The January 2009 SSQQ
Newsletter Issue Two
Written by Rick Archer
WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM
In last week's issue of the Newsletter, I
mentioned that the studio had fallen on financial hardships thanks
to Ike and the downturn in the economy. I also mentioned that
attendance had dropped off 20% in November and December.
So far in January, our attendance has been phenomenal. The energy at
the studio has been wonderful. I realize I have a reputation as
something of a grouch, but let me step out of character and simply
say 'THANK YOU'.
Our Western Waltz class is huge. Our Beginning Whip class is huge.
Our Night Club class is huge. Our Ghost Town class is huge. The
Salsa classes are huge.
People are complaining about the parking again. People are
complaining about crowded classes again. I never thought I would be
so happy to hear people complaining again. It's wonderful!
It is good to see the return of the Buffalo. Hmm, well, maybe not
the best metaphor, especially with all of us feeling fat after
Christmas, but you know what I mean. Marla and I really appreciate
your support.
...........
AN SSQQ LOVE STORY
On Saturday, December 27, Bruce Hanka and Mara Rivas were married in
a wedding ceremony held at their house.
In case you are new to the studio, Bruce and Mara are long-time SSQQ
celebrities of the first order. They have taken practically every
class we have to offer, come to practically every Halloween Party,
and gone on one cruise a year for seven straight years.
Not surprisingly, at this point, as far as I am concerned, they have
moved from 'student' status to 'friend' status in my eyes. Mara said
I could call her my friend as long as I didn't call her my 'old
friend'.
As you might imagine, the story of Bruce and Mara's relationship
played out right before my eyes. And whatever I didn't see myself, I
got the rest from Marla. You see, Mara and Marla are very close and
share those deep dark secrets that men are not privy to. Of course,
Marla is always sworn to secrecy, but she does have permission to
give me the occasional watered-down synopsis of the latest
developments.
Bruce and Mara first met on the 2002 Rhapsody Cruise. That Cruise
was very significant in SSQQ history for a number of reasons. That
was the cruise where Gary Richardson took so many pictures that we
made him the official photographer for our subsequent trips. That
was the cruise where Phyllis Porter rushed the stage during a
"Beatles Concert" to smooch the John Lennon character. Phyllis
enjoyed her subsequent fame so much that she has continued to be
outrageous on every cruise ever since. At this point, Phyllis and
Gary are First Lieutenants on every ssqq dance cruise.
So with all the important things happening on the 2002 Rhapsody
Cruise, you are waiting to hear that Bruce and Mara fell in love at
first site. No, this did not happen. They completely blew a good
story!
After all, on the 2001 Celebration Cruise the previous year, Marla
and I fell in love at first sight. So you would expect the same from
Bruce and Mara, right? Frankly speaking, they dropped the ball. They
dropped the ball again in 2003. They dropped the ball again in 2004.
Gee whiz, they fumbled their chances at ocean romance three straight
years!
So what happened on the 2005 Rhapsody Cruise? Well, in 2005 Bruce
and Mara signed for their fourth straight trip independent of each
other. Marla and I both suspect something happened on that
particular trip. After all, by the time Christmas rolled around,
they were inseparable. But neither person is talking. Which is fine
with me! In the absence of any facts, that allows me to spread more
stupid gossip with total impunity, something I do very well.
And now I invite you to read the entire story of Bruce and Mara's
romance! By the way, both Bruce and Mara said they totally denied
everything I wrote which means I did my usual great job of spreading
salacious rumors!
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2008.htm
..........
THE MATCHMAKER STORY REVISITED
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/matchmaker00.htm
Back in February 2006, Tara Dooley of the Houston Chronicle
interviewed me about the studio's alleged reputation for creating
romances. Ms Dooley included the studio in her 2006 Valentine's
article and said some very kind things about SSQQ.
However as I read her story, I realized she only had enough space to
list one anecdote. Although I certainly understood, I couldn't
contain my disappointment at not seeing the entire story told. So I
sat down and wrote an eight-Chapter story on the history of Romance
here at SSQQ.
Titled "The Matchmaker", among other things, this article reveals
that the studio has been responsible for at least 12 marriages every
year for the past 10 years. You see, I started keeping statistics
when the SSQQ web site first came on line in late 1998.
2008 marks the tenth year of keeping records. I am pleased to note
when it comes to Romance, SSQQ did as well as ever in 2008.
