There were Three Newsletters in February 2009

The February 2009 SSQQ Newsletter  Issue One
Written by Rick Archer

The February 2009 SSQQ Newsletter
Issue One
Written by Rick Archer


THE THREE-YEAR UPDATE ON THE SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE STORY
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2009story.htm

With Valentine's Day rapidly approaching, I am pleased to report that Slow Dance and Romance is indeed alive and well here at SSQQ.

In 2008, we had 15 Weddings that were either be directly attributed to SSQQ or that SSQQ played a significant role in creating. This amazing total was actually just par for the course. Over the past 10 years, I have listed 147 Weddings that SSQQ has been involved in... and that's just counting the ones I know about. There are plenty more, believe me.

2009 has already brought us our first SSQQ Wedding. Former SSQQ Dance Instructor Leo Skiba married his long-time sweetheart Rebecca Turini in early January 2009. Leo met Rebecca in 2005 when she took his Beginning Two Step class here at the studio. Leo promises me plenty of details and a picture!

Furthermore, as I write, there are at least five more SSQQ weddings right around the corner: Patty Pennington and Guy Hoover, Olga Bochareva and Luis Castillo, Gerry Francis and Amy Adams, Keith Patterson and Penny Gunderson, plus Gus Donnell and Fran Zandstra.

We are approaching the three year anniversary of my Matchmaker Story about the history of the studio's legendary ability to create positive relationships.

For those of you who are new to the studio, in 2006 the Houston Chronicle interviewed me for an article they ran on Valentine's Day. I had a great interview with the reporter that lasted well over an hour, but I had mixed feelings when I saw the story in the paper. On the one hand, it was a great compliment to see SSQQ given so much credit for creating Romances. But at the same time I was frustrated because so many stories I had shared with the reporter were omitted for lack of space.

So I decided to write my own story for the SSQQ Newsletter. While I was researching my Newsletter archives, I realized that I had never completely written the entire story about the studio's amazing role in creating Romance. Every time I finished one story, another story popped into my mind. I kept typing away. One chapter followed another. The next thing I knew, I had ended up writing a small book on the subject. I published the eight-chapter article known as "The Matchmaker" here on the SSQQ Web Site in March 2006.

The SSQQ Marriage Factory has been remarkably productive over the years, but you might be surprised I never even realized just how effective the studio was at producing Weddings until the Internet came along. There were countless SSQQ marriages during the first twenty years of our program, but I never thought to write them down. That changed when the Internet came along. 1999 marked the first full year for the SSQQ web site. Every time there was a wedding or an engagement, I now had an easy way to post the information for everyone to read about. From that point on, when someone like Leo and Rebecca emailed me to report their wedding, it took about 15 seconds to add the item to the Newsletter.

Each month during 1999, I would simply add more wedding reports as they came in (email helped a lot too; it became easy for students to drop a quick post to me).

One evening late in 1999, I decided to review all the different months. As I was going over the year, it dawned on me there sure were a lot of Wedding and Engagement notices. So I started to count...

(RICK ARCHER'S NOTE: This story is continued at
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2009story.htm

..................................
WESTERN LINE DANCING CLASS WITH ANITA WILLIAMS

SUNDAY AFTERNOONS 3:30-4:30 PM. Starts Sunday, February 8.

This class will meet three Sundays in February and will cost $25 To register, just show up.

Line Dancing as most people are well aware is a series of steps danced in unison by a group of people in line formation. Everyone is doing the same step at the same time. It is very popular with all ages and can be fast or slow, set to all types of music and dance styles. (i.e. cha-cha, waltz, east coast swing, polka, jazz)

Line Dancing has several benefits. It doesn't require a dance partner, it promotes cardiovascular health through physical workouts of varying intensity, it increases mobility, it creates the opportunity for creativity and memorizing the patterns exercises your brain.

That's the official description. The unofficial description is that Line Dancing is Fun! It is dancing and exercise rolled into one.

Since the class is open to both Beginners and Intermediate dancers, Anita will teach two to three dances each week, some easy, some difficult. In addition, she will review them so you won't forget them.

What to bring: soled shoes or tennis shoes, layered clothing, a sense of humor.

What to expect: Expect to have a lot of fun.

Rick Archer's Note: Some classes are offered at SSQQ to pay the rent and some classes are offered to nurture the soul. This is a class that deserves to succeed. We have decided to skip starting it Superbowl Sunday, but plan on joining the following Sunday, February 8 at 3:30 pm. Just show up!

BACKGROUND ON THE LINE DANCE CLASS
Anita Williams began teaching at SSQQ in 1996. Besides being an awesome dancer, Anita is also very funny! She is teaching this class at my request. You would be surprised how many people bug me about Line Dancing. When Cher Longoria told me Anita had won a major line dance contest recently, I decided to ask her what she thought.

Anita replied, "Rick, check out this new dance I learned at when I went to World's this year...


In response to your question, I'd love to see something like this take off at the studio, but it's hard to get line dancing going in Texas. If we were up north, no problem but here in Houston it's not so popular.

I guess people think of it as a little old lady's dance, but if people saw some of the new stuff they would be amazed. It's so much fun. BTW did you know that 90% of the line dances are NOT country music?"
..........

ANITA'S RESUME

SSQQ Veterans will remember that Anita competed with the SSQQ World Champion dance team known as Heartbeat around 2001
( http://www.ssqq.com/stories/advent35.htm

Besides Heartbeat, Anita has also competed individually. She advanced to the professional level in 2003 and won the UCWDC World's West Coast Swing Female Diamond Advanced title. Anita has coached amateur students to numerous championships including 4 World titles and one National title.

Anita currently competes in line dance at the advanced and Showcase level. She recently placed 2nd overall at UCWDC World's in Advanced Classic line dance and 3rd in Showcase Line Dance competition. When Anita is not competing, she teaches line dance at various dance events all over the country. ..................

UPDATE ON CONQUEST 2009, OUR SUMMER DANCE CRUISE
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/conquest2009.htm

Welcome aboard to seven new passengers!
Jack Myers
Jo Wilson
Keith Baker
Betty Baker
Gene Garner
Charlie Denton
Rowena Roche

----- Original Message -----
From: e
To: marla@ssqq.com
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 9:23 AM
Subject: Carribean Cruise in August - Questions

Marla,

Hi, I have been reading about the SSQQ trips for years now in the newsletter. I'm finally in a position in my life to consider going. I do have some questions, though.

If you don't have a roommate do you collect names of those who are looking for people to share with and match them up (sort of potluck like at camp)? If there is an odd number I guess that person will need to pay a single room rate? Does that even exist or is it double the price? I've never been on a cruise so I don't know how that all works.

In the past what has been the mix of people? Are they mainly couples? Are there lots of single women and men or has it been mainly couples and a few singles? Of course I'm concerned that it will be heavy with single women on the dancing nights.


From: Marla
Sent: Friday, January 30, 2009 3:26 PM
To: e
Subject: Re: Carribean Cruise in August - Questions

Hello Elizabeth,

1. I match up roommates based on the cabin type selected and then the passenger's age.
Yes, it is like potluck. Most times it works; once in a while you roll your eyes. One hint: If the registration form is turned in prior to the deadline, we will do our best to find a roommate scientifically.
last minute signups can't be choosy. Single occupancy is always an option.

2. The Caribbean cruise mix is usually 60% singles/40% couples. The ratio of men to women is usually 40%men/ 60% women. Whether you dance or not is pretty much up to you. If you wait for someone to ask you, you will sit for awhile. Feel free to ask people to dance.. .
The best thing to do is to take some group dance classes prior to the cruise and get to know everybody.

All I can tell you is that I was new to the studio in 2001 and signed up for the cruise. The boy/girl ratio and the married to single ratio was not any different then. I met my future husband on the cruise. I am not saying that this will happen to you, but life is what you wish to make of it.

I hope you will join us,

.......................

UPDATE ON OUR BARCELONA 2009 TRIP
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/barcelona2009.htm

From: Marla Archer
Sent: Friday, January 23, 2009 4:47 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Barcelona

Hello Everybody,
We are currently up to 37 passengers who are headed to the world's most favorite Western Mediterranean cruise destinations.
If you have been sitting on the fence, it is now time to sign up for the cruise! Don't miss out on sharing so many adventures with all your friends in the world's most favorite vacation destination.

A $250 deposit will hold your spot on the trip all the way until final payment on July 15th, 2009. That is right, you have six months to save for this fabulous cruise!

Royal Caribbean has given me a few more days to hold on to my reserved group space. We have until Wednesday, January 28th to add anyone to the group. On Thursday, January 29th I can still add people to our group, however it will be at the prevailing rate.

Group Pricing is as follows:
Inside Category N -- $896 per person cruise only
Oceanview Category I -- $1136 per person cruise only
Balcony Category E1 -- $1446 per person cruise only
All prices are double occupancy.
You will be pleased to know that this trip has become less expensive. For one thing, the fuel surcharge is gone. In addition, the room prices have dropped $170 for the Inside Cabins, $220 for Oceanview, and $60 less for Balconies. Also encouraging is the Euro to Dollar ratio has improved dramatically in our favor since last year's trip. Air fare has dropped considerably as well. This trip will never be inexpensive, but at least it is becoming more of a bargain.
I hope you will decide to join us for another trip of a lifetime! Don't miss out on this wonderful experience!!!
You may email or fax me the information or simply hand the form to Rick or me at the studio.
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/barcelona2009registration.htm
....................

ARGENTINE TANGO: SONJA AND NOE SHOW OFF!

Sonja Strathearn and Noe Rosas received a well-deserved round of applause for their performance at the recent SSQQ Salsa-Tango Party. Sonja and Noe have been working hard to bring Argentine Tango here to SSQQ and their work seems to be paying off. In January, their Beginning Argentine Tango class on Tuesday had 30 people in it.

I was so curious about the dance that I took Noe and Sonja's Crash Course on the same night as their performance. I was pleasantly surprised. Unlike a previous Argentine class that left me confused and unimpressed, the style that Sonja and Noe teach is easy to understand and very attractive.

I predict that as our two teachers gain experience, we will develop an impressive Argentine Tango program here at the studio.

By the way, I'm not positive, but I believe Noe and Sonja intend to perform again at the February 21 Salsa Explosion Party.
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party04salsa.htm

In the meantime, you can see them perform now because Sonja forwarded me a link to a video of their January performance!

January 17, 2009 - Tango Performance - Noe and Sonja


RACE RELATIONS IN AMERICA

In the previous Newsletter, I wrote a lengthy article about Race Relations in America. It was my position that Race Relations have improved dramatically over the years and especially since the Obama Presidential Campaign.

By and large, my article was met by the deafening roar of silence. However I did receive one comment which I will share with you.

-----Original Message-----
From: G
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2009 7:26 PM
To: ssqqnewsletter@ssqq.com
Subject: Re: January 2009 SSQQ Newsletter Issue Four

Rick,
Food for thought on your comments about the new president etc. and how good it will be for our country.

What about when the mix of students at your studio goes from one black to 2, to a group, to a big unruly group to the point us old whites go elsewhere?
I bet if you start getting them (Blacks) as a big customer base and then it may not seem so cool.
I am neutral and like it when your newsletter is too. Don't lean to black too quick.

-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Archer
To: g
Sent: Wed, 28 Jan 2009 10:49 am
Subject: race relations January 2009 SSQQ Newsletter Issue Four

Our Salsa crowd is 70% Hispanic. Salsa dancing continues to be our strongest dance program. Personally, I am thoroughly grateful for their continued support of my program. Even though I don't have a clue about Salsa Dancing, this group of people has always been warm to me when I drop by to visit.

Many of these Hispanic people do not have Internet, do not speak English well, have much education, or have deep roots in the Houston community. Some of these people have to dig deep just to come up with $40 or $50 for tuition. Nevertheless, when they are here at the studio, they come here to laugh, smile, dance, have fun, and see their friends.

Furthermore despite the fact that the studio is incredibly crowded on Salsa Nights, there is a high degree of harmony and friendship. This group gives us no trouble whatsoever.

Let me add that I personally was shocked at the level of rude behavior on our August dance cruise in 2008. At least seven different people behaved in ways that made me deeply uncomfortable.

If you don't believe me, I have documented their actions thoroughly. http://www.ssqq.com/travel/conquest2008story01.htm

I didn't post their pictures, but let me now point out that every one of these people were white. In addition these seven were affluent, well-educated, and very privileged.

There are good people and bad people of every race.

Our country will never achieve its full potential until we stop looking at the color of people's skin.
................


PLUMBER FINDS RING IN TOILET
By AMANDA LEE MYERS
Associated Press o January 24, 2009

It took a plumber to retrieve a woman's 7-carat diamond ring after city workers failed in efforts to flush the gem out of the pipes of a restaurant toilet.

The $70,000 wedding ring fell from Allison Berry's hand when she flushed the toilet in the restroom of the Black Bear Diner on Jan. 14, the plumber said. The ring plopped in and the water whisked it away, said Elena Castelar, the restaurant's shift manager.

Berry and her fiancé first called a plumber. This man told them it was a lost cause. Their next step was to contact the city of Phoenix. City workers opened up a pipe outside of the restaurant, and then flushed the toilet repeatedly, hoping that the engagement ring would be forced out. But the diamond ring was stuck.

City workers opened a pipe outside the restaurant and continuously flushed the toilet, hoping to push the ring out to the opening. When that didn't work, the city called the office in suburban Tempe of Mr. Rooter, a plumbing services franchise based in Waco, Texas.

"This is going to be like dredging for a treasure chest in the ocean," Mike Roberts, general manager of Mr. Rooter, said at the time.

Using a long rod, Roberts guided a tiny video camera into the pipe with an infrared light attached. After several hours of searching, he eventually spotted the ring just 3 feet down and 5 feet over from where it was flushed.

Then it took an hour-and-a-half of jackhammering and pipe removal before Roberts and a technician could recover the ring, eight hours after it fell in the toilet.

"They always say diamonds are a girl's best friend. In this case, a plumber is a girl's best friend," Roberts said. "She was just so excited, she had tears in her eyes. She gave us a hug and said 'Thank you so much.'"

The Mr. Rooter bill came to $5,200 and the city's bill was $1,000.

Berry, of Eureka, Calif., and her husband also tipped Roberts and the technician $400 each and gave $200 to a diner employee for staying late.
...............

COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH:
THE DAUGHTER OF DYNAMIC GRAPHICS FOUNDER DEFENDS HER FATHER'S MEMORY AGAINST RICK ARCHER'S GARBAGE ARTICLE

Rick Archer's Note: Many of you have complimented me over the years over the unusual artwork displayed on the SSQQ Dance Studio walls. This artwork was created by an anonymous man who worked for Dynamic Graphics, a commercial graphic arts service.

I have been subscribing to this service since 1984. Now you know where I get the magnificent artwork you see on the SSQQ web site.

