MYSTERY OF THE TEXAS TWOSTEP

CHAPTER EIGHTY THREE:

CHARLOTTE

Written by Rick Archer 

LIMBO MONTH SIXTEEN
OCTOBER 1980

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH
 

Victoria laid low during the Eviction-Exodus Ordeal.  Her interest in me had been briefly resurrected during my June hospital stay.  It lasted through July, but she began to drift away again in August.  Her lack of interest caused me to take a trip to Acapulco with the intention of clearing my mind.  Sad to say, meeting Isabella made things far worse.  I have talked repeatedly about my continual good luck with my career.  Do you suppose my terrible luck with women was meant as a counter-balance?   Is it possible that the Universe imposes a limit on how much good luck a person can have? 

I spent all of September in mourning over my missed opportunity in Acapulco.  Why couldn't I meet a woman like her in Houston?  After Isabella stole my heart, I had not been the same since.  The memory of my strong connection to this Mexican beauty served to make Victoria's romantic tether more unbearable than ever before. 

Regarding my Eviction, Victoria was sympathetic.  However, she also pointed out her problems were just as big as mine.  In other words, I was on my own.  Feeling abandoned, I yearned to find a companion who was truly committed to me.  I was also upset because any chance of freedom from Limbo Captivity had just gone out the window due to the move.  When Victoria learned we were headed to Dance Arts, she was ecstatic.  Victoria and Glen had been best friends back in the Disco Era.  Now she was thrilled to be reunited.  Was it my imagination or was the Sunshine side of Victoria starting to return?  Feeling secure in this environment, Victoria acted like she owned the place.  Now that Glen was around, Victoria could see herself really fitting into the studio again. 

"Gosh, maybe I should start taking private lessons with you again, Rick!  After the divorce maybe I will pursue a career as a dance instructor."

Not if I had any say-so.  Victoria had not been much help during the Western Era.  She preferred not to get involved in the business end.  She showed up to teach classes, but usually went straight home.  However, she did make time to go dancing with me about once a month.  Yes, in case anyone is curious, our night of dancing typically coincided with my monthly ration of passion.  

It was smart of Victoria to make time for this activity.  Lately I could not get that damn vixen Ammonia off my mind.  Victoria amplified my longing for Ammonia with her apathy.  Our once-nightly phone calls were sporadic now.  It wasn't like Victoria came right out and made a declaration, but her heart was not into me during this new phase.  Once the excitement of seeing Glen subsided, Victoria resumed her slow withdrawal from the day to day workings of the dance program.  Victoria's main focus was her therapy.  She was still coming to grips with her emotional breakdown a year ago.  She stayed busy as a full-time Mom while continuing to work out compromises in her uncontested divorce settlement.  As always, she lamented her complicated relationship with her soon-to-be divorced husband Michael.  With all her problems, Victoria was content to show up at Dance Arts and teach two nights a week.  I did the rest.  Victoria's obvious loss of interest in the dance program left me quietly optimistic.  Now that my unfortunate stay at the hospital was four months in the rearview mirror, I could see my ability to hypnotically bore this woman to death had resumed its effectiveness.  However, this passive approach was taking way too long.  Losing patience, every day I asked myself if I should just tell her it's over.

Oddly enough, my October 1980 move to Dance Arts coincided with the one year Anniversary of the disastrous 1979 October Doorstep Night and weeklong U-Turn event.  Victoria was well aware of this dubious anniversary.  Victoria told me she had brought the subject up in therapy.  After listening to Victoria's tale of woe complete with copious tears and hand-wringing regret, her therapist Charlotte had suggested perhaps it was time to consider patching things up with her husband.  Charlotte said it was never too late.  Victoria stared in shock at the woman for a moment, then slowly nodded.  Perhaps that really was the best path to take. 