This year's weddings include
15. Bruce Hanka and Mara Rivas
14. Jack Myers and Jo Wilson
13. Patrick Hayes and Shannon Gingles
12. Andrew Laham and Pam Conyne
11. Gary Schweinle and Tracy Kirkland
10. Glenn Hebert and Marissa Gorzynski
09. James Requenez and Melissa Wilkes
08. Robert Therrell and Debra Malinowski
07. Carmen Vito and Nerina Faccini
06. Jeff Anderson and Lisa Ramey
05. Manny Angulo and Michelle Crossley
04. Jim Burrell and Paula Bione
03. Mack Warren and Amy Giles
02. Brit Davis and Melisa Melios
01. Roger Lee and Wendy Zhang
In fact, if it weren't for the terrible tragedy of losing our friend
Gary Schweinle, I would have to say that 2008 was actually a banner
year for SSQQ Romances.
Bruce and Mara's story is classic SSQQ Magic. They took a cruise
together in 2002. Although they didn't connect, they at least become
casual friends. A couple months later they run into each other at
the Halloween Party. This means the studio gave them a Chapter Two.
Although Bruce has a head-start in the dance class department, he
and Mara would still see each other at practice night and dance
together occasionally. That would be Chapter Three. Eventually Mara
began to take some of the same advanced classes that Bruce was in.
This was Chapter Four. Over the next three years, their friendship
became stronger, but they stayed apart because at various times each
was dating someone else. The point is that SSQQ gave them plenty of
Chapters to finally connect.
Anyone who is a veteran of the Singles Scene knows that "Chance and
Romance" are just as much a part of the Dating Game as "Dance and
Romance". Two people may be right for each other, but if they are in
a relationship, they feel an obligation to see things through with
their current partner. 'Timing' is a big part of many relationships.
One of my favorite Country-Western songs is "One Promise Too Late"
by Reba McEntire. I will share some of the lyrics with you.
I would have waited forever
If I'd known that you'd be here
We could have shared our lives together
And held each other close
All through the years
But I met someone before you
And my heart just couldn't wait
So no matter how much I adore you
I've got to stand behind
The promise that I made
Great song!! Ask me to play it for you some time at Practice Night.
Although I tease Bruce and Mara for being so slow to connect with
each other, the truth is that both of them were honest and decent
enough to honor their commitments over a three year period. Thank
goodness for SSQQ. The studio is as constant as the Northern Star.
The studio gave Bruce and Mara the opportunity to keep a covert eye
on each other for all those years until the stars finally aligned
and they were both free at the same time.
I happen to know many of those people who are on the 2008 SSQQ
Wedding List well enough to ask a few personal questions. Or maybe I
don't know them that well, but I am rude enough to think I do. One
of the things I always ask is how they got it started.
To spare the feelings of their loved ones, I will be general and
vague in my comments. I was struck by how many of these people told
me they never once imagined their eventual spouse would ever be
important to them when they first met. We talk about the
'thunderbolt' as part of our romantic mythology, but if we listen to
these people, most romances at SSQQ start very very slowly.
The word I keep hearing over and over is "FRIEND". As opposed to the
bar scene and dating services, SSQQ gives people the unique
advantage of getting to know people over an extended period of time.
As you meet strangers, over time you see how they really are. SSQQ
allows people to warm up GRADUALLY. Bruce and Mara's tale is the
perfect example. The good news is that most of these slow-poke
relationships are rock solid from then on.
Another thing I have noticed is even when people meet through a
dating service or some internet site, they give the studio credit
for helping them cement their relationship after the initial
meeting. We call that 'Seal the Deal'. For example, my friends Karen
and Wil Uecker just returned from six months in Australia. Back when
they got married in March 2006, they gave the studio plenty of
credit for helping each of them to get to know each other.
Here is what they said in an interview right after they got married:
"Wil Uecker and Karen Fess have been taking dance classes together
practically non-stop for a year now. When I decided to check, I was
astonished to see that Wil had taken over 20 classes in less than a
year.
Holy Cow! It might be time to give this guy a free class, what do
you think??
Then I took at Karen's list. She is close to 40 classes. Wow! Karen
started in 2004, Wil in 2005. They have clearly put in their floor
time!
When they announced their engagement in February 2006, I had assumed
they had met in an SSQQ dance class. So I asked which class they met
in.
That is when they told me they met through 'match.com'. I stared at
them blankly. I could have sworn that SSQQ had brought them
together.
Karen broke the ice by saying that after they met on the Internet,
she had suggested to Wil that they take dance classes together. Wil
enjoyed the classes so much that he told Karen he would like to
continue. SSQQ became a big part of their courtship.
So I said, 'match.com or not, You belong to SSQQ! You are on the
list!'
Karen grinned at me. Then she replied, 'We don't mind being on the
list. Otherwise we wouldn't have told you. The fact of the matter is
our fun at learning to dance together and taking classes together
has brought us much closer.' "
The story of Bruce and Mara and the story of Wil and Karen point out
the beauty of a program like SSQQ where people meet in a relaxed
fashion that allows them to act naturally over a lengthy period of
time.
