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The SSQQ June 2004
Newsletter
Written and edited monthly by Rick Archer |
HEADLINES |
Previous 2004 Newsletters |
Bottom of Page |
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ONE |
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JUNE DANCE CLASSES
BEGIN ON MEMORIAL DAY MONDAY, MAY 31ST. |
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TWO
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UPCOMING DANCE
PARTIES INCLUDING "MY CALIENTE" ON SATURDAY, JUNE 12TH
AND THE WONDERFUL SOCK HOP SWING PARTY ON SATURDAY, JUNE 26TH.
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THREE |
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THE SSQQ SEPTEMBER DANCE CRUISE ABOARD THE RHAPSODY IS
EXPLODING!! THE PRICES HAVE JUST JUMPED,
BUT YOU CAN STILL REGISTER TODAY AT THE ORIGINAL RATES TO AVOID
A PRICE INCREASE! |
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FOUR |
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IMPORTANT CHANGES IN SSQQ PRACTICE NIGHT STARTING IN JUNE. |
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FIVE |
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MG
ANSEMAN IS WELL ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY! |
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SIX |
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BLACKMAIL, PASSION AND VANITY: THE STORY OF THE 2004
SSQQ MARDI GRAS TRIP! |
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SEVEN |
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SSQQ STAFF UPDATES FOR MAY/JUNE 2004 |
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EIGHT |
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WOMAN READY TO QUIT
HER JOB AND MOVE FROM KENTUCKY JUST TO BE AT SSQQ. |
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NINE |
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FORMER
INSTRUCTOR WIL COULBOURN IS A NEW DAD! |
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TEN |
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SSQQ TO SEE
BELLAIRE'S FIRST-EVER SKY BRIDGE BUILT. |
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ELEVEN |
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JACK BENARD REVISITED |
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TWELVE |
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THIRTEEN |
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FOURTEEN |
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FIFTEEN |
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COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH |
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COMPLAINT OF THE
MONTH: DOES SSQQ HAVE THE RIGHT TO INSIST A MALE STUDENT SHOULD
DANCE WITH A MALE INSTRUCTOR? THIS MONTH WE REVISIT THIS
DIFFICULT ISSUE. |
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BEST NEW JOKES OF MONTH |
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BEST NEW JOKES OF THE
MONTH: 5 NEW JOKES THIS MONTH!! -
Contributed by Chris Holmes, Leroy Ginzel, Judy Walsh, and Pat
Roberts. |
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SLOW DANCE
AND ROMANCE |
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ONE COUPLE GOT
MARRIED AND ANOTHER COUPLE FROM THE 2002 SSQQ CRUISE GOT ENGAGED
AND A THIRD COUPLE GOT ENGAGED BUT WON'T TELL US ANYTHING!! |
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ssqq employee of month |
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SUSAN SCHROEDER |
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ssqq logic club |
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WHO WERE THE WINNERS
OF THE APRIL PUZZLE?
ONLY 3
PEOPLE TIED FOR FIRST PLACE!! |
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NEW logic puzzle |
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tHE NEW SSQQ
LOGIC PUZZLE: MARA
RIVAS RECREATES "FRIENDS" AND RISKS HER REPUTATION! |
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joke picture of the month |
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TWO NEW
PICTURES, ONE FUNNY, ONE IRONIC |
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WORST NEW PUN OF
MONTH |
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TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL
GAME! Contributed by Judy
Walsh |
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VOCABULARY WORD |
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SUPERNUMERARY!
Contributed by Ann Faget |
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VENUS AND MARS |
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Two Observations this
month, one from Tom Huddleston and one
from
Donna Ruth.
Both are very similar. |
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CLEAN SIDE JOKES |
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FEATURING
"Why
Engineers Don't Need to Make as Much Money as Lawyers"
BY
JILL BANTA |
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BLUE SIDE JOKES |
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FEATURING "The
FEMALE GORILLA" BY SSQQ INSTRUCTOR JILL BANTA |
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START OF THE HEADLINE STORIES SECTION |
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THE JUNE
SCHEDULE OF CLASSES
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/schedule.htm |
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE JUNE 2004 SCHEDULE
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/extra.htm |
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THE JUNE SCHEDULE OF SSQQ DANCE CLASSES -
CLASSES
START MEMORIAL DAY MONDAY!!
The June Dance Semester begins the week of Monday, May 31st
Don't forget you are perfectly welcome to start classes in the
Second Week of the May Dance Semester. By the way, please note that
Sunday classes in June (and July too) come at the END of the SSQQ
Dance Week.
WEIRD START DATE: Normally we would start classes on Sunday, May
30th, but since this is Memorial Day Sunday, we decided to push the
start date till a week later. We run into the same problem in July:
Sunday is July 4th, so we start Sundays a week late in July as well.
Things return to normal in August.
HERE ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS OF THE JUNE 2004 SCHEDULE
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/extra.htm
Maureen Brunetti's SWING CHARLESTON II returns in June. This
high-energy course has always been a huge favorite at SSQQ. Taught
Sundays at 4:30 pm, Swing Charleston patterns are flashy,
eye-catching patterns that are fun to learn and awesome to see!!
Level I was very popular in May. Fortunately you are welcome to take
Level II without having taken Level I since the patterns are
completely different in the two sections.
Judy Archer will teach BEGINNING LATIN HUSTLE on Sunday evenings.
The Hustle is very similar to both East and West Coast Swing. The
music and timing are similar to West Coast Swing while the footwork
and patterns are similar to East Coast Swing. This course will be
taught swiftly since we assume you have had Intermediate
Swing/Jitterbug at SSQQ. This pre-requisite saves a lot of time and
allows the class to move at a much faster clip!!
The SSQQ Ballroom Program on Monday has 3 great courses this month.
