Issue
One
The January 2009 SSQQ
Newsletter
Issue One
Written by Rick Archer
Next week I will be writing a lengthy Newsletter, but today's
Newsletter will be brief. I need to spend today taking down the
Christmas decorations so we can start classes next week.
As many of you know via the grapevine, my Mother passed away over
the Christmas break. Mary was 83 years old. I assure you she was
able to live a long and quite adventurous life. Considering she
outlived her 2 brothers and her sister by an average of 30 years, I
would say my mother definitely won the longevity competition. On the
bright side, Mom had all her wits right up to the end. Mary was able
to see visitors and say her goodbyes with a certain amount of
dignity.
As for me, I am doing okay. I won't lie and say I am not shaken by
the experience, but I did most of my grieving over the Holidays. I
am ready to move on.
Oh gee, wasn't 2008 a terrible year? I can't even begin to grasp all
the horrible things that happened last year.
We started off the year with those frightening surges in the gas
prices. Little could we have possibly imagined then that was nothing
compared to what was coming next.
And Hurricane Ike!!! Oh my. People point out that Ike was four
months ago, but the effects still linger today. The studio was put
in shock by the deaths of our two friends Michael and Gary during
the hurricane.
Let me tell you something, when it comes to people dying, I have
been pretty lucky all the way through 2007. Believe it or not, until
we lost my friend John Jones in 2007, I had never been to a single
funeral or service in my life. 2008 changed that in a big way. Now I
have been to four funerals. Enough said.
Everybody I talk to points out how Ike affected their business in
terrible ways. SSQQ was certainly not spared. Sad to say, attendance
has been off 20% ever since the hurricane. And that's just for
starters. All kinds of things at the studio were fried by bad
electricity - the coke machine, the ice machine, the cooler, and the
TV were all damaged. Then for good measure, the hurricane took out
our SSQQ sign. To this day we still don't have our front sign fixed!
Then the nation's economy tanked. I don't need to say one more word
about that. We are all still worried sick about that headache.
My landlord installed some sort of special lighting outside, then
slapped SSQQ with a $12,000 surcharge in October. At this time,
words cannot begin to describe my exact feelings on this issue.
As a final insult, our studio's main air-conditioner broke in
December. It lost its most important part! Unfortunately, this part
doesn't even exist anymore since the AC unit is so old. So my AC
company had to have the new part specially built out in Virginia
somewhere. The new part is expected to be ready any day now. Cost?
Estimated around $5,000, but probably more after labor is added in.
This blow was 2008's final sucker punch.
The good news is that the studio has five other AC units to get the
job done until the main system is fixed. And although we don't have
our overhead sign fixed, most of you know how to find us.
You know what? Rumors of our demise are ridiculous. I am not
retiring; the studio has 16 months left on its lease. SSQQ took some
terrible blows in 2008, but our business is healthy. Yes, we are
poorer today than we were back in August, but on the bright side we
don't owe anybody one cent in debt.
SSQQ is ready to Rock and Roll.
I am ready for things to get better in 2009. What about the rest of
you?
Here is a suggestion for a good way to get 2009 off to a great
start: Take a dance class at SSQQ.
|
Issue
Two
The January 2009 SSQQ
Newsletter Issue Two
Written by Rick Archer
WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM
In last week's issue of the Newsletter, I
mentioned that the studio had fallen on financial hardships thanks
to Ike and the downturn in the economy. I also mentioned that
attendance had dropped off 20% in November and December.
So far in January, our attendance has been phenomenal. The energy at
the studio has been wonderful. I realize I have a reputation as
something of a grouch, but let me step out of character and simply
say 'THANK YOU'.
Our Western Waltz class is huge. Our Beginning Whip class is huge.
Our Night Club class is huge. Our Ghost Town class is huge. The
Salsa classes are huge.
People are complaining about the parking again. People are
complaining about crowded classes again. I never thought I would be
so happy to hear people complaining again. It's wonderful!
It is good to see the return of the Buffalo. Hmm, well, maybe not
the best metaphor, especially with all of us feeling fat after
Christmas, but you know what I mean. Marla and I really appreciate
your support.
...........
AN SSQQ LOVE STORY
On Saturday, December 27, Bruce Hanka and Mara Rivas were married in
a wedding ceremony held at their house.
In case you are new to the studio, Bruce and Mara are long-time SSQQ
celebrities of the first order. They have taken practically every
class we have to offer, come to practically every Halloween Party,
and gone on one cruise a year for seven straight years.
Not surprisingly, at this point, as far as I am concerned, they have
moved from 'student' status to 'friend' status in my eyes. Mara said
I could call her my friend as long as I didn't call her my 'old
friend'.
As you might imagine, the story of Bruce and Mara's relationship
played out right before my eyes. And whatever I didn't see myself, I
got the rest from Marla. You see, Mara and Marla are very close and
share those deep dark secrets that men are not privy to. Of course,
Marla is always sworn to secrecy, but she does have permission to
give me the occasional watered-down synopsis of the latest
developments.
Bruce and Mara first met on the 2002 Rhapsody Cruise. That Cruise
was very significant in SSQQ history for a number of reasons. That
was the cruise where Gary Richardson took so many pictures that we
made him the official photographer for our subsequent trips. That
was the cruise where Phyllis Porter rushed the stage during a
"Beatles Concert" to smooch the John Lennon character. Phyllis
enjoyed her subsequent fame so much that she has continued to be
outrageous on every cruise ever since. At this point, Phyllis and
Gary are First Lieutenants on every ssqq dance cruise.
So with all the important things happening on the 2002 Rhapsody
Cruise, you are waiting to hear that Bruce and Mara fell in love at
first site. No, this did not happen. They completely blew a good
story!
After all, on the 2001 Celebration Cruise the previous year, Marla
and I fell in love at first sight. So you would expect the same from
Bruce and Mara, right? Frankly speaking, they dropped the ball. They
dropped the ball again in 2003. They dropped the ball again in 2004.
Gee whiz, they fumbled their chances at ocean romance three straight
years!
So what happened on the 2005 Rhapsody Cruise? Well, in 2005 Bruce
and Mara signed for their fourth straight trip independent of each
other. Marla and I both suspect something happened on that
particular trip. After all, by the time Christmas rolled around,
they were inseparable. But neither person is talking. Which is fine
with me! In the absence of any facts, that allows me to spread more
stupid gossip with total impunity, something I do very well.
And now I invite you to read the entire story of Bruce and Mara's
romance! By the way, both Bruce and Mara said they totally denied
everything I wrote which means I did my usual great job of spreading
salacious rumors!
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2008.htm
..........
THE MATCHMAKER STORY REVISITED
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/matchmaker00.htm
Back in February 2006, Tara Dooley of the Houston Chronicle
interviewed me about the studio's alleged reputation for creating
romances. Ms Dooley included the studio in her 2006 Valentine's
article and said some very kind things about SSQQ.
However as I read her story, I realized she only had enough space to
list one anecdote. Although I certainly understood, I couldn't
contain my disappointment at not seeing the entire story told. So I
sat down and wrote an eight-Chapter story on the history of Romance
here at SSQQ.
Titled "The Matchmaker", among other things, this article reveals
that the studio has been responsible for at least 12 marriages every
year for the past 10 years. You see, I started keeping statistics
when the SSQQ web site first came on line in late 1998.
2008 marks the tenth year of keeping records. I am pleased to note
when it comes to Romance, SSQQ did as well as ever in 2008.
This year's weddings include
15. Bruce Hanka and Mara Rivas
14. Jack Myers and Jo Wilson
13. Patrick Hayes and Shannon Gingles
12. Andrew Laham and Pam Conyne
11. Gary Schweinle and Tracy Kirkland
10. Glenn Hebert and Marissa Gorzynski
09. James Requenez and Melissa Wilkes
08. Robert Therrell and Debra Malinowski
07. Carmen Vito and Nerina Faccini
06. Jeff Anderson and Lisa Ramey
05. Manny Angulo and Michelle Crossley
04. Jim Burrell and Paula Bione
03. Mack Warren and Amy Giles
02. Brit Davis and Melisa Melios
01. Roger Lee and Wendy Zhang
In fact, if it weren't for the terrible tragedy of losing our friend
Gary Schweinle, I would have to say that 2008 was actually a banner
year for SSQQ Romances.
Bruce and Mara's story is classic SSQQ Magic. They took a cruise
together in 2002. Although they didn't connect, they at least become
casual friends. A couple months later they run into each other at
the Halloween Party. This means the studio gave them a Chapter Two.
Although Bruce has a head-start in the dance class department, he
and Mara would still see each other at practice night and dance
together occasionally. That would be Chapter Three. Eventually Mara
began to take some of the same advanced classes that Bruce was in.
This was Chapter Four. Over the next three years, their friendship
became stronger, but they stayed apart because at various times each
was dating someone else. The point is that SSQQ gave them plenty of
Chapters to finally connect.
Anyone who is a veteran of the Singles Scene knows that "Chance and
Romance" are just as much a part of the Dating Game as "Dance and
Romance". Two people may be right for each other, but if they are in
a relationship, they feel an obligation to see things through with
their current partner. 'Timing' is a big part of many relationships.
One of my favorite Country-Western songs is "One Promise Too Late"
by Reba McEntire. I will share some of the lyrics with you.
I would have waited forever
If I'd known that you'd be here
We could have shared our lives together
And held each other close
All through the years
But I met someone before you
And my heart just couldn't wait
So no matter how much I adore you
I've got to stand behind
The promise that I made
Great song!! Ask me to play it for you some time at Practice Night.
Although I tease Bruce and Mara for being so slow to connect with
each other, the truth is that both of them were honest and decent
enough to honor their commitments over a three year period. Thank
goodness for SSQQ. The studio is as constant as the Northern Star.
The studio gave Bruce and Mara the opportunity to keep a covert eye
on each other for all those years until the stars finally aligned
and they were both free at the same time.
I happen to know many of those people who are on the 2008 SSQQ
Wedding List well enough to ask a few personal questions. Or maybe I
don't know them that well, but I am rude enough to think I do. One
of the things I always ask is how they got it started.
To spare the feelings of their loved ones, I will be general and
vague in my comments. I was struck by how many of these people told
me they never once imagined their eventual spouse would ever be
important to them when they first met. We talk about the
'thunderbolt' as part of our romantic mythology, but if we listen to
these people, most romances at SSQQ start very very slowly.
The word I keep hearing over and over is "FRIEND". As opposed to the
bar scene and dating services, SSQQ gives people the unique
advantage of getting to know people over an extended period of time.
As you meet strangers, over time you see how they really are. SSQQ
allows people to warm up GRADUALLY. Bruce and Mara's tale is the
perfect example. The good news is that most of these slow-poke
relationships are rock solid from then on.
Another thing I have noticed is even when people meet through a
dating service or some internet site, they give the studio credit
for helping them cement their relationship after the initial
meeting. We call that 'Seal the Deal'. For example, my friends Karen
and Wil Uecker just returned from six months in Australia. Back when
they got married in March 2006, they gave the studio plenty of
credit for helping each of them to get to know each other.
Here is what they said in an interview right after they got married:
"Wil Uecker and Karen Fess have been taking dance classes together
practically non-stop for a year now. When I decided to check, I was
astonished to see that Wil had taken over 20 classes in less than a
year.
Holy Cow! It might be time to give this guy a free class, what do
you think??
Then I took at Karen's list. She is close to 40 classes. Wow! Karen
started in 2004, Wil in 2005. They have clearly put in their floor
time!
When they announced their engagement in February 2006, I had assumed
they had met in an SSQQ dance class. So I asked which class they met
in.
