Chapter One of the Story of Rick and Marla’s Wedding Aboard the
Ship
On Sunday, September 26, I had the
pleasure of marrying Marla aboard the Rhapsody.
August 2001
By the time we got married, Marla and I had been going together for three
years. Did you know we actually connected on a previous SSQQ Cruise?
Back in August 2001, I organized a trip that took 101 passengers aboard
the Carnival Celebration.
On the first night of that trip, Marla and I
both showed up for the “Singles Dance” in the Disco
at midnight. Marla was in the doorway just about to leave when I
spied her across the room.
Marla was one of 101 passengers with the SSQQ group. I barely knew her
except that she had been in several of my dance classes. I
had noticed in dance class on several occasions that she was smart,
pretty, and had a quick wit. I also noticed she had a
smart mouth, but then so do I. Plus I like a woman with three hands
(inside joke, see picture at right). We often traded barbs.
However I also knew she had a long-time boyfriend outside the studio whom
I had never met. I had been intrigued by her for some time
because I had a hunch her relationship was shaky.
Almost from the moment she signed up for the cruise
without her boyfriend, I had been speculating.
The moment I realized Marla was beginning to edge away,
I decided to act. I swiftly moved to ask her to dance.
Marla accepted my offer to dance, but first she handed
me her room key. She didn't have a purse or a
pocket, so she asked me to put in my pocket
instead. I smiled and said sure.
We have never been apart since. I didn’t have to
bother giving her back that key because that was the
night we fell in love.
After dancing, we talked a while inside the Disco. Then
we danced some more. About 2 am we went outside
and sat all by ourselves in lounge chairs under the
watchful eye of the moon and starlit
night. There was a remarkable ocean breeze created by a nearby hurricane
that added a marvelous intensity. There was magic in the air.
Was it romantic? Definitely.
Marla and I literally talked about everything under the stars till
sunrise. That was the night we fell in love. We
have never been apart since.
Getting Married Aboard the
Rhapsody
After a year where we were
practically never apart, we moved in together in
September 2002. In June 2003, Marla sold
her house. We got engaged in May 2004. Now it
was time to make it official.
Originally we thought we would get married in Rocky Mountain National Park
since that is where I first made the decision to ask Marla to marry me.
But a scouting trip earlier this year showed us how impractical the idea
was. Time for Plan B!
That’s when we decided to get married on our September
SSQQ Rhapsody Trip. It seemed like the perfect way to complete the Circle
of our relationship. We were excited by our decision.
We weren’t the only ones who liked the idea. We
received so many congratulations. The moment we announced our plans, our
registrations to join us on the trip immediately began to rise. We both
felt very flattered.
The Infamous Bachelorette Party
Marla’s best friend Mara Rivas quickly suggested a
Girl’s Night Out Bachelorette Party for Marla. Mara is a lovely woman,
very graceful and outgoing. I would like Mara even more if she would just
do one simple thing: get a new first name!!
Sometimes
when I talk too fast I slur my words. I am ashamed to admit the countless
times in an intimate moment that I have whispered to my fiancée, “I love you
so much, Mara!”
I am not the only one who gets it
wrong! Many times Mara has been
congratulated at the studio for our engagement by well-meaning people who
get the two lovely women
confused.
A good sitcom writer would have a field day with the
never-ending series of innocent flubs based on the similarity of the two
names. Marla usually just
smiles and adds her pet phrase, “Add the L or go to hell.”
Fortunately for the most part both ladies are patient with the
tongue-twisters.
Due to Mara’s exquisite organizational skills, she lined
up a veritable army of well-wishers for the evening including Marla’s
beautiful 21-year old daughter Marissa. Did you notice her name started
with “M”?
That was the standing joke. If your name didn’t start with
M, you were the exception. Along for the ride that evening was a sea of
‘M’s: Marlies, Martha, Mara, Marla, Marissa, Marta, Melanie,
plus 16 more women
whose name started with some other letter.
After dinner at Mara’s house, this army of hot-blooded
women hit La Bare's with the objective of knocking Marla
for a loop.
They succeeded royally. Marla was hit with one tequila shot after another.