We have our first ADVANCED TANGO class in a year. Rick Archer taught
the first two levels of Tango to sixteen brave and dedicated
students, but reached his Peter Principle level of incompetence
towards the very end. Now finally someone who knows what they doing
takes over!! On Mondays in June Judy Archer will teach as many
intricate and tough patterns as the students can handle!! This
course will not roll around again tomorrow, so definitely strike
while the anvil is HOT!
Speaking of "HOT", next comes SOME LIKE IT HOT on Mondays with
Charlene Tees. This excellent Intro to Latin Dancing class covers
four different Latin dances such as Cha Cha, Mambo, Samba, and
Rumba.
Rounding out the Monday list is a studio favorite: DANCING IN THE
MOONLIGHT. Taught by Rick Archer, this class covers 3 famous
Ballroom dances that share almost identical footwork - Foxtrot,
Waltz, and Rumba. Once you master the subtle differences in the
styling & timing, you will be learning 3 dances at once!! Learn to
dance to Sinatra Foxtrots ("The Way You Look Tonight"), smooth Jazz
Rumba music (Diana Krall's "The Look of Love"), and beautiful Irish
Waltzes ("Greensleeves")! Side Note: For all you people planning on
dancing with us on the SSQQ September Dance Cruise, this is the
perfect class to take to prepare for the Ballroom Dancing that
occurs every night of the trip!!
ADVANCED WESTERN WALTZ appears on Wednesdays with Sharon Crawford
and John Jones. The Intermediate level was so successful it filled
Room 1 with 100 people. Since crowding is a problem, we will likely
have to set a space limit for the class, so register swiftly.
BEGINNING NIGHT CLUB returns for the first time in 5 months on
Fridays with Anita. Every C&W album has 2 or 3 romantic slow songs.
Night Club is a dance that fits these ballads perfectly. The
reaction here at SSQQ has been very favorable to this sophisticated
dance. We will dedicate Room 6 exclusively to Night Club music for
you to practice after class!
Rick Archer teaches MARTIAN WHIP on Thursdays. Houston City WCS
champion Bryan Spivey and his partner Lisa Palmer teach the Friday
night sequel known as the MARTIAN XTRA class. There is no overlap
between the two nights which means you pay one price and get the
second class for free.
Unfortunately there are huge problems with the SSQQ Martian Whip
class. The big complaint about this unique program is the incredible
amount of material covered. "I can barely keep up with it all!!" Ah
gee, now isn't that too bad? Wah Wah. Hint: Try staying afterwards
for Practice Night. Furthermore our Friday Whip/WCS practice night
was so big last week that Gary D'Antoni almost talked me into taking
down the extra wall in Room 4. It was THAT crowded. And Michael
Friedberg almost talked me into stealing Room 1 back from the Salsa
people on Thursdays. It was THAT crowded. And one night there were 5
more men than women!! Imagine an advanced Whip class with more men
than women. That has to be a first. Problems Headaches Misery. It's
a wonder that they all survived in May.
SSQQ is introducing a new Saturday dance program known as SENORS AND
SENORITAS. It will be held from 1:30 to 3:30 pm. Taught by Milt
Oglesby and Susan Arevalo, this unique class is reserved strictly
for dance students over 50. It features all kinds of dancing and has
a built-in Practice Night at the end of each class. The four weeks
of classes will cover Beginning Swing Dancing, Ballroom Dancing,
Latin Dancing and Western Dancing. We will switch partners
constantly. (Please note if the boy-girl ratio is out of kilter, we
may ask a couple of ladies who are pretty good dancers to volunteer
to "lead" rather than follow in order to balance the class.) For
more information, visit
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/senors.htm
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SATURDAY NIGHT
PARTIES IN MAY/JUNE
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/calendar.htm |
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JUKEBOX SATURDAY NIGHT
Saturday, May 22, 9:15 - Midnight $7
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party10.htm
CRASH COURSES 7-9 PM
BEG C&W : TEXAS TWOSTEP - Loni
DIRTY DANCING (Cpls Only) - Bryan
BEG WESTERN CHA CHA - Jill
BEG WESTERN WALTZ - Karen
WESTERN LINE DANCE - Mae
LINDA'S FAV DEATH VALLEY PTNS - Linda
Music: There are certain things that people like to complain about:
Taxes, Government, Politicians, and (you guessed it) DJs!!
The truth is people love to complain about the music anytime they go
dancing. Wrong song, wrong beat, too old, too fast, too slow, not
enough this, too much that… you know… you've been there yourself.
JUKEBOX SATURDAY NIGHT is the party where the dancers make the
requests. You pick the music!!
The idea behind the party is for our guests to pick the music. No
requests, no music. The DJ is like a Genie; he is simply there to
serve you! This party has been very popular for the past two years.
Everyone is positive they could pick better music than the DJ. Well,
here's your chance to prove it!
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DANCE PARTIES IN JUNE |
MUY CALIENTE SALSA PARTY
Saturday, June 12th, 9:15 - Midnight, $7 pm
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party11.htm
Room 1 for this party is devoted strictly to Salsa Dancing.
Room 4 will feature Tango and requests. Room 6 will have Swing
Dancing.
CRASH COURSES AT MUY CALIENTE FROM 7-9 PM:
SALSA DIPS AND LUNGES II - Steve and Danielle
BACHATA - Linda
BEG SALSA MERENGUE - Jim
LATIN CHA CHA - Jill
JUDY'S FAV ADV SALSA PTNS - Judy
LATIN HUSTLE - The Infamous Disco Partner Dance - Kerry
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THE FABULOUS SSQQ SOCK HOP SWING DANCE!
Saturday, June 26th, 9:15 - 1 am, Cover Charge $10.