My eyes grew wide when she told me this story.  This was the best news in ages.  I might actually receive my prison release any day now.  One year ago I had made the mistake of letting this woman walk into my home.  Although I still felt tricked into having this Affair, my hands were hardly clean.  After all, prior to Doorstep Night I had suggested Victoria move in with me on several occasions.  Ever since then, I had paid a heavy price for my mistake.  This foolishness had cost me Jennifer, the woman I wanted to marry.  It had also cost me my romantic freedom this entire year.  Here on the one year Anniversary of my captivity, I was more than ready to be released back into the wild.  If Victoria was serious about patching things up with Michael, perhaps the end was nigh.

Although I preferred not to celebrate the anniversary, I did take time to reflect.  Nothing had happened to dispel my conclusion that Doorstep Night was an act of Fate.  Given an entire year to review the events, I still felt I had been manipulated by forces beyond my control into having sex that night.  Once we became 'lovers', Victoria's control over me was strengthened.  After Victoria moved out of my house at the end of U-Turn Week, she had turned in a vicious monster who threatened to destroy everything I held near and dear. 

"Madame X leaves now!  And if you ever cross me again, I will take down your entire dance program."

That period lasted all the way to Christmas.  Then came Kramer versus Kramer.  Victoria reacted to the Meryl Streep role in the movie as if she had been slapped in the face.  Overcome by guilt and grief, she asked me to help her get through her despair.  I would have said no, but once Jennifer slammed the door shut, I had a sneaky feeling God preferred that I attend to Victoria.  Throughout 1980 Victoria had behaved as if she owned me.  But she also kept Michael on a string as well.  It was hard to believe Victoria kept us both dangling for an entire year with her constant manipulation, but it was true.

Considering how indecisive Victoria was, she had no idea which man was best for her.  Victoria pretended it was a toss-up, but in truth I knew she was only serious about Michael.  Throughout 1980, I had been little better than an afterthought.  For an entire year I just drifted along.  A couple times I thought she might set me free, but something would happen and Victoria would invariably reel me back in. 

Once Jennifer departed, my dance program was the only thing that mattered.  The dance program was my child and identity wrapped into one.  At all times, my eye was on the prize.  Victoria did not have a legal claim to my dance program, but she did have a spiritual claim.  Therefore I wanted to gain undisputed ownership of my program without using force.  I wanted Victoria to hand me the studio of her own free will.  To do this, I had to sacrifice my freedom and continue to appease her.  I knew the day would come.  I just didn't know when. 

The more Victoria worried about losing her daughter and wondered what to do about Michael, the less interested she was in me or the World of Dance.  Good.  Let's keep it that way.  I played a cynical game called 'Nice Kitty'.  Staying on my best behavior, I absolutely refused to give her Snarling Tiger Woman personality the slightest reason to reappear.  It was working!  Here on the Anniversary, barring another Hospital incident, Victoria was almost asleep again.

As much as I hated losing Disco, it was a blessing that Victoria found Western to be a giant bore.  It seemed to me if I played the waiting game correctly, the day would surely come when Victoria would call it quits and fade away.  I chafed at being Victoria's occasional boyfriend, but understood I was doing this by my own choice.  She was, after all, my friend and I did care for her.  However I steadfastly refused to fall in love with her.  I simply went along for the ride and did whatever Victoria told me to do.  The less I struggled, the less she paid attention to me.  My Nice Kitty appeasement strategy seemed to be working.  Thank goodness.  I never wanted to see another one of Victoria's Blackmail threats as long as I lived.

UNLUCKY LUCY

The last contact I had with Michael had taken place in May 1979.  One night I caught Patricia, my girlfriend at the time, with another man.  I was waiting for them in her apartment when they returned from a date.  Handing her the key, I left without a word.  Infuriated at being caught, Patricia went Scorched Earth and phoned Michael to report that I was sleeping with Victoria.  This was a bald-faced lie, but Victoria had been alone with me enough times to lend an air of possibility to the accusation.  After a desperate phone call from Victoria, I went over to their house and reassured Michael face to face there was no truth to Patricia's lie. 

