2008 Newsletter Home

There were two Newsletter in July

Issue One
Issue Two

The First SSQQ Newsletter for JULY 2008
The SSQQ Newsletter is written by Rick Archer


STORY ONE: JULY DANCE CLASSES BEGIN SUNDAY, JULY 6

THE NEW SSQQ JULY DANCE SEMESTER BEGINS SUNDAY, JULY 6 http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/schedule.htm

As always, if you miss classes the first week, you can start in the second week as well.
DESCRIPTIONS OF CLASSES
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/extra.htm

Our Special class of the month is
BEGINNING AMERICAN TANGO WITH RICK ARCHER
SUNDAY NIGHTS AT 7 PM IN JULY

INTERMEDIATE ARGENTINE TANGO WITH NOE ROSAS AND SONJA STRATHEARN
THURSDAY NIGHTS AT 7 PM IN JULY
Tango is a timeless symbol for the dark side of romance. The music is haunting and mysterious and the movement of the dance very dramatic.
With songs like "Jalousie" (Jealousy) and "Ecstasie" (Ecstasy), Tango takes it place in legend as the dance of pride, anger, and most of all, passion. It is said that if Count Dracula were to choose a dance, there is no doubt it would be Tango.
Stylish and very dramatic, Tango combines sleek, hip-locked, gliding steps with abrupt stops into fans, flicks, flares, dips, and lunges. The eerie music, sultry motion, and the haunting sense of dark moods barely under control make Tango a truly fascinating dance!
One way to quickly become acquainted with Tango is through a variety of quotes.
"It takes two to tango."
"Life is like Tango... sad, sensual, sexy, violent and quiet."
"Tango can save your life, and it will break your heart."
"You don't choose tango, tango chooses you."
"Tango is a sad thought that is danced."
"Tango is great for people who don't get enough opportunities to get rejected in everyday life."
"Tango is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire."
"Other music exists to heal wounds; but the tango when sung and played is for the purpose of opening them, for the purpose of sticking you finger in the wound and to tear them until they bleed."
"The forms of tango are like stages of a marriage. The American tango is like the beginning of a love affair, when you're both very romantic and on your best behavior. The Argentine tango is when you're in the heat of things and all kinds of emotions are flying: passion, anger, humor. The International tango is like the end of the marriage, when you're staying together for the sake of the children."
Are you intrigued?
People love to ask, "Which Tango dance is better, American Tango or Argentine Tango?
Having been on the dance scene for over thirty years, I have heard this question raised on several occasions. Debates on the merits of one dance over another are not as uncommon as you might think. For example, I remember back in the Nineties there was a big argument over which dance was better - East Coast Swing or Lindy Hop. Another famous debate I am familiar with involved Whip versus West Coast Swing. Some Western dancers like to debate the merits of the Polka versus Triple Two.
Apples and Oranges, Pecans and Pistachios, Blondes and Brunettes, American and Argentine... there really is no "Right" Answer. It usually boils down to what you are looking for.
When it comes to comparing the two Tango systems, both dances have their merits. American Tango is more structured than its Argentine counterpart. If you are a Beginner, American is a good place to start. If you are an experienced dancer, you will likely enjoy Argentine more.
Using an analogy from sport of Basketball, American Tango relies more on "set, predetermined plays" while Argentine Tango is more improvisational, make-it-up on the spot.
Most insiders consider American Tango vastly easier to learn. Furthermore, if you ever attend a social Ballroom dance, most of the tangos played are American. Although most of us haven't seen any Valentino movies recently, the famous Movie Star Rudolph Valentino was known for his classic American Tango. American Tango tends to travel around the room while Argentine limits itself to one spot on the floor. Strict tempo music is characteristic of most ballroom music, which makes the beats easier to identify. Movements in American Tango often involve sharp head turns as well as outstretched arms in promenade (side-to-side) position. Partners do not typically dance close together. It is said by many that American Style Tango has flash but no passion.
Argentine Tango on the other hand is very big on passion and connection. Dancers often dance very close together. It is highly improvisational and of the moment. Argentine can be flashy or not flashy. At its best, it is danced for a limited audience - each other. Typically when you dance Argentine Tango at a milonga (an event or dance venue where people dance Argentine Tango), this is all you dance. Your evening is spent dancing Argentine Tango. All or nothing.
One expert made this observation - people who dance American Tango don't really want to dance American Tango all night. They want to dance Tango in addition to all the other Ballroom Dances. Whereas the Argentine Tango dancers don't want to dance any other kind of dance but their beloved Argentine Tango. Many Gods, One God.
I think that statement is pretty accurate - American Tango dancers seem to enjoy all types of dances whereas the Argentine people who think they are just getting a taste sometimes fool around and fall in love with the dance. As the saying goes, "You don't choose tango, tango chooses you."
There are no fanatic American Tango people that I know of, but there are many rabid Argentine dancers.
I think the decision as to which style to learn boils down to this - where are you going to go dancing?
If you want to go to a Ballroom social dance, then you should choose American. If you want to become an expert at Tango Dancing to the exclusion of the other dances, then Argentine is sufficiently complex and intriguing to anchor an entire lifestyle.
And if you can't choose, there is no law against learning both.
................................