Marla resisted for a while, but at some point gave in. Slam Bam Marla was
drunk as a skunk. Then came the obligatory lap
dance. Marla cleverly didn't bother to tell me this part of the story
until AFTER the wedding. As a result Marla got off easy. My own
Bachelor Party was quite a bit tamer - breakfast at 59 Diner with my
basketball friends.
After an hour of drunken excess and titillating lewdness, the girls left the
male strip club and headed over to Wild West with one
final objective in mind: get Marla even drunker.
Marla was startled to see men swarming around her daughter
Marissa like mosquitoes in a swamp. They were everywhere. Forgetting her
daughter was old enough to take care of herself, Marla acted like a mother
bear and shushed each potential suitor away. “I’m her mother and she’s too
young for you!” Marissa embarrasses easily anyway, so you can assume she
was in constant pain all evening long with her over-protective mother’s
antics.
Marla danced, Marla drank, Marla talked, Marla chased men
away from her daughter, fielded a few passes directed her way as well, and
generally was just barely on the edge of control. Finally it was time for
Marissa to take her mom home and put her to bed, but not before one more
embarrassment.
As Marissa guided Marla to the car, Marla spotted a
policeman eying her suspiciously. Marla blurted out, “You can’t arrest me,
Officer, my daughter’s driving!!”
Noticing the policeman didn’t look at all charmed, Marissa
said, “He can still get you for public intoxication! Now be quiet and
behave!”
Marissa dropped her mother off around 1 am. Marla
immediately came and got me to look at all her presents. I gasped. The
entire living room looked like an advertisement for Victoria’s Secret. I
have never seen so much lingerie in my entire life. I immediately suggested
Marla try some of it on. “Nope, too tired.”
After the infamous Bachelorette Party, our lives heated up to a blistering
pace. Marla barely had time to eat, much less try on new clothes. Let me
add that on the day of the wedding it was all still there in the boxes. As
I would walk through the living room at night, I often imagined that one
nightgown after another was laughing at me.
The Girl’s Night Out was probably the only moment of comic relief in the
four months leading up to the cruise and the wedding day. The rest of the
story reads like “Alice in Wonderland” for its absurdity.
One Problem After Another
We had not originally planned on
sailing on the Rhapsody in September. Last summer Marla and I took 150
people on a July 4th Cruise aboard the Carnival Jubilee. This trip
still holds the record for most passengers.
When it came time to plan a summer cruise for 2004, we went with Carnival
again. To our dismay there was a universal rebellion among the passengers
from the year before. As with many embarrassing situations, no one wanted to
explain to our faces what the problem was. Finally Marla and I figured it
out - after a trip aboard a pathetic Carnival ship the year before, everyone
had decided they like our cruises, but not enough to get back on Carnival.
Once it became obvious that our July 4th Cruise
scheduled aboard Carnival had no chance of making, Marla and I decided to
switch gears and book the September Rhapsody Cruise instead. We
were amazed by the instant success of this trip.
Good move. By May, it quickly became obvious
that this cruise would be extremely successful.
After returning from the disappointing trip to scout the Stanley Hotel in
Estes Park, Colorado, as a potential wedding site, we decided that a wedding on the cruise trip was exactly what we wanted.
So Marla got
in touch with Royal Romance, an affiliate of Royal Caribbean that handles
weddings aboard the ship.
This is when Marla got her first hint that this would not
be a smooth ride. Marla was told that another wedding had already been
scheduled aboard the Rhapsody for the same trip! This group of 80 people
would be using the main dance venue aboard the ship known as the “Shall We
Dance” Lounge.
We were out of luck.
Then I asked Marla why they couldn’t have two weddings the
same day. Why not put us in the Disco? So Marla asked again and discovered
that this was a possibility. There was one catch. Since the venue was so
much smaller, we could only have 35 guests. Make that 33. Marla and I
counted as guests.
33 guests! Are you kidding me?? We agonized over this.