Since then, I had to take Victoria's word on Michael's movements and state of mind.  Given her tendency to fib, anything I say about Michael is hearsay at best.  I suppose Michael was in a Limbo of his own.  After Michael moved out of the house back in November, he tried to move on.  Earlier this year in February, Michael had announced to Victoria he had a girlfriend named Lucy. 

That froze Victoria in her tracks.  Victoria always wanted what she couldn't have.  Predictably, Victoria went nuts over the thought of losing Michael permanently.  Michael's decision to find another woman affected Victoria the same way as the threat of Madame X.  Predictably, the threat of Lucy caused Victoria to flip her lid.  Victoria began to harass Michael with phone calls and random visits to his nearby rented house.  Victoria meddled so incessantly that the poor woman got fed up with the interference.  Lucy told Michael she was leaving.  She added that Michael was welcome to call her again if he ever got the divorce, but until then, please leave her alone.

The weird thing is that Victoria told me all these details.  I could not believe Victoria confided in me like this, but who else was she going to tell?  I was the best friend she had at moment.  I must say, it was bizarre being theoretical boyfriend to Victoria and Dear Abby at the same time.  Yes, Victoria actually told me how much she missed her husband.  It never seemed to occur to her that some of the things she said about her love for Michael hurt my feelings.  It was awkward being Victoria's boo hoo buddy, but I took her unintentional slights in stride.  I knew Victoria was much too disturbed to see beyond her own problems.  Listening carefully, I realized Victoria cared a lot more about Michael than she wanted to admit.  Just the fact that she had chased off Michael's girlfriend Lucy spoke volumes about her true feelings. 

Over the course of 1980, I continued to feel protective towards Victoria.  I cared for her even when I hated her.  The move to Dance Arts did a lot to heal our wounds largely because Victoria felt so secure there.  Since Glen never used his office at night, he gave us permission to sit on his couch whenever we needed to talk in privacy.  Car Talk became Office Talk.  This served to replace Victoria's midnight phone calls.  These quiet talks late at night helped us to become friends again.   Victoria was a lost soul who needed a shoulder to cry on.  With every passing day, the odds of any sort of romance between us grew more remote.  For example, one would assume sitting on a couch in a private room late at night would allow sparks to fly.  Nope.  Never happened.  Not one smooch.  

Although my main role was to act as a security blanket and sounding board, I also remained Victoria's occasional lover.  As I reported, Victoria invited me to her house about once a month.  I never initiated these encounters, but I never turned them down either.  I had no idea what prompted these random invitations nor did I ever see them coming.  I chalked it up to loneliness.  Victoria needed someone to hold her in the dark and reassure her.  After an hour or so of Moonlight Delight, I would head home.  I never spent the night and I never made anything of it.  I knew better.  I was fond of Victoria, but refused let my guard down.  Due to our turbulent history and my trust issues, I never entertained any thoughts of getting together.  I doubt Victoria did either. 

That said, she continued to insist I stick around while she sorted things out.  This was one weird woman, let me tell you.  Fortunately, thanks to a lot of practice, I had learned to protect my heart.  By maintaining my invisible wall, I managed to play my roles with a certain aplomb... boyfriend, boss, escort, lover, lackey, confidante, security blanket.  I will say, however, that when Victoria told me the story of how she chased off Michael's girlfriend Lucy, I nearly lost my poker face and gasped aloud.   I remember Victoria's look of pride when she announced that she had managed to chase off her rival.  From what I gathered, apparently the poor woman was terrified of Victoria.  Michael had told Victoria that Lucy had left his rented house in tears screaming for sanity. 

