So, what's happening in the SSQQ Jungle these days ?
posted 12-12-99
Brutal Competition III !!
On Saturday, December 11, 16 athletes came
over to my house for an afternoon of spirited volleyball. We had a blast. The weather
threatened to rain, but instead gave a cloud cover from the sun and a cool temperature
perfect for outdoor sports. In fact, we had such a good time no one wanted to stop. We
played for 4 hours, an absolutely unheard of amount of time in sports.
In addition to myself, we had in the first wave
Gillian Tilbury, Ann Bush, Mo Hendrix, Rocky Kneten, Jill Banta, Rodrigo Aranda, and
Richard Weisberg. Then came Glen Hilford, Nacer Sebti, Ni Teoh, and Tom Easley. Later
arrivals included Allen Hoffman, Reza Taherian, and two of his friends. Missing in action
were Marty Shea and Mike Gerstenberger who said they were coming, but clearly got better
last-minute offers.
The truth is we played so many games, I sort of
lost count of who won and who lost after a while. The teams were close and the games were
all competitive. Courage Award goes to Gillian Tilbury. On this same volleyball court 9
months ago, Gillian suffered a freak accident when she ruptured her achilles tendon simply
turning around sharply to chase a ball. I believe this was the first time she played
volleyball since then and I thought she played very well.
Mo Hendrix as usual was outstanding. She is a
terrific athlete. Her business partner in the SSQQ Shoe Store, MoJo Inc, Ms Jill Banta,
also played well. A newcomer, Ni Teoh, amazed us with her spiking ability and tremendous
volleyball skill. She is only 5' 6", but she was able to spike effectively on an 8'
net by hitting the ball right at the peak of her jump. For those of you who don't know
much about volleyball, the timing required to do this is very difficult to achieve, but
she succeeded time and time again at drilling line drives all over the court.
Two people who I thought improved a great deal
as the day progressed were Glen Hilford and Ann Bush. Glen at 6' 3" has the height
needed to succeed at volleyball , but not much experience. However he just got better and
better. His team was the winner more often than not and Glen helped a lot. I just wish I
could stop calling him "Doug". I try very hard to remember people's names, but
once I remember the name "wrong", it takes me a long time to get it reversed in
this old brain of mine.
Ann Bush is also athletic, but inexperienced as
well. At first she looked a little intimidated by all those guided missiles that were
flying back and forth, but by the day's end it was Ann who was attacking the ball as her
confidence grew and grew. She had told me her boss specifically warned her not to get hurt
since she is considered "indispensable" at her job. Naturally she was the only
person to actually take a spill. A ball was hit softly just over her head. She jumped to
try and get it with her fingertips and actually fell over backwards. Fortunately she
landed very gracefully on her backside, rolled backwards till her feet were pointed up in
the air, then rolled forwards and stood up. She smiled at everybody to let us know she was
okay and play immediately resumed.
Goodness, we had fun.
posted
12-9-99
Brutal Competition I !!
On Wednesday evening, December 8th, 3 of SSQQ's
Smartest Dames participated in a brutal head-to-head Super bowl competition to determine
the SSQQ 1999 Champion of Champions. Over the year, three ladies have consistently been
the Best of the Best at SSQQ's various quizzes and contests. Kathleen Alexander won the
Geography Contest and finished a close second in Einstein's puzzle competition. Debbie
Awad won both Halloween contests - the Monster Trivia Quiz and the recent Halloween
Picture Quiz. Karen Alexander found more mistakes than any person in history during a
silly "find the mistake contest" recently (scroll down the page a ways to read
the story if you are curious).
Wednesday evening I found myself in the presence
of greatness. All three lovely ladies were seated at the same table with me pen in hand
ready to take a truly difficult test : The SSQQ Christmas Carol Challenge !!
About 3 years ago someone brought me a page with 24 pictures on it. Each picture
depicted various famous Christmas Carols. I have to admit I was awful. I got about half of
them right. Part of my problem is that I didn’t know very many titles. After
“Frosty the Snowman” and “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”, I was
pretty much a blob. However my memory tells me SSQQ Staffer Marla Jennings was very good
at deciphering the titles. She solved practically every clue.
A few months ago I ran across an old copy of those pictures. I decided to put the
pictures up on our web site for fun. However most of the pictures were badly in need of
some touchup work. One Santa Claus in particular was so poorly drawn he could have easily
been mistaken for Count Dracula, so I decided to substitute a Santa picture from my own
art files. The puzzle was immensely improved. Pleased with my work, I looked for other
puzzles I could improve upon. After upgrading a half-dozen puzzles, I was tempted to make
up my own puzzles !! So I added 16 to the original 24 to make the new total 40
puzzles. I thought it might be fun to let my previous contest winners have a crack at the
puzzle first so I emailed them and all three ladies accepted the challenge.
Kathleen was so pumped for this contest she even heated up some coffee brought
from home in our microwave. Talk about looking for a edge !! Karen seemed the most
relaxed. Debbie Awad just looked plain tired. She is a nurse and came straight from work
wearing her green scrubs. I figured she was ripe for the taking. Wrong !!
Debbie Awad is a Killer !! Let me warn everyone, this lady is very bright. Out of
40 puzzles, she got 27 out of 40 in just 20 minutes. Kathleen was a close second with 24
correct answers. Karen also did well with 20 correct answers. However judging by her
philosophical smile, I think Karen sensed she was up against some Christmas Carol
geniuses. Karen decided to go dance during the half-time break, a decision that probably
cost her an answer or two as Debbie and Kathleen stayed behind to study their puzzles
pages some more. I doubt Karen was very concerned.
Part Two of the Puzzle Challenge included a list of 80 Christmas Carol titles. This
List made solving the puzzles much easier. Debbie got 11 more correct answers, Kathleen
got 13 more correct answers, and Karen got 10 more right. In all, Debbie got 38 of the 40
puzzles in just 30 minutes. Kathleen got 37 of 40 and Karen got 30 of the 40. All three
ladies did quite well. They politely asked how well I did. I was too embarrassed to tell
them how much better they had done than I did originally. Humbug.
Debbie Awad is this year's Champion Smarty Pants. Kathleen was a close runner-up and
Karen did extremely well. Kathleen also provided me with the solution to the Mystery Clue,
a clue from the original puzzle that I had never been able to solve. All these ladies are
so smart ! I am in awe.
If you would like to check out the SSQQ Christmas Carol Challenge, click here.
posted 12-9-99
Brutal Competition II !!
On Sunday evening, December 5th, Judy Archer
and Leroy Ginzel participated in a fierce, brutally contested OATMEAL
COOKIE BAKE-OFF COMPETITION. Judy, of course, had an impressive home court advantage. Not
only has Judy been plying us with her famous oatmeal cookies for the past 10 years at
special events such as the Halloween Party, the Christmas Party, and the Sock Hop, but
also she enjoys a rather high profile as SSQQ's second-in-command. Leroy, the proverbial
outsider who loves to try the impossible, was undeterred by Judy's reputation. Knowing
just how good his own Oatmeal Cookies are, Leroy had the audacity to challenge Judy to a
head-to-head Bake-Off.
Well, history is filled with tales of
underdogs rising to victory. From David and Goliath to the 1969 Joe Namath-led upset
victory in the Super Bowl to the current political struggle of John McCain to overtake
George Bush, America loves the underdog. Leroy was undaunted.
The Cookie Contest took place at Sunday
Practice Night. I personally set out the cookies on two sides of the table. I told about
70 students to put Cookie #1 in their right hand and Cookie #2 in their left hand. I also
wanted everyone to wait to eat their cookies at the same time, but alas I caught about a
Baker's Dozen munching away helpelessly before the official Munch Signal. Tsk.