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/party12.htm
CRASH COURSES AT THE SOCK HOP FROM 7-9 PM:
BEGINNING SWING - Linda
DIFFICULT SWING ACROBATICS - Paul (Couples Only)
BEG WEST COAST SWING - Bethany
SHAGGIE JITTERBUG - Rachel
SOCK HOP PARTY LINE DANCES - Rick
BRYAN'S SLEAZY BAR WHIP PTNS - Bryan Spivey
If you have never taken Rick's Sock Hop Line Dance class
before, this is your chance to learn 9 classic "Blast from the
Past" Line Dances including the Stroll, Hully-Gully, Cold
Sweat, Hand Jive, Harlem Shuffle, See You in September Cha
Cha, Twisting the Night Away, Land of 1000 Dances, and best of
all the legendary Grapevine Dance. A big part of the Sock Hop
is getting a crowd of 75 people out on the floor to perform
these line dances during the evening.
PS- For more fun, wear a 50s/60s outfit to the Line Dance
Crash Course with an eye towards staying for the annual SSQQ
Sock Hop afterwards!
Room 1 for this party is reserved for Swing and Jitterbug
Dancing plus all the crazy 50s Line Dances we perform at this
party. Room 4 is reserved Whip/WCS dancing to the great Whip
music of the 60s and 70s.
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SSQQ has scheduled a 7-day Cruise aboard Royal
Caribbean's floating palace known as the "Rhapsody" at the end of
September. The dates for the sailing are Sunday, September 26, thru
Sunday, October 3.
As of Wednesday, May 19th, the price for this trip has just risen.
Inside Cabins have gone up $20 per person and Balconies have gone up
$50. The SSQQ Price is currently less expensive, but only until
Friday evening, May 21st!!
If you sign up today, you are guaranteed the original price. After
that the price will start to fluctuate every week. You can assume
realistically it is more likely to rise than fall.
The irony of this situation is that just one single month ago I had
egg all over my face because our Summer July 4th Cruise aboard
Carnival's Celebration was dying in the water. There was no buzz and
no wind in our sails. One person after another said, "If you had
scheduled the trip aboard the Rhapsody, I would love to have gone!!"
Amazingly, I decided to Listen to people. Imagine that. I even
decided to Give In and cancel the Carnival trip. Imagine that. And I
decided to Give people what they were asking for and jump ship over
to the Rhapsody. Imagine that.
And guess what? Everyone who encouraged me to switch ships stepped
up to the plate and signed on. In one single month we had 63 people
sign up for the September Trip!! Isn't it amazing what happens in
business when you actually give customers what they ask for?
And talk about BUZZ!! The noise about this new trip is practically
deafening. All those thuds you hear are from the Fence Straddlers
falling on the ground in their haste to join the stampede!!
What a difference a month makes. And there is still time to join us.
First of all, let's review why this trip will be great:
1. The SSQQ Welcome Back Cocktail Party on Day 1.
2. The SSQQ "Dancing at Sea" workshop on Day 2 as we prepare for the
evening's Big Band Dance.
3. The Captain's Reception Big Band Swing Dance on Day 2's Formal
Night.
4. Key West on Day 3. Let's hit an infamous bar and take a walk on
the wild side!
5. Dance Workshops on Day 4 in the beautiful "Shall We Dance"
Lounge. Tango anyone?
6. Day 5 in the beautiful and bizarre Cayman Islands where everyone
is richer than you are.
7. Day 6 Snorkeling and Beach Volleyball at Cozumel's gorgeous
Chankanaab Beach.
8. SSQQ "Dancing at Sea" workshop on Day 7. Time for more Salsa
Rueda? Or maybe something else as the group decides.
9. Evening Shows and Group Dancing afterwards each night.
10. The Wicked Ever-present Danger of SSQQ Slow Dance and Romance.
I predict we will have the greatest dance cruise in SSQQ history
aboard the Rhapsody in late September. The prices are the lowest of
the year and I bet the Rhapsody will let our group use the beautiful
"Shall We Dance Lounge" with its great circular dance floor to our
heart's content. And you are bound to discover where the slogan
"Slow Dance and Romance" comes from.
Speaking of Romance, you guys had better wake up and join this trip.
There are many gorgeous, beautiful women signed up on this trip who
promise to make any man happy if he will just dance with them and
have some fun. Women go nuts when waves and ocean breeze get mixed
with Waltz - a very dangerous combination that the fair sex has no
defense against. The women are rendered practically helpless to any
man who can dance… But you have to be on board to get your reward…
Sign up Swiftly or you'll be sorry.
We will show off our dancing to the Big Band music of the Captain's
Reception and again at the Crown and Anchor Party. Come on board and
help us put on a terrific dance show for the crew and all the
passengers!
Here's the deal: We are currently out of Inside Cabins except for a
couple openings for people who still haven't gotten a roommate yet.
The ship is selling out fast. There are only limited numbers of the
least expensive cabins left although there is plenty of space left
in Oceanview or on some of the higher level inside cabins.
It appears this trip will be a sellout. This means there is a good
chance the prices will increase as the trip gets nearer and demand
remains strong (which is likely).
Because the Royal Caribbean people are playing a mild game of
hardball, we can only guarantee the current prices through Friday,
May 21. After that Marla tells me we will still be able to book
people but the price may increase. SIGN UP TODAY.
If you change your mind you have until July 18th to back out, but a
$250 deposit TODAY guarantees you a spot whether you have a roommate
or not (we will find you a roommate).
We need a $250 deposit by May 21st to hold a spot. This money is
completely refundable up to the date of final payment on July 18th.
If you are interested in the trip, you should read more about it on
the SSQQ Web Site.
http://ssqq.com/information/rhapsody2004promo.htm
You can also call Marla Gorzynski at 713 862 4428 or email her at
marla@ssqq.com
(Editor's Note: By the way, I recently received the following note
from one of last years cruisers that I thought I should share with
you.
