling the trigger," Janklow said.
(Editor's Note: If ever there was a news story that illustrates clearly the dangers of unprotected sex, this is it.)
THE SSQQ JUNE BLUE SIDE JOKES ARE READY!
(Editor's Note: The Blue Side Jokes are one of the great undiscovered secrets of the SSQQ web site. Anyone who is on the SSQQ Registration List is welcome to have access. All you need to do to subscribe is email me from the email address you use to register for classes and request it.
This month there are 17 Blue Side jokes. Below is one of my favorites!)
June BS 03: The Breast Stroke Competition
Submitted by Jill Banta
There was a competition to cross the English Channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, the shapely swimmer replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
THE MAY SSQQ CREATIVITY QUIZ WAS WON BY ALENA OETTING WITH A NEAR-PERFECT SCORE!
Example: What does "12 = I in a F" stand for?
Answer: 12 inches in a foot.
The SSQQ Creativity Quiz has 100 of these clues and you have to decide what they stand for.
Here are the results of the SSQQ Creativity Contest:
1. Alena Oetting - 99
2. Dena Jackson - 97
3. John Purslow - 96
4. Tim Crist
5. Ed Jablonski
6. Eric May
7. Marta Bourke
8. Verondia Nevil
9. Susan Jameson
Our nine players did very well indeed. However I was in awe of the near-perfect score by Alena
Oetting. Very impressive indeed. Alena is a Rice graduate student in their statistics department. She is clearly one very intelligent young lady.
I think John Purslow might have caught Alena, but he had the disadvantage of being from England. By an odd coincidence he was surfing the net and stumbled on our contest.
Here is what his note to me said:
"Thanks Rick; I live in England, in a place called Up Holland, near
Wigan, which is in between Manchester and Liverpool. I'm from Liverpool originally. I came across the quiz via a search engine - I enjoy completing puzzles and so on, and yours looked quite challenging.
I know I got some of the more American puzzles right (I've seen that ice cream one before!) - and with a bit more thought I may have got 2 or 3 more, but never the 34 clue (surely M on 34 S would have been better!). Anyway, I enjoyed it all - no need for a prize :-) competing was enough. Pass it on to whomever was next! If you set any more quizzes, let me know!
John clearly was handicapped by his English (as opposed to American) heritage. He only missed 3 clues and every one he missed was 'Americana' such as Joe Dimaggio's hit streak and the Indy 500 clue.
Dena Jackson's had an equally amazing 97. Her downfall was the biology questions - 9 months of gestation, 32 teeth in the adult human mouth.
And what did Alena miss?
17 a S by J I.
How many of you know what the answer is to that?
Congratulations to all the smart people who took this tough puzzle and nailed it!
WELCOME TO THE ARMY
Contributed by Marla Gorzynski
A Kentuckian entered the US Army and was in his first week of basic training. He lived in the back hills and was not used to the modern amenities.
On the first day, he was issued a comb. On the second day they sent him to the barber to cut off his hair. On the third day he was issued a toothbrush and toothpaste. On the fourth day he was sent to the dentist and they pulled ten of his teeth. On the fifth day he was issued an athletic supporter. On the sixth day he went AWOL.
THE JUNE MONSTER NEIGHBORHOOD PUZZLE CONTEST
Each month we have a Contest of some sort. This month we visit Mr. Dracula's Neighborhood. This is a logic puzzle with some pretty creepy characters.
On one side of a very unusual street, along a certain block on Terror Avenue, there are five very rundown haunted houses which are painted Black, Orange, Blood Red, Gray, and White. Now the owners of these houses are Frankenstein, Dracula, Witch, Ghost, and Psycho. Their occupations in no particular order are night watchman, undertaker, psychotherapist, hit man, and terrorist. Your job using the clues is to sort out the color of each house, who lives there, and what their day job is without losing your head or getting nightmares... Enjoy!!
The first seven people to answer the puzzle correctly get a free Practice Night and a free Party at the studio in July!! Plus we will tell the world how smart you are in the next Newsletter!
THE VENUS MARS QUOTES OF THE MONTH
God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for
her first question.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished...
(Thank you John Anderson for the first quote. The second one is anonymous to protect the contributor's marital status.)
BRAIN TEASER I: WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?
The moral question is who do you give the ride to, the woman who appears to be in danger of dying, the old friend who once saved you, or the potential love of your life? What would you do?
One person had this very creative solution.
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."
BRAIN TEASER II:
The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
AND THAT'S A WRAP!!
As you can see, the SSQQ Newsletter is mostly written by people just like you who send stuff in. If you have any comments, suggestions, requests, complaints, jokes, pictures or poetry to share, please send it to me, Rick Archer, at
And thanks for reading all the way to the bottom!
. I might add I do have reason to believe some of you simply scroll to the bottom to look for any little surprises I hide down here. ;-) Anyhow, thanks to all for making it this far!
And one last thing - don't park in front of the Door Warehouse.
SSQQ Dance Studio