I had a lot of friends on the SSQQ Staff and business associates like Ted
and Kathy Weisgal from Leisure Learning I would have loved to invite. Marla
had girl friends who had stayed with her through thick and thin that she
could not invite. I had many friends among the students at the studio past
and present I could not invite. Marla had close friends at her job she could
not invite. We could easily have had a guest list of 100 people. We could
only have one-third that total.
We thought about it for a while and decided we could still
make this work. Since many of our friends were going on the cruise, we
decided we could have an intimate (i.e. small) wedding and reception for our
relatives and land-based friends early in the day. This would be followed by
a larger dance reception later in the day for the 120 people on the cruise.
In other words, we could have two Receptions.
Besides, this meant our courtship would come full circle.
“Met in the Disco, Married in the Disco”. Considering how much Disco has
meant to my career, it all seemed fitting. This was actually the deciding
factor. Maybe we could make this work after all. So we agreed to the
wedding using the smaller venue.
It looked good on paper, but little did we know what we
were getting ourselves into. Nothing was easy from here in.
Marla’s relationship with the Royal Romance agency was
cordial but very frustrating. Getting the details straight was a
painstaking process because no particular person at Royal Romance was
assigned to her project. In other words, no one person was responsible for
its “success” and “completion”.
Each time Marla called she got any one of six different
people. Whoever answered the phone was now in charge. Did she get the same
answer from each person? Of course not. Was anyone bound to honor an
agreement made by the previous agent? Of course not.
And there were more difficulties. It turned out that Royal Romance is a
private firm contracted to handle wedding details. They had great
difficulty coordinating the activities since they in essence were an
“outside organization” that had no control over the decision-making
process. Marla would ask RR something, they would ask someone at the RCCL
office or someone aboard the ship something, and then relay the answer back
to Marla. Since the Rhapsody was undergoing some personnel changes at this
exact time plus fending off hurricanes, there were days when no one had even
filled the post to give an answer!! Ever try to bargain this way? Glaciers
move more quickly.
For example, Marla asked if she could have the flowers at
her first reception moved to her second reception. A question of this
magnitude took a month to answer until the word came down. Yes, Marla could
have her flowers at both venues. This incident should paint the picture quickly.
Another time we were to be charged $600 for a DJ. We
patiently explained we would be bringing our own music aboard. A week later
we were told this meant we would have to pay $300 for a sound technician to
set our equipment up. We said we could set it up ourselves. They said we
had no choice. After another week of haggling, they finally backed down and
let us take care of our own music. (Good thing too. As it turned out, we
ended up playing at most 3 songs at the wedding!)
However the most serious communication snafu had nothing
to do with Royal Romance. The biggest headache concerned the fabled “Shall
We Dance” Lounge aboard the Rhapsody. This gorgeous room has a beautiful
circular dance floor in the very center. There is a stage in front of the
dance floor with seats surrounding it on three sides. You have two large
windows with a panoramic view of the ocean plus beautiful murals of Fred
Astaire/Ginger Rogers-era dancers on two walls. Someone with exquisite
taste designed this eye-catching Ballroom. Of course Marla and I wanted our
second reception here!
Royal Romance was in charge of the first reception, but
had nothing to do with the second reception. This needed to be handled by
the Travel Agent coordinating with an RCCL travel representative.
Marla was not only the woman getting married, but she was
also the SSQQ Travel Agent. This gave her the advantage of dealing directly
with an RCCL internal sales rep. Almost immediately Marla arranged every
detail of her trip entirely to her liking only to see all her work get
thrown in the water at the last minute.
The moment Marla set up the group account with Royal
Caribbean for this trip, she was supposed to be assigned a Specialist to
handle our account. Unfortunately no one had been assigned and people were
signing up quickly. So Marla dealt with whoever answered the phone to take
the newest registration. Sound familiar to Royal Romance? Marla quickly
became frustrated because she was new to this and kept getting different
answers and different advice.
Marla had been bounced through four different agents when
one day she got a young man named Courtne Smith on the line (yes, that is
how he spells his name so don’t ask again). He was bright and very willing
to help. He patiently coached her through several areas she was uncertain
about. He also answered her newcomer questions without the sarcasm Marla had
experienced with the four previous agents.