Dear Rick, I just ran across my diary from last year's cruise and
wanted to let you know how I personally saved your life and that of
everyone from SSQQ a year ago. You don't have to thank me though.
Some deeds are their own reward. Love, Sandy.
MY DIARY.
MONDAY:
What a wonderful cruise this is going to be! I felt singularly
honored this evening. The Captain asked me to dine at his table.
TUESDAY:
I spent the entire afternoon on the bridge with the Captain.
WEDNESDAY:
The Captain made proposals to me unbecoming an officer and a
gentleman.
THURSDAY:
Tonight the Captain threatened to sink the ship if I do not give in
to his indecent proposals!
FRIDAY:
This afternoon I saved 1600 lives --- twice) |
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IMPORTANT CHANGES IN SSQQ PRACTICE NIGHT STARTING IN JUNE. |
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1) PRICE OF ADMISSIONS DROPS.
The price of admission will drop from $3 to $2 Sunday thru Thursday
for people taking classes THAT NIGHT. The price of admission will
remain $3 on Friday for people taking classes THAT NIGHT.
However once the Hall Monitor moves to her station in Room 6, the
price will jump one dollar to $3 Sunday through Thursday and will
rise to $5 on Friday.
The Discount is a reward for taking class that night. This $2 price
is a special feature exclusively for people who showed up for
classes that night and does not include students enrolled in classes
on another night or not enrolled at all.
Example 1: You are signed up for Beginning Salsa. You are signed up
for Beginning Salsa on Tuesday. To get some extra practice you also
show up for Salsa Class on Thursday. Afterwards you decide to stay
for Practice that same night. Charge is $2.
Example 2: You are signed up for Beginning Salsa on Thursday, but
work late. You show up for Practice Night on your way home at 9:10
pm before the Hall Monitor moves to Room 6. The charge will be $2.
Example 3: You are signed up for Beginning Salsa on Thursday, but
work late. You show up for Practice Night on your way home at 9:30
pm. The charge will be $3.
Example 4: You miss class but show up for Friday Night Practice
Night at 9:15 while the Hall Monitor is still collecting the money
in Room 1. Charge: $3. More power to you for showing up early.
Example 5: You show up for Friday Practice Night at 9:30 and the
Hall Monitor is sitting in Room 6 to greet you. The charge is $5.
In other words, to avoid the higher charge, you get a reward if you
come to class or come early.
2) PRE-CLASS PRACTICE NIGHT.
A major change is the creation of a new "Pre-Class Practice Night"
each evening 30 minutes before classes start. This will include 4 pm
on Saturday and Sunday. We will put dance music on in Room 1 and
Room 6 plus turn the TV on in Room 2. (Rooms 3, 4, and 5 will still
be reserved for private lessons.)
There will be no charge for this half-hour of dancing. However it
will only be open for people w a registration slip for a class that
evening - assume the Hall Monitor will be there to check your
receipt.
If this program shows promise, we will take it from there. |
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MG ANSEMAN IS DOING MUCH BETTER,
THANK YOU. |
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On
Friday night, March 19, SSQQ Instructor MG Anseman suffered a
serious motorcycle accident near Gonzalez, Louisiana (just south of
Baton Rouge). MG had just finished visiting his ailing mother in the
hospital for what seemed likely the last time. (As he feared, MG's
mother passed away just two weeks later.)
MG was heading back to New Orleans to spend the evening with his son
when suddenly his bike hit a rock. The motorcycle fish-tailed out of
control making huge S-swerves. After a frightening 150-foot career
towards disaster, the bike finished its uncontrollable skid by
flying right over the edge of an 8-foot ditch on the side of the
road. Helpless to control the bike's path, MG was thrown clear of
the bike and landed left shoulder first on a gravel surface,
smashing the left side of his face and neck as well. Suffice it say,
MG was badly hurt.
(read the original story at
http://www.ssqq.com/ssqq/news2004april.htm )
Thank goodness as we head towards the end of May, MG is doing much
better. In a phone conversation with him on Tuesday, May 18, I
learned that he is moving around just fine. He is able to go into
work every day for an hour or two.
The good new is that the numbness in his hand and arm has
disappeared. The bad news is that he got hit with a lot of brand new
pain when the numbness went away, but he is handling the pain with
frequent visits to an acupuncturist.
Another problem is that MG can't sleep for long periods, but he is
coping with this by listening to Jack Benard's Sleep Tapes. (Don't
we miss Jack!! But that's another story.)
I might add he has lost a lot of weight! MG says he is down to 200
lbs, the lightest he has been in ages. I was planning to kick his
butt just for the fun of it, but then I remembered he should be back
on his feet by July and changed my mind.
MG hopes to begin teaching again in July, but warns that August
might be more realistic. He misses the studio a lot and is going
nuts not being able to dance. By the way, MG hopes to drop by the
studio sometime Thursday evening, May 20th. In case you are out and
about, drop by the studio on Thursday and see if you can catch him!!
And thank goodness he survived!! Now we can tease him about not
wearing that helmet!!
One more thing: Don't forget, MG says please NO FLOWERS! He fears
flowers worse than Superman fears Kryptonite. So I strongly URGE all
of you NOT to bring any flowers on Thursday!! Remember: Don't bring
any flowers, got that? Repeat: Don't bring any flowers whatever you
do!! |
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BLACKMAIL, PASSION, AND
VANITY: THE STORY OF THE 2004 SSQQ MARDI GRAS TRIP! |
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This past February saw 39 Brave SSQQ Cruisers dare to walk down the
wicked streets of Mardi Gras straight into the center of New
Orleans, the infamous City of Sin!