Thanks to Marla Archer, her successful Cruise program has added yet
another powerful opportunity for people to get to know each other as
well. Seven days of non-stop dancing and non-stop hot-tubbing might
seem silly on the surface, but you can learn a lot about a person in
seven days, especially when you have absolutely nothing else you are
required to do. And as Bruce and Mara show, you can make friends on
one trip, wait a while, and take a future trip as a couple. In other
words, people you meet today may become important tomorrow and the
studio allows that to happen.
SSQQ is probably closer to a church singles group than any other
type of organization that I can think of. People compare us to dance
hall, but I still think we are more of church singles group where
everyone looks out for everyone else. The other night I was sitting
next to a lady friend. I spotted a guy I happened to like and asked
the lady why she didn't check him out. She laughed and said she
already had. The word on the street was that he was a 'player'.
Well, I thought that was an interesting comment. I replied that some
people said the same thing about me at one point. But when I met the
right woman, that rap disappeared completely. I also said I was
impressed to learn there is a secret network that exists at the
studio. This network appears to have a dating dossier on practically
everyone! So you better watch out. Santa knows who's been naughty
and who's been nice.
SSQQ does not promise an instant payoff. Nor does it promise
guaranteed success. I remember one of our female teachers dated men
she met here at the studio for fifteen years without finding a
keeper. Then she met the love of her life at an internet dating
site. But I also know other women who say they were horribly burned
by men they met via the Internet
(Read Internet Deceit:
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romanceinternet.htm
No one ever said Love is easy to find. There is one Thoroughly
Modern Woman here at the studio who told me finding Love is like
diversifying stock. She is a member of a Houston dating service. She
is a member of an Internet Dating Service. She also goes to every
professional meeting she hears of more for the new men she might
meet than actual business reasons. Finally she takes at least one
dance class a month here at the studio just to scout each new rookie
class.
TMW says she isn't sure which venue is going to pay off, but so far
she has had the most fun here at the studio. It is a little scary to
meet a woman as calculating and ruthlessly thorough at pursuing men
as she is, but I will admit I am secretly flattered she lists SSQQ
as one of her four prime venues.
All I can say is that fifteen couples who made the studio a major
part of their courtship got married in 2008. And there are probably
several more who got married but haven't confessed yet. I will
simply say I will match those numbers against any organization in
the city.
The Matchmaker Story is now almost three years old. And since I
wrote it, 77 more couples who have met here at SSQQ have gotten
engaged and married. Nor is that total any sort of exception. We
have ten years of statistics that prove year in, year out, Slow
Dance and Romance go hand in hand here at SSQQ.
Skeptical? Go look for yourself.
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/
............
GARELD AND VIRGINIA MCEATHRON ARE IN A SERIOUS CAR ACCIDENT
I will start this story by saying I think both people are okay. As I
write, Gareld is in the hospital at Methodist.
I will share the email I received from Deborah Taylor, Gareld's
daughter.
EMAIL ONE
From: Deborah Taylor
Sent: Thursday, January 08, 2009 6:33 PM
Subject: Gareld & Virginia McEathron
Hi Marla and Rick,
I just want to let you and all our SSQQ friends know that Dad and
Virginia were in a serious auto accident on Tuesday night. Thank God
they are both going to be fine, but Dad is still in hospital at
Methodist tonight.
Virginia suffered multiple bumps bruises and cuts, but she is just
sore today.
Dad suffered a pneumothorax, a fractured sternum and a fractured
vertebra in his neck (C-5) but thankfully does not need surgery. He
got his chest tube out today and if all goes well, he may be
released tomorrow!
I know people will want to know what happened. Are you familiar with
that interchange on West Loop 610near Bellaire where you approach 59
heading north???
Dad was changing lanes to try to get out of the way of all the folks
who just stop in that outer lane at the last moment to try to squirm
into the 59 lanes. Dad said he had just glanced up into his mirror
when he saw Virginia throw her hands up.
Some guy had stopped dead in front of him to wait for an opening
just as Dad had averted his eyes. Dad couldn't stop and probably
plowed into the guy going more than 50mph.
The seat belt and airbags are what injured them, but at the same
time, they would have surely been dead without them.
The good news is that the doctors have all said that he should be
dancing again in no time! I am looking forward to seeing him back on
his dancing toes as I know many of the ladies are!