I kept my mouth shut, but I was actually giggling.  So Michael had been dumped by his girlfriend thanks to Victoria's shenanigans, eh??  Gee, where have I heard this story before?   Welcome to the club, Michael!  As I smiled at the irony,  I could not help but think back to Victoria's reign of terror in 1979.  Recalling how Victoria's interference had caused me to lose Joanne, Patricia, and Jennifer in the space of one year, this was like looking in the mirror.  I was dying to compare notes.  If I didn't believe Michael would punch me out on sight, I would have loved to share a beer with the guy. 

After Lucy left, Michael was mad.  Fighting mad.  Michael could not believe Victoria's latest stunt.  He liked Lucy a lot!!  First Victoria had screwed up their marriage with Disco dancing.  Then she had an affair with me.  Since then she had spent month after month driving him crazy with her indecision.  She made it impossible to live in his own home, thereby forcing him to leave his daughter behind in the process.  Now Victoria had the nerve to chase off his girlfriend Lucy for no good reason.  Well, enough is enough.  Losing Lucy was the last straw.  Michael was so profoundly irritated, he finally decided to sue for divorce.  The court date was set for sometime around February 1981. 

When I heard that Michael was headed for the Exit Door, for a second there I was more than a little frightened Victoria might choose to rekindle our romance.  I need not have worried.  Victoria never once looked my way.  Michael's decision to sue for divorce sent Victoria into a tizzy.  By acting unavailable, Victoria was suddenly fascinated with her husband again.  She returned Michael's fury by unleashing Snarling Tiger Woman on him.  To her surprise, Michael fought back with angry bear claws of his own.  Victoria was shocked at the intensity of his anger.  Whatever happened to mild-mannered, easy-going, reasonable Michael?  Not any more.  Michael was furious!  And with good reason!  He had done nothing even remotely bad to deserve having his wife ruin his life.  No more Mr. Nice Guy.  Roaring with anger and passion, Michael wanted OUT... and Victoria knew he meant it.  Did Victoria take the hint and step aside?  Hell no.  Shocked at her separated husband's show of backbone, Victoria was secretly delighted.  Victoria became obsessed with reasserting her control over him. 

If there was one thing I had learned about Victoria, she operated like a Chinese finger trap.  The harder I struggled to free myself, the harder it was to extricate myself from her clutches.  Now Michael was learning the same thing.  I decided the only possible way to get rid of Victoria was to not to struggle, but rather bore her to death and pray her renewed interest in Michael would pay dividends.  Sure enough, now that Michael was a challenge again, Victoria could not get enough of the guy.  Only one problem.  Victoria showed her renewed interest in a fairly destructive way.  After Michael's girlfriend split, Victoria and Michael tortured each other with round after round of recriminations.   Arguing back and forth, they the entirety of 1980 full of anger, full of guilt, and totally depressed.  Victoria said she hated Michael.  Maybe so, but I also noticed Victoria was suspiciously preoccupied with the guy.

Meanwhile I kept out of the way.  In case there was any shooting, I wanted to be well out of range.

OCTOBER 1980

CHARLOTTE

Charlotte became Victoria's therapist in February, probably as the result of the Lucy incident.  Teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown due to her shattered marriage, over the past months Victoria relied ever more on Charlotte to keep her glued together.  Although I never had the privilege to meet the woman, I developed a healthy respect for Charlotte based on what Victoria told me about her.  Charlotte was a real friend to Victoria as well as a much-needed settling influence.  Starting in June, I had begun to see glimpses of the old Sunshine Victoria.  I gave credit to Charlotte.  She was very effective in calming a deeply disturbed Victoria.

I never quite figured out what Charlotte thought about me.  Was I good for Victoria?  Was I was evil in Charlotte's mind?  I often wondered just how much Charlotte condemned me for my part in the Affair, but never found out.  What I did know was that Charlotte insisted Victoria not make any more impulsive decisions such as the Doorstep move that precipitated our Affair.  Typical Victoria, she immediately assumed this advice was perfect justification for keeping me around longer. 

