Tales of the Rhapsody 2004 Cruise

Chapter Seven A:
Mara's Champagne Night

Story written by Rick Archer

The SSQQ Champagne Night was a new tradition created on our 2004 Rhapsody Cruise. 

At the start of the trip, a bottle of Champagne was delivered to each cabin.  The surprised guests began to ask why this bottle had appeared out of nowhere.  

No one had asked for this gift.  Why was it even here?    Were they allowed to drink it?  Was it going to appear on their bill if they opened it?  What was going on?

Our guests soon learned the Champagne was a reward given to our guests by Marla Archer. 

Every cruise trip has points based on the number of guests in a group.  The travel agent has the choice of converting these points into income for herself or returning these points to the guests in the form of benefits.

The first three SSQQ cruises - 1998, 2001, 2002 - were organized by an outside Travel Agency.  In each case, the travel agent converted the points into commission for herself.

One of the reasons I asked Marla to consider learning how to book cruises herself is so we could stop throwing this money away and return it to our guests.

Marla completely agreed.  She believed her commission was reward enough.  She preferred to convert her points into benefits for the passengers. 

One of Marla's first decisions for the 2004 Rhapsody Trip was to convert her points into a complimentary bottle of Champagne for each room.

Marla Becomes a Travel Agent

During the 2001 Vera Cruz Trip when I first met Marla, I soon learned that travel has always been one of her favorite hobbies.  While the trip to Vera Cruz was my third cruise, Marla was already in double digits.

As I talked to Marla about her love of travel, my mind was already racing ahead to the future. 

Even though I barely knew the woman, I was already planning the rest of our life together.   Marla and I knew almost immediately from the very first night of that trip that our destiny was intertwined.  Call it Fate, call it Love at First Sight, but we both knew this was it.   

In addition to meeting the woman I would someday marry, the 2001 Trip also taught me how effectively SSQQ Dancing and Cruise Trips could work hand in hand.  I was prepared to promote more cruises through SSQQ, but first I had to figure out a way to stop giving the commissions to someone else.  

Practically from the moment we met I realized Marla was a natural for this role.  I used my contacts and secured a position for Marla as a "travel agent in training".  On the Jubilee 2003 trip, Marla shared the workload with an experienced travel agent.  Marla did so well that she was allowed to organize the Mardi Gras trip earlier in 2004 under limited supervision.  After the Mardi Gras 2004, Marla was now on her own.  Marla would still work for the agency, but she would essentially be a home-based travel agent who booked her own cruises.

Our Rhapsody 2004 trip was the first cruise where Marla did all the work without supervision. Given this kind of responsibility, from the start Marla put all her energy into making sure this would be our best trip ever.  I would have to say Marla succeeded royally.

Marla quickly noticed that many people greatly prefer to cruise within a group.  Traveling with friends is a marvelous way to share experiences.  Although it should be duly noted that although the mischief level varies drastically between the Singles and the Couples, traveling with a large group such as ours seemed equally attractive to both sides. 

The beauty of a group cruise is that you can be alone with a loved one or spend time with the group.  Either way is fine. No one begrudges you your privacy.  If you want to go your separate way, no problem.  On the other hand, if you feel lonely, it's your own fault!  In the SSQQ group, there is always someone to tag along with. 

The problem that people who are single run into is that sometimes it isn't that easy to find another person who has either the free time or the extra money on hand to take a lengthy trip. 

The nice thing about the SSQQ Cruise Trips is that people who are single and not involved with anyone at the moment can join the group and feel right at home. 

Furthermore, when you travel alone or with just one other person, you often get seated with a bunch of strangers.  Not us.  Dinner within the SSQQ group always feels like a family affair.  

The question is why couples enjoy the SSQQ Cruises so much.  One couple said it should be obvious - there are so many couples that go on these cruises, they always have other couples to hang out with!  

A group cruise allows you have it both ways.  When you wish to spend an evening alone with your partner, just put up the "Do Not Disturb" sign and go out on that balcony.  If you want to be sociable, go the Shall We Dance Lounge and hang out with Gary's Late Night crowd.  This kind of flexibility explains the beauty of traveling with a group on a large cruise ship.

Now that Marla was seeing the inside of the Travel Industry, she realized there are economic advantages to traveling with a Group as well.