As the prodigious gasps of delight began to
diminish, it was time to vote for the cookies. Both cookies received generous applause. Of
course they had already received the highest honor : nearly 100% of the people there had
enthusiastically participated in eating both cookies with unabashed pleasure.
As for who won, the answer is obvious. We
the Cookie Eaters did !!! Both cookies were terrific. I might add that Judy brought
home several of Leroy's cookies after the party - he baked quite a few !! A
couple days later I was kind of hungry and I asked Judy where those cookies had gotten to.
Judy smiled and said they were gone. She and Samantha ate them. Leroy's cookies have three
big fans here at my house.
posted 12-09-99
Rachel Wins an Award at Texas A&M
!!
SSQQ Staffer Rachel Seff, Matchmaker
Extraordinaire, Toga Party Reveler, and frequent Grapevine contributor, won a community
service award at Texas A&M recently. I stole this writeup from a TAMU web site :
1999 Harris Award Winner : Rachael Seff '92
Rachel Seff '92 received her BA in Religion and Political Science from George Washington
University in
1991. A native of Westchester County, New York, Rachel relocated to Texas to attend Texas
A&M in
pursuit of her Masters Degree. She received her Masters in Education Administration with
an emphasis in higher education from Texas A&M in 1992. She is pursuing her Doctor of
Education degree from the
University of Houston and is scheduled to graduate in May, 2000.
She is the former Coordinator of Career Services for the University of Houston Law Center
and now serves as the Director of the Elizabeth D. Rockwell Career Services Center at the
University of Houston College of Business Administration.
Rachel has been involved in numerous volunteer activities with the Houston A&M Club.
She has
volunteered with Habitat for Humanity (1997, 1999), International Festival (1997, 1998,
1999), Bevo Burn
(1998, 1999), the Houston Food Bank (1997, 1998). Rachel has also served on the following
committees: Coach's Night (1996, 1997, 1998, 1999), Muster (1997, 1998, 1999), Evening
with the President (1998), and Casino Night (1997). In her part time, Rachel is a
country-western dance instructor at SSQQ.
Editor's Note : I wonder where she
finds the time to work for us here at SSQQ. Nice going, Rachel. Now read the next story
for an insight into the social life of Rachel's friends.
posted 11-30-99
Rachel Seff Shares an Interesting
Story
Rachel Seff, SSQQ instructor and matchmaker
extraordinaire, contributes this tale :
JD Horne is a student of mine from law school. This
happened when JD and several of his friends were out in Austin recently. JD relates the
story in his own words below....
The Absolutely True, and Funniest Damn "J.D. Horne Pick-Up" story of all
time: (please read no further if your sensibilities are easily offended)
I was at Lucky Lounge (a 4th Street bar where exotic dancers and/or similarly beautiful
and shallow women go to meet men) and had been working on this girl for over an hour. She
was absolutely the bomb--way out of my league. I actually only approached her on a dare,
because these guys were talking to these other guys that we were with about how
"fearless" (read: stupid?) I was when it came to girls and that I would go up
and talk to anyone, making me the perfect "point man."
Well, anyway the conversation deteriorated into these guys picking the hottest girl in
the bar and "daring" me to go talk to her. My manhood challenged, I sauntered
over, fully expecting her to laugh out loud at my feeble approach and only hoping that she
would not humiliate me publicly. To my surprise and wonder, she was warm to my approach
and turned out to be genuinely nice and intelligent, in addition to being unGodly hot.
Like I said earlier, I talked to her for at least an hour, with these guys !!! standing
over in the corner in amazement the whole time. So anyway, it becomes time for her to
leave with her friends, so she gives me her card and asks me for my card which I promptly
provided and I went ahead and asked her out on the spot for dinner the next week. She said
yes & then I leaned in for a little swapping of spit--nothing short of ELECTRIC!
I turned and strolled over triumphantly to my minions, shit-eating grin on my face,
while they were literally doing the Sammy Sosa-esque "We're not worthy"
up-and-down flailing of the arms. Sounds like a great story, right?? WRONG!
We're standing there in a semi-circle a few minutes later and I see her from across the
bar stomping, and I mean literally STOMPING, over to the spot where I was standing with
her "posse" of girls. Before I could even say a word, she blurts out (and I
think I'm quoting): "Look here, asshole, the date's OFF and you can stick this up
your ass!" With that, she threw my card at me and stormed out of the building. To say
the least, I was absolutely flabbergasted. What, pray tell, would cause such a visceral
and spontaneous tongue-lashing?? I followed her out of the bar, running behind her like an
idiot, asking her "what happened? what did I do? etc. etc."
She absolutely would not even speak to me. Her and her friends jumped in a cab, and I
never saw her again. I walked back to the bar in absolute bewilderment, wondering what the
hell had happened. Alas, to my ultimate shame, I soon found the answer...
When I walked inside the bar, the six GROWN men that I was with that night were
literally sprawled out on the concrete floor of the bar in absolute hysterics. They had
even recruited curious total strangers who were similarly laughing at me. Upon seeing me,
they broke into spontaneous applause, the likes of which is usually reserved for rock
stars and/or athletes. The reason for the laughter, the applause?? On the back of my card
that I had given to this vision of beauty was the following notation, written down the
previous week from another night on the town:
Amy 476-3323
"BIG TITS"
Just call me "King of Smooth"....
Rachel did not have anything to add, so we will just have
to grin and bear it ! Thank you, Rachel.
posted 11-29-99
BJ and Renee Downs
have a Daughter !
Tammy Pennington reports (Thanks, Tammy) :
Billy and Reneé Downs have a new daughter! Kaylee Ann Downs was
born 11/5/99 at 10:46 pm., 7 lbs. 4 oz., 21".
Editor's Note: Congratulations! Renee and BJ of
course met here at SSQQ. Renee was on the SSQQ Staff for several years until she retired
to prepare for the birth of her first child. Project completed ! This is wonderful
news!
posted 11-23-99
Kimberly and Bryan get
Married !
The lovely Gillian Tilbury sends this in :
Kimberly Meadows and Bryan Thome were married on Saturday,
November 20th and are spending their honeymoon in London. The happy couple met a year ago
on Halloween night. Obviously, Bryan could see right through Kimberly's costume to see the
wonderful girl beneath. Kimberly and Bryan were quite ambitious in planning the wedding,
they did just about everything themselves, including the wedding invitations.
JoAnne Armstrong and Gillian Tilbury were two of the Bridesmaids.
Dennis Taupo was also a part of the wedding party. Mitch Istre DJ'ed for Kimberly and
Bryon at the reception - he has quite a collection of music. Other SSQQ guests included
Matthew Tyson, Thom Downey, Rocky Kneten, Laura Wilde, Randy Goshorn, and Yim Szeto. These
great dancers had the crowd in awe as they tore up the dance floor.
Editor's note : Congratulations, Kim and Bryan !!! And
thanks for telling us about the wedding, Gillian, although we do wish you had added more
about Kim's Halloween costume. Plus a warning for all you single SSQQ people... better
watch out... love is in the air !
posted 11-16-99
Susie
Merrill's Dance Team does Something Exciting !
But nobody knows what it is. click here for story.
posted 11-23-99
Shortest Contest
in History
Day One, Tuesday, November
23rd.
I decided to post the January
schedule on Tuesday, Nov. 23. Judy always tells me I am incapable of proofreading my own
work and I always reply that my mistakes are far and few between. So for the fun of it, I
decided to put a deliberate mistake on the January schedule page. Then I dared everyone to
find the mistake with these immortal words :
Also, to enhance the reader's
pleasure, I am having a contest. I have deliberately added one mistake
on this page. First person to catch it and email me gets a dollar off their next class
plus Glory.
