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The SSQQ April 2004 Newsletter
Written and edited monthly by Rick Archer |
Previous 2004 Newsletters |
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HEADLINES |
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APRIL DANCE CLASSES
BEGIN THE WEEK OF SUNDAY, MARCH 28TH |
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TWO
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UPCOMING DANCE
PARTIES INCLUDING "BROKE AND PENNILESS" ON SATURDAY, APRIL 10TH
AND THE INFAMOUS SLEAZY BAR WHIP PARTY ON SATURDAY, APRIL 24TH.
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THREE |
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UPDATES ON THE SSQQ
4TH OF JULY SUMMER CRUISE TO COZUMEL AND CANCUN (JULY 3 - JULY
8): PREPARE FOR A BRUTAL VOLLEYBALL MATCH PLUS PERHAPS THE
SCARIEST NIGHT IMAGINABLE! ALSO: IT'S TIME TO MAKE YOUR MOVE! |
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FOUR |
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SUSAN SCHROEDER
ANNOUNCES THE OPENING OF SUSIE Q'S QUICK STOP IN APRIL. |
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MG ANSEMAN SURVIVES A
SERIOUS MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT. |
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SHARON CRAWFORD WORKS
HER WESTERN WALTZ MAGIC AGAIN.
PS - IT ISN'T TOO LATE TO JOIN HER BEGINNING CLASS THIS WEEK! |
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SEVEN |
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BALLROOM DANCER
EXCHANGE STUDENT FROM GERMANY SEEKS HOME IN HOUSTON FOR ONE YEAR |
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EIGHT |
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BLACKMAIL,
PASSION AND VANITY: THE STORY
OF THE 2004 SSQQ MARDI GRAS TRIP! |
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NINE |
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INCREDIBLE DANGER
AWAITS ANY PARTICIPANT IN THIS SUMMER'S SSQQ CRUISE TRIP - TOM
EASLEY WILL BE JOINING US! BRING SEVERAL PAIRS OF SUNGLASSES
OR RISK SERIOUS EYE DAMAGE! |
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TEN |
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THE SSQQ MOVIE REVIEW: DIRTY DANCING 'HAVANA NIGHTS'
- SAMANTHA ARCHER |
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ELEVEN |
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SSQQ STAFF UPDATES
FOR MARCH/APRIL 2004 |
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TWELVE |
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THIRTEEN |
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FOURTEEN |
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FIFTEEN |
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START OF THE HEADLINE STORIES SECTION |
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THE APRIL
SCHEDULE OF CLASSES
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/schedule.htm |
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE APRIL 2004 SCHEDULE
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/extra.htm |
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The April Dance Semester begins the week
of Sunday, March 28th
Don't forget you are perfectly welcome to start classes in the
Second Week of the April Dance Semester!!
HERE ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS OF THE APRIL 2004 SCHEDULE
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/extra.htm
Gloria Sanchez will teach SUPER ADVANCED LINDY on Sundays at 4:30 pm
on Sunday. You can't expect to see another 4th level Lindy class
come around again soon, so if you are a big fan of Lindy, come join!
Last week's class had a dozen people sign up.
In February, for the first time we offered a Ballroom class on 2
different nights. Dancing in the Moonlight was very successful with
over 70 people. The Intermediate level had another 30 people enroll
in March. This month ADVANCED DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT will be
offered on Mondays. It marks the first Advanced-level Ballroom class
SSQQ has offered in several years. Taught by Judy Archer, expect
many highy-intricate Waltz, Rumba, and Foxtrot patterns. The first
week saw 14 people register for this class.
Mondays brings BEGINNING TANGO to the forefront. Taught by Rick
Archer and Bethany Daniels, last week 25 people danced stealthily in
the dark to eerie Tango songs such as "Jealousy", "Ecstasy", and
"Midnight Passion". Yes, this is Dancing we are talking about. With
a perfectly even boy-girl ratio and a high level of talent in the
class, we covered quite a bit of ground. We can take a few more
people in Week Two as well!
The most-talked about Western class of 2000, 2001, 2002, and 2003
was the annual five-month WESTERN WALTZ SUPERCLASS cycle taught by
Sharon Crawford and her partner John Jones. Starting with BEGINNING
WESTERN WALTZ in April, Sharon will take her class thru Int, Adv,
Super-Adv, and Super-Duper Adv each following month. If you stay for
the entire 5-month program, you can expect to join the ranks of the
finest Western Waltz dancers in the entire city. For each of the
last four years, the first level has seen attendance bordering on
100 students. Indications are that this year will be no exception.
Don't miss it!!
MARTIAN WHIP is an accelerated Whip and West Coast Swing class
taught on two different nights at SSQQ. Rick Archer & Bethany
Daniels teach the Thursday Night class. Then in a class known as
MARTIAN XTRA on Friday evenings, Houston City Swing Dance Champion
Bryan Spivey and his partner Lisa Palmer cover the latest
developments on the Houston dance scene. The classes are completely
separate, which mean if you miss Thursday, you can come instead on
Friday and not have to worry about being behind. In other words,
there is no overlap between the two nights. On the other hand, you
only have to pay one price to get the second class for free by
registering on either night. SSQQ is the only dance program in
Houston that still includes Whip in its basic format. Although we
agree West Coast Swing is the main dance system, there are aspects
of Whip that blend perfectly with West Coast. The two Martian Whip
classes show how to interweave the two dances together to create a
sharp effect.
DEATH VALLEY will be taught for one more month in April on Fridays
and then will take a break for a while. Brian White brought back
this challenging Death Valley series on Fridays in March and
continues the program in April. Advanced Western dancers have
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SATURDAY NIGHT
PARTIES IN APRIL
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/calendar.htm |
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BROKE AND PENNILESS SWING PARTY
SATURDAY, APRIL 10TH
9:15 pm - Midnight,
$8 Person ($7 IF YOU LOOK POOR - NO DISCOUNTS IF YOU LOOK NICE.)
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party07.htm
7-9 PM CRASH COURSES AT A GLANCE
SALSA DIPS AND LUNGES I - - Martin and Judy
ARGENTINE TANGO - Don Fox
BACHATA - Linda
ADV JITTERBUG PATTERNS - Maureen
BEG LINDY HOP - Gloria
Swing Music in Room 1, Ballroom or Salsa Music in Room 4, Ballroom
or Salsa in Room 6.