That is when they told me they met through 'match.com'. I stared at
them blankly. I could have sworn that SSQQ had brought them
together.
Karen broke the ice by saying that after they met on the Internet,
she had suggested to Wil that they take dance classes together. Wil
enjoyed the classes so much that he told Karen he would like to
continue. SSQQ became a big part of their courtship.
So I said, 'match.com or not, You belong to SSQQ! You are on the
list!'
Karen grinned at me. Then she replied, 'We don't mind being on the
list. Otherwise we wouldn't have told you. The fact of the matter is
our fun at learning to dance together and taking classes together
has brought us much closer.' "
The story of Bruce and Mara and the story of Wil and Karen point out
the beauty of a program like SSQQ where people meet in a relaxed
fashion that allows them to act naturally over a lengthy period of
time.
Thanks to Marla Archer, her successful Cruise program has added yet
another powerful opportunity for people to get to know each other as
well. Seven days of non-stop dancing and non-stop hot-tubbing might
seem silly on the surface, but you can learn a lot about a person in
seven days, especially when you have absolutely nothing else you are
required to do. And as Bruce and Mara show, you can make friends on
one trip, wait a while, and take a future trip as a couple. In other
words, people you meet today may become important tomorrow and the
studio allows that to happen.
SSQQ is probably closer to a church singles group than any other
type of organization that I can think of. People compare us to dance
hall, but I still think we are more of church singles group where
everyone looks out for everyone else. The other night I was sitting
next to a lady friend. I spotted a guy I happened to like and asked
the lady why she didn't check him out. She laughed and said she
already had. The word on the street was that he was a 'player'.
Well, I thought that was an interesting comment. I replied that some
people said the same thing about me at one point. But when I met the
right woman, that rap disappeared completely. I also said I was
impressed to learn there is a secret network that exists at the
studio. This network appears to have a dating dossier on practically
everyone! So you better watch out. Santa knows who's been naughty
and who's been nice.
SSQQ does not promise an instant payoff. Nor does it promise
guaranteed success. I remember one of our female teachers dated men
she met here at the studio for fifteen years without finding a
keeper. Then she met the love of her life at an internet dating
site. But I also know other women who say they were horribly burned
by men they met via the Internet
(Read Internet Deceit:
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romanceinternet.htm
No one ever said Love is easy to find. There is one Thoroughly
Modern Woman here at the studio who told me finding Love is like
diversifying stock. She is a member of a Houston dating service. She
is a member of an Internet Dating Service. She also goes to every
professional meeting she hears of more for the new men she might
meet than actual business reasons. Finally she takes at least one
dance class a month here at the studio just to scout each new rookie
class.
TMW says she isn't sure which venue is going to pay off, but so far
she has had the most fun here at the studio. It is a little scary to
meet a woman as calculating and ruthlessly thorough at pursuing men
as she is, but I will admit I am secretly flattered she lists SSQQ
as one of her four prime venues.
All I can say is that fifteen couples who made the studio a major
part of their courtship got married in 2008. And there are probably
several more who got married but haven't confessed yet. I will
simply say I will match those numbers against any organization in
the city.
The Matchmaker Story is now almost three years old. And since I
wrote it, 77 more couples who have met here at SSQQ have gotten
engaged and married. Nor is that total any sort of exception. We
have ten years of statistics that prove year in, year out, Slow
Dance and Romance go hand in hand here at SSQQ.
Skeptical? Go look for yourself.
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/
............
GARELD AND VIRGINIA MCEATHRON ARE IN A SERIOUS CAR ACCIDENT
I will start this story by saying I think both people are okay. As I
write, Gareld is in the hospital at Methodist.
I will share the email I received from Deborah Taylor, Gareld's
daughter.
EMAIL ONE
From: Deborah Taylor
Sent: Thursday, January 08, 2009 6:33 PM
Subject: Gareld & Virginia McEathron
Hi Marla and Rick,
I just want to let you and all our SSQQ friends know that Dad and
Virginia were in a serious auto accident on Tuesday night. Thank God
they are both going to be fine, but Dad is still in hospital at
Methodist tonight.
Virginia suffered multiple bumps bruises and cuts, but she is just
sore today.
Dad suffered a pneumothorax, a fractured sternum and a fractured
vertebra in his neck (C-5) but thankfully does not need surgery. He
got his chest tube out today and if all goes well, he may be
released tomorrow!
I know people will want to know what happened. Are you familiar with
that interchange on West Loop 610near Bellaire where you approach 59
heading north???
Dad was changing lanes to try to get out of the way of all the folks
who just stop in that outer lane at the last moment to try to squirm
into the 59 lanes. Dad said he had just glanced up into his mirror
when he saw Virginia throw her hands up.
Some guy had stopped dead in front of him to wait for an opening
just as Dad had averted his eyes. Dad couldn't stop and probably
plowed into the guy going more than 50mph.
The seat belt and airbags are what injured them, but at the same
time, they would have surely been dead without them.
The good news is that the doctors have all said that he should be
dancing again in no time! I am looking forward to seeing him back on
his dancing toes as I know many of the ladies are!
(RICK ARCHER'S NOTE: My friend Kathleen Ballanfant at the local
Bellaire newspaper said her daughter Andy once researched this spot
on the freeway. Andy confirmed her suspicion - this location is the
most dangerous spot in all of Texas. There are more accidents in
this area than any other spot in the state. What is pathetic is that
the engineers redesigned this area as part of the West Loop upgrade
a couple years back. They made significant changes. As a result, the
accidents rate went up. Thank goodness these same engineers don't
work for NASA.)
......
MARLA ARCHER ANNOUNCES THE 2009 SUMMER DANCE CRUISE
From: Marla Archer
Sent: Friday, January 09, 2009 2:23 PM
Subject: Conquest 2009
Happy New Year Everyone!
The Holidays are behind us and we have rung in the New Year, so our
thoughts may now focus on Cruise Adventures for 2009.
I am pleased to officially announce SSQQ's 2009 End of Summer
Caribbean Cruise. We will be once again be cruising the beautiful
Western Caribbean on Carnival's fabulous Conquest from August 23rd
through August 30th. It will truly be a Same Time, Next Year
vacation.
Our annual cruise event is a week-long party that is surely not to
be missed! Be sure to mark your vacation time accordingly, and then
let me know if you will be joining us for another fun-filled week of
adventures as we dance our way across the Caribbean Sea.
I know that several of you had requested that we take the alternate
Bahamas itinerary; however that cruise was price prohibitive. The
opening rate for an inside cabin on the August sailing was $972 and
it increased from there.
On the other hand, our Western Caribbean sailing is very affordable.
For example, an Inside Cabin is only $619, which compared to the
Bahamas price is $350 less.
One of these days we will go to the Bahamas, but during our
country's economic slump I think we need to go with the more
economical trip. This way more people can participate in our annual
trip.
Per Person Double Occupancy Pricing is as follows:
Inside Category 4B -- $619
Oceanview Category 6B -- $739
Balcony Category 8B -- $929
You may read further about it at the following link:
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/conquest2009.htm
As always you may email, fax or hand me your registration form:
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/conquest2009registration.htm
I hope you will all join us for another fun-filled, action packed
cruise as we dance our way across the Caribbean Sea!
Wishing you the best in 2009,
Marla Archer
SSQQ Dance Studio
marla@ssqq.com
713 862-4428
......
COMINGS AND GOINGS
COMING I have already mentioned that Wil and Karen Uecker have just
returned from a six-month trip to Australia. Wil was over there as a
visiting professor. I saw them both at our recent New Year's Eve
Party here at the studio. Karen reports they love to dance in
Australia, but there was something odd about the dancing. I vaguely
recall Karen said there was no one around to teach it. Or maybe she
said the public transportation was so bad that they had trouble
attending the events. You know, this may be a Newsletter, but no one
ever said it was a Newspaper. If you want cold hard facts, buy a
Chronicle. What do you expect for free? In the meantime, I will try
to clarify this thought for the next Newsletter.
GOING I am glad to get Karen and Wil back, because we just lost
George Parker for six months. George is an architect who has been
given a special assignment in Chicago. George has been such a
Western Night fixture here at the studio for a long time that Becky
Bratton recently asked him to help her co-teach a Western class on
Friday Nights. By the way, that's what happens if you hang around
here too long. People get so used to you they either begin to sit on
you like you're part of the furniture or they ask you teach. Well,
just about the time George and Becky were starting to figure out
what they were doing, now George has to leave town for a while. Oh
well. We are at least comforted by the fact that he has a house and
his beautiful wife Cindy here in Houston, so I am pretty sure he
will back one of these days!
GOING Say goodbye to my wonderful friend Conor O'Muirgheasa. Conor
has been a huge part of this studio for three solid years taking
Swing, Western, and Whip. During this time, Conor has become a great
dancer! In addition, Conor has joined us for our past three dance
cruises. Conor is from Ireland. What a great accent! If you listen
to him, you can picture 'Dublin' in your mind. Most of all, Conor is
a really neat guy. He and I were just on the verge of becoming
friends when he had to leave. Conor is heading off to Iraq for at
least a year. He will be involved in the distribution of supplies
for the Army. Conor candidly admits he is heading over there for the
money. He says they are paying him a King's Ransom for this job.
Since his daughter Fi and other family members are here in Houston,
I guess we will see him again one of these days. However Conor says
for tax reasons it would cost him a lot of money to return to the
States, so he says he expects to take his vacation time in Ireland
instead. Still, if we ever schedule a cruise to Baghdad, be sure to
let him know!
COMING One person I am really happy to see is my friend George Grega.
Between George, me, and Gary Richardson, we are the three old guys.
George G is one of Gary Richardson's best friends. They go to lunch
together all the time. Since I was over at Gary's Computer Store all
the time, it was inevitable I would run into George eventually. They
invited me to join them for lunch one day and that's how George
became my friend too. George was once the head of a Science
Department over at the University of Houston. George is a big teddy
bear of a guy and one of the most likeable people you will ever
meet. It soon became obvious to me why he was such a success at U of
H. After he retired, his great personality came in handy again.
George opened up a new business supplying lighting, music equipment,
and staging for weddings and any kind of party or special event that
needed his services.
(http://ssqq.com/information/gregagtgevents.htm )
One day in 2003 George asked me if I would mind if he did the
lighting for one of the studio's Halloween Parties. I said sure,
give it a try. Well, to be frank, the lighting was awesome! Ever
since then, every year George has done the lighting for our
Halloween Party, Christmas Party, and New Years Party. We are all
very much in his debt for this service. George has been gone from
the studio for all of 2008. His business carries him from coast to
coast. He has met many celebrities and I believe he even had an
engagement involving President Bush. So I haven't much of the guy.
However this year, George decided to run the lighting himself. This
gave me the chance to sit with him at the New Year's Party and catch
up on old times. I lamented how tough things had been around here at
the studio recently thanks to Hurricane Ike. George nodded wistfully
and said the same thing had happened to him. He said he hadn't even
been paid for two months. I looked at him and asked why not. He said
that after the hurricane, every one of his customers for two months
had canceled their engagements. Talk about a gut punch! Here I was
feeling sorry for myself and I completely overlooked that there were
a lot of people in this city and Galveston who lost a lot more than
I ever did. At the end of the party I offered to pay George for
running the lights. After all, I always pay the young men who run
the lights when George isn't around. George smiled and said he
didn't want to be paid. He said it was his gift and that he loved
doing what he can to make this time of the year special for
everyone. George also said he plans to be back in Swing class this
year. If you are a girl and you see him, give him a big hug for me.
He likes that.
GOING I will miss Paul Bolchover. He says would be leaving for China
of all places. I always knew we would lose Paul someday, but I hoped
it wouldn't happen. You see, Paul was on loan to us from England.