So I drive off to pick up my
daughter from school. Awaiting me when I get home 20 minutes later is this email from
Karen Davidson :
Could it be that the price for beginning Two Step/Polka on Wednesdays in
January was left at 1999 prices? (that wasn't "THE error",
but that was DEFINITELY an error).
Also, a correction for another page is for Volleyball. When you pull up the Volleyball
page it says the game is Nov. 11 instead of Dec. 11. (that wasn't
THE error, but that was a BIG error).
The schedule says the Warm up 4 Christmas party is the 4th.
The calendar says its the 11th. (that wasn't THE error, but that was
an ENORMOUS error).
The schedule says the Christmas party is on the 17th.
The calendar says there's a dance on the 18th. (that wasn't THE
error, but that was a GLARING error).
The Calendar says the Feb. dance schedule starts Jan. 30, but new Jan. schedule says
that's the 4th week of the January classes. (that wasn't THE error,
but that was an error. Sadly I had noticed this particular error myself earlier in the
day, but didn't feel spending 20 minutes adding the month of February just yet to solve
the problem. Instead I rationalized that no one would notice. I never bargained Karen
would notice. Hmmm).
Well, the sad thing is that
Karen didn't even catch THE ERROR. That distinction went to Doug Bates about 10 minutes
after Karen emailed me. However I am not going to tell you what it is - earn a dollar off
your next class and find it yourself. click here
In the meantime, don't ever mess with Karen
Davidson. She humiliated me in this contest. Ironically I was going to post her Halloween
picture today when I got home. It was ready to publish on the Internet. After what she did
to my self-esteem I think I will wait till next week... just kidding. Go see her
picture for yourself. Karen is very pretty. She was in a picture with Deborah Pyle and
Becky Stockinger. click here
Then to add insult to injury, 5 seconds
before I was about to publish her picture on the web page, my computer signaled me I got a
new email. I shuddered. Yes, my worst fear : it's from Karen Davidson. Not again.
I'm back. Okay, I found it.
Friday night Interm. Western Swing Ladies $364
Marla is a great teacher, but for four weeks, that's a bit much.
Karen (Well, Karen, that wasn't "THE error", but
that was DEFINITELY an error. Thank you so much).
So Karen humiliates me with not 5 errors found, but 6.
Some were small, some were huge and pathetic on my part. But Doug wins the contest. Hah,
Karen, nah nah nah ! Take that !!! You still didn't find THE ERRROR. Tsk Tsk. Try a
little harder next time !
And one more thing. Don't bother looking for the errors
yourself. Thanks to Ms. K, I corrected them all. But THE ERRROR is still out there to
torture Karen.
Then, to add insult to injury, just as I was correcting
the spelling errrors in this writeup, Judy called me on the phone to tell me I had listed
the Saturday classes as running from 7-9 pm instead of from 4:30-6:30 pm on the schedule
we took to the printer. I may be able to catch the printer in time or maybe I won't, but
it doesn't matter ...Thanksgiving may only be two days away, but I already feel like the
Turkey. Gobble Gobble Gobble. I cannot begin to relate just how embarrassing this all is.
Meanwhile I have decided to handle my bitterness in an
immature way.
First Twelve
People to Catch THE ERRROR : |
01) Doug Bates
02) Karen Davidson
03) Judith Williams
04) Susan Schroeder |
05) Debbie Awad
06)
07)
08) |
09)
10)
11)
12) |
People who have tried to find
the ERRROR, but who have not succeeded :
1) Karen Davidson (OK, OK, she finally got it, but only after 4 tries)
2) Rachel Seff
3) Tracy King
4) Holly Gracey
5) Lynn Bevis
6) Leo Skiba |
Day Two: Wednesday,
November 24. Karen emails me again. She found “THE
ERRROR”. I am stripped of my last my last source of
pride. That is “THE ERRROR”. Karen probably finds Waldo fast too.
I think I will ask Karen to work for me. Beware the man who hires intelligent women; he is
prepared to let them do great things, then take the credit for it. But I won't have her
assist me; she would catch all my mistakes in class too.
posted 11-24-99
Elvis !
Dolly ! Julio ! Heartbeat ! 10 Great Acts in All !
Our November 20 Lip Sync Show was very
entertaining. The Lip Sync Show was inspired by a show we saw on our Caribbean Cruise back
in the summer of 1998. I laughed my butt off on the cruise and decided we definitely
needed to give it a try here at the studio! This was our third show and it was
pretty wonderful.
To find out what happened and who
performed, click here
posted 11-12-99
The SSQQ Balloon
Race Curse Continues !
Do you believe in curses? No,
of course you don’t. Neither do I. But maybe there is something to curses. When I was
growing up, in professional basketball back in the 60's the legendary Boston Celtics of
Bill Russell and Red Auerbach were supposed to have a curse on the Los Angeles Lakers.
Those Lakers, led by Hall-of-Famers Jerry West and Elgin Baylor, were a very good team.
But year after year after year they always lost to the Celtics. Almost every series went
seven games, but the Celtics won every one of these suspense-filled showdowns. Eight times
in a row the Celtics came out on top despite the fact that the teams were pretty evenly
matched in talent.
That is an amazing story. But
the story of the SSQQ Curse is even stranger. The events from the SSQQ Balloon Race back
in August were so bizarre, it took me four months to come to grips with what transpired.
But now I have finally gotten the courage to write about it. Are you curious ?
Then read what happened !! This story is stranger than any Twilight Zone or X-Files
episode ! And it is all True !!! Click Here
posted 11-12-99
The Floppy
Wizard Computer Store Moves to a New Location
After 17 years, Gary
Richardson and his wife Betty have decided to leave the Memorial City Mall for a new
location at 2551 North Gessner, about 3 miles from their old location. As I write this
article, the store is being moved.
Many of you know Gary and
Betty as the Midnight Waltzers every Friday or you may know them from Death Valley classes
or possibly the Martian Whip classes. Gary and Betty have taken classes at SSQQ for three
years. What you might not know is that Gary has sold 17 computers to SSQQ staff and
students including SSQQ Staffers such as Daryl and Joanne Armstrong, Linda Cook, and
Maureen Brunetti. That is a lot of computers !!
In fact, more than any other
person, Gary Richardson has been instrumental at keeping SSQQ at the very forefront of
computer technology. You see, Gary taught me practically everything I know about
computers. He taught me how to use email. Now I receive and send 50 emails a day. He
taught me how to scan pictures and post them on the web. All those Halloween pictures you
see are the result of training that Gary gave to me in a program called "Paint Shop
Pro" plus a Sony Digital Camera he showed me how to use.
Do you like the SSQQ Party
Posters and those crazy syllabuses that no one can understand ? Gary taught me how
to use "Microsoft Publisher" to create those posters and syllabi. It isn't his
fault no one can understand them.
Gary taught me how to create
music CDs before this was a common-place practice using "Adaptec Spin Doctor"
and "CD Creator". He taught me how to amplify music, change its speed, and edit
the length of a song using "Cool Edit Pro". Gary sold me the technology that
helped create the SSQQ Web Site using "Front Page". Our web site is critical to
our success. It now averages nearly a hundred visitors a day.
And sometime in year 2000 Gary
will probably teach me how to convert our entire DJ system over to the use of computers
and MPEG technology as well. In all, I have bought 3 computers from Gary and I will likely
buy a fourth in year 2000 so Judy and Sam will have an upgrade.
Back in the fall of 1997, as I
got to know Gary, he told me of the many things a computer could do to help me in my
business. The only problem was that I didn't have a clue how to operate a modern computer.