(RICK ARCHER'S NOTE: My friend Kathleen Ballanfant at the local
Bellaire newspaper said her daughter Andy once researched this spot
on the freeway. Andy confirmed her suspicion - this location is the
most dangerous spot in all of Texas. There are more accidents in
this area than any other spot in the state. What is pathetic is that
the engineers redesigned this area as part of the West Loop upgrade
a couple years back. They made significant changes. As a result, the
accidents rate went up. Thank goodness these same engineers don't
work for NASA.)
......
MARLA ARCHER ANNOUNCES THE 2009 SUMMER DANCE CRUISE
From: Marla Archer
Sent: Friday, January 09, 2009 2:23 PM
Subject: Conquest 2009
Happy New Year Everyone!
The Holidays are behind us and we have rung in the New Year, so our
thoughts may now focus on Cruise Adventures for 2009.
I am pleased to officially announce SSQQ's 2009 End of Summer
Caribbean Cruise. We will be once again be cruising the beautiful
Western Caribbean on Carnival's fabulous Conquest from August 23rd
through August 30th. It will truly be a Same Time, Next Year
vacation.
Our annual cruise event is a week-long party that is surely not to
be missed! Be sure to mark your vacation time accordingly, and then
let me know if you will be joining us for another fun-filled week of
adventures as we dance our way across the Caribbean Sea.
I know that several of you had requested that we take the alternate
Bahamas itinerary; however that cruise was price prohibitive. The
opening rate for an inside cabin on the August sailing was $972 and
it increased from there.
On the other hand, our Western Caribbean sailing is very affordable.
For example, an Inside Cabin is only $619, which compared to the
Bahamas price is $350 less.
One of these days we will go to the Bahamas, but during our
country's economic slump I think we need to go with the more
economical trip. This way more people can participate in our annual
trip.
Per Person Double Occupancy Pricing is as follows:
Inside Category 4B -- $619
Oceanview Category 6B -- $739
Balcony Category 8B -- $929
You may read further about it at the following link:
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/conquest2009.htm
As always you may email, fax or hand me your registration form:
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/conquest2009registration.htm
I hope you will all join us for another fun-filled, action packed
cruise as we dance our way across the Caribbean Sea!
Wishing you the best in 2009,
Marla Archer
SSQQ Dance Studio
marla@ssqq.com
713 862-4428
......
COMINGS AND GOINGS
COMING I have already mentioned that Wil and Karen Uecker have just
returned from a six-month trip to Australia. Wil was over there as a
visiting professor. I saw them both at our recent New Year's Eve
Party here at the studio. Karen reports they love to dance in
Australia, but there was something odd about the dancing. I vaguely
recall Karen said there was no one around to teach it. Or maybe she
said the public transportation was so bad that they had trouble
attending the events. You know, this may be a Newsletter, but no one
ever said it was a Newspaper. If you want cold hard facts, buy a
Chronicle. What do you expect for free? In the meantime, I will try
to clarify this thought for the next Newsletter.
GOING I am glad to get Karen and Wil back, because we just lost
George Parker for six months. George is an architect who has been
given a special assignment in Chicago. George has been such a
Western Night fixture here at the studio for a long time that Becky
Bratton recently asked him to help her co-teach a Western class on
Friday Nights. By the way, that's what happens if you hang around
here too long. People get so used to you they either begin to sit on
you like you're part of the furniture or they ask you teach. Well,
just about the time George and Becky were starting to figure out
what they were doing, now George has to leave town for a while. Oh
well. We are at least comforted by the fact that he has a house and
his beautiful wife Cindy here in Houston, so I am pretty sure he
will back one of these days!
GOING Say goodbye to my wonderful friend Conor O'Muirgheasa. Conor
has been a huge part of this studio for three solid years taking
Swing, Western, and Whip. During this time, Conor has become a great
dancer! In addition, Conor has joined us for our past three dance
cruises. Conor is from Ireland. What a great accent! If you listen
to him, you can picture 'Dublin' in your mind. Most of all, Conor is
a really neat guy. He and I were just on the verge of becoming
friends when he had to leave. Conor is heading off to Iraq for at
least a year. He will be involved in the distribution of supplies
for the Army. Conor candidly admits he is heading over there for the
money. He says they are paying him a King's Ransom for this job.
Since his daughter Fi and other family members are here in Houston,
I guess we will see him again one of these days. However Conor says
for tax reasons it would cost him a lot of money to return to the
States, so he says he expects to take his vacation time in Ireland
instead. Still, if we ever schedule a cruise to Baghdad, be sure to
let him know!
COMING One person I am really happy to see is my friend George Grega.
Between George, me, and Gary Richardson, we are the three old guys.