Huge crowds, amazing Parades, pulsating Bands, Bead Tosses, Drinking
to Excess, as well as an unimaginable supply of nayked brests
awaited us. Yes, all the terrible things they say about Mardi Gras
turned out to be true. Even worse, we had a lot of fun! Yes, the
decadence of Mardi Gras rubbed off on us and we thoroughly enjoyed
being corrupted.
We were even stupid enough to take pictures of our follies and
chronicle our adventures as well. Our reputations will be ruined
forever.
Along the way you will read about why our ship was forced to dock
100 miles from Mardi Gras, how an obstinate SSQQ woman ignored my
pathetic blackmail threat (and paid for it by having the entire
sordid story printed), how we were surrounded at all times by
nayked
and painted brests everywhere the eye see (with pictures to prove
that the men did everything possible to make sure no nayked brest
got ignored!), how a beautiful woman from our fell deeply in love
with a major celebrity on board, and how a handsome dashing member
of our group had way too much fun… and paid for it with a vicious
attack on his ego!
These stories of the trip, amazing pictures, and much more await
you!
http://ssqq.com/information/mardigras2004home.htm
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SSQQ STAFF UPDATES FOR MAY/JUNE
2004 |
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Recently we have had all sorts of problems with health on the SSQQ
Staff.
For starters we have the accident poster boy, MG Anseman. He is
bouncing back.
Next we have the two dancing divas, Rachel Seff Koenig and Anita
Williams, both sidelined with matching knee injuries. Both wonderful
ladies are now back in action and making me miserable again with
their smart mouths.
Martin Anderson has returned from having surgery. We are so grateful
for his swift recovery!
End of an era: Judy Archer and Martin Anderson have handed off their
beloved Salsa Dips and Lunges class to two new Salseros known as
Steve and Danielle (who will make their debut at the Muy Caliente
Salsa Party in June). Martin's surgery meant he wouldn't be able to
teach this class for a while and Judy figured it was time to hand
over the reins to the younger generation. I don't know what took her
so long. I handed off Acrobatics long ago. Ah, the joys of aging.
We have added Milt Oglesby and Susan Arevalo to our Staff as the
Senor and Senoritas instructors. Milt's story should be an
inspiration to all dancers. Milt has long been known for his ability
to dance without moving his feet. And now he is an instructor. Who
would ever have thought the person least likely to succeed in his
first dance class would get this far? Let that be a lesson to all of
you: Bribery and the willingness to work for mediocre pay will
overcome dancing ability and charm every time.
Special congratulations are in order for Bryan Spivey who has just
graduated from college!! Mind you, it took him seven years, but none
of us have the guts to ask why it took him so long. I assume he was
simply stringing out his athletic eligibility as long as he could
for all the free meals. All my teasing aside, nice work, Bryan! I
forget, what do you give new college graduates as a reward? Is this
the one where you spank them? Or is this the one where you hand them
some money for nothing? Do you buy them some Waterford crystal? Or
do you hand them some M&Ms and give them a big pat on the back? Or
do you dump a lot of work on them so the joys of early retirement
seem ever nearer? Let me know what the correct response is!! |
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WOMAN READY TO QUIT HER JOB AND
MOVE FROM KENTUCKY JUST TO BE AT SSQQ. |
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-----Original Message-----
From: Sally Richardson
Sent: Thursday, March 25, 2004 12:29 PM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject: moving to Houston from Kentucky and finding a dance
studio
Dear Mr. Archer:
I am thinking about moving to Houston and I have picked your
studio to be my new dance home. I recently finished my first dance
lessons at a studio in Lexington, KY. I fell in love with dancing
and have a great passion for it. As you know, passion drives
perfection. I would like to one day teach. Will you please guide
me and let me know what I have to do to become proficient. I am
willing to work hard. I am willing to rearrange my life to be able
to do this. I am even willing to quit my job and get another one
in order to dance. Please advise.
Thank you,
Sally Richardson
My Response:
"You are passionate about dancing, yes, Sally? Why don't we
correspond a little before you go quitting anything and we can
take it from there.
Rick Archer"
(Editor's Note: Remember the Beatles went to India to find their
Maharishi? SSQQ is now a likely site for pilgrimages. We are so
honored!)
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A NEW BABY IN
THE HOUSE!! |
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-----Original Message-----
From: Wil Coulbourn [mailto:wcoulbourn@mpv.com]
Sent: Wednesday, March 24, 2004 11:38 AM
To: dance@ssqq.com
Subject:New Baby in the house!
"So, if any of ya'll were wondering why I haven't been answering
email recently ;)
Our daughter arrived to join our little family last week. Jade
Kaitlyn Coulbourn was born at 11:39 am on St. Patrick's Day (March
17th, 2004). She weighed in at 6 lbs 2 oz and 18 ¾ inches long. Mom,
baby girl and big brother are all doing wonderfully. Although my son
Devyn is still adjusting to having some attention paid to this
little squirmy thing! And he seems a bit put out that we won't let
him play much with the new "toy."
For those of you interested, we have a few pics up on the website.
Got to http://www.kiwiland.org and click on the "Picture Gallery"
link on the left side.
Later!
Wil"
(Editors Note: Wil Coulbourn aka Kiwi, was a long time Western
teacher on Fridays who resigned not to long ago to start family.
Looks like he is doing pretty well on that project!!
Congratulations! In the meantime, his successor and former assistant
Leo Skiba is doing well on Fridays in Wil's former spot.)
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BELLAIRE'S FIRST-EVER
SKYBRIDGE |
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For the past two years, I have watched
with some concern as important real estate changes have taken place
around the Bissonnet shopping center SSQQ calls its home.
Last year I noticed when the tenants in the quiet building next to
Charlies BBQ were told to vacate the premises. After they left, that
building was expensively remodeled and is now home to "First Street
Surgical Center". You cannot have missed the iron gates and gorgeous
landscaping that now adorn its premises. So clearly this building
went upscale!