Gary felt sorry for me and said he would help me get started. With that encouragement, I
went ahead and took the plunge. Every day for practically the entire month of November,
1997, I would drive over to the Floppy Wizard and hang out for a couple of hours. When
Gary had a free moment he would help me himself or assign one of his assistants Tim and
Rick to help me. I knew Gary didn't have the time to help everyone like this, but I think
he took pity on me. Slowly but surely I developed enough skills to be able to take full
advantage of my new computer.
More than anything else what I
remember after I took my computer home was the help that Gary would give me over the phone
whenever I would get stuck at home. Many times Gary rescued me from the depths of despair
with a helpful hint that went way past the call of duty. Not one time did he ever lose his
patience with me. I would never had gotten that kind of help from any other computer store
in the city. Gary singlehandedly helped take SSQQ to a whole new level of development.
This in a nutshell explains why I am so grateful to Gary Richardson.
Now that Gary is moving his
store, he has decided to start offering computer training classes. I think this is a great
idea. Now SSQQ students who are lost trying to decipher the mysteries of computer software
can get some much needed assistance from the experts. If any of you have ever struggled to
unlock the secrets of Microsoft Word, negotiate the treacherous territory of Windows
95/98, or negotiate the unfamiliar territory of Email, here is a great chance to add these
highly valuable skills to your bag of tricks. The Computer classes will be held in the
evenings at his store from 7-9 pm starting in December.
For more information, you can
call Gary at 713-461-8660 or email him at floppy@blkbox.com You
can also read more about his store on the SSQQ Web Site if you click here.
posted 11-14-99
Jill Banta wins
the September SSQQ Joke contest !
Jill Banta is our Winner for September with
her joke "Aesop's Fables". It is an interesting story about how an older chicken
cleverly tricks a younger chicken into a big mistake. Jill is no stranger to our Winners
Circle. Although this is her first First Place Victory, she has finished Second two other
times and won numerous RunnerUp and Honorable Mention honors as well over the past six
months. Nice Going, Thrill !
In a three-way tie for Second Place we had
"Extreme Measures" by Bill Mayo, "Texans to the Rescue" by Dana
Pattison, and "Swearing off Women" by Kathleen Alexander. All three were a tad
on the naughty side so they appeared on the Blue Side. "Extreme Measures"
chronicled the sacrifices a young man was unwittingly ready to make for his girlfriend's
safety. "Texans to the Rescue" tells the story of an unorthodox, but highly
effective life-saving rescue for a lady choking to death. Bill Mayo and Dana Pattison are
first-time winners. "Swearing off Women" was my personal favorite this month. It
detailed the story of two broken-hearted men who moved to the Canadian Wilderness to
recover only to discover an unusual new love in their lives. Kathleen Alexander is a
previous winner with her first place joke in May named "Christmas in
Connecticut".
Runner Ups included two excellent pirate
jokes by Chris Holmes plus a clever saga taking place in a Mexican Jail by Ella Forel.
Honorable Mentions go to Patty Jones, Gillian
Tilbury, Kendra Heath, Mary Tyler Moore, and Mike Gerstenberger.
Thanks everybody ! You can these jokes
for two more weeks at this location : September 99 Jokes
posted 11-18-99
Killer Whale Lawsuit Dropped
reprinted from the Houston Chronicle
Tuesday, October 5, 1999
Orlando, Florida
The parents of a man found naked and
dead on the back of a killer whale at Sea World Orlando have dropped a lawsuit alleging
Sea World caused their son's death by portraying the dangerous orca as safe and huggable.
“They voluntarily dismissed the
lawsuit,” Sea World executive vice president and general manager Vic Abbey said.
“this was a very tragic accident that occurred, but as we’ve said all along we
felt the lawsuit had no merit.”
Patricia and Michael Dukes of Columbia,
South Carolina, had filed suit on September 10 seeking several million dollars for pain
and suffering at the loss of their only son, Daniel, 27, a drifter who was found drowned
to death in July in the whale tank. Heavy intoxication apparently contributed to this
untimely event.
Editor's Note : Our legal system has got
to be changed. This loser gets drunk, he breaks into Sea World at night, jumps into the
whale tank, and drowns trying to kiss a killer whale. Then the loser parents turn around
and sue Sea World for millions of dollars, claiming the whale was friendly and huggable.
Didn't these idiots ever see "Orca, the Killer Whale"? Who do they think
Orca is, Barney's best friend ?? And some idiot lawyer agrees to represent
them? What in the hell is wrong with our legal system ?
I think Sea World should sue these idiot
parents for any damages to their park caused by raising a child without a brain. Even
though I am sure the lawsuit had no chance in hell of winning, that doesn't mean that
someone should have the right to aggravate the living daylights out of the Sea World
people. After all, it surely could not have been fun to find what amounts to a suicide
victim floating around in their waters. And I doubt the publicity was very helpful
although some cynics might disagree. I wish there was some sort of penalty for filing a
ridiculous lawsuit like this. Oh, by the way, click
here for Daniel's picture. He makes Charles Manson look loveable and huggable. Don't
you agree Orca the Killer Whale should be allowed to file a sexual harassment suit while
we're at it ??
posted 11-08-99
Julie Adamis and Troy Thornton announce Engagement !
Doug Skokna writes :
There was a recent engagement between two students. Julie Adamis
and Troy Thornton (I’m not sure I spelled Troy’s name correctly) became engaged
on October 30. They met at SSQQ. A wedding is planned for early next year.
Apparently one night in class back in August Julie became ill in
her Beginning Two Step and Polka class. Troy quickly came to her rescue. Soon afterwards,
Julie had Gail Sink obtain Troy’s phone number so she could call to thank him for
helping her. Julie called Troy, and, as they say, the rest is history.
Editor's Note : Congratulations,
Troy and Julie !!
posted
11-07-99
Letty Molina and Patrick
Dougherty announce Engagement !
Gary Richardson reports :
It is official: Letty Molina and Patrick Dougherty just announced
their wedding plans this week. She showed me her ring today. The water has done it again.
Dancing is dangerous to these single men and ladies.
Gloria Carmona writes :
I heard through the grapevine that
....Letty "the Polka Queen" Molina is officially engaged to Lt. Patrick
Dougherty. Man, you should see the ring!!!!!! They plan to wed sometime in the year
2000. Another SSQQ love story !!
Editor's Note : Congratulations, Patrick and Letty !!
posted 10-31-99
Tales from the Crypt
Judy and I faced a mystery last week. Dracula had
been "disturbed". Dracula is a big part of SSQQ Halloween. More people have had
their Halloween pictures taken with Dracula at the studio than any other monster. It must
be because he is so cute and photogenic.
I credit Southern Importers for giving me the idea
to have a semi-realistic Dracula. At their store one year around 1991, they had an
incredibly realistic Dracula one year. People would just line his coffin to marvel at how
realistic the sleeping Dracula looked, only to suddenly flinch in terror as Dracula's hand
would raise as if to grab them. It turns out a policeman who runs security at the store
had wired up Dracula's hand using fishline. From a remote vantage point 20 feet
away, he could wait for the perfect moment to jerk the wire. Screams were not uncommon as
I would shop at Southern Importers. He would certainly have gotten me too, but I was in
such a hurry, I just glanced in admiration and kept on going. Then when I kept hearing
screams I decided to see what was going on. One poor lady really "bought it".
She was just ranting and raving about how great Dracula looked. She had 5 kids with her
and a girl friend. Just fooling around, this lady was actually leaning over the crypt
exposing her neck and daring Dracula to bite her. The policeman's timing could not have
been better. Up leapt that hand and out came a blood-curdling scream that would have made
Janet Leigh proud (her scream in "Psycho" is probably the most famous movie
scream and her daughter Jamie Lee carried on the family tradition in
"Halloween").