Paul has always been a delight. Not only is he PhD smart, he picks
up dance moves as fast as anyone I have ever met. And best of all,
he is probably the one person who takes my dance classes who doesn't
have a smart mouth. Gosh am I going to miss him! Back in December
2007 I wrote a lengthy story about Paul.
#17 A British View of Western Dancing
http://www.ssqq.com/newsletter/news200712dec.htm#17
You see, one day Google led me to an article written in a Cambridge
University Dance Magazine about dancing in Texas. I saw my name
liberally mentioned in this article. I finally figured out who had
written this story. As I Googled some more, I found out that Paul
was a member of an Assassination Society at Cambridge University.
That's how I discovered that Paul had come to Houston to escape
punishment for his crimes. My guess is they found out where he is
hiding so Paul has to move on to China for refuge purposes. Paul was
always very quiet here at the studio. He was so polite and such a
great dancer, I am sure the ladies will remember him immediately. I
hope Paul comes back to visit some day.
COMING Neal Pellis of all people showed up in Martian Whip dance
class last Monday. I was stunned! I had not seen Neal in several
years. Neal was a member of our incredible SSQQ Swing Dance Team
back in the late Nineties. This Dance Team somehow became embroiled
in the ugliest controversy in the history of the studio. A black
dance teacher from another studio claimed that SSQQ had racially
discriminated against him. While it was true we had discriminated
against him, it had nothing to do with race. The guy was simply the
biggest traitor this studio had ever known. But you will have to
read the story to understand.
http://www.ssqq.com/stories/controversy1998.htm
Neal was one of the most popular members of the dance team. At one
point, Neal told me he felt about me like his Dad. This is a true
story. Since I was quite a bit older than he was, Neal liked to call
me 'Dad'. One day he went to an audio-visual store to help me pick
up some new equipment to replace something that broke here at the
studio. He was going to help me carry this stuff to the car since I
was so old and decrepit. While we were in the store, Neal spotted
the most incredible plasma TV for sale. Like a little kid, he
grabbed me by my sleeve and tugged me over to look at it. Indeed it
was a beautiful TV. Price Tag $20,000. Neal said if I would buy him
this TV, I could adopt him and he would attempt to show warmth and
respect and I could claim him as the son I never had. He said that
not only would he show me warmth and respect, he would write me a
letter once a week asking for money so I would feel parental. What a
great deal!
Neal later went on to become one of our most popular Swing dance
instructors. Then one day he said he was returning to school, so he
to resign. That was several years ago. I wasn't the only person
happy to see Neal... his good friend Maureen Brunetti was happy to
see him back as well. Here is hoping Neal sticks around. He is a
really neat guy. He is also up for adoption again I hear.
COMINGS AND GOINGS
COMING I have already mentioned that Wil and Karen Uecker have just
returned from a six-month trip to Australia. Wil was over there as a
visiting professor. I saw them both at our recent New Year's Eve
Party here at the studio. Karen reports they love to dance in
Australia, but there was something odd about the dancing. I vaguely
recall Karen said there was no one around to teach it. Or maybe she
said the public transportation was so bad that they had trouble
attending the events. You know, this may be a Newsletter, but no one
ever said it was a Newspaper. If you want cold hard facts, buy a
Chronicle. What do you expect for free? In the meantime, I will try
to clarify this thought for the next Newsletter.
GOING I am glad to get Karen and Wil back, because we just lost
George Parker for six months. George is an architect who has been
given a special assignment in Chicago. George has been such a
Western Night fixture here at the studio for a long time that Becky
Bratton recently asked him to help her co-teach a Western class on
Friday Nights. By the way, that's what happens if you hang around
here too long. People get so used to you they either begin to sit on
you like you're part of the furniture or they ask you teach. Well,
just about the time George and Becky were starting to figure out
what they were doing, now George has to leave town for a while. Oh
well. We are at least comforted by the fact that he has a house and
his beautiful wife Cindy here in Houston, so I am pretty sure he
will back one of these days!
GOING Say goodbye to my wonderful friend Conor O'Muirgheasa. Conor
has been a huge part of this studio for three solid years taking
Swing, Western, and Whip. During this time, Conor has become a great
dancer! In addition, Conor has joined us for our past three dance
cruises. Conor is from Ireland. What a great accent! If you listen
to him, you can picture 'Dublin' in your mind. Most of all, Conor is
a really neat guy. He and I were just on the verge of becoming
friends when he had to leave. Conor is heading off to Iraq for at
least a year. He will be involved in the distribution of supplies
for the Army. Conor candidly admits he is heading over there for the
money. He says they are paying him a King's Ransom for this job.
Since his daughter Fi and other family members are here in Houston,
I guess we will see him again one of these days. However Conor says
for tax reasons it would cost him a lot of money to return to the
States, so he says he expects to take his vacation time in Ireland
instead. Still, if we ever schedule a cruise to Baghdad, be sure to
let him know!
COMING One person I am really happy to see is my friend George Grega.
Between George, me, and Gary Richardson, we are the three old guys.
George G is one of Gary Richardson's best friends. They go to lunch
together all the time. Since I was over at Gary's Computer Store all
the time, it was inevitable I would run into George eventually. They
invited me to join them for lunch one day and that's how George
became my friend too. George was once the head of a Science
Department over at the University of Houston. George is a big teddy
bear of a guy and one of the most likeable people you will ever
meet. It soon became obvious to me why he was such a success at U of
H. After he retired, his great personality came in handy again.
George opened up a new business supplying lighting, music equipment,
and staging for weddings and any kind of party or special event that
needed his services.
(http://ssqq.com/information/gregagtgevents.htm )
One day in 2003 George asked me if I would mind if he did the
lighting for one of the studio's Halloween Parties. I said sure,
give it a try. Well, to be frank, the lighting was awesome! Ever
since then, every year George has done the lighting for our
Halloween Party, Christmas Party, and New Years Party. We are all
very much in his debt for this service. George has been gone from
the studio for all of 2008. His business carries him from coast to
coast. He has met many celebrities and I believe he even had an
engagement involving President Bush. So I haven't much of the guy.
However this year, George decided to run the lighting himself. This
gave me the chance to sit with him at the New Year's Party and catch
up on old times. I lamented how tough things had been around here at
the studio recently thanks to Hurricane Ike. George nodded wistfully
and said the same thing had happened to him. He said he hadn't even
been paid for two months. I looked at him and asked why not. He said
that after the hurricane, every one of his customers for two months
had canceled their engagements. Talk about a gut punch! Here I was
feeling sorry for myself and I completely overlooked that there were
a lot of people in this city and Galveston who lost a lot more than
I ever did. At the end of the party I offered to pay George for
running the lights. After all, I always pay the young men who run
the lights when George isn't around. George smiled and said he
didn't want to be paid. He said it was his gift and that he loved
doing what he can to make this time of the year special for
everyone. George also said he plans to be back in Swing class this
year. If you are a girl and you see him, give him a big hug for me.
He likes that.
GOING I will miss Paul Bolchover. He says would be leaving for China
of all places. I always knew we would lose Paul someday, but I hoped
it wouldn't happen. You see, Paul was on loan to us from England.
Paul has always been a delight. Not only is he PhD smart, he picks
up dance moves as fast as anyone I have ever met. And best of all,
he is probably the one person who takes my dance classes who doesn't
have a smart mouth. Gosh am I going to miss him! Back in December
2007 I wrote a lengthy story about Paul.
#17 A British View of Western Dancing
http://www.ssqq.com/newsletter/news200712dec.htm#17
You see, one day Google led me to an article written in a Cambridge
University Dance Magazine about dancing in Texas. I saw my name
liberally mentioned in this article. I finally figured out who had
written this story. As I Googled some more, I found out that Paul
was a member of an Assassination Society at Cambridge University.
That's how I discovered that Paul had come to Houston to escape
punishment for his crimes. My guess is they found out where he is
hiding so Paul has to move on to China for refuge purposes. Paul was
always very quiet here at the studio. He was so polite and such a
great dancer, I am sure the ladies will remember him immediately. I
hope Paul comes back to visit some day.
COMING Neal Pellis of all people showed up in Martian Whip dance
class last Monday. I was stunned! I had not seen Neal in several
years. Neal was a member of our incredible SSQQ Swing Dance Team
back in the late Nineties. This Dance Team somehow became embroiled
in the ugliest controversy in the history of the studio. A black
dance teacher from another studio claimed that SSQQ had racially
discriminated against him. While it was true we had discriminated
against him, it had nothing to do with race. The guy was simply the
biggest traitor this studio had ever known. But you will have to
read the story to understand.
http://www.ssqq.com/stories/controversy1998.htm
Neal was one of the most popular members of the dance team. At one
point, Neal told me he felt about me like his Dad. This is a true
story. Since I was quite a bit older than he was, Neal liked to call
me 'Dad'. One day he went to an audio-visual store to help me pick
up some new equipment to replace something that broke here at the
studio. He was going to help me carry this stuff to the car since I
was so old and decrepit. While we were in the store, Neal spotted
the most incredible plasma TV for sale. Like a little kid, he
grabbed me by my sleeve and tugged me over to look at it. Indeed it
was a beautiful TV. Price Tag $20,000. Neal said if I would buy him
this TV, I could adopt him and he would attempt to show warmth and
respect and I could claim him as the son I never had. He said that
not only would he show me warmth and respect, he would write me a
letter once a week asking for money so I would feel parental. What a
great deal!
Neal later went on to become one of our most popular Swing dance
instructors. Then one day he said he was returning to school, so he
to resign. That was several years ago. I wasn't the only person
happy to see Neal... his good friend Maureen Brunetti was happy to
see him back as well. Here is hoping Neal sticks around. He is a
really neat guy. He is also up for adoption again I hear.
COMING Peter Shores is back! Better tighten your seat belts, he is
quite a character. Neal Pellis was a big part of the studio TEN
YEARS ago. Well, Peter Shores was a big part of the studio TWENTY
YEARS ago. Eighteen years to be exact. Peter was one of our
Country-Western teachers. Alas, Peter met a very pretty girl named
Leslie. They got married and had two boys. Unfortunately the
marriage didn't last. I saw Peter a year ago and he was in the
devastation stage. However when I saw Peter at our recent New Year's
Eve Party, he seemed like the old Peter... handsome, happy, and
funny. Funny is an understatement. Peter is probably the single
funniest guy to ever hang around here.
I will share one anecdote. At our 1991 Sock Hop, Peter came dressed
as a Nerd. And let me tell you - Peter stayed in character all
night. Not only did he wear a "Kick Me" sign on his backside, his
mannerisms and the stupid things he said were so nerdlike that
people kicked him upside down all night long because he deserved
it!!! The guy was too goofy! People were cracking up all night long!
He was so funny people had to get in line for their chance to kick
him.
Well, that was the night that I had the debut of my brand new line
dance known as the "California Raisin Dance". Gosh, I had been
working on this dance for two months. Since Peter was on Staff, he
knew how serious I was about the Raisin Dance. It was my baby, my
pride and joy. That night at the Sock Hop, none of my students knew
this dance because it was brand new! Since it wasn't that hard a
dance, I demonstrated it a couple times and people more or less
caught. I knew as long as they could watch me during the song,
that's really all it took. So we put on the music for the maiden
voyage of my spectacular new dance. That's right; world premiere!
The moment the music comes on, Peter the Nerd starts dancing like he
is having an epileptic seizure! I had no clue he had planned this
ahead of time. He caught me totally off-guard. Peter was good. He
was awesome! He was so bad he was incredible. And Peter was standing
right behind me! He was right there in the mirror. How could I not
watch him! His arms flailed, his feet kicked in opposite directions,
his faced twitched! I tried to look away. I didn't know the Raisin
Dance well enough to handle this kind of distraction. Furthermore
every person in the room was watching me trying to copy my moves. At
least one hundred people were dancing 'simon-says' style by
imitating my steps.