"My therapist told me not to make any hasty moves, Rick.  I love you.  Don't ever forget that.  When the smoke clears between Michael and me, there's a real chance you and I have a future together.  If you were to leave, Charlotte said it would be devastating to the progress I have made in therapy.  Don't worry, I am putting my life back together.  I will be strong enough to choose between you and Michael soon.  Please be patient and be a true friend to me."

I wanted to gag, but never said a word in protest.  Why did Victoria insist on the pretext of pretending she was still choosing between me and Michael?  Due to my detachment, I had more or less inoculated myself to this kind of horseshit.  I simply took it in stride and continued to play my Nice Kitty long game.

Since Victoria was the master manipulator, I never knew just how much of what she said about Charlotte to believe.  Whenever Victoria gave me the impression that Charlotte was gently steering her back towards Michael, I wondered if this was true or not.  I decided I believed what Victoria said.  To be honest, Charlotte's 'give Michael another try' advice stung a little.  After all the crap Victoria had put me through, it was irritating to accept I was little better than chopped liver in the Michael and Victoria Passion Play.  Considering how utterly unimportant I was, why was I being forced to stick around?  In a fair and just world, I should be able to raise my hand and say, "Hey, guys, since I'm not really needed here, can I please go now?"  Dream on.  This wasn't the Real World, this was Victoria's World. 

My other reaction was to agree with Charlotte.  Although Victoria had a strange way of showing it, I truly believed she loved Michael.  For crying out loud, I had been trying to tell Victoria that Michael was the answer for an entire year.  God forbid Victoria should listen to me.  However, I was relieved to hear that Victoria was at least willing to listen to Charlotte.  I set aside my bruised ego and heartily supported Charlotte's sentiments in conversations with Victoria.  The important thing was that Charlotte had performed a miracle of sorts by getting Victoria to settle down and commence a self-exploration journey.  I could see Charlotte's therapy was good for her. 

Charlotte was good for me too.  Once Victoria began to calm down thanks to Charlotte's intervention, this set the stage for Victoria and I to become friends again.  Throughout this time, Victoria continued to teach at the studio on a part-time basis.  Although most of our interaction was business-related, it was nice to see hints of the dynamic woman I had once known reappear occasionally when she taught dance class. 

Shortly after the big move to Dance Arts, there was a crisis in Victoria's life.  One night in mid-October Victoria showed up for work with a long face and red eyes.  I could tell she had been crying.

"What's the matter?"

"Charlotte has cancer.  It's the serious kind, the fast-acting kind people don't come back from.  I am going to lose her."

I was crestfallen.  I knew how important Charlotte was to Victoria.  Charlotte was Victoria's therapist, best friend and life raft rolled into one.  It was almost time for dance class, but I could see Victoria was in no shape to teach.  I reached out and led Victoria into Glen's office for privacy.  Once we sat down on the couch, Victoria burst into tears.  I took her in my arms and let her cry. 

While Victoria wept uncontrollably with grief over Charlotte, I processed the consequences of this terrible news.  Charlotte told Victoria she had no choice but to suspend her practice while she underwent chemo.  Without any warning, Victoria had lost her most trusted friend.  My first thought was a selfish one.  I groaned inwardly.  I knew Victoria would never give me my freedom now that her main security blanket had been taken away.  There was no way I would be getting my coveted release papers anytime soon.  My second thought was overwhelming sympathy for Victoria.  This was very bad news.  Charlotte had announced her illness just when Victoria was showing signs of recovery.  Due to her improving mood, Victoria had talked about patching things up with Michael.  What would happen to those plans now?  This was a huge blow to the peace process, so I worried that the unnecessary divorce was sure to go through.  How was it possible for two people who loved each other to screw things up like this?  Love should not be so fragile (but it is).

While Victoria cried in Glen's office, Miss Moneypenny knocked on the door looking for me.  When she saw what the problem was, I mouthed the words, "Play music in both rooms."  She immediately understood.  This bought us some time.  It took ten more minutes for Victoria to compose herself.  Once she was strong enough to teach, we left Glen's office and went to our classes.