I hoped to duplicate this horror magic at SSQQ.
Larry Carlton helped enormously. He teaches shop at a Cy-Fair high school. His teams have
won many state contests under his guidance. I told him about needing a coffin, so as a
class project his students made SSQQ a terrific life-size coffin. Unfortunately for my
purposes though the body proved more problematic. I bought an inflatable body, but the
results were mediocre. Again Larry came to the rescue by bringing body parts to the studio
: arms, torso, head, legs... all held together with stakes. How ironic. Unfortunately the
SSQQ Dracula proved too flimsy to jerk around with fish wire, so over the years we have
been content just to admire the impressive coffin with Dracula lying peacefully in repose.
Judy is the only person with any talent for making
Dracula look good. She "brings him to life" every year. It takes about half an
hour of careful concentration. This year was no exception. So it was with great
bewilderment one Friday when I discovered that our Dracula didn't look right. Someone had
obviously been messing with Dracula. I showed Judy who agreed he had been
"disturbed". Frowning, Judy immediately set about redoing Dracula. Neither of us
could figure out what had happened.
The mystery was solved a few days later as I worked
on the SSQQ Haunted House. My carpenter friend Solomon and his cousin Luis were helping me
put together the maze. As we walked through Room 2, Solomon pointed out Dracula to Luis
and said something to him in Spanish. Luis frowned deeply as Solomon laughed. I asked
Solomon what the deal was.
The story went like this. Every Wednesday night
around midnight Solomon's son Joel cleans the studio with the help of his mother Rosalva
and his sister Dulce. Apparently Joel was sick, so they enlisted Luis to take Joel's
place. Now you need to know the studio is a scary place late at night after the lights are
off. All you have to see by is the eerie glow of the red exit lights. Last year as I was
leaving I glanced over and was frightened to see a man crouching ready to leap at me... it
wasn't till after I had jumped back into a "ready for battle fighting" stance I
realized it was the new standup Wolfman we had just bought for the studio. Hmm. Well, that
didn't stop my heart from beating furiously for quite a while !
Dulce, Solomon's daughter is about 21 and very
pretty. She is very short (5 feet) and very thin. She also has a sneaky side. Using her
mother to set Luis up, Dulce turned out the lights in Room 2. She put a broom right next
to Dracula's coffin, then actually crawled into the coffin with Dracula and closed the
lid. A couple minutes later Rosalva asked Luis to go into Room 2 and get the broom. More
than happy to help, Luis walked into the dimly lit room.
Just as he reached for the broom, Dulce's arm
reached out of the coffin to grab Luis as she roared, "I vant to suck your blood
!!" Luis screamed bloody murder and exploded into a dash out of the studio for
the street ! Rosalva, who was convulsed with laughter, had to chase him outside to
calm Luis down and explain what had happened. Luis eventually pulled himself back
together, but I am sure he visited a place in his psyche most of us would rather not
experience.
posted 10-31-99
The 1999 SSQQ
Halloween Party
The Halloween Party this year was just fabulous. I
would guess we had 200 people in attendance, but that number could be even higher. As
usual the costumes were just fabulous. Just as everyone reports on the dresses at the
Oscars, I think we should comment on the costumes.
Talk of the night centered around Karl Rorabacher
who came in drag. Now men dressing as women at Halloween are fairly common place. For
example, John Anderson always comes dressed as a woman despite his mustache, hairy-legs,
and a walk that resembles Popeye the Sailor Man. What set Karl apart from the rest is that
Karl was possibly the most beautiful woman at the entire party... and there were many
beautiful women at this party. Karl was so pretty I think RuPaul would have been envious.
Everyone who saw him just shook their heads in awe. I certainly did !
Steve came as a Satyr. He had whip scars all over
his back. He described himself as a "Satyr Masochist". Steve looked
incredible. Taught about a hairy guy !
Another couple who caught my eye came as Little Red
Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf in pajamas. Great outfit !
Daryl Armstrong was resplendent as Austin Powers
with his lovely wife Joanne as escort.
There was a stunning Anthony and Cleopatra. I mean,
they looked good !
Andy and a lovely young lady wore beautiful matching
Renaissance outfits. For that matter, there were so many Renaissance outfits it looked
like the entire cast from the Renaissance Festival had decided to hit the SSQQ Halloween
Party.
Jack the Ripper was frighteningly
authentic. I liked the tall lady, I think her name is Barbara Herndon, who came as the
Witch Doctor, spear and all. I was told
her costume took about three hours to assemble (and weeks beforehand!) and about two hours
after to wash off all the makeup!
There was a Latin "Carmen Miranda" couple
who looked fabulous. There was a couple as a Sheik and face-covered woman in traditional
royal Arab attire that was wonderful.
There were many body parts on display. Anita
Williams had a butt so big it appeared on the satellite feed as the eye in the sky passed
over Houston. Sharon Crawford (Dolly Parton) and Marla Jennings had breasts that they
happily displayed to anyone curious enough to ask. There was a guy dancing with a plastic
butt attached to his jeans. Everyone says, "I don't have a costume !!"
Well, next year buy a body part. Or get a hockey mask. Really. Stop the whining. It takes
15 minutes at Target or Southern Importers to buy something. You don't have be the best.
Most of the fun is just participating.
There was a lady with a Hoop dress the size of your
average kitchen. There was a Mermaid with a dress made of turquoise sequins. Theresa,
Daryl's sister, was gorgeous with her pink hair as a girl with a dubious reputation.
Rocky was a Mexican Superstition that goes around
and eats goats. His outfit had a sequined mask and cape with red tights and knee pads for
muscles that would make Conan envious. His sidekick Laura came along simply to explain the
concept of Rocky's outfit which I thought was a hoot. Now we can have one person in
costume who doesn't say anything and another person as a spokesperson. Very creative.
Ben and Diane Liles came as Bride and Groom. Ben had
a ball and chain. He has clearly grasped the concept of his lifestyle change quickly.
Marty and Kim came as the Dance Teacher and Dance Student from Hell. Marty had some
interesting dance suggestions on his shirt and Kim's shirt said, "that's not the way
Ben explained it." Marty had thumbs he was forced to sever because his students
had trouble with the concept "no thumbs". I like that ! Keeping with the
dance theme, Linda and Rad Decker came as dance police to issue citations for fast
dancing, slow dancing, and reckless dancing. Too bad they weren't around the put the man
in jail who decided to dance in roller blades.
Pat Steerman was dressed as a Ghoul. He took a few
turns in the Haunted House. He was so well attired that he looked like a lifeless
decoration... until he suddenly sprang to life !! There are still M&Ms all over
the Haunted House floor from the poor M&M girl who tossed her entire bag of candy into
the air out of fear when Patrick reached for her !!
Other SSQQ staffers in attendance were Timm and
Linda in combat fatigues, Joanne Spuck as Catwoman, Julie Downey in black with
Sunglasses... she said she was movie character. I am sure she will explain it to me next
week. Dennis Taupo I think was a monk, Maureen was a gypsy, Rachel as Elvis, Shannon Iles
as a smooth operator (ER type), Ann Bush as Renaissance???(I forget, but she was pretty
!), Paula Blaisdale as a biker chick, plus Rodrigo Aranda and his wife Nelly as matching
monks. Andrew Gordon, the handsome gentleman who took all the pictures, looked terrific as
a Sultan (nice turban !) along with his beautiful wife Donyce as a Belly Dancer.