……………………..
THE SSQQ SLEAZY BAR WHIP PARTY
Saturday, April 24
9:15 pm - Midnight
Cover charge $7
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party08.htm
CRASH COURSES 7-9 pm
BEG C&W: TEXAS TWOSTEP - Melissa
INT TWOSTEP: CIRCLE TURNS - Linda
BEG WESTERN WALTZ - Jill
NEW GHOST TOWN PATTERNS - Scott Ladell
EAZY SLEAZY WHIP - Rick
BEG WEST COAST SWING - Charlene
DISGUSTING SLEAZY BAR MOVES- Ben cpls only
WEAR RED AND BLACK OR WATCH YOUR BACK.
CHECK YOUR GUNS AND KNIVES AT THE DOOR; LEAVE YOUR MORALS AT HOME...
Music Whip in Room 1, Western and Waltz in Room 4, Swing in Room 6
plus requests. |
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UPDATES ON THE SSQQ 4TH OF
JULY CRUISE TO COZUMEL AND CANCUN:
IT'S TIME TO GET OFF THE FENCE AND GET
THE PARTY STARTED! |
Marla Gorzynski |
| marla@ssqq.com |
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SSQQ has scheduled a 5-day Cruise on Carnival's
'Celebration', which sails out of Galveston on July 3rd and returns
on July 8th. This is a Perfect Summer Getaway!
First of all, let's review why this trip will be great:
1. The SSQQ Welcome Back Party on Day 1.
2. SSQQ Dancing at Sea workshops on Day 2.
3. The Captain's Reception Big Band Swing Dance in front of 500
people.
4. The July 4th Bash
5. Snorkeling at Cozumel's Chankanaab
6. Rick Archer and Tom Easley's Beach Volleyball Challenge. Who can
beat us?
7. Snorkeling at Cancun's Xcaret Water Park.
8. SSQQ Dancing at Sea workshops on Day 5 and poolside fun on the
trip back
9. Evening Shows and Group Dancing afterwards each night.
10. The Wicked Ever-present Danger of SSQQ Slow Dance and Romance!
NOW IS THE TIME TO STOP THE
COMPLAINING, GET OFF THE FENCE AND JOIN US!!
Marla and I have encountered a bizarre swirl of negative energy
surrounding this summer's July 4th Trip. We have received an
all-time record number of complaints.
The majority of the complaints are about the cost of the trip. For
starters, let's deal directly with the negative energy.
QUESTION: WHY IS THIS TRIP SO EXPENSIVE? I HAVE SEEN IN THE PAPER
THAT I CAN SAIL FOR $299 ON CARNIVAL. WHY SHOULD I PAY $689 FOR THIS
CRUISE ON THE SAME SHIP?
Answer: The $299 price applies to the April 10th sailing only.
Practically no one under 60 cruises in April, so they have plenty of
space to fill.
The next best price is at the very end of summer when the price
drops back down to $349. We need to add this price is for the very
bottom of the ship. When you hear the phrase "Rock Bottom" Price, in
this case it means you will sleep in bunk beds on the BOTTOM LEVEL
of the ship and you will ROCK a lot as you sleep at water level.
Furthermore these prices do not include taxes.
Summer time is peak season for cruises. There are no cheap fares in
the summer. If we were to take this identical cruise one week later,
the price is the same. The price does not drop significantly until
August 14 when it goes to $499 and then $349 on August 23. Like
skiing at Christmas time, you have no choice but to pay higher
prices during the peak season. Summertime cruises are expensive, but
they are worth it when you realize that meals and entertainment are
included in the price.
QUESTION: WHY CAN'T WE GO ON THE RHAPSODY?
It is true that Royal Caribbean's Galveston-based Rhapsody is a
superior ship to Carnival's Celebration. But Rhapsody's price tag
would be prohibitive for many people. People are already driving us
nuts by complaining about Carnival's $700 price tag for this trip.
What would they say if we pointed out that the Rhapsody's prices are
$250 to $300 more expensive?
And please be reminded that the majority of the fun is generated by
the SSQQ Group. We create our own fun whether it is Carnival or
Royal Caribbean.
QUESTION: WHY IS THIS YEAR'S TRIP SO MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE THAN LAST
YEAR?
Answer: There is a ridiculous rumor that this trip is more expensive
than last year. Yes, this trip is more expensive for the simple
reason that we are out at sea ONE EXTRA DAY AND NIGHT!
Do the math yourself: Last's year's FOUR NIGHT cruise was priced at
$559 inside cabin, $609 outside cabin. This year's FIVE NIGHT cruise
is $689 inside cabin, $746 outside cabin. The RATE PER DAY last year
was $140 inside cabin, this year the RATE PER DAY is $138. The RATE
PER DAY last year was $152 outside cabin, this year the RATE PER DAY
is $149.
In other words, the relative price is the same. Last year's trip got
Cozumel. This year's trip gets Cozumel AND Cancun.
QUESTION: IF THE PRICE IS CHEAPER AT OTHER TIMES, WHY SHOULD I GO ON
THE SSQQ JULY 4TH TRIP?
Answer: You should go on July 4th because that is when the SSQQ
group is going!!
Are you crazy? There is NO WAY you will ever have as much fun on a
cruise without our Group Madness to keep you company!
IT'S A WONDERFUL CRUISE!!
Let's play a game called "It's a Wonderful Cruise".
In this game, it is your job to pretend you are the Jimmy Stewart
character and you are busy feeling sorry for yourself because YOU
ARE ABOUT TO MISS THE BOAT!
You are in a bad mood because maybe you aren't as rich this year as
you were at the same time last year. Since you are in a crummy
humbug kind of mood ("I'm Soooo Poor!"), you are thinking the
unthinkable by contemplating skipping this summer's SSQQ cruise.
This means you will miss a great vacation with your friends!
THINK WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DIDN'T GO WITH US BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE
CHEAPER SOME OTHER TIME…
You wouldn't have SSQQ dance workshops during the day.
You wouldn't have the SSQQ group to dance with in the wee hours of
the morning.