George G is one of Gary Richardson's best friends. They go to lunch
together all the time. Since I was over at Gary's Computer Store all
the time, it was inevitable I would run into George eventually. They
invited me to join them for lunch one day and that's how George
became my friend too. George was once the head of a Science
Department over at the University of Houston. George is a big teddy
bear of a guy and one of the most likeable people you will ever
meet. It soon became obvious to me why he was such a success at U of
H. After he retired, his great personality came in handy again.
George opened up a new business supplying lighting, music equipment,
and staging for weddings and any kind of party or special event that
needed his services.
(http://ssqq.com/information/gregagtgevents.htm )
One day in 2003 George asked me if I would mind if he did the
lighting for one of the studio's Halloween Parties. I said sure,
give it a try. Well, to be frank, the lighting was awesome! Ever
since then, every year George has done the lighting for our
Halloween Party, Christmas Party, and New Years Party. We are all
very much in his debt for this service. George has been gone from
the studio for all of 2008. His business carries him from coast to
coast. He has met many celebrities and I believe he even had an
engagement involving President Bush. So I haven't much of the guy.
However this year, George decided to run the lighting himself. This
gave me the chance to sit with him at the New Year's Party and catch
up on old times. I lamented how tough things had been around here at
the studio recently thanks to Hurricane Ike. George nodded wistfully
and said the same thing had happened to him. He said he hadn't even
been paid for two months. I looked at him and asked why not. He said
that after the hurricane, every one of his customers for two months
had canceled their engagements. Talk about a gut punch! Here I was
feeling sorry for myself and I completely overlooked that there were
a lot of people in this city and Galveston who lost a lot more than
I ever did. At the end of the party I offered to pay George for
running the lights. After all, I always pay the young men who run
the lights when George isn't around. George smiled and said he
didn't want to be paid. He said it was his gift and that he loved
doing what he can to make this time of the year special for
everyone. George also said he plans to be back in Swing class this
year. If you are a girl and you see him, give him a big hug for me.
He likes that.
GOING I will miss Paul Bolchover. He says would be leaving for China
of all places. I always knew we would lose Paul someday, but I hoped
it wouldn't happen. You see, Paul was on loan to us from England.
Paul has always been a delight. Not only is he PhD smart, he picks
up dance moves as fast as anyone I have ever met. And best of all,
he is probably the one person who takes my dance classes who doesn't
have a smart mouth. Gosh am I going to miss him! Back in December
2007 I wrote a lengthy story about Paul.
#17 A British View of Western Dancing
http://www.ssqq.com/newsletter/news200712dec.htm#17
You see, one day Google led me to an article written in a Cambridge
University Dance Magazine about dancing in Texas. I saw my name
liberally mentioned in this article. I finally figured out who had
written this story. As I Googled some more, I found out that Paul
was a member of an Assassination Society at Cambridge University.
That's how I discovered that Paul had come to Houston to escape
punishment for his crimes. My guess is they found out where he is
hiding so Paul has to move on to China for refuge purposes. Paul was
always very quiet here at the studio. He was so polite and such a
great dancer, I am sure the ladies will remember him immediately. I
hope Paul comes back to visit some day.
COMING Neal Pellis of all people showed up in Martian Whip dance
class last Monday. I was stunned! I had not seen Neal in several
years. Neal was a member of our incredible SSQQ Swing Dance Team
back in the late Nineties. This Dance Team somehow became embroiled
in the ugliest controversy in the history of the studio. A black
dance teacher from another studio claimed that SSQQ had racially
discriminated against him. While it was true we had discriminated
against him, it had nothing to do with race. The guy was simply the
biggest traitor this studio had ever known. But you will have to
read the story to understand.
http://www.ssqq.com/stories/controversy1998.htm
Neal was one of the most popular members of the dance team. At one
point, Neal told me he felt about me like his Dad. This is a true
story. Since I was quite a bit older than he was, Neal liked to call
me 'Dad'. One day he went to an audio-visual store to help me pick
up some new equipment to replace something that broke here at the
studio. He was going to help me carry this stuff to the car since I
was so old and decrepit. While we were in the store, Neal spotted
the most incredible plasma TV for sale. Like a little kid, he
grabbed me by my sleeve and tugged me over to look at it. Indeed it
was a beautiful TV. Price Tag $20,000. Neal said if I would buy him
this TV, I could adopt him and he would attempt to show warmth and
respect and I could claim him as the son I never had. He said that
not only would he show me warmth and respect, he would write me a
letter once a week asking for money so I would feel parental. What a
great deal!
Neal later went on to become one of our most popular Swing dance
instructors. Then one day he said he was returning to school, so he
to resign. That was several years ago. I wasn't the only person
happy to see Neal... his good friend Maureen Brunetti was happy to
see him back as well. Here is hoping Neal sticks around. He is a
really neat guy. He is also up for adoption again I hear.