STORY TWO: DANCE PARTIES IN JULY
CHANDELIER NIGHT OF BALLROOM DANCING
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party13a.htm
Featuring the Knights of Dixie Orchestra playing Big Band Swing and Ballroom Music
Saturday, July 19
9:15 pm - Midnight
Cover Charge $11 person

Chandelier Ballroom is located at 1435 Beall Street in the Heights.
7-9 pm Crash Courses (to be held at the SSQQ location)
$15 Person, $25 Couple
To register, just show up and sign up at the door

BEG LINDY HOP - Maureen
ARGENTINE TANGO - Noe
PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ - BEG FOXTROT/WALTZ - Jack
BEG SWING - Tom and Jo
ADVANCED WALTZ - Dakota
JILL'S FAVORITE RUMBA PATTERNS - Jill Banta


ABOUT CHANDELIER NIGHT:
Our July 19th visit to the Chandelier Ballroom is an experiment. It is the first time in the 30-year history of SSQQ that we have had Crash Courses at the studio, and then gone somewhere else for our dancing afterwards.
We are giving this a try because it makes a lot of sense. Ballroom Dancing is stylish and elegant. Nothing captures the mood like dancing to a Band playing excellent live music on a spacious dance floor.
There is just something about the 'atmosphere' of dressing up and going out to a fancy place like the Chandelier Ballroom.
As a prelude to the evening, we are offering six different Crash Courses at the studio to help give our students something to practice during their evening of dancing at the Chandelier. Then after the Crash Courses end, we will get in our cars and head over to the Chandelier for an evening of Formal Dancing. By the way, the Chandelier Ballroom is at most a 15-minute drive from SSQQ.
..................


THE DUDE RANCH WESTERN PARTY
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party14.htm
Saturday, August 2nd
9:00 - 11:30 pm

CRASH COURSES 7 - 9 PM
$15 Person, $25 Couple
To register, just show up and sign up at the door

BEG C&W : TEXAS TWOSTEP - Kerry
INT 2STEP/POLKA: CIRCLE TURNS - Linda
DANCE TIME IN TEXAS - Rick (couples only; sort of)
NIGHT CLUB - Scott
SLOW DANCING - Marla (couples only)
JACK'S FAVORITE MARTIAN WHIP PTNS - Jack

I would like to put in a good word for the "Dance Time in Texas" class.
"Dance Time in Texas" is a song sung by George Strait. The song is a Western Polka with some Waltz in it as well. The song lends itself nicely to a choreographed couples dance based on Same Foot Synchronized Polka as well as Same Foot Western Waltz.
Think of the dance as an advanced form of the Cotton Eyed Joe.
The Dance Time in Texas routine is not difficult, but it is too complicated to teach out on the dance floor. So we will learn the dance in this crash course and perform it together at the dance party later on.
If we finish early, we will learn more Synchronized Polka patterns.
As for the 'couples only' requirement, this is not a hard and fast rule. What we need is an even number of men and women. So if you want to sign up as a 'Single' and take your chances, that's fine as long as the class balances out. But if we have five extra men or five extra women 10 minutes into the class, we will ask the "Extras" to go find another Crash Course to take instead.
...............

FOLLOW-UP TO A PREVIOUS STORY:
RETURN OF THE ANCIENT CURSE - THE STUDIO'S ROOF IS FALLING!
In our previous issue I reported two serious roof leaks. I was all atwitter because it took seven months to solve this problem back in 2007.
I am pleased to say the repairs were made within ten days this time. Good work!
..........

........................

STORY FOUR: GLENN AND MARISSA'S WEDDING
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2008.htm

On June 8, 2008, Marla's daughter Marissa married Glenn Hebert in a very lovely ceremony.
Now I realize this is not technically an SSQQ Wedding, but I put the pictures and the story in the SSQQ Romance section anyway. Anyone who wishes to quibble with this decision should take it up with Marla and risk possible death at the hands of the Attila Monster.
By the way, my daughter Sam added her story of the wedding to mine. I am embarrassed to say hers might be better. I can't decide whether to be proud or irritated.
All I know is that Sam grew up a lot that day. As one of Marissa's bridesmaids, Sam not only had her hair up, but those four inch heels put her eye to eye with me. My baby is becoming a woman.
Glenn and Marissa's Wedding was easily the best wedding I have ever been to. I hope you enjoy reading about this special event for my family.
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2008.htm

..................


STORY FIVE: SPEAKING OF SSQQ ROMANCE
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2008.htm

Guy Hoover emailed me to announce his engagement to Patty Pennington.
We haven't seen much of Guy recently. He bought a sailboat over in Malaysia earlier this year. He said he planned to sail it back to Houston, but I haven't heard anything more about that experience.
I will share his email with you. I don't typically list email addresses, but I will this time because I think he would enjoy hearing from his friends here at home.