Over the years, I have had two major issues with this company. One, they refuse to disclose the identity of the artist. I admire his work so much and I long to pay him homage, but it doesn't look like I will ever get my chance thanks to the paranoid attitude of this company.

Even more irritating is the company's insistence on charging me money to buy photographs from them. When I became a member of the art service, for twenty years I received a steady supply of wonderful graphics. Then some moron decided to find a way to get the customers to pay for photographs.

To make a long story short, they decided to force their customers to pay for the photographs if they wanted to continue to get the artwork too. I deeply resented their position. So I wrote an article on my web site addressing my concerns.

http://www.ssqq.com/stories/advent44.htm

This article has never generated much interest. At the present, my article about Dynamic Graphics is positioned at 102 on Google if you type in 'Dynamic Graphics'.

However, one woman discovered my article and had an absolute hissy fit.



From: kmmyb
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2009 5:12 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Dynamic Graphics

I came across you letter on the internet regarding Dynamic Graphics. My father started this company in 1964 after his father started Multi-ad services in 1945. He was thrown out by his employees in 1962 and being despondent committed suicide. My father sued and won and started Dynamic Graphics. If you knew the history and my father and his dedication and the background, you would be more appreciative. Kim Bryan


From: Rick Archer
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2009 7:55 PM
To: 'kmmyb'
Subject: RE: Dynamic Graphics

Why would my "lack of appreciation" for Dynamic Graphics in any way be affected by your father's story?

The point of my story is that the company has made terrible decisions by forcing unwanted photographs down our throats and eliminating their top artists.

What does any of my problem have to do with your family's history? I doubt seriously that your father had anything to do with what I am upset about.


From: kim bryan
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2009 9:50 PM
To: 'Rick Archer'
Subject: RE: Dynamic Graphics


This company was my father's vision and his life. He died in 1992 and if you had known him you would not desecrate his life and what he did. You know nothing about Dynamic Graphics. You have 1 tiny experience that you put all over the internet about a company my father created. He did not even know about the internet. He created a company out of a legacy his father left. I lived it. I felt it. Your experience in regards to this company is so small in compared to mine or all the employees who came to his funeral telling me how they loved him and what he did for them. Even I was in awe of what they had to say. He took care of everyone he employed and they loved him. You have some selfish little experience and you can not see farther than that. Everyone and everything has a story and those who are so arrogant to think their story is the only one and the defining one are living in selfishness. The history behind this company is so huge and compelling yet you have some stupid small experience about an artist and by the way, an artist that received exposure due to what my father created, that I call this arrogance. Every artist he bought artwork from was very thankful and caring and loyal to him. He was a creative person with a vision for his time. I miss him every day and the Dynamic Graphics emblem is on his crypt.
You, I have no use for.



From: Rick Archer
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 11:21 AM
To: 'kim bryan'
Subject: RE: Dynamic Graphics


"You, I have no use for."


Ms. Bryan, if you have actually read my article, you will note that I have paid out at least $1,000 a year to Dynamic Graphics... now Jupiter Images... since 1984. At one point I had double subscriptions as well for about fifteen years. Not only have I been a loyal customer of your father's 'vision' for 25 years, by my estimate, I have paid out well over $50,000 in subscription fees. Even at today's inflated prices, I could buy a luxury car for those kind of numbers.

It is people like me that keep DG and JI in business. Most business people would be appreciative of customers like me, but you seem to be the peculiar exception.

You disrespect me because I had the nerve to protest the company's business decision to force unwanted photographs down my throat? In your mind, I am 'arrogant', 'selfish', 'tiny'. And I have somehow insulted a man I have never even heard of. Interesting. I totally reject your narrow-minded position.

As a review of my position, I originally came to your father's company to buy commercial artwork. I never signed up to purchase photography. My camera allows me to take any picture I want.

It seems to me that Dynamic Graphics has drifted terribly from your father's vision. I wrote an article on the Internet to share my attitude because the company's representatives basically said 'Tough. Take it or leave it'. I decided to continue my subscription, but I resented it then and continue to resent the company's policy. I assume you acknowledge I have the right to share my complaint about Dynamic Graphics.

And now you have the nerve to call me 'selfish' for protesting the company's policy to shove these unwanted photos down the customer's throat.

Furthermore, how you manage to take offense at my legitimate right to protest and link my words in some way as being disrespectful to your deceased father's memory is quite a stretch.

Now that you have had your fun insulting me, maybe you could do me a favor and tell me the name of the artist whose work I admire so much.



From: kim bryan
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 1:26 PM
To: 'Rick Archer'
Subject: RE: Dynamic Graphics

If I had it I would tell you, because my father only bought art and hired artists he admired and thought could have value to the company. My father founded this company in 1964 after a law suit with Multi-Ad services that broke him and my family. Then he built this company from the ground up. When he got cancer he did not want his employees to be without jobs so he sold it to them before his death. Wish I could help you, but I can't. I just know that the what my father accomplished and created out of nothing you could not do. You can only use the internet to air your complaints in a very small fashion.


From: Rick Archer
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 1:45 PM
To: 'kim bryan'
Subject: RE: Dynamic Graphics

"I just know that the what my father accomplished and created out of nothing you could not do."

I am amused to note that you have just insulted me yet again. This is quite an ability you have.

I have created the largest dance studio in the United States of America out of nothing. This has been my life's work for the past thirty years. I might add the wonderful artwork from your father's company has been instrumental in helping me build the studio's success during this time.

Besides teaching 1300 people to dance every month, my studio has created 150 marriages in the past ten years alone.

But then I guess in your set of values building a dance studio from the ground up doesn't begin to compare to creating an art service.



From: kim bryan
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 2:19 PM
To: 'Rick Archer'
Subject: RE: Dynamic Graphics

If what you say is true then I do appreciate someone who has created something out of nothing. Maybe you can then understand that my father's legacy is not just an "art service" just as yours is not just a "dance studio". I do not believe I am the one insulting. I did not write garbage on the internet about your dance studio. You should be proud of what you have created. Just as I am proud of what my father accomplished. Yes no one is insulting you. You are insulting me. Do you have someone who will be left to appreciate what you have done? I am left to do so for my father. He died an untimely death still working to the end to provide for his employees.



Kim Bartel, Daughter of the founder of Dynamic Graphics

A company with a legacy of caring for its employees. A company my father dedicated his life to so that his father's life would not be in vain.


From: Rick Archer
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 2:58 PM
To: 'kim bryan'
Subject: RE: Dynamic Graphics


"I do not believe I am the one insulting."

"I did not write garbage..."


There you go again. Like I said, Ms. Bryan, you have a definite knack for insulting. You just implied that what I wrote about Dynamic Graphics was 'garbage'. Not the most pleasant metaphor.

I understand a daughter who wishes to honor her father's memory, but tilting at windmills a la Don Quixote is not the right way to go about it.

A quick review of my article will reveal I have never once said anything derogatory about your father. And if you think my quibble about the photography issue is some sort of indirect poke at your father, then you obviously have a very thin skin.


From: kim bryan
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 7:19 PM
To: 'Rick Archer'
Subject: RE: Dynamic Graphics

Go Dance Away
...............


AND THAT'S A WRAP FOR FEBRUARY 2009 ISSUE 1. THANKS FOR READING!

The February 2009 SSQQ Newsletter Issue Two
Written by Rick Archer

THE NEW FEBRUARY SSQQ DANCE SCHEDULE BEGINS SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/schedule.htm

Students are always welcome to start class in the Second Week of the Dance Semester.
In particular, we could use more men in my Intermediate Western Waltz class. Although there are 35 people signed up, we had six extra ladies last week while you manly brutes were busy watching the Super Bowl Pregame show.

For you men who haven't gotten the memo, Waltz more than any other dance seems to affect women emotionally. If the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, a woman's heart is especially available through a Waltz.

If you don't believe me, I once wrote a very interesting story about this phenomenon.
To read about the Waltz Kings, visit
http://www.ssqq.com/stories/advice1.htm

By the way, we also need extra ladies in Martian Whip Technique on Sundays/Mondays 7 pm.
...............


DANCE PARTIES IN FEBRUARY:
THE RED AND WHITE VALENTINES SWING PARTY
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party3.htm

Saturday, February 14, 9 - 11:30 pm
Crash Courses 7-9 PM
(to register for a class, just show up around 6:45 pm)

CINDERELLA'S WALTZ (ADVANCED PATTERNS) - Rick
SLOW DANCING - Marla (couples only)
RUMBA - The Latin Dance of Romance - Jill
PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ: BEGINNING SWING - Becky
VALENTINE'S DAY SWING PATTERNS (ADVANCED PATTERNS) - Maureen
SINATRA FOXTROT - Jack

About the Party: There will be mostly Swing music (both East and West Coast) played at this party. In addition, as a nod to the Romantic nature of the evening, expect many Waltzes and some Sinatra Foxtrots as well. And I will take song requests as well.

In addition, if I hear ONE MORE 'SINGLE' PERSON tell me they aren't coming because it will only be couples, I will beat them with a pillow. That is a promise.

This is a dance party. At SSQQ, everyone dances with everyone. For example, I am happily married, but I promise you that Marla and I do not want to dance exclusively with each other all night long. Married people like to dance with single people too! We are all friends, remember?

You single people need to quit acting like refugees from a leper colony. Singles will not be 'singled out', I assure you. In addition, we will do some John-Paul-Jones dances and partner switching dances so that everyone participates.


THE SSQQ SALSA EXPLOSION DANCE PARTY THIS WEEKEND!
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party04salsa.htm

Saturday, February 21, 9 - Midnight
CRASH COURSES 7-9 PM
(To register, just show at 6:45 and pay at the door)

DIRTY SALSA - Dakota
BEG BACHATA - Linda
BEG SALSA - Angela and Morris
SALSA DIPS AND LUNGES - Noe
BEGINNING CUMBIA - Steve
INTERMEDIATE SALSA PTNS - Ulyses and Shelli
There will be a Salsa dance demonstration during the party plus Sonja and Noe will demonstrate Argentine Tango again.
.................................



STEVE GABINO, MASTER PHOTOGRAPHER
http://www.ssqq.com/halloween/stevegabino.htm

This issue of the SSQQ Newsletter features our annual review of the Best Costume Contest from the 2008 Party.

If the first thought that crosses your mind is that we are closer to the 2009 Party than we are to the 2008 Party, then that shows you what a small, narrow-minded person you are. I deliberately take my sweet time working on these important decisions so that each choice is PERFECT. But that's our next story.

Right now I wish to honor Steve Gabino, the man who takes those wonderful Halloween Party pictures for us! Not only is Steve one of the most popular SSQQ instructors, he is very kind to share his immense talents with us at Halloween time.

Recently I discovered that Steve is available as a freelance photographer. Considering how many couples get married through SSQQ, Steve went out and bought a camera hoping to catch some Wedding Business on the side. What a clever idea! And it worked too!

Actually I am kidding a little.

Steve has been honing his photography skills on a near-daily basis ever since digital cameras came along. I think it is great that Steve is able to parlay a hobby into a side business. I did the same thing with 'dancing' about 34 years ago and it worked out pretty well for me.

Maybe we will see a "Great Gabino Photography Shop" one of these days!

If you would like to learn more about Steve and his photography skills, please visit:
http://www.ssqq.com/halloween/stevegabino.htm
..............

Halloween Best Costumes 2008
 

(Suggestion: Before you read this story, you should click the link above to open up the SSQQ Best Costume page. This will allow you to follow the story and be able to reference the pictures more easily. You will notice I refer to other years on a frequent basis. There are links at the bottom of all pages that allow you to time travel to the various years fairly easily.)

The SSQQ Halloween Party is famous for several reasons. One, our Party has a well-deserved reputation for wonderful costumes. The costumes range from the beautiful to the macabre, from sexy to funny, plus there are always several costumes that are so creative and original we can't help but applaud!

Our Halloween Party is also famous for exasperation because Rick Archer is ridiculously slow at publishing the pictures. As you can see, this year is no exception. Some things never change.

Oh, quit your quibbling. Better late than never! Besides, it's free.
We have already read about Steve Gabino and his marvelous photography work. So now let's go see who won what and start belly-aching about the people who shoulda been the winners but got ignored instead.

TOP 10 COSTUMES FROM THE 2008 HALLOWEEN PARTY.

As you can see, this year's headliners are the Big Bad Wolves. Now we have had Big Bad Wolf winners before (eg, 1999 Best Costumes, 2000 Best Costumes), but these were exceptionally Good Big Bad Wolf costumes. In fact, they were pure Clint Eastwood: Good, Bad, and Ugly.

1 - Stan Romney and his lovely friend Debbie came as the Big Bad Wolf and Little Riding Hood.

Stan and Debbie have been regular winners in our "Best Costume" contest for several years. They were Runner-Up stars in 2005 as Popeye and Olive Oyl. They took Runner-Up honors again in 2006 with some sharp Roaring 20s Speakeasy costumes. Last year 2007 they hit the Top Ten as Gepetto and Pinocchio. Wonderful costumes for four years running! My hat is off to this couple for their continued excellence. Oddly enough, I don't think they have ever taken a dance class here. That alone shows they won because they are the only people who have never complained about a thing.
2 - When it comes to "Big Bad Wolf", we had some guy who was very impressive.

What big teeth he has! Sorry, I don't know who he is, but he looks mean enough to take out Wolverine from X-Men. I looked through the other 2008 pictures to see if he took off his mask, but didn't catch any useful glimpse. Maybe someone can help me out with his identity!

3 - Who are these scary people? Or, to paraphrase the Lone Ranger, "Who are those masked men?"

For two straight years, there has been a very scary couple that has REFUSED to take their masks off. This presents a real problem for me. You see, many people who come to the SSQQ party worry about people who don't take off their masks.

To them, this goes straight to their deepest fears that REAL MONSTERS DO ATTEND THIS PARTY. I refuse to confirm or deny this allegation other than to say it is a distinct possibility. Let me add this is a subject I prefer not to write too much about for fear that it might affect attendance. There have been mysterious disappearances over the years. People come to the Party and then we never see them again. I just tell them they met someone cute and have better things to do than dance, but deep down I admit I wonder myself.

That said, I openly admit this particular 2008 Monster couple (Chucky and the Spike-haired Alien Babe) are flesh and blood human beings. But other people didn't know this. Chucky and Spike certainly did frighten a lot of people at this year's party. I got a lot of complaints!

Nor is this the first time guests have complained to me about this same couple! It happened last year too. I let Chuck and Spike get away with it last year, but I am telling you, they will hurt future attendance if I don't say something right now. That explains why I have decided to take matters into my own hands and unmask My Favorite Monsters. Their names are Bob and Ana!

For two straight years, Bob Graham and Ana Torres have remained hidden from the world inside their marvelous Monster costumes. That's right - Bob and Ana are the Monsters! You people are scared to death of two of the nicest people at the studio!