So here is Peter the Nerd having seizures and I am supposed to be
everyone's pillar of strength. It's like trying not to sneeze. I had
to look. But I couldn't look, so I had to look away. Then I had to
look again. Gosh, Peter was funny! His arm twitched and he jerked
his head like a monster in "Thriller". I had to look away! I was
losing it so badly. I couldn't concentrate! Then Peter started to
snort. No fair! Shut up, darn it! Just shut up, will you! He started
snorting like a pig...and that did it. I forgot what step I was
doing. Horror broke all over me. It was like dropping a touchdown
pass with the whole world watching. I was so embarrassed. But then I
saw Peter staring at me with such disappointment. My shame turned
into hysterical laughter. I was helpless to stop. I completely broke
down laughing. Everyone in the room stopped too. The entire dance
was ruined! We hadn't even made it halfway through.
Peter immediately began to protest. He said, "Rick, don't stop. I
need you. I can't do this dance without you! I need to see how you
move your feet. Please start dancing. This is favorite dance. I love
this dance! It's the only dance I can do. All the other dances are
too hard for me. But without you I'm hopeless. Rick, you're my hero.
Please don't stop!"
Meanwhile I am too convulsed with laughter to move. I wasn't alone.
The entire studio was cracking up. They either laughing at him or
laughing at me or both. I was beyond hope. I was doubled over. I was
laughing so hard it was uncontrollable. My sides began to hurt!
Peter showed NO MERCY. "Rick, how could you let me down like this? I
told you that you were my hero. Didn't you hear me? I told you that
you are the only teacher who has ever shown interest in me. Please
dance. Just try. Oh no, you aren't going to dance any more, are you?
You are letting me down. Everyone I have ever believed in lets me
down. Not you too! You're the best teacher I have ever had. You're
my favorite teacher of all time! Rick, please don't let me down. I
practiced all week for this moment. I was counting on you to help
me! I am depending on you! Now get up and try again! Be a
professional! Don't just quit. You fall down, you get back up. Hey,
wasn't this supposed to be the best dance you ever invented? Now get
back up and dance!"
Peter had ruined my Raisin Dance. In fact, he nearly put me in the
loony bin. To this day, I don't perform that dance here at studio
without thinking of Peter the Nerd. He and the Raisin Dance are
permanently fused in my mind.
Welcome back, Peter. Just don't come as a Nerd to the party this
year. I don't think I could take it again!
..............
JOKE OF THE DAY - THE GAMBLER AND THE IRS
Contributed by Charlie Denton
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa Max for a lot of fishy stuff on his
return. Max receives a summons to the IRS office.
Considering how bizarre the return is, the IRS auditor was not
surprised when Grandpa Max showed up with an attorney in tow.
The auditor started with, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment. How do you explain that?"
Max replied, "I am a Gambler. I win a lot of money gambling. There's
a mark in every city just waiting to support me."
The auditor replied, "I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
"I am a great gambler and I can prove it," says Grandpa Max. "How
about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead. Show me
what you can do."
Grandpa Max says, 'I'll bet you a hundred bucks that I can bite my
own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."
Max removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Max is just warming up. "I'll give you a chance to win your money
back. I'll bet you two hundred bucks that I can bite my other eye."
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa Max isn't blind, so he takes the
bet.
Grandpa Max removes his dentures and bites his good eye. Obviously
he has played this game before since he knows all the moves. The
stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three hundred
dollars in the space of one minute with Grandpa's attorney as a
witness. The auditor starts to get nervous.
"You seem like a nice guy. I'll give you another chance. Let's go
double or nothing. I'll bet you six hundred dollars that I can stand
on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other
side of the room and never get a single drop anywhere on the floor
in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but this is a
preposterous stunt. But since he has been burned twice, he is more
careful now. The auditor looks over the entire situation, reviews
the old guy's boast, then concludes there's no way Grandpa could
possibly manage that stunt. This is his chance to put Grandpa in
his, so he agrees to the new bet.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on
the other side. In fact, he doesn't even come close. Basically he
pretty much dribbles all over the auditor's brand new desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a
major loss into a huge win. The old guy wasn't so smart after all!
But Grandpa Max grins as his own attorney moans and puts his head in
his hands. The attorney looks like he is about to be sick.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"No, not really," says the attorney."This morning, when Max told me
he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me a thousand dollars that
he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be
happy about it! I told him I would not only give him a thousand
dollars, but I would work for free just to see it happen."
.............
AND THAT'S A WRAP! One more favor... will someone explain that joke
to Cher Longoria for me? No one helped her with the last one and I
didn't have half an hour to walk her through it.
|
Issue
Three
The January 2009 SSQQ Newsletter
Issue Three
Written by Rick Archer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHYLLIS PORTER!
This week our friend Phyllis the Troublemaker turned 80 years old. I
wrote a thoroughly insulting story about her on the web site. I
would be very happy if you took the time to read it.
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/conquest2008story02.htm
By the way, if you get this notice in time, we will be hosting a
birthday party for Phyllis at the studio this evening at 9 pm.
Usually we sing to our Birthday Personalities, but in the case of
Phyllis I believe 'paddling' would be more appropriate. If any
deserves a good spanking, it would be Phyllis. Or washing her mouth
out with soap would work too.
If by chance you could bring a teeshirt with a slogan on it as a
present, that would be great. Pick something enlightening. I am sure
Phyllis wouldn't understand what it means, but the rest of us could
use some uplifting messages.
............
THE NEW FEBRUARY SSQQ DANCE SCHEDULE IS FINALLY POSTED
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/nextmonth.htm
...................
THE SSQQ LATE SEPTEMBER BARCELONA CRUISE CONTINUES TO GROW
We are now up to 31 passengers. This will be a marvelous trip.
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/barcelona2009.htm
.................
THE SSQQ LATE AUGUST DANCE CRUISE IS ALREADY IN DOUBLE DIGITS
In last week's Newsletter, Marla announced CONQUEST 2009 is now set
for late August.
In one week, she registered 11 people. Nice start!
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/barcelona2009.htm
..............
GARELD LIVES!
Gareld McEathron, who like Phyllis will do practically anything to
get attention, was involved in a serious car accident last week.
Gareld and his wife Virginia were driving north on the West Loop. As
they neared the spot where people try to get on the Southwest
Freeway (i-59), Gareld briefly took his eye off the road to look at
traffic. That's when some idiot in front of him decided to stop dead
in the middle of the freeway to wait for an opening in the line of
cars trying to get to I-59.
Gareld had no time to stop. He plowed right into the back of the car
at almost full speed. Had it not been for the airbags, Gareld and
Virginia probably would have been terribly hurt or worse.
In his own words:
01-13-09
"It happened too fast to be frightening. That comes after you have
had time to think about it.
Virginia lost a large patch of skin on the back of one hand, bruises
across her shoulder from the seatbelt, and sore knees. I had a tear
in the upper left lung which required the insertion of a tube and
vacuum pump to re inflate the collapsed portion of the lung, a
cracked neck vertebrae, a cracked sternum, and chest bruising. I am
restricted in activities and driving until the neck and sternum
heal.
We were going to "Opera Night Live" at an unfamiliar location on
Waugh Drive. I was driving on 610 West going North and planning on
going down Memorial to the Waugh Drive area. Since I did not know
exactly where the place was located, I had Virginia get the GPS out
of the glove compartment and enter the address.
We were nearing the Southwest Freeway when the system found our
location and calculated a route. Virginia told me that it
recommended going North (toward town) on 59. Traffic was heavy and
moving fast. I looked to see if there was an opening for me to cross
the lanes to get to the right hand lane. The alarmed look on
Virginia's face prompted me to check ahead and I saw cars stopped in
front. I slammed on the brakes but, as I can best reconstruct the
scene in my mind, I had the brakes applied about two seconds before
the collision. In all the confusion, I still do not know which lane
we were in at the time of the crash and if I had actually changed at
least one lane. The memory is somewhat hazy about events before the
adrenaline kicked in.
At first, Virginia was in shock. When she recovered, she said "The
air bags didn't work! They are just hanging there". We wouldn't be
here if they hadn't worked.
The EMS talked to Virginia and decided to put her on a back board
and transport her to the hospital and asked me if I wanted to be
evaluated also. I declined and went with the ambulance as a
passenger to accompany Virginia. By the time we got to the hospital,
the adrenaline was worn off and I was hurting big time so I agreed
to be evaluated also. They treated Virginia's wounds and released
her but found my problems and admitted me for two days.
I am not sure when I will be able to go out dancing again but
possibly in a couple months."
RICK ARCHER'S NOTE:
By coincidence, Lori Hill the famous Swing Acrobatics star, had an
accident here as well.
01-10-09
"Thank God Gerald and Virginia are alright!
I too had an accident in almost the exact same place in December. I
was northbound on the West loop and exiting at Bellaire/Bissonnet.
Because the light at Bellaire is so slow, you often have to stop on
the ramp and wait for the light to change, which is exactly what I
was doing. I saw a car in my rear view mirror coming up fast.
Apparently she never saw me or tried to slow down and smashed into
the back end of my car twice (no idea how that happened). The
Bellaire police officer that gave her a ticket told me that this
section of freeway is incredibly dangerous. Surprisingly, she seemed
to be alright and I all suffered was a bruised knee. My car, on the
other hand, was totaled.
RICK ARCHER'S NOTE:
I decided to ask Byron Holloway, Assistant Bellaire Police Chief,
for some clarification.
01-09-09
Letter to Chief Holloway
I am writing to ask a couple questions about "Accident Alley" over
on the West Loop 610. I estimate that at least once a week when I am
driving to work I see an accident on the West Loop 610 at the 59
Ramp as you head north. I have been told this is statistically the
most accident-prone spot in the state. If I remember, this is the
same spot where the tejano singer Emilio had his accident.
I know this area is deadly. After what I have witnessed, I am scared
to death of the spot! When I drive this part of the freeway, I
always deliberately get in the farthest lane away because I know
there is always a good chance someone might do something stupid.
You may be too busy to bother with my questions, but I had one of my
friends get hurt at that spot yesterday. Is it true this is the most
accident-prone spot in the state?
1) Is it legal for those cars to sit in the outer lane waiting for
an opening to get into the 59 access lane? It seems like a hazardous
thing to do.
2) Who's fault is it if a car suddenly stops and causes an accident?
When you read the story below, you will see my friend had simply
looked up in the mirror to check behind him when someone stopped
cold in the middle of a busy freeway. What does the law have to say
about such reckless driving?
From: Byron Holloway
Sent: Monday, January 12, 2009 4:30 PM
To: Rick Archer
Subject: RE: question about West Loop at 59 heading north
Hi Rick. In regards to your questions:
#1 I don't know if it is the most traffic prone spot in the state,
but if not, it is up there. There needs to be two lanes going to 59
Southbound and not just one. It is unlikely that the Texas
Department of Transportation will ever do that. There is a flashing
sign that warns on-coming traffic of stopped vehicles. There are
several locations like this that I can think of, for example, 610
east bound at the 45 sounth bound exit.
#2 Cars are not supposed to stop in a moving lane of traffic. The
issue becomes, "who stopped?". What I mean by that is, it is
obvioius if just one car is slowing down or stoppign to get over,
but often there are several cars and you don't know if they are
slowing down to get over, or simply slowing down because the car in
front of them did.