A big SSQQ story from a year ago was the illegal towing of SSQQ cars
from the abandoned Door Warehouse building at the edge of the SSQQ
parking lot. After the Door Warehouse went bankrupt, the space was
up for rent, but instead was purchased by the same people who also
own the First Street Surgical Center. The good news is the towing
threat seems to have disappeared. There are no threatening signs on
that building anymore and no incidents in over a year.
Two months ago I was informed by my landlord that he had decided to
sell the 4803 Bissonnet to Dr. Varon, who just happens to be the
owner of the First Street Surgical Center and the Door Warehouse
building. For anyone who has ever played Monopoly, Dr. Varon appears
to have accomplished a Monopoly of his own on the First
Street/Bissonnet corner.
Now comes further news that the Bellaire City Council has approved
plans for First Street Surgical Center to put up a Sky Bridge that
will connect the Surgical Center to the Door Warehouse building. In
other words, you will still be able to use that little secret
passage street that runs between the Surgical Center and Door
Warehouse, but there will be a sky bridge above your head.
The new owners of my building have not met with me yet so I am
uncertain as to the long-range plans. The rumor is they intend
to not disturb the leases of anyone in the 4800 Bissonnet
Shopping Center.
It has been suggested the reason they bid so aggressively on
this property was to acquire rights to the parking lot which
would in turn support their investment in the Door Warehouse
building. |
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This all remains to be seen. Another rumor is the addition of a
second story to the Door Warehouse building to meet the Sky Bridge
as well as added parking under and around the Door Warehouse
building.
Further rumors have extensive new landscaping being added
to our shopping center by our obviously well-heeled new landlords.
That would be nice.
Now if they could just fit some of the potholes in our parking lot…
but let's give them time to ease in to the difficult task of
managing three extensive properties all at once.
I will keep you posted of new developments. In the meantime, here is
a story that I have reprinted from Kathleen Ballanfant's excellent
local newspaper, "Village and Southwest News": |
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CITY COUNCIL APPROVES BELLAIRE'S FIRST SKYBRIDGE
By Michelle Leigh Smith
Reprinted From The Village and Southwest
News
Bellaire will soon have its first skybridge, requested by the First
Street Surgical Center. Council voted unanimously to approve the
request after reconsideration of a previous direction given to the
Planning and Zoning Commission to determine whether the concept of
sky bridges should be allowed in the City of Bellaire.
Mayor Pro Tem Phil Nauert proposed an amendment directing City staff
to grant the permits for the skybridge since there was no existing
rules on the books about skybridges and secondly, to direct P&Z to
look into drafting skybridge guidelines.
"I could not support this amendment," said Pat McLaughlan. "I see
the City of Bellaire would be receiving no consideration for the
abandonment of street right of way.
Siegel explained that the amendment was not to abandon the ROW. The
ROW stays in our possession. I understood I may be a little slow,
but I'm having a real problem understanding what it is these people
want. The first few pages of the brochure are concentrated on the
Skybridge. They show extensive landscaping with palms and fountains.
It sounds like if they are doing this extensive landscaping over the
entire parking lot that they have an interest in the entire center
where Radio Shack is located. I think we need to deal with it in an
integrated manner. Cindy interjected, "Can I try to explain. The
issue is about the Skybridge. They have bought this whole area,
including the center. They bought the Door Warehouse, they are
putting $8.5 million in. The center will be upgraded and they will
add a new professional building where the Door Warehouse is."
Council voted Nauert had a point of order. "Public discussion is
closed. I don't think it's in our purview to tell them what to do
with the center. What an egregious extension of our effort beyond
what is legally allowed us. It is an opportunity only for us to make
a mistake. I would like us to continue only with discussion of the
matter at hand."
Davison said, "I think the one element that we're missing is fact
that we didn't do our housekeeping. I agree that in the absence of
an ordinance we should grant this."
Jeffrey asked if the city would be giving up any utilities
underneath the property.
"I think the way it is looks good," Jeffrey said. "I think it will
add tremendous value to our City."
Nauert's amendment passed 6 to 1, with McLaughlan dissenting.
The ordinance then passed unanimously.
TO BE CONTINUED IN OUR NEXT EPISODE OF 'AS
THE STUDIO TURNS' |
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JACK BENARD REVISITED |
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I wrote a story about the departure of much-loved Whip instructor
Jack Benard two months ago. I had a dozen people write back to thank
me for the story. Thank you for the nice words. Jack was a
magician who was a born teacher. I moved this story to a permanent
place on the ssqq web site. Anyone who missed the story is welcome
to read it here:
http://ssqq.com/information/advent39.htm |
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START
OF THE REGULAR FEATURES SECTION |
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COMPLAINT OF THE MONTH:
DOES SSQQ HAVE THE RIGHT TO INSIST A MALE STUDENT
MUST DANCE WITH A MALE INSTRUCTOR? |
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My In-Box has remained empty of complaints for about three months. I can't
remember the last time this happened. So I will simply revisit an issue I
brought up two months ago. First read the incidents, then read what some of
our Newsletter Readers decided to say about them.
INCIDENT ONE: CRUISE WOMAN PLAYS FAVORITES WITH OTHER DANCERS
On the Mardi Gras cruise trip, I taught a Beginners Cha Cha workshop aboard
the ship. The class was free; anyone could join. We even had a woman from
Los Angeles show up who had met our group in the infamous Hot Tub.
At the start we had 20 people including 9 men and 11 women. I asked one of
my advanced woman dancers if she would mind dancing Lead, a term that more
or less means dancing the boy's part. Although I hadn't asked her in
advance, the lady was nice enough to agree to dance lead as she had on our
previous cruise as well. Her sacrifice balanced the class perfectly.