..........

From: Guy Hoover
Sent: Sunday, June 01, 2008 6:00 PM
To: ssqq
Subject: Engagement announcement

Rick, I don't know if you need any filler for the newsletter, but after 5 years of dating off and mostly on, Patty Pennington said yes when I asked her to marry me.

We honeymooned in Bali this past week, and hope to get married in the coming year. (Never have done anything in the correct order.) I'm flying back from Malaysia in August for a month when we should be able to finalize some plans. You may not know, but Patty and I met in MG's Beginning 2 Step and Polka class back in December 2002. The following year we were both on the monstrously large Carnival Jubilee Cruise together in 2003.

There is a small club here at the Sebana Cove Marina and it has the "3 Divas", a Philippino group of 3 girls and one guy playing electric everything way too loud. I'm so desperate for dancing I go up there once a week and con a Diva to shake it on the floor with me once in a while. One of them is a natural follow. Naturally, Patty and I had to try it out the night she was on the boat with me, and we were dancing fools. No one there had seen whip before, so Patty was attracting a lot of attention with her moves. Look for her to attend Monday whip class this week. I think she enjoyed the applause.

I hope all is well with you, Sam and Marla. If the winds had been a little later, I'd have tried to hook up with your Mediterranean cruise this year and said Hello. Maybe next year?
..............

STORY SIX: SPEAKING OF SSQQ ROMANCE
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2008.htm
Hoover wasn't the only person making news with an engagement. Keith Patterson emailed as well to announce his engagement to Penny Gunderson.
Keith and Penny joined us for both the 2006 Dance Cruise and the 2007 Dance Cruises. So far they are taking this year off and now I know why - they have something more important to attend to. Congratulations to both!
I will share Keith's email with you.
...........

-----Original Message-----
From: Keith Patterson
Sent: Wednesday, June 25, 2008 6:57 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Hello Rick & Marla

Hi Rick, Hi Marla,
This is Keith Patterson. Just thought I would let y'all know that there is a new engagement in the SSQQ family. Penny Gunderson & Keith Patterson are getting married.
Penny and I met like everyone else. We casually met at same-night, different-room classes at SSQQ. Then we also casually danced together a few times at Wild West. Then, we casually met with a group of people at the Galveston Mardi Gras.
After that, we casually went out on a few dates, and before you knew it, we were casually a couple.
And now we are seriously engaged!
.............

FOLLOW-UP TO A PREVIOUS STORY:
WILL JOYE WRITE A LETTER?
In our previous Newsletter issue, I wrote about a woman who insisted on dancing with other women in a group dance class here at the studio.
One day back in 1999, a female dance student named Joye signed up for a group class expecting to dance the "Lead", i.e. the boy's part.
She did not bother to warn us in advance.
She did not see anything wrong with what she was doing.
She expected a woman who was a total stranger to be willing to dance with her.

In our minds, her behavior seriously violated existing social norms at the time. When we pointed this out, the woman disagreed! She said we were sexually discriminating against her.
Many years later, this same woman discovered my story about her had become the Number One item on Google any time she typed in her full name. She was not happy about this and wanted her name removed.
By coincidence at that same time I was fascinated by the power of Google. In fact, I was so curious about Google's effect on people's reputation that I wrote an eight-page essay on the subject of Reputation and used Joye's situation as one of my case studies.
http://www.ssqq.com/stories/advent51.htm

I eventually removed Joye's name two different times only to be approached yet a third time over a new SSQQ reference that had been previously missed.
This third request was sort of a 'last straw' for me. At this point I had spent so much time removing Joye's last name here there and everywhere that I had renewed my interest in the original story. I kept wondering over and over what Joye's motivation could possibly have been to violate such an obvious social norm in our dance class nine years.
So I made a decision - if Joye would tell me what she was thinking nine years ago, I would remove her name permanently.
So did Joye answer my question or did she duck the issue?
If you would like to read the complete story and the letter I wrote to her, please visit:
http://www.ssqq.com/stories/advent45.htm

LETTER TO THE EDITOR REGARDING THIS INCIDENT:
-----Original Message-----
From: K
Sent: Friday, June 20, 2008 12:08 PM
To: ssqqnewsletter
Subject: Same Sex incident

OK. First off, I have a daughter who is racing off to California to get married in October with a partner she's been with for seven years. They are happy and compatible as a couple and not at all "in your face", not marching in parades, and just want to be accepted in society. I love both young women. I am 61 years young and conservative. I don't believe in formal gay marriage, which has caused me some flack. Guess I had to get that off my chest, but I can speak from having experience on both sides of the issue.
I agree with the way you handled things in 1999. I think you were nice to remove her name after the second request.
I also think your story about Google's memory bank was very enlightening, even scary. People living alternative lifestyles don't have it easy. So for that reason, if I were you, I would remove her name each time I was POLITELY asked.
I agree that although we have come a long way in our society to accept these differences, the general population to whom you appeal or serve is not ready for it. Let some other dance studio take up the banner. The criteria on which YOUR studio was founded did not include it. It could set you up for a lot of major problems in the future. SSQQ has an excellent reputation in Houston. So many people have attended or known someone who has attended and I personally have not heard one bad thing about customers or staff. Besides, you are the boss, it's a free country, you make the rules, and that's what's nice about owning your own business.
Your website is awesome. Thanks for listening.
..................