Personally speaking, although Bob and Ana are so scary they cause me headaches, I have to begrudgingly admit I admire their endurance. Some of you know exactly what I am talking about when I say it gets REALLY HOT inside those costumes, especially after you dance a little. Most people at least take off their masks for a breath of fresh air. Not Bob and Ana! They keep those hideous rubber masks on the entire night. Those masks are hot, they are uncomfortable, they limit your vision, they itch, and worst of all they make you feel very claustrophobic. These two have to be miserable inside those outfits!

And they suffer for what reason? So people can complain about how ugly and scary they are? Whoa, now that's a big reward! Such a payoff!

Personally, I am glad they suffer. After you read about their rotten behavior, you will all agree they deserve an entire night of Punishment.

Actually Chuck and Spike perform a huge public service at the party. How would my party ever be successful without some big, ugly monsters? I mean, think about it. A lot of people come to this studio looking stunning, sexy, colorful, and beautiful. They breathe fresh air all night long. And with ugly monsters standing around, the Beautiful People look even more beautiful! All the Beautiful People owe a great debt to Ugly People for providing such an obvious contrast!

So I think Bob and Ana deserve a Prize for their Service to the Beautiful People. Bob and Ana get my 2008 Ugly Costume Hero award for this year and for last year as well. Without their suffering, how could we appreciate true beauty?

Actually, it is kind of ironic that Ana Torres of all people gets "The Big Ugly" Award. What the world doesn't realize is that inside her Monster Costume lurks the face of a real beauty! When it comes to 'inner beauty', someone surely had Ana in mind. That's right, Ana Torres is not only one of the sweetest ladies I know, she is knockout pretty!

In my book, a woman this beautiful who spends an entire evening looking gruesome and repulsive two years in a row marks her as one heck of a neat girl! So when you see me hugging her as I am wont to do every time I see her, now you know why I think Ana is so special!

And while I am giving out compliments, Bob is definitely one of the nicest guys I know as well. He and Ana fit like a glove with their smiles and warmth.

You might be surprised to learn that despite the fact that I really both people, Bob and Ana are in BIG TROUBLE with me.

One week ago on Wednesday, January 28, these two characters showed up for my Ghost Town class wearing Matching Green outfits. Now, here's the deal. It is obvious the two have a lot of affection for each other. I don't have a problem with that. But when they wear Matching Color-Coordinated Outfits, they cross a line. People who are lonely see how happy they are and how obnoxiously cute they look together and they get envious. That's right - Bob and Ana are guilty of flaunting their happiness in front of an entire class (secretly, I think they are getting back at all of us for not appreciating them enough when they are ugly.)

So last week I gave them a warning - no more cute color-coordinated outfits! Knock it off.

Imagine my consternation when they wore the exact same obnoxious matching green outfits to the studio on Monday, February 2. The nerve! So I chewed them out again! They deserved to be chewed out!

Excessive cuteness is a serious fashion crime at SSQQ.
I figured two warnings should do it. You would thing a word to the wise should be sufficient. Wrong! On Wednesday, February 3, Bob and Ana were in my Ghost Town class. It was a big night. There were over 200 people at the studio that night! 50 of them were in my class. Fifty people is a lot of people to keep track of. So I was a little preoccupied.

But then it happened. Twenty minutes into class Bob and Ana made a big mistake - they stood next to each other. When I saw them wearing color-coordinated Burgundy outfits, I nearly went ballistic. The nerve!!! It didn't matter that they both turned Barney-purple with embarrassment. That ain't gonna get them off the hook. They were TOO CUTE!! Shame on both of them!
You know, Once is an incident. And Twice is a coincidence. But THREE TIMES IS DELIBERATE! They are both guilty of deliberately being TOO CUTE! This burgundy incident was no accident. Trust me. I have been around too long. I know when people are being deliberately color-coordinated because I am an expert. I am telling you they did it ON PURPOSE as a shameful attention-getting device!
And I told Bob and Ana I was going to teach them a lesson and write them up in the newsletter. Do not feel sorry for them. Do not try to make them feel better. They are getting what they deserve! This unacceptable behavior is tantamount to publicly sticking their tongue out at me! Tsk Tsk!

So let this be a warning to Bob and Ana and any other color-coordinated couples that this kind of behavior will not be tolerated at the studio. Knock it off! From now on, cute couples must wear un-matching outfits or expect to be publicly called out.

It is hard enough to be lonely and see a couple together that is so obviously happy together. But when they start dress alike, that is TOO MUCH. And I have to tell you, everyone in that room agreed with me. Bob and Ana had gone too far. They were TOO CUTE FOR WORDS! Shame on them. Next time I think I will spank them.

Furthermore they better not come to the 2009 Halloween Party wearing matching outfits. That will be the absolute last straw.
4 - Mara Rivas and Bruce Hanka won as Pirates for the second year in a row. Except this year they wore a different Pirate costume than last year. Mind you, their costumes were wonderful, but I would have never expected Halloween Party veterans like Bruce and Mara to make a Style Mistake of this magnitude!

So I asked Bruce why "Pirates" two years in a row. He replied, "Rick, you have people who come as Monsters two years in a row and you go gagagoogoo about how great they are. Why can't we be Pirates twice in a row? After all, Mara and I make great Pirates! This Best Costume stuff is a cutthroat business and no one is more cutthroat than we are."
Who can argue with that kind of logic?
5 - Sol Eisenbaum and Leanne Parkinson were just too cute as the Marx Brothers. Did you check out Sol's Cigar and Wink? By the way, I am too much of a gentleman to comment on Lee Ann's big grin.
Sol and Lee Ann are working on their own costume legacy. They were on last year's Runner-Up page as Good and Evil.
6 - Leslie and Nick Tenaro are certainly no strangers to the Winner's Circle. This year they came as Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Leslie gets extra credit for creating these costumes herself!
Leslie never lets me forget she how she once got 'business' from her Halloween Costume ability. In 2005, she and Nick made it to the Top Ten for the first time. They were awesome as a "Plug" and a "Socket". You have to go check out the picture! Leslie had the biggest grin in her picture (similar to Lee Ann's grin this year). You really have to hand it to Nick for being such a good sport and wearing that outfit. It was definitely a shocking sight to see!

When Leslie isn't winning Ballroom Contests and Costume Contests, she is a dermatologist. When a prospective client was Googling to find a Houston dermatologist, he (she?) was so taken with the sense of humor behind the 2005 costume that Leslie got a new client.

Nick and Leslie made Runnerup in 2006 as Zorro and his lovely Spanish Senorita.

Unfortunately they missed the 2007 Party when Nick unexpectedly had to leave town on a business emergency. Leslie was so disappointed she could barely see straight! She had her Adam and Eve costume ready to roll, but alas, she had to wait an entire year for its debut. And what a clever costume it is! Well worth the wait.
7 - Nick Aghazarian and Barbara Smith are newcomers to our Best Costume Circle. They were pretty wonderful. Nick was a rock star and Barbara, well, I'm not sure what Barbara was. There was a football hanging down (football fan?), but then there were the dollar bills as well. Maybe Barbara was a betting on football. Who knows? Maybe Barbara will write and explain her outfit to me.

My favorite story on confusing costumes goes all the way back to 1999. This was the year that Rocky Kneten came as a Mexican Folk monster known as "Chupacabra". Rocky never spoke a single word the entire night at the party. But he talked his girlfriend Laura Wild into coming as his costume interpreter. Laura came in a business outfit complete with pad and pencil and explanatory leaflets to be Rocky's "Official Spokesperson". She said she was trying to line up media appearances as well. Throughout the night Laura patiently explained his costume and his legend to anyone who asked. Meanwhile Rocky Chupacabra simply smiled for the cameras. I loved it!

Sorry to say, I briefly listened in once, but I didn't understand a thing Laura said. At the time, I thought her story was so weird it had to be made up. I thought this bizarre story was part of the joke.

It wasn't until 2007 that I actually saw a story on National Geographic that explained all about "Chupacabra". I was stunned to realize this thing really exists! So that's what Rocky and Laura had been up to! I grinned all the way through the N.G. show! What an imagination.

So maybe Barbara needs to hire a Costume Spokesperson for her next Halloween Costume! How about it, Nick?
8 - Joe Kintz and Bonnie Adams certainly had two of the most beautiful costumes this year. I am not sure they are "Renaissance" characters or someone out of "Heidi", but either way I thought they were wonderful.

And let me add that the unsung heroes here are that naughty couple Bob and Ana, My Favorite Monsters. As I said earlier, without ugly monsters running around the party, how would we ever appreciate just how beautiful Joe and Bonnie were on this night?
9 - Speaking of wonderful, Tresa Frazier came as Pine-o-Fresh Car Freshener. Now that costume was creative! I think her outfit got my biggest grin of the night, especially since she seemed to be enjoying herself so much. People's noses certainly perked up whenever she passed them by!
I think Tresa made this outfit herself. Isn't she a hoot!?
10 - Hats off to Jess and Pat Carnes for their "Hula Girl and the Sailor". Did you notice that 6' 8" Jess was the Hula Girl? Words do not totally describe the wonder of a 6' 8" man in a grass skirt. That guy has guts! Those long legs took a lot of grass to cover. I didn't even know grass grew that long.

And wasn't that a pretty cute sailor Jess came with?
I think my only regret of the entire party was that Jess did not get his picture taken with two very pretty girls who also wore grass skirts and Hawaiian leis. Now that would have been a picture to rival all the Sarah Palins!
11 - Finally we get to our Bad Boy and Bad Girl. Joel Konkel and Lori Hill came as the Devil and the Devil's consort. I heard they had a hell of a good time at the party.

Personally, I would never dream of wearing an outfit that might irritate the Devil, but Lori and Joel decided to throw caution to the winds and wear their taboo outfits. More power to them. You have to admire people who aren't superstitious. They better not get caught dead wearing those outfits in case they are heading downstairs. Or hope the D-Man has a sense of humor. "Gee, Mr. D, we are your biggest fans!"
12 - Now I am well aware that a Top Ten Best Costume List should stop some around "Ten", but I make the rules. If I want to post 12 Winners for 10 spots, that makes perfect sense to me. Besides, how can I possibly overlook giving an award to a 6' 2" man in drag with beautiful long legs, a winning smile, and a pretty face?
This party marks the second time that Karl Rorabacher has come to the SSQQ Halloween Party dressed as a woman.

Karl was quite a hit back at the 1999 party as well. He was younger then and (dare I say it?) rather "shapely" as well. Personally, I thought Karl was much prettier than his girlfriend that night, although I didn't bother sharing that opinion at the time. It bothered me that I couldn't take my eyes off of Karl!

Karl was so good-looking as a woman that he was kind of scary. In fact, Karl was even better looking than Cher Longoria that night. What I neglected to mention was that I wasn't the only guy who couldn't take his eyes off the tall lady in black. Karl was so attractive in drag that several unsuspecting men accidentally asked him to dance. I am telling you, Karl had some serious Curves! And who can forget that beautiful face? From a distance, Karl was definitely a Babe!

Once the men got close enough to pop the question, they were more than slightly freaked out that to see that Lola, er Karl that is, was really a guy. Karl definitely freaked out the entire place. There were some great costumes at the 1999 Party, but Karl was the hands-down hit of the night.

For this year's "Lola" reappearance, Karl seems to have toned it down a bit.

Comparing his 1999 picture to 2008, I noticed that Karl may have thickened a bit in the waist. I guess he has said goodbye to his girlish figure. I think wearing the two-piece that showed off his "masculine figure" was probably a good idea. He also didn't wear quite as much makeup. Consequently, the only guys who asked him to dance knew what they were getting into ahead of time.

Nevertheless, despite the changes, Karl was awesome again this year. I am sure you will all agree that Karl is almost as beautiful today as he was nine years ago.

And you know what, he sure danced a lot! All night long, Karl had a long line of women and men waiting to dance with him. Aren't Halloween Parties fun?
Our BEST GROUP PICTURE went to the "Stars of the 2008 Presidential Election".

Historically, there are two kinds of Group Pictures - Intentional and Unintentional.

Our very first "Group Picture" Award was presented in 1998 when four ghastly people showed up as people who "Did Not Survive the Titanic". Mind you, that the year when "Titanic" swept the Oscars. It was a great 'Intentional' costume.

Our second Group Picture award came in 2001. It featured another 'Intentional' group of crazies who came dressed as some MTV video complete with big red lips for the ladies and Blues Brothers sunglasses for the men. I wish I had learned more about their costumes because they were pretty striking together.
I probably should have given a Group award to the three naughty Boy Scouts in 2002, but for some reason the number 4 sticks in my mind as the minimum. 1 is a Single, 2 is a Couple, 3 is a Crowd, and 4 is a Group. The Boy Scouts came up one short.

In 2003, the Group Award went to constant publicity-hound Gareld McEathron and his beautiful wife Virginia who were stunning in their authentic Oriental robes. They joined three other people wearing similar outfits to create a very attractive 5-person group picture. Of course, this was an 'Unintentional' victory since Gareld had no idea someone would be there wearing a similar costume.

Gareld's stunning victory caught the eye of another notorious publicity hound, George Sargent. No stranger to excessive amounts of attention, Mr. Handsome was not going to leave anything to chance. For the following party, George talked his friends into coming as the characters from the Wizard of Oz. Naturally George took the plum role - Dorothy. He had great red slippers, but he forgot to bring Toto along.

This group formed was the best "Intentional Group Picture" in studio history. Four years later, the amazing 2004 Wizard of Oz Gang featuring Mr Handsome still stands unchallenged as the best Group Costume ever.

2004 featured an excellent Runner-Up Group that came dressed as Slows and Quicks. They were pretty cute!
Although you would think the Intentionals should have a built-in advantage, the winners of this contest usually goes to an "unintentional" group like Hippies or Pirates. 2005 was the perfect example.

2005 was won by a group of Unintentional Pirates. Amazing but true, that was probably the only year Bruce and Mara didn't come as Pirates! That was the year Mara came as a Hippie. She participated with a huge group of Unintentional Hippies who won the Runnerup Group prize.

There was no group winner in 2006.

I thought 2005 would be the end of that Pirate nonsense. Boy was I wrong. After "Pirates of the Caribbean", my gosh, there must have been 300 pirates at the 2007 Party! The whole studio went Pirate that year. Sure enough, Mara and Bruce were front and center in the Group Victory shot as Pirates. I think they were so taken with their success, the Pirate concept was permanently etched in their minds. Now I am deeply worried we may never see them in another costume.

Despite Bruce and Mara's best efforts, the Pirates did not win again this year in 2008. Instead, this year's nod for best Group Picture went to Sarah Palin and company - four guests, known troublemakers mind you, who unintentionally came to the party completely unaware that there were several other people tuned into the exact same twisted wave length.
Yes, the Sarah Palins plus Joe the Plumber definitely stole the Show! Historically, current events have always been fair game for costumes. One guy came as the Stock Market Crash of 1989. And don't forget the Titanic Victims in 1998. But I think my favorite costume in this category has to be the guy who came as "Baby Jessica", the little girl who fell in the well back in the early Eighties. Dressed in baby clothes, this guy carried that stupid well around him all evening long.