Group fares were significantly less than the fares a couple would pay traveling by themselves.

Huge cocktail parties were just one of the many rewards given to large groups. 

Rooms were made available to the group during the day for dance lessons at no extra charge.

Best of all, free cabin upgrades were a wonderful side benefit to the group.  Marla learned that as the departure date nears, the cruise ship has an easier time selling the cheaper cabins than the expensive ones.  Unfortunately, the cheap cabins have long sold out.

So the cruise ship agent quietly begin to upgrade people already signed up.  Sometimes the upgrades are given to the first people who signed up.  Just as often they are given to the people in the large groups. 

One day Marla's "Specialist" called her up.  He said he had been told to upgrade twenty cabins.  He decided to reward Marla's group because she had been so easy to deal with.  Fifteen minutes later, 40 people in our group had moved up one or two decks!   This continued for several weeks.  In the end, 90 of 120 passengers had gotten their cabins upgraded for free.  There are definite advantages to booking a cruise through a group. 

Side Note: Although Marla has no control over upgrades, she has received them for every trip she has ever booked.  One word of caution - anyone in our group who ASKS Marla about upgrades automatically becomes the last person in line to get one.   

They say Champagne is meant to celebrate special occasions.
I would have to say our Wedding Reception qualified as such.

Rick pours champagne for Sharon and Betty

Champagne Mara

As it turned out, Mara doesn't drink much herself.  However, she seemed to have an uncanny ability to get other people quite drunk.  Call it the "Champagne Mara Effect".

Worried that there would be lots of bottles left over, Mara made the rounds time and again from one guest to the next keeping their glasses full.  Apparently the consumption levels varied dramatically from one person to another.  Some people took a couple sips.  Other people downed considerable amounts. 

Leroy Ginzel, for example, had a unique solution for the problem of one bottle for two men.  Rather than cut the bottle in two or a more civilized method like using two champagne glasses, Leroy simply drank the entire bottle himself. 

Mara's generosity paid immediate dividends.  People began to smile.  Then they began to grin.  Then they began to laugh.  Then, as show in the pictue, some of the women began to grab men.  Interesting.  Exactly what the men had hoped for. 

Gary Makes a Discovery

After the Champagne Party ended, Gary Richardson began to take pictures of people in their formal attire. 

Gary quickly realized that Mara's Magic Champagne made people more cooperative than ever before. 

People would do anything he asked them to do. 

On the left is a group of men hoping to be chosen to be grabbed by women. 

Phyllis Center of Attention cleverly joined this group and was rewarded for her efforts by being grabbed herself. 

That started the silliness. 

Now the women began a series of men-grabbing pictures. 

Here are three pictures of pitiful helpless men who were seized by women and forced to pose in pictures with them.  Look carefully, there is a man somewhere in each shot.

The men later complained that they tackled and held against their will.  Unfortunately no one believed them.

Gary Richardson said the men didn't seem to mind at all.  He didn't see any struggling whatsoever.

The Glow

The next thing Gary noticed is some of the strangest smiles he has ever seen.  For example, study carefully the pictures of Zeke from Cabin Creek and Gina Lollobridgida. 

These portraits will serve as an up-close study on the effects of alcohol on beautiful women. 

Both woman are strikingly attractive in their red dresses and black hair.  Both also appear to be under the influence. See if you can tell which Lady in Red has had the larger intake of champagne. 

Speaking of red, note the rosy cheeks on Lollo.  She is definitely a Royal Flush.  Gary named this look "The Glow".

One Final Experiment

For our final study on the effects of Champagne consumption, let's take a look at the lovely Mara and the totally wasted Leroy.

Mara as you can see is a sipper.

She sips little bitty quantities of Champagne at a time. 

As a result, she has a lovely smile reminiscent of "The Glow".

Leroy has chosen a different method of intake.  He basically hooked himself up to a hose and told someone to turn on the faucet.

As a result, he has a smile I would describe as "Just Minutes Till the Crash".

Leroy is lucky there is a wall behind him.  Otherwise I believe he would fall into the ocean.

By the way, that's an impressive collection of Champagne bottles.

Mara definitely organized a smashing event... and Leroy definitely got smashed.

Here is the proof.

Next: Chapter Eight

Mischief on the Rhapsody!