#3 It depends on why the car may have stopped suddenly. They could
have stopped suddenly because of an accident in front of them,
because traffic was stopped for another reason, of because they
wanted to get over. There is the old saying, stay one car length
behind a car for every 10 mles per hour your driving. That is to
give a person stopping room.
Traffic enforcement is almost impossible at this location.
We have tried different things and interjecting a patrol car into
the mix pulling somebody over is often more hazardous. We have tried
stopping traffic just before Fournace. We have tried sitting up
there with our overhead lights on warning people. We have tried a
number of things, but the issue is an inadequately designed freeway
interchange. When the "rebuilt" it a few years ago, they told us the
reversing the on ramp and exit ramp would take care of the problem,
when it did not, they told us the problem was because the road
surface as new people were speeding.
When that was built in the 60's, few people were headed south to
Fort Bend County, so one lane to 59 was made. Well we all know the
traffic volume has changed drastically over the years but the exit
has not.
.........
MARJORIE MICHAELS TAKES A SPILL
Marjorie Michaels is an incredibly kind lady who has been a part of
this dance for at least 20 years. Her daughter Sharon Michaels and I
intended to write a story about Marjorie one time, but kept missing
connections. We still need to get that story written, don't we,
Sharon?
You may have seen Marjorie at one of our dance parties. Sharon is
Marjorie's only child. Not only does Sharon love to dance, up till
about 5 years ago, Marjorie could cut a rug as well. Although
Marjorie doesn't dance any more, she still likes to come to our
parties. Yes, that's Marjorie sitting on the couch under the blanket
at the Halloween Party (it gets cold sometimes!). And yes, that's
Marjorie on the couch under the blanket at the Christmas Party, New
Year's Party, Valentine's Party, Sock Hop, and so on.
Marjorie's picture: http://www.ssqq.com/halloween/hallo200308.htm
(#80)
Sharon's picture: http://www.ssqq.com/halloween/halloween2006pictures04.htm
(#34)
A gentleman never asks a lady how old she is, but I am guessing
Marjorie is knocking on the door of 90. She's really got this
longevity thing down!
I saw Marjorie at this year's Christmas Party. As always, I got my
hug and my kiss. When I am lucky, I even get to sit next to her and
hold hands under the blanket.
Well, I missed her at the New Year's Party. That surprised me
because I think Marjorie and Sharon have made practically every New
Year's Eve Party for many years. Then I learned that Marjorie took a
fall. Here's the email:
From: sharonmichaels@sbcglobal.net
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2009 9:28 AM
To: 'Rick Archer'
Subject: My mother's fall
Rick, We have always attended your New Year's Eve Party for over
twenty years and planned to do so again this past one. This time
fate intervened. I already had my evening dress on, and my mother
had just stepped into her bedroom to dress when she called out that
she had fallen.
I knew it was a bad fall when she could not attempt to stand even
with assistance. They always say that if a loved one needs you to
pick them up, you have the strength to do so. And I found that to be
true. I just somehow picked her up and put her on the bed until an
ambulance came.
Fortunately my friend George arrived a few minutes later and drove
my car to the hospital while I rode with her. They quickly
determined it was a serious fracture of her right hip, but it took
literally hours for the x-rays and then getting a hospital room.
What a New Year's Eve for George! He was very loyal and supportive.
We did not get to leave the hospital until about 4 a.m., and then I
was called at 7:30 the next morning to come back to authorize the
surgery. It was a very scary decision, what with her age and her
lung disorder that causes shortness of breath even without external
stresses. But she had an excellent anesthesiologist and tolerated
the surgery very well.
In fact, there was one bit of humor in all this. I knew she was
going to make it when the nurse in the recovery room told me that
she kept pulling out her oxygen mask because it was going to mess up
her hair.
Now she is in the rehab section at the Hampton and taking short
steps with a walker. She will probably be there at least a couple of
months. Mom had to have surgery to have a plate and screws to
rebuild the hip. It went well but the resulting stiffness and pain
to walk again is the hardest part. She will be at the Hampton in
rehab for quite some time. It will be a long slow process of some
painful therapy, but she is trying so hard. My friends have been
very good at visiting her, but she still gets lonely when they
cannot be there.
So if anyone wants to send a card or call, please do!
Her phone in her room is 713-830-5191- call if you have a minute
sometimes. It will pick up her spirits. And if you have time to
visit, the Hampton is at 2929 Post Oak Blvd, Houston 77056.
...............
SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE - BRUCE AND MARA REVISITED
In our previous Newsletter issue, I wrote about Bruce and Mara's
Wedding on December 27th plus the story of their relationship.
As you may or may not know, I occasionally take poetic license to
'enhance' some of the stories I write. I asked Mara what she thought
of the story. Mara said she loved it and couldn't wait for Bruce to
read it. When five days passed and I didn't hear anything, I saw
Mara at the studio last Friday. So I asked Mara what Bruce thought.
Mara frowned a little. She said that Bruce was concerned people
might actually believe that he and Mara 'locked us up in a back room
till the respectable guests left'.
So I have a statement to make and then I will ask a question.
First, for the record, our Dance Cult was not locked up at Bruce and
Mara's house. Nor were we put in a room in the back. In fact, we
were in a room with the door open close to the living room. We were
easily spotted by all the other guests throughout the night. Not
only were we allowed to go through the buffet ourselves, we were
allowed to go back for seconds. We were also permitted to speak to
the other Non- Dance Cult guests at any time. Bruce and Mara treated
us to a wonderful evening and everyone in the Cult enjoyed
themselves thoroughly.
Second, here's my question: Did anyone believe a single word of that
'locking them up' nonsense in that Wedding Story?
Third, here's another question. Do any of you believe anything I
say?
..............
RICK ARCHER'S FAN CLUB WRITES TO SAY HELLO
Rick Archer's Note: Political columnists write from time to time
about some of the awful hate mail they receive. I recently received
a letter where I just furrowed my brow and wondered what on earth
this was all about. I am used to being criticized, but it is kind of
weird to be chewed out to this extent by someone I don't even know.
In addition, I don't even know what story this guy was referring to.
From: Paul Oliver
Sent: Friday, January 16, 2009 8:42 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: You
Thank goodness for freedom of speech, enabling even a racist,
cowardly, narrow minded hater like you to spread their shallow, self
important gruel.
Maybe some day the world will entirely conform to what you think it
should be, until then I suggest you get over yourself, you're
setting a poor example for your kids - or did you ever stop to
consider anyone else but yourself. Hiding behind high school
legalese, so sad. What an amateur.
From the amount of time you apparently spend on your blog, I suspect
you are either on welfare or some type of low ranking but self
important clerical government worker stealing time from your
employer.
Well get back to it buddy, I'm certain there is somebody out there
who is impressed - just not me. Bahhbuy loser.
..............
THANK YOU, MATTHEW BOEHM
Matthew Boehm has been a star in my advanced Whip class for some
time now. He is also becoming an excellent dancer in Western Swing,
Salsa, as well as East Coast Swing.
Matthew has been unbelievably kind to me. This is a good thing
because other people have been mean to me. I won't name anyone. I
can't afford to.
Not only has Matthew offered to help me update my web site - an
offer I have been too afraid to take him up on - he gave me a brand
new "HOME PLATE" as a Christmas Present.
Matthew's kindest gift of all was to fix our Ice Machine.
The Ice Machine was completely fried by some awful electrical surge
during Hurricane Ike. I asked my air-conditioning company to fix the
Ice Machine. They billed me $682 to fix it. Yes, this is the same AC
company that has taken over a month and counting to fix our broken
AC unit. Fortunately, the AC company was able to get the Ice Machine
running for an hour back in early December. The two men who went
over to Charlies to eat came back an hour later to confirm the
machine was still working. They left the building and the unit
stopped working the same day.
I have been too disgusted to deal with it ever since.
About a week ago, Matthew emailed me to ask if I would mind if he
took a look at the Ice Machine. I couldn't imagine why not, so I
said okay.
Matthew fixed it at his house the other day. He brought it back on
Monday. He did not charge me a dime. And the last time I checked, it
was still working. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Matthew.
PS - for his next miracle, Matthew promises to fix the broken light
switch in Room 4. Wish him luck!
Now I wonder if he can fix the AC unit? Just kidding.
Not just me, but of us benefit from Matthew's good deed. I am
grateful indeed for the many contributions of this talented young
man.
..............
STORY REPRINTED FROM SPORTS ILLUSTRATED: HELPING KAYLA REMEMBER
(RICK ARCHER'S NOTE: I thought this was a fascinating story. Hope
you enjoy it.)
January 19, 2009 Issue of Sports Illustrated
Story written by Chris Ballard
AT FIRST, Kayla Hutcheson figured she'd just busted up her nose. No
big deal, right? After all Kayla, a freshman power forward at Walla
Walla (Wash.) Community College, had spent much of her life playing
through sprained ankles and stitched-up chins. This is a girl who
played football through the eighth grade. As a tight end. Against
boys. A little blood didn't scare her.
So when she banged face-first into teammate Jeni Gabriel on a
full-court press drill during practice in October, she tried to walk
it off. Kayla even persuaded her coach, Bobbi Hazeltine, to let her
run sprints with the rest of the team at the end of practice. "Her
fastest time of the year too," says Hazeltine, who clocks such
things. (There's a reason Walla Walla was 9--2 at week's end.)
But that night, when Kayla got back to the apartment she shares with
three teammates, she started feeling all kinds of wrong. Not only
did her nose throb--turns out she'd fractured it--but her arms also
started to go numb. Then she became disoriented, her mind fogging up
like an '86 Civic on a cold, rainy day.
Kayla's roommates rushed her to the hospital, where she was given a
CT scan and an MRI. Grade 3 concussion with a little short-term
memory loss, a doctor said. Take her home and let her rest.
The thing about concussions is, doctors can't immediately predict
their long-term effects. When football players get them there's a
fun, familiar phrase--"getting your bell rung"--though there's
nothing fun about the amnesia and dementia that may result.
In Kayla's case, she couldn't remember anything from before the
accident. Her dad, Bart, drove in from Kimberly, Idaho. He showed
her home movies. He knelt and stared in her eyes. Nothing. "I had to
walk into that apartment and introduce myself to my own daughter,"
Bart says.
But instead of taking Kayla back with him, Bart decided to leave her
in Walla Walla. At home she'd just sit in front of the TV while he
and her stepmother were at work. (Kayla's mom and Bart divorced when
she was five.) At school she had a family around her all the time.
"At that point those girls and her coach were the only people she
knew," he says. "I didn't want to take her away from them."
Teams are often referred to as families, and Kayla's
roommates--fellow freshmen Jaimie Berghammer, Jill Haney and Nancy
Johnson--did as much as any sisters could. They took turns watching
over her, walking her to class and helping her with her schoolwork.
"It was like taking care of a kid," says Haney. Indeed, for a few
weeks Kayla spoke and acted like a toddler. She had no idea what a
banana was; a toaster flummoxed her. Cookies, though, she loved. "We
had to hide them all because she wouldn't eat anything else,"
Johnson says.
As Kayla relearned life, she relearned basketball. You might not
think that's a priority, but it's the one thing she quickly
responded to. At practices she sat in a lawn chair, giving Hazeltine
a thumbs-up whenever she understood something. She didn't recall the
rules of the game, but when Hazeltine first handed a ball to her and
told her to shoot, she raised it above her head--Kayla always had a
funky shooting motion--and swished the shot. "It was like that was
one part of her brain that still worked," says the coach.
As the weeks passed, Kayla's easygoing personality returned
("identical to before," says Haney) as well as her facility with
language and physical skills. In early December she was cleared to
return to noncontact practice, and she spent hours relearning the
Warriors' six offenses and 28 set plays. Still, Kayla could only
recall snippets of her life. A family trip to Six Flags. Listening
to a dance song in the car. She went home for the holidays, but even
"meeting" relatives didn't trigger her memory.