Listen, I cannot do justice to all the fabulous
costumes. I have decided to hire a fashion writer for next year's party to carefully take
notes and names. Rocky of course will have his interpreter to explain his outfit and
probably the rest of you might do the same.
Judy and I worked mighty hard on the Haunted House.
It was a labor of love which turned out pretty well. Contributing huge efforts were Anita
Williams, Tom Flaherty, and Aliene Rickard. I think the Haunted House will be even better
next year ! I was walking through the Haunted House when I noticed a really cool
monster that I hadn't see before. I stopped to admire it, thinking I needed to compliment
Judy on her new monster when suddenly the damn thing grabbed me !! It turned out to
be Patrick. So just like Luis, the M&M girl, and the poor lady at Southern Importers,
yes, I bought it too... I screamed !
Wonderful party. I love Halloween.
posted 11-07-99
Ben
and Diane Get Married !
On Saturday afternoon, October 23, Ben Liles and Diane Beasley became Mr and Mrs. Ben Liles III. The crowd went wild !! As bachelors go, Ben took much longer to relinquish
his freedom than most. My guess is his long wait paid off since everyone considers Diane
to be smart, slender, beautiful, and as sweet as any person we all know.
A large SSQQ contingent
was in attendance. The list is too long to begin. Basically nearly the entire SSQQ Staff
was there along with Ben and Diane's family and SSQQ friends as well.
The service, which was
held at Memorial Drive Presbyterian Church, was short and pleasant. Only when the minister
pointed to the lovely stained glass picture of a tree and announced that this tree told a
long story did I have any problems. I kept listening to this amazing long story while
simultaneously staring at this simple tree trying to see even a hint of the minister's
story. Sometimes I wish I had a better imagination.
My daughter Sam sat
with me to avoid the possible Titanic-style flooding of her mother's tears. I too kept a
respectful distance with a flotation device handy if necessary.
Another moment of
suspense occurred after the ceremony when out in the hallway over a dozen SSQQ faithful
played an inspired game called "Name Diane's Daughter". Just for the record,
"Diane's Daughter" was her mother's Maid of Honor. I thought this young lady was
as beautiful as any woman I have seen in recent memory, especially with that smile of
happiness written all over her face out of love for her mother. I made the mistake of
asking someone if they knew her name. Big mistake ! Clarice. Charise. Clarissa.
Sherice. Everyone in the crowd took a stab at misnaming Diane's daughter. Finally using
the method of successive approximations, we made a group decision to call her
"Carice" with a hard "K". "Car - eece". And of course
I haven't a clue how to spell it. Do I have any career as a social writer ?
I drew a couple of
laughs from the group. Memorial Drive Presbyterian Church is where I play basketball every
Saturday morning. Unfortunately the gym wasn't available in the morning, so we rescheduled
our game to 2 pm. Ben's wedding was at 1:30. At 1:55, I walked out to my car, took off my
shoes, coat, and tie, slipped off my pants (discretely off course), got my gym bag out of
the trunk, and walked back through the hall in my gym clothes to the astonishment of the
crowd still assembled arguing about Carice's name.
Diane was absolutely
radiant and so was Ben. He looked very composed considering he took so long to finally
take this step. Goodness. I am very happy for both of them !!
posted on 11-07-99
Karl Rorabacher, an excellent Swing dancer, sends in this item :
Back in September Tessa Vaughn, and I and a couple of friends
went to see the NecroTonz perform at Lucky’s Lounge. (If you think the idea of Gothic
Swing is really weird, go listen to the words of "Mack the Knife" again.) During
the break between sets, the lead singer of the band came over and told us she was really
impressed with our dancing. She asked if we’d be willing to join them in Waco on
October 28 when they were being filmed by Texas Music Cafe <www.texasmusiccafe.com> for broadcast on PBS.
Tessa and I decided that the idea of an all expenses paid trip to
Waco was just too good to turn down, so we packed up our finest Gothic outfits (a Gothic
outfit is any all-black outfit that you normally would not wear in public) and headed out
to Waco on October 28.
The NecroTonz had been wanting about 5 couples there to dance
with them, but we were the only ones who were available in the middle of the week.
(Apparently all the others had been to Waco before and decided to find anything else that
would keep them too busy to be there.) This turned out to be a blessing, since the stage
only had room for one couple to dance amid the band and the numerous wires, monitors, and
other stage props.
The Texas Music Cafe personnel were very enthusiastic about
having us there, even after seeing us dance. We performed a 40 minute set with the
NecroTonz, taking a couple breaks to rest and cool down in the middle.
Texas Music Cafe is a regular program on PBS (11:30 p.m. -
midnight on Saturdays) that features local Texas bands performing original music. The new
season will begin in February. The segments we are involved in will probably air in one or
more shows during March.
I’ll keep you updated as we get more information on when
those segments will air.
Editor's Note : Oh to be young again...
posted 11-07-99
The
Longhorn Jackass
This Story was originally published
back in June, 1999. It was sent in by an SSQQ student via email.
As you know, Tuesday at the Longhorn
is "SSQQ" night. Well, last night seemed like a typical night. Many of us were
there, dancing and having a good time. Then came the whip music. Normally that’s no
big deal. There’s always a little two-step, a little polka, a little waltz, a little
swing, and then a whip set. That’s when I always sit down to take a breather, since I
have had absolutely no whip lessons. None. So I was just sitting, enjoying the rest, when
a guy came up and asked me to dance. "No, thank you," I replied, "I
don’t know how to whip." To which came many "Aw, come ons," and
"It’s really easy". All the time I continued to say "No, thank
you." He then said, "Well why don’t you just let me show you a few
steps." So taking him at his word (what an idiot), I walked to the dance floor. BIG
MISTAKE! First of all, those whip sets are long, and secondly, he proceeded to throw me
around like a sack of potatoes. I mean, he jerked me up, down, over, and under, and I lost
count of how many times my feet came up off the ground! I realize that I’m no spring
chicken anymore, but he would have destroyed the joints of a 20-year old with these moves!
Not to mention all the nasty, sleazy moves he tried. Every time I would try to pull away
from him or tell him to stop he would just laugh and not let go of my arm. When that song
was over I just stormed over to my chair and the jackass had the nerve to tell me to save
him a two-step. If I’d had my wits about me, I would have ground my boot into his
instep!
A fellow from ssqq told me he has
seen that guy before at other places and he does the same thing to other women.
Well, all I can say is I felt like
whip got it’s name from "whiplash"! I couldn’t even turn my head last
night it was so sore. And that’s coming from a woman who went through childbirth 3
times with no drugs - and one of those was a 37- hour labor.! So I am no wuss. (I’m
not really sure how to spell that, but I’m still not one!) He just really ran me
through through the mill.
Now you know why I just had to thank
SSQQ. It is an incredible place for many reasons. But it’s the respect for other
people that’s taught along with dancing that, and I think I can speak for many women,
that is really appreciated.
The
Longhorn Jackass Revisited
Recently I received this email from another
SSQQ student who had read the original story printed above.
One Thursday evening we were at City Streets dancing. There was a
guy there that usually shows up at Longhorn or wherever SSQQ dancers dance. Someone had
submitted an article about him earlier this year. His usual tactics are slithering through
a crowd, sizing up victims, and striking quickly. Then he drags his victims out to the
dance floor and then proceeds to dance several levels above theirs.
It is a pitiful sight to see! He will do Twilight Zone Whip steps
with someone who barely knows Two-Step. He never does the footwork of a dance, just the
arm work. His footwork is a simple Step-Step-Step-Step, so he can drape himself around the
girl, and touch as much of her as possible.