COMINGS AND GOINGS
COMING I have already mentioned that Wil and Karen Uecker have just
returned from a six-month trip to Australia. Wil was over there as a
visiting professor. I saw them both at our recent New Year's Eve
Party here at the studio. Karen reports they love to dance in
Australia, but there was something odd about the dancing. I vaguely
recall Karen said there was no one around to teach it. Or maybe she
said the public transportation was so bad that they had trouble
attending the events. You know, this may be a Newsletter, but no one
ever said it was a Newspaper. If you want cold hard facts, buy a
Chronicle. What do you expect for free? In the meantime, I will try
to clarify this thought for the next Newsletter.
GOING I am glad to get Karen and Wil back, because we just lost
George Parker for six months. George is an architect who has been
given a special assignment in Chicago. George has been such a
Western Night fixture here at the studio for a long time that Becky
Bratton recently asked him to help her co-teach a Western class on
Friday Nights. By the way, that's what happens if you hang around
here too long. People get so used to you they either begin to sit on
you like you're part of the furniture or they ask you teach. Well,
just about the time George and Becky were starting to figure out
what they were doing, now George has to leave town for a while. Oh
well. We are at least comforted by the fact that he has a house and
his beautiful wife Cindy here in Houston, so I am pretty sure he
will back one of these days!
GOING Say goodbye to my wonderful friend Conor O'Muirgheasa. Conor
has been a huge part of this studio for three solid years taking
Swing, Western, and Whip. During this time, Conor has become a great
dancer! In addition, Conor has joined us for our past three dance
cruises. Conor is from Ireland. What a great accent! If you listen
to him, you can picture 'Dublin' in your mind. Most of all, Conor is
a really neat guy. He and I were just on the verge of becoming
friends when he had to leave. Conor is heading off to Iraq for at
least a year. He will be involved in the distribution of supplies
for the Army. Conor candidly admits he is heading over there for the
money. He says they are paying him a King's Ransom for this job.
Since his daughter Fi and other family members are here in Houston,
I guess we will see him again one of these days. However Conor says
for tax reasons it would cost him a lot of money to return to the
States, so he says he expects to take his vacation time in Ireland
instead. Still, if we ever schedule a cruise to Baghdad, be sure to
let him know!
COMING One person I am really happy to see is my friend George Grega.
Between George, me, and Gary Richardson, we are the three old guys.
George G is one of Gary Richardson's best friends. They go to lunch
together all the time. Since I was over at Gary's Computer Store all
the time, it was inevitable I would run into George eventually. They
invited me to join them for lunch one day and that's how George
became my friend too. George was once the head of a Science
Department over at the University of Houston. George is a big teddy
bear of a guy and one of the most likeable people you will ever
meet. It soon became obvious to me why he was such a success at U of
H. After he retired, his great personality came in handy again.
George opened up a new business supplying lighting, music equipment,
and staging for weddings and any kind of party or special event that
needed his services.
(http://ssqq.com/information/gregagtgevents.htm )
One day in 2003 George asked me if I would mind if he did the
lighting for one of the studio's Halloween Parties. I said sure,
give it a try. Well, to be frank, the lighting was awesome! Ever
since then, every year George has done the lighting for our
Halloween Party, Christmas Party, and New Years Party. We are all
very much in his debt for this service. George has been gone from
the studio for all of 2008. His business carries him from coast to
coast. He has met many celebrities and I believe he even had an
engagement involving President Bush. So I haven't much of the guy.
However this year, George decided to run the lighting himself. This
gave me the chance to sit with him at the New Year's Party and catch
up on old times. I lamented how tough things had been around here at
the studio recently thanks to Hurricane Ike. George nodded wistfully
and said the same thing had happened to him. He said he hadn't even
been paid for two months. I looked at him and asked why not. He said
that after the hurricane, every one of his customers for two months
had canceled their engagements. Talk about a gut punch! Here I was
feeling sorry for myself and I completely overlooked that there were
a lot of people in this city and Galveston who lost a lot more than
I ever did. At the end of the party I offered to pay George for
running the lights. After all, I always pay the young men who run
the lights when George isn't around. George smiled and said he
didn't want to be paid. He said it was his gift and that he loved
doing what he can to make this time of the year special for
everyone. George also said he plans to be back in Swing class this
year. If you are a girl and you see him, give him a big hug for me.
He likes that.
GOING I will miss Paul Bolchover. He says would be leaving for China
of all places. I always knew we would lose Paul someday, but I hoped
it wouldn't happen. You see, Paul was on loan to us from England.