OCTOBER 1980

DOWNWARD SPIRAL

In the days to follow, things went downhill fast.  Without Charlotte as her anchor, Victoria went into an immediate tailspin.  Victoria was absolutely miserable with grief.  She felt grief over her daughter's pain, grief over her husband's fury, grief over her beloved Charlotte's ordeal, and grief over her miserable life.  With no one else she could trust, Victoria turned back to me.  Let's face it, without Charlotte, I was the only person Victoria could lean on.  With a groan, I acknowledged the spare tire had just been called back to duty.  No more second fiddle for a while.  With Charlotte down, I was a player in the band again.  Heartsick, I felt like a prisoner who has just been turned down for parole.  Oh my god, I am never going to get out of this mess!  My lust for that troublemaker Ammonia would just have to wait.  The last thing Victoria needed was the fear of losing me to some new Madame X threat.  Besides, Ammonia did not strike me as the shrinking Madame X type.  Jennifer was so terrified of Victoria, she ended up moving to another city.  Not Ammonia.  If I was dumb enough to indulge in my long-awaited lust, there was no way I could ever get Ammonia to keep her big mouth shut.  Tough break.  Clandestine activity was out of the question.

In my idle moments, I wondered if Victoria realized how lucky she was that I chose to stay by her side.  She no longer possessed any real power over me.  One month ago I had sent out a Newsletter to all my students announcing my move to Dance Arts.  500, maybe 600 students had followed me without a word of protest.  I was their leader, not Victoria.  Back when Disco was important, Victoria had been the Queen Bee.  Not so with Western; my business barely depended on her.  I could replace Victoria in a flash.  Bob Job and Judy Price were more than capable of picking up Victoria's classes and Judy's boyfriend Bill Sampson was ready in a pinch.  Since Victoria only taught twice a week, I estimate at most 15% of my students even knew her by name. 

I wasn't afraid of Victoria any more.  Her Blackmail Threat had lost its power long ago.   In the minds of the students, Victoria was my sporadic girlfriend who taught a few classes.  With the Affair one year in the past, no one had a clue what her real importance was to me.  If I wanted to use force to get rid of her, this was my chance.  Victoria was too broken to fight back.  I suppose I could have turned my back at this point, but I chose not to.  As much as I resented sticking around, I felt honor-bound to stay.  I cared about Victoria too much.  I had helped Victoria make a mess of her marriage, so now I wanted to help her clean it up.   Victoria was not a bad person.  She was mixed up to be sure, but deep down Victoria was a decent woman.  Therefore, with a huge groan, I reassured Victoria I was not going anywhere.   

As I have said, I live my life by two sets of rules, Mystic and Realistic.  Still in shock over my miraculous escape from Stevens of Hollywood, I assumed being given responsibility for Victoria's delicate situation was Karmic.  Take the good with the bad, the bad with the good.  To me, the only way to pay my Karmic debt was to step up in Charlotte's absence.  It was my turn to help Victoria get through this incredibly difficult part of her life.  I realize some people would call me an idiot for sacrificing the pursuit of pleasure, but I had already made up my mind.  I was looking at the Mystic Picture, not the self-serving one.

I realized I was a so-so boyfriend at best, the kind of guy a girl reheats till someone better comes along.  However, despite my lowly status, there was part of my heart that cared deeply about Victoria.  In an odd sort of way, I appreciated becoming important to her again.  I was touched that Victoria had turned to me in her moment of misery.  There would be more instances when I would be furious at Victoria, but most of the time I felt protective.  Accepting responsibility for my role in the damage to her marriage, I vowed to make amends any way I could.  If Victoria needed me to stick around, then I would do so willingly for as long as it took.

I took a deep sigh.  Limbo was well into its second year with no end in sight.