After a thirty-minute call
handling stuff, Marla realized Courtne was extremely knowledgeable. On the
spur of the moment, Marla suddenly asked Courtne to be her “specialist”. He
replied, “Sure. I will help you in any way I can.” Marla let out a huge
sigh of relief.
Over the next several months, Marla developed a terrific
rapport with Courtne Smith. He went way beyond the call of duty on more
than one occasion to help Marla solve various problems as they occurred.
Being a Travel Agent means handling a million details. Courtne was
incredibly patient and gentle. On more than one occasion, it was Courtne’s
humor and warmth over the phone that kept Marla from losing her sanity.
Courtne quickly became one of Marla’s heroes as he helped
her negotiate the Byzantine corridors of the Travel Industry.
Using the rapport Marla had with Courtne, it was a simple
matter for Marla to ask him to reserve the “Shall We Dance” Lounge for our
second reception. Courtne contacted the Social Director on the Rhapsody and
received permission. In early June, Marla received an email confirmation
from Courtne saying our request had been approved.
So what’s the problem?? Why is this even part of the
story? Enter Karen Siglar.
On September 1st, Marla got a phone call from a
woman named Karen Siglar who introduced herself as the SSQQ Group
Specialist. Marla thought that was odd since at this point she and Courtne
had already completed most of the work. Understandably loyal to the young
man who had been so instrumental in the success of the trip, Marla replied
that she already had Courtne as her specialist.
To her surprise, Karen harshly contradicted her. In a cold
voice, she said that Marla was wrong. Karen said Courtne is “just an agent
for sales. I am your specialist.”
This made Marla angry. She answered, “I have been asking
for months for who my specialist was. Since RCCL had not gotten around to
assigning one, Courtne was gracious enough to pick up the responsibilities
and make the necessary plans.”
Things were getting ugly. These were two women had not
gotten off on the right foot. Now in no uncertain terms, Karen replied,
“Let me repeat. I am your specialist. I will be the one helping you make the
arrangements for the group activities. Courtne is responsible for nothing
more than booking the passengers. Now, tell me what your group requests are.
I show nothing confirmed.”
Now Marla lost it. Nothing was confirmed?
Did this mean the hours of phone work and emails with Courtne down the
drain? Marla replied, “I have confirmation by email and fax confirming that
our requests have already been approved. In fact I even have an email
showing where I changed the time of our second reception in the Shall We
Dance Lounge at the request of the ship to accommodate their schedule.”
“Send me copies of each document.” In other words, Ms.
Sieglar expected Marla to prove that she wasn’t lying. So Marla did send
Karen her copies.
A couple days later Karen Siglar emailed Marla to explain
that there had been a change in shipboard personnel on the Rhapsody.
There was a new activities director who had made some minor switches. Yes,
in fact, Rhapsody personnel had indeed confirmed each of our 3 dance
classes, but there was one small change.
The Sunday reception in the “Shall We Dance” Lounge had
been moved to the Viking Crown Disco to accommodate a children’s orientation
meeting.
Marla went ballistic. She screamed so loud the roof of
our house briefly lifted from its frame. Now I got involved. Marla and I
crafted a heartfelt response:
“Your suggestion is simply not acceptable. The Viking
Crown Disco is not large enough to accommodate this many dancers. The use
of the Shall We Dance Lounge has already been approved. And besides, it is
the end of September. Has anyone noticed that school has started? I imagine
the number of children will not be so overwhelming that another venue can’t
be found. However there is not one other venue on your entire ship suitable
for a group as large as ours. Besides, it is not just another dance class.
We need this venue for our wedding reception!! We expect you to honor your
previous commitment.”
There was no immediate response. A 1-2-3 punch of
hurricanes soon descended upon Florida, making our own problem secondary to
their far more serious concerns. Communication with RCCL stopped for nearly
a week while they worked their way out of enormous problems. Hurricane
Frances alone was so disruptive in its timing that it is said RCCL lost $15
million over that early September weekend.
Day after day went by without an answer to our
confrontational email. Courtne said his hands were tied. Now that Ms.
