One of the nice
things that happened on the trip were our daily dance lessons. The SSQQ Cruisers were
terrific at helping me teach the line dances to people from other parts of the country. We
had 30 people participating at various times. Maureen and Judy taught Swing dancing one
day and the class was very popular. Apparently Swing dancing isn't just popular in
Houston. Several people on the ship from other states talked to me about how interested
they were in Swing dancing. Everyone thought I worked for the ship. One guy handed me his
ship charge card and asked me to get him a drink at the bar. There were all kinds of
people on this trip.
Here is a picture of Maureen and me doing the Four Corners. Also in the picture are
Joanne, Renee, and Charlotte. You probably can not tell from the picture, but that is the
entire dance floor. There is not one more inch behind the last row of people. There is a
stage directly in front of me. I would imagine the floor was perhaps 200 square feet, less
than half the size of Room 5...our smallest room. The Cruisers wanted to dance so badly
! They were desperate for the chance at a Whip or a Western Swing, but alas
disappointment was to be their fate.
Here's a picture of Gary and Maureen practicing their Swing dancing. Gary misbehaved
every day, but he was incredibly clever about it. He doesn't sleep very much so he was up
at all hours of the day roaming the ship in search of mischief. I would listen to him tell
me a story he had heard from someone he said he talked to at 4 am. 4 AM !!
Another time during breakfast I saw him sit at 3 different tables and flirt with the
ladies from each one. I assumed he had a girl friend on every deck, but after he squealed
on Alyssa (see Day 5), I was sworn to complete secrecy.
The entertainment on the ship was very good. The magician was excellent, the comedian
("just let it go") was excellent, and the singers were excellent. One night Dan
Stapleton, the magician, managed to pickpocket BJ and unbuckle Gary's belt. Later he
completely pulled off Bill's shirt as he walked off the stage. I am still convinced
Gary and Bill were in on the act, but I was so intrigued I went back for the second show.
This guy from Arkansas was completely looped. When the magician unbuckled his belt though,
the man's pants fell to his knees ! The man had recently lost about 50 lbs, but
didn't have his pants taken in. Those were some pretty cute boxer shorts he had on !
Apparently everyone from Arkansas has trouble keeping their pants on. Sad Sad Sad.
One of the trip's highlights was the Lip Sync Show. Renee Risinger got a terrific tan
on the trip and was absolutely terrific as Tina Turner (please see picture above).
Our own Joanne Spuck was terrific as she imitated Connie Francis singing, "Where
the Boys Are". Joanne's daughter Allison is a performer at Astroworld and let me tell
you I know just where daughter gets her skills. Joanne stole the show ! Earlier she
had lined up several young studs to be in her act, but they no-showed on her and she was
forced to ask Marty and I to be standins at the last minute. Later we found out the studs
had been staring at themselves in the mirror down in the weight room and locked up in a
trance. The Lip Sync director chose me to be the first guy to go out. I was quite pleased
till I found out that the wimp goes first. Geez.
Still I thought I was hot until Marty was carried out there. When he saw Joanne, he
started ranting, "Mermaid ! Mermaid !" He got so excited he lifted Joanne off
her feet ! The crowd went wild. No one even noticed me anymore. I kicked Marty in the
butt, but he didn't feel a thing. Boy, was I ever upstaged !
Later my daughter Sam was in the Beach Boys "Surfing Safari" Lip Sync show.
She was a surfer girl because of her long hair. Sam was up there doing the Swim and the
Watusi when to her complete shock Mr Crocodile came onstage and bit her in the behiney !
You have never heard such a scream since Marty saw the Mermaids ! It turned out that Mr
Crocodile is the pet of the captain and has been in this act many times. He didn't hurt
Sam, but he sure did growl at her ! Boy was she ever scared ! After it was over, Sam was
shocked at the trick that had been played on her, but fortunately Mr Crocodile's bark
turned out to be worse than his bite.
Later we had our big dance. See the picture of it. This was the worst dance I have ever
been involved with in my life. There was one deck where there was room enough to
dance, but there was no plug for the boom box. The area next to the pool had a plug, but
someone had just hosed down the deck. It was dripping wet. The dance area was so small we
had to do the Cotton-Eyed Joe two by two because there wasn't room between the poles for
anyone else. To make things worse, it was hot ! Everyone knows the Calypso - Reggae
Caribbean-style song, "Hot ! Hot ! Hot !" and everyone thinks it is a great
song. Maybe so, but when you are dancing outdoors in a muggy, windless sea at 90 degrees
out, it really isn't fun to be "Hot Hot Hot". I was absolutely dripping wet. Now
I realize these pictures are not easy to see, but there are no smiles on those faces.
Merely the sadness of 30 Cruisers who had hoped to do some dancing on the trip. SAD SAD