You wouldn't be part of the SSQQ Swing Dancers when we perform to
the wild applause of 500 people at the Captain's Big Band Dance
Reception!
You wouldn't be part of the SSQQ Chankanaab Beach Volleyball
Tournament.
You wouldn't snorkel in any underground caves at Cancun's Xcaret
Park!
You wouldn't get to read about your adventures or your group's
adventures in our stories.
You wouldn't get to gaze at your beautiful pictures on the SSQQ
website forever.
You wouldn't get the chance to be blackmailed by me for any trouble
you get into. Plus you wouldn't have anyone in our group to tempt
you to get into trouble.
Your chances of falling in love would virtually disappear because
you wouldn't be with our incredibly romantic group. Let's review the
SSQQ Cruise Slow Dance and Romance Record:
In 2001 I met Marla on the SSQQ Summer Cruise. She and I fell in
love aboard the very same ship we are sailing on this summer and
have never been apart since.
In 2002 three couples met Cupid's arrows. Carol Armand and Arthur
Madrid are married now. Chuck Morton and Brenda Uffmann are married
now. And Marian Schoppe met her future husband on the same cruise.
Marian just announced her engagement!
In 2003 Anne Marchetti and Dennis Pechal fell in love during the
cruise. They are engaged now. For that matter, so are Linda Malin
and Bill Holden. And from the same cruise, Ann Keyes and Jerry Grimm
are now married.
And if your dream was to bypass romance and simply fool around, you
definitely wouldn't be able to do that either if you don't go.
You would miss having fun with your friends and you wouldn't get to
meet any new friends.
You would kick yourself after we came back once you discovered how
much fun we had EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T COME WITH US…
If you didn't go with us, you would miss out on a lot of fun!
And saddest of all, we wouldn't have as much fun without you!
QUESTION: WHY HAVEN'T 150 PEOPLE SIGNED UP FOR YOUR TRIP LIKE THEY
DID LAST YEAR?
Now that's a good question. The superficial answer is that money is
tighter in Houston than it was last summer. There is nothing we can
do about that. If the money isn't there, it isn't there.
But the deeper answer is there are plenty of people who have said
they would like to go, but can't make up their mind because no one
else is going. This is the real problem. Money is always a concern
no matter what year it is. This year the problem seems to be that no
one wants to go because all the fence sitters are still sitting.
Everyone has seen the success of our previous cruises and now they
can't understand why more people haven't signed up yet. It doesn't
make any sense. Okay, I agree, it doesn't make any sense. But if you
think about it, the only thing missing is the perception that this
trip will be fun!
It is just like a party. Someone has to start causing mischief or
else there won't be any mischief. If you want more people on the
trip, sign up. It won't cost you anything in case you change your
mind. Someone has to get the Ball Rolling!!
If you sign up today, you have till May 2nd to get your money
refunded completely. In the meantime, by signaling your interest,
you can get some of the "UNDECIDEDS" to make their move as well. /
And what if everyone decides to stay home? Too bad, you guys will
miss a great trip.
Don't worry about me. Guess what? The Mardi Gras Cruise proved to me
we can have just as much fun with a small group as with a big group.
If anything, I got to know more people on a personal level during
the Mardi Gras trip than I ever did with the larger groups. The
group had a marvelous time! Furthermore I have more fun every time I
take a cruise.
I am really looking forward to this year's trip a lot!!
For starters, I have my fiancée Marla and my daughter Samantha
coming along. How can I beat that?
Second, I have my friend Tom Easley plus his beautiful wife Margaret
and his children Tommy, and Ashley coming along. Tom Easley is the
single funniest guy I know. I can't wait to watch him put every
person on the trip in stitches with his stories.
Furthermore, Tom is an awesome volleyball player. Get two more
athletes and we can have two-on-two volleyball all day long at
Cozumel's Chankanaab Beach. If others want to play volleyball with
us, hey, join the fun!! I love sports and I am going to have a good
time!
Third, I fully intend to go crazy and have another Tom Easley Look A
Like Night. You will have to read the story to understand. I cannot
wait to see Marla dressed as Tom Easley.
Fourth, I finally get to visit Xcaret, an amazing eco-archaelogical
water park where you can snorkel in underground caverns. I hear this
park is fabulous; finally I get to see it for myself!
Fifth, there are some great people who are signed up besides Tom and
Margaret that I can have a blast with every day of the trip!
We have taken 330 people sailing over the past three summers. (2001:
101, 2002: 86, 2003: 144). If this summer only has 20 people, I am
going to have fun. I am going to have FUN whether we have 50 or 500
people.
That said, there's plenty of room for more. Join our trip today.
Put your $250 deposit down now. You have till May 2nd to get it all
back if you decide to change your mind.
Call Marla Gorzynski at 713 862 4428 or email her at
Marla@ssqq.com
Her fax number is 713 862 2550.
More information about this year's trip:
http://ssqq.com/information/celebration2004promo.htm
Registration form:
http://ssqq.com/information/celebration2004registration.htm
You definitely should read the story about last year's
Summer trip:
http://ssqq.com/information/jubilee2003storyoftrip.htm
In addition, you will enjoy the great pictures that Gary Richardson
took of last year's trip.
http://ssqq.com/information/jubileepics01.htm
And you will not believe the things that happened on the Mardi Gras
Trip!! Definitely check out the pictures and misadventures from our
latest cruise, the 2004 Mardi Gras Trip:
http://ssqq.com/information/mardigras2004home.htm
See who is Already Signed Up for this year's trip:
http://ssqq.com/information/celebrationpassengers.htm
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THE QUICK
STOP HAS ARRIVED!
BEWARE THE DANGER OF THE DAVID... |
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Susan Schroeder (aka Susie Q) new store opened this past week at the
studio. I immediately discovered my daughter Samantha was their
biggest customer with Twix wrappers decorating the studio office
where she does homework. Hmm.
The Q Stop is located in the closet area where the water fountain
used to be. It brings you convenience of a mini-mart under the SSQQ
roof.
I have been told that sales of bottled water have been brisk. Amen.
Bottled water has been the single most requested item at the studio
for years. Thank goodness that problem is finally put to rest!!