Paul has always been a delight. Not only is he PhD smart, he picks
up dance moves as fast as anyone I have ever met. And best of all,
he is probably the one person who takes my dance classes who doesn't
have a smart mouth. Gosh am I going to miss him! Back in December
2007 I wrote a lengthy story about Paul.
#17 A British View of Western Dancing
http://www.ssqq.com/newsletter/news200712dec.htm#17
You see, one day Google led me to an article written in a Cambridge
University Dance Magazine about dancing in Texas. I saw my name
liberally mentioned in this article. I finally figured out who had
written this story. As I Googled some more, I found out that Paul
was a member of an Assassination Society at Cambridge University.
That's how I discovered that Paul had come to Houston to escape
punishment for his crimes. My guess is they found out where he is
hiding so Paul has to move on to China for refuge purposes. Paul was
always very quiet here at the studio. He was so polite and such a
great dancer, I am sure the ladies will remember him immediately. I
hope Paul comes back to visit some day.
COMING Neal Pellis of all people showed up in Martian Whip dance
class last Monday. I was stunned! I had not seen Neal in several
years. Neal was a member of our incredible SSQQ Swing Dance Team
back in the late Nineties. This Dance Team somehow became embroiled
in the ugliest controversy in the history of the studio. A black
dance teacher from another studio claimed that SSQQ had racially
discriminated against him. While it was true we had discriminated
against him, it had nothing to do with race. The guy was simply the
biggest traitor this studio had ever known. But you will have to
read the story to understand.
http://www.ssqq.com/stories/controversy1998.htm
Neal was one of the most popular members of the dance team. At one
point, Neal told me he felt about me like his Dad. This is a true
story. Since I was quite a bit older than he was, Neal liked to call
me 'Dad'. One day he went to an audio-visual store to help me pick
up some new equipment to replace something that broke here at the
studio. He was going to help me carry this stuff to the car since I
was so old and decrepit. While we were in the store, Neal spotted
the most incredible plasma TV for sale. Like a little kid, he
grabbed me by my sleeve and tugged me over to look at it. Indeed it
was a beautiful TV. Price Tag $20,000. Neal said if I would buy him
this TV, I could adopt him and he would attempt to show warmth and
respect and I could claim him as the son I never had. He said that
not only would he show me warmth and respect, he would write me a
letter once a week asking for money so I would feel parental. What a
great deal!
Neal later went on to become one of our most popular Swing dance
instructors. Then one day he said he was returning to school, so he
to resign. That was several years ago. I wasn't the only person
happy to see Neal... his good friend Maureen Brunetti was happy to
see him back as well. Here is hoping Neal sticks around. He is a
really neat guy. He is also up for adoption again I hear.
COMING Peter Shores is back! Better tighten your seat belts, he is
quite a character. Neal Pellis was a big part of the studio TEN
YEARS ago. Well, Peter Shores was a big part of the studio TWENTY
YEARS ago. Eighteen years to be exact. Peter was one of our
Country-Western teachers. Alas, Peter met a very pretty girl named
Leslie. They got married and had two boys. Unfortunately the
marriage didn't last. I saw Peter a year ago and he was in the
devastation stage. However when I saw Peter at our recent New Year's
Eve Party, he seemed like the old Peter... handsome, happy, and
funny. Funny is an understatement. Peter is probably the single
funniest guy to ever hang around here.
I will share one anecdote. At our 1991 Sock Hop, Peter came dressed
as a Nerd. And let me tell you - Peter stayed in character all
night. Not only did he wear a "Kick Me" sign on his backside, his
mannerisms and the stupid things he said were so nerdlike that
people kicked him upside down all night long because he deserved
it!!! The guy was too goofy! People were cracking up all night long!
He was so funny people had to get in line for their chance to kick
him.
Well, that was the night that I had the debut of my brand new line
dance known as the "California Raisin Dance". Gosh, I had been
working on this dance for two months. Since Peter was on Staff, he
knew how serious I was about the Raisin Dance. It was my baby, my
pride and joy. That night at the Sock Hop, none of my students knew
this dance because it was brand new! Since it wasn't that hard a
dance, I demonstrated it a couple times and people more or less
caught. I knew as long as they could watch me during the song,
that's really all it took. So we put on the music for the maiden
voyage of my spectacular new dance. That's right; world premiere!
The moment the music comes on, Peter the Nerd starts dancing like he
is having an epileptic seizure! I had no clue he had planned this
ahead of time. He caught me totally off-guard. Peter was good. He
was awesome! He was so bad he was incredible. And Peter was standing
right behind me! He was right there in the mirror. How could I not
watch him! His arms flailed, his feet kicked in opposite directions,
his faced twitched! I tried to look away. I didn't know the Raisin
Dance well enough to handle this kind of distraction. Furthermore
every person in the room was watching me trying to copy my moves. At
least one hundred people were dancing 'simon-says' style by
imitating my steps.