STORY SEVEN: UPDATING THE SSQQ STAFF BIO PAGE
http://ssqq.com/information/ssqqstaff.htm

Buried somewhere deep within the bowels of the SSQQ web site is a section which contains a complete list of the SSQQ Staff and several Staff Biographies as well.
This area of the web site has not been touched in over four years. Furthermore there was no groundswell of requests to see it updated. Why not? Because it had been so long since anyone actually knew where it was located any more, most people forgot it existed.
But I knew. Just because no one was bugging me to bring this section up to date didn't mean I didn't care. It just meant that anytime something more pressing came along, I could put off updating the Staff Page to handle a more immediate concern.
One day I took a look at the Staff Page and nearly died. There were two dozen people listed who didn't work here any more. There were two dozen new people who had never been added. There were marriages listed that no longer existed. There were important marriages that were not listed. There were new children that weren't listed. I feel deeply ashamed.
Since I have a computer-literate daughter who is in constant need of money, I decided this was the perfect summer project. And I am happy to report that Sam has been doing a good job.
However I am not totally satisfied. A cursory glance reveals that only about half of my staff - 32 out of 57 - have bothered to send in a Staff Bio. Now you get an idea why updating this page keeps getting put on the back burner - half my staff could care less!
Now I grant you some of them have a good reason. Three of our instructors are in a Witness Protection Program. They can't teach worth a lick, but the government pays me to keep them around so I do for National Security reasons. And one instructor doesn't want his girlfriend to know he works here. But the others have absolutely no excuse.
So I need a favor. If you see the following people, will you ask them politely to send in a Bio?
Maybe Peer Pressure will do the trick.

SSQQ BIOS MISSING IN ACTION
1. Daryl Armstrong
2. Paul Foltyn
3. Maureen Brunetti
4. Martin Anderson
5. Mona Nashed
6. Marty and Adele Raber
7. Scott Ladell
8. Loni Lewellyn
9. Luis Castillo
10. Jamie Mabry
11. Steve Gekas
12. Joel McCleskey
13. Kelly Boyer
14. Dakota Wilhelm
15. Laura Graber
16. Jackie Chang
17. Tom and Jo Tucker
18. Kerry Peck
19. Deborah Jenkins
20. Sandy Lenarduzzi
21. Ana Moreno
22. Phyllis Porter
23. Caitlin Prescott

On the other hand, if you would like to read the stories of the people who are willing to admit they work here, here are their write-ups.
1. Rick Archer
2. Sharon Shaw
3. Ben Liles
4. Linda Cook
5. Jack Benard
6. Anita Williams
7. Maureen Brunetti
8. Jill Banta
9. MG Anseman
10. Karen Clawson
11. Willie Bushnell
12. Jim Coulter
13. Ronnie Alexander
14. Patty Harrison
15. Joe Lachner
16. Steve Gabino
17. Cher Longoria
18. Marla Archer
19. Alex Schamenek
20. Rhonwyn Baker
21. Steve Casko
22. Rebeca Bangstein
23. Bjorn Bangstein
24. Becky Bratton
25. Chelynne Chuc
26. Susan Arevalo
27. Mary Jane Covington
28. Margaret Dodds
29. Gerry Frances
30. Tammey Trawick
31. Barry Newmark
32. Lynn Howell

http://ssqq.com/information/ssqqstaff.htm

.................

STORY EIGHT: THE STORY OF OUR TRIP TO THE BIG ISLAND!
Now this is unusual - we now have a brand new chapter from last summer's Cruise to Hawaii.
Amazing.
I don't know if anyone is paying close attention, but it has now been OVER A YEAR since we took that cruise. Usually I have the Writeups done about a month after a cruise. Not this time.
I am not going to lie about it. The reason I am having so much trouble getting going on this story is that I have too much to write about and too little time. In my life I have a free day and two free days there. This story would require two entire weeks to write. I keep putting the project off until I have enough time, but as you can see, I never have this kind of stretch of time available.
So I just keep avoiding it.
This is an enormous project. Just to put this ONE STORY together took me seven days last week. Now mind you I didn't work 12 hours a day each day. But I did put in some work seven days in a row just to generate ONE STORY.
I suppose I could do a quick and dirty job, but that is just not me. Please forgive.
At any rate, this new story answers four interesting questions:
1) How did the Hawaiian Islands come into existence?
2) How did the Hawaiian Islands become populated?
3) Who is the HORNIEST mythological God ever?
4) And what embarrassing lesson did Rick learn on his trip to the Big Island?