It has been very amusing watching Susan's debonair husband David,
also known as Mr. Susan, sit in the closet. On the first night he
wore the expression of a caged animal as he got used to the confined
spaces of the "Closet". The second night he looked more like a
neglected puppy. However David quickly adapted. Since then he has
dropped his passive 'polite behavior' and begun to develop more
aggressive ways attract business as it goes by.
Now for some reason, someone always stops to talk to David. I even
saw one person pat him on the head. How sweet. It was sort of a
'look at that puppy in the window' reaction. Then I noticed
practically everyone was stopping to talk to David. Curious to know
how David went so quickly from "totally ignored" to "terribly
popular", I observed him in action the other night.
David has quickly developed a Killer sales technique known as "The
Stick and the Shtick". The little hallway going from our entrance
Room 6 to main body of the studio is so narrow that David has
discovered how easy it is to poke people who fail to pay attention
to him with his "Attention Stick". That's right, he pokes people who
ignore him with a stick as they walk past. Quickly people learned to
look at him automatically in self-defense. Did I mention his
favorite new movie is "Walking Tall"? Once you pay attention to him
- a mandatory exercise to avoid the Big Stick - then you get the
most amazingly clever sales pitch, also known as the "Big Shtick".
David is Yiddish in case you didn't know. Or Amish. Or Republican. I
can't remember. His favorite motto is "Speak Softly and Swing a Big
Shtick". Oy vey.
Items on the menu vary, but a cursory glance reveals fresh fruit
side by side with chips, cookies, and candy bars. In the
refrigerator I have spotted lots of bottled water and a variety of
chilled beverages such as Welch's apple, grape, and orange-pineapple
juice, V8, Fruit2O no-cal flavored spring water and Red Bull.
There are plenty of snacks too-including fresh fruit, nuts, and
granola bars for the healthy diet conscious, and plenty of candy
bars and cookies to satisfy those with a sweet tooth.
I am sure it is just a matter of time before pizzas, coffee, and ice
cream hit the menu as well.
Did you know that Susan did all the remodeling work? Any of you with
a memory of that dirty, ugly former closet will be amazed at the
beauty of this area. From judging from how attractive the Q-Stop
Closet looks, I think Susan could easily make a small fortune as a
carpenter or judging from the tasteful décor, perhaps a home
decorator as well. Where do you find women like this?
Susan reminded me to mention she is ready to stock anything within
reason. Please send your ideas and orders to
susan@ssqq.com
I would to take a moment and say it is not true that Susan rents out
sweaters to help people with the arctic conditions at our studio. At
least not yet anyway.
On the other hand, you can purchase aspirin in abundance the next
time you get a headache listening to my poor jokes. I promised Susan
I would allow my bad sense of humor to run unchecked for the next
couple weeks to help students developed a drug habit.
So the next time you visit the studio and have a sweet tooth, a
thirst or a headache, be sure to check out the Q-Stop. Don't forget
to pat David on the head for good luck. He doesn't bite!!
Oops, let me rethink that. He won't bite if you remember to pat him
on the head!!
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MG ANSEMAN SURVIVES A SERIOUS MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT |
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Around midnight on Friday, March 19, SSQQ Instructor MG Anseman
suffered a serious motorcycle accident near Gonzalez, Louisiana
(just south of Baton Rouge). A native of Louisiana, MG had just
finished visiting his mother and was heading back to New Orleans to
spend the evening with his son. Yes, he survived. No, he is not
paralyzed. Yes, his pretty face was skinned up a little bit.
MG was driving at high speed around a highway curve when suddenly
the bike hit a rock. The motorcycle fish-tailed out of control
making huge S-swerves. MG was unable to hit the brakes as long as
the bike was swerving so he rode the bike helplessly as it kept
heading towards the edge of the road. MG told me the idea is to
"Look Where You Want to Go" and the bike will likely head there.
Unfortunately human nature dictated he look for danger. So he
"Looked" hard at the one place where he DID NOT want go and sure
enough that's where the bike headed.
After a frightening 150-foot career towards disaster, the bike
finished its uncontrollable skid by flying right over the edge of an
8-foot ditch on the side of the road. Helpless to control the bike's
path, MG was thrown clear of the bike and landed left shoulder first
on a gravel surface, smashing the left side of his face and neck as
well. Ouch!!
After landing hard on his left shoulder, MG sustained 4 fractured
vertebrae - 2 in his lower neck and 2 about shoulder blade level. In
order words, he broke his neck!! But he is not paralyzed. His only
worry is numbness in his left hand. He can move his arm and hand and
he can feel pressure, but has lost any sensitivity in the
fingertips. He is in a neck brace as a precaution against the danger
of moving his neck and making things much worse. He also suffered a
bruised lung, but that has begun to heal nicely and is no longer a
concern.
Although MG will hurt me for revealing that he wasn't wearing a
helmet, hopefully I will still be able to move faster for the next
few months until his anger cools off! Without the protection of the
helmet, he skinned his face up pretty badly and sustained a bad cut
over his eye.
Getting thrown off a bike flying nearly full-speed over a cliff-like
edge sounds like a pretty dangerous accident to me. Although I think
we will all agree he was hurt badly, in some ways it could have been
a lot worse. MG pointed out that six more feet and he would have hit
a tree and been dead. One more inch on his face and he could have
lost an eye. And his neck brace is a constant reminder that he
narrowly missed being paralyzed.
Let's face, MG is lucky to be alive. Did I mention the bike hit the
ground so hard it made a two-foot deep hole for itself?!?
Once MG realized he was still alive, his next thought was how to get
himself out of this mess. After all he was stuck out of sight at the
bottom of an 8-foot deep gully. MG got up out of the mud and walked
several feet over to the bike to search for his cell phone.
Unfortunately it was stuck inside his jacket inside the motorcycle
saddlebag and he could get his hand on it, but was too weak to pull
it free. Then he lost strength and had no choice to but to lay down.
Motionless, totally alone in the dark, he wondered if he was ever
going to get out of this mess before an alligator came along and ate
him for dinner. Any of you who followed the recent Houston story of
the man who lay helplessly paralyzed out of sight behind a concrete
freeway barrier for 36 hours after a rear-end car collision will
realize MG was in just as bad a predicament - No one could possibly
see him, he thought!