So here is Peter the Nerd having seizures and I am supposed to be
everyone's pillar of strength. It's like trying not to sneeze. I had
to look. But I couldn't look, so I had to look away. Then I had to
look again. Gosh, Peter was funny! His arm twitched and he jerked
his head like a monster in "Thriller". I had to look away! I was
losing it so badly. I couldn't concentrate! Then Peter started to
snort. No fair! Shut up, darn it! Just shut up, will you! He started
snorting like a pig...and that did it. I forgot what step I was
doing. Horror broke all over me. It was like dropping a touchdown
pass with the whole world watching. I was so embarrassed. But then I
saw Peter staring at me with such disappointment. My shame turned
into hysterical laughter. I was helpless to stop. I completely broke
down laughing. Everyone in the room stopped too. The entire dance
was ruined! We hadn't even made it halfway through.
Peter immediately began to protest. He said, "Rick, don't stop. I
need you. I can't do this dance without you! I need to see how you
move your feet. Please start dancing. This is favorite dance. I love
this dance! It's the only dance I can do. All the other dances are
too hard for me. But without you I'm hopeless. Rick, you're my hero.
Please don't stop!"
Meanwhile I am too convulsed with laughter to move. I wasn't alone.
The entire studio was cracking up. They either laughing at him or
laughing at me or both. I was beyond hope. I was doubled over. I was
laughing so hard it was uncontrollable. My sides began to hurt!
Peter showed NO MERCY. "Rick, how could you let me down like this? I
told you that you were my hero. Didn't you hear me? I told you that
you are the only teacher who has ever shown interest in me. Please
dance. Just try. Oh no, you aren't going to dance any more, are you?
You are letting me down. Everyone I have ever believed in lets me
down. Not you too! You're the best teacher I have ever had. You're
my favorite teacher of all time! Rick, please don't let me down. I
practiced all week for this moment. I was counting on you to help
me! I am depending on you! Now get up and try again! Be a
professional! Don't just quit. You fall down, you get back up. Hey,
wasn't this supposed to be the best dance you ever invented? Now get
back up and dance!"
Peter had ruined my Raisin Dance. In fact, he nearly put me in the
loony bin. To this day, I don't perform that dance here at studio
without thinking of Peter the Nerd. He and the Raisin Dance are
permanently fused in my mind.
Welcome back, Peter. Just don't come as a Nerd to the party this
year. I don't think I could take it again!
..............
JOKE OF THE DAY - THE GAMBLER AND THE IRS
Contributed by Charlie Denton
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa Max for a lot of fishy stuff on his
return. Max receives a summons to the IRS office.
Considering how bizarre the return is, the IRS auditor was not
surprised when Grandpa Max showed up with an attorney in tow.
The auditor started with, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment. How do you explain that?"
Max replied, "I am a Gambler. I win a lot of money gambling. There's
a mark in every city just waiting to support me."
The auditor replied, "I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
"I am a great gambler and I can prove it," says Grandpa Max. "How
about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead. Show me
what you can do."
Grandpa Max says, 'I'll bet you a hundred bucks that I can bite my
own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."
Max removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Max is just warming up. "I'll give you a chance to win your money
back. I'll bet you two hundred bucks that I can bite my other eye."
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa Max isn't blind, so he takes the
bet.
Grandpa Max removes his dentures and bites his good eye. Obviously
he has played this game before since he knows all the moves. The
stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three hundred
dollars in the space of one minute with Grandpa's attorney as a
witness. The auditor starts to get nervous.
"You seem like a nice guy. I'll give you another chance. Let's go
double or nothing. I'll bet you six hundred dollars that I can stand
on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other
side of the room and never get a single drop anywhere on the floor
in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but this is a
preposterous stunt. But since he has been burned twice, he is more
careful now. The auditor looks over the entire situation, reviews
the old guy's boast, then concludes there's no way Grandpa could
possibly manage that stunt. This is his chance to put Grandpa in
his, so he agrees to the new bet.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on
the other side. In fact, he doesn't even come close. Basically he
pretty much dribbles all over the auditor's brand new desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a
major loss into a huge win. The old guy wasn't so smart after all!
But Grandpa Max grins as his own attorney moans and puts his head in
his hands. The attorney looks like he is about to be sick.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"No, not really," says the attorney."This morning, when Max told me
he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me a thousand dollars that
he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be
happy about it! I told him I would not only give him a thousand
dollars, but I would work for free just to see it happen."
.............
AND THAT'S A WRAP! One more favor... will someone explain that joke
to Cher Longoria for me? No one helped her with the last one and I
didn't have half an hour to walk her through it.