It hasn't gotten much better since. Kayla's frustrated and hasn't
had a good night's sleep in months. Sometimes she cries. Other times
she dreads going out, lest she meet another friend who is a
stranger. "I feel like my life's like a puzzle," she says, "and I
have to put it together."
If that's so, she filled in one of the biggest pieces last week. Her
doctor, Robert Carmody, cleared her to play, deeming it
"therapeutic." Her dad gave the go-ahead too, figuring the benefits
outweighed the potential risks. So on Jan. 7, Kayla suited up for
her first college basketball game. Sure, she was nervous, and "a
little scared." She blew an early layup, almost panicked when an
elbow glanced her nose. But she ended up scoring 14 points in 13
minutes, even helping out once on the press.
After the buzzer, accepting her teammates' hugs, I saw on her face a
true smile for the first time all day. The game had come back to
her. As for the rest of her life, Kayla is still waiting.
...............
JOKE OF THE DAY: FREE SEAT FOR THE SUPERBOWL
Contributed by Richard Bevis and Cher "I've Got a Secret" Longoria
A salesman named Joe receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from
his company for leading his company in sales the past year.
Unfortunately, when Joe arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat
is not quite the prize he had hoped for. His seat is in the last row
in the corner of the stadium. His nose is starting to bleed because
he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than he is to the field. The
players are about the size of a pixel to the naked eye.
The only way he can see a thing is to use his binoculars. About
halfway through the first quarter, Joe is scanning the stadium
through his binoculars when he notices an empty seat right on the
50-yard line about 10 rows off the field. Joe decides to take a
chance. He makes his way through the stadium. He cleverly waits till
the security guards are preoccupied with helping someone else and
nonchalantly walks by. Then he makes his way to the empty seat at
the end of the row.
Before sitting down, Joe asks the elderly gentleman sitting next to
the seat, "Excuse me, Sir, but is anyone sitting here?" The man says
no. Joe replies, "I don't have a ticket for this seat, but I hate to
see it go to waste. Would you mind if I sat here?"
The elderly man stares at Joe for a moment, and then replies, "No,
go ahead. Have the seat."
So Joe sits down and watches the game. It is one of the best games
ever. Joe is very excited to be in such a great seat for the game.
This is a dream come true. The Steelers get off to a big lead, but
the Eagles fight back and nearly send the game into overtime on the
last play. It takes a remarkable shoestring tackle to save the game
for the Steelers.
Joe screams his head off the entire game. This is the most fun he
has ever had at a football game. Now with the game over, exhausted
but thrilled beyond compare, Joe remarks to the old man, "I wonder
who owns this seat? Who in their right mind would have a seat like
this at the Super Bowl and not use it?"
The old man stares back at him, then says, "My wife and I own these
seats. We've been to every Super Bowl since the very beginning.
That's right; I've seen every one of the Roman Numerals."
Joe says, "Oh, well, that explains it. But gosh, where is your
wife?"
"She couldn't make it."
"I wonder why not. This game was great!!"
"She died."
Joe covered his mouth with shock, but he didn't get to be salesman
of the year by being shy, so he continues, "Oh, I'm sorry. That's
too bad. You must really miss her. But why didn't you bring one of
your friends to keep you company?"
"I tried to. I must have asked 20 people, but they all went to her
funeral instead."
..............
SPEAKING OF FUNERALS, MY MOTHER HAS A
CHUCKLE AT MY EXPENSE
I would like to thank of all you who kindly expressed your
condolences over my Mother's recent passing.
Here is one of my favorite comments:
"My very first neighbor in Houston (her house is STILL standing in
the corner of Welch and Dunlavy) was this feisty, fantastic 83 years
young woman. Her corner garden looked like one of those French weed
/ luxurious wild flower gardens, full of Texas wild flowers!
As she explained it: No grass to mow. She was always out there,
pruning, weeding, and if you were lucky to pass by when she was
pruning, you would get a bunch of beautiful flowers to take home!
What a beautiful Houston neighbor! Just when I moved, to buy a house
on Peden Street, i was told that one of her friends had found her,
early in the morning, garden hat, gloves, and pruning shears, lying
face down out in her garden. She had blissfully passed away doing
what she loved best.
Give me THAT kind of death, any time!"
By coincidence, Mary, my mother, was also 83 years old when she
passed away last December. She certainly didn't die as gracefully as
the lady with the flower garden, but she wasn't in pain and she kept
her alertness right up to the day she died. I believe she died with
no regrets and no people who disliked her (hmm, I should be so
lucky).
Mary was a Quaker most of her life. The Quakers are a religious
group also known as the 'Society of Friends'. For that matter, I
consider myself a Quaker although I have not attended services for
several years. Despite my lousy attendance record, I know that when
the time comes, I will always be welcome in the Meeting again.
That's just the way they are.
The Society of Friends is a religion that I deeply respect. Although
I have trouble getting the courage to accept their positions on
pacifism, I completely agree with their principle that there is
'that of God in every living person and if you look for the Light in
a person, you will find it.' I might as well admit that the
principles I learned as a boy regarding absence of prejudice,
respect for one's fellow man, and the desire to help others have all
played a big part in my view of how SSQQ should be structured.
I am sure you will be amused to know that SSQQ Dance Studio was once
the home of the Quaker Meeting. They were very short of funds back
in the Nineties because they sold their previous Meeting House in a
desperate attempt to purchase a marvelous tract of land that had
become available on 26th Street near Ella. Thank goodness they were
successful in raising the money. Their meeting house today is lovely
and the surrounding land is absolutely beautiful and picturesque. In
fact, their property looks like a park. Very lovely.
During their fund drive, I offered to let the Meeting use the studio
on Sundays. They gladly accepted. So for about four years until the
construction on their new meeting house was complete, the Quaker
Meeting met here at the studio. What a perfect place! The Quakers
love silence and this place is indeed very silent on Sunday
mornings. I am told the Quakers were quite taken with the Disco Ball
in Room One, but no one has actually ever told me 'what' was so
amusing about it.
Speaking of 'Silence', a Quaker Service can be a bit unsettling to
newcomers. You will met by complete silence. There is no preacher,
no minister, no nothing. This is definitely a 'do-it-yourself'
religion. You are expected to find God all by yourself without
anyone telling you how to do it! Imagine that. During this silence,
the members of the Meeting meditate. That's right - they just sit
there and reflect on whatever they think is important. Or maybe they
don't even think at all. It seems to work. I can attest that the
kindest, most spiritual people I have ever known were people I met
at Quaker Meeting.
Now it is true that periodically someone will stand up in the middle
of the meeting and break the silence with a short one or two minute
insight. These 'insights' are unscheduled and unrehearsed. However
there are also times when no one speaks at all for the entire hour!
And that, my friends, is how a Quaker Meeting is conducted.
For my Mother's memorial service, I was asked to speak about Mary
and give the Meeting a sense of her life story. I took the request
seriously. I could not help but remember at my father's service ten
years earlier at a different church, not one person gave testimony
that even began to do justice to his life. No one even mentioned
that the man was a genius in his field. My father was trained as an
electrical engineer. He was able to design electrical systems for
cranes used in difficult applications. For example, he designed the
electrical system for a crane to remove spent rods from nuclear
reactors. He built the electrical system for a crane used on one of
the early space launches. He built the electrical system for a
logging crane that would not freeze up in the cold forests of
Northern Canada. He also was convinced one of his cranes was used
for a top-secret aircraft built by the military, but since they
never let him visit the site, he could not be sure. The point is -
Dad was brilliant.
The main reason Dad was never given a proper reading was simple - I
was not invited to speak by my step-mother. Enough said. Had I
spoken, I am certain the oratory would have improved substantially.
With my Father in mind, I was determined not to let the same thing
happen to Mom. I wrote out a seven-page story about my mother's
life.
The Quaker Meeting listened patiently as I went over my mother's
story. I covered a lot of ground, that you can be assured of. It
felt like I was up there for quite a while. Later I asked Marla to
estimate how long I spoke. She estimated an hour. OMG! I winced at
that statistic. A little bit longer than I expected. Oh well.
After I sat down, various other people got up to relate their
memories of Mary. After all, she had been a part of the Meeting for
over fifty years! I learned all kinds of things about my mother I
never knew before. I also noted that these impromptu speeches lasted
about two or three minutes at the most. I sighed deeply. How
embarrassing. Well, they told me to be thorough!
The last man to speak was someone I had never met before. This man
said that a while back he had conducted a project to get an oral
history of the Live Oak Friends Meeting. Naturally he wanted to talk
to Mary because she went all the way back to early days of the
Meeting.
One of his questions to Mary was how she came to be a Quaker. Mary
told him, "I was raised an Episcopalian. I didn't have any problems
with that religion, but I had not practiced it in some time. Back in
1952, while my husband Jim was in college, I worked as a secretary
in Philadelphia to support us both. One day my boss, who was a
Quaker, asked if I would consider attending a Quaker Meeting. He
said the attendance was in decline and he was worried they might
close that chapter if the numbers didn't improve.
I said I had always been curious about the Quaker Religion, so I
would be happy to go visit. You can't grow up in Pennsylvania and
not at least be curious about the Quakers.
As it was, Richard, my son, had just begun speaking. Richard was
nearly two years old and very late to learn to speak. In fact, I was
so worried I had even consulted a specialist about him. But now that
he had begun to speak, he would never shut up. I realize those are
harsh words, but he would talk morning noon and night. I would be
asleep and he would stand by my bed talking to me. I could not get
any rest. I was going out of my mind.
When I discovered that the Quaker Meeting would guarantee me an
entire hour of complete silence one a week, I realized I had finally
found the Religion of my dreams. It was the only place I could get a
moment of peace."
.......................
And that's a wrap. Please note due to my new sense of brevity I was
able to limit this issue of the Newsletter to a mere 13 pages.
|
Issue
Four
The January 2009 SSQQ Newsletter
Issue Four
Written by Rick Archer
WE HAVE THE SWEETHEARTS OF THE RODEO WESTERN PARTY THIS SATURDAY,
JANUARY 24!
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party04sweetheart.htm
7-9 PM CRASH COURSES
(TO REGISTER, JUST SHOW UP 15 MINUTES BEFORE CLASS)
BEG C&W : TEXAS TWOSTEP - Rhonwyn
INT TWOSTEP: CIRCLE TURNS - Linda
BEG WESTERN WALTZ - Jill
SYNCHRONIZED POLKA PTNS - Jack
BEN'S FAV GHOST TOWN PTNS - Ben
BEGINNING NIGHT CLUB - Scott
...................
THE NEW FEBRUARY SSQQ DANCE SCHEDULE IS FINALLY POSTED
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/schedule.htm
DESCRIPTIONS OF THE FEBRUARY CLASSES:
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/extra.htm
THE TENTATIVE MARCH SSQQ DANCE SCHEDULE IS ALSO POSTED
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/nextmonth.htm
...................
AMAZING SKY DIVING VIDEO
Our Swing experts Joel Konkel and Charlie Denton sent me this link
to the most amazing video. It shows Norwegians jumping off of cliffs
and gliding through the air in special outfits at 100 mph. The
skydivers are so close to the edge of the mountains you are certain
they are going to crash!
What is incredible is these people are literally flying. They have
parachutes, but they don't use them till they have to. Meanwhile
they are soaring like birds. The feature that is most incredible
however is the spectacular photography that makes you think you are
flying right along beside them.
The photography was so good that I swear I literally could hardly
bear to watch! I was so nervous! I was convinced I was going to
crash at any moment.