Siglar was involved, he was no longer able to do a thing. Unfortunately
Karen Siglar insisted in staying involved. By some coincidence, nothing
got accomplished. Days became a Week. Marla was going out of her mind. As
of September 12, just two weeks before sailing, we still didn’t have an
answer.
Finally Marla lost her patience. She had waited 10 days
without any answer. So she went over Ms. Siglar’s head by contacting
Barbara Graham, Ms. Sieglar’s supervisor, to complain about the Shall We
Dance Lounge problem. This magically broke the logjam.
Ms. Graham was confident something could be done. Sure
enough, one week later we got the Lounge back.
There was another curious development as well. Courtne
was promoted to the Specialist level shortly after Marla spoke to Ms.
Graham. Marla soon received a call from Courtne. “Marla, you have
permission to call whomever you wish and if I am the person you want to talk
to, I have the authority to handle any concern you have.” In other words,
Courtne was now Marla’s “official” Specialist. Hallelujah!
It was good to see Courtne receive the promotion that in
our eyes he richly deserved. I am sure our anger with Ms. Siglar’s
intransigence had put him in several awkward spots, but rather than
withdraw, he continued to help us the whole time. He was right there till
the very end. For example, when my friend George Grega had to drop off the
trip just days before departure due to work problems, we passed our deadline
for finding a replacement. Courtne extended our deadline, which allowed us
to add Thomas Eng at the very last minute. Courtne’s patience saved us $500
in penalties.
Thank you so much, Courtne Smith from Kansas City!! You
have earned both Marla’s and my respect for your hard work helping Marla put
together a very complicated yet ultimately successful trip! We are both
very grateful.
Yes, indeed, Courtne and Marla worked well together and
their diligence paid off. Let it be known that at 120 people, the SSQQ
group was the largest single group on our sailing by a wide margin. The next
group checked in at 90 and third place was around 20. Marla and Courtne
made quite a team!
The Pre-nup from Hell
Once the Shall We Dance Lounge hurdle was crossed a mere
10 days before sailing, Marla and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. For
some reason, we figured the coast was clear. Boy, were we wrong!
Part of the problem was that Marla’s nerves were shot. A
worrier by nature, the four-month struggle of planning a complicated
wedding, remodeling the house for her relatives flying in for the wedding,
doing her day-time job as a gift representative, plus handling all the
details as the cruise travel agent had taken its toll.
However the straw that almost broke the camel’s back was a
48-page prenuptial wedding agreement from hell. There were only two things
that Marla and I wanted in writing and we had already agreed on both
points. These points were simple - we wanted our
pre-marriage assets to stay our own and we wanted the freedom to spend our
salaries and our pre-marriage assets as we pleased to put our daughters
through college. As far as I am concerned, two or three pages would have
been sufficient.
I realize I opened the door when I asked my lawyer to add
whatever she thought was necessary. I know my lawyer was doing her
job to the best of her ability, but quite frankly I was
stunned to
see to a 48 page document! Even worse, I soon
discovered I could not understand what it said.
This document was so long and so complex in its wording
that Marla had no choice but to hire another attorney just to decipher the
thing. My lawyer added excruciating stress by arguing with me
when I asked that many of the clauses be deleted. Right up to the final
moment I remained so confused by the document that ultimately I was glad we
had a second attorney. I counted on Marla’s attorney to reassure me what
was written was fair to all parties.
Wouldn’t it be nice if lawyers were forced to write their
documents in ‘English’ instead of ‘Lawyer’?
Previous to the Pre-nup confusion, Marla had already been
battle shocked. I was a little stronger than her, but very tense from the
always-difficult task of writing my studio’s Newsletter. However the 30
days of back and forth arguing with my own attorney over this document drove
me nuts with frustration. Now as we signed the document just four days
before the wedding, I joined Marla at the breaking point. We were both
barely-functioning loony tunes.
The Gods Decide to Smile
It was about this time that we actually caught a break.
Actually we didn’t just catch a break. We got unbelievably lucky. After
leaving the law office on Wednesday, September 22nd at 3:30 pm, I
asked Marla what was next on the list of things to do. She reminded me we
still needed to get our marriage license. But she thought tomorrow morning
might be better since the office closed at 4:30 pm. Her Royal Romance ‘How
to Get Married’ checklist said we needed to get a certified copy of a
divorce decree in order to get a marriage license. Both attorneys agreed.