Don't you want to know the answer to these burning questions? Of course you do!
HAWAII 2007 DAY TWO: THE BIG ISLAND
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/hawaii200702.htm
Hint - Even though I complain, I really did enjoy working on Page Two. If you like my story enough to write me some encouragement, maybe I will get to work on Page Three next week.
..............

STORY NINE: ANN'S BIG ADVENTURE IS ALMOST OVER
In previous Newsletter issues, we have chronicled Ann Al-Jazrawi's amazing EIGHT WEEK TREK across Europe. The trip is almost over. Ann and her husband Sam will be home on Monday, July 7.
Reporting in is dutiful daughter Gina. Here is that scoop:

-----Original Message-----
From: Gina Nelson
Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2008 8:57 AM
To: Rick Archer
Cc: Joy Al-Jazrawi
Subject: Mom and Dad

Dear Rick, I just wanted to give you a little update on Mom and Dad's trip. They sent me a text message on Monday. They were supposed to leave London on an 8:40am flight to Amsterdam which was supposed to arrive at 11:05 so that they could make their connecting flight at 11:50am to Bremen, Germany arriving at 12:55 pm.
Well, needless to say, their flight from London was late and therefore they didn't make the connecting flight to Bremen, Germany. Poor things - they were stuck at the airport until later than evening waiting to get on a different flight to Bremen. Finally they made onto another flight and arrived at their hotel in Bremen at 9:00 pm that evening.
Mom called me while they were in the Amsterdam airport to say that despite missing their flight, they were having a wonderful time so far, but they were ready to come home!
8 weeks is just too long of a vacation.
Then Dad got on the phone to tell me that his back hurt, his feet hurt, his whole body hurt, but most of all his pocket book hurt! grin
Anyway, they are now in Bremen for my cousin Zina's (Dad's oldest brother's daughter) wedding that will be this weekend. And yes you read it right...Zina, and of course I am Gina...oh and did I mention I have another cousin named Leena. Zina, Gina, and Leena (are you having flash backs to My Big Fat Greek Wedding???).
Well, that is about it for now...5 days until Mom and Dad come home!!! :)
Gina

(RICK ARCHER'S NOTE: I guess it really is possible to have too much of a good thing. I look forward to hearing all the details soon!)
..........

STORY NINE: THREE FUN VIDEOS TO WATCH
I have received links to two excellent videos.
The Stars Wars video is a great parody on Dancing With the Stars. Have you ever seen Darth Vader do a Michael Jackson imitation? Well, this your chance. Excellent video! Good dancing and funny too.
Star Wars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkTQwP2gFxU

I will go ahead and admit "The Baseball Girl Who Could Fly" Video is a hoax. This wonderful video shows a teenage girl flying into midair to catch a foul ball about 12 feet up in the air. Incredibly, the video is so well done that I believed it was on the level!
I wasn't the only one who was fooled. Sports Talk Radio was filled with people calling in about this video to comment on how real it seemed. It turns out to be a Gatorade commercial. The girl was propelled into thin air by wires that were brushed out of the final clip.
You gotta see it!
The Baseball Girl Who Could Fly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSGqK-nZkaU

Now that I have seen how easy it is to fool people with video, maybe some of you can watch a video of LeBron James sinking 4 consecutive 80 foot shots and comment on whether you believe it is legit or not. I am very skeptical, but the video is awfully convincing.
Tell me what you think.
LeBron James and the Eighty Foot Shots
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2AQjjZp6Jk

................

STORY TEN: A SAD NOTE

I am sorry to say I have received news on July 2 that my friend Shirley Kyckelhahn has passed away. There was a service today as I write, but I just couldn't get the Newsletter out fast enough to alert anybody.

"Shirley Kyckelhahn died July 1, 2008. A memorial service will be held Thursday, July 3 at 11 a.m. at Grace Presbyterian Church, 10221 Ella Lee Lane, Houston, Texas"
Shirley and her husband Bruce were a big part of the studio back in the early 2000s.
Bruce in particular was part of a special story I wrote about why most people don't like lawyers very much. Bruce sent me a fascinating tale of lawyer abuse right in his own community.

..............
Thu 04/18/2002 7:22 AM
SSQQ HAS A SCOFFLAW IN IT'S MIDST
Contributed by Bruce and Shirley Kyckelhahn
...............

I turned this story into a newsletter article if you care to review it.
WHY THE WHOLE WORLD HATES LAWYERS
Written by Rick Archer
http://www.ssqq.com/newsletter/news2002may.htm#LAWYERS

MAY NEWSLETTER REVISITED: WHY THE WHOLE WORLD HATES LAWYERS
http://www.ssqq.com/newsletter/news2002june.htm

I am happy to report that Bruce and Shirley eventually won their case, but it sure was a shame all the misery they had to be put through into to defend their innocence. It just makes me shake my head in disgust.
I have not seen Bruce or Shirley in several years. They were very close friends of Gary and Betty Richardson. Bruce and Shirley were a long-time fixture here on Friday Western Night, but believe they switched to Wild West on Fridays around 2003.
I researched my archives trying to find a picture of Shirley, but struck out. I looked at four Halloween parties, two sock hops, and two western parties without success. I am so frustrated!
Let's face it - our studio is aging. As I have mentioned in the past, obituaries are likely to become as much a part of the Newsletter as the romance. It is all a part of the cycle of life.
Rest in Peace, Shirley.
....................