This year Mike Dwyer as Joe plus Teresa O'Donnell, Caroline Kelley, and Lacy Crary as our three Sarahs were good for a big grin. I especially liked Caroline in her red dress complete with shotgun and Baby Trig.

Indeed, Lacey and Caroline had the biggest grins all night long. They got teased a lot, but it didn't bother them at all. Their smiles indicated they absolutely reveled in all the attention given to them. Caroline especially showed great fondness for that gun. I heard there was a guy in a moose outfit who ran every time Caroline came near with her shotgun. Boy, I would loved to have gotten that picture!

And now we turn our attention to the TOP 10 RUNNER-UP COSTUMES from the 2008 Halloween Party. http://www.ssqq.com/halloween/halloweenbest2008runnerup.htm

As our party has grown over the years, so has the need to extend our recognition to more people for their creativity, hard work, and yes, willingness to spend lots of money in a desperate attempt for attention. Some of those costumes must have cost a small fortune to rent!

2002 marked the first time I created an "Honorable Mention" category to acknowledge the people who were near misses for the Top Ten. It wasn't until 2006 that I upgraded the status of the 'Honorable Mentions' to "Runner-Ups".

I cannot tell you how much easier this made my task in selecting best costumes. With so many good costumes, limiting the List to just ten costumes was driving me crazy.

This also expanded my chance to make some bribe money. For years, I have done my best Blagojevich effort to make some money and sell these honors. Sad to say, I don't usually get many takers, but having two pages seemed to help. The Also-Rans discretely inquired what it would take to make it into the Top Ten. I was pleased to be able to sell several 'Upgrades'.


Whenever the Blagojevich money dries up, I generally have to choose on merit. What a waste of time! Frankly speaking, that takes forever. There are just too many good costumes to choose from. It would be so much easier if people would just pay me some appearance money and get it over with. For ten bucks or so - we ain't taking Senate Seat money here mind you - someone's costume begins to look a whole lot better to me!

But, alas, as it stands, I have to slog through all the pictures and decide who is better than the other. Then after I complete this thankless and LARGELY UNPAID task, throughout the year people have the nerve to pull me aside and demand to know why their stupid unoriginal and unscary ghost outfit didn't win. Please, you have to do more than throw a blanket over your head to win this contest!
I actually do have some criterion to go by as opposed to "Eeny Meenie Mynie Mo Pick the Couple that pays the Most Dough".

As a rule, in my mind "Couples" have a huge advantage over "Singles". This year was no exception. Only four solo acts made Page One (including the Invisible Man) against nine couples. And not one Solo Act made Runner-Up. Now that ratio would improve instantly if someone would slip me some dough, but oh well, as Rod B and me know from first-hand experience, most people are too cheap to pay for value.
1 - Our first couple on Page Two was Dan and Judy Bates. I thought they wore wonderful 1800s Mississippi Riverboat costumes. However, Dan later informed me they actually Dickens costumes.
Mark Twain/ Dickens/Smickens, big deal. Either way, they look great so quit making me feel stupid for not knowing what your costume is! Or hire a Costume Spokesperson and do society a favor. No one likes to be embarrassed at showing Costume Ignorance. I should know.

By the way, Dan and Judy won Top Ten honors in 2006 as George and Martha Washington. They have a history of wonderful costumes.
2- This Salsa Couple was sensational. Shall I admit the young lady took my breath away? I don't know their names or how to describe what they are wearing other than 'leather', but they get my vote as the evening's hottest couple.
3 - Rowena Roche and Charlie Denton were definitely the coolest of the Hippies! Except that something bothers me about their costumes. Now that I think of it, I don't recall hippies being as clean cut or costume-coordinated as Charlie and Rowena. But they were definitely gorgeous together!

On second inspection, maybe Charlie and Rowena are a Disco couple. Their Peace symbols have me confused. I hate Costume Confusion!
This was Rowena's first trip to the Winner's Circle, but Charlie previously won for his Blood, Guts, and Al Gore outfit in 2006. It was only later that I realized he should have been disqualified after I was told that's how Charlie usually looks at work.
4 - Fortunately some real Hippies showed up. Jackie Chang and Jack Benard were positively groovy! And yes, this is more the "Look" I recall from this era.

I would like to thank Jack and Jackie, or Double Jack (DJ for short) as they are sometimes known, for their continued excellence in Halloween costumes. DJ first drew all eyes when they came to the 2006 Party as sensational characters out of Arabian Nights. Who can forget their colorful costumes with Jack as the eight foot tall Genie and Jackie as the shapely "I Dream of Genie" girl?

Following their success of 2006, this "IT" couple did "IT" again in 2007, making our Top Ten for the second year in a row. Taking a page out of Bruce and Mara's playbook, they came as Pirates of the Caribbean along with three hundred other guests. Let me add that with apologies to Bruce, in 2007 Jack was much scarier as a Pirate than Mr Hanka (Bruce tends to be more of the pretty pirate type). How Jack danced with that hook in his hand is beyond me, but he gave "Hooked on Swing" a whole new meaning.
This year, unlike Bruce and Mara, DJ decided to be original in 2008 and come as something besides Pirates. Dressed as Hippies (now that's original!), DJ slipped to Page Two. That's what you get sometimes for taking a fashion risk! (Bruce and Mara know better - they are Pirates for Life).
So DJ only made the Runnerup Page... but don't feel sorry for them, that's still an honor! Besides, they were much more authentic Hippies than Charlie and Rowena as the Glam Hippies.

Too bad Hippies are unusually poor people. Just a little Blagojevich money and I am positive DJ would have been promoted back to Page One where they belonged with Bruce and Mara! In fact, I was just itching for an excuse to bounce B & M to the Runner-Up page for their serious fashion faux pas.

I estimate it would only taken Jack and Jackie $5 to bounce Bruce and Mara to Page Two. What a close call! They always talk about how the margin of victory in major contests is very small; the exceptional and extremely important SSQQ Halloween Costume Contest is no exception.
5 - Mike Dwyer was a double winner this year. Not only did he win for "Best Group Picture", he and his wife Brenda won Runner-ups Honors as Joe the Plumber and Mrs. Joe. Unfortunately, like DJ and the other runner-ups, Mike refused to pay any upgrade dinero either to make it to Page One. I am so frustrated. Why won't anyone pay for an upgrade? Now I know for a fact that those over-dressed Chronicle women pay through the nose to make that "Best Dressed List". What does the Chronicle know about this scam that I don't?
6 - Here is yet another couple whose names I don't know their names. I thought their Renaissance outfits were gorgeous. Just in case you haven't noticed, I am a big sucker for Renaissance costumes. Any cursory review of previous years reveals a Renaissance costume winner practically every year.

7 - Jim Colby came as Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter and Marlane Kayfes came as some sort of bird. Marlane made her Bird costume, by the way, which is why I am proud of her although I have no idea what kind of bird she was. Too bad she didn't write her Genus on the back. That would have been a stroke of Genus. I enjoyed watching Marlane dance in that outfit, just kind of paddling around with those slippery yellow slippers on. I love watching sexy women waddle. Oh the way they move!

I am guessing that Jim and Marlane have made our "Best of" issue more times than anyone else. I see they made Runner-up in 2002 as ancient Romans, Top Ten in 2003 as the Spaghetti Cooks, Runner-Ups in 2004 as Naval Officers, Top Ten as Pirates in 2005, Runner-up in 2006 as Cowboy and Indian, and in 2007 as... er... as.... Oops they didn't win in 2007. Why not?
Hmm. As I scanned the years, I couldn't help but be curious why Marlane and Jim were not listed in 2007. So I did a review of 250 pictures from 2007. Well, I made a critical observation - they didn't get their picture taken! In fact, they weren't even at the party that year.

It's kind of tough to win without a picture, although a little Blagojevich money would have solved that problem nicely. Ordinarily the lack of attendance would be a problem, but not at a Halloween Party. People win all the time without having to show their face. Just ask Bob and Ana or Mr. Big Bad Wolf.

All I had to do was stick two Monster pictures up there and call them "Jim and Marlane". No one would have known the difference and I would have been a little richer. (Hint: In fact, it's not too late. And that goes for the rest of you too! Just pick a year and show me the money.)
Well, too bad about 2007, but I am glad to see Jim and Marlane made it back to their rightful spot in 2008. I am flattered they like this party enough to put so much effort into a wonderful series of great costumes.
8 - Betty and Keith Baker were colorful and very cute as well as the Mexican Senora and Senorita! I especially liked Keith's mustache although I thought maybe a little dried Nacho cheese dip on the end would have been a nice feature.
9 - I don't know who Mr. Beetlejuice and his girlfriend were, but Becky Bratton definitely seemed put out that Mrs. Beetlejuice had the nerve to wear the exact same Ghoul costume as she did!

You know, that has to really bug someone. I think Becky looked much more ghastly (that's a compliment, mind you) than that other Hussy Ghoul, so why did the other woman win?

Sorry, Becky, you shoulda won, but where's your Mr. Beetlejuice? Solo acts have such a difficult uphill struggle to victory. Besides, a little money and Becky and Mrs. Beetlejuice would have swapped places in the picture SWIFTLY. People just don't seem to get it, do they?
10 - The Home Shopping Network twins. Their ribbons say "Shopping Fair". I do not know who these two ladies are, but I enjoyed their outfits. They are practically twins! I wonder if they are twins in real life. People might wonder how mundane "shopping outfits" made it onto this page of such great honor. Well, these ladies made a small contribution to the right person. Are you getting the picture? By the way, the 2009 Party is just around the corner. Hang onto that thought.
A TIE FOR THE CUTEST PICTURE AWARD
This year I decided to create a new category: Cutest Picture. I had three winners this year. There is one couple - you just have to see the picture - that has to be the one of the best dance pictures I have ever seen. These two dancers are not only gorgeous, but they are happy and grinning, and it is a GREAT PICTURE thanks to Steve Gabino and his camera genius.

You might also notice that this cute couple is 'color-coordinated'. Such is the power of color-coordination! It adds so much to a picture! Now you see what I mean. It almost too much to take when two people look this damn happy together and they are wearing matching outfits! Plus they are young. I am beginning to hate them.
Now our second couple is no stranger to any of us. Maite Rombado and Leroy Ginzel didn't win any best costume honors, but they did tie for the Runnerup "Cutest Picture Award". They are too cute together.

Now in Leroy's case, he was robbed. Leroy came to this party as Dracula. And let me tell you, Leroy looked great! Leroy's costume was great! He should've won (Hint: it's not too late), but he was disqualified on a small technicality. You see, Leroy is older than dirt! That makes me suspicious.
I went to the Internet and found a picture of Leroy from a Toga Party around the time of Julius Caesar. That's "BC" for you history buffs. That gives you an idea how old Leroy is.

And there is only ONE POSSIBLE EXPLANATION for that Toga Picture - Leroy has been around FOREVER. I think Leroy came dressed as Dracula for a good reason: LEROY IS DRACULA! How else do you explain that kind of immortality?

I just don't think you should win an award for coming dressed as yourself (nor will you get any stupid award for coming dressed as 'Rick Archer/Scary Dance Teacher' either).
But even if Leroy came as himself, I think he still qualifies for the CUTEST PICTURE award. After all, Leroy is CUTE. No one can deny that. Plus don't you agree Maite and Leroy look happy dancing together? Too bad I haven't seen Maite since. The most likely explanation is that Leroy bit her after the song was over. That's why you never see Leroy with the same girl twice!
Now the Winner of the Cutest Picture Award goes to Steve Gabino and Vivian Gufstafson. They won for two specific reasons. One, their picture is beyond a doubt the Best Picture. It should win! But you and I know that excellence alone doesn't guarantee anything in this heavily rigged contest.

So there must be some other reason as well, right?
Right!

Steve agreed to waive his usual photography fee in exchange for this important moment of glory. That's right, Steve forked over some serious Blagojevich dough so he and his beautiful girlfriend Vivian could win the coveted "Cutest Picture Award". In fact, that's why I created this new category in the first place. It was a simple excuse to stick Steve's picture in there. Now mind you, in a perfect world, Steve and Vivian would have won the cute award fair and square, but it never hurts to cover your bet.

Finally we wrap things up with another tie for Best Runner-up Best Group Picture. As it stands, there is a Tie between The Arabs and The Candy Girls.

Joy Al-Jazrawi , Gina Nelson and her husband Brandon, plus their vivacious mother Ann Al-Jazrawi wore authentic Arab dress. They looked wonderful together. However, since Sam, Ann's husband, did not show up, that cost this group terribly. You see, if Dad had been there, they would have had FIVE people which would have beat the CANDY GIRLS who only had FOUR people.
Lin Mills, Glenda Lee, Judy Foster came as the stunning and fetching Candy Girls. This is what is known as an "Intentional Group". They were intentionally stunning together. However since the Group Rule specifies there has to be FOUR people (you are correct - I just made this rule up), they invited special guest Mary Denise Duncan as Cruella de Ville to join their BAD GIRL GROUP. Mary Denise helped this group tie with the Arab Family.
This was the Halloween debut for Joy, Gina and husband Brandon, plus Ann and her husband Sam... oops no Sam. Too bad Sam didn't make it (But a simple bribe can always change everything.)

For weeks, Joy and Gina had promised me their Dad was coming to the party. Imagine my disappointment when they said he had chickened out at the last minute.

But this story has a happy ending. Gina got on the cell to her Dad and told him to drop by. Just as the party ended, Sam came into the studio for a last-minute tie-breaking photograph. Isn't that wonderful!

But Sam's remarkable last-minute appearance spelled Tough luck for the Candy Girls. What a shame. But I think they learned their lesson...

To make the Show, hand me some dough. And if you're Cheap, your picture's Bleep.
.................

BOMB INJURES PHYSICIAN

West Memphis, Arkansas

In case you missed this story in the Feb 5 issue of the Chronicle, the first paragraph said:
"A car bomb explosion critically wounded Dr. Trent Pierce, detonating in his driveway as he was leaving for work."

It was this following quote that really caught my eye:
West Memphis Police Chief Bob Paudert said, "We don't know if this was a random target or someone specifically targeted him."
Not to make light of this tragedy, but how many car bombings in the USA are random? To me, a car bombing seems kind of personal.
..........


THE THREE-YEAR UPDATE ON THE SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE STORY
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2009story.htm

With Valentine's Day rapidly approaching, I am pleased to report that Slow Dance and Romance is indeed alive and well here at SSQQ.

In 2008, we had 15 Weddings that were either be directly attributed to SSQQ or that SSQQ played a significant role in creating. This amazing total was actually just par for the course. Over the past 10 years, I have listed 147 Weddings that SSQQ has been involved in... and that's just counting the ones I know about. There are plenty more, believe me.