Fortunately the motorcycle landed at an angle that left its lights
flashing up into the sky like a lighthouse sending off a powerful
beam. Soon a car stopped to investigate.
As MG lay there, he heard a man call back, "I see the motorcycle,
but there's no one there! I guess he walked off and hitched a ride!"
MG's eyes bulged at that statement and he started bellowing as loud
as he could for help! At that, his rescuers found him and stayed
with him until an ambulance could get there. MG stayed conscious the
whole time and even had enough strength to protest when the EMT guys
started to cut his beloved $500 motorcycle jacket off with scissors.
Apparently they could not risk turning MG over due to his injuries,
but it didn't make him feel any better. Normally he would have
kicked their butts, but not this time. Oh well.
When I talked to him on the phone Sunday morning at the Baton Rouge
hospital, MG was in process of having the nurses wash mud and gravel
out of hair plus a frog or two. They had been running tests on him
all day long on Saturday and hadn't had the chance to completely
clean him up. His voice was pretty shaky, but he was able to talk.
Bless his heart, MG spent half the conversation apologizing for not
being able to teach class that night.
He was hospitalized in Baton Rouge for two days and change. He came
back to Houston on Monday. At that time he was in serious pain and
unable to sleep. He and his wife Gay were trying to arrange to see a
doctor here in Houston, so I decided to simply welcome him and leave
it at that.
On Wednesday, March 31, I called again. Things were much better! He
had been able to see a spine doctor on Monday. The lady did some
more MRIs on him and proscribed pain medication that helped
immensely. MG was able to sleep the night both nights since I talked
to him on Monday and felt so much better. May I say he actually
sounded cheerful?
The two of us counted his many problems and his many blessings. He
pointed out he was worried about his mother who is not in good
health and worried about his business that he cannot give his full
attention to. Among his blessings he mentioned his wife Gay who is
busy taking great care of him, his narrow escape from more serious
injuries and the dramatic reduction in pain. He said he could not
wait to get back to the studio. I said to take his time, but he says
he misses his friends and he misses dancing. Sounds like the road to
recovery to me.
MG says he has ridden his last motorcycle. This is the second
serious accident he has been in and says he doesn't want to find out
if the third time is the charm. I hope he sticks to his decision.
And thank goodness he survived!! Now we can tease him about that
helmet for a long time!
MG says please NO FLOWERS! Now I know that he fears flowers worse
than Superman fears Kryptonite. He adds that he welcomes cards and
phone calls. If you want to say hi, call MG at home 281-980-6245. If
you want to send a card,
MG Anseman
3110 Pecan Ridge
Sugarland, Texas 77479
If you decide to send flowers, do it like I did and send them
anonymously. After all, he will be walking again soon.
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SHARON CRAWFORD WORKS HER
WESTERN WALTZ MAGIC AGAIN!! |
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For the past four years, Sharon Crawford's Western Waltz program has
been without question the single most popular course at SSQQ.
Believe it or not, the Beginning level of Sharon's Western Waltz
class has AVERAGED 100 STUDENTS!! Incredible.
There are several reasons for Sharon's success.
First of all, Sharon and her partner John Jones teach 5 consecutive
months of Western Waltz. That's right: Five months. After April's
Beginner level, you have the Intermediate level in May, Advanced in
June, Super-Advanced in July, and Super-Duper Advanced in August.
For the past four years, anyone who completes the five-month cycle
becomes a truly exceptional Waltz dancer.
Second, Sharon Crawford has reached a near-mythical cult status as a
great teacher. Although she is very humble about her ability, Sharon
is not only a goddess to watch on the dance floor, she also breaks
down the steps very well. In addition she offers the women some
excellent tips on styling and following.
Third, with that many people in the class, you are guaranteed plenty
of people to practice with after class. Sharon's WW students love to
stay for Practice Night and Waltz the night away. It is a very
impressive sight to even one couple demonstrating their knowledge of
advanced Waltz patterns, but in this case you might see up to twenty
couples with the same ability all at once!
Fourth, it becomes the social event of the season. This class is so
popular it gives you a chance to hang out with some really great
dancers and very nice people each week. Plus the Western Waltz is
SOOO Romantic! Also known as the Western dance of Romance, Waltz is
a uniquely flowing, graceful dance. Like Swans, Roses, and Gems, the
Waltz is another symbol of Grace and Beauty in our culture. As two
people dance beautifully together in each other's arms, Cupid has a
field day with easy targets all over the floor for his flaming darts
of passion. Even the most bitter, hard-hearted victims of love begin
to soften up and amaze themselves by considering another stab at
romance with the pretty Waltz music to cheer them on.
And who knows, maybe Sharon and John will even offer yet a Sixth
level this year if you ask them nicely enough. By the way, don't be
put off if Sharon says 'no' to the idea of Level 6 the first ten
times you ask. She prefers to automatically say no and think about
it hours on end in the middle of the night. Eventually she might say
'yes' just to get some sleep.
This year the numbers are down a little bit. Sharon's first night
had 'only' 75 students, still a preposterous number in its own
right. However many people did not even know about the class because
the Newsletter was late getting out. Anyone who wishes to join in
the second week is welcome. By the way, the first week of class had
a nearly perfect balance of men and women.
Don't be surprised if there is little drop-off in attendance in the
second month because quite a few people are planning to "join in
progress". At this point there are many "graduates" of Sharon and
John's Waltz program who have forgotten practically everything. Many
of these people like to sign up as a repeat starting in the second
or third month to review the patterns. Plus they enjoy Sharon's
class so much that they sign up just to enjoy the dancing and for
the chance to see their friends again.
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BALLROOM DANCER EXCHANGE STUDENT
FROM GERMANY SEEKS HOME IN HOUSTON FOR ONE YEAR |
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On Friday, April 2, I received a phone call from David Godwin
representing the Center for Cultural Exchange. He had a request from
a 16-year-old German high school student named Johannes Benno asking
to be placed in a home in the Houston area. What made him a little
trickier to place was his request to be put in a home that would
give him a chance to pursue his hobby of ballroom dancing. That is
why the agency contacted me. They thought maybe I would know
someone.
I immediately thought of tricking the agency, forcing the young man
to teach classes for free in exchange for letting him sleep on the
couch at the studio, and feeding him the leftover stale popcorn. I
changed my mind when I figured one of you would rat on me. And I
know you would!