STORY ELEVEN: PICTURE JOKE OF THE MONTH -
THE DEFINITION OF BAD TASTE
http://www.ssqq.com/jokes/jokepicture.htm

Chris Holmes sent me a picture so ridiculous I would rather not even say a word.
Seeing is believing.
....................

STORY TWELVE: JOKE OF THE MONTH -
HOLLYWOOD SQUARES
These amazing one-liners were sent to me by my dance and basketball buddy Denny Morse.

You have to be pretty old to remember the Original Hollywood Squares in the Sixties. But age is not necessary to appreciate the humor, which is truly AGELESS.

Long-time readers of the Newsletter may remember that I have published these jokes before, but they are so wonderful they deserve to be trotted back out now and then. I swear I have read every one of them previously, but they have me bursting out loud with laughter even today!

What I think is great is that none of this material was scripted. These people were so sharp they made these cracks up right on the spot. WOW! That is impressive.

So here we go. Just remember all of these great answers are from the days when 'Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning .

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do ?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q.. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Q. How many balls are on a standard billiard table?
A. Charlie Weaver: It depends on how many men are playing.
..................
 

There were two Newsletter in July

Issue One
Issue Two

July 2008 SSQQ Newsletter Second Issue

The SSQQ Newsletter is written by Rick Archer

 STORY ONE: DANCE PARTIES IN JULY

 CHANDELIER NIGHT OF BALLROOM DANCING

http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party13a.htm

Featuring the Knights of Dixie Orchestra playing Big Band Swing and Ballroom Music
Saturday, July 19
9:15 pm - Midnight
Cover Charge $11 person
 
Chandelier Ballroom is located at 1435 Beall Street in the Heights.

7-9 pm Crash Courses (to be held at the SSQQ location)
$15 Person, $25 Couple  
To register, just show up and sign up at the door

 BEG LINDY HOP - Maureen

ARGENTINE TANGO - Noe

PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ - BEG FOXTROT/WALTZ - Jack

BEG SWING - Tom and Jo

ADVANCED WALTZ - Dakota

JILL’S FAVORITE RUMBA PATTERNS -  Jill Banta

 

 

ABOUT CHANDELIER NIGHT:

Our July 19^th visit to the Chandelier Ballroom is an experiment.  It is the first time in the 30-year history of SSQQ that we have had Crash Courses at the studio, and then gone somewhere else for our dancing afterwards. 

We are giving this a try because it makes a lot of sense.  Ballroom Dancing is stylish and elegant.  Nothing captures the mood like dancing to a Band playing excellent live music on a spacious dance floor. 

There is just something about the ‘atmosphere’ of dressing up and going out to a fancy place like the Chandelier Ballroom.

As a prelude to the evening, we are offering six different Crash Courses at the studio to help give our students something to practice during their evening of dancing at the Chandelier.    Then after the Crash Courses end, we will get in our cars and head over to the Chandelier for an evening of Formal Dancing.  By the way, the Chandelier Ballroom is at most a 15-minute drive from SSQQ.

 ..................

 THE DUDE RANCH WESTERN PARTY

http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party14.htm

Saturday, August 2^nd

9:00 - 11:30 pm

 

CRASH COURSES 7 - 9 PM

$15 Person, $25 Couple

To register, just show up and sign up at the door

 

BEG C&W : TEXAS TWOSTEP - Kerry

INT 2STEP/POLKA: CIRCLE TURNS - Linda

DANCE TIME IN TEXAS -  Rick (couples only; sort of)

NIGHT CLUB - Scott

SLOW DANCING - Marla (couples only)

JACK’S FAVORITE MARTIAN WHIP PTNS - Jack

 

I would like to put in a good word for the “Dance Time in Texas” class.

“Dance Time in Texas” is a song sung by George Strait.  The song is a Western Polka with some Waltz in it as well.  The song lends itself nicely to a choreographed couples dance based on Same Foot Synchronized Polka as well as Same Foot Western Waltz.

Think of the dance as an advanced form of the Cotton Eyed Joe.

The Dance Time in Texas routine is not difficult, but it is too complicated to teach out on the dance floor.  So we will learn the dance in this crash course and perform it together at the dance party later on. 

If we finish early, we will learn more Synchronized Polka patterns.

As for the ‘couples only’ requirement, this is not a hard and fast rule.   What we need is an even number of men and women.  So if you want to sign up as a ‘Single’ and take your chances, that’s fine as long as the class balances out.  But if we have five extra men or five extra women 10 minutes into the class, we will ask the “Extras” to go find another Crash Course to take instead. 