2009 has already brought us our first SSQQ Wedding. Former SSQQ Dance Instructor Leo Skiba married his long-time sweetheart Rebecca Turini in early January 2009. Leo met Rebecca in 2005 when she took his Beginning Two Step class here at the studio. Leo promises me plenty of details and a picture!

Furthermore, as I write, there are at least five more SSQQ weddings right around the corner: Patty Pennington and Guy Hoover, Olga Bochareva and Luis Castillo, Gerry Francis and Amy Adams, Keith Patterson and Penny Gunderson, plus Gus Donnell and Fran Zandstra.

We are approaching the three year anniversary of my Matchmaker Story about the history of the studio's legendary ability to create positive relationships.

(RICK ARCHER'S NOTE: This story is continued at
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2009story.htm

..................................

WESTERN LINE DANCING CLASS WITH ANITA WILLIAMS

SUNDAY AFTERNOONS 3:30-4:30 PM. Starts Sunday, February 8.

This class will meet three Sundays in February and will cost $25 To register, just show up.

Line Dancing as most people are well aware is a series of steps danced in unison by a group of people in line formation. Everyone is doing the same step at the same time. It is very popular with all ages and can be fast or slow, set to all types of music and dance styles. (i.e. cha-cha, waltz, east coast swing, polka, jazz)

Line Dancing has several benefits. It doesn't require a dance partner, it promotes cardiovascular health through physical workouts of varying intensity, it increases mobility, it creates the opportunity for creativity and memorizing the patterns exercises your brain.

That's the official description. The unofficial description is that Line Dancing is Fun! It is dancing and exercise rolled into one.

Since the class is open to both Beginners and Intermediate dancers, Anita will teach two to three dances each week, some easy, some difficult. In addition, she will review them so you won't forget them.

What to bring: soled shoes or tennis shoes, layered clothing, a sense of humor.

What to expect: Expect to have a lot of fun.

Rick Archer's Note: Some classes are offered at SSQQ to pay the rent and some classes are offered to nurture the soul. This is a class that deserves to succeed. We have decided to skip starting it Superbowl Sunday, but plan on joining the following Sunday, February 8 at 3:30 pm. Just show up!

BACKGROUND ON THE LINE DANCE CLASS
Anita Williams began teaching at SSQQ in 1996. Besides being an awesome dancer, Anita is also very funny! She is teaching this class at my request. You would be surprised how many people bug me about Line Dancing. When Cher Longoria told me Anita had won a major line dance contest recently, I decided to ask her what she thought.

Anita replied, "Rick, check out this new dance I learned at when I went to World's this year...


In response to your question, I'd love to see something like this take off at the studio, but it's hard to get line dancing going in Texas. If we were up north, no problem but here in Houston it's not so popular.

I guess people think of it as a little old lady's dance, but if people saw some of the new stuff they would be amazed. It's so much fun. BTW did you know that 90% of the line dances are NOT country music?"
..........

ANITA'S RESUME

SSQQ Veterans will remember that Anita competed with the SSQQ World Champion dance team known as Heartbeat around 2001
( http://www.ssqq.com/stories/advent35.htm

Besides Heartbeat, Anita has also competed individually. She advanced to the professional level in 2003 and won the UCWDC World's West Coast Swing Female Diamond Advanced title. Anita has coached amateur students to numerous championships including 4 World titles and one National title.

Anita currently competes in line dance at the advanced and Showcase level. She recently placed 2nd overall at UCWDC World's in Advanced Classic line dance and 3rd in Showcase Line Dance competition. When Anita is not competing, she teaches line dance at various dance events all over the country.
..................


UPDATE ON CONQUEST 2009, OUR SUMMER DANCE CRUISE
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/conquest2009.htm

In last week's issue, I welcomed these seven people to our upcoming August cruise:
Jack Myers
Jo Wilson
Keith Baker
Betty Baker
Gene Garner
Charlie Denton
Rowena Roche

Now, one week later, welcome aboard to nine more new passengers!
Lori Hill
Virginia Howe
Martin Pelaez
Nadia Pelaez
Caitlin Prescott
Cindy Flores
Michael Flores
Penney Warren
Tim Bailey

In case you are counting, that makes 16 people in just two weeks.

----- Original Message -----
From: e
To: marla@ssqq.com
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 9:23 AM
Subject: Carribean Cruise in August - Questions

Marla,

Hi, I have been reading about the SSQQ trips for years now in the newsletter. I'm finally in a position in my life to consider going. I do have some questions, though.

If you don't have a roommate do you collect names of those who are looking for people to share with and match them up (sort of potluck like at camp)? If there is an odd number I guess that person will need to pay a single room rate? Does that even exist or is it double the price? I've never been on a cruise so I don't know how that all works.

In the past what has been the mix of people? Are they mainly couples? Are there lots of single women and men or has it been mainly couples and a few singles? Of course I'm concerned that it will be heavy with single women on the dancing nights.


From: Marla
Sent: Friday, January 30, 2009 3:26 PM
To: e
Subject: Re: Carribean Cruise in August - Questions

Hello Elizabeth,

1. I match up roommates based on the cabin type selected and then the passenger's age.
Yes, it is like potluck. Most times it works; once in a while you roll your eyes. One hint: If the registration form is turned in prior to the deadline, we will do our best to find a roommate scientifically.
last minute signups can't be choosy. Single occupancy is always an option.

2. The Caribbean cruise mix is usually 60% singles/40% couples. The ratio of men to women is usually 40%men/ 60% women. Whether you dance or not is pretty much up to you. If you wait for someone to ask you, you will sit for awhile. Feel free to ask people to dance.. .
The best thing to do is to take some group dance classes prior to the cruise and get to know everybody.

All I can tell you is that I was new to the studio in 2001 and signed up for the cruise. The boy/girl ratio and the married to single ratio was not any different then. I met my future husband on the cruise. I am not saying that this will happen to you, but life is what you wish to make of it.

I hope you will join us,
.......................

UPDATE ON OUR BARCELONA 2009 TRIP
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/barcelona2009.htm

From: Marla Archer
Sent: Friday, January 23, 2009 4:47 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Barcelona

Hello Everybody,
We are currently up to 37 passengers who are headed to the world's most favorite Western Mediterranean cruise destinations.
If you have been sitting on the fence, it is now time to sign up for the cruise! Don't miss out on sharing so many adventures with all your friends in the world's most favorite vacation destination.

A $250 deposit will hold your spot on the trip all the way until final payment on July 15th, 2009. That is right, you have six months to save for this fabulous cruise!

Royal Caribbean has given me a few more days to hold on to my reserved group space. We have until Wednesday, January 28th to add anyone to the group. On Thursday, January 29th I can still add people to our group, however it will be at the prevailing rate.

Group Pricing is as follows:
Inside Category N -- $896 per person cruise only
Oceanview Category I -- $1136 per person cruise only
Balcony Category E1 -- $1446 per person cruise only
All prices are double occupancy.
You will be pleased to know that this trip has become less expensive. For one thing, the fuel surcharge is gone. In addition, the room prices have dropped $170 for the Inside Cabins, $220 for Oceanview, and $60 less for Balconies. Also encouraging is the Euro to Dollar ratio has improved dramatically in our favor since last year's trip. Air fare has dropped considerably as well. This trip will never be inexpensive, but at least it is becoming more of a bargain.
I hope you will decide to join us for another trip of a lifetime! Don't miss out on this wonderful experience!!!
You may email or fax me the information or simply hand the form to Rick or me at the studio.
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/barcelona2009registration.htm
....................


EXPLORING POTENTIAL FUTURE CRUISE DESTINATIONS

(Rick Archer's Note: This was an article sent to me by Alan Fox, owner of Vacations to Go, a Houston-based Travel Agency that has grown to be one of the most successful travel agencies in the country. Alan is a former basketball buddy of mine and good friend.

Here is Alan's first-hand story of his trip to Antarctica.)

From: VacationsToGo.com
Sent: Monday, February 02, 2009 10:21 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Vacations To Go Cruise Newsletter antarctica

Dear Mr. Archer,

Alan Fox is cruising Antarctica on the Minerva, chartered by Regent Seven Seas, and his first report follows.
________________________________________

Crrrreeeeeeeeeeeekkk.

The walls and decks grind and groan.

ShuuuweeeuuuWEEEE!!!

The frigid wind howls at our window.

Whump, whump!

The bow of the Minerva rises on the crest of a massive wave before crashing back into the froth and spray, sending shudders from bow to stern.

I am writing today from the heart of the notorious Drake Passage, en route from Port Stanley (Falkland Islands) to Antarctica. After a lifetime of dreaming, a year of anticipation and thousands of miles covered since leaving Houston six days ago, I am 36 hours from setting eyes on the white continent.

Today is our first full day in the passage (a crossing takes two days and two nights), and we are bouncing about in what is referred to as a "whole gale," a 10 on the 1-12 Beaufort Scale, where 12 is a hurricane.

The Drake is known for the world's roughest water, and it is said that crossing her is the tax one must pay to see Antarctica. The Drake Tax is paid in two installments, one down and one back, and some passengers pay more than others.

When we reach the Antarctic Peninsula we will be protected from high seas by the mountainous coastline, but in this 500-mile stretch of open water, motion sickness is a real possibility.

About half of the 198 passengers onboard have failed to make a public appearance since we departed Port Stanley last night. At least their cabins are comfortable and cozy, and those who can raise their heads are able to watch ship lectures, movies and DVDs on TV.

The ship's crew takes numerous precautions before entering such a storm. Metal covers have been installed over portholes on the lowest passenger deck to prevent water from entering as waves slap the sides of the ship. "Sickness bags" have been placed every few feet along hand rails throughout the vessel.

In the sparsely attended dining room, chairs and tables are permanently chained or bolted to the floor, along with most of the rest of the ship's furniture. Tablecloths have been dampened to prevent plates and glasses from sliding, but unattended silverware will dance off your plate in seconds.

Items in our cabin seem to have sprung to life. Drawers swing open and then close on their own, as does one of the closet doors, and hanging clothes slide back and forth on the bar. The curtain over our window hugs the wall as the ship leans to port but as she tilts to starboard, the bottom of the curtain swings away from the wall and the twilight fills the room.

It's impossible to capture the size of these waves in a photograph so I went to an exposed wing of the bridge and took a series of shots of the bow of the ship to give you a sense of the motion we are experiencing. They are in the accompanying slide show and yes, I was soaked head to foot in the process!

Those of us who were out and about today have learned to work with the pitch and roll of the ship rather than fight it. With feet splayed outward like a penguin for extra stability, we rush forward when our path slopes downhill and pause momentarily when it tilts uphill, and weave from wall to wall as we move along hallways.

Secretly, I am enjoying this new way of walking and also found the shower experience entertaining, slipping and sliding from one side--thump--to another--thump--of the small enclosure. No doubt sensible people skipped their showers altogether.

Our trip began with an overnight flight from Houston to Buenos Aires, where Regent Seven Seas had arranged a pre-cruise stay at the upscale and ideally located Melia Hotel. Buenos Aires is a friendly, walkable city, with nice restaurants, spacious parks and pedestrian-only shopping streets.

The highlight of our afternoon stroll was the sprawling and immaculately maintained Recoleta Cemetery, final resting place for Eva Perón and Argentina's famous and well-to-do of the past 150 years.

Mausoleums looming 10 to 20 feet high are packed tightly in a maze of paved sidewalks and alleys that are oddly reminiscent of a 19th-century European town, about 2/3 scale. When the gates close for the evening, a colony of feral cats remain behind, Recoleta's only living inhabitants.

For dinner, we enjoyed Argentine steaks and local wines but with a 3am wakeup call, we were not able to take in the city's most popular tourist entertainment, a tango performance.

The next day, our chartered flight rumbled down the runway well before dawn and four hours later, we found the southern tip of South America shrouded in clouds. We descended through the soft white light and emerged to find the snowcapped mountains of the Andes on the right side of the plane, towering above our heads.

Moments later, we touched down in Ushuaia, Argentina, the southernmost city in the world. It was cool and gray and drizzling rain as we boarded buses for a tour of the area.

Ushuaia has a population of 65,000 and is built around a harbor in the Beagle Channel and ringed by soaring mountains. We and our fellow passengers enjoyed a Gaucho dance performance and stopped by the origin (or termination point) of the Pan American Highway, which runs more than 16,000 miles north to Prudhoe Bay, Alaska.

Ushuaia refers to itself as The End of the World and with its isolation and 160 days of rain or snow each year, it does feel a bit like that. But as the jumping-off point for most Antarctic cruises, it is perhaps more accurate to say that Ushuaia is the end of one world and the beginning of another.

That evening we sailed for Port Stanley, our only planned port call outside Antarctica. We spent a day at sea photographing the albatrosses and petrels following the ship and attending interesting lectures from the ornithologist, marine biologist and other experts and specialists onboard.

Shortly before arriving in the Falklands yesterday, the leading edge of the storm we're now in caught up with us, preventing the ship from docking in Stanley and making the harbor too rough for tender operation. We were in sight of the town of Stanley but unable to reach her, so we spent the day tethered to a tanker, refueling, a very delicate operation in such high winds.

It was early confirmation of what our expedition leader, Suzana, had told us, that in this part of the world, we will always have a Plan A, a Plan A and another Plan A.

Last night, after dinner in the protected waters of the Falkland Islands, we battened down the hatches (literally) and sailed into the gathering storm.

Crrrreeeeeeeeeeeeekkk.

ShuuuweeeuuuWEEEE!!!

Whump, whump!

The adventure has begun.


Written by Alan Fox...somewhere in Drake Passage
....................

SECRET SSQQ ANTI-TERRORISM WEAPONS

(Rick Archer's Note: It takes a lot to surprise me these days, but I admit I was taken aback by a request from the Department of Defense to put in a bid for weapons systems. I promise you I did not make this up. In the meantime, if any of you have developed any anti-terrorism weapons, be sure to let me know and I will put in a bid.)

-----Original Message-----
From: Department of Defense
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2009 11:31 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: SSQQ Dance Studio - Department of Defense Business

Listing ID: A2225731371

Complete and update information to list SSQQ Dance Studio as a supplier available for Department of Defense bid and sales opportunities in the 2009 Department of Defense Buyers Guide.

The information on your company and products will be accessed by Department of Defense and military purchasing agents and buying facilities.

Please complete and submit before 02/06/09 or you will not be listed. Please click below to complete and update your information (you may have to copy and paste into your browser):

http://www.federalbuyersguide.com/

The Department of Defense Buyers Guide is published by Federal Buyers Guide Inc., a private sector organization that has provided vendor information to the government for over 30 years. If you have any questions regarding pricing or information
..........................



FANTASY ISLAND REVISITED
http://ssqq.com/archive/fantasyisland.htm

(Rick Archer's Note: As most of you know, I rarely make any sort of mistake. So it came as a crushing disappointment to discover I had made only my second mistake in the past 30 years. I am so embarrassed! What will this do to the confidence of my Newsletter readers to know I make mistakes?)