Instead, I will tell you a little about the program and see if any
of you out there might be interested. Johannes will spend a school
year here in Houston. Wherever you live, he will go to the nearest
local high school.
As far as his interest in dancing, you are welcome to let the young
man have the run of the studio any night of the week. Johannes would
likely end up as the best German Twostepper in the world.
The representative told me something interesting - they will place a
boy in a one-parent home with either a man or a woman. In other
words, you don't have to have a traditional Mom and Pop home anymore
to be considered. Some of you empty nesters out there might be
willing to allow Johannes to borrow Junior's unused bedroom for a
year. Personally, I was pretty tempted to volunteer myself. The
young man seems like a very bright kid and full of life.
Here is the brief email letter from the agency representative David
Godwin about Johannes:
Fri 04/02/2004 12:23 PM
"Hi Rick
It was nice talking to you. Thanks for the information on ballroom
dancing. It was very helpful in my understanding of it.
I am attaching the bio on Johannes. He will have his own spending
money and insurance. He will attend the local high school. The host
family will provide him with room and board. They would treat him
like a family member and should be assigned household chores.
If for some reason the match does not work, we will replace him to
another home. He will be assigned a local CCI representative to
assist him and the family in resolving any problems that might
occur. In my experience with hosting, there have been very few
problems. The kids are so glad to be able to come to the USA to
study.
Let me know if you have further questions.
Thanks.
David Godwin"
713-880-4142 home
713-767-3453 work
713-301-7276 cell
dgodwin977@aol.com
To read about the Exchange Program, click here:
http://cci-exchange.com
To read about Johannes Benno, click here:
http://cci-exchange.com/aypdatabase/BioDetailRecord.asp?ps=9fq1cz
To read his letter requesting to be an exchange student, click here:
http://cci-exchange.com/aypdatabase/BioDearFamilyLetter.asp?ps=9fq1cz
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BLACKMAIL, PASSION, AND
VANITY: THE STORY OF THE 2004 SSQQ MARDI GRAS TRIP!
http://ssqq.com/information/mardigras2004home.htm |
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This past February saw 39 Brave SSQQ Cruisers dare to walk down the
wicked streets of Mardi Gras straight into the center of New
Orleans, the infamous City of Sin!
Huge crowds, amazing Parades, pulsating Bands, Bead Tosses, Drinking
to Excess, as well as an unimaginable supply of nayked brests
awaited us. Yes, all the terrible things they say about Mardi Gras
turned out to be true. Even worse, we had a lot of fun! Yes, the
decadence of Mardi Gras rubbed off on us and we thoroughly enjoyed
being corrupted.
We were even stupid enough to take pictures of our follies and
chronicle our adventures as well. Our reputations will be ruined
forever.
Along the way you will read about why our ship was forced to dock
100 miles from Mardi Gras, how an obstinate SSQQ woman ignored my
pathetic blackmail threat (and paid for it by having the entire
sordid story printed), how we were surrounded at all times by
nayked
and painted brests everywhere the eye see (with pictures to prove
that the men did everything possible to make sure no nayked brest
got ignored!), how a beautiful woman from our fell deeply in love
with a major celebrity on board, and how a handsome dashing member
of our group had way too much fun… and paid for it with a vicious
attack on his ego!
http://ssqq.com/information/mardigras2004home.htm |
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AN EMERGENCY WARNING - TOM EASLEY WILL
BE JOINING US ON THE SSQQ FOURTH OF JULY CRUISE.
DO NOT COME ON BOARD WITHOUT YOUR SUNGLASSES NEAR YOU AT ALL TIMES!!
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This is an emergency warning. Tom Easley and his family are coming
on the SSQQ Summer Cruise this year. Do not fear his family - they
are wonderful, normal and in fact should be largely credited with
holding Tom in check these past 18 years.
It is only Tom Easley that you have to fear. Like the Hulk, I fear
his inner demon may be poised to return at any time. It has been too
long since… well, read on.
Tom Easley is one of my best friends, a fact that I am somewhat
embarrassed to admit. Back in the mid 1980s along with his usual
partner in crime Mike Fagan, Tom Easley was the source of a great
deal of pain and embarrassment for their SSQQ friends.
You will soon discover that at one time there was no more hideously
dressed human being on the planet than Tom Easley. Do you know how
you automatically shield your eyes from the glare of the Sun? For an
entire year the clothes Tom wore hurt eyeballs across Houston in
much the same way. In 1986, Tom Easley caused beautiful women
throughout Houston to shield their eyes from the pain. Now that I
think of it, I recall most men recoiling in terror at his ugliness
as well. So did small children, dogs, cats, and hamsters. Medusa,
Cyclops or the Gorgon Monster could not have been any scarier than
Tom Easley.
Nor could the Phantom of the Opera or the Elephant Man have walked
into a restaurant and drawn more gasps of fear than Tom did on a
regular basis. The usual words to describe Tom's clothing varied
between "grotesque, bizarre, shocking, blinding, ghastly, gruesome,
and monstrous". Speaking of Monstrous, it was a well-known fact that
Godzilla could dress better than Tom.
Furthermore Zombies from the "Night of the Living Dead" could not
have frightened gentle, civilized people any more than Tom's garish
outfits. You don't believe me, do you? Once you read the story of
Tom Easley, there won't be one shred of doubt in your mind that at a
difficult point in his life, Tom's hideous clothing wreaked havoc
throughout the city.
Today Tom masquerades on a daily basis as a respectable bastion of
decency. But I think it is just a disguise. I know Tom's earlier
reputation all too well and think it is all an act. Just one little
setback and the Real Tom could reemerge at any time.
Although today Tom dresses very nicely and has started to look
almost handsome at times, I also know that he has never apologized
for what he once did to us. And therein lies the rub - Since Tom
still doesn't understand what he did was wrong and has never sought
help, the potential exists that just one serious psychic jolt could
bring the Monster in Tom back to life.
The reason I feel compelled to bring this story to your attention is
that Tom Easley is coming with us on the 2004 SSQQ Summer Cruise. I
bring you this message as a public service. Since Tom has a known
past as a threat to public standards of fashion decency, it is only
fair to warn all of our fellow passengers that they are at serious
risk of eye pain and embarrassment. Now at least all of you will
know how serious the threat is and be prepared to can make your own
choices.