As most of you know, in our classes we rotate partners frequently. This time
however someone threw a monkey wrench into my plans. After the second or
third rotation, the Lead lady offered to dance with another woman member of
our group. The woman flatly refused to dance. Instead the woman sat down in
a chair and watched instead, leaving the Lead Lady standing there wondering
what to do. I watched the entire scene in quiet fury.
It has been my experience over the years that women do not mind dancing with
other women. This took me by complete surprise and the "Lead Lady" as well.
Flustered by the rejection, now the lady who had once been willing to dance
lead didn't want to "Lead" any more. Instead she switched back to being a
girl. After a putdown like that, I didn't blame her a bit.
Immediately two other ladies showed up. Their arrival coupled with the
original Lead Lady's defection back to the Girl's Team meant the Lead-Follow
ratio was way out of unbalance. I knew this was going to happen - this was
the reason I had asked the advanced lady dancer to dance Lead in the first
place. But Miss Rejection's move effectively ruined those plans.
Miss Rejection had another surprise for me. Whenever we rotated again, if
the man was a good dancer, Miss R would pop up out of her seat to dance with
him. But if the next guy wasn't a good dancer, she developed the unusual
habit of sitting back down only to jump back up again if she considered the
next man worthy of being allowed to dance with her.
As you can imagine, I didn't like this stunt one bit. Did I say anything?
No. I had never encountered such a high level of rudeness before. Since she
was part of the group, I didn't see the point of calling her down. The main
reason I said nothing is that it is impossible to discuss an issue this
sensitive on the spot. How am I going to take her into a corner and talk
about this without the other students watching?
Don't forget, if I single her out on the spot or toss her out of the class,
the rest of the trip will be effectively ruined for her. Furthermore, it
interrupts the class. What are they supposed to do during our conversation?
We only had the room for a limited time so I decided to press on.
My question is: What should I have done? What would you have done? What
would Miss Manners do? Does Miss R have the right to participate in the
class? Or should I have asked her to leave? Or asked her to stay in her seat
if she wasn't going to rotate like everyone else?
I would like to know what to do the next time something like this happens.
Therefore I am soliciting advice.
I will print all comments anonymously in the next newsletter or list your
name if you ask me to.
INCIDENT TWO: A MALE STUDENT REFUSES TO DANCE WITH RICK IN CLASS.
Is there a Twilight Zone? After the Cha Cha incident, an eerily similar
situation presented itself to me just three weeks later.
In the first two weeks of my Beginning Western Swing class, there had been
more women than men. My two excellent lady assistants, Mona and Kerry, had
danced the Lead part to balance out the class. However in the third week
there was a surprising surplus of men.
Even with Mona and Kerry dancing as women again, there were still four more
men than women. I explained to the entire class that I had decided since we
were so out of balance for a while I would dance the "Follow Part".
Addressing the group, I said this might make some of the men uncomfortable,
but that I would appreciate their cooperation since I felt I could improve
their leads this way.
The fourth man that rotated to me suddenly stepped back and decided not to
dance with me. At first I was ready to look the other way, but then I
changed my mind. I realized that although none of the other men had seemed
particularly happy to dance with me, at least they had cooperated.
Over the years I have discovered that every time I make an exception, it
comes back to bite me. I firmly believed that if each man in the room saw me
allow one guy to brush me off, then some of the others would soon follow.
This same man had once done the exact same thing to me in the exact same
class! The first time this happened a year earlier I told him the next time
he came around I expected him to dance with me. He left the room before
rotating to me again.
In other words, he respected me enough to repeat my class, but he didn't
respect me enough to dance with me.
So I said, "Please either dance with me or leave." Without a word, he left.
I did not like this incident one bit when it happened and I still don't like
it. I did not enjoy confronting the gentleman nor did I enjoy making him
feel uncomfortable by insisting he dance with me. Again, the problem was
that I wasn't in a position to bargain or reach a compromise while I am
teaching a class. Any conversation not only disrupts my class, but also
serves to call unwanted attention to the student.
I have to consider the entire group. The men have paid me to teach them how
to dance. I think I have the right to dance with them whenever the situation
calls for it.
Unfortunately I am not convinced I did the right thing. I think what I
should do in the future is play the "Alamo Game", i.e. draw a line in sand
ahead of time. First I will announce I am dancing as a "Follow" and explain
it is strictly professional. Then before I dance with any man (or ask any
woman to dance with a woman), I will ask if this causes a problem for anyone
and say if they are unwilling to rotate they are welcome to sit down ahead
of time and watch for the remainder of class.
Again, I would like to know what other people think. As before, I will print
any comments anonymously or list your name if you specify you wish me to.
Rick Archer
HERE ARE THE RESPONSES TO MY QUESTION:
"I don't think there is any way to force adults to dance with same-sex
partners. What I would suggest is, at the break, you politely ask them to
dance with same-sex partners. But if they don't want to, don't force the
issue; just ignore them. Maybe switch more often so everyone has more
chances to dance with opposite-sex partners.
I always enjoyed taking classes with you because of your enthusiasm. Even
though you had taught each class hundreds of times, you made it fresh for
new students. Not all teachers have that ability."
"My principle is basically always the same..."the customer is always right".
There are exceptions, of course, but in management it must be the first rule
we follow.
I think the man (or ladies) position should be honored. Just let the
rotation continue to the next person. In time, the person will get more
comfortable with the idea if not in that class, then maybe the next class.
It does take getting used to for a lot of men, I am sure.
I think it should be introduced only in the more advanced classes where
there has been, at least, the idea of rotating accepted. My guess is that
after the individual sees his peers willing to dance with the same sex, he
(she) will finally "get over it" and accept the arms of the same sex. Peer
pressure alone will accomplish it. A friendly grin from the "instructor" as
he comes around and maybe a simple question such as "not ready yet?" is
probably all that is necessary. Eventually, the student will say okay...and
all will be happy."