From: blakeSent: Sunday, February 01, 2009 10:29 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Fantasy Island

G'Day Rick, my names Blake and I'm from Australia.

I have been surfing some of your interesting write ups even the stuff up with the sultans palace. lol.

Anyway I like what you do but I thought I would inform you that some of your fantasy Island photos are of a place called the Maldives.

They are a bunch of Islands so small they don't appear on the world map, (guessing invisible from space). They are located below India and Sri Lanka slightly to the South West.
Many of the hotels and accommodation is built in the water mainly because there isn't enough room on the island.
Sadly this area of the ocean is also the Tsunami area

My partner and I are travelling there later this year and its not as expensive as you would have thought, although I haven't any figures for you we live on a modest budget and find it affordable.

Perhaps it is cheaper in flights due to location of Perth, Australia? Dunno

The photos you identified as "Tahiti" are exactly the same as the ones as "The Maldives". I think whoever is sending you these "photo packages" is mixing them up a bit. Laddahs!

http://ssqq.com/archive/fantasyisland.htm

...........



LAST WEEK'S COMPLAINT OF THE WEEK:
THE DAUGHTER OF DYNAMIC GRAPHICS FOUNDER DEFENDS HER FATHER'S MEMORY AGAINST RICK ARCHER'S GARBAGE ARTICLE

Rick Archer's Note: Many of you have complimented me over the years over the unusual artwork displayed on the SSQQ Dance Studio walls. This artwork was created by an anonymous man who worked for Dynamic Graphics, a commercial graphic arts service.

I wrote an article about Dynamic Graphics where I detailed three issues that angered me about their service.

http://www.ssqq.com/stories/advent44.htm

In January 2009, a woman named Kim Bryan wrote to complain about my article. Among other things, Ms. Bryan claimed I had been disrespectful to her deceased father. This was a very odd accusation considering I had never even heard of the man.

In last week's Newsletter, I listed Ms. Bryan's complaint.

To my surprise, my own daughter Sam read the letters and rushed to my defense. Sam wrote a very nice letter which I will now share.

From: Samantha
Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2009 11:34 AM
To: kim bryan
Cc: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Emails concerning Dynamic Graphics article on ssqq.com

Miss Bryan:
In one of your previous emails addressed to my father, you asked "Do you have someone who will be left to appreciate what you have done?"

In response to this question, I would like to inform you that, yes, there is someone who appreciates what her father has done. For his entire life my father has worked harder than almost anyone I know. I have to tell you, I don't exactly appreciate the attacks you've repeatedly assailed my Dad with.

In no way whatsoever has my father personally attacked your father. The article he wrote in regards to Dynamic Graphics has to do with members of the company who made decisions in recent years. As someone who has spent numerous hours of her childhood loading pictures from Liquid Library on to her father's computer, and as someone who served as the hand model when the article in question was originally written, I have to agree with my Dad that these pictures have had no use to him. Now, I can understand that there are other companies in the world who may have use for these pictures, but my Dad has the right to complain. The article he wrote, which mainly was about Liquid Library and his frustration over never discovering the true identity of "Chris," is something he was completely within his rights to do.

I appreciate the story of your father's battle to attain rights to his company. For thirty years, my Dad has fought tooth and nail with several different parties to keep his business going. That business, may I add, has provided me with opportunities neither of my parents could ever have dreamed of. I'm sure that you feel similarly about Dynamic Graphics.

There are a few accounts on the internet about how my father's business has wronged certain customers or how they didn't receive a positive experience at the studio. In all the instances where I have actually taken the time to read these accounts the thought of belaboring the authors with a personal history of the studio has never crossed my mind. When it comes to running a business, things happen that are out of our (as two people who have personal ties to said businesses) control. I see no reason to personally attack these people simply because they didn't have a pleasant experience at the studio, which happens to be the place where I took my first step and where my parents met. Were it not for the studio, I wouldn't exist. But I do not fault someone for having a negative experience and writing about it on the internet. It's their constitutional right to have the ability to do so.

You stated that if my father had a understanding of the business, he "would be more appreciative." You stated that he "desecrated [your father's] life and what he did." You stated that you have "no use" for my Dad and that your father "created out of nothing you could not do." If you were actually cognizant of the studio and its makings, you would know that artwork pulled from Dynamic Graphics' catalogs adorn the studio's walls. You would know that regardless of these photographs that my father begrudgingly pays for, he still purchases Liquid Library for the artwork. You mentioned something about the "stupid small experience" that my Dad has had with Dynamic Graphics, the company he has been pumping thousands of dollars into for decades. I would like to point out the "stupid small experience" that you have had with my father's own business and my father personally. My father is a man I respect and a man who has been a terrific father and has built a business literally from the ground up.

Quite frankly, you have been rude and you have certainly stepped out of place. I, for one, will be someone who will appreciate, and does appreciate, what my father has done. I am sorry that you have taken offense to his complaint. But he has nothing to apologize for.

Samantha Archer

Daughter of the founder of SSQQ Dance Studio
http://www.ssqq.com/stories/advent44.htm

(Rick Archer's Note: I am proud to announce that Sam will be a Freshman in college next year at Loyola New Orleans. At an early age, I noticed Sam's flair for the dramatic. I encouraged her to pursue her acting ability and see where it would take her. Sam has had quite a bit of success in Drama as a result. This spring she will have starring roles in her school's productions of "Meet Me in St Louis" as well as "The Importance of Being Ernest".

Sam recently auditioned for the Drama Program at Loyola and received a remarkable scholarship for her efforts. Although personally I am very shy, I am very proud that my daughter is completely comfortable under the bright lights!)
............

THIS WEEK'S COMPLAINT OF THE WEEK: TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY

Rick Archer's Note: I used to have a newsletter section known as 'complaint of the month'. Now that the world has turned dangerously towards a perpetual bad mood, I have decided to change this category to "Complaint of the Week".

Last week we had a woman who said I had defamed her father (see above).

This week I was threatened with even more legal action. It's a jungle out there, folks.


From: S A
Sent: Wednesday, February 04, 2009 7:23 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Pre-Suit Notice Pursuant to the Texas DTPA

Dear Rick,

I am writing regarding my wife's and my purchase of salsa classes on February 3, 2009. Confirmation code AUTH/TKT and AUTH/TKT

As stated in our phone conversation yesterday afternoon and evening, February 3, 2009, I did not know until after making my online purchase that my wife and I would have to switch partners during class. We did not know that before purchasing the classes and had we known we would not have signed up. One of our central goals in signing up for a dance class was to be able to dance together. While the information is on the website, it is NOT prominently displayed nor even easy to find unless you know to look for it. I only noticed it AFTER we received our confirmation receipt on which this policy is printed. Receiving this information after the confirmation is obviously too late to be of use in deciding whether to purchase your service. While I understand the policy, it is obviously a common problem for many couples, as evidenced by the complaints displayed on your website by your customers (which were also not easy to find). Yet even knowing this, SSQQ has made no effort to clearly disclose this policy on your website.

Upon discovering this policy, I immediately called the studio and asked for a refund, but was told that it could not be done over the phone because it requires the "swiping" of my card (which is questionable) and that I had to go to SSQQ physically to obtain the refund. This is an onerous and unnecessary policy; if you accept money over the internet you should be able to reverse the charges. Regardless of whether this is a fair business practice, I was willing to do it to get my $90 refund.

However, on top of the requirement of having to physically go to the studio to obtain a refund, SSQQ also only provides a one-hour grace period after classes begin, after which time no refunds are given. Worried I might not be able to leave work in time to make the cutoff, I called the studio at approximately 6:56 pm on February 3, and asked if I could receive a grace period beyond the 1 hour or be permitted to go to the Studio on February 4. I was flatly, and rudely, denied that simple courtesy, with your response: "Good luck!"

It appears that your policy not to provide refunds after the 1st hour of the class is designed to avoid being asked for refunds after a certain amount of services have been rendered. While this policy appears to have a legitimate business purpose under certain circumstances, it has no application to me or this situation. I asked for a refund immediately after the purchase was made upon learning about a very important term in our contract, a term not clearly displayed before the purchase, and one that had I known about, I would not have made the purchase in the first place. Even assuming for argument's sake your policy is fair, the SSQQ confirmation acknowledges you will make exceptions in advance. You made no effort to make an exception in this very exceptional case where I was quick to notice my mistake and request a refund well in advance.

Put purely and simply, you have accepted my money without providing any services in return and implementing policies that are onerous, unconscionable, and deceptive. There is no legitimate business reason not to return my $90 under these circumstances. This letter is an attempt to resolve this dispute amicably, and to comply with the pre-suit notice requirements of the Texas Deceptive Trade Practices Act. I am still willing to come to your studio to obtain the $90 refund if you tell me that my effort will be met with success. This is all that I am asking for at this time. If you continue to refuse, I will be forced to consider formal legal proceedings, at which time I will seek the $90, court costs, attorneys fees, and potentially treble damages under the DTPA.


From: Rick Archer
Sent: Thursday, February 05, 2009 11:19 AM
To: SA
Subject: RE: Pre-Suit Notice Pursuant to the Texas DTPA

When we first spoke on Tuesday, Feb 3, you explained to me that you had registered yourself and your wife for a dance class using online registration. You then said that after reading the online receipt, you realized that we insist that students switch partners in group classes. You then said your wife refused to switch partners. Therefore you expected a refund.

I then explained the rules for obtaining a refund. I said studio policy required you to come to the studio during Registration the day of your first class (or prior to) so we could swipe your credit card and cancel your transaction. I recall that you were unhappy at being expected to drive across town to correct your own mistake. You then proceeded to berate me for five minutes for my failure to provide an online refund mechanism. You said this was terribly inconvenient. You made it clear that you were upset that my studio did not allow you to change your mind using the Internet.

FYI, the studio on-line service was initiated seven years ago as a convenience to our students. For seven years, this service has allowed people to simply walk through the doors and begin classes. It was never intended to be a sophisticated e-tail operation such as you might find at Amazon.

Furthermore, although you have continuously berated me for my 'failure' to provide a simple way for you to cancel your registration 'on-line', I do not believe I am obligated to do so.

Now it is true that I personally can choose to invest my own time and reverse your charges using the Internet. What you and many other people do not understand is this is not an easy task. There is no 'find' function. I can't simply enter your credit card number and tell it to search and refund. In order to locate your transaction on the Internet, I am forced to sift through hundreds of transactions one by one until I find your particular order. This process is typically ten to fifteen minutes long.

Personally speaking, I refuse to be obligated to invest my time to correct YOUR MISTAKE. You signed up for the class. No one made you do it. If it comes down to you driving fifteen minutes or me sitting there doing hunt and peck on the Internet for fifteen minutes, why do you expect me to correct your mistake for you?

Now I agree that at the time of your first phone call, you were entitled to a Refund. So I carefully explained that we have people paid to handle your Refund. All you had to do was drive to the studio that evening, hand them your credit card, and your problem would be solved. You were unhappy about that option and spent a great deal of time expressing yourself on that topic. I believe I listened to you chew me out for seven minutes before you finally decided to hang up.

Regarding the second phone call that Tuesday, I agree with you that around 7 pm that evening, the business phone rang at my home. You probably are unaware of this, but the studio phone hours run from 10 am to 3 pm weekdays. My daughter and I had just sat down to eat dinner together. Even though this was my day off and even though the phone was ringing 4 hours after my phone shift ended, I decided to leave my meal and pick up the business phone. At the time I assumed it was someone who needed directions to the studio. I was trying to do someone a good deed. My mistake. As you know, no good deed goes unpunished.

During our second phone conversation at 7 pm, you asked for an extension in the time limit necessary to obtain the refund at the studio because you were stuck at work. You wanted the Registrar to remain at the studio an extra half hour after the 8 pm deadline. I explained that was unreasonable. I said you had known the entire day what the rules were. Take some responsibility. I saw no reason to call the Registrar at the studio to ask her to remain another 30 minutes plus add additional payroll expenses for your personal convenience.

You lost your temper and began to berate me again. You complained about my deceptive advertising, my unfair business practices, and then you proceeded to say you felt you were justified in coming a day late to the studio to obtain your refund. I replied, 'Good luck'. I deeply apologize if that response sounded rude to you.

At that point, you said you were a lawyer and threatened to sue me in small claims court. My daughter overheard this entire conversation on speaker phone. Now that I was being faced with court action, that was the point when I got fed up. I was tired of listening to you bully me and I wanted to eat my dinner. So I responded 'be my guest' and I hung up on you.

And now you have written me this threatening email because you think your status as a lawyer gives you some special privilege to bend the rules to your own convenience.

I don't want your money. I never did. All I ever really wanted from you was to for you to stop harassing me for your own mistake, but I guess I am out of luck on that score.

THE LAST WORD

Just so all of you understand, ninety-eight percent of all SSQQ policies are directed towards one thing -
minimizing the complaints. I truly enjoy teaching dance classes, for the most part I enjoy writing newsletters, and I enjoy throwing a good party once a while.

What I don't enjoy is having people chew me out for their own problems. No one asked this guy to sign up. So suddenly his wife doesn't want to switch partners. Is this something I am supposed to care about? The way I see it, this is none of my business.

But this guy decides to make it my business. First he spends 10 minutes chewing me because my web site is too big, too confusing, too mediocre and my online system is unfair, deceptive, and out of date and my policies are unreasonable, not properly advertised, and discriminatory against a man who simply wants to dance with his own wife.
Then he calls me up at 7 pm the same night to demand the Registrar stay 30 minutes late for his own convenience. When I say 'no', I proceed to get 10 more minutes of the same stuff I listened to that morning. Plus he threatens a law suit for good measure.

Next I receive the email above. I have the joy of spending 30 minutes writing a reply not to mention the anger I felt at receiving another threat of a law suit. Here's a guy who is too important to follow the rules, so he gets his way by using his law degree as leverage.

Personally, who wants to go to court to fight back? Even if I win, what do I win? I have wasted an entire day of my life, money defending myself, plus all the suffering of worrying about the outcome. That, my friends, is what is known as a 'Phyrric Victory'.

Now what if this guy was forced to pay my lawyer plus pay me for my time if I won? That would change things a bit, wouldn't it?

I have disliked lawyers in general for a long time. This guy is the perfect example of the kind of bully our society gives free rein to. Anyone can sue anyone and make their life miserable (eg, the Victoria Osteen shakedown and the 67 million dry cleaning lawsuit).

But if there was a realistic penalty for the loser of these kinds of frivolous lawsuits, I think we would all breathe easier.
...............

AND THAT'S A WRAP FOR FEBRUARY 2009 ISSUE TWO.
THIS ISSUE WAS 31 PAGES LONG. SO MUCH FOR MY VOW OF BREVITY FROM A COUPLE WEEKS AGO.
TRILLIONS OF ELECTRONS HAVE BEEN DESTROYED IN THE CREATION OF THIS ISSUE. TOUGH.
THANKS FOR READING!
 