Furthermore - this hurts me to confess - Tom once had me under his
influence. Yes, at one point in my life, Tom's fashion deviancy
rubbed off on me and like an idiot, I appeared in public looking
just as awful as he did. Now lately I have felt stirrings of another
fashion eruption stirring not only in Tom's mind, but my own inner
psyche as well. Like any volcano about to explode, there are seismic
warnings that would be foolish to ignore. In other words, if he
goes, I go.
And yes, in conversations with Tom plus in my own nightmares, I have
felt warnings that at some point on the upcoming cruise trip there
will be a night where all hell breaks loose. That Caribbean Black
Magic could be more than we could take. We could break loose this
summer and resurrect our mutual madness.
Yes, it is true, on this summer's cruise there is the terrible
potential for "The Return of the Infamous Tom Easley Look a Like
Night", a night more frightening than all the SSQQ Halloween Parties
in history all lumped together. This could be the night when Terror
is only the Beginning.
You must read this story for your own safety. Otherwise I cannot be
held responsible if you walk straight into a ghastly Fourth of July
Apparel Peril. Remember, I am serious. Do not neglect this warning!
http://ssqq.com/information/advent11.htm |
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THE SSQQ MOVIE
REVIEW:
DIRTY DANCING 'HAVANA NIGHTS'
WRITTEN BY SAMANTHA ARCHER |
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If romance and dancing is your thing, you might want to invest your
time in seeing Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Set in 1958 in Havana,
Cuba (it was filmed in Puerto Rico), this movie is all about the
passion of dancing, with a huge romantic twist.
Katey Miller is a studious, quiet girl who has just been moved to
Havana with her mother, father, and sister. Her family is a part of
the upper-class of Havana, which also means Katey is expected to
date within this 'upper-class' barrier. But when she discovers
Javier Suarez (Diego Luna), who happens to be a waiter from her
hotel, she simply cannot stop herself from letting her family's
dancing background take over.
Together, Javier and Katey hatch the plan of entering a latin
ballroom dance contest at The Palace, a snazzy big band ballroom.
All Katey wants to do is have fun, and help Javier with his terrible
financial situation by winning the grand prize of $5,000 and a trip
to America. So they practice day and night long in her hotel's
ballroom, growing closer together spiritually, though you have to
face it: these two cannot dance together, yet.
Javier is just too free-spirited, and Katey is all about rules and
form.
So, drum roll please! It's the moment you all have been waiting for:
Patrick Swayze!
Yes, from all of those rumors you've been hearing, it's true:
Patrick Swayze plays the part of a dance instructor at Katey's
hotel, who helps Katey lose her sense of formality and loosen up.
And I'd have to say, even though I still haven't seen the original
Dirty Dancing, Mr. Swayze is the best dancer in the movie.
Katey and Javier finally begin to click, moving as one and
compromising with each other to come up with the best routine
possible. But I can't spoil the rest movie for you, can I?
Well, I can say one thing:
This movie makes you want to get up and DANCE in the aisles! The
soundtrack is one of the best I have ever heard. Right after the
first time I saw this thing, all I wanted to do was go out and buy
that soundtrack! From Santana to Black Eyed Peas, it has it all. Now
some can complain that the music is too contemporary for the movie,
but I do beg to differ. I loved that edge the music put to it.
I know what you all are wondering: Is this movie really worth
seeing? The answer is yes! I wish I could compare more to the
original movie, but I really can't. All I can say is this movie has
the top three things I look for in a movie:
1. Good music
2. Reasonable plot
3. And… a lot of romance.
Also, the pluses for all you dancing fanatics is:
1. Patrick Swayze
2. Great dancing routines And I can assure you that after people
read this review and see the movie (even though it is unfortunately
out of theaters but not on DVD) you'll be hearing the sounds of
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights pounding through the studio's boom
boxes.
(Editors Note: Patrick Swayze stole the show in a two-scene cameo
performance!!) |
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SSQQ STAFF UPDATES FOR
MARCH/APRIL
2004 |
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Jack Benard's departure for California was not the only serious
problem I had to deal with in March. Counting Jack, I lost 5 lead
instructors in one month! And I was a zombie to boot.
SSQQ has begun to resemble a MASH unit.
For starters we have the accident poster boy, MG Anseman.
Next we have the two dancing divas, Rachel Seff Koenig and Anita
Williams, both sidelined with matching knee injuries.
Martin Anderson will be out for a while having some surgery.
There are so many people beat up around here, I suppose my
month-long bout with a horrible sinus condition I picked up on the
Mardi Cruise barely counts. But let me tell you, there are a
half-dozen people from that same trip who have that same nasty
cough. Sore throats, headaches, fatigue, coughing, sneezing, chest
phlegm, you don't want it. A lot of people on the ship caught the
same thing. Whatever the bug was, it was One Bad Bug!!
Let me add that my battle with the virus was so exhausting it kept
me from working on the Newsletter which accounts for why it is over
a week late this month.
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START
OF THE REGULAR FEATURES SECTION |
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COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH
- THIS MONTH RICK DOES THE COMPLAINING!! |
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My In-Box is completely empty of complaints this month, a small miracle. I
can't remember the last time this happened. I suppose I could make up a BS
complaint and rant and rave about it, but you might be surprised to know I
don't do that.
So instead this month I will do the complaining.
INCIDENT ONE: On the recent cruise trip, I taught a Beginners Cha Cha
workshop aboard the ship. The class was free; anyone could join. We even had
a woman from Los Angeles show up who had met our group in the infamous Hot
Tub.
At the start we had 20 people including 9 men and 11 women. I asked one of
my advanced woman dancers if she would mind dancing Lead, a term that more
or less means dancing the boy's part. Although I hadn't asked her in
advance, the lady was nice enough to agree to dance lead as she had on our
previous cruise as well. Her sacrifice balanced the class perfectly.
As most of you know, in our classes we rotate partners frequently. This time
however someone threw a monkey wrench into my plans. After the second or
third rotation, the Lead lady offered to dance with another woman member of
our group. The woman flatly refused to dance. Instead the woman sat down in
a chair and watched instead, leaving the Lead Lady standing there wondering
what to do. I watched the entire scene in quiet fury.