...............

 STORY TWO:  Congratulations to Gary Schweinle and Tracy Kirkland

http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2008.htm

 

On Saturday, July 12, 2008, Gary Schweinle married Tracy Kirkland in a very lovely Western-style ceremony.  You had to be there to appreciate it, but the wedding vows were very original.

I don’t think I will ever be able to go to a wedding again without thinking about the Great Trail Boss in the Sky.

There must have been forty SSQQ dancers there that afternoon, possibly even more.  It was wonderful seeing all those great dancers!

I am going to ask Gary and Tracy to give me a guest list for the next Newsletter.  There were so many people there I know I would forget someone.

Tracy and Gary and joining Marla and myself on the Greece Cruise.  I can’t wait to share the week with both of these wonderful people!

http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2008.htm

..................

 STORY THREE: SPEAKING OF SSQQ ROMANCE

http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2008.htm

I would like to congratulate Andrew Laham and Pam Conyne on their upcoming August 2 wedding.  Andrew and Pam were fixtures in Martian Whip a year ago, but I haven’t seen them since then.

I am very happy for both of them although it drives me crazy that I don’t have a current email address on either person to ask them a few questions!

..............

 

STORY FOUR: THE 2007 HAWAII CRUISE

http://www.ssqq.com/travel/hawaii2007.htm

I vowed that I would not go on my next cruise until I finished my story from last year’s cruise!

For the past week, I have been working furiously on the writeup from the 2007 Hawaii Cruise.  There is so much to write about!

I came close, but had to quit one day short of being finished.  But there is still plenty of good reading. 

1.   the story of how Hawaii was first populated

2.   the story of how the Hawaiian Islands were created

3.   how I nearly lost a foot on a volcano tour

4.   the story of Captain James Cook, the first European to visit Hawaii

5.   a story about the amazing Mt Haleakala on Maui

6.   a story about the great magician Warren Gibson

7.   a story about King Kamehameha, the man who united the Hawaiian Islands

8.   a story about Maui’s famous Road to Hana

9.   a story explaining why Hawaii is the Extinction Capital of the World

10.  a story about a Waterfall Tour on the Big Island

11.  the story of how Hawaii fell into American hands

12.  best of all, 100 photographs from the Hawaii Trip!

 

http://www.ssqq.com/travel/hawaii2007.htm

.............

 

STORY FIVE: The Crazy Riverboat Accident

http://ssqq.com/archive/riverboat.htm

This is the true story complete with pictures about a Riverboat that lost control in a flood, was swept totally underwater by a low-lying bridge, spun 360 degrees underwater, and came out on the other side of the bridge totally intact.  Fortunately there was no loss of life.  Best of all, a newspaper man on the spot by sheer chance filmed the entire incident.

You gotta see these pictues!

http://ssqq.com/archive/riverboat.htm

..................

 

STORY SIX: More Dubai Pictures

http://ssqq.com/archive/vinlin23dubaibeach.htm

Long-time readers of the Newsletter know I have a thing for Dubai, the City that makes the Future look like its here now. 

This new feature on Dubai concentrates on those expensive homes built on man-made islands out in the Persian Gulf.  For a chance to see how the truly rich live, come check out these pictures!

http://ssqq.com/archive/vinlin23dubaibeach.htm

.................

 

STORY SEVEN: Solution to the Motorcycle Accident Mystery

No one commented much on this gruesome story so maybe there isn’t any interest.  At the time, I pointed out there was a huge debate over whether the incident really happened or whether someone deliberately faked the accident.

However a medical examiner from Australia took a look at the pictures and had some very interesting things to say about what happened.  Curious?   If so, visit

http://ssqq.com/archive/vinlin10.htm

Scroll to the bottom

..............

 

STORY EIGHT: ANN’S BIG ADVENTURE IS ALMOST OVER

I am happy to report that Sam and Ann Al-Jazrawi’s amazing EIGHT WEEK TREK across Europe is finally over.  They made it home safely on Monday, July 7.  

Hopefully Ann will be able to contribute some stories for us and offer some pictures for the next Newsletter!

..........

 

STORY NINE: A FUN VIDEO TO WATCH

Would you like a good laugh?  Here is fun video contributed by Jamie Hathaway.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY&feature=user

Titled “Where the Hell is Matt?”, this video is about a guy who travels to the far corner of the earth to persuade people to dance in his video along with him.  As Jamie points out, he can’t dance, but it’s a pretty cool video.

My favorite Matt location were the DMZ in Korea, the floating in air space chamber, and the wave that obliterated him.  Hope you enjoy the show!

................

 

STORY TEN: HUASHAN

http://ssqq.com/archive/vinlin27d.htm

http://ssqq.com/archive/huashanletters.htm

 

My article on the deadly hiking trail at Mt Huashan in China is now the most widely read story in the world on the subject according the Google.