The February 2009 SSQQ Newsletter Issue Three
Written by Rick Archer


PARKING WARNING: On Wednesday, February 11, a woman who said she worked at the ATT building across the street from the hospital warned SSQQ students not to park in their garage. She said they would begin to tow vehicles soon.

This garage has long been marked with tow away signs, but they have never been enforced before.
Please be careful.
...............

THE RED AND WHITE VALENTINES SWING PARTY THIS WEEKEND!
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party03.htm

Saturday, February 14, 9 - 11:30 pm
Crash Courses 7-9 PM
(to register for a class, just show up around 6:45 pm)

CINDERELLA'S WALTZ (WESTERN WALTZ ADVANCED PATTERNS) - Rick
SLOW DANCING - Marla (couples only)
RUMBA - The Latin Dance of Romance - Jill
PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ: BEGINNING SWING - Becky
VALENTINE'S DAY SWING PATTERNS (ADVANCED PATTERNS) - Maureen
SINATRA FOXTROT - Jack

About the Party: There will be mostly Swing music (both East and West Coast) played at this party. In addition, as a nod to the Romantic nature of the evening, expect many Waltzes and some Sinatra Foxtrots as well. And I will take song requests as well.

In addition, if I hear ONE MORE 'SINGLE' PERSON tell me they aren't coming because it will only be couples, I will beat them with a pillow. That is a promise.

This is a dance party. At SSQQ, everyone dances with everyone. For example, I am happily married, but I promise you that Marla and I do not want to dance exclusively with each other all night long. Married people like to dance with single people too! We are all friends, remember?

You single people need to quit acting like refugees from a leper colony. Singles will not be 'singled out', I assure you. In addition, we will do some John-Paul-Jones dances and partner switching dances so that everyone participates.
..............

THE SSQQ SALSA EXPLOSION DANCE PARTY NEXT WEEKEND!
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party04salsa.htm

Saturday, February 21, 9 - Midnight
CRASH COURSES 7-9 PM
(To register, just show at 6:45 and pay at the door)

DIRTY SALSA - Dakota
BEG BACHATA - Linda
BEG SALSA - Angela and Morris
SALSA DIPS AND LUNGES - Noe
BEGINNING CUMBIA - Steve
INTERMEDIATE SALSA PTNS - Ulyses and Shelli
There will be a Salsa dance demonstration during the party plus Sonja and Noe will demonstrate Argentine Tango again.
.................................

WHAT DO THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE HAVE IN COMMON?
Cristina Lozano and Conor O'Muirgheasa, Ron Fiske and Lin Mills, Denise and Jim Duncan, Gerry Francis and Amy Adams, Tim Francis and Anita Leung, Linda and Don Francis, Robin Curbello and Ed Miller, David Diggs, Cheryl Rudolph and Robin Curbello, Lin Mills and Judy Foster, Ron Fiske, Andy Regnier, Corky Ament, Peggy McElroy, Cindy and Mike Flores, CA Riser and Cathy Bryant, Cheryl Rudolph and James Culotta, Lee Ann Parkinson, Chris Shields, Deborah Jenkins, Sharon Allen, Mary and George Cooper, Iqbal Nagji and Lin Mills, Phyllis Sullivan and Rick Archer, Cindy Flores and Danny Herdejurgen, Holly Vitemb and Lori Hill, Corky Ament, Lee Ann Parkinson and Ron Fiske, Bernardine and Loy Farmer, Annie Fletcher and Richard Byrd, Ann Wells, Joe Lachner (Mr. Smile) and Patty Harrison, Patty Lynch, Shawn Eldridge, Bobby Kirkpatrick, Carol Batson and Eduardo Garcia, Judy Foster, Chris Shields, Karen Groom, Tiffany, Jean, and Kurt Wind, Gareld and Virginia McEathron, Lori Hill and Joel Konkel, Jeff Plaster and Deborah Taylor, Cyndi Bozeman and Jimmy Gunter, Allison Crunk and Barbara Fisher, Bette Polishak and Tom Huddleston, Montana Lee and Rona Kenter, Holly Jolly and Joel Konkel, Annie Fletcher and Richard Byrd, Rowena Roche and Charley Denton, Karen Wisniewski and Dakota Wilhelm, George Sargent and Mary Webb, Barbara Fisher and Andy Regnier, Ann McKenzie and John Hall, Sandy Hartman, Phyllis Center of Attention, and Louis Cottrell, Vivian Gufstafson and Steve Gabino, Andy Regnier and Phil Liggett, Kim Gilmore and Kit Carney, Marilyn Chambers and David Brewer, Dina Burton and Gary Catalan, Sanae Kelly and Martha Bouldin, Karen Groom and Larry Bench, Jack Myers and Jo Wilson, Loy and Bernardine Farmer, Scott Ladell and Bryan Vavra, Jose Larios, Leslie Goldsmith and Sol Eisenbaum, Nancy McCormick and Ken Landgrum, Dwight Harrison and Myra Ephros, Rick Elizondo and Denise Duncan, Albertin Gharcheghah and Maite Rombado, Marie Cohen and Joy Isiminger, Ed Newman, Marsha Baxmann and Phyllis Sullivan, Leroy the Vampire Ginzel, plus the Three Known Troublemakers: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Speak No Evil.

ANSWER: I just published their picture from the Conquest 2008 Cocktail Party. Better go see your picture! http://www.ssqq.com/travel/conquest2008pics02.htm

UPDATE ON CONQUEST 2009, OUR SUMMER DANCE CRUISE
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/conquest2009.htm

We are up to 30 people for this year's Conquest Cruise in August.
...............

STEVE GABINO, MASTER PHOTOGRAPHER
http://www.ssqq.com/halloween/stevegabino.htm

Recently I discovered that Steve is available as a freelance photographer. Steve has been honing his photography skills on a near-daily basis ever since digital cameras came along. I think it is great that Steve is able to parlay a hobby into a side business. I did the same thing with 'dancing' about 34 years ago and it worked out pretty well for me.

If you would like to learn more about Steve and his photography skills, please visit:
http://www.ssqq.com/halloween/stevegabino.htm
..............

BOB AND ANA, OUR FAVORITE PALINDROMIC DANCE COUPLE, ARE CITED FOR EXCESSIVE CUTENESS!

In last week's Newsletter, I wrote this story about Bob Graham and Ana Torres.


"For two straight years, there has been a very scary couple that has REFUSED to take their masks off. This presents a real problem for me. You see, many people who come to the SSQQ party worry about people who don't take off their masks.

To them, this goes straight to their deepest fears that REAL MONSTERS DO ATTEND THIS PARTY. I refuse to confirm or deny this allegation other than to say it is a distinct possibility. Let me add this is a subject I prefer not to write too much about for fear that it might affect attendance. There have been mysterious disappearances over the years. People come to the Party and then we never see them again. I just tell them they met someone cute and have better things to do than dance, but deep down I admit I wonder myself.

That said, I openly admit this particular 2008 Monster couple (Chucky and the Spike-haired Alien Babe) are flesh and blood human beings. But other people didn't know this. Chucky and Spike certainly did frighten a lot of people at this year's party. I got a lot of complaints!

Nor is this the first time guests have complained to me about this same couple! It happened last year too. I let Chuck and Spike get away with it last year, but I am telling you, they will hurt future attendance if I don't say something right now. That explains why I have decided to take matters into my own hands and unmask My Favorite Monsters. Their names are Bob and Ana!

For two straight years, Bob Graham and Ana Torres have remained hidden from the world inside their marvelous Monster costumes. That's right - Bob and Ana are the Monsters! You people are scared to death of two of the nicest people at the studio!

Personally speaking, although Bob and Ana are so scary they cause me headaches, I have to begrudgingly admit I admire their endurance. Some of you know exactly what I am talking about when I say it gets REALLY HOT inside those costumes, especially after you dance a little. Most people at least take off their masks for a breath of fresh air. Not Bob and Ana! They keep those hideous rubber masks on the entire night. Those masks are hot, they are uncomfortable, they limit your vision, they itch, and worst of all they make you feel very claustrophobic. These two have to be miserable inside those outfits!

And they suffer for what reason? So people can complain about how ugly and scary they are? Whoa, now that's a big reward! Such a payoff!

Personally, I am glad they suffer. After you read about their rotten behavior, you will all agree they deserve an entire night of Punishment.

Actually Chuck and Spike perform a huge public service at the party. How would my party ever be successful without some big, ugly monsters? I mean, think about it. A lot of people come to this studio looking stunning, sexy, colorful, and beautiful. They breathe fresh air all night long. And with ugly monsters standing around, the Beautiful People look even more beautiful! All the Beautiful People owe a great debt to Ugly People for providing such an obvious contrast!

So I think Bob and Ana deserve a Prize for their Service to the Beautiful People. Bob and Ana get my 2008 Ugly Costume Hero award for this year and for last year as well. Without their suffering, how could we appreciate true beauty?

Actually, it is kind of ironic that Ana Torres of all people gets "The Big Ugly" Award. What the world doesn't realize is that inside her Monster Costume lurks the face of a real beauty! When it comes to 'inner beauty', someone surely had Ana in mind. That's right, Ana Torres is not only one of the sweetest ladies I know, she is knockout pretty!

In my book, a woman this beautiful who spends an entire evening looking gruesome and repulsive two years in a row marks her as one heck of a neat girl! So when you see me hugging her as I am wont to do every time I see her, now you know why I think Ana is so special!

And while I am giving out compliments, Bob is definitely one of the nicest guys I know as well. He and Ana fit like a glove with their smiles and warmth.

You might be surprised to learn that despite the fact that I really both people, Bob and Ana are in BIG TROUBLE with me.

One week ago on Wednesday, January 28, these two characters showed up for my Ghost Town class wearing Matching Green outfits. Now, here's the deal. It is obvious the two have a lot of affection for each other. I don't have a problem with that. But when they wear Matching Color-Coordinated Outfits, they cross a line. People who are lonely see how happy they are and how obnoxiously cute they look together and they get envious. That's right - Bob and Ana are guilty of flaunting their happiness in front of an entire class (secretly, I think they are getting back at all of us for not appreciating them enough when they are ugly.)

So last week I gave them a warning - no more cute color-coordinated outfits! Knock it off.

Imagine my consternation when they wore the exact same obnoxious matching green outfits to the studio on Monday, February 2. The nerve! So I chewed them out again! They deserved to be chewed out!

Excessive cuteness is a serious fashion crime at SSQQ.
I figured two warnings should do it. You would thing a word to the wise should be sufficient. Wrong! On Wednesday, February 3, Bob and Ana were in my Ghost Town class. It was a big night. There were over 200 people at the studio that night! 50 of them were in my class. Fifty people is a lot of people to keep track of. So I was a little preoccupied.

But then it happened. Twenty minutes into class Bob and Ana made a big mistake - they stood next to each other. When I saw them wearing color-coordinated Burgundy outfits, I nearly went ballistic. The nerve!!! It didn't matter that they both turned Barney-purple with embarrassment. That ain't gonna get them off the hook. They were TOO CUTE!! Shame on both of them!
You know, Once is an incident. And Twice is a coincidence. But THREE TIMES IS DELIBERATE! They are both guilty of deliberately being TOO CUTE! This burgundy incident was no accident. Trust me. I have been around too long. I know when people are being deliberately color-coordinated because I am an expert. I am telling you they did it ON PURPOSE as a shameful attention-getting device!
And I told Bob and Ana I was going to teach them a lesson and write them up in the newsletter. Do not feel sorry for them. Do not try to make them feel better. They are getting what they deserve! This unacceptable behavior is tantamount to publicly sticking their tongue out at me! Tsk Tsk!

So let this be a warning to Bob and Ana and any other color-coordinated couples that this kind of behavior will not be tolerated at the studio. Knock it off! From now on, cute couples must wear un-matching outfits or expect to be publicly called out.

It is hard enough to be lonely and see a couple together that is so obviously happy together. But when they start dress alike, that is TOO MUCH. And I have to tell you, everyone in that room agreed with me. Bob and Ana had gone too far. They were TOO CUTE FOR WORDS! Shame on them. Next time I think I will spank them.

Furthermore they better not come to the 2009 Halloween Party wearing matching outfits. That will be the absolute last straw.
long. They got teased a lot, but it didn't bother them at all. Their smiles indicated they absolutely reveled in all the attention given to them. Caroline especially showed great fondness for that gun. I heard there was a guy in a moose outfit who ran every time Caroline came near with her shotgun. Boy, I would loved to have gotten that picture! "

ON WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 11, Bob and Ana had the nerve to come to the studio wearing MATCHING CANDY-CANE RED AND WHITE SHIRTS!

After all my warnings, can you believe they did that! Bob and Ana are in SO MUCH TROUBLE!

I don't think we have heard the end of this story.

FYI - a Palindrome is a word spelled forwards and backwards the same way. Not only do they dress alike, they are probably the only dancing Palindromes in the world! And it's true! When BOB and ANA dance backwards, they look the same as when they dance forwards!
..........


THE THREE-YEAR UPDATE ON THE SSQQ SLOW DANCE AND ROMANCE STORY
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2009story.htm

With Valentine's Day rapidly approaching, I am pleased to report that Slow Dance and Romance is indeed alive and well here at SSQQ.

In 2008, we had 15 Weddings that were either be directly attributed to SSQQ or that SSQQ played a significant role in creating. This amazing total was actually just par for the course. Over the past 10 years, I have listed 147 Weddings that SSQQ has been involved in... and that's just counting the ones I know about. There are plenty more, believe me.

2009 has already brought us our first SSQQ Wedding. Former SSQQ Dance Instructor Leo Skiba married his long-time sweetheart Rebecca Turini in early January 2009. Leo met Rebecca in 2005 when she took his Beginning Two Step class here at the studio. Leo promises me plenty of details and a picture!

Furthermore, as I write, there are at least five more SSQQ weddings right around the corner: Patty Pennington and Guy Hoover, Olga Bochareva and Luis Castillo, Gerry Francis and Amy Adams, Keith Patterson and Penny Gunderson, plus Gus Donnell and Fran Zandstra.

We are approaching the three year anniversary of my Matchmaker Story about the history of the studio's legendary ability to create positive relationships.

(RICK ARCHER'S NOTE: This story is continued at
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2009story.htm )

AN SSQQ VALENTINE'S SPECIAL
RON MOORE AND KATHLEEN WOOD: A 1999 SSQQ ROMANCE REVISITED

Rick Archer's Note: The SSQQ Web Site came on line at the tail end of 1998. During the next year, 1999, every time someone got engaged or married, I listed the story in our Newsletter. Nor did I erase anything. The information from the entire year was able to accumulate in one spot.

At the end of 1999, I was trying to organize the Newsletter from 12 separate issues into one page that covered all the events from that year. During this project, I was surprised to notice all the marriages. When you announce one or two marriages a month, it isn't easy to see the big picture. But now I was seeing the Big Picture loud and clear - SSQQ was one heck of a wedding factory!