It has been my experience over the years that women do not mind dancing with
other women. This took me by complete surprise and the "Lead Lady" as well.
Flustered by the rejection, now the lady who had once been willing to dance
lead didn't want to "Lead" any more. Instead she switched back to being a
girl. After a putdown like that, I didn't blame her a bit.
Immediately two other ladies showed up. Their arrival coupled with the
original Lead Lady's defection back to the Girl's Team meant the Lead-Follow
ratio was way out of unbalance. I knew this was going to happen - this was
the reason I had asked the advanced lady dancer to dance Lead in the first
place. But Miss Rejection's move effectively ruined those plans.
Miss Rejection had another surprise for me. Whenever we rotated again, if
the man was a good dancer, Miss R would pop up out of her seat to dance with
him. But if the next guy wasn't a good dancer, she developed the unusual
habit of sitting back down only to jump back up again if she considered the
next man worthy of being allowed to dance with her.
As you can imagine, I didn't like this stunt one bit. Did I say anything?
No. I had never encountered such a high level of rudeness before. Since she
was part of the group, I didn't see the point of calling her down. The main
reason I said nothing is that it is impossible to discuss an issue this
sensitive on the spot. How am I going to take her into a corner and talk
about this without the other students watching?
Don't forget, if I single her out on the spot or toss her out of the class,
the rest of the trip will be effectively ruined for her. Furthermore, it
interrupts the class. What are they supposed to do during our conversation?
We only had the room for a limited time so I decided to press on.
My question is: What should I have done? What would you have done? What
would Miss Manners do? Does Miss R have the right to participate in the
class? Or should I have asked her to leave? Or asked her to stay in her seat
if she wasn't going to rotate like everyone else?
I would like to know what to do the next time something like this happens.
Therefore I am soliciting advice.
I will print all comments anonymously in the next newsletter or list your
name if you ask me to.
INCIDENT TWO: Is there a Twilight Zone? After the Cha Cha incident, an
eerily similar situation presented itself to me just three weeks later.
In the first two weeks of my Beginning Western Swing class, there had been
more women than men. My two excellent lady assistants, Mona and Kerry, had
danced the Lead part to balance out the class. However in the third week
there was a surprising surplus of men.
Even with Mona and Kerry dancing as women again, there were still four more
men than women. I explained to the entire class that I had decided since we
were so out of balance for a while I would dance the "Follow Part".
Addressing the group, I said this might make some of the men uncomfortable,
but that I would appreciate their cooperation since I felt I could improve
their leads this way.
The fourth man that rotated to me suddenly stepped back and decided not to
dance with me. At first I was ready to look the other way, but then I
changed my mind. I realized that although none of the other men had seemed
particularly happy to dance with me, at least they had cooperated.
Over the years I have discovered that every time I make an exception, it
comes back to bite me. I firmly believed that if each man in the room saw me
allow one guy to brush me off, then some of the others would soon follow.
This same man had once done the exact same thing to me in the exact same
class! The first time this happened a year earlier I told him the next time
he came around I expected him to dance with me. He left the room before
rotating to me again.
In other words, he respected me enough to repeat my class, but he didn't
respect me enough to dance with me.
So I said, "Please either dance with me or leave." Without a word, he left.
I did not like this incident one bit when it happened and I still don't like
it. I did not enjoy confronting the gentleman nor did I enjoy making him
feel uncomfortable by insisting he dance with me. Again, the problem was
that I wasn't in a position to bargain or reach a compromise while I am
teaching a class. Any conversation not only disrupts my class, but also
serves to call unwanted attention to the student.
I have to consider the entire group. The men have paid me to teach them how
to dance. I think I have the right to dance with them whenever the situation
calls for it.
Unfortunately I am not convinced I did the right thing. I think what I
should do in the future is play the "Alamo Game", i.e. draw a line in sand
ahead of time. First I will announce I am dancing as a "Follow" and explain
it is strictly professional. Then before I dance with any man (or ask any
woman to dance with a woman), I will ask if this causes a problem for anyone
and say if they are unwilling to rotate they are welcome to sit down ahead
of time and watch for the remainder of class.
Again, I would like to know what other people think. As before, I will print
any comments anonymously or list your name if you specify you wish me to.
Rick Archer |
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BEST NEW JOKES OF THE
MONTH |
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Over the years, we have
been sent countless numbers of jokes by our Newsletter Readers.
We have kept what we thought were the best. At this point
we have now have a Hall of Fame collection of over 600 jokes.
Many of them are real gems. We rotate these jokes on a monthly
basis so over the year you get to read them all.
In addition to our
"Classics", we also get many new jokes each month sent in by our
students. This section contains our favorites. At
the end of each year we add these jokes to the "Immortal
Collection".
By the way, getting a
joke selected isn't very easy since we have been collecting
jokes for so long. It's tough to find a new one. So if you
send in a great joke and nothing ever happens, trust us - it is
already on the Web Site. If you don't believe us, email
and ask about your joke!! I am serious. I will show you
where the joke is.
We greatly appreciate any jokes you would like to submit. Send
them to Rick Archer at dance@ssqq.com
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The Blondes and the Houston Police Department - Chris Holmes
The Houston Police Department desperately needed a blonde woman
to do undercover work as a waitress in a bar frequented by known
criminals. Three blondes set in the office to apply for the
position. The detective conducting the interview looked at the
three of them and said, "So ya'll want to be a cop, eh?"
The blondes all smiled and nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a file
folder. Sitting back down, he opened it up and pulled out a
picture and said, "To be a good detective, you must be able to
detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing
features and oddities, such as scars, etc."
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde
and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said. "Did
you notice any distinguishing features about the man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only
one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! Try using
your brain next time! You're dismissed."
The first blonde hung her head and walked out.
The detective then turned to the second blonde and stuck the
photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said,
"Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hand and exclaimed, "Didn't
you hear what I told the other lady? This is a profile of a
man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're not smart
enough to work for us. You're excused, too!"
Sniffling quietly, the second blonde hung her head and walked
out.
Rolling his eyes in disgust, the detective turned to the third
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