|Our trip on Day 4 to the Cayman Islands might be best
described as a trip to Fantasy Island. There appeared to be no poor people on this island.
There were no homeless people on this island. No one is allowed to live on this island
unless you have a job or lots of money.
Indeed the lady who sold us our postcards and
t-shirts seemed quite talented. She zipped around her computer with lightning speed and
dexterity. Her accent was precise, her vocabulary impressive. I compared her to the poor
sales people I had met at Cozumel who spoke about 2 phrases of English : "hey amigo,
you wanna buy a t-shirt ?" or "Senor American, you wanna buy tequila?"
Cozumel didn't ring all their sales on computers either. Every shop in Cayman had a
computer. I got the feeling one sales lady wanted to check the current relationship of the
US Dollar to the Cayman currency to see if she should charge me another 4.25
Their postcards are weird. They don't sell photographs. Every postcard is artwork. Are
cameras not allowed on this island ? Are there wealthy drug dealers, fugitives, and
international financial scoundrels who fear getting their picture taken ?
Remember the movie "Stepford Wives" where everyone behaved and smiled all the
time ? Well, everyone smiled and acted bored and polite on Cayman. The sales people
were so blissed out they didn't seem to care whether you bought something or not.
Another weird sight was the boat bringing in palm trees and tropical plants. This is a
tropical island, mind you, and they import tropical plants. I don't get it. I guess
growing them would take too long.
Plus everything is owned by Kirk. Who is Kirk ? Is this an episode from Star Trek ?
Ricardo Montalban was the star of "Fantasy Island" and also appeared
with Captain Kirk in a Star Trek movie. Do they own this island ? Did
Spock do a Vulcan mind zap on all the natives ?
It was just sort of strange coming to a place where even the sales people appeared to
be wealthier than the visitors. This place gave me the creeps.
Sam, Judy, and I joined Virginia and Garald McEathron for a submarine trip to bottom of
the ocean. We were treated to a spectacular view of the ocean floor complete with colorful
fish, coral reefs, and huge barrel sponges.
We actually went down to the 100 foot depth. There we noticed the floor of the ocean
disappeared. The captain of our submarine told us what we were seeing was an abyss. In
other words, the Cayman Islands are the top of a vast underwater mountain. All the coral
grows on the side of the mountain. Where the mountain ends, the ocean becomes extremely
deep. The captain asked if we wanted to visit the bottom of the ocean. He said he would
have no trouble getting us down, but doubted we could come back up. We politely declined.
Then wouldn't you know it, a perfectly nice trip was ruined when this stupid octopus
attacked us. I was hoping to be a little afraid, but I was really disappointed. You would
have thought he was trying out for a part in a movie the way he thrashed and
splashed about. What a ham. The Captain yapped on and on about what danger we were in,
then took a picture. The octopus actually stopped thrashing and tried to pose. It is the
stupidest thing in the world to watch an octopus try to smile. I was so embarrassed. Then
as if on cue he just swam away. I've seen better octopuses than that at your average
neighborhood water ride park. Ho hum. Sam wasn't afraid either, but she was still
plenty worried about Mr Crocodile waiting for her back on the ship.
Perhaps the sorriest part of the trip occurred at the so- called Sting Ray City. Here
are a bunch of killer sting rays who sold out just like Mr Octopus and went
Hollywood ! Instead of going around stinging people like they are supposed to, now they
act like a bunch of trained seals and float around brushing up against all these tourists
who jump in the water to hug a sting ray. Then they throw them little sting ray yummy
treats and go back on ship and brag about how brave they were ! What a crock ! We all know
the silly Willy whales sold out a long time ago and so did the dolphins, but now we
have the octopus and the sting rays. I can just see a bunch of sharks throwing in the
towel and doing Broadway with the "West Cayman Story" starring the Sharks
as misunderstood ocean predators with a sensitive side. What is this ocean coming to
Then to make things worse, back on the ship all the ladies were going oooh and
aaah about how some sting ray brushed up against them and how it tickled and how soft it
was and how they "kind of liked it" and how they got all "warm"
inside. I just shook my head in disgust.
What a strange trip this has been.