You can read the story of this discovery at
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/romance2009story.htm

By coincidence, one of my favorite couples from 1999 were profiled recently in a very nice story from the February 2009 issue of Fort Bend Lifestyles and Homes.

Leslie Tenaro, better known as "Eve" from her recent Garden of Eden Halloween costume, first pointed out the story to me. Then another person - I have completely forgotten who it was! (please forgive!) - handed me a copy. And here it is:
LOVE IS IN THE AIR! RON AND KATHLEEN MOORE
Reprinted from Fort Bend Lifestyles and Homes
February 2009
Article written by Beverly Maurice for their Valentine Issue

Who would have thought that a Country Dance lesson would lead to Paris?

Yet that's the story for attorney Ron Moore and his wife Kathleen. Ron is an attorney for oil and gas interests and small businesses. Kathleen is a board member for the Petroleum Club Ladie's Assocation and a past president.

They met in 1996 when each had enrolled for dance lessons at the SSQQ Country Dance Studio. That stands for Slow Slow Quick Quick and the studio taught ballroom lessons too. The lessons came first in group style, and then each person was to find a partner to practice with.

"He asked me to dance," said Kathleen, "and I begged off. I was afraid I hadn't learned the steps very well, and I told him I probably couldn't do it yet."

But Ron wasn't about to be put off that easily. Here was a pretty red-head with a sincere smile. Ron convinced her to give it a try. "Everybody's in that same situation," he said. Ron added, "Kathleen's actually a good dancer. She even followed when the leads were bad."

Kathleen was impressed with his determination and the pleasant way he insisted. So they began meeting for the practice dance sessions after every class for about three months. Each became the other's favorite dance partner. Eventually they joined a group of students who went on to a Country Western bar after classes.

For their first date, Ron took Kathleen to the Houston Ballet. Getting to know one another, they dated for almost two years. That's when Ron dreamed up a beautiful proposal.

"We went to New York to see a play," said Ron, "and I took her to the Rainbow Room for dinner beforehand. I proposed over dinner, and we looked for the ring later."

They flew to Paris for the wedding and were married in the Gardens of Luxebourg on the 99th day of the 99th year of the last century.

Their advice on keeping a happy union:
Ron: "Give and take - be happy!"
Kathleen: "Lots of laughter and humor, being there for each other. We love nature, animals, cultural events, things historical and dancing at the Petroleum Club."

And with memories of Paris, they like to plan together for their vacation trips.

(Here is the original SSQQ Newsletter Version of Ron and Kathleen's story:
www.ssqq.com/newsletter/news1999x05may.htm

Here is Ron and Kathleen's picture:
http://www.ssqq.com/romance/grapevinepics.htm )

RICK ARCHER'S NOTE:

Ron and Kathleen's touching romance is straight out of the SSQQ Playbook. Although they were in different dance classes, they stuck around afterwards at Practice Night. That's when Ron first asked Kathleen to dance.

Pretty soon they were also dancing outside the studio with "THE GROUP". Eventually Ron and Kathleen began dating, one thing led to another, and they have been happily married for 10 years.

Newcomers to SSQQ might think this is a unique story, but it isn't. I have seen this same thing happen time and time again at the studio.

If I have one suggestion for all of you: STAY FOR PRACTICE NIGHT
Dance class is a good place to notice people, but the sparks always begin to fly at Practice Night.
..................................

AN ARTICLE ON COURTSHIP RITUALS

By Martha Brockenbrough
from the ENCARTA Newsletter

When I was 20 years old, I spent a few months living on the island of Crete. The man I worked for told me that back in his courting days, girls could use bread crusts to signal their interest in boys. If a girl served a boy a piece of bread and turned the rounded crust toward him, zing! It meant she was interested.

I asked him if anyone had ever shown him the sad side of the bread. Yes, he admitted; finding his one true loaf took a few tries.

OK, he said love, not loaf. But the rest is true and I never forgot -- mainly because at that time in my life, it seemed like such a better way of navigating the rocky shoals of romance than, you know, actually talking to someone.

Courtship before milkshakes and trunks

It wasn't just the Cretans who came up with word-free icebreakers, it turns out. The Evergreen State College historian Stephanie Coontz, who wrote "Marriage, a History," told me of a charming ritual in ancient China called "visiting girls."

Boys who wanted a visit, as it were, would play musical instruments to entertain a group of girls sitting in a circle. When a girl caught a boy's eye, he would stop in front of her.

Up until this point, the ritual is just like the dance known as "the snowball" we used to do in the early '80s at my town's roller-skating rink. But the Chinese tradition was more elegant than skating to "Morning Train" while the black light and strobes created a special mood; if the girl fancied the boy, she'd reach beneath her skirt and pull out ... a stool for him to sit on. (You didn't think she was going to pull out something else, did you? Tsk.) The boy might even wrap a shawl around her shoulders, just to keep her warm.

The Chinese also had special courtship songs. If a man saw a woman he was attracted to, he might sing this:

"The spring breeze reawakens the sleeping grass,
On the mountain slopes bloom all kinds of flowers.
My dear, you are the most exquisite flower,
Nobody can help admiring you ... "

The woman's reply, if she liked him, offered an invitation to her stilt house for a cup of tea.

This is almost exactly like the Black Eyed Peas song, "My Humps."

Boy: "What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?"
Girl: "I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump."

With the exception of the fact that one is poetic and the other completely crass, and one beverage is tea while the other is something fermented, it's remarkable how little things have changed over the centuries.

Bondage and role playing

While all this talk of tea and trunks is cozy, it's perhaps not as cozy as something called "bundling," a practice that took place in colonial America, Britain, Holland and Germany.

If a young couple wanted to be married and their parents approved, they were permitted to share a bed. The girl's nightdress would be knotted at the bottom. Perhaps unsurprisingly, some teenagers undid the knots in the pursuit of the naughty. Bundling occasionally led to bundles of joy about nine months later. Can you imagine a teen today requesting the privilege?

Somewhat surprisingly, the Puritans had better courtship rituals than the Communists. In 1952, Moscow Radio featured a hot commie pickup line, as demonstrated by a boy and girl working side by side on a collective farm.

The book "The History of Courting" by E. S. Turner says the girl should say, "How wonderful it is to work on such a beautiful night under the full moon and do one's utmost to save petrol." Then the boy replies, "The night inspires me to over-fulfill my quota by a higher and still higher percentage." I do not believe this is a euphemism, by the way.

The Burmese Communist courtship protocol of the same era deemed "you are beautiful" and "I love you" as bourgeois statements, inferior to such sweet nothings as, "I am deeply impressed by your qualities as a faithful and energetic member of the Party, and I wish to wage the Party struggle together with you." Again, not a euphemism, though if you're into communist role-playing games, I suppose it could be.

Some things will never change

What's likely to be more durable advice, though, comes from the Roman poet Ovid, born more than 2,000 years ago. He was banished, perhaps for his potentially tongue-in-cheek advice in "The Art of Love," which recommends -- among other things -- giving desirable women many gifts, and even pretending flowers and fruits come from your own country estates (that would totally work on me).

Also, if she cries, cry with her, even if you have to poke yourself in the eye to do it. Finally, make sure you don't let her cloak drag in the dirt. If you carry the edges of it, you might even get to check out her legs in the process.

His advice isn't just for men, either. Women should keep their teeth clean, but not while men are watching. They should also learn to smile in such a way that their missing and rotten teeth don't show. And they should keep their legs and armpits shaved:

"A stubbled leg your suitor will not charm
And -- dare I warn? -- no goat below the arm."

And so there you have it: Things that have united lovers for thousands of years. Good luck fulfilling your quotas, my exquisite flowers.
..............................


UPDATE ON OUR BARCELONA 2009 TRIP: GUESS WHAT PATTY GOT FOR VALENTINES DAY?

The sublime Patty Harrison, beautiful, blond, talkative, semi-nuts, got a surprise for Valentine's Day from her honey Joe, aka Mr. Smile. Patty and Joe are going on the Barcelona Cruise!

I have been sworn to absolute secrecy for weeks, so I am glad that V-Day is finally here and I can break the story. Cher Longoria was especially excited to find out there would be another beautiful blond along on the trip.

That Joe sure makes it hard for the rest of us guys on Valentine's, doesn't he?

By the way, this trip is shaping up nicely. Despite the horrible economy, I think a lot of people are keeping an eye on this trip for the simple reason that this is the one of the most exciting Destination Cruise Trips we have ever taken. I don't know if any trip will ever beat Hawaii, but this Barcelona sure has a lot going for it. Check out the Itinerary:
http://www.ssqq.com/travel/barcelona2009.htm

.............

EXPLORING POTENTIAL FUTURE CRUISE DESTINATIONS PART TWO

(Rick Archer's Note: This was an article sent to me by Alan Fox, owner of Vacations to Go, a Houston-based Travel Agency that has grown to be one of the most successful travel agencies in the country. Alan is a former basketball buddy of mine and good friend.

I published Part One in last week's Newsletter. Here is PART TWO of Alan's first-hand story of his trip to Antarctica.)

From: VacationsToGo.com
Sent: Monday, February 09, 2009 8:39 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: Vacations To Go Cruise Newsletter anarctica two

Dear Mr. Archer,

Alan Fox is cruising Antarctica on the Minerva, chartered by Regent Seven Seas, and his second report follows.
________________________________________

And now there came both mist and snow
And it grew wondrous cold:
And ice, mast-high, came floating by,
As green as emerald.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Samuel Taylor Coleridge
________________________________________

I knew when I opened my eyes in our darkened cabin that we had reached Antarctica--the smooth ride gave it away. Drake Passage was behind us and would not be a factor again, at least until our return to Ushuaia.

I fumbled for my watch--5am--and moved quietly to the curtains for a peak. In latitude, we had survived the Furious Fifties and entered the Screaming Sixties. This far south, it would be light nearly 24 hours a day, but alas, from the port side, there was only the Southern Ocean to see.

Ten minutes later, dressed and laden with camera gear, I had the outside decks of the Minerva entirely to myself as I stood silent, mesmerized by the soaring white peaks of the South Shetland Islands and a massive iceberg--taller than our vessel--off our starboard side.

The sea and the sky were gray, with a temperature in the low 30s (F) and a brisk breeze that made it feel much colder. Suddenly, in the distance, a whale spouted, and almost simultaneously I was pelted by snow, horizontal snow that in five minutes had turned my gloves white as I fought to hold my camera steady against the wind.

My heart pounding, I was as excited as a child, desperately wanting to run back inside to scream to my traveling companions to get up, we're here, but unable to tear my eyes away from the view.

I saw six more whales that morning as the ship came to life--humpbacks and minkes--giant animals in a giant land.

By the time the Minerva cut her speed and began to approach Penguin Island, our first landing spot, I had missed breakfast altogether. Not to worry, in four days at sea I had eaten more than enough to tide me over.

I booked the Minerva because she is the finest of the ships that put people ashore in Antarctica. Twice a day for four days we were to spend 1˝ to 2 hours exploring the shore or in motorized, inflatable rafts called Zodiacs, cruising through icebergs. Both of today's excursions were to be shore landings, and our excitement was palpable.

We met at the appointed place and time, climbed down temporary stairs on the outside of the ship and were helped into our Zodiacs, 10 guests per raft, along with a driver who was also a skilled naturalist.

We were bundled in new red parkas provided by the ship, ours to keep, waterproof pants and boots, gloves, caps and two or three layers underneath. The right gear is a necessity as every one of these items made a difference.

Five minutes later, we reached the rocky beach, threw our legs over the side of the raft and slipped into the ankle-deep water. We were met by our expedition leader, Suzana, who gave us the lay of the land, reminded us to stay at least 15 feet from the animals and birds so as not to disturb them, and warned us to steer clear of potentially aggressive fur seals that dotted the beach.

It was snowing again but the wind had nearly died as I stepped away from the group, cleared my head and took in the panorama.

To my left, the rocky beach gave way to water and a distant island with snow-covered peaks and calving glaciers. Dead ahead, the Minerva was several hundred yards offshore, and there were three ship-sized icebergs a mile or more beyond. To my right, not far from the water, there were fur seals, elephant seals and a Weddell seal, and in the sky, giant petrels, skuas (penguin-eaters) and Antarctic terns.

Farther down the beach, the rocky shore led to an elevated plateau that was covered with hundreds of chinstrap penguins--adults and chicks--continuously squawking and chirping. I did not have to hike all the way to the rookery for a close-up view, though, as solos and groups of two or three or four chinstraps were solemnly marching in every direction--including mine.

Penguins in Antarctica have no fear of humans and are as curious about us as we are about them. It seemed almost as if individual penguins had been assigned to watch each of us.

Several times that day I had to back up as the adorable little creatures--apparently unaware of the 15-foot rule--waddled right up to my camera as I knelt to take their pictures.

The exploration of Penguin Island was filled with "firsts" for me, including the first time I have ever been charged by a yelping fur seal. I don't know why he took an interest in me--I was giving him a very wide berth. I wondered if he'd sensed weakness from that meal I had missed, and resolved not to miss any more.

I had been instructed by Suzana to clap my hands above my head in such a situation, which is easier said than done while holding a camera with a foot-long lens. Still, it worked, and there is a pre-clap photo of this fellow in today's slideshow. It's slightly out-of-focus as he was backing me into the ocean at the time.

At the rookery, we watched adult chinstraps feeding their young with regurgitated krill, a shrimp-like creature that is the main food for whales and seals as well. Chicks are the gray, furry penguins in the pictures, and they must molt into their black-and-white, waterproof plumage before the summer ends.

In only a few months, summer will close like a curtain and every drop of water within sight of this island will be frozen over for the long, dark winter. Young and old penguins must make their way far out to sea before that happens.

By the end of the excursion, the sun broke through the clouds and added color to the landscape. For the first time, I noticed an extinct volcano on nearby King George Island, and I was flabbergasted to hear that its red cone is called Deacon Peak.

Five thousand miles away, on that very same morning, the Deacons of Wake Forest University (my alma mater) had been elevated to the No. 1 position in men's basketball. It occurred to me that I was the only Deacon looking at Deacon Peak as the Deacons peaked.

Clearly, lack of food had begun to affect my mind.

We returned to the ship and remedied that situation with a hearty lunch of grilled German sausages on the aft deck. The bright sun turned the morning's gray water to near-tropical blues and greens.

With the ship's band playing and a whale breaching off our stern, the Minerva set sail for our next destination. We'd packed an awful lot into our first half day in Shangri-La, but we were only beginning.


Alan Fox...somewhere in Antarctica
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AND THAT'S A WRAP FOR FEBRUARY 2009 ISSUE 3.

THIS ISSUE WAS 15 PAGES LONG WHICH MAKES IT 16 PAGES SHORTER THAN LAST WEEK.
TRILLIONS OF ELECTRONS HAVE BEEN DESTROYED IN THE CREATION OF THIS ISSUE. TOUGH.
THANKS FOR READING!