So that earned me my very first mention in Wikipedia!   Should I be happy?  Heck no!   The Wikipedia article basically called me a fraud.  Lucky me.

Then some jerk wrote me the meanest letter I have ever received.  Here are some excerpts from his letter:

The debate here is a simple one:  Antoine says Huashan is safe enough for an 8 year old.  I say Huashan looks dangerous. 

Let’s start with a short review of the letter.  According to Antoine (my critic), my Huashan story was not very academic, my story was extremely erroneous, I made a big mistake when writing the article, I have made false claims, I argued that the Chinese didn’t care about their people, and my whole website is false and misleading. 

Antoine even challenged my manhood - “take the job like a man...”

I got so mad at Antoine that I had to deliver a serious cyber smackdown!

Curious to see what all the fuss is about?  Curious to know what Wikipedia said about SSQQ’s fearless leader?   Well, indulge yourself and find out.

http://ssqq.com/archive/huashanletters.htm

Scroll to Letter Eight

....................

 

STORY ELEVEN: THE RIVER CROSSING RIDDLE

Contributed by Carol Gafford

A farmer has some grain, a duck and a fox. 

He needs to get them all across the river, but the only boat is really rickety and he can only take one item at a time.

If he leaves the duck with the grain, the duck will eat the grain. 

If he leaves the fox with the duck, the fox will eat the duck. 

The fox will not eat the grain. 

The farmer can make as many trips as he wants. 

How does he get them all across the river?

 

Answer at bottom of page.

Rick Archer’s Note: I didn’t get the answer, but I was very impressed with how clever the riddle was.  This is not a silly puzzle The answer is totally logical and on the level.  Put on your thinking cap and see if you can figure it out.  Let me know if you solved it all by yourself!

 

....................

 

STORY TWELVE: JOKE OF THE MONTH -

MY POINT EXACTLY

Contributed by Gerald McEathron

 

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.

When asked how he was feeling, the 86-year-old replied, “Things are just great and I’ve never felt better. I am so pleased to announce I have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. “So what do you think about that Doc?”

The Doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

“I have an elderly friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.”

The doctor paused for a moment, then continued.

“As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge. He realized he’d left his gun at home and so he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature.  Just out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went ‘Bang Bang’.”

The doctor paused again.

“Incredibly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?” asked the Doctor.

The 86-year-old thought for a minute and said, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

The Doctor replied, “My point exactly.”

..................

 

STORY THIRTEEN: THE MYSTERY OF THE STAFF BIO PAGE

http://ssqq.com/information/ssqqstaff.htm

My daughter Sam has been working diligently this summer to bring the Staff Bio Page up to speed.  I was very pleased with her work.

However there was a mystery.  One day Steve Gabino asked me why he could see his picture, but the text he had sent was missing.  It was all a blank. 

I looked at him like he was crazy. I had Sam cut and paste his bio into the right spot with my own eyes.  I told him to go check again.  I didn’t hear anything more so I forgot about it.

On Monday, July 14, Cher Longoria confronted me with the exact same problem - there was no text next to her name!  Sitting nearby, Becky Bratton suddenly came to life and announced there was no text next to her name either. 

So I walked both women into the Registration area at the studio and showed them that the text was there the whole time. Both women scratched their heads in confusion.

Cher was unwilling to let the matter drop.  She called me at home the next morning to complain she still could not see the text using her own computer.  She even sent me an email to prove it... except that in the email she sent me the text was there for me to copy loud and clear. 

Cher and I were both perplexed.  So I wrote my computer guru Gary Richardson about it.

Here is what Gary wrote back:

.............

 -----Original Message-----
From:    TFW Computers  mailto: tfwcomputers@comcast.net
Sent:    Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:15 PM
To:        Rick Archer
Subject:            Re: SSQQ Staff Page and the missing text
Using Internet Explorer, I can see all of the text for you, Cher, Becky and Steve

Since I can’t see the problem they are having, I have no idea what could cause it.   

I know Firefox, Safari, and some other browsers, have problems displaying some web pages properly.   A good question would be: Are you using Microsoft Internet Explorer as your browser?

My guess, they aren’t.  Gary.
........................

 

Rick Archer’s Note: Guess what?  Gary was right.  Read Steve Gabino’s email.

-----Original Message-----
From:    Steve Gabino
Sent:    Tuesday, July 15, 2008 8:23 PM
To:        Becky Bratton; Cher Longoria; Rick Archer
Subject:  Re: SSQQ Staff Page

Yes, I can see it with Explorer. Gary - you DA MAN!

Rick Archer’s Note:  Does anyone else have this blank text problem?  Does anyone know more about what causes it?  It sure seems like a weird problem.

 ..............

The River Crossing Riddle Answer:

He takes the duck over, goes back and gets the grain, takes it over, picks up the duck and takes it back, gets the fox, takes it over, goes back for the duck.

 

And that’s a Wrap!   Thanks for Reading.

 

There were two Newsletter in July

Issue One
Issue Two