"Concerning your question(s) about dance partners in the classes. I have to
confess that as much as I like to think of myself as broad minded, I would
be very uncomfortable dancing with a male partner. I might do it just not to
cause a fuss, but I'm not promising. As it happens, the class Sharon and I
are taking now, "Three Left Feet" had three extra men in it the 1st week
(the first time this has happed in all the classes we've taken). We men did
what the ladies often have to do, we air danced sometimes. I don't like it
much (especially since I brought a girl with me), but it seems like the best
alternative. If my choice is to air dance or dance with a male partner, I'll
air dance. You can shake your head, wag your finger at me, call me a
Neanderthal, but that's the way I feel.
Moving on to the woman in your class who would only dance with 'certain' of
the men. I think you needed to call her on it. As far as the other students
watching, do you really think they didn't notice and weren't aware of the
situation? I'm sure the men who were snubbed noticed. If the rule is you
HAVE to switch partners, then I think that means you don't get to pick and
choose who you dance with. I think the choice you should have given her was
to dance with all the men, or not dance with any - air dance alone , or
leave. (This is a totally different situation than a lady wanting to avoid a
man being rude or grabby or obnoxious).
Well, you asked, so there's my two cents."
"Gee Whiz Rick. I'm an ex-Marine, a motorcycle rider (Southern Cruisers
club), I have a tattoo on my shoulder of a bulldog with the word "Devildog"
beneath it, and you want me to declare that I would be O.K. dancing with a
man?
O.K.
Within the very narrow parameters you describe below (and once every 15
rotations) I could probably do it. Picture phones off, no cameras, no
recording devices. That's my best offer."
(Editors Note: I still remain at a loss what the best approach is. When I
have more time, maybe I will figure it out. As it is, I currently avoid
dancing with men whenever possible and no one seems to complain about that
at all. As a result, my ability to teach leads - something I am very good at
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BEST NEW JOKES OF THE
MONTH |
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Over the years, we have
been sent countless numbers of jokes by our Newsletter Readers.
We have kept what we thought were the best. At this point
we have now have a Hall of Fame collection of over 600 jokes.
Many of them are real gems. We rotate these jokes on a monthly
basis so over the year you get to read them all.
In addition to our
"Classics", we also get many new jokes each month sent in by our
students. This section contains our favorites. At
the end of each year we add these jokes to the "Immortal
Collection".
By the way, getting a
joke selected isn't very easy since we have been collecting
jokes for so long. It's tough to find a new one. So if you
send in a great joke and nothing ever happens, trust us - it is
already on the Web Site. If you don't believe us, email
and ask about your joke!! I am serious. I will show you
where the joke is.
We greatly appreciate any jokes you would like to submit. Send
them to Rick Archer at dance@ssqq.com
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The Lion Tamer - Chris Holmes
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show
up.
One is a good-looking older man in his mid-sixties and the other
is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it.
This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys
better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment --
chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the
whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion
starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half
way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful
nayked body.
The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her
and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves,
kisses them, licks and kisses her privates for several minutes
and rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never
seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the older
man and asks, "Can you top that?"
The older man replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of
the way."
The Catholic Horses - Pat Roberts
Bubba was from Alabama and was a hard-shell Southern Baptist. He
loved to sneak away to the race track. One day he was there
betting on the ponies and losing his shirt when he noticed a
priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of
the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, this horse
-- a very long shot -- won the race.
Bubba was most interested to see what the priest did the next
race.
Sure enough, he watched the priest step out onto the track as
the horses for the fifth race lined up, and placed a blessing on
the forehead of one of the horses. Bubba made a beeline for the
window and placed a small bet on the horse.
Again, even though another long shot, the horse the priest had
blessed won the race.
Bubba collected his winning and anxiously waited to see which
horse the priest bestowed his blessing on for the 6th race. The
priest showed, blessed a horse, Bubba bet on it, and it won!
Bubba was elated!
As the day went on, the priest continued blessing one of the
horses, and it always came in first. Bubba began to pull in some
serious money, and by the last race, he knew his wildest dreams
were going to come true. He made a quick stop at the ATM,
withdrew big money and awaited the priest's blessing that would
tell him which horse to bet on.
True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track
before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears and
hooves of one of the horses.
Bubba bet every cent and watched the horse come in dead last. He
was dumbfounded.
He made his way to the track and when he found the priest, he
demanded, "What happened, Father? All day you blessed horses and
they won. The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost. Now
I've lost my savings, thanks to you!!"
The priest nodded wisely and said, "That's the problem with you
Protestants... you can't tell the difference between a simple
blessing and the Last Rites."
An Update on the Cinderella Story - Leroy Ginzel
Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the
now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair,
watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named
Bob sitting on her lap for companionship.
One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy
godmother.
Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after
all these years?"
The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an
exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which
your heart still yearns?"
Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful
consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was
wonderful but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth
on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond
comprehension". Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid
gold.
Cinderella said, "Oh, thank you, Fairy Godmother".
The fairy godmother replied, "It is the least that I can do.
What do you want for your second wish?"
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I
were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had." At
once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage
turned.
Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant
for years.
And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more
wish; what shall it be?"
Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and
says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind
and handsome young man."
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his
biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man
so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever
seen.
The fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy
your new life!"
With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy
godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.
For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each
other's eyes. Cinderella sat breathless, gazing at the most
beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen. Bob stared
back with an odd frown on his face. Cinderella felt a mysterious
wave of passion begin to overtake her, easily the most powerful
surge since the early days of courtship with her Prince.
But Bobcat was more handsome, more powerful, and certainly more
affect | | | | |