To view
..................
THE BEAUTIFUL ISLE OF CAPRI
Our wonderful September
2009 Barcelona Trip is starting to gain momentum. Our friends Kurt
and Jean Wind joined the trip this week. Meanwhile Kurt told Marla
so much about the Isle of Capri off the coast of Naples that he
convinced her to switch her plans from Pompeii to Capri.
Marla did extensive research on Capri complete with pictures. If you
want to see some beautiful photography of this area, please read
Marla's story.
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/barcelona2009capri.htm
UPDATE ON OUR BARCELONA 2009 TRIP
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/barcelona2009.htm
From: Marla Archer
Sent: Friday, January 23, 2009 4:47 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Barcelona
Hello Everybody,
We are currently up to 37 passengers who are headed to the world's
most favorite Western Mediterranean cruise destinations.
If you have been sitting on the fence, it is now time to sign up for
the cruise! Don't miss out on sharing so many adventures with all
your friends in the world's most favorite vacation destination.
A $250 deposit will hold your spot on the trip all the way until
final payment on July 15th, 2009. That is right, you have six months
to save for this fabulous cruise!
Royal Caribbean has given me a few more days to hold on to my
reserved group space. We have until Wednesday, January 28th to add
anyone to the group. On Thursday, January 29th I can still add
people to our group, however it will be at the prevailing rate.
Group Pricing is as follows:
Inside Category N -- $896 per person cruise only
Oceanview Category I -- $1136 per person cruise only
Balcony Category E1 -- $1446 per person cruise only
All prices are double occupancy.
You will be pleased to know that this trip has become less
expensive. For one thing, the fuel surcharge is gone. In addition,
the room prices have dropped $170 for the Inside Cabins, $220 for
Oceanview, and $60 less for Balconies. Also encouraging is the Euro
to Dollar ratio has improved dramatically in our favor since last
year's trip. Air fare has dropped considerably as well. This trip
will never be inexpensive, but at least it is becoming more of a
bargain.
I hope you will decide to join us for another trip of a lifetime!
Don't miss out on this wonderful experience!!!
You may email or fax me the information or simply hand the form to
Rick or me at the studio.
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/barcelona2009registration.htm
Marla Archer
....................
DIANE MURRELL GETS CONKED IN THE HEAD
From: Diane Murrell
Sent: Sunday, January 18, 2009 4:57 PM
To: ssqq newsletter
Subject: Response to newsletter
I had hoped to visit the studio at Christmas to learn Fox Trot but
in October I suffered a concussion that is still affecting me. I
cannot spin without falling and becoming very nauseated as the
accident destroyed my sense of balance and also other neuro
cognitive abilities. The latter are returning.
A metal bar was kicked off the roof of a construction site for
Methodist hospital on Fannin. It fell 17 stories and hit the roof of
my car shattering and severing the windshield from the roof. I do
not think the bar hit my head or I would be dead, it was a few
inches over . I did hit my head on something but do not remember
what. Baker construction site is very lucky I did not swerve and hit
someone else while blacking out. Needless to say they have been
extraordinarily un co-operative in taking care of my car and medical
bills which exacerbates the stress.
I felt like, Chicken Little "The sky is falling." It was traumatic
in the moment. My friend Cher Longoria said I was lucky to be alive.
I would love to try lessons again when I have recovered more fully.
It was too too uncanny for words to read your story in the
Newsletter about Kayla, the girl who suffered a concussion while
playing basketball!!!
I couldn't believe it. My concussion was not as severe but the
cognitive problems I incurred were a shock to me as like most people
I had no idea what a concussion could do to mess up your thinking.
I am much more compassionate about concussions realizing they can
take time to heal...those poor football players. You must print if
you ever get a further update on that girl..I would anticipate her
memory returning eventually, hopefully.
.............................
RACE RELATIONS IN AMERICA
Rick Archer's Note: I would like to make a couple of points
regarding Race Relations in America. I typically prefer not to
impose my own politics in this Newsletter, but this is an
observation I really want to share. So consider yourself adequately
forewarned as to my intentions. Continue at your own risk.
QUAKER STORY RECAP
In last week's Newsletter, as part of a story about my mother's
recent passing in December, I wrote about my Quaker background. I
promise I am not trying to convert anyone to the Quaker faith. That
is simply not my mission in life. For that matter, I don't even
consider myself worthy to promote the religion.
One reason I do not consider myself a decent Quaker is that I do not
have the guts to live up to the Quaker principles on non-violence.
As a departure point on this issue, I will share a favorite story
from my favorite childhood Quaker book, "The Friendly Children's
Caravan". This story is titled 'The Latchstring'.
THE LATCHSTRING
"Well, perhaps we ought to at least bar our door for the sake of the
children," Mary Tyler spoke reluctantly. There was a definite note
of uncertainty in her voice.
"Perhaps so," replied James Tyler. "It seems to me every man within
five miles has upbraided me for not protecting my children."
Mary glanced with troubled eyes at the face of her husband, as they
sat before the fire in their little cabin. Mary knew that he, too,
was living over the uncertain days since the outbreak of the war.
Time and time again there had been reports that the British soldiers
had incited the Indians to burn the cabins of the settlers and
massacre whole families.
Despite these reports, the Tylers had lived, as before, on friendly
terms with their neighbors, both Indians and white men. When
massacres had occurred in nearby settlements, they had still
continued to leave out the latchstring, that leather thong which
enabled a person outside the door to lift the latch and enter.
The Tylers had trusted entirely to the protection of their Heavenly
Father. They had refused to arm themselves or even to lock their
door. Now they had reliable assurance that the Indians were coming
to destroy their settlement. Neighbors urged that they had no right
to imperil the lives of their children by such foolhardiness - that
they should protect themselves.
"But is it really protection?" Mary queried, as now she sat alone
with her husband in their cabin.
"At least," responded James, "we shall be doing what most people
consider safest."
For what seemed a long time, they sat gazing at the fire. The
silence was broken only by the moaning of the wind in the pine trees
and the crackling of the logs on the hearth. For the first time in
all the dark days, Mary felt afraid. She stirred uneasily and cast a
furtive glance around the shadowy room. James rose and lighted a
candle. He crossed the room and stood for a moment uncertainly
beside the outside door. Then, with a deep sigh, he pulled in the
leather thong, fastened the latch securely, and prepared for bed.
All night James tossed restlessly. Every time one of the children
stirred, or a branch scarped the roof, he would start violently, and
fall back unnerved. He tried to calm himself by repeating verses
from the Bible, but instead of the usual comfort, the words only
brought a challenge to his excited brain. "Why are ye fearful, O ye
of little faith?" "Take the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be
able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked."
Finally he could not stand the conflict any longer. "Mary," he
whispered, "art thou awake?"
"Yes, James," she replied, "I have not slept. I have tried to pray,
and always the answer has been, 'Behold the Lord's hand is not
shortened that it cannot save.' "
"Thou are right, Mary, the Lords hand is shortened and we did wrong
to pull in the latchstring. Shall we put our entirely in Him?"
"Aye, James, I should feel much safer so," she replied.
Quickly James stepped to the door and pulled the leather thong
through to the outside. Then he lay down again. They both enjoyed
such a sense of peace and security as they had not felt for hours.
Suddenly, just as they were about to drop off to sleep, they heard a
blood-curdling war-whoop. A few seconds later the moccasined
footsteps of several men passed the window and stopped in front of
the door. The latch clicked and the door swung open. By the dim
light from the embers on the hearth, James could see seven Indians
in full war paint. They motioned and talked to each other. They
nodded then silently pulled the door to and disappeared into the
night.
In the morning, when James and Mary looked out of their door, they
saw only the smoking ruins of their neighbor's cabins.
Years later, when the war was over, the government of the United
States appointed James Tyler as a representative to an Indian
conference. One day he told this story to all those assembled.
After he finished, in reply, an Indian arose and said, "I was one of
those Indians. We crept up in the night. We meant to burn and kill.
We found the latchstring out. We said, 'No burn this house. No kill
these people. They do us no harm. They trust the Great Spirit.' "
............
Interesting story? I certainly think so. As a kid, it was definitely
one of my favorites. Very thought-provoking.
That said, I have always been deeply skeptical of the story's
outcome. It is difficult to believe the distrust of one's enemies is
handled with this kind of dignity while in the midst of murdering
other settlers on the war path. Are all enemies quite as a decent as
the Indians were to the Quaker family? Would a modern-day terrorist
consumed by hatred peacefully close the door of an unarmed Israeli
couple? Would the terrorist conclude that this Israeli family is
true to the peaceful spirit of Islam and walk away? And what Israeli
family would have the guts not to have an Uzi pointed at the door?
Let me add that no matter how much I liked the Latchstring story, I
still lock my front door at night.
Still, I do agree that Peace is a far better path than violence. I
can't help but comment on the remarkable progress I have witnessed
here in my country towards the easing of racial tensions.
I would like to share two personal stories in this regard.
1963: A STONE'S THROW
My first story occurred in 1963. I haven't spoken much about my
childhood, but I had a very unusual upbringing. After my parents'
divorce when I was 9, my father agreed to pay the tuition at an
expensive private school named Saint John's for a couple of years.
The tuition proved much too steep for my father, so after a couple
years he reneged on his offer. Fortunately the school thought I was
worth keeping, so they offered me a full scholarship.
The kindness of the people who ran Saint John's explains two things.
Now you know how and where I got the magnificent education that
allows me to churn out these Newsletters. It also partially explains
why I had such a chip on my shoulder while I was growing up. It was
incredibly difficult being the only poor kid at a rich kid's school
for nine years.
You see, after the divorce, my mother had great difficulty holding
jobs. After the divorce, she discovered to her regret that she had
minimal job skills. You see, she had dropped out of college to
support my father while he finished his own college career. After
the divorce, Dad had the good job and Mom was left relatively
penniless because she couldn't keep a secretarial job. Mom was very
smart, but she was also headstrong. She decided that since she was
smarter than most of her bosses, she would do her job 'her way'
instead of 'his way'. Her lack of political common sense would cost
her dearly. Her lack of respect for authority cost her jobs
throughout her life.
So we were broke most of the time. As you might gather, this odd set
of circumstances made for an unusual childhood indeed. Several times
a year I would come home from the rich kid's school to find out the
electricity had been cut off. I would do my homework by candlelight,
then ride my bike to school in the morning only to hear a classmate
complain that the car his father had bought him was over a year old
and terribly out of date.
Although I admit my mother had a few shortcomings, she also had many
qualities I respected. One thing I intensely admired Mom for was her
total absence of prejudice. Houston, Texas, was not the nicest place
when it came to race relations back in the Sixties. Like many cities
in the Deep South, Houston had its share of bigotry.
You wouldn't know it by my mother. Black or white, she was friendly
to everyone. Gay or straight didn't matter either. Mom didn't care
about race, religion, nationality, sexuality, or social standing.
While other people openly told racial jokes and made disparaging
remarks, my mother impressed me with her uncommon decency towards
all people. Mom was way ahead of her time.
So here's what happened. I was in the eighth grade. It was October
1963. I needed extensive dental work, but Mom had zero dinero. This
was one of her broke periods. But she did have a dentist friend -
Dr. Marion Ford. Dr. Ford, incidentally, was a black man. Dr. Ford
was a remarkable guy. He had quite a story of his own to tell - he
was a poor kid from the ghetto with a public school education who
made it to medical school.
Mom had met Dr. Ford back when he was the only person of color in
his class at Baylor Medical School during the early Sixties. Mom was
working at the Med School a secretary to the head of the
administration. This black man was deeply grateful to this white
woman who treated him with respect and friendship. Every day was a
struggle. He felt so isolated amidst a sea of subtle and not so
subtle hostility. My mother sensed this and offered encouragement to
Dr. Ford that he openly admitted helped him to survive this
experience. She was practically his only friend in the entire place!