They told us where to go to get one. We had just enough time for a visit to
get the decree or a visit to get the license. As I thought about, I had a
very strong feeling this divorce decree wasn’t necessary.
Before I made up mind I asked Marla when the carpet
cleaner was coming. ‘Tomorrow morning’, she said. After what
the dogs had done
to our carpets I sure didn’t want to take the chance of missing this guy!
So I said, “Let’s take a gamble. I realize your document from Royal Romance
says we need the certified copy of the divorce decree, but we don’t have
time to get both it and the marriage license today. Let’s just go get the
marriage license and maybe the decree is not a necessity. Then if I’m
wrong, we can make both trips tomorrow.” Marla, who is a rule-follower by
nature, looked at me like I was crazy. Finally she agreed to give it a try.
At 4:20 pm, we walked into the marriage license department
downtown. It closed at 4:30. The place was deserted and the clerk had her
right foot out the door. She took one look at us, then at her watch, and
then frowned. I could tell she wanted to go home bad, but knew we wouldn’t
stand for it. Finally she said, “I guess we have enough time to do this.”
She asked for our driver’s license and social security
card. The next thing she said was, “Have either of you ever been married
before?”
Uh oh. I had a sick feeling in my stomach. But I didn’t
see what good it would do to lie. Marla and I both said “yes”. She checked
a box, but didn’t look up.
Her next question was “Is the address on your driver’s
license correct?”
I could not believe my ears. We were home free!!
We both began to grin. We supplied any and all details
just as quickly as we could. Then she asked us to raise our right hand and
solemnly swear that everything we had told her was the whole truth blah blah
blah. I raised my right hand and said I had told the whole truth blah blah
blah.
Then she asked when we were getting married. We said
Sunday. She said that was good, because if we were getting married on
Saturday, we would have been too late. She reminded us that the certificate
had to be obtained 72 hours in advance of the wedding.
Marla and I turned to stare at each other in stunned
silence. If we had gone to get the divorce decree it would have been too
late to come here. If we had waited till the morning, it would have been
too late. We had just snuck in under the wire.
The lady said, “Well, that’s it for today. That makes you
my last customers!”
We barely said a word as we drove home. Marla had
completely overlooked that paragraph. But when she looked again, the
72-hour clause was right there in the very first paragraph of the Royal
Romance. Marla could not understand how she had missed it. Marla was white
as a sheet. An asteroid missing the earth by one mile wouldn’t have shaken
her any more. Through a combination of my chutzpah and our sheer dumb luck
we had dodged an enormous screw up.
Wednesday included both the Pre-Nup signing and now the
Marriage License miracle. The
stress was unbearable. We were now both officially complete and total basket cases.
The next day Thursday was errand day. Luggage and a new
shirt for the tux were on the agenda. As we headed home, a car made a
sudden illegal left turn in front of me as I drove through a green light. I
wasn’t going particularly fast, but I had no choice but to simply plow right
into the side of the car. I winced as I saw my car smash the other car’s
passenger doors to smithereens. My front end was badly scraped.
Fortunately both cars
were drivable and no one was hurt. It was just
another typical fender bender.
However naturally there was one more insult to deal with – the driver had no
insurance. How did I guess?
Marla may have lost her sanity first, but with this
incident I was completely and totally caught up. What else was going to go
wrong!?! As I grimly endured the Texas heat waiting for the cops to show
up, I nodded to the Universe. In my mind the Universe had done me a favor
the day before, so now a little bad luck had to come my way. This evened the
score.
From that point on Marla and I were so mentally drained by
the pressure that both of us were barely crawling toward the finish line on
hands and feet.
Thankfully Friday and Saturday were fairly tame days. One
by one our guests began to arrive. Seeing each of our friends and loved ones
gave us a much-needed cheer. Marla and I were hoping the worst was
behind us. Fat chance of that. This was only the calm before the storm.
Next: Story 2:
"I had an Oops Wedding!!"