If a woman were to say, "I’m just a beginner, could you
dance at my level?" it would not be heard. He would just continue mauling and
touching her.
On this particular Thursday he was slinking and slithering
himself through the dance floor. It was like watching a vicious animal positioning himself
on unsuspecting prey and then pouncing on them. The attack is quick and clean, but the
death is slow.
He found his latest victim and dragged her to the dance floor and
began his "dance of love". He had her in Sweethearts and Cuddles and all sorts
of neck wraps. She was totally confused and started the hysterical laugh women use when
they are overpowered. At one point I thought her arms were going to pop out of her
sockets.
The dance set was a long 15-20 minute set of Whip music. The
songs went on and on. Her hair was a mess and her blouse was un-tucked. How long could she
endure this punishment?
Then out of nowhere a Knight-In-Shining-Armor appeared. A man
walked up to him, tapped him in the shoulder and said, "May I cut in?" He took
the woman away from him, pretended to dance with her, and then walked her back to her
table.
The entire crowd cheered!
Yea for the Good Guys!
posted 10-18-99
Heidi and
John Moynihan are proud Parents !
Ruth Ann Manison writes
:"
Dear Dancers,
Just wanted to let you know
that Heidi and John Moynihan are the proud parents of Camryn Grace, who was born last
night (October 17) at 8:17 PM. They’re all doing fine and Heidi sounds amazingly
rested considering yesterday’s activities. Camryn is 9 pounds, 7 ouches (!Freudian
slip intended!) and 21 inches long. Wish them well!
Editor's Note : Heidi and John met at
SSQQ and were married about this time a year ago. Congratulations !
posted 10-18-99
The Blue
Side of Town Joke Page
Back in September, the infamous SSQQ Blue Side of
Town Joke Page disappeared from sight for about three weeks.
The Blue Side site was established originally back
in May as the result of two developments. One, the jokes started getting more sexual. Two,
my daughter Sam decided to log on to the SSQQ Joke Page one day. Any parent should quickly
grasp the underlying reasons behind the instant birth of the secret, address-unpublished
Blue Side soon after. I then sent the address to anyone who emailed me to ask for it.
Soon thereafter some very interesting jokes began to
be sent in. The readers appreciated this secret forum for their jokes with an edge. In my
opinion, from that point on, most of the best jokes sent in ended up on the Blue Side.
Oddly, however, these jokes never did well in the voting. Why, I am not sure, but
personally I have always preferred the Blue Side jokes to the Clean Side jokes by a wide
margin.
In September the Blue Side came to a crashing halt
when I discovered a teenager from a Catholic girls school (St Agnes) had tricked me into
giving her the address to the "Blue Side". One afternoon an SSQQ adult showed
her babysitter the SSQQ joke page on the adult's computer. Of that I am certain.
Whether the babysitter was or was not shown the Blue Side I do not know, but I doubt it.
However I am sure while viewing the "Clean Side" the teenager clearly became
aware of the Blue Side's existence, but not its address.
Unfortunately, the teenage Babysitter's curiosity was aroused.
When she got home the teenager went to the SSQQ web page, got my email address there, and
emailed me directly to ask for the Blue Side address. She identified herself as "a
friend of...so and so", cleverly using the adult's name as the way to trick me into
sending her the address. Although I did not recognize the teen's name or email address,
the adult was well-known to me, so I figured this new person was on the level.
Two days later I saw the adult at the dance studio. When I asked
the adult about the email, I discovered I had been tricked. At this point I was
mortified. My vision was that this address could be quickly circulated with a few
simple clicks of an address book and the entire student body of St Agnes and Strake Jesuit
would be in possession of the heretofore secret Blue Side address. A quick review of the
blue jokes in August included such gems as the Camel and the French Foreign Legion
captain, Guinevere and Lancelot, and the Surrogate Baby. I groaned in despair !
I had no choice but to change the address which meant a lot of
work and hassle. For the moment however I decided to simply erase the Blue Side from the
SSQQ web site.
A day later things got more complicated. The adult who had
originally show her babysitter the web site confronted the teenager about the trick email.
The teenager had the nerve to lie to the adult that she had not used the adult's name in
the first place. In other words, now I was accused of making that part up and the adult
took the babysitter's side in the incident.
Fortunately, I had kept the original email. I forwarded a copy to
the adult and quickly established who was telling the truth and who wasn't. Shortly
thereafter I got a passionate "I am sorry; please forgive me; please don't blame (the
adult)" email from the babysitter. This apology pretty much ended the incident.
Three weeks later I republished the Blue Side with a new address.
However as the reader might imagine I am now far more careful who I send the address to.
Burn me once, Shame on the babysitter, Burn me twice, Shame on me.
posted 10-15-99
Linda Decker Resigns
(and has the nerve to take Rad with her !)
Linda Decker taught for SSQQ for over 10 years. I
have often felt she was the most gifted teacher the studio ever had. Not only was she a
genius at explaining patterns, but she had limitless patience and enormous warmth as well.
Linda is a natural teacher.
Linda met her husband Rad at the studio. He took her
Wednesday night Western class in January, 1996. I believe they were married around
November, 1997. My recollection at the wedding was that Rad is one of the nicest men I
have ever met and that he and Linda were pretty wonderful together. Linda and Rad's
wedding remains one of my favorite weddings of all time.
However, the passage of time wears all of us out and
our spirits seek new adventures. Linda has expressed a desire to spend more time with her
grandchildren on the weekends. I certainly can understand her feelings.
Shane Kidwell wrote a wonderful letter about his
experiences with Linda and Rad. His letter is so eloquent, I hope all of you take the
chance to read it. You will also find that Rad and Linda's responses to his letter will
give you a touching look into the lives of these two very special people.
Click here to read Shane's letter about Linda and Rad Decker.
posted 10-06-99
Rodrigo Aranda Gets
Married !
Rodrigo Aranda got married in
Mexico City late in September. His wife's name is Nelly. Interestingly, Rodrigo had to get
married twice. One weekend he got married in the Church and the next weekend he got
married "legally". Or maybe it was the other way around. I am embarrassed to say
this was a new one on me. I can't imagine any system that allows newlyweds one whole week
to change their minds ! (just kidding, of course).
Rodrigo works for PeMex, the
Mexican National oil company, here at their Houston office. His wife Nelly has since moved
here to Houston. I met her once briefly after their wedding here at the studio and can
attest that Nelly is very lovely and graceful.
Rodrigo was instrumental in
helping me get the first Salsa Rueda off the ground in August (click here for the Story). He has since joined
the SSQQ staff, although his wedding plans, his honeymoon, and various job related trips
have temporarily interfered with his teaching duties. I am very happy for this special
couple and I hope Nelly makes a quick adjustment to her new life here in Houston.
posted 10-15-99
Brad Arbaugh and Verladyne Williams announce Engagement !
If you had not heard Brad
Arbaugh & Verladyne Williams will be married on January 14, 2000 in Las Vegas. All are
welcome to join them for the ceremony and the party. We certainly hope they tie the knot
with Elvis performing the ceremony !!!!! Congratulations !
posted 10-15-99
Karen Murray and Dave Bowman announce Engagement !
SSQQ instructor Rachel Seff
writes in to report the following :
Just call me the matchmaker. Karen Murray and Dave Bowman, who
took the Friday Western class series with Marla and I last Winter are engaged to be
married. I haven't decided how much credit to take, but this makes two couples that have
fallen to my spell. Along with David Meinert, it is getting pretty dangerous to hang
around me these days !
Congratulations,
Karen and Dave !
And you single guys and gals, watch
out for Rachel !
posted 10-15-99
Jeff Hieber and Cyndi Hensarling
announce Engagement !