In 1963 Dr. Ford had recently graduated. He had opened his new
dental office in the Fifth Ward where he had grown up. During a
conversation with my mother, she told him about my problem. Dr. Ford
offered to do my dental work at a huge discount (it may have even
been free). Dr. Ford told my mother it was no favor. After all, he
didn't have many patients yet and could use the practice. All I had
to do was get my butt out there.
I do not remember why my mother didn't drive me. Maybe this was one
of the times she didn't have a car that worked. All I know is that I
was scared to death as I rode the bus early on a Saturday morning. I
was only 13 years old. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
All I knew was that the Fifth Ward was all black, very poor and
considered very dangerous. I had been dreading this day for some
time now. I felt like I was riding straight into the jaws of
disaster.
During the Sixties, the Fifth Ward was unquestionably one of the
toughest neighborhoods in all of Houston. Just to give you an idea,
the famous boxer George Foreman said the daily boxing lessons he
received growing up in the Fifth Ward were the perfect preparation
for his eventual career. In the Fifth Ward you had to be tough to
survive. He became a mean, angry, bitter kid ready to fight at the
drop of a hat. Growing up as a street fighter, George Foreman said
some of his pro fights were nothing compared to the battles he had
as a kid.
And now as I rode on the bus to Kashmere Gardens in the heart of
Houston's rough north side, I was scared out of my wits. I turned to
a very unlikely source of comfort - The Lord's Prayer. As part of my
privileged education, my Latin teacher had told us to memorize the
Lord's Prayer in Latin. That's right: in Latin. "Pater Noster qui
est in caelis, sanctificuter nomen tuum, adveniat regnum tuum."
I have little doubt I misspelled a word or two, but I just rattled
that off from the back of my brain as I typed. You see, I learned
that prayer like the back of my hand because it was the only way I
could take my mind off of my fear during the long bus ride!
I was the only white person on the bus. As I looked out the window,
I could see I was entering a totally-black neighborhood. As I got
off the bus to walk to Dr. Ford's office, I swear ET would not have
gotten any more stares than I did. The corner of Cavalcade and
Lockwood was the center of the Fifth Ward. The streets were crowded.
I cringed when I realized every eye on every street was riveted on
me. I was watched with hostility and deep suspicion. What on earth
is this white kid doing here all by himself? Not one smile in the
place, I promise you.
I calmed myself by clutching my Latin book and practiced reciting a
couple lines. I studied my map and decided Dr. Ford's office was
only a couple blocks away. So I started walking.
Dr. Ford was slightly incredulous as I knocked on his door. Where
was Mary? I said I was alone. How did I get here? I rode the bus. As
Dr. Ford mulled over my words, his eyes betrayed his shock. Finally
he said, "Did anyone bother you?"
I shook my head no. Dr. Ford nodded with relief. "Well, that's good.
I guess we should get to work."
After about an hour of drilling, Dr. Ford suggested we take a break.
I walked outside his office, which was basically a house situation
on a heavily-wooded lot. I had a hunch he also lived in that house.
I was sick of memorizing the Lord's Prayer, but it was the only book
I had. So for lack of anything better to do, I started throwing
rocks against a tree in the front yard of his office.
The house faced Lockwood Street. I threw the rocks towards the
street with my back to his office. I wasn't a very accurate thrower
to begin with, but the street was fifty yards away. My errant tosses
were no threat to persons or property.
To my surprise, a black teenager came up to me from the sidewalk. He
looked pretty angry. He told me he was going to fight me and that I
better put up my fists.
I sized him up. We were about the same height and weight. I assumed
he had more experienced fighting than I did. After all, I may have
been poor, but had never felt the need to learn to defend myself
against the kids at my school. In fact, I had never been in a fight
in my life. They did engage in serious verbal warfare, but no one
had ever thrown a punch. I was woefully outmatched. For all I knew,
this was George Foreman preparing to pound me into the pavement.
I started to put up my fists, but then decided this was ridiculous.
I told him that first I wanted to know what we fighting about.
This young man was not happy about my question. He insisted again
that I fight him. I repeated that I would fight him if he would just
explain what we were fighting about.
Finally with a sigh of exasperation he said he was going to fight me
because I had thrown a rock at him.
Although his broken English was pretty hard to follow, I figured it
out what he was upset about. I patiently explained that I was merely
throwing rocks against the tree. He said that wasn't good enough. He
made it clear that was my pathetic excuse. He said I was afraid to
fight him.
I said that was not true. I said I had never meant to throw a rock
at him and apologized if I had hit him.
He said I had not hit him.
Well, how close did I come? Twenty feet. That's when I realized this
kid was looking for an excuse to beat me up. I had little doubt
about the outcome. I imagined this teenage tough from the wrong side
of the tracks would have little trouble with a soft, over-protected
kid like me did. St. John's versus the Ghetto wasn't much of a fair
fight.
I took a closer look at him. He was dirty, he was wearing old
beat-up clothes, and looked every part like a poor kid. I had
actually met someone poorer than me! In his eyes, I was probably a
rich kid. Now wasn't that a twist?
But I just didn't feel like getting beat up for something as stupid
as this.
I said again I did not want to fight him. I promised that I meant no
harm. I apologized that he got that impression. Then I had an idea.
I pointed to a pile of rocks that had successfully struck the tree.
Sure enough, there were 10 or 12 rocks scattered directly beneath as
evidence of my true intentions.
Then I explained I was here to see the dentist. I pointed to the
sign on the door which I doubt he could even read. He looked at me
with incredulity. Why wouldn't I argue with him and make things
easier?
I could see he was uncertain what to do next. My words had taken a
lot of the fun out of the confrontation. So I offered him my hand. I
told him again that it was a misunderstanding and that I did not
mean to give him the wrong idea. To my surprise, he reluctantly
accepted my handshake and abruptly left. Although the young man
seemed very disappointed, at least he wasn't angry any more. Mostly
he was disgusted at himself for letting me talk him out of a golden
chance to thrash a stupid white rich kid who had no business being
on his turf.
I was pretty shaken. I stayed in Dr. Ford's office the remainder of
the afternoon. With nothing else to do I studied the Lord's Prayer
for hours. To this day I can still recite the whole thing. Amazing
the things that stick in your mind. I remember my Latin teacher was
very impressed with my thorough recital. Little did she know.
FONDE REC CENTER
Now fast-forward to this time a year ago. About a year ago, my
friend Denny Morse suggested I join him for an old guy's basketball
league at Fonde Rec Center downtown. I looked at him like he was
crazy. Fonde Rec is well known as a hangout for big bad black
basketball players, not all of whom are exactly clean-cut boy
scouts. Denny said not to worry. Give it a try.
On my third visit to the gym, a guy named Johnny got very angry at
me for playing tight defense of all things. Mind you, I wasn't
rough, but I was persistent. I dogged him all over the gym. Johnny
was furious about something. Instead of handing me the ball to start
the next play, he threw it hard past my ear. I looked at him in
anger and made a hostile remark. Then I told him to go get the ball.
Johnny didn't like my words one bit. He called me a racist. He added
he was going to get some brothers and let's see how tough I talked
then. I told him I was not a racist and just stared at him. He
stared back with his fists clenched. I kept my hands down, but I
thought we were going to fight. It was a very tense confrontation.
To my surprise, two other black players came up to Johnny and told
him to knock it off. They backed me up that I was not a racist and
told Johnny to stop threatening me. My mouth dropped open in shock.
Here was a gym filled with at least 50 black men and maybe four
white men, but rather than stick to racial lines, two black men I
barely knew had come to my defense. Johnny backed off and we played
ball without further incident.
After a year of playing basketball at a gym that is 98% black, I
always feel totally safe. Today I receive nothing but smiles and
welcomes when I enter the gym. That includes black men who don't
even know me. It is a friendly place totally devoid of racial
tension. Nor have I ever seen a fight.
Let me add that even grouchy Johnny likes to play with me now. He
likes the way I pass the ball to him whenever he is open. We are
actually pretty hard to beat when we play together. He even gave me
a 'high five' recently when I went up to congratulate him on a
difficult game-winning shot.
During my time at Fonde Rec, I have made several black friends.
There is a calm rapport between whites and blacks in this building
that makes me proud. This experience suggests to me that America has
begun to grow up.
THE BELLAIRE POLICE
Two weeks ago I heard the word 'race' brought up at that gym for
only the second time. Recently there was an ugly, terrible incident
in Bellaire where a white policeman shot an unarmed black kid while
he was lying on the ground. Lawyers and black activists immediately
began shouting that the incident had been racially-motivated.
One of my black friends was sitting next to me waiting till it was
our turn to play again. He asked me where my dance studio was. After
I replied 'Bellaire', he nodded and said that's what he had heard.
Then he asked me how long I been there. 'Thirty years'. Then he
asked me another question - "Do you think the Bellaire cops are
racists?"
I pondered his question for a minute, then replied, "The Bellaire
police that I know are not racists. They hassle everybody who drives
through their area regardless of race, but I have never had any
knowledge that they single out people because of their race. They
pull over everybody! My own lily-white dance students have been
stopped many times. I myself have been stopped for picky traffic
violations at least six times over the years.
For that matter, they have blacks on their staff. In fact, the only
time I ever caught a break was from a black Bellaire officer. I was
in a hurry to get to the studio and had forgotten my wallet. I
didn't have my license, I couldn't find my current insurance card, I
was speeding, plus I had illegally crossed lanes in my hurry to get
to the studio. When I saw the police lights in my mirror, I was so
rattled I actually drove up on the curb! The cop could have just as
easily concluded I was drunk. Instead he was pretty decent to me. He
could have cited me for four different violations, but picked only
the smallest one to give me a ticket for. My guess is if he was
angry himself, he wouldn't have been so lenient with me. That was
the day I decided the Bellaire police must be okay."
My friend nodded. Then he said, "You know, Rick, my own son was
stopped by a Bellaire cop once. He got a ticket for something stupid
like having his high beams on. The cop asked him questions that made
him feel like he was suspected of being a criminal. Half his friends
said they had heard of other stories like this. I told him to never
drive through Bellaire again. So now a black kid gets shot in cold
blood, but things are staying cool. If this had happened even two
years ago, my community might have lit up like a powder keg over an
incident like this. Now people say they will wait to see how things
are handled. When it comes to the cops, I have never seen this kind
of trust before. It's almost like they expect the investigators are
going to be fair without having to make a huge protest."
............
So here we are in 2009.
It has been 46 years since the young black man challenged me to a
fight. Say what you want about Mr. Obama, but in my opinion, I
believe his candidacy has helped heal our nation's racial wounds to
a remarkable extent. Furthermore, this transformation has happened
so fast!
Many Blacks were profoundly amazed that white Americans were willing
to vote for a black man. Years of bitterness and skepticism were
contradicted by with solid evidence that much of white America no
longer cares about the color of someone's skin. This realization has
created so much good will that many African-Americans have come to
the conclusion that finally they are being included in the "System"
after all. This is their 'America' too.
White fear of blacks has diminished; Black hostility towards whites
has diminished. The way my basketball friend explained it, if whites
are willing to trust Mr. Obama enough to vote for him after the
insanity of Reverend Wright, then maybe the blacks can overcome
their skepticism and trust the Bellaire Police Department to do the
right thing as well.
This alone indicates a level of harmony between the races today I
never believed would be possible.
................
AND THAT'S A WRAP FOR JANUARY 2009 ISSUE 4. THANKS FOR READING!
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