Mary Tyler Moore writes in to
inform us that Jeff Hieber, a former SSQQ Western instructor who helped Mary teach, is
getting married sometime early next year. The lucky lady is Cyndi Hensarling. Jeff and
Cyndi met at Longhorn in Late February.
With all these engagements being
announced, I can only assume some of the credit also has to go to Ruth Ann Manison and the
Husband-Catching Workshop she helped organize. Nice job, RA ! (see next article)
posted 08-25-99
Speaking of Future
Husbands, an Important Public Announcement
From Ruth Ann
Manison :
For those of you suffering from acute
anuptaphobia (the fear of staying single), here is something that could be entertaining and informative! The title
caught my eye and I figured it might be worth $10 or a fortune, depending.... There’s
a seminar next Wednesday, September 1st from 7-9PM called "The
Consumer’s Guide to Husband Material". Anybody want to go? It’s $10 advance
or $13 at the door. 4100 Westheimer, Suite 235 (the Spectrum Center at Mid Lane). Make
your own reservation by calling 281/496-3283. Rita Justice, Ph.D. will be the presenter.
Let me know if you plan to attend and we can meet for dinner before. And they say women
are hard to understand....
I asked Ruth Ann
about this workshop. She said she was amazed at all the emails she got from guys about it.
One man said he was going to stand outside before and after the workshop to see if the
women treated him any differently. Another man offered to pay Ruth Ann to take notes and
to prepare him for various moves the women might try on him. He wants to have a better
defense, sort of like an anti-wedding virus preparation. Ruth Ann turned him down by
saying if anyone needed to get married, he did.
Ladies, although it is none of my
business, when it comes to finding husbands, I would imagine just hanging around SSQQ is
at least as effective as attending the workshop above. For example, you might recall these
headlines from just four months of the SSQQ Grapevine :
Mario Ballesteros and Linda
Chalk married in May ! (Mario and Linda met at SSQQ)
Heidi is a Mom ! (former SSQQ Staffer Heidi and her husband John Moynihan
met here at SSQQ and were married last fall. As of October 17, she is a Mom!)
Ron Moore and Kathleen Wood get married ! (Ron and Kathleen met
at SSQQ)
Renee Risinger and BJ Downs get Married ! (Renee and BJ
met at SSQQ. They wed earlier this year. Renee recently left the staff because she is
getting ready to have a baby !)
Letitia Taitte and Jordan Kossack Announce Engagement !
Sylvia and Jeff are getting Hitched (Sylvia Key met Jeff Tucker
"elsewhere", but behind his back said lessons at SSQQ are what softened him up.
What do you suppose she meant ?)
Ray Jahn and Kelly Bennett get married !
David Meinert and Eileen MacPherson announce engagement ! (see below)
Bram Weisman gets Married !
Judy Alexander and Clark Blanco announce Engagement ! (see above)
Beth Hentges resigns due to demands of Motherhood (Beth and her husband
Allen met here at SSQQ and married in 1997)
Ben Liles and Diana Beasley get married ! (10-23-99)
Kimberly Meadows and Bryon Thome get married ! (11-20-99)
Brad Arbaugh and Verladyne Williams
announce Engagement !
Jeff Hieber and Cyndi Hensarling
announce Engagement !
Karen Murray and Dave Bowman announce
Engagement !
Letty Molina and Patrick Dougherty announce their
wedding plans !
Julie Adamis and Troy Thornton announce Engagment !
Now guys, I know an article like
this is a little frightening. If a confirmed Bachelor like Ben can make a commitment, what
hope do the rest of you have ? Especially now that the SSQQ women are going to this
Catch a Husband Workshop. I imagine you single guys will be looking over both shoulders in
dance class in case someone is sprinkling "husband dust" on you with your backs
turned.
As you know, Dance and Romance go
hand in hand. You will just have to be vigilant. It is obvious the girls have got your
number. You had best watch out for those fire-breathing, husband-snatchin' wild women of
SSQQ or one of those hip-wiggling dames will catch you too !
However I do have one suggestion for
anti-marital self-defense. If you see a girl in class you are attracted to, immediately go
over to her and teach her how to dance the girl's part correctly. You will be safe for a
long time !
Punishment
This past week Judy
Walsh sent me the following joke :
There was a family
of moles that lived in a hole just outside a farmhouse. There was a Papa mole, a Mama mole
and an itty-bitty Baby mole. One morning the Papa mole woke up and peeking outside said:
"I smell pancakes!"
Hearing that, Mama mole scurried
up the hole and squeezed in next to Papa mole, sniffed the air and said: "Mmmmmmmm, I smell
maple syrup!"
This got Baby mole’s
attention and he ran up the hole and tried to peek out but found his mother and father
were blocking the entrance. Frowning, he said: "All I smell is molasses !"
This particular joke caught me completely off
guard. As a rule, I do not enjoy puns as jokes to read, but in this case it was well
disguised, so I give this joke a lot of credit for fooling me. Some people really enjoy
puns. Since I am open-minded enough to believe different strokes for different folks, I
decided to publish an SSQQ page strictly for puns. If you would like to check it out, click here. SSQQ will not accept
responsibility for any subsequent feelings of anguish you might incur by visiting this
site.
Not Everything you Read on the
Internet or hear about in your Email is True !
I have heard that the Internet is riddled
with lies and inaccuracies. For example, the truth is I tell all sorts of fibs in this
Grapevine Column. So I lie a lot !! Big deal. It is okay if I lie, but I hate it
when someone pulls one over on me. Since I have a bad habit of saving everything, I
occasionally have a chance to go back and compare notes. You might be amused to see what I
have learned ! Click here
Einstein's Puzzle : Donna submits a
Brain Teaser !
Donna Ruth, numero quatro in the SSQQ tenure department
(this means she has lots and lots of seniority) recently submitted a brain teaser that
claims to have been created by none other than Albert Einstein himself. Oh sure. And it
carries the caption that Albert felt that 98% of all humanity didn't have the smarts to
lick this problem. Well, that's the kind of challenge that gets my blood boiling !
Anything Mental Gordian Knot that proves I am smarter than the next guy is right up my
alley. Well, five hours later and about half a dead tree in paper, yes, I got the correct
answer.
Humbled, but grateful I have managed to stumble
into the elite 2%, I must say the logic test is a worthy one. If you too desire to see if
you belong in the upper 2% of the world's brain jocks, then go for it ! Click Here for Albert Einstein's Puzzle !
Riddle of the Sphinx or Why I hate
Amanda !
Amanda Keiser submits this brain teaser :
What is greater than God, more evil than the Devil, poor people have it, rich people
need it...... and if you eat it you will die. What is it ??
(Amanda adds that 80% of a class of Stanford students got this wrong, and 80% of
4th graders got it right. I think she just added this to make me feel more stupid. It
worked. I am so stupid that not only did I not have a clue what the answer was, I assumed
I was as smart as a Stanford student because I got it wrong just like they did. Amanda
then pointed out that just because I got it wrong doesn't mean I am as smart as a Stanford
student because their wrong answers were smarter than my wrong answers. Anyhow, if you
want the answer, see at the bottom of the page)
.................................................................................................
Now I bet you were hoping the answer to Amanda's stupid brain teaser was
down here. Nope. You obviously don't know how I operate ! I ain't telling you
nothing until you email me with some gossip if you want the answer. No gossip, no answer,
no nothing. You don't have any gossip ? Well, for crying out loud, don't let that stop you
! Just make some up ! That's how I do it...
(Pssst - Want to read some old Dirt ? Want to find out who your boy friend was
dating a year ago ? Undoubtedly a tramp. Find out ! Just click Sour Grapes !)
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